The Dawn Was Already Broken
by Forever without him
Summary: Breaking Dawn from Leah's POV. Prelude: "She was pregnant? I snorted out a callous laugh. Here I was, a mutated genetic dead end. Having kids for me was completely out of the question. And this leech loving whiny little runt vampire wannabe was going to have a kid! Life is completely and utterly unfair." Rated M for language.
1. You think your life sucks?

_**Prelude:** The bitch was pregnant? I snorted out a callous laugh. Here I was, a mutated genetic dead end. Having kids for me was completely out of the question. And this leech loving whiny ass vampire wannabe was going to have a kid!_

_Life is completely and utterly unfair._

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A/N: It has come to my attention that after four years on this site, my story "The Dawn Was Already Broken" (my first fanfiction) was removed due to, "Title/Summary not Fiction G rated and not suitable for all audiences" which I find absolutely hilarious considering the smut that plagues this site. At first I was just going to leave a nice note for my fans stating that if they would like to read the story they can go to Twilighted dot net (which is…in my eyes…a much better site anyway), but because I don't believe in censorship and I think that getting an entire story removed based on the premise that it has the word "ass" and "bitch" in the prelude is fucking ridiculous I will be reposting on here to prove a point to the big-bads who think they own the internet and free speech. It will probably take a while to get the entire story back up, but it will get done...because my fans make it worth it. You guys are the reason I published my own books in the first place. I'm not about to let some sissy-pants weenies who get offended (on the internet of all places *le gasp*) take that away from you all.

If I were Leah I would tell the censors to suck my salty taint. However, instead I am calmly and rationally going to tell the douchebags who are big enough to cleanse a whales vajayjay that trying to censor the internet is like trying to stop the Kardashians from being stupid. Ain't gonna happen. There are not enough middle fingers in the world to show how I feel about lame ass rules. Instead, I hope you all have enjoyed my blatant show of disregard for rules that are moronic and enjoy "The Dawn Was Already Broken". Suck it, socialist elite toolbags who control fanfiction. SUCK. IT.

This rant in itself may be enough to get my story deleted again. If that does indeed happen you can still check my stuff out on Twilighted.

Also, I apologize in advance to those people who have subscribed to my updates...because I have to repost the chapters one by one, so if you're subscribed to me you are bound to get a shit-ton of emails regarding my updates. You can thank the infantile internet police for that one.

Was that rant Leah enough? No? How about "go get fucked by an angry bear with a light saber for a penis you controlling titty sucking asshats"? Yeah, that sounds more like Leah. Censor that, dickwads.

If I have offended you...then this story is probably not for you. Enjoy. ;-)

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_Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

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_ Bought a ticket for a runaway train  
_

_Like a mad man laughin at the rain_

_Little out of touch, little insane_

_It's just easier than dealing with the pain_

_"Runaway Train_"

_-Soul Asylum_

* * *

**Chapter 1:**

**You think ****_your_**** life sucks?**

The cold air burned my nose as I sprinted through the forest, trying to drown out everything that was bothering me. My life is more complicated than any soap opera that you could find on daytime television today.

I was doing my best to concentrate on anything other than the worthless pile of crap my world has become. Being the only female werewolf in a group of boys just flat out sucks. Especially since I have to see and listen to the one boy who broke my heart every freaking day.

It made me a complete bitch to be around. But at least I can admit that. I had come to understand that it wasn't Sam's fault. But that still didn't make the resentment and anger go away. Somehow, running as a wolf made it a little less painful. I increased my speed, nose to the ground and let the cool wind tussle the fur on my back.

I was almost home now. If you could really call it that. Ever since my dad died, my mother spent most of her time with Charlie or Billy. My brother Seth and I fend for ourselves most of the time. I don't blame her, though. She knows that we would rather have it that way. It was a wolf thing.

I bared down on my teeth when I thought of everything I had given up when I was "chosen" to live this life. It was hard not to think of it as a curse.

_God Leah, bitter much? _Embry, one of the more zealous members of the pack, overheard my anger.

_Shut it, Call._I threatened.

_Aw, come on. Don't be sore at me._

_You have no clue what it's like…_

_Oh no? Because I have four legs and a fur coat that begs to differ with you. I know exactly what it's like.__  
_  
_Not THAT, you moron. _I thought about the fact that I was the only girl among a group of guys. Not to mention that I was probably going to be alone forever._  
_  
_I'll make a deal with you. If neither of us has imprinted by the time that Seth gets married, I'll settle down with you.__  
_  
I had to hold back the angry laughter. Me and Embry Call end up together? Yeah…maybe in an alternate reality. Instead of making me feel better, he had just irritated me further.

He laughed, _Come on, lighten up a little._

I thought of a few choice words before phasing back to my human form to let him know exactly how I felt.

I rustled my short dark hair to get some of the dirt out. I grabbed the cord around my ankle that was holding my clothing in place and quickly put them on.

Jacob had been the one who came up with the idea to bind some clothes to us so we wouldn't have to run around naked all the time. Before that, Sam had just shrugged at the nudity issue. Of course, that was before I became part of the pack.

He never said anything specifically, but I could tell he didn't like the other guys ogling me naked. Hell, I didn't like it either, especially since we shared the same thoughts when we were wolves.

When I reached the front door, I could hear Seth chatting away on the phone. I knew my mother was over at Billy's place. With Jacob gone, she and Charlie had been trying to help Billy out around the house. My mom also told me that Billy was lonely without his son around, so she and Charlie were trying to lift his spirits. But Seth didn't sound like he was talking to mom.

As he heard me coming through the door, his voice squeaked and he rushed off the phone. I could tell by the way he hurried his goodbye that it was probably that idiot Bella.

He grinned stupidly at me, "Hey Leah, how was the run?"

I shrugged and grabbed a coke from the refrigerator, "Boring as hell. There's not a whole to do around here anymore. The vampires that _are _around we can't even fight with."

Even though I did hate being a wolf, the fighting was pretty cool. It definitely helped me get some of my aggression out. Plus, there was absolutely nothing like ripping a bloodsucker limb from limb with your bare teeth.

I saw Seth lower his gaze. The little twerp was hiding something from me.

"What is it?" I asked.

Seth didn't say anything.

"Okay, look…I'm going to _hear _it sooner or later, so you might as well just tell me now."

"Well…Bella is getting married this weekend…"

"I'll alert the media." I rolled my eyes.

Bella Swan was probably one of the biggest morons I'd ever met. She practically threw herself into a family of vampires and begged them to take her in as one of their own. She was marrying one of the leeches…though I hadn't expected it to be so soon.

Seth ignored me and continued, "I don't know if Sam has told you or not, but some of the Cullens'…relatives…will be in town for the ceremony."

Sam must have conveniently forgotten to mention that to me. He knew what my reaction would be. I didn't have the best temper.

"We should just put up a sign up that says 'welcome all bloodsuckers.'"

"It's only for a few days. It won't be that bad." Seth always had been the optimist in the family.

"No, this will be great. A freakin' vampire orgy." I fell on to the couch, too exhausted to get pissed off right now. Something occurred to me. "Maybe we'll get lucky and one of them will slip up and break the treaty."

With so many vampires coming in for the occasion, all it would take is for one of them to let their bloodlust get the better of them. Then we could attack. The sooner that happened, the better. Then we could just get the damn fight over with. I might die, but why should I care? It's not like I had anything else left to lose.

Seth frowned disapprovingly at me, "You don't always have to be so violent."

"Ha!" I let out a laugh. "Seth…we're werewolves; we're supposed to be violent."

"Not with our friends."

"Those rotten leeches are _not _my friends." I said in a hostile tone that seemed to shock my brother. I don't know why he looked so surprised. He's known me all my life. Besides, he was the only one of the Quileutes who actually cared for the Cullens. All of the others were just waiting for a breach so we could just kill them and move on with our lives.

Well, all but one. Jacob had chosen to run away instead of face his heartbreak. Couldn't say that I blamed him. I thought about running away several times after Sam imprinted on Emily. But I couldn't bring myself to leave my parents and Seth…no matter how much the kid annoyed me. If it weren't for my family, I would be running just as far away as Jacob had.

Bella had toyed with Jacob's heart when her _beloved_ vampire left her to go to Italy or some shit. I was a little fuzzy on the details. I do know that she led Jacob on for quite some time. And she broke his heart more than once. I can't say that Bella was entirely at fault. Jacob was kind of dumb to get involved with someone who had such strong, happy feelings towards vampires. How anyone could actually like them was beyond me.

My thoughts continued to wander to the only other person who I'm sure hated the Cullens even more than I did.

"I miss Jacob," I frowned.

That didn't sound right. _I. Miss. Jacob._Had I really said that?

Seth looked as shocked as I felt.

"You wanna run that by me one more time?"

Jacob Black and I had never really seen eye to eye. We fought all the time. He just annoyed the ever living crap out of me. But, here I was, _missing _him.

"You tell anyone and I'll kill you." I threatened.

"You know, Leah, it's okay to miss him. I sure do."

"You care too much sometimes."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"When you start caring about someone too much, it hurts even more when they disappoint you."

He continued with the cheery crap, "Not everyone will disappoint you."

"I don't know anyone who hasn't." I shrugged.

I could tell he was waiting for me to admit that he had never let me down. But I wasn't going to lie to him. He'd let me down several times. He was my brother. Siblings fight. I'm sure I hadn't always been the best sister.

After I didn't tell Seth what he wanted to hear, he sat down with a sigh. He tilted his head slightly towards me and looked up at me from the corner of his eyes. He definitely had the "puppy dog" eyes thing down.

"If it helps, I promise to do my best to never let you down in the future."

Leave it to Seth to make me feel like crap, "Look, I'm sorry, kid. I'm just grumpy today."

Seth bellowed a laugh, "And how is that different than any other day?"

I growled through my teeth. We were interrupted by the ringing of the phone.

"I got it!" Seth practically lunged for it, "Hello…oh, hey Quil." He stood up and started pacing around the living room like a nervous Cocker Spaniel, "No, he won't say anything to me either." There was a pause. "I don't know." Another pause. "Sam said what?"

I grumbled as I pushed myself off of the couch. As if it weren't enough to have to see and _obey _Sam Uley on a daily basis. Psh, I didn't have to subject myself to hearing his name in casual conversations too.

Seth shot me a confused look as I took off towards my room. I slammed the door behind me, uncaring.

I didn't want to be bitter about the whole situation. In fact, I had done my best to support Emily after Sam imprinted on her. I loved them both. Emily and I had grown up together. She was family. And Sam and I spent our entire high school experience in love. Or so I thought.

Then one day he became distant. He ran away. I was terrified that something awful had happened to him. When he did finally return, he was secretive and irritable. I knew he was keeping something from me, but I had no idea what it was. We tried to work it out…then Emily came into the picture.

It was hard for me to think about what transpired next. Mostly because I didn't understand what was going on at the time. I saw him sharing secrets with her that he didn't trust enough with me. Only after I became a werewolf did I understand why he couldn't tell me what was going on.

As much as I wanted to hate the two of them for making me feel so much heartache, I couldn't. Because in the end, it wasn't Sam's fault. And it certainly wasn't Emily's. I could see the adoration they had for one another after Sam lost his temper when Emily was too close.

That was a terrible time for Sam. Emily was really there for him. I knew he felt guilty. I felt bad for Emily, but there was a part of me that was a small bit satisfied that Sam was hurting as much as me. I was a horrible person for feeling that way, and I knew that. Unfortunately, after I had that feeling of contentment, I was overcome by a wave of remorse. It wasn't right for me to be glad when someone else was hurting, especially someone I cared so much for.

So, I promised myself that I wouldn't let them know how much pain I was in. How much pain I'm still in. I've always been very good at hiding what I'm feeling. It was a bit trickier when I was a wolf. It's damn near impossible to hide your thoughts and feelings from your pack. But I masked the sadness with this arrogance that I had come to know quite well.

Reminiscing over everything I had been going through lately, I choked back tears. I wasn't going to cry. I wouldn't give Sam that satisfaction. It was easier to be angry than it was to deal with the pain.

I huffed angrily and drew my fist back. I could feel my temper boiling. Frantically, I looked for a way to release my frustration.

"Damn it." I mumbled. Why did I have to get myself so worked up? I let out an aggravated grunt and flung my fist forward into my wall.

Of course my hand went directly through the thin layer of sheet rock.

"Everything okay in there?" I heard Seth's distant voice.

"Leave me alone, Seth!"

"Leah is punching walls again…" I heard Seth tell Quil on the phone. I heard him shuffle his feet. "Yeah, I don't know. She's probably just upset about all the vampires that will be around this weekend…"

Well, I had Seth fooled. Of course, that wasn't saying much. He was a pretty gullible kid. The real test would be whether or not I could suppress these thoughts later when I was a wolf again.

I kicked some of the dust under my bed and looked for something to cover the hole with. I spotted a wall-calendar that I had yet to put up. It wouldn't fool mom for long, but it would serve as a good cover for at least a week or two. I shrugged and grabbed it off of my dresser.

When I tacked it to the wall, a thin piece of material fell from somewhere inside the calendar. It floated to the ground and grazed my foot. I looked down. It was a picture of my dad, Sam, and I. I must have tucked it inside the calendar and forgotten about it.

I bent down and picked up the piece of paper from my past. The picture was taken back before everything had become so complicated. Back at a time when I knew what happiness was. And now, my dad was gone. And I had lost Sam, too. I saw the difference in who I had been then and who I was now. In the photo, I could see a glimmer of bliss in my eyes. I glanced in the mirror at the hateful cynical person that I was today.

I couldn't bear to let the tears come, so I just toppled backwards on to my bed. I closed my eyes and welcomed the darkness. As I focused on slowing my breathing down, I pondered what life might have been like if I hadn't become a werewolf.

_If only_ none of this had ever happened. _If only_ my dad had taken better care of himself. _If only_ Sam and Emily had never met. _If only _Sam was just like any other normal boy out there. But he wasn't. And I knew exactly who was at fault for the way my life had ended up.

Fucking vampires.


	2. Me? Wear a dress? Not on your life!

_I'm so sick of being lonely_

_This is killing me so slowly_

_Don't pretend that you don't know me_

_That's the worst thing you could do_

_Now I'm singing such a sad song_

_These things never seem to last long_

_Something that I never planned on_

_Help me baby, I'm so sick of being lonely_

_"Lonely"_

_-McFly_

* * *

**Chapter 2:**

**Me? Wear a dress? Not on your life!**

The week went by faster than I would have liked. I was really not looking forward to Forks' own personal "D-Day" as I had been fondly referring to it all week. I only called it that because it pissed Seth off. I wasn't trying to upset my brother on purpose. I was just extremely uneasy knowing how many vampires were going to be gathered together in one place. It had the makings of a really crappy horror movie or something.

We ran extra patrols just in case someone the Cullens _didn't_ know showed up just to cause a little havoc. I never came across any of the visitors personally, but I could smell their putrid trails.

When the day of the wedding finally arrived, I was exhausted from all the extra running we had been doing. It did kind of serve as a good distraction.

"We're heading out now." My mother looked at me nervously.

I snorted, "Yeah, have fun."

She didn't say anything. She was probably hoping that I would change my mind and go with her and my brother to the bloodsucker's house for Bella and the stupid vampire's wedding.

She gazed at me pleadingly.

_Not a chance in hell._ My eyes probably said it all.

The only reason my mom was going was because she didn't want Seth to go alone. Well, that, and the fact that Charlie was going to be there. My mom liked Charlie. A lot. So when he called her up, asking if she would be attending his daughter's wedding, she couldn't help but to say "yes".

I must admit, it was weird to see her and Seth all dressed up. She looked gorgeous. Probably trying to look sexy for Charlie, which was sweet - and a little bit weird considering that my dad had been Charlie's best friend.

Seth looked good in his tuxedo. I felt a small knot forming in my throat as I realized that my baby brother was all grown up now. Where had the time gone? It seemed like only yesterday he was running around the front yard in his Superman underwear and wrestling with the garden hose. Now he was a fully grown werewolf wrestling with his tie, trying to straighten it.

He didn't look at all nervous that he would be surrounded by God knows how many vampires. My mom, on the other hand, looked terrified beyond belief. She had been around long enough to know how much carnage that vampires could cause.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like to come?" My mother finally got up enough courage to ask me what I knew she was thinking.

"I'd rather run through a corn field naked." Ironically, that was something that I'd had the unfortunate pleasure of experiencing once.

"Won't be the same without you." Seth frowned.

"Yep, it'll be boring, that's for sure." I shrugged. "But hey, at least you don't have to worry about keeping your big sister from starting some World War with the enemies. You can just relax and have punch…or blood, you know, whatever they're serving."

Seth rolled his eyes, "I highly doubt they'll have a giant bowl of O-positive laying out on the table."

"You're right. Too obvious. It'll probably be the frosting on the cake."

He let out a frustrated grunt, "You're impossible Leah." He paused and then added, "And the Cullens are not our enemies."

"Yet." I thought of what Bella had planned for after the wedding. I didn't want to know the details, but that didn't stop Jacob from sharing his thoughts when we were both wolves. I knew how much it pained him that Bella wanted to end her life for Edward. He could grant her immortality. And if he bit her while they were still in town, the treaty would be null and void.

It's a good thing that Jacob wasn't around, because if Edward _did_ infect Bella with his nasty, vampire spit, we would _have_ to fight. And I don't know if he could. It was hard enough for him to lose Bella once, but to know that he would be losing her again would probably break his heart even further…which I don't think is really possible.

Jacob put on a strong front. He had relentlessly pursued Bella, but he always knew in his heart that she wouldn't choose him. Some days it was terrible being in his thoughts. He didn't think he was good enough. He wasn't Edward. And though on the surface he appeared quite smug, in actuality, he was extremely insecure. He questioned whether or not he could give Bella everything she needed.

He was always wondering silently to himself about the fact that Edward and Bella could live centuries together. He thought that part of the reason that Bella didn't choose him over Edward was because that Edward could grant her wish to live forever. _They_ could live forever together. Like some creepy, perverse fairytale.

I overheard him talking to Embry once about the fact that he would give everything up for her. There was no doubt in my mind that he loved her. I could see it. Hell, I could _feel_ it.

"Oh, I forgot the camera." Seth darted towards the kitchen. A few seconds later, he poked his head back into the living room and faced my mother, "Um…where _is_ the camera?"

"It's in the hall closet. I'll go get it." My mom shuffled towards the closet.

"What do you need a camera for anyway? You do realize that if I find any pictures of _vampires_ in this house, I will shred them into tiny little pieces and burn them."

Since I couldn't do that to the _actual_ vampires in town, I could settle for doing that to pictures of them.

Seth shook his head and said, "It's for Bella." Of course it was for Bella. Because she cared _oh so much_ about pictures of her stupid family of leeches. He continued, "For a present to her and Edward, I figured I could make her a scrapbook of the wedding."

"Ha." I stifled my laughter, "Ha, ha, ha..." Seth didn't understand what I found so humorous. I giggled out, "A teenage werewolf that likes scrapbooking…"

He did not look amused. He grumbled something at me. I just continued to laugh as I fell on to the couch and flipped on the TV.

I heard a noise from outside and a few seconds later, there was a knock coming from the front door.

"Will you grab that, Leah?" Seth asked.

"Are your legs broken?" I frowned at him. He was just standing in the kitchen, probably doing nothing.

He appeared in the doorway, holding basket full of junk. "I'm looking for dad's old cufflinks."

Just the mention of my father was enough to cease my bratty attitude. I walked to the front door and opened it. I was surprised by who was gazing back at me.

"Billy?" He was wearing a tuxedo and smiling up at me from his wheelchair. How had he gotten here? I looked around and didn't see a car in sight.

He seemed to know what I was thinking, "I had a friend drop me off."

I invited him in, "Come on in." He pushed his chair across the threshold.

"I was hoping I could catch a ride to the wedding."

"Oh, you're going too, huh?" I was a little surprised that Billy Black would be even remotely interested in going to the wedding of a vampire and the girl who broke his son's heart.

"And I take it you're not?" he guessed.

"I've got better things to do with my time." I shut the door behind him.

He was grinning to himself. It looked like he had some good news, but he didn't seem willing to share.

"Sorry honey, I couldn't find it. Maybe we can do something else for them as a gift." My mom appeared in the living room.

"What, showing up isn't enough?" I questioned.

Just going to the vampire's lair would be enough to ask of anyone from our land in my opinion.

"Hello, Billy." My mom ignored my comment.

"Sue," Billy said politely. "Can I bum a ride to the wedding?"

My mom looked startled that Billy was willingly going onto the Cullen's property.

"Of course," she said, flabbergasted.

"I would have asked Charlie, but seeing as it's his daughter's wedding, he's got enough on his plate without having to worry about lugging me around." Billy leaned forward and said, "I love Renee, but between you and me, she can be a handful." Billy spoke of Bella's mother and Charlie's ex-wife. She was in town for the wedding as well.

I had to wonder how all these vampires would be able to be in the same room with so many humans. It made me nervous to think that something could go wrong, especially with my mom and Seth there.

"Seth? We've got to get going if we want to get there on time!" my mom called to Seth in the kitchen.

"Coming." When he walked into the living room, he waved to Billy. "You look great, Mr. Black."

"Oh come on, Seth, you've known me long enough to call me Billy." He rolled his eyes at my brother's unnecessary courtesy.

"Are you sure you won't come?" My mother pleaded with me one last time. I don't know what good she thought it would do to have me there. If anything, it would probably make things worse.

"Not going to happen."

She nodded at me understandingly, "Do me a favor then and get some chores done around the house."

I grunted. Why should I have to be punished because I refused to go to the stupid wedding? It wasn't going to do any good to argue with her, so I just nodded begrudgingly, "You got it."

I waved goodbye to the three crazy people who were voluntarily putting themselves into a situation with our longstanding enemies. I watched them drive away and then looked around the house to see what needed to be done.

Better to just get the chores over with than to sit on my ass for four hours with nothing to do. The living room wasn't really messy. I just straightened up a few things and then made my way into the kitchen. I did a few dishes, cleaned off the kitchen table, and swept the floor.

Only an hour had passed by the time I had finished the laundry, cleaned the counters, and dusted the shelves. I was starting to get bored.

So, I did what I always did when I had nothing else to do - I ran. I loved to jog around my property to clear my head. It was interesting to run on two feet versus four. Sometimes it was the best feeling in the world, just running with nowhere to go. No stupid thoughts in my head. No worries. And other times, I longed to just phase and run on all fours. But when I did that, I was usually sharing my quiet time with all the other wolves.

As I watched the breeze blow the trees, I realized that the sun was coming in and out of view today. No doubt the wedding would be indoors, so the humans wouldn't see those freaks for what they really were.

I sighed. I couldn't get my mom and my brother out of my head. I moaned to myself as I thought of the danger they were putting themselves in. After a few minutes of deliberation, I figured it couldn't _hurt_ to go to the Cullen's place just to keep an eye on things to make sure nothing bad happened.

But I wouldn't be caught dead going as a guest in some frumpy dress for someone I despised so much. I would go as a wolf and watch from the woods. I immediately started to shed my clothes.

I was just outside my property when I exploded into my silver-grey fur. The crisp air swayed my fur. And just like that, my quiet time was over.

_So, you decided to go after all_. Embry saw my thoughts.

_I'm not technically going to the wedding. I'm just checking on my family._

_Want some company? We're not that far from you._ I saw from Embry's eyes that he and Quil were just a few miles out from where I was running.

_No, thanks._ I said coolly. I didn't want to run with anyone. I just wanted to get a good look at mom and Seth, make sure they were okay, and then go back home.

_Aw, come on. We just thought that you might want some company when Jacob shows up and crashes Bella's wedding._ Quil chuckled.

I was caught a little by surprise. But now that he had said something, I saw that Jacob was not that far from La Push. In fact, he was almost back to his place.

_Yep, Jacob's back!_ I could hear the excitement in Embry's thoughts.

I didn't know if that was going to be such a good thing. He had been running for so long that his thoughts were pretty much all wolf now. I don't know how he was going to be able to maintain his composure around the girl that shattered his heart into a million pieces.

_Well, whoop dee doo_._ I still don't wanna run with you two juvenile delinquents._

For the first time in months, I felt Jacob phase out. It was a little weird. Now he was nonexistent to the pack. It hadn't been like that in so long.

_It's gonna be a hell of a show_. Quil couldn't wait to see what Jacob had planned.

_It's not like that,_ Embry disagreed. _He's going because he knows how much it means to Bella. He wants to see her happy on her wedding day…even if he's NOT the groom._

It was just like Jacob to sacrifice his well-being for that two-timing vampire whore. Embry and Quil overheard my feelings on the subject and started to snicker. Sam was not amused. So I changed the subject.

_Billy went to the wedding._

_I know, I'm the one who drove him to your place__,_ Sam explained. _I wasn't going to go on the Cullen's land for a social call._ He told me why he hadn't taken Billy out to the Cullen's house.

_So, Jacob's back and Billy knew he was going to the wedding._ I put everything together.

How could he not share this information with the pack? I mean, it was one thing to see Jacob's thoughts, but I had gotten so used to the surrounding scenery and wolf-centric thoughts that I was tuning him out. The rest of the pack was doing the same.

_It was Jacob's decision to not say anything. He waited until it was just me and him, and then he told me what was going on. I spoke to Billy about it a few hours ago. We all understand that Jacob wanted to do this on his own. What he does after the wedding is up to him. He may not stay around very long._

_He WILL stay,_ Embry snorted. The thought of his best friend running away again was too much for him to bear.

I didn't have the heart to tell Embry that Jacob was probably only going to share one dance with Bella before he remembered his heartache and took off again. We were a lot alike in that respect. Both of us would prefer not to face our pain. It was easier to get angry or run away. I wish I could have had the freedom Jacob had had these past couple of months.

Then again, it had to be horribly lonesome and sad. To feel like you are the only person in the world who is going to end up alone. Knowing you lost the love of your life. To _really_ be all by yourself.

My heart softened for Jacob. As much of a pain as he was, he was hurting. And I knew what that felt like. I made a promise to myself to try and be a little nicer to him. Then I laughed, because I knew there was no chance in hell of that actually happening.

I reached the Cullens' with Jacob still in my mind. What _did_ he have planned? Would he simply slip in, say a quick hello to Bella, and then slip away again? Or would he challenge Edward for Bella's love?

Well, whatever it was, I wouldn't stick around long enough to find out. I didn't like the rancid stench that the vampires were putting off. And the soft romantic music playing made me want to vomit.

I gazed through the trees into the gigantic house. I could see the vampires' shimmering auras surrounding the living room. I saw the tiny black haired one flitter down the stairs and stop in position. The Wedding March started and I saw Charlie lugging Bella down the stairs. She looked nervous as hell. She had a reason to be. I glanced at her husband to be.

I shook my head, trying to comprehend how a vampire can feel love. How they can feel _anything_. How had Bella chosen a soulless blood-sucking creature over someone with a beating heart? I felt another wave of overwhelming sadness come over me. It's a good thing I was a wolf, because sure enough I would be bawling my eyes out if I were human right now. Poor Jacob. Poor, stupid Bella.

I was reminded again how I would probably never be the woman walking down the isle.

_Being alone sucks_. I let my thoughts slip.

_Don't I know it_. I heard a familiar voice.

Jacob was on his way to have his heart broken once more for the girl he loved.


	3. Life's a Bitch, but so am I

_Yesterday I cried_

_Must have been relieved to see the softer side_

_I can understand how you'd be so confused_

_I don't envy you_

_I'm a little bit of everything, all rolled into one_

_"Bitch"_

_-Meredith Brooks_

* * *

**Chapter 3:**

**Life's a bitch, but so am I**

My eyes wandered away during most of the ceremony. I heard a couple of "oohs" and "ahhs" when Bella and Edward shared what I was assuming to be their first kiss as a married couple.

I snorted. Marriage was stupid. It was a pointless union that bound together couples who didn't think that love was a strong enough bond to hold them together.

_Wow, you really hate love._ Embry could feel me fuming.

_I don't hate love. I just don't believe it exists. It's stupid._

_Of course it exists. Imprinting is proof of that._ As soon as he said it, I heard him cussing at himself and wishing he could take it back. _Crap, I'm sorry. I didn't think that completely through…_

_It's okay. I'm used to you saying stupid stuff_, I sighed.

_Even so, you shouldn't give up on love just because of one bad experience._ He tried to state in such a way that wouldn't make Sam feel bad.

When it came to this kind of conversation, Sam usually stayed quiet. This time was no exception. His silence was something that I was thankful for.

_I've witnessed enough to know that love doesn't exist for everyone_._ I've come to terms with what my future holds._

_You can't know what your future holds. _He paused. _The psychic vampire might. But you can't say for certainty that you know where you'll be in ten years._

_I'll probably still be living at home, running as a wolf and hating every blasted second of it. I'll probably be an even more hateful bitch than I am now. Not much will have changed._ I deliberated momentarily. _Maybe I'll adopt a cat or something_.

Embry laughed. _That's kind of funny. A dog owning a cat._

I rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to the ceremony. I finally spotted my mom and Seth. Seth embraced Bella and then hugged Edward as well. I saw my mother shudder. I shuddered too. How he could be _that_ friendly with a bloodsucker worried me.

Billy was sitting comfortably in his chair. No doubt waiting for his son to show up. He looked very confident and oddly joyous.

The wedding was over. Everyone was talking and dancing around. I'm sure Seth and mom wouldn't stay long at the reception. Once I felt satisfied that they were probably safe, I took off into the looming sunset.

I hated being that close to so many vampires. If I never saw the Cullens' place again, it would be too soon. The further away from the mansion I got, the better I started to feel. I tried to occupy my mind with things other than love, vampires, and loneliness.

Getting away from their property, I was able to breathe fresh air again. Maybe I would just run for a few hours and then meet Seth and mom when they got home. Beats going home to an empty house. For once, I was free to do what I wanted without my brother tagging along or my mom looking over my shoulder and telling me what to do.

_Leah._ Sam interrupted my thoughts. _The pack needs your help._

Speaking of "telling me what to do." He must have overheard my thoughts. This is why I hated being a wolf. You do get used to it, but it's still very annoying and extremely inconvenient.

_I need you to keep an eye on things with us at the Cullens' tonight_.

I wonder if he was paying enough attention to realize that I had just _left_ the Cullens' land? I know he had to hear me moaning and groaning about _not_ wanting to go back.

_You've got to be kidding me_.

_Come on, Leah, don't start with me_.

The last place on Earth that I wanted to be. The same place I had _just_ run away from. I howled laughter at the ironic situation. The only reason I had gone out there was to make sure my family was safe. I hadn't intended on staying as long as I had.

_What about Jared?_ I really didn't feel like going back.

_I already gave him the night off. It's Kim's birthday._

_Paul?_

_He's running patrol with Collin and Brady to make sure that no unfriendly vampires slip through without us knowing_.

Now there was an odd term. _Unfriendly vampires_. Weren't _all_ vampires unfriendly to us?

_Why do you need my help?_ I felt like irritating Sam today. Push his buttons? Sure. Why not?

_With as many vampires as there are around, it would be irresponsible of me to not have the entire pack in close proximity to where they're gathered._

_You just want to keep me from ripping Edward Cullen to pieces_. Jacob revealed Sam's _real_ reasoning.

_Well, you haven't given me anything to go on. Can you blame me for being nervous_?

_Well, rest assured, oh merciless pack leader, I am going tonight strictly as Bella's best friend. I am going in peace_.

God, I really didn't want to do this. I should have just stayed at home and cleaned the damn bathroom.

_Oh, come on. It might be fun to watch. Let's see how I can screw this up_. _You know I'm a self-saboteur._ Jacob had regained a sense of humor.

He must have gotten to the point where he phased out to change into his clothes. I groaned as I made my way back to the Cullens' house. The smell of vampires once again brushed my nose.

I found a nice spot beyond the trees where I could watch the reception and listen to what wonderful advice people had for married life. Half of the things I heard made me want to roll on the ground laughing myself silly. And the other things were just complete rubbish.

Everyone seemed to be interacting quite well, especially considering how many different species of race were in the house. I have to admit that I was impressed by the fact that the bloodsuckers were able to ignore their instinct to feast on the walking buffet bar of humans.

I felt a change in the atmosphere. Quil, Sam, and Jacob were close. Jacob was human now, but Sam and Quil were still with him. Embry was bringing up the rear, trying to catch up to them.

I watched Sam phase. "Are you sure you're going to be okay?" he asked Jacob with uncertainty.

Sam was beautiful. His reddish brown skin was so soft and inviting. When he was trying to be protective, like the way he was trying to be with Jacob now, his chest puffed out, the muscles lining his stomach were very defined and rock solid.

God, snap out of it. If I had hands I would have smacked myself. I had to settle for a very dopey head tilt into the ground.

"Relax Sam," Jacob frowned. "Don't you have any faith in me at all?"

Sam answered with silence. Jacob snorted a laugh,

"Don't worry about me. I can hold my own." He took a moment to look around where we were all hidden, "Besides, I know you've got my back if something happens."

"We're not doing this to be your own personal bodyguards…" Sam shook his head.

_If we were, I'd be pissed._ I didn't sugarcoat my already fragile emotional state.

_You're always pissed._ Quil spouted out.

_Leave her alone, man._ Embry glanced at me through the trees and shrugged.

_Why should I? She pesters us just as much._

_She gets a free pass today._ Embry apparently knew what I was feeling and how badly I was hurting. Well, so much for hiding my pain.

Jacob and Sam were still talking.

"Everything is fine, Sam. You and the pack can go home."

Sam didn't answer. He just shook his head and phased back. He trotted into some nearby trees and sat down.

"…So stubborn," I heard Jacob mutter.

We watched from the cover of the trees as Edward danced with Bella, pulling her closer to Jacob, who was hidden in the darkness. Bella apparently had _no_ clue what was going on. No different than any other day, I'm sure. She was a bonafied air head, that's for sure.

Then I heard something that I would have never expected from a vampire. Edward…was thanking Jacob for showing up to the wedding? Had I heard that exchange right?

Bella gasped when she heard Jacob's voice. She looked stunned as can be. When she realized who it was, her face lit up and she lunged forward to give him a hug. I shook my head. How could Jacob forgive her? How could he stand to hold her when he knew that he could never have her? I had to hand it to the mutt, he was a damn good friend.

Then, Edward astounded me even further. He gracefully bowed away for a few minutes. He was going to leave Bella in the company of his mortal enemy, not only werewolf-wise, but romance-wise as well. Bella loved Edward, there was no doubt about that, but Jacob was the one boy who had ever even come close to winning her heart as well.

So far, everything was going well. I huffed. There was no reason for Sam to have me here. They were doing just fine. I watched the two of them dancing and talking. Jacob explained how he had just made it back into town and how weird it was for him to adjust to being human again.

It _was_ weird. I had spent so much time listening to Jacob's thoughts when I was a wolf that I got used to the little buzz in my head from him. It was different now that it was gone.

_I'll be the annoying Jacob-voice in your head if you miss it that much_. Quil laughed.

_I've been tuning you out since I first met you._ I shrugged. That shut him up.

Embry snickered, _Good one._

_Know what I don't get?_ I watched Jacob tenderly dancing with Bella. _Jacob ran. He put everything on the line for this girl and when she didn't choose him, he ran. He spent months doing his best to think of nothing but wolf thoughts to try and forget her. How was he able to throw all of that away and jump right back into the pain_? I posed the question to anyone in the pack who could answer.

_Love is a funny thing_. Embry was the first one to respond.

_I'm not laughing_, I frowned.

_Love isn't logical, Leah. In fact, there's nothing more illogical in the world. But for some reason, love conquers everything. It gives you strength you never knew you had._

I heard Jacob mention to Bella that we were watching. She didn't seem surprised, though she did say something about Sam trusting Jacob. I saw Jacob grin at that and then shrug. He told her we'd still probably be out here even if he hadn't shown up. None of us liked Seth being so close to the vampires.

"There _are_ a lot of vampires here." Jacob mentioned to Bella. "Seth doesn't take that as seriously as he should."

And how! Finally, someone who saw my brother for the uninformed naïve kid that he was. After a little more experience, maybe he would see that being friends with vampires is very dangerous.

Bella argued that Seth wasn't in any danger. Truthfully, he probably _wasn't_ in danger tonight. Even though there were vampires all over the place, there were also too many _human_ witnesses around for the vampires to do anything. That is the only thing that we shared with the bloodsuckers. The secrecy. It was a common problem that we understood.

I smiled a little. _Maybe that's what I should do to get out of this pack. I'll just run around town blabbing to everyone that I chase my tail in my spare time._

_No one would believe you._ Sam shrugged. From the way that he'd said that, it sounded as if he had once tried it.

_Ah, who knows, Sam? Maybe she'd get lucky and score an interview with Barbara Walters or something_. Embry thought positively.

I shook my head. _Katie Couric. Barbara Walters is a hack_.

Our conversation was cut short when we felt Sam's attention focus intensely on Jacob. Nothing had really changed between him and Bella. They were still slowly twirling around.

Bella was crying now. I tried to decipher whether the tears were tears of joy or tears of sadness. It seemed to be somewhere in the middle. She stumbled around trying to tell Jacob that tonight was not the night that he would lose her forever. She tried to estimate a guess, which was stupid on her part. She had to know that would upset Jacob. She continued twisting the invisible knife in his gut by talking about her honeymoon.

Jacob cringed but did his best to keep his composure. Bella got all defensive about her rights to do whatever she wished on her honeymoon. That's when I saw Jacob's posture change. The mood completely shifted as he fell silent. His hands shot straight up and latched around Bella's shoulders.

He was shaking. This was about to get ugly. Bella cried out as Jacob forgot his strength.

Then, from somewhere in the darkness, there came a hiss. I saw Edward flying towards the confrontation. This was it. The fight that Sam had been so worried about. All I could do was watch in shock from behind the trees. If Edward loved Bella as much as he claimed, then he would stop at nothing to protect her. I thought of what Embry had said, _Love gives you strength you never knew you had_. Edward was definitely strong enough to kill Jacob, and he would do it for Bella. I closed my eyes and waited for the howling to start…


	4. Damn, and I thought I was in pain

_Don't say goodbye_

_Cause I don't wanna hear those words tonight_

_Because maybe it's not the end for you and I_

_And although we knew this time would come for me and you_

_Don't say anything tonight if you're going to say goodbye_

_"Say Goodbye"_

_-Skillet_

* * *

**Chapter 4:  
**

**Damn, and I thought ****_I_**** was in pain**

It was Seth's voice that made me pop open my eyes. He must have seen what was going on from the inside and had come out to help. He was trying desperately to shake Jacob off of Bella. Edward was crouched and ready to attack if Jacob didn't do as he was told.

"Back away," Seth urged. That was my brother, always playing the peacemaker. "You'll hurt her." Seth begged Jacob to release his hold, and his anger, so no one would get hurt.

Edward snarled at Jacob and that seemed to break his trance. He loosened his grip on Bella, but his shaking continued. Edward zipped Bella away from Jacob and stood in front of her protectively. I snorted. Edward had nothing to worry about. Like Jacob would hurt Bella _on purpose_?

Jacob was staring angrily at Edward. Well, Jacob might not hurt Bella, but he looked like he was about ready to pounce on Edward. The pack noticed his building rage.

_Damn, he's gonna kill him_, Embry gawked.

_Aw man, I always miss all the fun_. Paul was upset that he was so far away.

Sam leaped forward, into the middle of the tense atmosphere.

_I got your back_. Quil followed.

Even the appearance of his brothers wasn't enough to deter Jacob. Seth was still desperately trying to pull him away. I could _hear_ him grinding his teeth together. He was on the verge of losing control.

_Do not do this_. Sam ordered with a hushed growl. Jacob didn't take his eyes off of Edward. He was so enraged that he didn't hear Sam growling.

_C'mon man, walk away before you do something you'll regret_, Quil looked into Jacob's eyes and whined.

_Tell him to get in a few good licks for me_. Paul again. He was easily the most aggressive of our pack. He had the worst control of his temper. He had definitely cooled it down after he imprinted on Jacob's sister, but he was still pretty violent.

I continued to watch curiously from the shadows as Seth tried to pull Jacob away from Edward. I saw Seth manage to inch him backwards. It was a good thing, too. He was about to rip into Edward. I smiled to myself. That would have been satisfying to see. Vampire had it coming. Jacob confirmed what I knew he was thinking when he threatened to kill the leech.

Edward had a "bring it on" look as he continued to hiss at Jacob. Part of me was begging for Jacob to let him have it. The other part of me was concerned that Jake might get hurt.

_Jacob, stop this right now_! Sam shouted with a growl, and then a warning snap.

Edward urged Seth to take a step back and get out of the way. Was the vampire actually trying to _protect_ my brother? Or was he just trying to take Jacob down before Jacob took him down? Whatever the reason, I got the distinct feeling that Edward didn't want Seth hurt. Weird.

My brother couldn't seem to get a handle on Jacob, so Sam leaned against him and started forcefully shoving him towards the trees. With Seth yanking and Sam pushing, Jacob finally started moving away from Edward and Bella.

A few minutes later, Sam had Jacob completely under control. I heard Seth trying to calm him down. Sam did the same.

Quil looked up at Bella and Edward. Bella gave him a sympathetic sigh,

"I am so sorry," she squeaked out.

_It's too late for that._ Quil grumbled to himself. He glanced at Edward. _Sam has him under control._ He let Edward know that the treaty would not be broken. Not tonight at least. Edward could forget about the fight and go back to his _precious_ wedding.

Quil raced after the others.

I watched as Bella cried. She moaned to Edward about what an idiot she was. No argument here. God, she was such a crybaby. Everything in her life, she had _chosen_ to be that way. She had no right to complain.

Now that Seth was back with the pack, I knew I could leave this foul place. My mom would be safe with Charlie and Billy. Maybe Billy would even get wind of what had happened and would convince my mother to leave early.

I kicked up the dirt and followed the boys.

I felt Jacob phase. He was still angry, trying to explain his actions to Sam. Sam wasn't listening.

_You shouldn't have gone. It's that simple_, he growled. _I knew this was going to happen. You let your anger get the better of you again, Jacob._

It was too bad that Sam _hadn't_ let Jacob maim the vampire to pieces. That's what we were made for. Besides, it serves the bloodsucker right for pulling Bella away from him. I still couldn't see what Jake saw in Bella anyway. She was a whiny little thing.

_That fucking leech…he's going to_… Jacob couldn't even say what had gotten him so upset. We had all heard it. The honeymoon crap. _He'll kill her!_

_It's Bella's choice._

Jacob shook his head. _It's one thing for her to become a vampire. But for him to try… _He still couldn't finish. _Then she WILL be dead. Really dead._

_As soon as he changes her, she'll be as good as dead in your eyes anyway. You said exactly that tonight_!

_I didn't mean that_. Jacob apparently still thought that there was a shot that he and Bella could be in each others lives after her transformation.

We all watched as they sparred back and forth for nearly an hour. It was the same argument over and over again. I wondered why Sam didn't just use his command to shut Jacob up.

Then I realized that Sam wasn't Jacob's Alpha tonight; he was his friend. He knew Jacob had to get his pain out somehow. Sam had always been the kind to be the punching bag for the people he loved. No one knew that better than I did. We had had our share of quarrels. He always let me get the last word, because he knew it made me feel a little better.

After fighting with Sam and releasing some of his anger, Jacob began to think more clearly. The first thing that came to his mind was making things right with Bella.

_I have to go back. I have to talk to her. Explain. Maybe I can change her mind._

_You've tried that before, haven't you_? I asked. _Unsuccessfully, I might add._

_You will hold your tongue, Leah. You aren't helping matters,_ Sam hissed.

Why the hell was he snapping at me? I wasn't trying to be hateful. I was just trying to remind Jacob that he had done all that he could to keep Bella from throwing her life away. There was nothing more he could do. I thought maybe if he could see that, he might not hurt so much.

Jacob shot me a sad glance. _Thanks, _he managed to sigh.

_It must have caused you some physical pain to say that_, I laughed. It couldn't have been easy for him to be nice to me when he was so worked up. We rarely shared "touching" moments.

Sam tried to push Jacob to forget about what had transpired. _What's done is done. Now why don't you just go home and get some rest?_

_I can't leave things this way. I have to see her again before…_ Jacob trailed off.

_It's too late._ I saw Sam lower his head and look at the ground.

_No,_ Jacob disagreed. _No, it isn't._

He crouched down, ready to leap forward and race back to the same girl who never listened to a word he said.

Sam stopped him not with a command, but with a realistic admission. _They're gone, Jacob. They've left for the airport._

How did Sam know their itinerary? And better yet, why was he sharing this with Jacob? The ending did not bode well for poor Jake. No matter how hard he tried, he got his heart stepped on every time.

I saw the anguish on his face. He let out a pained grunt and I swear I saw tears filling his gigantic, soft eyes. He raced forward.

Embry and Quil started to chase after him. They didn't want him to disappear on them again.

Sam immediately stopped them, _Let him go_.

At first I thought maybe he was running away again, but then I saw through his eyes what he was running towards. He raced down the highway, tracking Edward's car at speeds that I didn't even think were possible.

I whimpered. I was used to pain, but this was almost unbearable. The heartbreak he was experiencing now was nothing like anything I had ever felt from him before. Days like today were why being a wolf just flat out sucked.

_Jake, you know you won't catch them,_ Seth said softly.

Jacob ignored him and pushed forward harder. His heart was beating wildly in his chest. The entire pack could see the ground flying by beneath his feet.

_He's gonna run himself to death, Sam_. Seth was concerned.

_Trust me, running isn't going to be the thing that kills him_. I knew that his pain would inevitably be the thing that swallowed him whole.

My dad had once told me that our greatest weakness as humans was our inability to see the way others treat us. It's impossible to push the people who hurt us out of our lives, because we don't always _see_ that they aren't good for us. Friends often observe our blind love for someone who clearly does not reciprocate the feelings. They try to warn us, but we don't listen. I didn't. Jacob wasn't going to either.

The thoughts that were going through his mind were the complete opposite of what I was feeling. All he could think about was losing Bella. He loved her. I, on the other hand, hated her. I hated her for filling him with such pain. I hated her for breaking his heart. I hated that no matter how hard he fought, he would never be her first choice. But I _really_ hated the fact that I could see these things and Jacob couldn't. He _would_ see it one day. It takes some people longer than others. It hadn't taken me long to open my eyes about Sam. And it hurt all over again when I finally decided to accept the truth. I was so unhappy that Jacob was going to have to go through that as well.

_Geeze, this sucks._ Quil couldn't stand the angst anymore. He quickly ran off and phased. No doubt he was going to see Claire. For a minute, I envied the fact that he had someone that he cared so immensely about.

Sam looked at the rest of us. _You are all free to go home if you'd like_.

Embry shook his head. He wasn't going to abandon Jacob. Seth and I looked at one another. Silently, we decided to stay as well.

_Paul, I think you can finish the run by yourself tonight. I'll be running as well,_ Sam said. _Collin, Brady. Go home and rest up_. A few minutes later I felt the two newest members of our pack phase out.

I knew that in his own way, Sam was trying to protect the younger boys from feeling Jacob's pain. He gave Seth, Embry, and I a slight nod as he took off into the woods.

_How long do you think he'll go_? Seth was curious as to how far Jacob would chase Bella and Edward.

_He can't run forever_. Embry shrugged.

_I don't know. He's done pretty well these past few months._ I knew nothing would stop him from taking off once he realized that Bella was gone.

_He won't run away again._ Embry argued with me. _Right, Jacob_?

No response. He was too busy with his nose to the ground to hear anything we were saying. He hadn't been paying attention to us since Seth and Sam had dragged him away from the wedding.

The anger that he had felt had never completely gone away. And now it was rising its way to the surface again. We could all feel that he was about ready to explode. The last conversation he'd had with Bella replayed in his head.

Finally, he let all of his thoughts go.

_You told me tonight wasn't the night I was going to lose you, Bella! You can't leave it like this! We promised each other…_

He started to slow his pace. He was giving up. His run turned into a trot and then into a walk, until he came to a complete stop on the side of the road. He sat down and sighed. His thoughts were completely silent for a moment.

The woods around us were eerily quiet. I looked at Seth and Embry. They both had the same sadness in their eyes.

The silence was completely shattered as a loud scream filled the air. Miles down the road, Jacob let out a piercing, deafening howl.

I quickly phased back and went home. That was all the pain I could take for one night.


	5. Let's just get together and bitch

_When everything is going wrong, and things are just a little strange_

_It's been so long now, you've forgotten how to smile_

_And overhead, the skies are blue, but it still seems to rain on you_

_And your only friends all have better things to do_

_ "I'll be Okay"_

_-Mcfly_

* * *

**Chapter 5:**

**Let's get together and bitch about who has it worse**

The next few days were a blur. I tried to avoid phasing as much as possible. Every time I did, I was just taken right back into Jacob's pain. A pain that I still knew, and was not very friendly with. A pain that, if it had an ass, I would totally kick it. My mom stared at Seth and I when we just lounged around the house.

"Don't you two have something better to do then watch TV all the time? I thought you normally ran perimeters and guarded our ignorant little town."

Seth just stuffed some chips in his mouth and shrugged. He said something that neither of us could understand because his mouth was full.

"It's been pretty quiet lately." It wasn't a lie. Ever since the wedding had been over, all the vampires had disappeared back to their own little coffins in Transylvania…or wherever the hell they were from.

"Charlie coming over tonight?" Seth questioned.

Since Bella had left, Charlie was getting lonely. So my mother had been inviting him over a lot lately. He seemed to enjoy her company as much as her cooking. They laughed and chatted about anything and everything. Seth thought their little crush was cute. I couldn't get past the fact that Charlie's eyebrows looked like two caterpillars spazzing out on his head when he moved them.

"He is. I invited Billy and Jacob, too. I figured they could use some good home cooking." That explained why there was fresh lasagna baking in the oven. "And I know Jacob could use the company. Billy says he's been acting more depressed than usual."

Seth and I shared a quick look that my mother didn't catch. Neither of us knew what to say to Jacob. He was still upset about Bella running off to have her not-so-happily ever after with her dead husband.

Jacob had not taken off again after the night of the wedding, which surprised me. Now that Bella was gone, he really didn't have any reason to stay in La Push. But he stuck around.

"What's bugging him, anyway?" My mom questioned.

"It's probably just because Paul imprinted on Rachel." Seth frowned. I had to admit, the kid thought well on his feet. I sure as hell wouldn't have come up with that.

"Yeah, Billy told me about that," she nodded "But I don't think that's it. He said Jacob hasn't been right since he got home from the wedding."

Seth and I both kept our mouths shut. Mom knew something had happened at the wedding, but she didn't know what it was. Much like Billy knew something had happened to Jacob, but Jacob refused to talk to him about it.

It would be weird to talk to our parents about the situation at hand. Not that they weren't used to the unordinary. They had been around the paranormal long enough now that they were used to it.

But none of us wanted to explain to our parents that Bella, Charlie Swan's only daughter, was going to become a vampire…if she lived through her honeymoon, that is. I'd already lost one parent to a heart attack. I wasn't about to give my mother one too.

I paused to count the days in my head. How long had it been since that Godawful wedding? Six? I tried to figure out how long a honeymoon usually lasted. Ten days? Maybe two weeks? That sounded about right. If we hadn't heard anything after two weeks, chances would be that Bella was still alive.

My mother stared at us out of the corner of her eyes as we sat in silence, watching some rigged game show on TV.

I was too busy thinking about everything that was going on to hear what the question was. I do know that the smug, greasy guy didn't answer correctly. I laughed. The know-it-all bastard got it wrong!

It amazed me how many people in this world were so overly-confident and thought they knew everything. Bella struck me as that kind of person. How on Earth did she think that a vampire was going to be able to make love to her and _not_ kill her? He'd have to wear like a hundred and fifty condoms so his venom didn't boil her from the inside out. And even then, they'd probably just melt away.

If a vampire bite filled with venom can kill someone, how on earth can their _juices_ not? Who came up with _that_ logic? She was probably telling herself that her precious vampire would never hurt her. That he would find some way to give her what she wanted without killing her. If she croaked mid-orgasm, I wouldn't be able to contain my laughter at her funeral.

My mom saw me chuckling to myself.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh, just…the last answer that guy gave." I tried to think on the spot like Seth.

"The holocaust is funny?"

Crap, that was just my luck. I shook my head and scolded myself in thought. _Good job, Leah; you've officially made a jackass of yourself._

"I meant the one before that." I tried to recover.

"I don't find assassination very humorous either," Seth said.

Note to self: Kill Seth later. He saw me glaring at him and quickly realized he had done something wrong. He mouthed "I'm sorry" before shrugging and turning his eyes back to the TV.

Even when she wasn't here, Bella was pissing me off. Maybe she would never come back. And though that would be painful for Jacob, I really hoped that was how it played out.

Charlie didn't seem panicked about anything, so I'm sure that nothing had happened yet. I thought of Charlie and what Bella was going to put him through, and I started to get angry. I bit down on my tongue to try and suppress the rage. I couldn't afford any more holes in my wall. I was running out of things to plaster over them with.

Apparently my teeth cut through, because I tasted the blood in my mouth. Disgusting. How could vampires eat this crap on a daily basis?

I glued myself to the television again before I realized how boring this show actually was. I gladly welcomed the interruption when a knock came from the front door.

"Come on in!" my mother exclaimed.

The front door opened and Billy wheeled himself in, followed by Charlie, and then Jacob. He looked horrible. His eyes were red, and I could tell he hadn't slept. I suddenly felt overly protective and motherly towards him. Ugh, what the hell was the matter with me? I just couldn't seem to keep my emotions in check lately.

I hoped for his sake that the vampire whore _didn't_ return. I couldn't stand to see him go through this again. I knew how hard it was to lose someone you loved on a daily basis. Some days I wished that Sam would just disappear. At least then the giant hole in my heart wouldn't be reopened so frequently. If Bella _didn't_ come back, then Jacob might be able to move on with his life. If she stayed gone, he would be very fortunate that he only lost her this once.

Charlie smiled warmly at my mother and raised his brows. And there were the fuzzy caterpillars. I shivered. Watching old people flirt was so gross.

"Hey Jake," Seth smiled.

Jacob barely looked up as he responded, "S'up?"

Seth looked at me, concerned. I could tell he was worried about his friend. He didn't like to see Jacob so depressed. He wanted to make him feel better, but we all knew that there was no way to do that.

"So Sue, I hear you're making us quite the meal tonight," Charlie beamed.

"Lasagna," she nodded.

"Oh, Shake and Bake is making Lasagna now?" Billy teased my mom.

"I hope you boys brought your appetites." Mom wandered into the kitchen to check on dinner.

The truth was, ever since my dad had died, she hadn't really used the kitchen all that often. Seth and I made our own food half the time. But I think she enjoyed making meals for someone again.

She came back into the living room just in time to see Charlie patting his grumbling stomach. Billy did the same. Jacob didn't really respond. His eyes were fixated on the floor.

My mother noticed his inattention. "How about you Jacob? You like lasagna?"

His sad gaze slowly drifted upward until he met my mother's eyes, "I'm actually not very hungry," he admitted. "If it's all the same, I think I'm just going to take a walk."

My mom nodded understandingly. If she knew what Jacob was going through, she would probably start baking him cookies or something. She had that natural instinct to try and make others feel better. Trouble was, she didn't always know _how_ to comfort people, so she would just nervously bake things.

Jacob shuffled towards the door. Everyone in the room watched him.

"I'm sure Jake could use some company," Billy smiled at Seth and I. The invitation was probably more for Seth than it was for me. Jacob hated me. Hell, _I_ hated me.

"Sure, sure," Jacob smiled weakly at his dad, "Come on, Seth. Leah."

Wait, what? I was shocked. Had he really actually just invited me to go with him somewhere? Wow, he must really feel like crap to want to endure _my_ company.

Seth quickly bounded after Jacob. I swear that kid would follow him anywhere. I glanced at the TV, considering my options.

"Hey Sue, did Charlie tell you about the fish he caught the other day?" Billy questioned.

"No."

"It was huge!" Billy grinned at Charlie. It looked like they were using some secret guy code.

"It really wasn't that big." Charlie shrugged sheepishly.

"Oh, it was something alright." Billy continued babbling. "I'm telling you, you could have eaten for like a month off of this monster."

Charlie smiled at my mom, "It's in my freezer. I figured you might like it for dinner one night."

Hmmm…hang out with Jacob and Seth, or watch Charlie try and seduce my mother?

"Hey guys, wait up!" I jogged after Seth and Jacob.

They hadn't gotten very far. We reached the edge of the woods surrounding my house.

"So, I'm gonna run a little. Who's with me?" Jacob questioned.

"Awesome," Seth smiled. Seth enjoyed anything and everything. He was just a happy guy. That's why he annoyed me so much. Unhappy people being around happy people gets _very_ irritating _very_ fast.

"Why not?" I kicked my shoes off. It was still better than enduring Charlie and my mom acting like two clueless high school teenagers in love.

When we phased, I realized that it was just the three of us. Of course Quil, Paul, Jared, and Sam were with Claire, Rachel, Kim, and Emily. I couldn't begin to guess where everyone else was. They were probably all doing the same thing Seth and I had been trying to do: avoiding Jacob's pain. That's a lot easier to do when you're not a wolf.

As we ran, Jacob's mind seemed oddly at ease. I didn't feel an excruciating amount of pain from him. It was actually kind of peaceful. As we ran circles around my house, I started to feel better about life in general.

An hour passed, but I hardly realized what time it was. Seth was quick to point out that we had been at it for a while. His stomach started rumbling.

_I'm starving. I think I'm going to head back. _Seth sniffed the air.

_Tell my dad I won't be too much longer_. Jacob obviously was not sharing the hunger pains.

_Kay,_ Seth nodded. _Are you coming, Leah_?

_Just keep a plate in the microwave for me_, I shrugged. I wasn't hungry now, but I knew after running around on all fours, I would be starving by the time I got home.

He raced home. A few minutes later, I felt him phase. It was just Jacob and I now. I sat in silence. I figured he probably didn't feel like talking much.

_That's nice of you_. Jacob noticed that I was trying to stay quiet. He paused. _Why can't you be like that all of the time_?

_It's just not in my blood. I think it might kill me_. I thought about how true that statement was. The only thing that kindness had brought me in my life so far was heartache. Any time I opened my heart to someone, I would usually get it back mangled and broken. So I decided that it was easier to put a wall around my heart, close off my feelings, and stop trusting people altogether.

It made me come off as callous, hateful, and cold. But it was better than the alternative. I had been burned too many times in my life.

I had become so immersed in my own little world that I didn't realize how quiet it had gotten between Jacob and I.

I tried to pick the conversation up again. _Well, it totally blows that you're sad_. I didn't know what else to say.

Jacob let out a caustic laugh, _I'm not sad, Leah._ He paused. _I'm pissed beyond belief._

This surprised me. He hadn't been acting very hostile. Certainly nowhere near as bad as me. From observing his behavior, I would have guessed depressed, not angry.

_Then why are you being so mopey_?

_Because my anger is the thing that drove Bella away from me_.

So he was back to blaming himself again.

He tried to explain, _Sam's right. I wear my emotions too close to my sleeve._

_We all do that. It's a wolf thing._ I didn't see what the big deal was. _The other day, my mom bought me the wrong brand of apples, and I almost had a meltdown. I broke the kitchen table in half_.

_That's exactly what I'm trying to avoid. I lost my temper the other night, and I screwed things up pretty badly with Bella, and I almost killed her…husband._ I could see it pained him a little to call Edward that._ It was pretty stupid of me, _he admitted.

_No it wasn't. He's a vampire. And he's going to murder your best friend_.

_You don't understand. There's more to it than that. It was wrong of me to react the way I did. I hurt Bella. I could have killed the leech. It would have really messed up the treaty._

_If you phased and it had turned into something, I would have fought with you, Jacob_.

_Leah, stop it…_

_I don't get it. All she does is cause you heartache._

_It's hard to explain. She's just, she's always so happy to see me. She gets all glowy and…warm. And it makes me feel warm, too._

_You're a glutton for punishment, Jake._

_I guess_, he nodded. _She does things to me. Makes me feel things that I wish I didn't._

I could completely understand and relate to that. I don't know how many countless times I had wished that I didn't still love Sam.

_If I could go back to a week ago at the wedding, I…_ he thought. _Ah, who the hell am I kidding? I probably wouldn't change a thing. _He barked a laugh. _You know, if Bella hadn't been there, I would have ripped that moron limb from limb. _I saw him sigh. _But it would have hurt her. I may not show it as much as the leech, but I don't want to see her hurting either._

Great. It wasn't enough that Bella had an overprotective dick for a husband. Now she had Jacob defending her honor like she was the god damn pope. Why was I listening to this crap?

Jacob noticed my increasing hostility. _You didn't have to come, you know_.

_You invited me_. I pointed out.

_I was just being polite_.

_See what being nice gets you_? I asked sarcastically.

It fell silent between us again. He let out a huff of air and softened his voice. _Well, whatever your reason is for not treating me like crap like you normally do, thank you, _he said sincerely.

_Consider it your free pass_. I was reminded that Embry had done the same thing for me a few days ago at the wedding.

He shook his head. _God Leah, you're so confusing. You and Paul really run a tight race._ I tilted my head curiously. He saw my perplexed look and laughed as he explained, _I can't figure out who annoys me more_._ Usually, you come out ahead. But lately, Paul has really been getting on my nerves. Your spontaneous kindness tonight has really put him on the front for an ass kicking._

Apparently I was Jacob's therapist for the night. Why he was sharing this with me, I had no idea. But it's not like I had anything better to do. I may not have had any advice for him regarding Bella, but I certainly had an idea for what he should do about Paul.

_You have no problems telling me how you feel about me. Maybe you should just tell Paul he's annoying you._

Jacob considered this for a moment and then shook his head. _I think I'll just hit him._

_Good. Break his nose,_ I suggested.

Jacob laughed. I knew this truce between us wouldn't last long. It never did. There had been times before where we were able to tolerate each other, but those moments were short lived. We were just too alike, so we usually ended up butting heads.

But, for the moment, it was nice to have someone to empathize with. Both of us understood what it meant to have a broken heart. That night, my sad heart didn't hurt so badly. The pain went away for a few minutes. And I liked to think that it was the same for Jacob.


	6. I hate feelings

_You and I have got a lot in common_

_We share all the same problems_

_Luck, love, and life aren't on our side_

_I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time_

_Always last one in a long line_

_Waiting for something to turn out right_

_"Just my Luck"_

_-McFly_

* * *

**Chapter 6:**

**I hate feelings**

Mine and Jacob's newfound friendship lasted all of twelve hours. We were back to fighting as normal as the week wore on. But, at least now that I knew what was going on with him, I could phase and not have to worry about feeling the pain. The rest of the pack had yet to figure out that Jacob was just masking his anger with his new melancholy mood.

He had everyone fooled. Even his dad thought he was going to have to seek out a therapist to help Jake work through his "depression". I had been seeing a lot of Billy lately. I think he was using my house as an escape from Paul and Rachel's budding relationship. I knew it annoyed Jacob to no end. Billy probably felt the same way, but he knew that we had no control over our imprinting. That's probably the only thing that kept Billy from killing Paul.

Billy was talking to Seth about something tribal related. One of the old stories that we had heard a million times. Seth hung on his every word. My mom and I looked at each other. She smiled at me.

"Leah, you want to help me in the garden?" She planned our escape.

I grinned. I loved my mom. She always knew how to get out of a situation without looking like a bitch. Something I had apparently not inherited from her.

"God, yes." I literally leaped out of my chair and bolted for the door. Hell, I would have settled for "Leah, you're grounded. Go to your room" or "Leah, go clean the gutters." Anything to get me away from this male bonding junk.

We quickly slipped out of the house with Billy and Seth none the wiser. We ended up on the back porch. I sat down as my mother grabbed a watering can and started sprinkling the water over her window box full of wild flowers.

"There, now I don't feel like it was a complete lie," she smiled as she put the watering can back down. She sat down on the stoop next to me.

"Remind me to get you a really good mother's day gift for this," I chuckled.

"I don't think you can beat the macaroni picture you gave me when you were five."

"Oh, yeah. I remember that. The glue was sparkly. I ate it." I paused to pull one of the less painful childhood memories from my mind.

She could see that I was back in thought again. Silence overtook us for few minutes. Apparently, my mom didn't want to sit in silence.

"So, do you want to tell me why your walls look like Swiss cheese?" She had obviously uncovered my brilliant master plan to keep her from seeing the holes that had gradually filled up my bedroom walls.

"I'm having a bad week." She just stared at me, waiting for me to continue. "Okay, a bad month."

"And why is that?"

I bit my lip and grunted. I really didn't want to talk about Sam or how upset I was. I didn't want to open the floodgates, because I was afraid that if I did, I wouldn't be able to get them closed again.

So, I lied about what was really bothering me. I lied through my teeth. And I chose the one subject that I knew she was sensitive about as well.

"I miss dad." I didn't feel terrible about this lie, because it was partly true. Though I missed my father terribly, that is not what had me so upset. But I knew that mom would probably go easy on me if she thought that was what was truly upsetting me.

"Oh." She looked down at her feet. I saw the pain in her eyes. She always tried to hide it around Seth and me.

"I found a picture of him a couple of weeks ago," I explained. I left out the part about Sam being in it. "It kind of set me off."

The more I spoke to her about this, the more I realized how close to the truth it actually was. I waited for her response. It took a moment for her to gather her emotions.

"I know you miss your dad, Leah," she said understandingly, "I miss him, too. I hate it for you and Seth, especially since he isn't around to help you two through this werewolf thing," she sighed. "And I understand it can be frustrating at times, but you can't take it out on the walls."

I snorted. It was better than taking it out on the person I wanted to take it out on. I know I wouldn't last two seconds against Sam in a fight, especially with his command. So, it was better to take it out on the wall. Yes, I decided, it was the wall's fault.

My mom had not missed my not-so-subtle reaction. "I know your dad's death isn't the only thing bothering you."

Damn it, she was too perceptive. This is why I didn't like to spend a lot of time alone with my mother. She picked up on things way too easily. I looked into my mother's eyes. I couldn't lie again.

"You ever wonder about love?" I questioned.

"What about it?"

"Do you think it really exists? And if it does, do you think we are capable of loving more than one person in our lifetime?"

I saw her ponder her response. "Before I met your father, I never knew what love was. He opened me up to it. I loved him more then anything in the world. He will always have my heart."

My heart sank. Great, I could forget me ever getting over Sam. "So, you think that we're meant for one person only, then?"

"I didn't say that." And from her expression, I could see that she was thinking about Charlie. "When you love someone, all you care about is their happiness. You want them to be happy." Okay, that sounded simple enough. "I loved your dad very much. And he loved me. He would want me to be happy…even if he isn't the one making me happy anymore." Okay, now I was lost. There was a pause. "I really like Charlie. And he makes me happy. I hope you understand that doesn't make me love your father any less."

I held my laughter in. She thought that I was upset over her flirting with Charlie? Ha! Sure, it was a little weird, and his eyebrows really freaked me out, but I didn't expect my mother to stay single for the rest of her life and grow old alone…like I probably would.

Still, her advice did mean something to me. It helped me understand why people like Jacob and I continued to torture ourselves with people we had _no_ shot at being with. Seeing Sam happy with Emily is what gave me the strength to keep breathing. Much like Jacob seeing Bella happy with Edward is what drove him to be so tolerant of her. The similarities in our lives were downright spooky.

Mom glanced in the house and changed the topic. "You think Seth and Billy are still talking about guy stuff?"

_They're probably plotting a way to get you and Charlie together_. I contained my urge to say that thought out loud. I just answered with a sigh and shrugged, "Who knew that boys liked to gossip?" I rolled my eyes. "Pansies…"

My mom laughed and lovingly put her arms around my shoulders. She embraced me with a hug and kissed my forehead.

"You don't have to be so tough all the time," she advised me.

I laughed, "Look who's talking!"

She was definitely one of the toughest people I knew. After my dad's heart attack, she held my family together. Rarely did I see her in a position of vulnerability. I admired her for that.

It felt good to just let loose and chat with my mom. And now that we had gotten the harder stuff out of the way, it was time for the small talk.

"So how's pack life?"

Or, maybe the difficult subjects were just beginning. I cringed. Out of all the different topics she could have chosen, she chose _that_?

_Annoying as hell_. Held that thought in, too. "Well, it's…pack life. Doesn't really change that often."

"Is there anything exciting going on?"

"That depends, are you asking as my mother, or as a council member?"

When dad passed, mom had taken his spot on the council. I was guessing since Jacob wasn't talking to Billy, they were lacking information about what was going on. I wasn't going to be the one to piss the pack off by involving the council. That was Sam's job. And if they didn't know anything, it's because Sam wanted to handle it himself.

"Ah ha, saw through my clever façade, did you?" At least she didn't lie to me. "They are just concerned about what's going on. Especially Billy. He's really worried about Jacob."

"Trust me, Jacob is fine." I nodded.

"Well, Billy will be glad to hear that," she smiled.

"Tell Billy to stop using my mother to spy on the pack," I joked.

"I'll relay the message," she quipped back. "So, now that I've tortured you for information, how about we gossip for real? I want all the juicy stuff."

I giggled, "What do you want to know?"

"Anything. How are the new kids doing? Are they fitting in okay? Is Seth behaving himself?"

"Collin and Brady are doing quite well. They both seem to have better control of their tempers than I _ever_ will…"

"Oh, don't beat yourself up about that, honey. All women are irrational."

She had that right. Women as a whole were so complex. From the day we were born to the day we died, we were a continuous emotional rollercoaster ride of crazy hormones begetting outrageous behavior. We were lunatics.

"And Seth?" Mom brought me back into the conversation before the ranting in my head could go too far.

"Oh, he's great when he's not off on an underage drinking binge and doing drugs," I smiled so she knew that I was joking.

Of course I was joking. Seth never stepped foot out of line. He was a good kid. A little _too_ good. He made it really hard for me to do anything remotely fun. I would always pale in comparison to him.

"It's hard to believe he's a teenager now. You're both so grown up." She swallowed a knot in her throat.

Yeah, I was grown up alright. I scoffed. I was a twenty-year-old werewolf who still lived at home with mommy. Outside of running with the pack, I had no job, no friends; I wasn't in school. I had virtually no luck, no love, and no life. If you had asked me five years ago what I envisioned my life to be like, this would not have been what I'd pictured.

"I see all the kids from the Reservation growing up and falling in love. It makes me feel so old," she sighed. "Time really flies." She paused. "Since Paul imprinted, you and Seth are pretty much the only single ones left…"

She probably didn't realize it, but every word in that last sentence was like a dagger in my gut, twisting and turning and causing all kinds of damage. Imprinting. The last thing I wanted to talk about. Seth was in no hurry to imprint. He was more the "take life as it comes" kind of guy. Collin and Brady were new to the pack, so they were pretty much focused on learning how to fight and how to control their emotions. Jacob would probably be stuck on Bella for a while. That just left me.

Well, there was one other person.

"Embry hasn't imprinted either," I corrected my mom. I had almost forgotten that Embry hadn't found anyone yet. I was reminded of his ridiculous promise that he would be with me if I didn't find anyone else. It really irritated me. I didn't need pity.

As I felt my hands start to tremor slightly, I stood up. It was probably best to get out my emotions before I punched any more holes in walls.

"I'm going to go for a run to clear my head."

She smiled sadly, "Your dad used to do that when he was upset, too." I could see how much she missed him. "Every year for his birthday I would get him a new jogging outfit."

_Too bad he didn't use them as he got older._ I frowned to myself. There were times I was mad at my father for not exercising and eating right. If he had taken more measures to care for himself, he might still be with us.

"I'll try not to be too late." I waved to my mother.

I heard the phone ringing as I jogged away from my house. Whoever was calling, I was thankful for the timing. Maybe it was one of her friends. With me out running around and Seth and Billy investing in their "guy" time, my mom could use a friendly ear.

I flew towards the woods, stripping out of my clothes. I took the time to appreciate the fact that I didn't have neighbors for miles. I could just imagine some sweet, church-going old man glancing out his window at the wrong time and getting a _full_ view of a crazy woman running nude in forty degree weather.

Then I thought about the conversation my mother and I had just had about love. And I wondered if my imaginary church-going old Grandpa would have an imaginary sweet little old woman for a wife who smacked him upside the head for telling lies about a naked woman outside their house.

When my paws hit the ground, I had a roaring fit of laughter.


	7. Let's just fight already

_I'm a nightmare, a disaster_

_That's what they always said_

_I'm a lost cause, not a hero_

_But I'll make it on my own_

_"Me Against the World"_

_-Simple Plan_

* * *

**Chapter 7:**

**Let's just fight already**

I continued to laugh my ass off about the bickering old couple that I had created in my head. My laughter continued even harder when I saw a mental image in Sam's head of Quil dressed up in a crown and make-up. I heard Sam explaining through my laughter that it was at Claire's third birthday party a few days ago.

At only three-years-old, Claire totally had Quil wrapped around her tiny little finger. Anything that the imprintee wants, the imprintee apparently gets. I was going to give Quil hell for this.

Once I stopped laughing, I picked up that only Collin, Brady, and Sam were running. I heard Sam mention something about getting something to eat. The boys quickly agreed that they were hungry as well.

_I'm sure Emily has something whipped up,_ Sam offered.

_Sweet_. I heard Collin's excitement.

_Oh, her muffins are so freaking good_, Brady agreed.

Emily was a wonderful cook. All the boys raved about her food. She was always in the kitchen baking and boiling up a storm. And she was happy to do it. She told Sam that it was the least she could do for the pack for their bravery and protection.

Good thing Sam had imprinted on Emily and not me. I would have told them to fix their own damn food.

_Leah, do you mind holding the fort down while we grab a bite to eat_? Sam questioned.

_Oh, sure, it's not like I have a life or anything_. He knew that all he had to do to get me to run the perimeters was command me. Why even bother asking? He would make me do it anyway.

_A simple "yes" would suffice_. He didn't appreciate my hostility.

_Yes..._master. I tried not to let that last part slip out.

A few minutes later, I felt the boys phase. It was just me now. I sighed happily and tried to enjoy the peace. I knew it wouldn't last very long.

I ran for about an hour by myself. It was weird. I wasn't used to it being so quiet for so long when I was a wolf. It made me wonder where everyone was. I guessed all the boys who had imprinted were with their other halves. I had no clue where Jacob and Embry were. Seth was probably still idolizing Billy.

I had to admit, it was nice that he had so many male role models around. My dad had great friends. Billy was wonderful with Seth. And on the plus side, he knew about the wolves, so if Seth had any questions, he could just direct them to him.

And Charlie was great, too. I remember how at dad's funeral, he had pulled Seth and I aside and told us that if we ever needed anything, we could come to him. He was a stand-up guy. In fact, I had started to miss him when he wasn't around, which he hadn't been for a couple of days.

I realized I wasn't alone anymore when I felt Seth phase. Sam, Brady, and Collin were with him. Hmm, that was interesting. What had I missed?

Sam let out a howl. It wasn't very loud, but it was loud enough for any of the pack within range to know that he wanted them in formation _right now_.

_Something's up_. Sam explained to me when he heard my confused thoughts.

_Thank you, Captain Obvious_. _Mind explaining what exactly it is that's up?_

_As soon as the rest of the pack phases, I'll let Seth explain_.

Seth had so many thoughts flowing through his head that it was giving me a migraine trying to filter them out. He had always been a hyperactive kid. Even when he was a squalling infant, he was a busybody. My dad used to build up a toddler obstacle course around him just to keep him busy. I sighed. I was right back to missing my dad.

I closed my eyes for a moment and then pushed myself back into reality. There was no way I was going to decipher Seth's thoughts, so I just waited for everyone else to show up.

I felt Jacob phase. He was lost in his own little world, wondering what it would have been like to slice Edward in half. Just because he was choosing not to act on his feelings of hatred towards the vampire and eat him alive didn't mean that he couldn't get some satisfaction thinking about it. He didn't seem at all aware that he had several other wolves listening to him ranting and raving about having to obey Sam all the time.

Sometimes he was just so self-absorbed. That thought gained his attention.

He spouted back to me angrily, _Yeah, no hypocrisy there_.

Geeze. He was in a foul mood. Before I could really respond, Sam quickly broke up our bickering. For a second, I agreed with Jacob about having to obey Sam. It sucked to always have to listen to him.

Embry and Paul were on all fours, running towards where Sam had called from. I heard Embry explain Jared's absence. I grunted, thinking about the smut that we were going to have to hear when Jared phased. I got tired of hearing his sexual fantasies with Kim. In fact, I was completely tired of the teenage boy mindset altogether. It was perverted and exhausting.

I waited for Seth to start explaining. Most of us were here. I knew that Quil would be on his way soon as well. He was undoubtedly with Claire. He'd probably drop her off with my mom and then meet us later.

Paul was also running towards Sam. I heard Jacob mutter something off-color to him. I listened closer to Jacob's thoughts and then chuckled when I heard that Paul had stayed ahead on Jacob's "hate list". Apparently, Jacob broke his nose. Good to know that he took my advice sometimes.

He was running a few miles out, parallel to me. I felt him speed up, so I kicked it up a notch. The only thing I did better than the boys was running. I held the record for speed. And I intended on keeping that record. I think Jacob was just trying to piss me off as he tried to top out my speed. He was really ornery today.

Sam bitched at us to stop our rivalry, but I wasn't going to let up. He shrugged it off like he normally did and told Seth to share what he knew.

_Edward and Bella got home last week…_

Of course this was about Bella. What _wasn't_ about Bella around here? I was so sick and tired of everything being about that vampire loving freak. Bella did _this_, Bella did _that_, Bella's getting _married. Bella_ started her _period._ Oh, what a joyous occasion. Couldn't we go _one_ day without hearing about her every damn move?

Sam shut me up and I listened as Seth started telling us about how Charlie had called around frantically searching for Billy.

_When Charlie called our house_... Seth explained.

Ah ha, so that's who had been calling when I was running off. Apparently Charlie had spoken with Billy about Bella being very ill with some rare South American disease. Hmm, so idiocy was a disease now?

I tried to keep my smug thoughts to myself as I thought of Bella squirming around uncomfortably. I quickly suppressed the thought.

No one said anything. Guess I had gotten away with that one.

It would serve her right to be in pain. She's the one who wanted to give up her life as a human to become one of those _bloodsuckers_. Something that she was obviously close to doing. The fake disease thing was just the tip of the iceberg. It was only a matter of time now before they faked her death and created a whole new happy life for themselves, leaving Charlie devastated.

I was sad for Charlie, but I was eager to know how the vampires were going to proceed with the plan. Either they would run away to a new town and we would be free of vampires once again. Or, if they stayed, we would get to fight them and kill the entire lot of them. Either way, it was a win-win situation for me.

My thoughts quickly ceased when I felt Jacob's pain. Damn it, I hated sharing everything with all the wolves. Even though we were back to not getting along, it sucked that he had to hurt.

All of the wolves were silent. All but one. We all listened to Jacob wondering to himself about how this was going to play out. He thought about how heartbroken Charlie would be. That one stung me a bit. Then he wondered how long it would be before Bella would be able to be around humans if her funeral was open casket.

I growled silently. If her funeral was open casket, I'd shred the bitch to pieces myself. She had no right to cause Charlie and Jacob so much anguish.

I came through the clearing a few seconds before Jacob did. I trotted over to my brother and plopped down beside him. I watched as Jacob walked over next to Sam and Paul. Paul let Jacob through to stand next to Sam on his right.

Jacob lowered his head. I could feel his heart breaking _again_. Jeeze, how many times was he going to subject us to this because of _her_? A mixture of pain, rage, and heartbreak filled his mind. And _again_, I knew how he felt. I had to face that same exact horrible heartache when Sam had left me for Emily. But at least I didn't subject the pack to it every day. Still, I hated it for him.

I tried to lighten the mood. _Beat ya again_.

He ignored me.

I sat in silence as Jacob argued among everyone about what our next move should be. I was surprised that Sam wasn't in agreement that we should just go and attack the Cullens now. Even if Bella wasn't dead yet, she was planning to become one of them. To be bitten by one of them, which broke the treaty.

Sam argued that this is what Bella wanted. Jacob countered with the fact that the treaty didn't have any fine lines or specific details, and that if a vampire bites a human, no matter _what_ the situation, the formed alliances were gone and we were free to attack.

Sam tried to convince Jacob that it would be pointless and stupid to attack the Cullens, who obviously weren't a threat. I had to side with Jacob when it came to that. I just didn't trust vampires. We existed for a reason. To kill vampires. Plain and simple.

Sam wasn't getting anywhere with Jacob. I heard my brother backing Sam up. I paid close attention as Seth defended the Cullens. Of course he wouldn't want to fight them. I never did understand why he cared so much about them. So he and Edward had fought side by side last year, big deal. Since then, he had formed some kind of weird bond with the vampires that we were inevitably going to have to fight.

I was jolted back to the fight as Seth argued angrily with Jacob. I was a little stunned. He was usually a pretty mellow kid. It wasn't very often that he spouted off to others. He was angry. Really angry.

_You aren't ready for this fight, Jacob,_ Seth growled.

Jacob took his misplaced anger out on my brother as he crouched forward and bared his teeth. Instinctively, I let out a growl to let Jacob know that if he messed with Seth, there was going to be hell to pay. And _I_ was that hell.

Jacob ignored me. Sam intervened and shut us all up.

_What'd I miss_? Quil had phased a few minutes ago, and he was running towards us, eager to catch up on what was going on.

I couldn't help myself as I spouted out about his dress-up fiesta, _Hey pretty boy, how about a little less time checking your make-up in the bathroom mirror?_

_Great_, _thanks a lot for sharing, Sam,_ Quil grumbled.

Sam was too busy yelling at Jacob to respond to Quil. What else was new? They were constantly at each other's throats. I listened as Jacob tried to convince Sam that his knee-jerk reaction was the right thing to do. To attack the Cullens is what needed to be done.

I was beginning to have my doubts about Jacob's reasons for wanting to kill the Cullens. I mean, Sam had a point. Once Bella was a vampire, I don't think that they would be sticking around very long. And even though I would _love_ a good knock-down, drag-out fight, what was the point of attacking someone who had no interest in fighting us? What good would killing them do? It wouldn't bring Bella back to him. My vote continued to sway back and forth.

True, I did fantasize about ripping the whiny little runt's throat out from time to time. But Jacob just wanted to attack them because he was hurting. He was angry about something that he _knew_ was coming. I couldn't say that he was in his right state of mind while making these decisions.

Sam quickly stopped Jacob's argument, _Are you really ready to lose a brother over this_?

I huffed a little. Just like him to forget that I was around.

He glanced at me, _Or a sister_.

That was more like it. Acknowledge me, asshole.

The argument lasted a few more minutes before Jacob finally got fed up and ran off…just like he always did. Seth pleaded with him not to run away again.

Sam softly told Jacob that running away was not the answer, and that we wanted him around. Well, I wouldn't have gone that far.

Jacob had apparently pressed the "mute" button on his brain. He wasn't listening to a word that anyone said.

I could tell Seth felt badly about Jake's pain.

_It's not your fault,_ I shrugged.

_I was out of line_. Seth was feeling remorseful.

_You were. But that isn't the issue here._ Sam shook his gigantic head.

No one knew what to say, so we just stayed quiet. Sam disappeared for a little while. He had a phone call to make. He didn't say who it was to, but we all knew. Billy deserved to know what was going on.

When he returned, he realized that none of us had moved. A few minutes later, Jacob phased out and Sam finally broke the uncomfortable silence.

_No one does anything just yet_. He reminded us that he was still in charge.

_You think Jake'll cool down?_ Seth asked.

_Don't worry about Jacob_.

_He was pretty mad. You know how he gets…_ Seth was still concerned.

_Let it go, Seth. Leave me to take care of that._

_And the Cullens?_ Embry was the one to ask what we were all thinking.

_No one sets foot on their land until we have more information,_ Sam ordered.

I could see in his soft brown eyes that something wasn't right. There was something he was keeping from us. There was a fear that he was trying not to share.

It didn't take us long to figure out what it was. I'm not sure why he didn't just tell us what he thought was coming. Maybe he hoped that we wouldn't figure it out. I think I was the first one to piece it together.

Jacob and I were a lot alike. Both of us were extremely passionate people who let our anger control our reactions. I thought about what I would do if it were me in his situation. When the realization hit, it hit hard. I gasped.

He wasn't going to run away. He was going to face Edward. He was going to fight them alone. That impulsive idiot was going to get himself killed.


	8. Is Everyone crazy?

_The look of camouflage_

_On the ones who beg_

_The decider says I'm a fighter_

_But I can't feel my fucking legs_

"_Broken Arm"_

_-Winterpills _

* * *

**Chapter 8:**

**Is everyone crazy?**

Everyone immediately started to freak out about Jacob. Would he actually go through with it? Would he succeed? Or would he just get ripped to pieces? Why wasn't Sam doing anything to help or stop him? Did he _want_ Jacob to get killed?

Sam shot an evil look at me, _Of course I don't want that. But what else am I supposed to do_?

_Well, you are the Alpha,_ I frowned. He was continuously reminding us of that. _Do something Alpha-y._ Was that even a word? Probably not.

_You saw how well that worked._ Sam lowered his eyes at me.

_You should have tried harder_.

_What would you have me do, Leah? Attack him_?

_He would've healed_, I shrugged. Besides, getting a few puncture wounds from Sam would be a hell of a lot better than being shred to pieces by vampires.

Jared _finally_ phased. He'd missed pretty much everything. He heard all the confusion and anger in our thoughts. He immediately wanted to know what was going on. He came into one giant argument after another.

_If he's going to the Cullens, shouldn't someone go to back him up_? I frowned. Sam couldn't honestly let one of his pack member's die without trying to do anything about it, could he?

_Jacob made a decision._ He vented. _A very stupid decision. And whatever happens is on him._

_Oh come on, Sam, we can't let him die,_ Seth begged.

_Wait, Jake's dying_? Jared was still pretty out of the loop.

_He went to fight the vampires_, Paul snorted.

There was a pause and then Jared gave an approving howl, _Bout damn time we kicked their asses. That's just completely awesome!_

_No, not really. He's going renegade. There's no evidence that the treaty has been broken._ Quil sounded sad.

_Well, I'm not going to sit around and wait for him to die_. I refused. I stood up, ready to speed off into the forest.

I hadn't even gotten two feet before Sam stopped me, _You will not disobey me, Leah._

_Laying down the law, are we, Sam?_ I questioned, _Maybe I should have let you do that in the bedroom more. Maybe that's why you dumped me. I always knew I was too strong of a woman…_ It was a low blow, but I didn't care.

_Damn Leah, that was cold,_ Quil frowned.

_Shut it, Dancing Queen_. I quickly reminded him that I had not forgotten about his dress up incident.

Sam took a moment to recover from my ugly jab, and then he was back in the lead. _No one is going anywhere_._ We're going to wait._

_Wait on what? For Jake to get killed?_ Embry snarled. _I'm with Leah: let's go help him. We aren't doing any good sitting around here._

I gave him an appreciative nod and smile. Sam faced Embry and me. _I get that this is difficult for you. It is for me, too. But there are certain rules that must be abided by. We have to work together._

I grumbled. We weren't working together; we were working for _Sam_. Doing what _he_ wanted. I hated not having the will to do what I wanted. If he didn't have his stupid hold over me, I would be racing towards saving Jacob's stupid ass. I know that Seth and Embry felt the same way.

_Sam, please_? Seth pleaded. He loved everyone in the pack, but he had gotten particularly close to Jacob. He was like the big brother he'd never had. Sometimes I felt bad for the kid. He had wanted a brother so bad. Instead, he had me.

_Don't you start this too, Seth._ Sam shook his head.

_There has to be something we can do._ He paused. _Send me. Maybe I can cut him off. And the Cullens know me, so it's not like it would be a problem for me to be on their land._

_I will not put you in that kind of danger. I don't want you in the middle of this,_ Sam refused.

Sam was right about that. Seth couldn't see what a risky situation this was. It would be stupid to put him in the middle of Jacob and Edward's battle.

_I'll go too,_ Embry nodded eagerly. _So Seth won't have to go alone._

_I don't want to hear anymore arguments. No one is going anywhere. What I say, goes in this pack. Understand that. I don't particularly like to lay down the law with you guys, but so help me God, if one of you steps out of line, I will punish you,_ Sam said firmly.

He used the Alpha command. We had no choice but to listen to him. But that didn't mean we had to be happy about it. We were still very upset. Seth grumbled a few cuss words under his breath. Rarely did I ever hear him use that kind of language. I wish I could have fought back more. Or convinced the rest of the pack to rise up against Sam. But the others had accepted Sam's bullshit logic. The three of us continued grumbling quietly to ourselves as everyone else formed a plan.

_Now, it's important to strategize a plan for each scenario._ Sam walked the circle and looked at each of us. He paused to take a moment to recognize Jacob's empty spot. He just shook his head and continued.

_Collin and Quil will run the borders._ Sam started handing out assignments. _Brady and Jared need to follow. Embry, you, Leah, and Seth are with me._ He was probably afraid that we would take off after Jake after we were separated from the pack. He wasn't wrong there. If he turned his back, I would have been so far gone…

_I'll go to the Black's,_ Paul suggested.

_That might not be a bad idea,_ Sam nodded in approval. _If something happens and one of the vampires comes looking for revenge, it would be best to have Billy and Rachel protected._

Oh sure, Paul got to do what _he_ wanted to do. Stupid Alpha's Pet.

_If one of those parasites comes near Rachel, I'll rip their fucking head off,_ Paul growled through his teeth.

_Focus on the matter at hand._ Sam reminded Paul.

The matter at hand? That matter at hand was the fact that Sam was going to let Jacob die because he was too much of a coward to fight the vampires himself. He couldn't _stand_ that Jacob had the balls to ignore him and do what needed to be done.

I shook my head. My feelings were bouncing back and forth. Jacob attacking the Cullens was stupid and irrational, yet Sam _not_ attacking them could prove to be dangerous and catastrophic. I knew that Jacob wasn't thinking clearly, but I didn't think that Sam was either.

_Right, sorry_. Paul took off towards the Black's house.

Seth moaned, _How come he gets to go where he wants to go_?

_Because he doesn't fight me every step of the way. Now fall in line, Seth_, Sam growled.

I winced as my brother was forced under Sam's command. I could see how much Seth was resisting. I had more or less given up. What other choice did I have? Sam would always have a hold over me. In _and_ out of pack life. I wondered if those vampires in Italy took suicide requests from werewolves.

_This isn't fair,_ Seth whimpered.

_Tell me about it_. Just because I had given up fighting Sam didn't mean he wasn't still going to hear me bitch about how unhappy I was.

_Well, you know what? Life isn't fair. It's full of disappointment. Get used to it,_ Sam snapped again. I could tell he was addressing this mostly to me. _Stop bitching and get over it._

_You know we're going to follow your lead whether we want to or not. You don't have to be such a dick about it,_ Embry snarled.

I stopped dead in my tracks. Had Embry Call just stood up to Sam Uley? When exactly had Embry become all macho and brave? Had I missed something? I had never seen him challenge Sam before. He was a lot like Seth, mellow and easy going. He just liked for people to get along. He rarely said anything in anger.

I could tell from his thoughts that Sam was just as startled as I was. He took a moment to think before he responded.

_What?_ was all Sam managed to ask.

_It's enough that she has to see and listen to you after the whole "imprinting" fiasco. I'm just saying that maybe you should cut her some slack._

I saw Seth's mouth hanging open stupidly. I'm sure mine was too. I was completely floored. I couldn't tell what was going on in Embry's brain. He was upset about Jacob, there was no doubt about that. But there were a bunch of other jumbled thoughts that I couldn't exactly pick through.

_Uh…okay?_ Sam was still flabbergasted. He shook his head. _Just…whatever…nose to the ground guys,_ he ordered.

We started our run. Oddly enough, no one in the pack said anything about Embry's strange outburst. I thought I heard Quil mumble some kind of approval to him, but I wasn't sure.

_That was…nice_. I looked to Embry who was running just a few feet beside me.

_Just figured you could use some backup. _

_Thanks…I think_. I wasn't sure _what_ to think.

He sighed and then mumbled, _Sure would be nice to give Jake some backup, too_.

_Embry…_ Sam growled a warning at him.

_What, now we can't talk about how we're feeling_? Embry questioned.

_Keep the attitude to a minimum please._ Sam wasn't very hasty with this request. It seemed to be more of a plead than a command.

Embry shut up after that. For almost an hour, we ran in silence except for a few more jabs I took at Quil about dressing up in women's clothing.

As time lingered on, we continued to wonder what had become of Jacob. He hadn't phased and obviously wasn't going to. He was avoiding the confrontation he was going to have with Sam…if he had lived through his visit to the vampire's place. Everyone waited in anticipation.

I could feel the wave of relief when we felt Jacob phase. Everyone started calling out to him, begging to know that he was okay. I wasn't about to say anything. I was pissed at him. How could he do something so stupid? I couldn't figure out if I was more upset that he had done it, or that he hadn't invited me to wreck some havoc with him. He knew I hated those damn vampires. Plus, I'd already told him I would fight with him. To hell with Sam's commands.

Through Paul's eyes, I could see the Black's house. He phased out. Must be updating Jacob's family, letting them know that he wasn't dead. Billy had to have been going crazy with concern.

Sam, of course, was extremely angry. He ordered Jacob back home. I couldn't imagine the lashing in store for Jacob. But, then something in Sam's mind changed. We all felt Jacob's shock and confusion. And it didn't take us long to catch up.

It was all like a really horrible slow motion picture show. The part where he ripped Billy's phone out of the wall amused me a little. Looks like I wasn't the only wolf who created craters in walls.

But it all went downhill from there.

Jacob _had_ run off to the Cullen's place. He had every intention of attacking Edward, but what he found when he arrived had changed his mind.

Carlisle Cullen had been the one who answered the door when Jacob arrived. That was probably a good thing, too, because had it been any of the others, Jacob might have attacked right then. Carlisle was hard to hate, plus he had treated Jacob's injuries when he was hurt in battle last year. I think Jake had a sort of respect for the guy.

I saw Edward's face and instinctively growled, but something in his eyes made me stop the rumbling in my throat. He almost looked..._pained_. That pleased me. But it also shocked me. Was it possible for a vampire to feel pain? Because Edward looked like the _epitome_ of pain in this memory.

Nothing could have prepared us for what happened next. A flash of Bella appeared in Jacob's mind. And she looked sick. _Really_ sick. She was obviously not a vampire yet. Bella's face matched that of the white sofa she was resting on. The skin on her face was hanging off of her bones.

The stupid blonde vampire, Rosalie I believe was her name, huddled over Bella. As if she needed any more protection. They had to know by now that Jacob would never hurt Bella. A thought then occurred to me. From what I could recall, Rosalie had always been indifferent to Bella. Why was she protecting someone she didn't care about?

Then it was a flash of little things. Bella vomiting. Edward trying to get near her only to be stopped by the blonde bimbo. Bella _comforting_ Edward? Rosalie being a bitch. And then…the blanket that was covering Bella came off as she stood up.

In Jacob's mind, it looked like he might vomit. I thought I might, too. His thoughts started flashing even faster. Edward begged Jacob to convince Bella that she was going to get herself killed. He knew that this was his fault. I snorted. Looks like he should have used more than 150 condoms after all.

Edward explained that they couldn't convince Bella to get rid of the thing inside of her. She was a bigger idiot than I thought. When Jacob suggested taking it by force, I understood what the blonde leech was doing all huddled and protective of her. So, she was helping Bella die all because she had missed out on some mommy time? God, what a selfish bitch.

Bella was right up there with that wannabe surrogate mom in the selfishness department. If she loved Edward, why the hell would she put him through this? Not that I cared about Edward's feelings. I was just starting to see a pattern with her. Use a man to get what you want, and then to hell with them afterwards. Yeah, _that's_ healthy.

Edward brought on the self-hate pretty heavily. I don't think even I hated myself as much as Edward appeared to loathe his existence. He begged Jacob to talk some sense into her. I bet Jacob was starting to get accustomed to being used. Edward seemed to be of the mindset that if Bella died, he wanted Jacob to kill him. Freaking suicidal vampire. I certainly wouldn't have a problem helping him die.

Then there was more of Rosalie being a crazy psycho. Jacob and Bella talking. She didn't listen. _There's_ a surprise. Then Bella started babbling some nonsense about imprinting and how she understood it. I scoffed. _We_ barely understood it. There was no way that she knew how it worked. More of Bella and Jacob arguing. Stupid girl probably thought she was being tough with the thing inside killing her.

As it was, the thing was already bruising her from the inside out. I saw her mangled body through Jacob's eyes. It was just very disturbing. And when Jacob started begging _for_ Edward, I could taste the venom in my mouth. Jacob did everything humanly possible to try and help Bella out of the situation. Now, there was only one thing left to do. Sit back and wait for her to die.

No one in the pack could form a complete sentence. I thought I heard Seth stutter out a _Huh_?

Embry forced out, _How_?

No one else spoke after that. We were all just in too much shock. It was a lot of information to take in. Sam didn't have to tell us to do anything. We were already on our feet, racing to meet Jacob.

Much like the rest of the pack, my thoughts stayed completely silent. I tried to understand what I had seen in Jacob's head. It took a moment for it to sink in. Though she was clearly not in this state two weeks ago, there was something inside of her that was growing at an enormous rate. I don't know how it had happened, but…she was pregnant.

I huffed angrily. The bitch was pregnant? I somehow snorted out a callous laugh. Here I was, a mutated genetic dead end. Having kids for me was completely out of the question. And this leech loving whiny ass vampire wannabe was going to have a _kid_!

How is it that some people get everything they want in life?

Sam was right. Life is completely and utterly unfair.


	9. Can you say overreaction?

_I can figure out the point of anything_

_Just not as quick as I can mess up my life_

_With all my dreams hooked to hospital machines_

_I think let's try redefining beautiful_

_I'm so tired, I've had enough_

_If it's one thing I've learned, you'll always get burned_

_But you'll never give it up_

_"Point of Extinction"_

_-Motion City Soundtrack_

* * *

**Chapter 9:**

**Can you say "overreaction?"**

As we ran through La Push into the sunset to meet a stunned Jacob, no one knew what to say. For once, the entire pack was at a loss for words. Yeah, like that would last very long.

When we met up and completed the pack, everyone seemed to be sharing the same common agitation. Paul, as always was pissed. Nothing new there. Jared and Sam moved in unison, letting out a growl every so often. I sat down next to Seth, perhaps the calmest of the entire pack, and waited for everyone to start yelling.

I didn't have to wait long. Embry continued with his attitude as he complained about how dangerous the situation had become. Paul started huffing about how this was an abomination.

Sam agreed, _We can not allow it._

Allow what? Were we going to be the town's own personal abortion service now? There wasn't a whole lot we could do now that the vampires had found a way to reproduce. We were screwed.

_Way to think positive._ Embry was the only one paying any attention to me.

I just shrugged silently. It was true. I always considered myself a realist.

_More like pessimist,_ Embry argued.

_Well, this changes things,_ Sam pondered in thought.

Yeah, no shit. Jacob had been right all along. The vampires…and their mutated baby needed to die.

Sam shook his head, _I'm not really sure what the next step is. The treaty doesn't cover this._

I looked over at Jacob, who was hanging his head on the other side of where Seth sat. He looked broken and shocked. Out of habit, I started pacing in synchronization with the pack. They were right about this. Whatever spawn that Bella was carrying put the whole pack and the entire town at risk.

We tried to understand - if the vampires were afraid of it, why they did not just destroy it? A picture of Bella flashed through our minds. Of course they didn't want to upset her. Heaven forbid the poor helpless little human get hurt.

I kept my eyes focused on Jacob. He stood up and looked like he was about to pass out. Seth quickly helped him catch his balance. He tried to squeak something out, but he was so out of it that his words weren't making any sense.

Well, if the Cullens weren't going to do something, we were going to have to. I heard Embry whimper something about a fight. And then the rest of the pack automatically started to plan a surprise strike. It was about time. I had been ready for this fight since last year.

Sam brought up the fight from last year. We had formed an alliance with the Cullens to battle a heard of newborn vampires that were popping up all over the place. Whatever was growing inside Bella would not be able to abide by the treaty. And, more than likely, the Cullens would defend it. There was a flash of the irritating blonde vampire in Sam's head.

_It's just a baby._ Collin didn't seem to understand the intensity of what was going on.

I laughed. Not for long. I'd destroy the damn thing myself if I could get close enough.

Seth glared at me angrily. I had a feeling that if he wasn't still supporting Jacob, he would have lunged for my throat. The kid could be so touchy. He turned to Sam and mentioned that maybe we should just force the Cullens to leave. He was doing everything in his power to make sure this didn't turn into a fight. For a werewolf, he wasn't very aggressive.

Jacob was finally coming out of his trance. He started arguing with Sam and calling him a hypocrite. He had a point. Just hours ago, Sam was _ordering_ us not to go and fight the Cullens. And now, it seemed imperative to him.

I shrugged. I didn't really care. I could use a good fight.

_This is a pointless argument. There is no way to destroy the…thing…_ Jacob frowned. I guess he still hadn't figured out what to call it yet either, _without destroying Bella as well. _I felt his anger boiling in his body.

Sam didn't respond. Instead, he glared into Jacob's eyes. I could feel a mixture of anger and sadness. It didn't take Jacob long to realize what Sam planned to do.

Seth gasped when he understood, _You're going to kill her_?

_She's human_! Jacob cried out in pain.

_She's gonna die anyway_. I didn't see why Jacob even cared if Bella lived or died. She had chosen Edward. Plus, she had set herself up for this. It's not like she didn't know what she was getting into. It served her right for getting involved with a pack of vampires. She was too stupid _not_ to die.

I saw rage fly across Jacob's face. He lunged for me. I was so shocked that he was flying towards me that I didn't even have a chance to react. He came within inches of my back leg before Sam intervened. He tackled Jacob to the ground.

_What the hell was that_? I growled at Jacob. It's not like he didn't already know my feelings on the subject. My hate for Bella and her stupid vampires was no secret.

He was too busy being subdued by Sam to even hear me.

Even though I had meant everything I was thinking, I still couldn't help but feel bad that I'd upset Jacob. I guess this was a touchy subject for him. I watched as Sam reamed him for trying to attack me.

Then Sam looked at me and started to bitch at me about not being compassionate to Jacob or something. I don't know, I wasn't really listening. I decided I was just going to tune everyone out. There was so much thinking going on that it was driving me insane. So I watched Sam's angry jaw snarl at me about…whatever I had done to piss him off this time. I didn't hear a word he said.

…Until, he mentioned something about attacking the Cullens tonight. I was immediately drawn back into the conversation. We were fighting? _Now_?

_Tonight_? Seth whined. I could see the pain in Seth's eyes. He wanted to avoid this as much as Jacob. He pleaded with Sam to take his time in making this decision. But Sam wasn't having any of Seth's whiny vampire loving tolerance anymore.

I watched as he used his Alpha power to make my brother see things from his point of view. I let out a low rumble. I didn't like Sam using the Alpha command at all, especially on my brother.

Seth had no choice but to listen to what Sam was saying. He went over an attack plan. Jacob, Quil, and Embry would fight Emmett and Jasper. Fair match there, though I don't know if Jacob could take on both of the stronger fighters in the Cullen house while being so obsessively torn up over Bella.

_Hey, the three musketeers together again_. Quil tried to cheer Jacob up.

_Yeah, we're gonna kick some ass tonight_. Embry joined Quil in his attempt to take Jacob's mind off of Bella.

Sam chose Paul and Jared for his flanks to fight Edward and Rosalie. I was a little miffed that I wasn't going to get a chance to tear the blonde to shreds. I liked her the least out of all the Cullens. She annoyed me. She reminded me of those stuck up cheerleader types that you could find in high schools all over the world. The ones who thought they were better than everyone else. Stupid stuck-up bimbo.

I guess Sam figured the surrogate mommy would be the most fearsome fighter. We could see from Jacob's thoughts how attached she was to the unborn parasite. I wondered if she even cared about Bella at all, or if she was just feeding some need she'd missed out on while she was human. She and Edward would be the two nearest Bella, protecting her. Sam implied that if he and Paul were able to take out Edward, and Jared was able to subdue Rosalie, whoever could get a clear shot on Bella was to take her and the demon child down.

Sam surprised me when he put me in charge of Collin, Brady, and Seth. We were assigned to fight Alice, Carlisle, and Esme.

I saw Seth flinch a little when he heard Sam mention Esme's name. Sam still had him under the throat hold of the Alpha command. I was starting to get pissed off about that, but I knew there was nothing I could do. Seth whimpered as his nose hit the ground. He was fighting back, hard. He did not want to fight the Cullens.

_Let him breathe for a minute, Sam,_ I tried to defend Seth.

_I'll put you in your place too, Leah,_ Sam threatened.

Sam was really starting to push my buttons. I had been angry at him before, but I was downright _furious_ with his behavior tonight. If he weren't the Alpha, I would claw his ass to pieces. My fury intensified the longer I watched Sam holding Seth and Jacob in his command.

Jacob fought back with more rage than Seth, especially when Sam mentioned killing Bella. I saw Jacob's legs fold out from underneath him. Both he and my brother were on the ground under Sam's command. Seth whined again.

_Seth, stop being so stubborn and just listen to him,_ I grumbled.

Seth was holding back his pain. He considered the vampires his friends. I shook my head at that. I had tried to warn him that it would one day come to this. He didn't see it then, but I was trying to protect him from the anguish that he was feeling now.

_I told you so,_ I said softly.

_Oh, shut up,_ Seth spit at me.

Jacob's pain was even more intense than Seth's. This was hard to tolerate. He tried one last attempt to argue with Sam, but Sam quickly shut him up. Then I saw Jacob do something I would have never thought I'd see in a million years. He begged, _pleaded_ with Sam not to make us do this.

My jaw snapped open in shock when Jacob admitted how much this was killing him. He'd never blatantly stated his emotions like this. I watched with a sorrowed silence as Sam put Jacob in his place once more, ordering him to fight. And that was it, Jake had no other choice.

Sam ordered me to take point with the younger boys. I had no choice but to obey. Collin and Brady were more eager to do this than Seth.

_So, what's the plan_? Brady questioned.

I had to think for a moment. It had been so long since someone asked my opinion in this matter that I wasn't sure how to respond.

_You heard Sam. Doesn't get any more simple than that. Our job is to pick off the weaker ones. Alice is the tiny, little, black haired one._ I felt a twinge of guilt. She really was a small thing. Even though she was a vampire, it made me feel bad that I was going to kill someone so small and fragile. I had to shake those feelings and remember that she was a _vampire._ Our enemy. I continued, _Um, she will be pretty defenseless…_

_Because she can't see our paths like she can everyone else, right?_ Brady questioned.

There was a fluke in our brain mechanism that made it impossible for the psychic vampire to see what we were going to do.

_Yeah,_ I nodded. That just didn't seem right. It would be like attacking a blind midget or something. I had to push away those feelings of guilt again. Vampire, vampire, vampire. Focus, Leah! I yelled at myself.

_Not so easy, is it_? Seth heard my conflicting thoughts. He chuckled sarcastically, _At least I know you aren't as heartless as some_… He was obviously referring to Sam.

I really hated to see Seth in this fight. It was always tough for me to watch him go into battle. I always had a hope that Sam would just let the younger wolves go home. Collin and Brady weren't very skilled when it came to fighting. But I had to work with what I was given. I decided that Seth being under Sam's rule was enough for one day, so I wasn't going to force him to fight anyone.

I continued with the plan, _Alright, the doctor probably won't fight back, so we'll just take him out first_. I had to fight against my better judgment as it screamed how wrong that statement was. I glanced at Collin and then Brady. Seth looked at me with begging eyes.

_He doesn't deserve to die. None of them do._

_I'm sorry; there's nothing I can do_. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I didn't want to do this any more than Seth did. This was what Sam wanted, so I had to obey. But I hated what we had to do. I hated that this was going to break Jacob. I hated that I had to kill these vampires that Seth considered his friends. I hated that I was so angry about everything. I hated that I had to follow Sam's rule. I just hated everything.

I tried to channel that hate into rage so maybe this attack would go easier. It wasn't working. I just started to feel horrible.

_After Carlisle is gone, we'll split up. I'll take Esme, and you guys will take Alice._ I figured it would be easier for them to take down Alice, who was not a threat at all without her little future telling power.

_What happens if Carlisle decides to fight back_? Seth's voice sounded dead.

I shrugged. Even if the good doctor did fight back, he still wouldn't be much of a challenge for four werewolves. I looked at Seth. No way he'd fight Carlisle. Okay…three werewolves. I didn't respond to his question.

_What are you doing_? Seth frowned.

_I'm ignoring you._

_Good_, he huffed. _I don't want to do this anyway._

_Seth, I know you don't want to fight, but we need you to. So, you will listen to your sister_. Sam's voice was very loud over everyone else's.

If it had been any other time that I'd heard that phrase, I would have been jumping for joy and sticking my tongue out at Seth childishly. Having it pointed out to your little brother that you were in charge of him was great. But considering the circumstances, I felt badly for Seth. So I sighed.

_I know it sucks, kid. But what other choice do you have_?

Seth refused to respond to me. I was used to the silent treatment. He'd used it on me every time he got mad at me from the time he was five-years-old. I laughed when I remembered the first time he'd used it. I had broken one of his toys. And instead of screaming like a normal five-year-old, he had placed his arms angrily across his chest, turned his head away from me and grumbled, "Hmph!" He didn't talk to me for days after that. Ah, those were the good old _quiet_ days. The silent treatment had the opposite effect on me now. I could care less that he wasn't talking. It made my head a lot quieter.

_You're a terrible sister_. Seth frowned at me.

_Wow, you lasted ten whole seconds._ I pointed out his silent treatment wasn't very effective.

I continued the plan for the fight. Collin and Brady hung on my every word. It was actually kind of cool. I was starting to see why Sam liked this "Alpha" stuff. Having people listening to you was not something I was used to.

I got so wrapped up in planning, that I hadn't noticed the increasing hostility between Sam and Jacob. I had to laugh. So they were at it again. When would they just beat the crap out of each other and then move on like regular guys? I realized that I might get to see that tonight.

Jacob challenged Sam, but was quickly put in his place. I felt Embry's sympathetic thoughts. He begged Jacob to just stop fighting it, much like I had told Seth earlier. Just let it go. There was no fighting the Alpha. Or so I thought.

I inhaled a sharp gasp when I heard what Jacob was thinking. He wouldn't…would he? The more Jacob disputed it in his head, the more I realized that he was right. And Sam was wrong. So what would he do? Who was the true Alpha here?

The entire pack was now waiting on Jacob's next move. Sam was pushing him forward, but Jacob had somehow stopped, ignoring all of Sam's commands.

And then, he strutted over to Sam with no problem. He held his head up high as he looked Sam directly in the eyes and said it. The one word none of us had ever spoken to the Alpha.

_No._


	10. To hell with everyone

_You don't own me, don't try to change me in any way_

_You don't own me, don't tie me down cuz I'll never stay_

_I don't tell you what to say, I don't tell you what to do_

_So just let me be myself, that's all I ask of you_

_"You Don't Own Me"_

_-Lesley Gore_

* * *

**Chapter 10:**

**To hell with everyone**

I watched curiously as Jacob pushed himself out of Sam's Alpha lock. I had never seen any one of the wolves do that. But it made sense. After all, Jacob had inherited the Alpha gene from Ephraim Black. It was his birthright.

_Did he just…_Seth couldn't believe what he had just witnessed.

_He did._ I was stunned.

_I will not follow you, Sam. Ephraim Black's son was not born to follow Levi Uley's,_ Jacob quickly let Sam know that he was no longer following his command.

Sam backed away from Jacob with a yelp. I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing at that. I had never seen Sam Uley go belly up. Oh, this was going to be _fun_ to watch! Better than a daytime soap opera. I sat down and waited for the show to start. I'm sure there was a big, fat grin on my face. And I didn't care who saw it.

Sam didn't seem to know what to do. For once, he looked lost. Jacob had accepted his heritage as an Alpha and there was nothing that Sam could do about it. Watching him squirm was giving me so much satisfaction. Maybe having Jacob lead wouldn't be so bad. He could be annoying, but he was better than Sam.

_Whoa…good for you man,_ Embry praised Jacob.

He got mixed feelings from the rest of the pack. Seth, Collin, and I were the only wolves who watched in silence.

Paul was furious. _What the hell are you doing, Jacob?_

Jared was as well. _Have you forgotten all Sam has done for you_?

_Dude, now is not the time, _Quil said disapprovingly. _I know you're upset, Jake, but this is crossing a line_.

I had to scoff, _Pansy_.

Quil didn't even hear me. They had bigger concerns than dealing with me and my smart mouth.

Brady whined, _I'm confused; what's going on here_?

_What's going on is I am no longer following Sam's rule,_ Jacob had no problem answering Brady's question. Jacob then let out a snarl at Sam. He snarled back.

Sam seemed to have regained his confidence as he stood up to Jacob. They were literally nose to nose, snapping at one another. Sam was pissed that Jacob would betray the pack. I personally didn't see it that way. Sam was just angry that he couldn't control all of us anymore.

Jacob explained again that he wasn't born to follow Sam. Sam wasn't the true Alpha. He was just some…_second-hand reject_. My words, of course, not Jacob's.

Jacob continued to stand up for himself and his beliefs. He told Sam that his days of yanking the choke chain around his neck were done. Right on, Jacob! I rooted for him. When Sam challenged him to a fight for who would be controlling Alpha, Jacob looked surprised.

Cool, if they fought and killed each other, it would be to each their own. Hell, I could be Alpha. I sat up with pride and laughed, _Queen Alpha Leah._

_Sounds like a bad College Sorority,_ Embry joked.

My short lived excitement disappeared after I realized that Jacob did not intend to fight Sam for his spot as Alpha. He was simply going to quit. To run and be with the vampires and protect them. Be their little guard dog. I growled. Why would he subject himself to that?

Oh right, the heartbreaker. I saw an image of a very frail Bella in Jacob's thoughts. He quickly let Sam know that he would protect the little vampire lover until he was dead or dying. Sam snapped at Jacob again

_Holy crap…they're going to kill each other,_ Seth gasped.

Jake stayed calm as Sam snarled in his face. It didn't look like Jacob really wanted to fight. And that's exactly what he told Sam. He wasn't going to fight; he was just simply going to quit. My ears perked up. Could he do that?

_Jake…_Sam croaked out. But it was too late, Jacob was already on the run. He was fading from us fast. It was an odd sensation. Not anything like when we phased. Phasing in and out was like a quick buzz in and then a quick buzz out. But this was slower, more permanent. I didn't like it. Was Jacob really going to be gone from the pack forever? His thoughts faded out slowly as Embry and Quil cried out after their best friend.

Before anyone had a chance to react, Jacob was gone. For a moment, no one said anything. Then I caught a glimpse of what my brother was thinking. Would he have the guts to do it? I lifted my brows at him. I would support him no matter what path he chose; he was my brother.

Seth glanced to where Jacob had disappeared to. He thought about his friendship with the Cullens. I saw a flash of Sam using his Alpha command earlier. And I understood why Seth chose what he was about to do. The entire pack had picked up on it. It's not like he'd made it a secret.

_Seth_…_don't_, Sam said with a warning tone in his voice.

But it was no use, Seth had made his decision. And while I couldn't agree with the reasons he had decided this, I knew it's what he wanted. So I supported him. I didn't argue for him to stay.

_Goodbye, Sam._ Seth stood up and lunged forward.

_Come on, kid, seriously?_ Sam couldn't believe it. His pack was falling apart.

I watched as my brother turned tail and ran away. I listened closely as Seth's thoughts faded just as Jacob's had. As I felt my brother fading out of my head, I started to wonder…could anyone follow Jacob's lead? Did you have to _want_ to follow him, or was it enough to just want to be out from under Sam's command?

I pondered what my next move should be. Seth had truly wanted to follow Jacob's lead. I, on the other hand, just wanted to be away from Sam. God, I hope I knew what I was doing.

Fortunately, the others were in such a state of shock that no one seemed to be listening to what I was thinking. They were too busy howling and carrying on to notice that I, too, was plotting an escape. I just wouldn't make it as dramatic as Jacob.

_It seems as if the plans have once again changed._ Sam tried to form another plan in his head. _This is a first. I think I'll consult with the Elders before we proceed._ He paused. _Until then, we are just going to patrol normally and meet back here tomorrow morning._

Was he kidding? Patrol _normally_? After everything that had just happened, he expected us to go about like nothing had happened?

That really ticked me off. _Can I go home, Sam_?

He looked at me curiously. _After the run_.

_Come on, my brother took off. I need to tell my mom what's going on._

_I'll make sure everyone is aware of the situation. That's my job. Stop trying to control everything and just do what I say._

_Asshole_.

Sam split everyone up. He took Quil. He put together Collin and Jared, Brady and Paul, and Embry and I. We stayed pretty close to each other. I could hear Paul's soft footpads hitting the ground a few yards away from where Embry and I were running.

The pack stayed quiet for the duration of the run. Even though he didn't say anything aloud, Sam was in excruciating pain. He had lost two members of his pack tonight. And he was getting ready to lose me, too. I tried to occupy my thoughts with anything other than turning traitor and running to Jacob and Seth. Of course, I wasn't the only one thinking about our two missing members.

_How could they just take off like that_? Quil questioned.

_They've lost sight of what's important. Jacob is so blinded by rage right now that all he can think about is protecting Bella. And Seth has befriended the vampires. He can't see how dangerous they are._ Sam came up with excuses.

That was the best he could manage? I thought he would come up with something far less generic than _that_. But with Sam, it was always _vampire equals bad_.

_How dangerous are they? I mean, really_? I frowned.

Yes, I hated vampires. Yes, I wanted to kill them. It was in my blood. But in all honesty, the Cullens had never done anything to warrant an attack from their…_allies_. It was hard for me to think of us in that respect. But so far, the treaty had not been breached. No one had been bitten. No one had died.

_Guess someone's a little chicken,_ Paul snapped at me.

_Why don't you come over here and say that to my face_? I felt the rage boiling.

_We will not fight amongst ourselves,_ Sam ordered.

Well, now was as good a time as any to test whether or not I could fight back. I fought every urge in my body from listening to Sam, and I let out another snarl at Paul.

_Well, what are you waiting for you sissy_? I urged Paul to continue fighting with me. Paul's jaw was locked. He'd given in to Sam.

_Leah, that's enough,_ Sam snapped at me.

I fought back harder. Hmm, this wasn't so hard. It didn't take him long to figure out that he had lost control of me. He quickly tried to gain it back.

_I said knock it off. Don't make me…_

_Don't make you what? Put me in my place?_ I snorted, _Are you going to attack me, Sam? Put me in a throat hold? Take away my will_? I shook my head, _If that's the case, then you might as well just kill me, because I'm done. I am done taking orders from you. I'm not going to let you command my life anymore._

Well, so much for my exit not being dramatic.

_Leah… _Sam eyed me. He knew what I was thinking.

_Sorry, Sam,_ I shrugged. But really, I wasn't sorry. I think he probably knew that.

_Don't do this to us. Don't do this to me,_ he begged.

To_ him_? Seriously? He was the one who left me; imprinted on Emily. And he was begging me not to leave _him_? No, he didn't get to control me like that. He couldn't have us both.

_You had your chance with me._ I had to get out while I still could. Before he could guilt me into staying with the pack.

_Do you really want to follow Jacob?_

_It's better than following you._

Sam continued to scold me, _How do you know it will be any better?_

_Because it has to be._ I had never been optimistic before. But anything had to be better than following Sam's rule. It was worth a shot. Sam pushed, and I pushed back. I could feel his hold over me loosening. I continued to push forward, thinking of protecting my brother and being away from Sam and his thoughts.

That was the only motivation I needed to break away from the pack and take off in a different direction. I could hear howling as I disappeared. I could tell by the pitch and tone that it was Embry. He was the only one in the pack I could even remotely stand.

And I knew that he was stuck. He wouldn't pull away from Sam. He couldn't. I let out a sigh. First his best friend had abandoned him and had taken Seth with him, and now I was leaving. He was the only one stuck in a losing battle. He didn't want to fight the vampires any more than Jacob did. He just put on a tough show for the rest of the wolves.

_Come on, you can't leave me,_ Embry begged.

_So then come with us._

_You know I can't do that,_ Embry didn't have the guts to push past Sam. He wasn't as dedicated to the vampires as Jacob and Seth were. And he didn't hate Sam as much as I did.

_It's really not that hard…_

_Stop it,_ Sam was furious.

_You're just mad. You'll cool down and get over it._ Embry didn't seem willing to let me go. I huffed. He hadn't caused this much of a fuss when Jacob and Seth took off, and they were the two people he actually _cared_ about.

_I won't. Sorry, Call_. This time I meant it when I said I was sorry.

Sam shouted at me, one last time to try and change my mind, _You won't be happy, Leah._

_I was never happy, Sam_. The faster I ran, the more I felt Sam and the pack fading away, but not completely. I had gotten about three-fourths of the way home before I phased back. I had taken the first step. I wasn't completely separated from them yet, but I was on my way.

I jogged the rest of the way home on two legs. I tried to start forming a plan. I was part of Jacob's pack now. Whether or not he knew it, I'm not sure. My first order of business would be to grab a change of clothes or two and then make my way out to the Cullen's place. I don't know how long we would be out there, so I needed to choose something comfortable and durable.

When I arrived home, I took a deep breath before going through my front door. I hadn't thought about what I was going to say to my mother. No doubt Sam had called to tattle on all his little runaways. I opened the door and found no one home.

"Sweet." That was a run of good luck. It would be much easier now that I didn't have to explain what was going on to my mother. I'm sure she would have a lot to say about Seth and I leaving the pack to be with Jacob and protecting our _enemies_.

I dashed into my room and started tearing through my drawers, trying to find clothes that I could easily roll up against my leg and the bungee cord.

I glanced at the clock. _Two_? When had 2 AM rolled around? I guess I had been out longer than I realized.

I quickly scribbled a note to my mother explaining what was going on. If Sam hadn't already called her with the dilemma, she deserved to know where her kids were at.

As I was rushing out the front door, I collided with something twisted and hard. I smacked my shins against a cold bar of some kind.

"Son of bitch!" Even though the bruise was already healing, it still hurt.

I looked at the unidentified object. My heart nearly leaped into my chest when I saw a dark figure illuminated in the moonlight. The object that I had hit was a wheelchair. As my eyes quickly adjusted, I felt relief wash over me.

Billy. So Sam _had_ gotten in touch with the Elders already.

I knew why Billy was here. For the longest time, I just stared into the darkness, waiting for him to say something.

This was not going to be a fun conversation.


	11. Lalalala, not listening

_I close my eyes when I get to sad_

_I think thoughts that I know are bad_

_Close my eyes and I count to ten_

_Hope it's over when I open them_

_"Wonderful"_

_-Everclear_

* * *

**Chapter 11: **

**Lalalalala…not listening…**

I flipped on the porch light so we could see each other. Billy noticed the clothes that I had tethered around my ankles.

He let out a laugh.

"I told him you would go through with it." He shook his head. "He thought you were just blowing off steam. Figured you were running home to tell your mom about everything."

"What are you talking about?" I wasn't sure how much Sam had shared with Billy.

"Sam called me a bit ago. He was pretty upset. Said you were going renegade. Explained to me about Seth and Jacob abandoning the pack."

"They're not abandoning the pack; they're fighting for what they believe in," I disagreed.

"And what is it that _you_ believe in, Leah?" Billy questioned.

I still wasn't sure about that. I knew that attacking the Cullens was wrong. But I also knew that letting that Omen child develop wasn't right either. I didn't feel the need to explain myself to Billy Black. It's not like he was my father. I just changed the subject.

"Where's my mom?"

"With Charlie. He's pretty torn up right now," Billy said. I saw his face scrunch seriously. "It's mighty risky…what Bella is doing."

"Downright idiotic," I agreed.

"Then why are you rushing to protect them?"

I sighed. I couldn't answer him. I didn't know the answer. I just knew that I wanted to be free of Sam.

Billy continued softly, "I told Sam that I would talk to you. He figured that you might change your mind if you thought about it first. He's not as worried as he should be."

"Oh?" Well la-dee-freakin-dah. Ask me how much I _didn't_ care.

"Well, on account that he could still hear your thoughts up until you phased, he seems to think that you're just venting." He paused, "But, I think you're planning something more serious."

He was right on both accounts. The pack was still in my mind before I phased back. They weren't as strong, but they were there. Consciously, I had made my decision, but my subconscious hadn't accepted it yet.

"So that's why you're here? To tell me I'm making the wrong choice?"

He shook his head, "You're confused. Hurt. Angry." Billy tried to take a stab at how I was feeling. "You aren't thinking clearly."

But for once, I wasn't hurt. I _wasn't_ angry or confused. I had never been thinking _more_ clearly. I just stayed silent, seeing where Billy was going with this.

"I expected this from Jacob. And Seth doesn't surprise me, given his friendship with the Cullens. But you?" Billy was surprised at my abandon. He frowned, "You and Sam…you've been through so much."

"Which is _exactly_ why I have to get out." I couldn't stay silent anymore. He had to understand that this wasn't just about the Cullens. I frowned in frustration.

Billy looked down at the ground. "You know there's no control over it…" He referred to imprinting.

Of course he would defend Sam. Because Sam apparently never did anything wrong. He was the god damn Golden Child of La Push.

"Don't you even think about bringing up imprinting, Billy, or I swear to God I'll wheel you into the middle of a busy intersection and leave you there." I let my anger get the better of me. And I immediately regretted it.

Billy understood my emotional outburst. He just nodded sympathetically. Wow, he really knew how to make me feel like shit. Couldn't he just yell at me or something?

"Sorry," I huffed. "It's been a rough night."

"So I hear."

Which brought up the question, "Why are you here exactly? To force me back into the pack?"

"I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to. I know all too well what it's like to be under someone else's power." He patted the side of his wheelchair.

I guess he did have to rely on other people more often than he would like to admit because of his circumstances.

"I'm only here to make sure you understand all sides of things before you make your decision."

Before I could tell him that my decision was already made, he held his hand up and interrupted me.

"Just hear me out, okay? I told Sam I'd talk to you, and that's what I'm going to do. I know you don't want to hear this, but _he_ seems to think that I can talk some sense into you." He let out a boisterous laugh. "Don't know how much good I'll do. You always were stubborn, even when you were little." He let out a softer laugh this time. "I remember when your father tried to teach you how to ride a bike. When he steadied the handlebars, you pushed him away and were adamant that you could do it _all by yourself_."

I felt a sudden twinge of sadness, recalling my dad. I remembered that day vividly. I was the most independent five-year-old on the block. My parents had bought me a brand new bike because I was jealous of how much attention Seth was getting. I felt like the forgotten child because I didn't understand that babies required a lot of attention.

So, my dad helped me pick out a bike. One without training wheels, because I wanted to be a big girl. But when he tried to help me learn to ride it, I pushed him away. Because big girls didn't need their daddy's help.

That's what my problem was. I didn't know how to let people help me. And I was constantly getting hurt because of it.

"I fell over." I recalled what had happened when I wouldn't let my father help me.

Billy smiled warmly at me, "But you got back up without so much as whimper." He reminded me. "And you learned how to ride that bike." He laughed. "You used to torture Jake with it. I would catch you riding circles around him and stealing his cookies."

"God, I was such a terrible child." I couldn't help but laugh. Damn Billy for making me forget how pissed I was. But, I guess that's why Sam had sent him. Billy knew my weaknesses. All he had to do was mention my father and that was enough to turn my attention away from the matter at hand.

I really, _really_ missed him. I wished that my daddy was here to help this "big girl" now.

"Let me ask you something, Billy. Who do _you_ think is right? Sam or Jacob?"

At first he didn't say anything. I figured he wouldn't answer that. It was one of those impossible questions with no right answer. Or, so I thought.

"Whatever is festering inside of Bella can't be good. It's monstrous. And as much as I love Charlie _and_ his daughter, and don't want to see them hurt, I'm inclined to believe that Sam is acting correctly. It needs to be destroyed."

He would side with Sam Uley over his own son? I was completely shocked. It could not have been an easy thing for him to admit.

Billy explained further, "As much as my son believes that he is doing this for the right reasons, his love for Bella is blinding him and clouding his judgment." He deliberated for a moment and let out a sigh. "I always taught him to follow his heart."

_Well, that was stupid_. Fortunately the filter in my brain caught that before I muttered it aloud to Billy. Well, it was good to know that I still _had_ a filter in my brain. Where the hell was it five minutes ago when I was threatening to push Billy into traffic?

"If Jacob can follow his heart, why can't I?"

"This isn't what you want." Billy shook his head.

Being away from Sam? Yeah, it was. In fact, I don't think I had ever wanted anything more.

"Go back to where you belong," Billy begged. "To the pack." _To Sam._ I knew that's exactly what he was thinking. He sighed, "So you fell off the bike, Leah. Get back on."

What a ridiculously cheesy, adult thing to say. I shook my head. I wasn't going to listen to stupid analogies or childhood comparisons. This was different. I was reminded of Jacob standing up to my _former_ Alpha. And the word quickly came to my lips as well.

"No."

Billy didn't get angry like I expected him to. Instead he offered me a suggestion.

"Tell you what, the pack is meeting tomorrow morning, right?" He watched as I nodded my head in silence. "Why don't you sleep on it? Go and meet them tomorrow. And if you still feel this way after the meeting, then you'll know that you do belong with Jacob and Seth."

Go to the meeting tomorrow morning? I frowned. There was no way I could pull away from Sam again. Once was hard enough. I had to fight with every fiber of my being to ignore his commands. I couldn't go and see the pack and then just take off again. This ploy had "Sam" written all over it. He must have told Billy to convince me in any way that he could to get me to come back to the pack. Then he could regain his command over me. I wasn't fooled.

I looked into Billy's eyes, pleading for me not do turn my back on the Quileutes. I knew the only way out of this was to lie. I bit down hard on my tongue. Lying to Billy felt so _wrong_, especially about this. But if Sam was going to play dirty, then so was I.

"Okay. Did Sam say when they were meeting?" I had skipped out before we had set a definite time.

"An hour after sunrise," Billy nodded.

Perfect. I just had to leave my house in a few hours, after Billy had gone home, and meet up with Seth and Jacob at sunrise. Then, there would be no turning back. Once I was with my brother and his new leader, I would be free of Sam Uley once and for all.

"Well, I guess I'd better get some sleep then." I tried to send Billy on his way. He raised his eyebrows suspiciously at me. I let out a comforting laugh. "Relax, Billy, I'm not going anywhere tonight."

That much was true. I had to make sure he was completely out of the picture before I snuck away. After a moment of deliberation, Billy decided that he believed me. Or at least he wasn't going to call me on my lie.

"You'll do the right thing," Billy said. I don't know if he was trying to convince me or himself. "You're a good kid, Leah."

A good kid? Yeah. Mouthing off to the pack leader, fighting with the other wolves, and lying to an Elder. I should get a freaking medal.

"Need a ride home?"

He shook his head as he wheeled away. I guessed that he had someone waiting on him further down the road. Someone who didn't have the balls to come and talk to me himself. Sam must have figured I would respond better to Billy than I would to him. He wasn't wrong. Because if Sam had been the one that showed up on my doorstep, I wouldn't have been able to run fast enough.

I paused as I shut the door. I took a second to deliberate what I would do next. Sam knew that I was serious. And now that he had Billy on his side, this was going to be much harder. He knew that. He was using the people I cared about against me. I gritted my teeth together in anger.

I collapsed into my bed in exhaustion and set my alarm for two hours. That would give me enough time to get some rest and make sure that Billy and his cohort were really gone.

As I laid on my bed trying to fall asleep, I wrestled with my frustration. Sam didn't really care about me. He just didn't want to lose another pack member. I was nothing more to him than a soldier. Why was he was mad that I was leaving? He's the one who didn't want me around in the first place. And that's fine, because I didn't _want_ to be around. I was tired of following my ex-boyfriend around like some love-sick puppy. I knew I was making the right decision.

But that still didn't help me sleep any better.


	12. I hope I know what I'm doing

_And this life sentence that I'm serving_

_I admit that I'm every bit deserving_

_But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair_

_Cuz I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity_

_I've been locked inside that house, all the while you hold the key_

_And I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of me_

_And even though there's no way of knowing where to go, promise I'm going_

_Cuz I gotta get outta here_

_"Be My Escape"_

_-Relient K_

* * *

**Chapter 12:**

**I hope I know what I'm doing…**

When the alarm blared in my ears two hours later, I threw it into the wall across the room. I don't know why I had tried to sleep. Experience had taught me that when I tried to sleep when I was wound up, I usually woke up feeling worse than if I hadn't slept in days.

I was stiff as a board and my head was pounding. I groaned and rolled out of bed. I fumbled through my bedroom, lit only by the fading moonlight from outside my window. I think I was grumpier now than when I had gone to sleep.

I glanced out my window. I couldn't sense anyone outside. I decided that I would keep the lights out just in case someone was watching. Better to be neurotic and overly concerned than to not take this serious enough.

I grabbed the clothes that I had picked out before Billy showed up on my doorstop, and then made my way into the kitchen. The note that I had left for mom was still tucked underneath a vase on the counter. She was probably still with Charlie. Some people might find it a little uncomfortable when their mother stayed out at a guy's house. But I was glad that my mom was comforting Charlie at a time when he needed her. He had done the same for her after my father passed. He was a good guy, eyebrows and all.

I looked at a picture of my family that was hanging on the wall. It was taken before Seth and I were wolves, when my dad was still around. We all looked so happy. So much had changed. I took one last look at my family and then shuffled out the back door.

I had to avoid phasing for the moment. I needed to be far enough away when the pack realized I was _really_ leaving. Once I got close to the Cullen's land, I would phase...let Jacob know that I was loyal to _him_ now. Wow, that sounded weird. Leah Clearwater following Jacob Black.

I decided that it would be best to trek out to the Cullen's on foot. If I stuck to the busiest streets, I knew that no one in the pack would risk exposure to try and talk to me. It wouldn't be long before they realized that I was being serious when I bolted last night.

I grumbled. It would take longer to get there on two feet, but I didn't have a better idea. As I weaved through the roads that I had grown up on, I took in the sights around me. Who knows how long it would be before I saw this town again? Maybe after all this was over, I'd never come back. It's not like there was anything left for me here. Besides, as long as Sam stuck around, I didn't want to be anywhere _near_ here.

I got to the boundary line a little after sunrise. Perfect timing. I couldn't have planned this better. I was praising myself for my job well done. The only thing left to do now was phase.

Using the woods for cover, I slowly started shedding my clothes. Usually it didn't take me long to get undressed, but I felt a certain uneasiness as I got ready to phase. I had never been nervous to change before.

_It won't be any different_. I told myself. Okay, now I was officially lying again. It would be _completely_ different. I started wondering if this would work. After all, last night Sam was still in my head. But that was before I had declared for certain that this is what I was going to do.

I had questions racing through my mind. Was this all in vain? Would I still be linked to the pack? Was I really prepared to fight them if it came down to that? Would Jacob even accept me, or would I just go back to being unwanted all the way around?

I geared myself up, mumbling that I was doing this for many reasons. The most believable reason would be Seth. Yes, I would use my brother as an excuse. It was true that I didn't want anything to happen to him. He was my kid brother. Hopefully that would be as strong a case as any for Jacob to let me into his pack.

Then, I cut my thoughts off completely. It was time to do this. As I started sprinting forward, I let the wolf out. I raced through the forest in silence.

So far, so good. There was no pack in my head. I could feel Seth and Jacob, but no one else. And just like that…I was free. Free from the seven other wolves in my head. But most importantly, free from Sam.

I felt Jacob snap out of a deep sleep and I heard Seth stop dead in his tracks. Well, they knew now.

_Morning, boys_. _Didja miss me_? I laughed at myself. Of course they didn't miss me. Jacob couldn't stand me, and Seth was my brother. I could hear the resentment in Seth's head. I couldn't help but be a sister. _Oh, come on, you know you love me_.

_Just great. _Seth let out an irritated howl. I smiled. So I had done it. I had really pulled myself completely from the pack.

_Go away, Leah. _I had never been so happy in my life to hear my brother's grumbling.

God, he could be such a baby sometimes. I bet I was the last person they expected to come running through the trees. Neither of them looked happy to see me.

_Aw, put some smiles on those faces. It's not like it's the end of the world._

_Of course it is. You're here._ My brother was unusually hostile. Had to say that one stung. I tried to shrug it off. Jacob bared his teeth at me, and I instinctively took a step back. He _was_ the Alpha now. I had to fall in line. Jacob read my conflicting thoughts.

_What are you doing here, Leah_?

How stupid was he? It was pretty obvious what I was doing here. I glanced at the big house I had last visited at the wedding. I shuddered just thinking about it. But here I was, willingly domesticating myself to become a common _housepet_ for a group of vampires.

Jacob shook his head. _You're not staying. It's enough that Seth is here._ Then he threatened to tear out…some part of my body. I didn't pay attention to him. I had half-expected him to react this way, so I was prepared.

_You know, Jake, I'm not afraid of you. It's kind of hard to take you seriously when I know that up until a year ago, you still slept with a nightlight._

Jacob's jaw dropped and he raised his hackles.

_Go home, Leah. Turn around and go back home_.

_Make me_. I pushed my luck.

_I WILL take you down in front of your brother._ He didn't sound nearly as threatening as Sam.

I shrugged. _Like you could catch me._ I leaned forward in a playful manner. _Wanna race, O fearless leader_?

He looked like he was about to scream, but instead he just huffed angrily, _Wouldn't be any point. You'd kick my ass, and you know it_. He faced Seth. _Why don't you tell the Cullens that your stupid sister has decided to join our ranks?_

Seth obediently raced towards the house. I was a little taken aback that Jacob was letting him go into the vampire's nest all alone.

_He's a big boy. He can take care of himself_. Jacob heard my thoughts. _Besides, I think he'd rather risk spending time with the leeches than to sit here and listen to you flapping your jaw._

That burned me.

_Why don't you just shut up, Jacob?_ I immediately remembered my place and tried to recover, _Crap, uh, I mean…shut up, Oh most high and mighty Alpha._

_Not bad._ Jacob laughed. _Maybe you should bow down and kiss my feet, too._

I rolled my eyes. Well, at least he was accepting me...I think. He frowned at me and asked me what I was doing here. I glanced to where Seth had run off to. As far as Jacob knew, I was doing this for my brother.

_Seth's naïve. I figured you've kind of got your hands full with…things…_ I wasn't sure how to go about tiptoeing around the fact that Bella was dying. _I'm here to watch after my brother. Do you think I want him to end up as some chew toy for the vampires?_

_You never were the protective older sister. Why start now_?

_Because he's my brother, Jacob_. I growled. _And because you led him out here on a suicide mission._

_I didn't lead him anywhere. He chose to follow me. Much like you chose to follow him. Truth is, Seth doesn't need your protection._

_Right, he's got his hero for that_. I glared at Jacob. Seth had always seen Jacob as someone to look up to. He worshiped the ground Jake walked on.

_Just go away, Leah. No one wants you here_.

I tried to hide how much that hurt. I snorted sarcastically and put on my arrogant mask to hide the sadness. Jacob and Seth didn't want me. Sam didn't want me. I was just an unloved loser.

Jacob shook his head. _I didn't mean it like that_. He paused and then glanced at me sideways. _So I take it that this isn't about Seth at all_?

_He's part of it._ I was vague about the part where I was free of Sam. He looked at me like he didn't trust me. He was starting to wonder if this was some kind of trap set by Sam.

_Don't be an idiot, Jacob…I mean, Oh great and merciless Alpha._ I shrugged. _Think about it. Would you be able to hear me if I was still loyal to Sam? My allegiance is no longer with him._

He examined my thoughts further, and I let him. He needed to see that this was real. It wasn't a trick. He laughed sarcastically, much like I had when I'd heard how ridiculous it sounded that I was following him now.

_You're…loyal to me now_?

_Don't go getting all excited. I didn't have much to choose from. You just happened to be the lesser of the two evils_.

_Gee, thanks,_ Jacob rumbled. He pushed deeper into my thoughts. He could tell that I was more excited about this than I was letting on. It was weird that Jacob was reading my mind. He had never cared what I was thinking before. I guess maybe he found it intriguing that I was lighter now without Sam's burden holding me down. He pushed a little too far as he read some of my thoughts about Sam, so I started to push back.

Seth caused a nice little diversion as he explained in his mind what was going on to Edward.

_Yeah, so, apparently God hates me, because my sister showed up this morning._ Seth prattled to Edward. His expression didn't change as he listened to Seth's ranting. I was tense with Seth being around a vampire by himself. Seth continued, _Since Leah's insisting on staying, it looks like you've got another set of eyes and ears…_

I growled. I really didn't like to think that I was working for the vampires. It was so degrading.

_And the pack is down to seven now, so chances of them attacking anytime soon are pretty slim._ Seth glanced at Edward for a reaction. Nothing. The cold dead face was like an expressionless pit of despair. Edward gave Seth a nod and then disappeared back into the house.

_Wow, he's looking pretty rough._ Jacob noted.

_Yeah, he looks really bad_. Seth agreed.

Once Seth reached us, I quickly asked for an explanation to everything that was going on. Jacob refused at first, telling me that I didn't belong here. Well, I sure as hell didn't belong in La Push either.

_Leah, you don't like me and I don't like you._ Jacob shook his massive head.

_Oh, but Jacob, I had this dream that we would one day become lovers and have lots of babies together_. I mouthed off. I saw him cringe and take a step backwards. Wow, I was _that_ repulsive, huh? Ouch.

_I just meant that you know you don't want to be here. You hate vampires._

_So?_

_Conflict of interest. _Jacob pointed out.

_Oh, like you and Edward Cullen are BFF's?_ I shrugged._ I can help and not have to be near them. I can run patrols. Isn't that what you have Seth doing?_

He scoffed. He still didn't trust me. I figured it was time to let him know that I was _serious_ about joining this pack. _I will NOT betray my pack._

Jacob tossed his head in the air and started pacing in circles. He really had not wanted a pack. All he wanted was to break away from Sam and do what he felt was right. He hadn't anticipated anyone being loyal to him.

_There must be something in your blood. You freaking Clearwaters are annoying as hell. Why don't you just leave me alone?_ He frowned and then sighed, _How do I know you won't just change your mind if something pisses you off? I mean, at least Seth is dedicated to the cause. He'll never surrender._ Jacob continued to eye me suspiciously.

_Please, I don't even know the meaning of the word._ I referred to "surrender."

_Along with most of the other words in the English language._ Jacob rolled his eyes.

_See? Isn't this fun_? I grinned.

Jacob took a moment to deliberate and then faced Seth.

_You might be going home, kid._ He looked at me and then my brother. _As much help as you've been, if you and Leah are a package deal, I think I'm going to have to return you both_.

I saw Seth hang his head sadly and then he glared angrily at me.

_God, Leah, you ruin everything_.

_Since the day that I was born,_ I sighed. _I know._ Man, did I know. There was nothing about my life that _wasn't_ tainted. Everything I touched turned to crap.

I could feel both Jacob's and Seth's unwilling sympathy for me. Well, if they were feeling bad for me, at least they might let me stay.

Seth quickly backtracked his hateful feelings and told Jacob that I really wasn't so terrible. He turned back into his optimistic self when he started telling Jacob all the _good_ things about me being here. I was surprised that there _was_ any good.

Jacob didn't seem to want to accept that he was leading a pack. He knew that by getting rid of Seth, he would get rid of me. I laughed silently to myself. Yeah, that's what _he_ thought. Even if he did send Seth away, I wasn't going anywhere. I could not go back to Sam. Not after this feeling of regaining my free-will. I would not lose my freedom. Sam would always and forever have my heart, but he didn't have control over me anymore. I let my thoughts drift away from me and nearly bit through my tongue when I realized that Jacob had heard everything.

_I thought this was about Seth_.

I looked at Seth, who, by some miracle, had completely missed what I was thinking. Thank God for his short attention span.

_Of course it's about Seth._ I fumbled.

_Is it really about him, or is this about getting away from Sam?_

Well, part of it _was_ about getting away from Sam. But I didn't have to talk to him about that. These were _my_ personal feelings, and I had no obligation to talk to him about them. I was here to be part of his pack. Period. End of story.

_You and Sam have been through a lot together…_ Jacob pointed out.

I grunted. Why did everyone keep saying that? Just because I had a history with him didn't mean I belonged with him. Our history meant nothing to me.

_So...you're really willing to become a lapdog for the vampires_? he questioned.

I would rather die than admit that. But this is where I belonged. The only other option I had was to kill myself. Even if I did get my hands on a gun, with my luck, I'd probably end up shooting myself in the foot and permanently disfiguring my toes.

_I feel for you, I really do_. I could tell that he was telling the truth. _But, Leah, look…_

_No, you look, Jacob, this is my choice. Just stop arguing with me because you aren't going to change my mind. I will NOT go back to Sam. Not after I've experienced what it's like to be without him. I'm done being the dopey little ex-girlfriend that Sam can't stand. I can't stop loving him, Jacob, but I can damn sure cut him out of my life._

I watched as Jacob deliberated in his head. He sympathized with me. In fact, he was impressed that I was able to leave Sam when he couldn't even break himself away from Bella.

He grumbled something to Seth about killing me. I think he was joking, it was hard to tell. But then, he accepted me into his pack.

_Finally_, I belonged somewhere…


	13. Let me tease the hell out of you

_I could be wrong, cuz I could never live with me before you came along_

_You made me whole, crept into through the window of my soul_

_This disease brings me to my knees_

_This disease kills me by degrees_

_Everybody gets what they deserve_

_"Everybody gets what they deserve"_

_-The Churchills_

* * *

**Chapter 13:**

**Let me tease the hell outta you**

After Jacob and Seth had gotten a few more licks in teasing me, they asked me to fill them in on what they had missed.

There really wasn't much to tell. They left; Sam was speechless; Paul was an ass; I blew up and ran away. I left out my talk with Billy. I didn't figure it was of any importance.

_Just like any other day in the pack,_ Seth laughed.

_Sam rescheduled the fight. They were supposed to meet again this morning. I don't think they're completely aware that I've gone renegade, too. I mean, if mom hasn't found my note_…

_Ah crap, you told mom?_ Seth cried. _If I ever go home, I'm going to be grounded til I'm thirty._

_I didn't talk to her personally. Once I got home, I weighed the pros and cons of turning traitor. In the end, I knew that protecting Seth_, I saw Seth roll his eyes at the notion that he needed protection, _and…other things_… I thought of being free of Sam, _was a no brainer. Then I left a note for mom. She was with Charlie._ I don't know why I felt the need to explain where she was. She was an adult. I shook my head. _Sam probably still doesn't know where I am. He probably thinks I'm still asleep._ I felt a laugh building in my throat. _He's going to be pissed._ I listened closely to see if I could hear howling in the west.

_I can imagine,_ Jacob nodded. _I'm sure he's got a few choice words for me_.

Well, now that they were up to speed, I sat down and waited on what we would do next. Both Seth and I looked at Jacob for our orders. He shuffled uncomfortably. He wasn't used to leading, nor did he actually _want_ to.

After a moment, he came up with a plan. _We'll just keep an eye out for now. That's all we can do_. Well, at least it was an easy plan. I was really beat. The not sleeping was starting to catch up with me.

Jacob noticed my fatigue. _Geeze, you look like you're about to pass out. Why don't you take a nap_?

I could tell that Jacob was just about as worn down as I was. He'd probably had as much sleep, if not less, than I had. _I will if you will. You look like crap, Jake._

_I can't afford a luxury like sleep right now. _I saw a picture of Bella flash through his head. I growled. Even though I was a part of Jacob's pack now didn't mean I hated Bella any less.

_I'm the Alpha here,_ Jacob reminded me. _I thought you were going to do what I told you to._

I had wondered how long it would be before he brought that up. I had to give him credit, he'd gone longer than I thought before shoving it in my face. Jacob telling me what to do was going to get old.

_Well, you know. Whatever. I don't really care_. Honestly, I _was_ craving some rest. But I don't know if I was about ready to crash yet. I think part of it stemmed from not wanting to listen to Jacob. The other part was the fact that I was still wound up from not having Sam in my head.

Seth piped in, eager to show Jacob that he was ready and willing to do whatever he wanted him to. _I'm not tired at all. I can run the border_.

I snickered. Little suck up.

Jacob didn't order Seth to do anything. He just shrugged and told us he was going to check with the Cullens. Man, I could get used to Jake being Alpha. He seemed pretty lenient. It would be a nice change of pace.

Seth leaped forward into the forest, trying to prove to Jacob that he wasn't bluffing. He really _would_ run the perimeter. He was making me look bad. I figured I had an hour or two of running left in me before I completely succumbed to my exhaustion. I could _easily_ lap Seth. I raced after him and quickly passed him.

_Ah man, Leah, why do you always have to show me up_? Seth whined.

I heard Jacob pondering how much his life had changed in the past twenty four hours. I could tell that he was still annoyed that I was here. He started running through the list of who Sam still had in his pack and tried to figure out who he'd _rather_ have followed him. Embry was first on the list. Quil was on it too.

_But am I still less annoying than Paul_? I questioned.

_I don't know_.

_He imprinted on your sister,_ I reminded him.

I could hear him fuming about that.

_I'll try to stay less annoying than Paul. That can be my goal._

_Not really a hard goal. Anyone is better than Paul,_ he shrugged. _But keep working at it._ He phased out.

Seth did his best to keep up with me. I heard him grumbling to himself about what an annoying pain in the ass I was. The feeling was mutual. But even my brother's foul mood couldn't bring my spirits down. I felt like a giant weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.

After a while, I broke away from Seth and made my way back to the Cullen's place. Jacob still hadn't phased back yet, so I was going to see what he was up to.

When the house was in my view, I slowed my pace. I could see Jacob slumped on the front steps of the giant mansion. Carlisle was at his side. They were discussing Bella's condition. Jacob's eyes were glazed over. He looked even worse when he was human. I wasn't able to see the bags under his eyes when he was a wolf, but now that he was human, he looked so vulnerable. His bronze skin couldn't hide the growing circles under his eyes.

That got me thinking about my brother. _Exactly how much sleep have you had, Seth_?

_More than you and Jacob, that's for sure_. Seth could see the picture of Jacob in my mind.

_Just don't push yourself too hard. Sleep is important._

_You sound like mom._

_And since she's not here, you can get used to it. You're still only fifteen years old_.

_I'll be sixteen in a few months_. I didn't have to see his face to know that he was pouting.

_Yeah, because sixteen is oh, so mature._ I rolled my eyes.

Truth was, Seth_ was_ actually pretty mature for his age. He had always been very balanced and level-headed. But I wouldn't be his big sister if I didn't bark a few orders at him.

I turned my attention back to Jake and Carlisle. I was surprised that Jake was sitting so closely with a vampire. But, if he was comfortable with any of the vampires, it was Carlisle.

I suddenly felt badly about how just hours ago, I had been planning for a way to destroy the gentle vampire sitting next to my leader.

_Aw, look who's warming up to the Cullens._ Seth teased me.

I grumbled. But I couldn't be mad. I had asked for it by pushing his buttons.

_I'm not saying I like him. I'm just saying that he doesn't seem very…leech-like._

The front door opened and Edward and the blonde bitch stepped out onto the porch. I automatically tensed up. If I were Jacob, I would phase and get the hell out of there. Too many vampires were around.

But he just stared at the vampires surrounding him. Was he getting so used to these monsters that he was actually _comfortable_ around them? I saw him yawn. Or maybe he was just so exhausted that he didn't care.

Then they started talking about _the baby_ this and _the baby_ that. I scoffed. Stupid little vampire baby.

I heard Edward explain that he had overheard something in Jacob's thoughts. I had forgotten that the bloodsucker could do that. That was a bit annoying. It was hard enough having Jacob and Seth in my mind. I couldn't stand the idea that a _vampire_ would be sharing my thoughts as well. Even if I never got close to the controlling douchebag, Jacob would still be phasing in and out, which meant that he would be sharing _my_ thoughts with Edward, even if he didn't mean to.

I listened as Edward talked about feeding Bella blood. _Ew_. His reasoning had something to do with giving the little demon child what it wanted. Yeah, start spoiling the kid now. This little brat was going to be ten times worse than all those out of control kids in today's society. Those squalling children whose parents were too wrapped up in their own little world to discipline their own offspring. God, those people pissed me off to no end. But this thing was going to be much worse than those kids. Because this kid was a monster. And if they couldn't control it now, then by the time the thing was running around, the world would be completely screwed.

Jacob scrunched his nose when Edward went over the plan. I saw the blonde light up with excitement. You would think _she_ was the one having the mutant spawn. I _really_ hated that fake bleached-blonde bimbo.

Jacob looked as repulsed as I felt. He stuttered, "Are you talking about making Bella drink _blood_?"

Well, why not? The whiny brat _wanted_ to be a vampire. This would be perfect practice. I pondered adding something to her bloody cocktail. I wondered if they made a drug to make someone less annoying.

They disappeared into the house and Jacob followed. I couldn't believe that he was going to _watch_ this monstrosity. What was he thinking?

I didn't judge him for very long. My curiosity got the better of me as I tiptoed closer to the house. I just wanted to see if Jacob was okay in the house full of vampires.

_Yeah, keep telling yourself that,_ Seth quipped. I ignored him.

When I got to the window, I saw the entire lot of them gathered around Miss. Center of The Universe, all feeble and crunched up on the couch. The guy who knocked her up was leaning his dead face towards her and holding her hand. She and Jake were talking. I heard my name and my ears perked up.

_Eavesdropping isn't very nice,_ Seth warned me.

_We do it all day, every day. I'll hear it in his head later,_ I shrugged.

Seth knew that he couldn't argue with me. He was still running, his pads softly hitting the ground and creating a constant pitter patter in my brain.

Jacob was telling Bella that I was part of the pack now. She looked stunned. She probably thought it was some kind of ploy so I could get to her and rip her throat out. I wouldn't lie, I would if I could. She looked terrified beyond belief, and that made me feel…well, I couldn't think of a word to describe it. But _giddy_ came to mind.

"Leah hates us," Bella said quietly.

_Hate isn't a strong enough word,_ I mumbled to myself.

And then, Jacob surprised me. He actually defended me…to the girl he loved. I listened in shock as he told Bella that I was part of his pack now, so she should just get used to the idea. Bella didn't look convinced. There was still a hint of fear in her eyes. I wish Jacob would just let her continue to be afraid of me.

"What's that face for?" Jacob had noticed her fright.

"She just…scares me, that's all."

_HA!_ I grinned confidently. She had reason to be afraid of me. But apparently, Jacob didn't think so. He let out a laugh.

"You're afraid of _Leah_?" he questioned. "Last time I checked, the psychopath blonde was your best friend. I'd be a hell of a lot more afraid of _her_ than I would a werewolf."

That blonde did have a certain horror-movie-esque feel about her. Something told me that she had been through a lot. Any little thing could set her off. I wouldn't want to be around when that happened. I could definitely see her going all green and "Hulk" on everyone. 'Arg, Hulk smash. Hulk destroy. Hulk rip apart person who gave her expired coupon for manicure.'

I managed to make Seth chuckle with that one…

Jacob and Bella chatted for a few more minutes. I finally took off when they brought the blood in and she started sucking away at the straw like it was a freaking margarita or something. Yuck. The girl had problems.

I joined Seth again in his run. He had had some time to cool down, so he wasn't as snappy as before. There was a nice peace between us as we ran opposite ends of the border.

For the first time in my life, I didn't _hate_ being a wolf. I felt like this is exactly where I was meant to be. They _wanted_ me around.

_I wouldn't go that far,_ Seth joked.

His sarcasm didn't bother me. After all, he had learned from the best. I let out a chuckle.

_You're sounding more and more like your big sister every day_. I couldn't help but feel a little proud.

_Dear God, help me_, Seth snapped back.

I barked out hysterical laughter.

Seth got serious for a moment. _It's good to hear you laughing again._ He paused. _I was starting to think you'd forgotten how_…

I shrugged. I couldn't believe how much happier I was. I felt like a different person. I quickly remembered that I was protecting vampires and frowned. Still a cynic. Guess I wasn't a _completely_ different person.

My thoughts were interrupted when something in the atmosphere changed. Both of our moods shifted. The air was tense. We could hear the soft noise of feet trotting against the ground.

We weren't alone anymore. Seth and I raised our heads and let out a synchronized howl. God, I hope Jake hadn't passed out watching that joke of a freak show doing blood shots.

Seth and I both had the same thought. I had never really said the word "love" out loud. But, I needed him to know that I _did_ love him...

...Because the footfalls were getting closer.


	14. Bring it on, bitch

_I think you turn, turn the clock, but I don't really know_

_And I can't remember caring for an hour or so_

_Started crying and I couldn't stop myself_

_Started running, but there's no where to run to_

_I sat down on the street, took a look at myself_

_Said, "Where you goin, man. You know the world is headed for hell?"_

_Say your goodbyes if you got someone you can say goodbye to_

_"How far we've come"_

_-Matchbox 20_

* * *

**Chapter 14:**

**Bring it on bitch**

I quickly changed my direction, racing towards where my brother was. Whoever was coming was closer to his end. That made my heart jump into my throat. The pack wouldn't attack him, would they?

Seth answered my thoughts with a confident _No._

I was relieved when I felt Jacob phase. His thoughts were fixed on both the looming attack and Bella. I choked back vomit when I saw Bella chugging down the blood. Ugh, seeing it _once_ was enough. I didn't need a close up from Jake's thoughts.

_Disgusting,_ I grunted.

_She looks better._ Seth was delighted.

We could see from Jake's mind that the blood _had_ done Bella some good. She actually had some color back in her cheeks.

_Whoop-dee-do. I'm so thrilled. The bitch isn't dead yet,_ I grumbled. _Can we focus on the more important matter please?_ I referred to the wolves that were racing towards us.

Jacob snarled softly when I spoke poorly of Bella, but he let it go. He knew our attention needed to be fixed on what was coming.

_What's going on_? Jacob asked for an update on why we'd howled.

_Incoming_. Seth turned his ears slightly. _Three, maybe four._

I listened closely and realized that Seth was right. That didn't seem like a very smart move on Sam's part. Why would he split them up? Was this some weird war tactic? I increased my speed, nearly blowing my lungs out. I didn't care. I wasn't about to watch my brother get ripped to shreds by a group of testy werewolves.

Jacob was impressed with my speed, which only helped me to increase my pace. Even when the other wolves seemed to slow down, I kicked my velocity up a notch.

_What are they doing_? Jacob was as confused as I was about this odd maneuver. The intruding wolves had slowed to a near trot now. There was a slight difference in their approach. Someone had phased.

_Got your back, bro. _I flew through the trees into the clearing where Seth was waiting and slammed on the brakes. I was going so fast that I nearly skidded out, losing my feet from under me. I was able to regain my balance rather quickly.

Jacob wasn't far behind me. He warned Seth and I not to do anything stupid.

_Define __"stupid"_ I toyed with a few ideas.

_If you looked it up in the dictionary, your picture would be next to it,_ Jacob grumbled.

_Ouch._ Good one. I had walked right into that.

I could feel that Seth was starting to get nervous. They were almost right upon us. Jacob assured us that he was just mere moments away. He was starting to get worried that something might happen to the two of us. He tried not to let his thoughts stray to what would happen if they attacked us. I heard him mumble something about castrating anyone who touched Seth and I.

_Aw, look who's getting all paternal_, I teased him.

_Focus, Leah_. Jacob wasn't in the mood to play anymore. I knew that if he didn't get here in time, it would be up to me to keep Seth safe. I quickly let him know that nothing would happen to my brother on my watch.

_Watch yourself, too,_ Jacob warned. _You annoy me, but if something happened to you, I'd…_ He couldn't finish the thought.

_Only three are wolves,_ Seth decided. _One of them phased._

_Nice ears_. Jacob appeared in the clearing. He immediately took point. Both Seth and I were relieved at his presence. Seth quickly jumped to his right side.

Since when had we decided ranks? I thought this wasn't a pack. I grumbled at Jacob's choice for his right hand man. I had been at this longer than Seth.

Jacob just shrugged, _He was here first._

_First come, first serve_, Seth smirked. _Besides, you never got __close__ to being Sam's third in command. Consider this an upgrade._

_Since when is following orders from my kid brother an upgrade_?

_I always was the better child,_ Seth shrugged.

_Hey, Donny, Marie…I hate to interrupt your little family variety hour, but we should probably focus on not getting eaten._ Jacob quieted our bickering. _I don't care who stands where. Just get ready._

_Right. Sorry._ Seth immediately apologized.

They were just a few yards away now. We waited quietly. I looked at Jacob.

_Donny and Marie?_ I questioned. _You know the Osmonds by name?_ I teased him.

_Shut up,_ Jacob growled.

My laughter quieted as soon as Jared came into view a few seconds later. Paul, Quil, and Collin were just a few feet behind him on all fours.

Jacob and I immediately had the same thought: _Where's Embry_? It was odd that Sam had sent Collin instead of someone who actually _knew_ how to fight. The only thing I could think of was that this was some kind of diversion. I faced Jacob.

_Are the Cullens aware of the situation_?

Jacob nodded, _I'm sure Edward has Emmett and Jasper guarding the house._ He didn't seem very confident that Sam would take Embry and Brady to attack the Cullens alone.

_Want me to run the line? Wouldn't take me very long_, I offered.

Jacob shook his head. He didn't want us to split up. The Cullens knew that there was a chance that the others might attack. I felt sick to my stomach thinking of Sam trying something that suicidal. Three werewolves versus seven vampires was a gigantic risk, especially with Brady's lack of fighting experience. He wouldn't do something that stupid, would he? Had my abandonment pushed him over the edge? I cringed thinking of Embry being torn apart by Rosalie or Emmett. Sam would go after Edward himself and possibly send Brady after Alice or Esme. He wouldn't stand a chance. None of them would.

I saw Jacob shudder at my thought as well, but he reassured me, _He wouldn't be that careless, Leah._

_I hope you're right,_ Seth whined.

While we were having our conversation, I could tell that the other three wolves were having a conversation of their own. It was freaky not being in their heads anymore. I tried to guess what they were saying to each other.

Paul was probably calling me a bitch, while Collin just tried to stay calm about everything that was going on. Quil's expression was harder to read. I knew that he was sad. This was hard for him, seeing his best friend defending vampires.

"Okay, before anyone does anything too rash, I just want to wave the white flag here. We're just here to talk." Jared raised his arms passively.

Just to talk? Well, that was better than a battle I guess. But there was still something off about the situation. I didn't like it.

_So, talk_. Jacob just glared at him.

Jared requested for Jacob to phase so they could understand each other. Jacob resisted, still unsure of Jared's intentions. He still wasn't certain that this wasn't a trap of some kind.

Jared seemed to understand Jake's reluctance, "Okay, I get it. You don't trust us," he sighed. "_That's_ the problem. This is not how the pack is meant to be. We want you to come back, Jacob." He glanced at Seth and then me. "_All_ of you."

I glared at Jacob. If he went back to Sam now, I would _kill_ him. I couldn't go back to that life. Not after being able to separate myself from him. Jacob assured me that I had nothing to worry about. Jared continued to scold us for abandoning the pack after a minor disagreement.

_What the hell was __minor__ about that? We didn't overreact! Sam did! He wanted to __attack__ first, and ask questions later_! Seth let out a growl. It was weird to see him so angry.

Jacob quickly cooled him down. _Chill. You ever heard of a poker face?_

_Sorry._ My brother's constant apologizing was going to get old fast.

Jared went on about how Sam was willing to sit down and talk with Jake about everything. Apparently he'd spoken with the Elders…

_Crap, mom's going to freak_, Seth gulped.

Jared said that the Elders were in agreement that it was possible to wait until after Bella gave birth before the attack was imminent.

"An attack now would be pointless," Jared shrugged.

I grinned smugly. They were just pissed that they didn't have the element of surprise on their side anymore. Seth, Jake, and I were the ones with the upper hand now. Jared eased the conversation into how proceeding to kill Bella would not be right. Hmph, I wouldn't go that far. I might be defending her, but I still thought she was an idiot.

"We're not going to do anything for the time being, Jake."

I growled. What a load of crap. Jacob looked at me, a little shocked that I wasn't listening to Jared.

I shook my head. _Come on, we were part of their pack at one time. Don't you remember how they think_? _They've lost the element of surprise, so the next step is to wait for time to take its course. They figure that when Bella dies…_

_If_. Jacob didn't want to accept that that's what was coming.

_Fine, __IF__ Bella dies, then they figure you'll have nothing left. They'll probably let you take point in the attack against the Cullens_. He thought the last words along with me. Our thoughts were completely in sync.

Jacob pondered how much his views had changed. He was worried that if something happened to Bella, then he would lose sight of the emotional attachments he was forming with the vampires. Great, as if Seth loving the leeches wasn't enough. Now Jacob was warming up to them, too.

_I'll remind you of how good they are_, Seth said quietly when Jacob doubted that he would be able to think clearly if Bella died.

"Jacob, I need to know what's going through that head of yours…" Jared was tired of waiting.

Jacob glanced at Jared and started thinking about phasing. I could tell he was uncomfortable phasing in front of me. _You still think you can run the circuit pretty quickly?_ I knew that he only wanted to get rid of me because he was afraid I would get a glimpse of "Jacob Jr."

_Come on, there's nothing to be ashamed of. Besides, it's not like I haven't seen you naked before. It gave me nightmares for months,_ I joked.

_Ah ha, so you __do__ dream about me_, Jacob didn't miss a beat. He rolled his eyes. _This isn't about you seeing my ass, this is about keeping __our__ asses protected._

I leaped forward into the forest, eager to beat my own record. As I raced off, I could hear Jacob thinking about the times that _he_ had seen _me_ naked after I'd lost my temper a few times. I think his exact words were _Not too bad_.

_Ha ha, I'm in your head too,_ I laughed.

Jacob phased back before he had a chance to respond. I watched curiously through Seth's eyes as Jacob and Jared conversed. It wasn't anything new. "We want you back. Blah, blah, blah. You don't belong here. Yada, yada, yada." God, Jared was like a broken record.

I raced forward. At the rate I was going, I was about half-way done already. I felt like I was quicker than the speed of light when I was running as a wolf. As I ran the perimeters, I didn't find anything out of the ordinary. At first, I figured that Sam, Embry, and Collin must be watching from somewhere in the shadows. But I caught a glimpse of a wolf overlooking a cliff. It was Embry. He sighed and let his feet drop from underneath him. He didn't look ready for an attack. He looked more like he was taking a break from all this mess. He laid his head between his massive paws and let out a heavy breath. Nothing to worry about there.

I quickly finished the run and went flying back to Jacob and Seth. I flew through the brush just as Jared was trying to make Seth feel guilty for abandoning our mom. I scoffed right along with Jacob. My mom was probably doing just fine. If anything, she was more pissed than hurt.

Jared glanced at me as I stood protectively in front of my brother. "Leah?"

_Get lost, you asshole,_ I bared my teeth at Jared. I saw Jacob chuckle from the corner of my eye. I tried not to look directly at him since he was being so sensitive about this whole nudity issue.

"Come on, what are you doing? You know you don't belong here." Jared didn't seem at all surprised by my anger. Well, I was apparently predictable.

_Predict this, you overgrown idiot._ I snapped at him.

_Leah, chill_, Seth whimpered and nudged me softly. He glanced at me and then at Jacob. Apparently Jacob had been trying to get me to shut up.

I frowned, _You're the one who didn't want me looking at you_. I shrugged at Jacob.

"So you got her to listen to you. _That's_ impressive," I heard Jared mutter.

"Back off," Jacob threatened.

Cool, Jacob was defending me now. Although, I knew I shouldn't get too excited. Jacob would fight with him about _anything._ He and Jared hadn't always gotten along. Jared had a hard time accepting Jacob when he had become a member of the pack. There was a feeling of resentment between the two of them, though I'd never understood why. I thought maybe it had something to do with the fact that Jake hadn't struggled with all the issues that plagued new werewolves.

And now that I was looking in their direction, getting a _full_ view of both of them, I could see another reason Jared didn't like him. Jake was so much bigger than Jared, in _all_ respects.

I looked at Jacob to let him know that I wouldn't disobey him, and then averted my eyes to try and be polite. I think the last thing Jacob wanted to see when he phased back was me thinking about his _attributes_, noticeably his tallywacker.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you." Jared apologized. "And we get that you want to keep an eye on Seth, but do you really think Jake will let him get hurt?"

_Depends on whether or not Jacob can stop him from being an impulsive idiot._ I glanced at Seth.

_Thanks for the confidence_. Seth rolled his eyes.

"Sooner or later you have to stop using Seth as an excuse," Jared frowned at me.

Both Jacob, as human, and Seth growled in my defense. But I didn't need their protection. If anything, _he_ would need protecting from _me. _Who the hell did he think he was? He didn't know me. He didn't know the _first_ thing about me. He did _not_ get to judge me.

_You miserable sack of shit, _I snarled. _I will rip your god damn dick off_.

_You know that he can't hear you, right_? Seth questioned.

_Oh, he knows __exactly__ what I'm thinking._ I glanced at Jared, who took an automatic step back and brought his hands protectively around his front.

Seth noticed the move and shook his head. He was glad that he hadn't had to phase along with Jacob. He cringed thinking about me seeing him naked.

_Oh, like I haven't seen your naked butt before. I used to change your diapers,_ I laughed.

_Yeah, well, I've grown a lot since then_, Seth said defensively.

_Not much_, I mumbled.

Seth let out a low grumble, _I hate you, Leah._

Jared quickly regained my attention. "Sam told me to beg, if that's what it takes to get you back. He wants you to come home Lee-lee." I cowered down at the nickname that Sam had given me when we were together. I had to remind myself that everything Jared was spouting was bullshit. If Sam really wanted me back, he would be the one begging, not Jared. "He's real hurt, Leah. He's disappointed at your betrayal."

I growled out a sarcastic laugh. _My_ betrayal? It was his own fault for pushing me as hard as he had! He had to know that I was going to fight back eventually. Hadn't he heard that phrase about a woman scorned? Hell really _didn't_ have fury like someone as burned as me.

I snapped at Jared, letting him know how I felt.

_Tell Sam he can bite my traitorous furry ass_. _And as for you, if you so much as get within ten feet of me, my brother, or Jacob again, I will rip your fucking guts out of your ass and then tie them around your neck and strangle you with them_, I snarled.

_That's disgusting, Leah._ Seth shook his head.

_I will __never__ belong to Sam Uley again. I have made my choice and if that means that I'm letting the vampires adopt me to be their little guard dog and run errands for them, then so be it. It still beats having to see your ugly ass every day_.

As soon as I finished, I nodded at Jacob, letting him know that I'd said my piece. He quickly backed me up, telling Jared not to mess with me anymore. He went on to tell him that eventually things might go back to normal. After Bella had the kid, the Cullens would probably pick up and move. Then he would be free again. He mentioned something about Seth and I going home. I shook my head heatedly. No way I was going back. He didn't acknowledge my disagreement.

_I'm not going back either_, Seth agreed.

"Just howl if you need me, but stay away from the Cullens," Jacob warned Jared.

Jared turned to walk away, but Jacob stopped him. I had a feeling I knew what he was going to ask.

"Where's Embry? Is he okay?"

I saw Quil flinch when Jacob mentioned his name. He tried not to falter, but I could see that he had the answer that Jacob wanted to know.

"Embry's fine," Jared shrugged. I knew he wasn't lying. I had seen him a few minutes ago. But Jacob didn't seem to believe him.

"Why did Sam send Collin instead of him?"

"That's really none of your business anymore." Jared walked off. Jacob shrugged. I could tell it bothered him more than he let on.

Paul and Collin quickly skipped after Jared. Quil lagged behind. He let out a whimper. He missed Jake. Jacob admitted to missing him, too. I watched as they had a bro-moment. God, they were such _girls_ sometimes. After Quil took off, Jacob stared after him sadly.

Well, at least it hadn't turned into a brawl. Though, that might have been more fun. I smirked to myself as I thought of Jared screaming like a girl while I was lunging for his unmentionables…


	15. This actually doesn't completely suck

_And I told you to be patient, and I told you to be fine_

_And I told you to be balanced, and I told you to be kind_

_And in the morning I'll be with you, but it will be a different kind_

_I'll be holding all the tickets, and you'll be owing all the fines_

_"Skinny Love"_

_-Bon Iver_

* * *

**Chapter 15:**

**This actually doesn't completely suck**

When Jacob phased back, I immediately teased him about his gay-lover moment with Quil.

_I was waiting for you two jump each other's bones and go all "Brokeback Mountain" on me,_ I chuckled.

_Whatever,_ he grumbled.

_Well, at least we know they aren't planning an attack anymore_, Seth nodded.

_We still don't know that for sure. It could have been a diversion…though they failed to convince you guys to rejoin them._ Jacob was more pleased than he let on. He glanced at me. _What exactly did you say to Jared anyway_? he asked curiously.

_Nothing he didn't already know._ I didn't feel like repeating myself. Besides, Seth would tell him everything eventually. He never could keep quiet about anything.

I felt a wave of doubt flowing through Jacob. He looked at me and then at Seth.

_I hope I didn't say anything to piss you guys off_. He paused, _I mean, was that okay? I didn't mean to speak for you._ I could tell he was still having doubts about this whole "Alpha" thing.

Seth was quick to praise him, _It was awesome. It's like you were reading my thoughts __exactly__ even though you were human. You did great, Jake._

Jacob then looked at me. He was looking for _my_ approval? Wow, color me stunned. I thought about how he'd handled it. I would say he did pretty well. Although, I was hoping he would have shed some of Jared's blood.

_I was hoping that you'd break his nose._

Jacob seemed pleased with our reactions and all his self-doubt quickly disappeared. I offered a little more positive criticism.

_You actually did quite decently, Jake. But next time, kick Jared in the nuts._

Jacob howled out a laugh. We started trotting back towards the Cullen's. Jacob needed to update them on what was going on.

_I'm sure they'll be __so__ excited to know we're not dead_, I shrugged.

_Poor Quil,_ Seth thought of Quil's whimper as he had followed Jared away. He sighed, _Guess we know why Embry couldn't come._

Jacob didn't seem to get it. _What do you mean?_

_Sam wouldn't let him._ I knew what my brother was getting at.

_He wouldn't allow him_? Jacob was still confused.

I held back the "don't be so dense, you idiot" that was on the tip of my tongue. Seth saved me from pissing Jacob off.

_Come on, you saw how torn up Quil was,_ Seth explained.

He _was_ pretty upset. I felt bad for him. Then I growled at myself for feeling bad for him. Quil and I didn't really like each other. He was a cocky little shit.

Seth continued, _Sam knows that Quil won't leave La Push. That's where Claire is. No way he'd leave her behind. But Embry…he doesn't have anything to lose. Sam knows that. If Embry had the chance, he'd be right here with us_.

_I don't know_. Jacob was skeptical.

_Oh, come on, Jake, don't be an idiot!_ I lost the battle with my cynicism.

Jacob glared at me. _I'm not __that__ stupid. I just don't think that Embry would want to join our ranks. I mean, we're defending vampires here._

_He's your best friend. He would rather side with you than fight against you,_ Seth said.

_He hates vampires_, Jacob reiterated.

_You can hate them and protect them at the same time. I'm living proof of that,_ I shrugged.

_Okay, okay. I'm too tired to fight. You win. It __is__ a good thing that Sam didn't send Embry. I don't think I could take anymore annoying voices in my head,_ Jacob grumbled. _Seth, you still up for running the perimeters?_

_No problem,_ Seth said enthusiastically.

_Ugh, do you __have__ to be happy __all__ the time_? His optimism was getting on my nerves. I loved my brother, I really did. But if he continued to be so damn cheerful, I was going to have to tear off one of his legs.

_I can tell Edward what's going on, too, if you'd like. I'm sure they'd appreciate an update,_ Seth offered.

Yep, an enthusiastic, optimistic, leech-lover…that was my brother all right.

Jacob shook his head and an image of Bella drinking blood popped into his mind. Both Seth and I cringed away from the thought.

_Geeze, give it a rest with that image, would you? It's nasty_! I shuddered.

_Ew,_ Seth agreed.

_If I had any food in my stomach I would be hurling all over the place right now_. The thought was starting to make me nauseous.

_Wimp_, Jacob teased me. He faced Seth. _Just run the perimeters. I'll take care of the Cullens._

I perked up. And by "take care of," he meant what? I laughed. It was too much to hope that Jacob would hurt any of his new _friends_. The image of Bella drinking blood was still in his head. I think he was just thinking about that to annoy me.

_Cut it out Jake._ I felt a dry heave in my throat.

Seth wasn't as bothered now. He just shrugged happily, _Well, it is what vampires do._ He glanced at me, waiting for my reaction. I just stared at him like he was crazy. _If it helps Bella, it's a good thing, right_?

When was sucking blood ever a _good_ thing? I think Seth had completely lost his mind. Jacob nodded in agreement.

_Why are you looking at me like that_? Seth cowered down.

_Don't tell me - he fell down a lot as a child,_ Jacob chuckled.

_Mom dropped him a lot when he was a baby._ I couldn't help teasing my brother. And now that Jacob was in on it, this would be a _blast_.

_On his head, apparently._

_Come to think of it, he used to chew on the crib bars, too._

_Lead paint?_

_Looks like it._

_Oh, ha ha. You two are a real riot._ Seth was failing to find the humor.

It was silent for a minute before I responded, _I'm sorry._

He seemed surprised, _You are? Really?_ He looked at me suspiciously, _Why_?

_For smacking you in the head with sticks when we were younger. If I had known it was going to cause brain damage, I would've never done it._

_Have I mentioned today how much I hate you, Leah?_ Seth questioned.

At this point, Jacob had completely lost it. He was laughing so hard that he had completely lost his breath. I joined him. I took a moment to think about what was funny in life. If someone had told me that I would one day be following Jacob Black's lead and sharing a laugh with him, I would have _laughed_ at that.

Seth still wasn't amused. _You're both delusional. Why don't you shut up and get some sleep_? He ran off to patrol the borders.

I followed Jake back to the Cullen's place. There was no one around. Jacob found it odd that no one was there waiting on his report.

_Get some rest, Leah._ He jogged to the house. When he got to the porch, I saw him examining something curiously. I watched as he picked the object up in his teeth and then disappear into some surrounding woods. A few minutes later, he came back, fully clothed.

The vampires were dressing him now? He really was becoming their little puppet. I shrugged as I watched him waltz into the house. I wondered how long it would be before he completely fell over. He looked wobbly as he crossed the threshold.

I was tired too, but I wasn't ready to sleep yet. Yelling at Jared had really rejuvenated me. I figured I would run a little with Seth.

He mocked me, _What happened to "sleep is important"?_

_I'm just looking for a good spot to crash,_ I shrugged.

It's not like it was a lie. I could probably find a nice little area to rest while running. I saw a couple of areas near the border that looked like they might be comfortable. I decided that was my best bet. That way, I could still hear someone coming if Sam decided to try a sneak attack.

I yawned. My eyes closed. Before too long, I was completely zonked out.

I was in a deep state of sleep, dreaming of running free as a wolf. No Sam. No Jacob. No voices in my head whatsoever. The leaves crunched below my feet as I sprinted happily through the forest. I was relaxed as I took in the sights and scents around me. This was great. I never wanted it to end.

I was jolted awake when I heard a twig snap. I could tell it wasn't part of my dream. Every hair on my body was on alert. I quickly leaped to my feet, unsteadily and uncoordinated.

It didn't take me long to get balanced. I growled as I heard someone coming through the trees.

Embry. Damn, he had almost given me a heart attack. He lowered his head and whimpered. I could tell he wasn't here to hurt me.

_Everything okay, Leah_? Seth asked uneasily. The kid was still running? Wow, he had more steam than I'd given him credit for.

_What time is it_? I questioned.

_Midnight. You had a hard time getting to sleep. You were tossing around a lot._

Hell, I'd slept through an entire day. If _that_ didn't refresh me, I don't know anything else that would.

I glanced at Embry. He was still staring at me. Even though we couldn't hear each other anymore, I could see the question written all over his face, _Can we talk_?

_Hey Seth, you think you can handle it for a few minutes without me_? I didn't see the harm in seeing what was going on with Embry.

_I dunno_. Seth was weary. _What if it's a trap_?

_Oh, for Gods sake, it's Embry. If it was a trap, I'd be able to see it written all over his face._ Embry didn't have the best poker face in the world. More than likely, if Sam was planning an attack, he would have sent Paul or Quil. They were both pretty good at hiding things. _Just keep an eye open._

_With pleasure_. Seth still had energy left. He must have taken a nap at some point. No one in the world had _that_ much energy.

I nodded at Embry and we walked a short distance before we found a spot to phase. I quickly threw on some clothes.

Embry met me back in the clearing.

"What's up?" I questioned.

"Just wanted to talk." Embry tapped his foot nervously.

I laughed, "You look terrified. Am I really _that_ intimidating?"

He smiled weakly, "It's not you that I'm afraid of," Embry admitted. I automatically knew he was thinking of Sam. Would Embry get punished for this? I understood why Embry wouldn't be allowed to talk to Jacob. But it would be really shitty of Sam to ban him from talking to me and Seth.

After a moment of silence, Embry filled the air with a laugh. "Sam and Jacob are going to be _pissed_…"

"Let them be." I really didn't care. I wasn't under Sam's rule anymore, so I didn't give a rats ass what he did. And Jacob would get over it. "Are you breaking orders or something?"

Embry shook his head. "All Sam said was that we weren't allowed to see Jake. He didn't say anything about you or Seth." He paused. "What are _your_ orders?"

"Jacob doesn't really make us do anything we don't want to do."

"Wow, that must be nice."

I smiled. It was. It really was. To be free of Sam was the most exhilarating feeling in the world. I was so...liberated. I was starting to see why Sam wouldn't want Embry talking to me. All it would take is for Embry to hear how much better of a leader that Jacob was, and then the pack would be down to six.

Embry sighed, "We miss you guys."

"Sure you do." I rolled my eyes. I could just see Sam, ranting about how we had abandoned the pack. But for some reason, I _did_ believe that Embry missed us.

"Well, at least I do. It sucks without you guys. Paul is being more of an ass than usual. And Jared and Sam keep babbling on about how wrong it is to leave La Push." He paused. "At least Collin and Brady stay pretty quiet."

"And Quil?" I questioned about the one wolf that he had omitted.

I saw him look at his feet and frown. "He's spent most of the past twelve hours with Claire. And when he's not with her, he's really grumpy to be around." He scrunched up his face. "He misses Jacob." I saw him get frustrated. "I do too, but you don't see me being all snotty about it."

I nodded, "Sam's running you guys pretty hard, isn't he?"

"Unfortunately." He shrugged his shoulders. "But after the meeting with the Elders tonight, your mom helped Emily make the entire pack dinner. That was pretty cool."

I cowered down when I heard him mention my mother. Jared had tried to make Seth and I feel like crap for leaving her behind. He wasn't completely in the wrong. I really hoped she was doing okay. "Hey, how is my mom holding up?"

"Well, she didn't say anything regarding yours and Seth's most recent decisions. But we can tell she's worried about you two. And Billy about Jacob as well."

"I'm sure they're managing just fine." With Charlie in the state that he was in, I'm sure it kept Billy and mom plenty busy.

"Charlie's doing horribly." Embry didn't sugarcoat it. "He was there at dinner, too. Billy dragged him out. I think he was afraid to leave him alone."

I suddenly was angry at Bella again for doing this to her father. If she couldn't see how dangerous it was for her, she had to at least know how much she was tormenting her dad. She didn't know how lucky she was to have a dad who cared about her and was _alive_.

Embry softened his tone, "He was asking about Jacob. Wanted to know if he knew how Bella was doing."

"Why would he think Jacob knows anything?" I questioned. Charlie still didn't know about the paranormal. I couldn't figure out why he would think that Jacob knew anything more than he did.

"He knows that they talk from time to time," Embry shrugged. "Or they used to. He just wanted to know if Jacob had talked to Bella. He doesn't think that she's being very truthful with him, on account of he's her father and all."

I let out a tiny laugh. And then it turned into a loud string of endless chuckles. Charlie was good at reading people. He was absolutely correct that Bella wasn't telling him the whole truth. I just found the entire situation rather ironic. A cop who couldn't investigate his own daughter.

I heard a howl from somewhere in the west. It sounded like Sam. And he sounded angry. Embry cowered down.

"Guess he figured out my brilliant plan."

"Guess so," I nodded.

"I should be getting back. I'm sure I'm in for a hell of a lecture." He glanced towards where the angry howl had come from. "Tell Jake I miss him."

"I will," I shrugged. It was weird to have a conversation with Embry now that we weren't sharing thoughts as wolves. We hadn't really hung out all that much. I didn't think that he cared that much for me. Apparently, I was mistaken.

"You know, I'm sure that Jacob misses you, too." I smiled when I realized that Sam would probably see this conversation again in Embry's head. "So, if you get tired of Sam's bullshit, we'd love to have you around. To _hell_ with Sam." I was taking pleasure in saying this, knowing he was going to hear every word.

Embry laughed as he jogged off into the woods.

"Take care of yourself, Leah."

I heard the slight shimmering when he phased back. It was weird not to be able to _feel_ them phase anymore. I smiled smugly to myself, happy to have told Sam off again without ever having to talk to him. I quickly phased back.

Seth saw the conversation in my head.

_Poor Embry,_ he whimpered.

I wondered what Jake would think of our little conversation. It took me a moment to realize that I didn't feel him.

_Jacob hasn't phased back?_ I frowned. Okay, now I was getting worried that he had become a snack for the vampires. He shouldn't have been out this long.

_He probably just crashed somewhere as human._ Seth wasn't concerned. That didn't ease my mind, but I really didn't want to have to endure smelling the stench of the leeches again after smelling the fresh air. Seth huffed, _I'll go get him if you take over patrol for a bit._

_No problem._ Anything to avoid those damn vampires.

_Stop being so negative towards the Cullens, _he begged.

I laughed, _Like that's going to happen_?

A few minutes later, Seth phased out. I was alone. It was just like my dream.


	16. Stupid Maternal Vampire

_Life, it's ever so strange_

_It's so full of change_

_Think that you've worked it out,_

_Then bang,_

_Right out of the blue_

_Something happens to you_

_To throw you off course_

_"Just a Ride" _

_-Jem_

* * *

**Chapter 16:**

**Stupid Maternal Vampire**

After Seth didn't phase back, I had to force myself to go to the Cullen's. When I saw him happily sitting on the sofa and chatting with Bella, I growled. Happy little punk. Jacob was snoring loudly in the doorway. Looks like Seth had been right about Jake crashing as human.

Well, with Seth slacking off and Jacob sleeping, I really needed to focus on patrolling.

I ran longer than I had ever run in silence. Five straight hours. It was magnificent. Around five, I felt Seth phase back. He raced towards me, excited about some food that the vampires had cooked up. He trotted into view, all happy and wagging his tail. He had a basket in his mouth. He had truly become their little lap dog.

_Have they taught you how to fetch yet_? I asked sarcastically.

Seth dropped the basket at my feet, _You have to try this, Leah. It's __awesome__. The cinnamon rolls are to __die__ for_.

_Really? Because I'm sure that the Cullens can arrange that._

_Come on, Esme wanted me to bring you something to eat._ He nudged the basket towards me with his nose.

_I'd rather eat roadkill_. A dead raccoon on the side of the road smelled more appetizing than that vampire stench. Besides, if they wanted me to have it, it was probably poisoned. I turned my nose up at it. Seth wasn't going to push it.

_I'll just leave it here with you,_ he shrugged.

_Where are __you__ going?_ I asked.

I immediately saw an image of Bella flash in his head. I groaned. If she gained one more boy to wait on her hand and foot, I was going to lose it.

Seth explained, _She's having chills. Edward and I are switching off. I take over when she starts to shiver_.

Interesting. What did Jacob think about that?

Seth immediately answered me, _He's still asleep. I didn't want to wake him. He needs this rest._ Wasn't going to argue with that. He had been running himself ragged.

_Be careful,_ I frowned.

_Relax, Leah,_ he said as he ran off. _The Cullens are good people._

_People,_ I snorted. That was Seth's problem. He had become so close with them that he had forgotten what they truly were. Seth ignored me as he phased out.

I stared at the basket full of food. It did _look_ appetizing, but the smell of the vampires on it was unbearable. It lingered to the food so I couldn't _possibly_ scarf it down without vomiting.

I grabbed the basket in my teeth and found the closest body of water that I could. I tossed it in the river and watched as it flowed downstream and sunk to the bottom. The smell quickly dissipated and I let out a relieved sigh.

Then I went back to running patrols. I appreciated the silence in my head. I could really get used to this. I bet this is what it had been like for Sam when he had first started the transformation. He must have been so terrified when he phased for the first time. I had a hard enough time even with him there to help with the transition. He didn't have anyone. For a moment I pushed the hate I had for him out of my heart. I could relate to not understanding who you were or where you belonged in the world.

I huffed angrily. Here I was, feeling sympathy for Sam that I didn't want to be feeling. I increased my speed, hoping to burn off my thoughts of Sam. I tried to think of anything other than my ex-boyfriend. I thought about my mom, my dad, and for some weird reason, high school algebra. Math did nothing but infuriate me. I had never understood any of it. It was pointless. It's not like you were going to use the formula to calculate the slope of a line in real life.

_English is what I hate the most_. I realized I wasn't alone anymore when Jacob interrupted my math rant. _I hate writing all those damn essays_. I didn't miss the present tense. I'd forgotten that Jacob technically hadn't finished high school. I was guessing that he'd had Billy come up with an excuse for all of his teachers. I wondered what it was.

I know when Jacob first started phasing, when he was going through the tougher period, Billy came up with an illness that I just know plagues _every_ teenager: Mono. I laughed at his lame excuses.

_Well, well, look who's awake. How are you doing this morning, Sleeping Beauty_?

_Fabulous,_ Jacob snorted sarcastically. I could tell that he was irritated with himself for falling asleep at the Cullen's house. He had let his guard down, and he felt bad. He also felt guilty that he had slept for so long. He was just as critical of himself as I was of myself.

_We should start an "I hate myself" club,_ I suggested.

_Can I be president_? he questioned.

_Sure. Because I hate myself so much that I would subject myself to you barking orders at me._

_I don't think you hate yourself as much as I hate me,_ Jacob teased.

_Fine. I call vice-president._

_Edward can be the secretary._ Jacob was suddenly reminded that as much as we might hate ourselves, we still didn't hate who we were as much as Edward seemed to.

_No vampires allowed,_ I frowned. I laughed at how childish that sounded. Speaking of vampires, _Seth still at the leeches place_?

_Yep._

I still couldn't believe how close my brother had become with a group of bloodsuckers. We existed to _destroy_ them for crying out loud. I grunted. Seth could probably befriend a cardboard box.

_Easy on the rage towards the Cullens,_ Jacob grumbled. I saw him pacing into view holding a basket.

_Crap, not you too_, I growled. _Seth already tried to poison me once today_.

_I knew you wouldn't eat the food_. Jacob didn't seem surprised. _But there are some clothes in here, too_. _Esme feels bad about our…lack of a home_.

_I can go home whenever I choose to,_ I snorted.

_Oh, really_?

I guess he was right. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to make the journey back to La Push with so many of the pack being so anxious and angry. Plus, it wouldn't be fair to just breeze in and out of my mom's life.

_Esme wants to take care of us…as strange as it sounds,_ Jacob explained.

_Great, now we're a vampire charity case_.

Jacob walked up to me and dropped the basket in front of me. I just looked at him.

_Well?_ he asked.

_I already told you, I don't want any of that stinky junk_.

_Why can't you just accept it when someone does something nice for you?_

_Um, hello? Major trust issues?_ I quickly pointed out my past to Jacob.

_Geeze, Leah, just get over it._

_Starting to sound more and more like Sam every day._

_Take it back,_ Jacob growled. I hadn't expected him to get _that_ angry. He dove his nose into the basket and pulled out a cinnamon roll delicately with his gigantic teeth. _Sure you don't want it?_

I shook my head. _I'll go hunting later._

_Suit yourself._ He gulped the cinnamon roll down. After a moment, I heard him let out a satisfactory moan. _Mmm, Seth was right. These are delicious._

_Good, enjoy it._ I still had no interest.

_Fine, I will._ Jacob continued to feast on the food that had been meant for me. I watched as he scarfed down most of what had been prepared. _This is what it looks like when someone accepts a gift._ He pointed out.

_You know, two days ago, you wouldn't have been caught dead eating vampire table scraps._

_A lot's changed._

Indeed it had. I saw him thinking of Bella. He was really having a hard time letting her go. I tried not to think anything too unkind. She looked like she was doing worse again. Her weak human body was no match for the monster inside of her.

_I'm sorry, Jake,_ I said softly. _How is she doing?_

He shook his head sadly. _Carlisle seems to think it's only a matter of days. It's growing at an alarmingly fast rate._ I felt a twinge of pain from him. He growled, _She is so stubborn. I wish I could just knock her unconscious so we could yank the damn thing out of her._

_I still can't believe she would do this to the people she loves._

_Yeah,_ he snorted out a callous laugh. _Edward thought she would listen to me after she pushed him away._

_Yeah, that worked out well._ I rolled my eyes, _Maybe you and the vampire should team up and conspire against her._

_Don't think it hasn't been discussed,_ Jacob said seriously. _When it comes to protecting Bella, both Edward and I will stop at nothing._

_I don't know why she chose either one of you to be honest. You're both idiots. I mean, really, I've never met two more manipulative jerks in my life..._

Jacob seemed to take that as a compliment._ It's just too bad that I wasn't able to manipulate her into being all pro-choice. If she'd just get rid of that stupid fetus, she…_

_Would still become a vampire, and you would still have to let her go._ I interrupted him.

_Maybe_, Jacob drifted into thought.

I sniffed my nose a little. I was getting tired of smelling vampire odor. I grabbed the basket and took off running.

_Where are you going with that_? Jacob was curious as to what I would do with the basket full of clothes and the leftover food.

_I've got a place to store all this crap._ I made my way back to the same river I had been at hours earlier. I tossed the basket full of goodies into the water and watched as it joined the stuff I had disposed of earlier.

_Oh, __real__ mature, Leah,_ Jacob snarled. _I was gonna eat the rest of that._

_Are you __still__ hungry_? I questioned. How is it possible that he wasn't full after he'd ingested all of the food that he had just eaten?

_May as well hunt with you._ He took the lead.

So much for my quiet time. I shrugged and I raced after him. It was still better than what I had been doing two days ago. Not having to listen to Sam complain and order the pack around was great. One wolf in my thoughts was better than seven.

We spent most of the morning waiting on the elk to come out of hiding. When they finally did, I quickly bagged one. As my teeth tore into its flesh, I couldn't help but gag. I hated hunting as a wolf. Of course, it beat the alternative. I didn't need some Martha Stewart wannabe trying to stuff food down my throat. I'd rather take care of myself and not have to worry about the foul smelling food that a vampire had cooked.

Jacob quickly picked up on the fact that I had spoken to Embry. He wasn't angry. In fact, he was glad to know that Embry didn't hate him for abandoning the pack. I thought he would lay into me for talking to the enemy.

_They aren't the enemy, Leah._ He was quick to correct me.

_They want to kill your best friend._ I reminded him.

_It's complicated. You know that,_ he frowned. _Anyway, I don't like to consider them the bad guys. It's not their fault they have to follow Sam._

I grumbled. I had gone almost an entire five minutes without thinking about Sam. I was irritated that Jacob had muttered his name. I shrugged off the "angry" Leah, assuming it was just fatigue from the run setting in. I really had been pushing myself pretty hard for the past several hours. And now that I had some food in me, I could feel myself slowing down. Jacob suggested I rest. But I wanted to prove to him that I was just as dedicated to this cause as he and Seth were.

_So, Embry was pretty torn up, huh_? he asked.

_Yeah. I don't get why he doesn't just pull away from Sam. I could tell he wants to follow you._

_Did he say how everyone else is doing_?

_Quil's pretty upset. But I think everyone else is just pissed._

_I do feel bad for leaving Quil and Embry._ He paused. _I still can't believe that Embry called Sam a dick after I left. I wish I would have stuck around to see that._

_Yeah, it was pretty funny. Sam didn't know what to do. I've never seen him speechless before._ Well, there had been one other time. When Jacob had refused to obey him, he couldn't think straight.

_I never meant to cause him any pain,_ he sighed.

_Well, I'm glad you did. Bout time somebody did. Sam needed to be put in his place._

Jacob responded with a disappointed sigh. I decided maybe I should shut up before I said something I _really_ regretted.

He and I ran the perimeters for another six hours or so. It was when the sun started to get low in the sky that I gave in to my need to sleep. I had never run so much in my entire life. I went back to the little clearing I had found the previous day and completely zonked out.


	17. I'm completely and utterly insane

_Don't cry child, you've got so much more to live for_

_Don't cry child, you've got something I would die for_

_And if it comes to the rain, just be glad you'll smile again_

_Cause so many don't, and so many go unnamed_

_"Failure"_

_-Laura Marling_

* * *

**Chapter 17:**

**I'm completely and utterly insane**

Seth woke me again at midnight to trade off. I couldn't feel Jacob when I awoke, so I figured he was probably with Bella. I felt a sneer forming on my face. Jacob was being a whole lot nicer in this situation than he had to be. That poor fool would do anything for Bella. I know the vampires knew that.

Of course, I _did_ have a reason to be thankful to the leeches. Because of them, Jacob had a reason to break away from the pack. And that gave me a reason to leave, too. In a way, I was kind of grateful to them.

I finished a few laps before I wandered back to the house. Of course I had to be nosy and see what Jake was up to. I stuck my nose up to the window. Jacob was on the couch, cradling Bella. I thought I'd heard Seth say something earlier about her running a fever again. No wonder she was freezing. Her vampire husband was sitting at her feet. I noticed how he was taking careful measures not to touch her directly. I did hate the vampire, but I felt kind of sorry for him. It must suck to not be able to touch the person you love.

I saw Alice flitter around the living room. She suggested that Rosalie make something to eat for Jacob. Ha! Now they were waiting on werewolves. That must be making Rosalie see red.

Alice smirked as her sister disappeared into the kitchen. I had to admit, the little gal had some spunk. She was entertaining. I bet before she had been turned into a vampire, she was a riot to hang out with. She reminded me of a tiny woman who had a larger than life attitude. I bet before she was turned, she was one of those bar-hopping badasses who could drink a 300 lb man under the table.

Rosalie banged around some dishes in the kitchen. She had looked pissed when she ran off. Nothing new there. A few minutes later she came back in carrying something that looked like she had crafted into a dog bowl. She practically threw the dish at Jake. He looked amused.

"Thanks, Blondie." He ate a giant chunk out of the steak. "Hey, what do they call a blonde with a brain?"

_Oh, come on, Jacob, you can do better than that. That's grade school material._ I shook my head.

"A Golden Retriever." Jacob beamed, proud of himself.

Even though I had heard the joke a million times before, the look on Rosalie's face had me rolling on the ground in laughter. I watched Jacob inhale the food. I would be concerned with Rosalie trying to poison me if she were _my_ cook. Jake didn't seem to have that worry.

I did see his mood shift when they started talking about the little monster again. I could see the pain shoot across his face when she talked so lovingly about _it_. I could see how badly he wanted to pull away, but he couldn't. I knew that feeling. It really blows. I watched him flinch when Bella ran her fingers across his arm. How could he do this to himself? It was like torture.

"You're not happy here." Well _duh_. At least she hadn't gotten any dumber. "But you came anyway."

"You wanted me here," Jacob shrugged. I realized at that moment how selfless that Jacob had become. Why else would he be putting himself through such misery?

Bella explained to Jacob how much he meant to her. How _complete_ she felt when he was around. The invisible knife in Jacob's gut was being wrenched in every which way possible now.

Jacob finally lost his temper with her. "At least be honest with me. "Jacob, I get a kick out of your pain" is exactly what you're probably thinking."

"You…like that better?"

At least it was the truth. I shrugged. I knew that Jacob just wanted an explanation. And that did seem like the most logical one to me.

Bella started babbling incoherently. Bitch did that a lot. She finally drifted off to sleep. Edward and Jacob started a conversation of their own. Charlie was the main topic of concern. Apparently Bella had told him she was better. _Better_! Yeah, because people who are _better_ drink blood, bruise from the inside out, and struggle to breathe. I could hear the quiet rage in Jacob's voice as he told the leech what a bad idea it was to lead Charlie on. Losing Bella was going to be hard enough for him. Anytime a parent loses a child, it's devastating. And for Bella to make Charlie think that there was a glimmer of hope was one of the most…no…_the_ most selfish thing I had ever witnessed anyone do.

I drifted off into my angered thoughts as Edward and Jacob discussed some creatures in South America. Rosalie piped in with some kind of story about demons giving birth or something. It was all about kids with that crazy psycho. If she needed a hobby, maybe she should just adopt a puppy. I quickly changed my mind when I realized that Seth, Jake, and I were just _inches_ away from being the vampire's pets.

My attention averted back to Jacob. He had a mysterious look in his eyes as he and Edward both shared a glare of hatred at Rosalie. Jake picked up his dog dish and threw it into the back of the blonde's head.

My jaw dropped and laughter started seething out. I couldn't believe he had stood up to the blonde vampire _without_ being torn to shreds.

"Dumb blonde," Jake muttered.

Rosalie was _livid_. "You. Got. Food. In. My. Hair."

I lost it to my laughter at the same time Jacob and Edward did. It was too funny _not_ to howl at. Jacob added fuel to the fire when he snapped a few more blonde jokes at Rosalie. But I noticed that things got serious again quickly. The _thing _probably broke another one of Bella's ribs.

I didn't feel like standing around and watching everyone doting over the moron who was _choosing _to put herself in harm's way. I'd been here goofing off long enough. I needed to get back to patrolling. It was hard for me to leave Jacob in the company of so many vampires. But, if he wasn't worried, then I guess I didn't have any reason to be concerned either.

Seth joined me again after his quick powernap and we ran together until half past sunrise. That's when Jacob rejoined our ranks.

_Alright, everyone be on high alert. The Cullens need to hunt, so we're making sure their trail is clear_.

_Oh goody, more errands for the vampires._ I huffed out a laugh.

_Ah, good. You're up. How long has Seth been out_? Jacob questioned.

I knew that Seth had to be exhausted. He really hadn't been getting as much sleep as he should. He had taken a few naps here and there, but he had yet to really get any solid rest.

Seth was lagging. _I'm not out just yet._ There was still a perkiness to his tired voice. _Need something?_

_Think you have an hour left in you?_

Seth shook himself awake and was quick to say that he was up for it. He launched into the trees.

_We need to make sure this run is deep,_ Jacob explained. He told Seth to take the perimeter.

I really had a problem with helping _vampires_ feed.

_They need to eat too, Leah,_ Jacob scolded me. _Do you have a problem with this_?

Yes. A million times yes. It was a stupid errand. Fortunately I was able to suppress those thoughts. _Not at all. I just love to coddle the leeches._

Jacob made it a challenge for me when he mentioned something about seeing how fast we could run. He could definitely get me riled up. I had to admit, the mutt knew me. I stayed close to Jacob for a majority of the run, and almost passed him a few times. He was too close to losing, so he said something about me not being thorough enough.

That was sissy talk. I could do reconnaissance _and_ break a new speed record doing it and I would _still _be faster than him. He didn't argue with me.

As we ran through the mountains and circled back to the Cullen's place, I heard Jacob wondering to himself about what Sam was up to now. I wanted to know that myself. More then likely, Sam would kill any vampire they came across, whether it was on their land or not.

I stayed with Jacob at his _slower_ speed as we tracked the old scents through the forests and mountains. I couldn't help but notice how far we were running. Jacob explained why we were getting this far out.

_We need to be extra cautious. If Sam is hunting for strays, we would have crossed his scent by now. I just want to make sure there's no one in hiding._

I didn't think any of the wolves would be out here. If anything, Sam was running them hard in La Push. That would be his number one priority. As much as he wanted to attack the vampires, the town's protection would always come first. Jacob agreed with me. I still didn't like protecting the parasites.

_I get it. You love the vampires now. Wouldn't want anything to happen to your stupid leeches. Heaven forbid our precious parasites take any unnecessary chances,_ I said with an attitude. Jacob ignored me._ Look who's getting all mature on me. You have changed so much, Jacob. Talk about one-eighties._

_Like you're the same Leah I've always known and __loooved__?_ He added emphasis to that last part to let me know _exactly_ how much he _didn't_ love me.

_But I'm still less annoying than Paul?_

_Yes._

Yes, sweet success. Now if I could just somehow manage to keep Paul at number one on Jacob's hate-list.

As we continued the run in silence, I thought about how nice it would be to have just a pack with me and Jacob. Both of us were pretty independent. Once all this mess was over, Seth would have to go back to La Push. To school. And mom. He had a lot of obligations back in town. I didn't have anything. I had no life.

I followed Jacob as we circled back. He mentioned something about hunting.

_Oh, joy. Uncooked meat crawling with parasites. Can't wait,_ I muttered sarcastically.

Jacob then went on this whole spiel about how it was natural and the way that wolves lived. I had heard it all before. Still didn't make it suck any less.

_Forget the pep talk. I'll hunt. I don't have to like it._ I really hated to hunt. It was so…_undomesticated_.

He shut up, which kind of surprised me. If I had still been in La Push under Sam's command, I'm sure I wouldn't have gotten my way. Sam would have probably tried to tell me that my way of thinking was wrong. _Negative._ Hell, it's who I was. I tried changing once. It was a bad experience. I hated being someone else. I was just me. It was the only thing I knew how to be good at. I gave Jacob an appreciative look.

_Thank you._

_For what_?

_For letting me be me. For not trying to change who I am to better suit who you are. And for letting me stay here with you. I know you hate me. And you've been so much more tolerant, and a lot nicer than I had any right to expect_.

_No problem. Eh, you're not so bad. I actually kind of like having you around. You've been far less of a nuisance than I expected._

_Thanks for the glowing commendation. No wonder you didn't do well on your term papers in English._ I paused. _Seriously though, thanks._

_Yeah, yeah. Don't let your ego take over. Keep it from getting to your head._

I struggled with what I was about to say next. I didn't usually dole out compliments. This was one difficult for me because it was an odd situation.

_I think you're a good Alpha. Completely different from Sam._ Which was a good thing. _You're worth following, Jacob._

I could hear the confusion in his thoughts. He was overwhelmed and shocked at the same time. It took him a moment to recover.

_Thanks. Where exactly did that come from_?

Here was the tricky part. My thoughts drifted to my future, which was pretty empty at the moment. But I didn't want it to be that way. I wanted to change. But the only way to do that was to be able to stay away from Sam, to stay part of Jake's pack after all of this nonsense had resolved. I didn't say anything. I just let Jacob read my thoughts.

Finally, I admitted aloud, _I want to stay with you._

He screeched to a halt. How would he react? This was definitely a pretty big bombshell. I skidded past him and then backed up to where he was standing, frozen in place.

_You…wanna say that one more time? I think maybe I heard you wrong?_ he questioned.

I shook my head. He was probably worried that I would drive him insane. But that's not what this was about. I just couldn't go back to Sam. I stuttered over my words as I tried to map a plan out for him.

_You can go where you want and I'll go where I want. I'll just stay connected with you for my mind's sake,_ I suggested. He didn't say anything. I was starting to get nervous. I dug my claws into the ground and started to swish my tail back and forth in anticipation. _You won't have to put up with me for much longer. I'm thinking about giving it all up pretty soon._ _I'm happier now than I ever have been._

I could see Jacob's thoughts flickering. _Interesting._

Seth piped in, _I wanna stay, too!_ He was having a very hard time staying awake. We all really liked this pack, but Jacob stayed adamant about it not being a pack. He pretty much ordered Seth to go home when everything was over. But he didn't say anything to me. I could tell that he was mulling it over.

_But I don't want to go home_, Seth pouted.

_Jacob is right. Mom needs you._

Jacob was stunned that I had agreed with him on something. He glanced at me in silence.

_What_? I didn't understand what he was glaring at.

_I'm just trying to figure out what parallel universe I've been dropped into._

_It's not so crazy, is it?_ _I was technically on my way out of La Push anyway. I thought maybe I could go back to college, take a few classes. Maybe even get a job like a regular person._

_Make sure it has nothing to do with customer service,_ Jacob recommended. _I could see you ripping some crazed Christmas shopper in half for trying to steal some ungodly blue sweater._ He shook his head. I could tell his thoughts were overwhelmed.

I quickly backed off to let him think. He appreciated it.

_Just give me some time to think it over. It's a bit much to deal with at the moment._

No problem. I told him to take his time. I wanted to do everything in my power to prove to him that I could be connected with him and _not_ be a pain in the ass. I managed to stay quiet as we ran into a herd of deer. I grumbled to myself as I took down the biggest one that I could find. Seth and Jacob both bagged a deer of their own.

I hated this. It was so gross. And I actually kind of felt bad taking the life of such a helpless creature. I laughed quietly to myself. I had no trouble killing vampires, but I couldn't stand to take the life of an overpopulated species of deer? Sometimes I didn't even make sense to me.

As I stood over my dead deer, I saw the eyes of what was probably his family staring at me from behind some shrubs. It made me feel awful. I felt like I had slayed Bambi's dad or something. I wondered how Jacob could do this without feeling all this disgust. I attuned myself to his thoughts. He had let the wolf within take over. I watched from his perspective as he was able to eat…_for survival_. That's what this was for. It's not like I was out here torturing animals for fun. I had to do this to live.

It made it easier for me to tear into my kill. I did my best to not _think_ about what I was doing. I was just acting, the way nature had intended it to be. Predators did not hunt just for the hell of it. They had to do it if they wanted to survive. As I did my best to keep my brain completely quiet, I was able to fill my stomach full of nutrients. Even _this_ is something I could get used to. Which, if Jacob would have me, might be something that my future held.


	18. Hmm, how can I screw this up?

_There's nothing we can say or do_

_The damage is in front of you_

_I'm sorry, but sometimes things fall apart_

_Take some to understand_

_The situation's out of hand_

_But you didn't see it from the start_

_"Freeze and Explode" _

_-Cassettes Won't Listen_

* * *

**Chapter 18:**

**Hmm, how can I screw this up?**

I finished at around the same time as Jacob had. I trotted over to a patch of tall wet grass that was being moistened by the soft rain and used the water to clean myself. I had to kill to eat, but I _didn't_ have to walk around covered in blood like I was an animal.

_Thanks._ I was grateful that Jacob had let me share his thoughts. It made eating a hell of a lot easier. And it really wasn't so terrible thinking from his perspective. It actually made a lot of sense.

I felt Seth quickly fade into unconsciousness. Good thing, too. He needed some rest. I glanced to where my brother had collapsed and fallen asleep. Jacob looked over at him as well.

_He's a pretty good kid._ Jacob nodded. I nodded in agreement. _He really loves the Cullens, you know._ Of course, I knew that. Why else would he have broken away from Sam? Seth just couldn't stand to see _anyone_ hurt. That included our enemies. Jacob started to walk away. I knew he was headed back to the Cullen's. To _Bella_. I knew how difficult it was for him to be there. And at the same time, it was nearly impossible for him to stay away. It was like Bella owned a piece of his heart. I could relate all too well.

_I know how it feels, Jake,_ I sighed.

He just nodded sadly and changed the topic.

_You know, Leah, you might want to think this through. My head isn't the most pleasant place to be right now._

_Right, because I'm such a __joy__ to be around,_ I scoffed.

_You'll feel my pain, too. You'll share EVERYTHING__. _He warned.

I shrugged. _Misery loves company._ Of course I knew that he would be hurting. He was _already_ hurting. But at least I could deal with his pain. It was easier than having to face mine. _Wow, that sounds really terrible._ I realized how awful it must appear to him that I would rather deal with his heartache than mine.

_Fair enough. _He seemed to understand. He let out another sigh. _Does this get any easier_?

It was weird that he was asking me for advice. Ever since he'd saved me from those stupid newborn leeches last year, he'd been so sure of himself. I wasn't going to lie to him. I owed him that much.

_It's going to be really bad, Jacob. It hurts like…I don't even have the words to describe it. But time makes things easier. You can get used to about anything._ I saw an image of Bella appear in his head. I tried my best not to growl. _I'm sorry, I'm trying to be better about that. I can't help it that I don't like her. But I know how much you love her. I get it. She's everything that Sam was to me. Everything you want, but can't have._

I couldn't help but compare the similarities in our love lives. He knew what it meant to love someone and lose them. But I think he probably had it worse than I did. Because Bella was in pain, and that killed him to see. As much as I hated Sam for breaking my heart in half, at least he was happy. Emily made him happy. I thought back to the conversation that I'd had with my mother about how love and happiness tied together. God, that seemed like it was an eternity ago. I felt like a completely different person now.

I could feel the pain rising in Jacob's chest. He was starting to resent my honesty. I sighed. I only wanted to help him.

_I don't think I want to talk about this anymore. Did you __have__ to be so blunt_? he whimpered.

Yes, I did. Because lying to him would only make things worse. Because when the shit really hit the fan, it was going to be a lot harder to deal with things if he didn't know what to expect.

_I'm not saying all this to be mean. I wasn't always a hateful bitch. I used to be kinda nice before I turned into this compassion-less shrew_.

He scoffed, _I'm having trouble recalling that_.

We were silent for a few minutes as we separated in our run. I took the images in his head and started to analyze them. Maybe if I _really_ read into them, I would be able to see why he cared so much for such a moron. If I saw things from his prospective, I could better understand why he was now protecting vampires.

I tried to see Bella the way he saw her. Still looked like an idiot to me. I watched the adoration that Edward had for her. And the agonizing pain he was in as he watched her suffer. I had never doubted that the vampire cared about her. But now I could see just how deep that ran. It was hard for me to feel compassion for the leeches. But with Jacob's softening relationship with them, I really had no choice but to feel that way.

I picked apart the memories in his brain. Alice had apparently become attached to him. How weird. I would have thought she'd find it incredibly annoying to not be able to see his future.

Flashes of Esme and Carlisle. They seemed like any other husband and wife. And they loved their little vampire children. Even the bitchy blonde one. I couldn't understand why she was so hateful. All the others seemed to adore Bella, but Rosalie didn't feel the same way. Alice already considered Bella a sister. The other two boys in the family were ready and willing to accept her as well. Carlisle and Esme cared about her too. But not Rosalie.

I thought about how Rosalie fit into the family. And what made her so unwilling to accept Bella when the others had already accepted her as a part of the family. Then, it was like a light bulb went off in my head. The baby. By the way that she lingered around Bella waiting for her to pop, I could tell that Rosalie wanted a kid of her own. That was obvious. But she'd had that opportunity taken away from her when her life was stolen away. And she felt cheated. Scorned. She never had the choice. Bella did.

And suddenly, I got the relationship between Bella and Rosalie. Rosalie wasn't helping Bella to die just so she could steal the baby. Not that she didn't _want_ to. But that wasn't her first priority. Her first priority was helping Bella to _live_ the life she wanted to live. She was keeping Bella from having her free-will taken away. I knew how badly it hurt to have your free-will taken away. Damn it, if I was going to relate to any of the leeches, why did it have to be her? I hated seeing both Rosalie's and Bella's point of view. I still didn't like either one of them, but now I could sympathize with them.

I tried to change my focus and lighten my mood by thinking about Jacob's antagonistic relationship with Rosalie.

_You've gotta work on your blonde jokes by the way._

_Got any suggestions_?

_Why is it impossible for blondes to kill themselves with a gun_?

_Got me._

_Because they have no brains to blow out._

_Nice, what else have you got_?

_How do you confuse a blonde?_ He waited for my response. _Give her a bag of M&M's and tell her to separate the "M's" and "W's."_

_Any more_?

_How do blonde's brain cells die_? I paused. _Alone._

_That's it! That's the one_! He knew that one would irk Rosalie the most.

I thought about the blonde ripping Jacob to shreds after he poked her with one too many childish jokes. I grumbled. Now that I saw where she was coming from, it made it harder for me to hate her.

_You wanna know something crazy_?

_Leah, we're the __definition__ of crazy. We're a bunch a renegade werewolves protecting a family of vampires._

I suddenly wished I had kept my mouth shut. I don't think he was in any mood to hear me _defend_ Rosalie.

_What's on your mind_? he questioned. What a stupid question. He could _read_ my mind.

_It's just…I get that blonde vampire's perspective._ I could feel the rage heating up his body. I was such an idiot sometimes. At that moment, I knew I'd stuck my foot in my mouth. I could see an image of him lunging for my throat in his head. I pleaded with him to let me explain. He didn't want to listen to me. He was getting ready to phase. I felt it. Crap, I couldn't let him phase back without him understanding what I meant.

_Come on, don't freak out or overreact. Let me explain_!_ You don't even know what I'm talking about._

_You've already dug your own grave,_ he growled.

I explained anyway, _I'm a genetic dead end, Jacob,_ I snarled. He wasn't expecting that. And of course, he wouldn't understand it. He seemed surprised at my response. Good, at least I had his attention.

_Maybe this will help you see things a little more clearly. _I flashed a few images in my brain. One being a box of tampons. He automatically cringed at that thought. Why were boys such pussies when it came to that kind of thing?

I continued with my thoughts. I thought about when I had first become a werewolf. And how freaked out I was when I skipped a period. Another cringe from Jacob. I knew that there was no way I was pregnant…unless I was the new Virgin Mary. Then I skipped another period. _Cringe._ And another. _Cringe_. I tried my best to see the positive; not having a menstrual cycle wasn't all bad. At least I didn't have to deal with cramps anymore.

I started to wonder if I had become a werewolf because there was something wrong with me. Maybe I wasn't destined to be a typical female, all happy and popping out kids like some frumpy housewife. Just because I didn't like kids doesn't mean I didn't want the option offered.

I continued, adding to my explanation, _No one has ever imprinted on me, despite my solid pedigree._

_Yeah, cuz you have such a __great__ personality,_ Jacob thought harshly.

Ouch.

_Sam thinks we imprint to choose the person who has the greatest chance of carrying on the heritage. And he was never drawn to me in that sense._ I felt the floodgates opening. This pained me to _think_ about, much less _talk_ about. I felt him cower at my pain. _Jake, Sam didn't want me because there's something wrong with me._ I had to hold back my tears. _I'm just a freak with four legs. I can't mate and have little wolf babies. I'm twenty-years-old and stuck in the body of a sixty-year-old menopausal woman._

_That explains the mood swings._ Jacob tried to lighten the mood. He became serious again after a moment. _You don't know any of that for sure. Who knows what will happen after you quit the pack? I bet everything will start to __'flow__' again._ I felt his hesitation at the word _flow_. Boys would never understand what girls go through.

I knew that couldn't be true. Because if it was, then why had Sam not imprinted on me? I couldn't carry on the gene.

_Come on, you can't seriously want to imprint, or be imprinted on? Not after what happened with Sam? I mean, who says we can't fall in love the normal way? There's nothing wrong with falling in love without imprinting. You, of all people, should understand that the inability to control imprinting is just another way to have your choices taken away from you._

Which is exactly what Bella was trying to avoid. Losing her free-will. I couldn't say that to him though. Not just yet.

_I don't know. Sam loves Emily more than anything_._ More than he loved me._ It pained me to say it. _And the other boys don't seem to mind, either._

_That's because they don't have any brains. They're all idiots._

_So you don't want to imprint_?

_Hell, no_! Oh, it wasn't just a "no." It was a "hell, no." I didn't know he felt that strongly about imprinting. Guess that explains why he had never staked a claim on Bella. He loved that crazy bitch with all of his heart. But there was nothing stronger than the love that an imprinter has for their imprintee.

_All this pain could go away, Jacob. All you have to do is imprint. You wouldn't hurt over her anymore._

He scoffed at me, _Yeah, like you want to forget the way you felt about Sam? How much you love him_?

I paused to think that over in my head. And the answer that I came up with surprised even me. I _did_ want to forget everything about Sam. Because if I could forget how much I loved him, then I could forget how hard it was when he admitted that he didn't love me. It was harder to still be friends with him. There was a time in my life that I would have taken his friendship over no relationship with him at all. But after experiencing the heartache of not being able to have him more intimately, I quickly changed my view.

I _wanted_ to forget how it felt the first time I fell in love. Because I wanted that feeling of falling head over heels for someone again. I just wanted to know that I was capable of loving someone _more_ than I loved Sam. But as long as my love for him existed, I knew that the possibility of that happening was not possible. You never get over your first love. Because they will always have your heart.

Jacob interrupted my thoughts, _If this is about Sam…if you're worried that I'm going to make you go back to him…don't. I can't promise that you can stay with me forever. But I __can__ promise that I won't make you go back to him._

_Thanks._ I smiled weakly. _I think it might break me if I let him back in my life._

Okay, I had faced enough pain for the moment. I turned my focus back to the psycho blonde. Originally, I had intended to explain to Jacob why I could see where she was coming from. I don't know how the conversation had steered so painfully off-course.

_Back to what I was saying, I understand __why__ Rosalie is the way she is. She's so hateful because her life was stolen from her. The options that Bella has were never offered to her. She is giving Bella the chance that SHE__ never had. I get that,_ I sighed.

I felt all of Jacob's sympathy for me fade and his anger took over again.

_So, you're on the same page as a murderer now_? _Because that's what Blondie is. She's helping Bella die. You __agree__ with that?_

_It's not like that, Jacob. You wouldn't understand. You haven't had something like that taken away from you. And I can't explain __why__ I feel this way. Maybe if I knew there was a chance that I could one day have a normal life with a family, and kids…I wouldn't be thinking like this._

_You didn't answer me. You agree with murder_?

I hesitated. He wasn't going to like my answer.

_Call it a girl thing. If Bella asked for my help, even though I can't stand her whiny ass, I would help her. I'd like to think she would do the same for me._

_You know, of all people, I wouldn't have expected __you__ to side with the vampires…_

_I'm not __siding__ with anyone. I…_

He cut me off, _Just save it. You're just as bad as they are._

_Wanting something you can't have makes you stupidly desperate._ I tried to explain my moronic view on this subject.

That was the thing that pushed him over the edge. He was moments away from phasing. And I couldn't stop him this time.

_Fine, run off. Whatever. I'm used to people bailing on me,_ I grumbled. Sam, my friends, my dad. It had become a familiar routine. Everyone I cared about had either left me or died.

A few minutes later, he was gone. As he ran away from my thoughts angrily, I sighed. Well, I had screwed that one up royally.

_Good job, Leah,_ I snarled at myself. I had probably just killed _any_ chance I had of running with Jacob after this was through.

I was angry. And sad. I don't know what I was hoping for. I knew that conversation wasn't going to end well. I pushed away all of my emotions and ran all-wolf, just like I had been seeing Jacob do for so long. It definitely helped. It improved my run. I was getting better at this…thanks to Jacob. I hated that our conversation had ended that way.

I had to let out a sarcastic laugh. Just like me to screw up a situation that I had actually been _learning_ from.

For once, I did not enjoy the silence in my head.


	19. Die bitch, die

_Hey, you want what with me?_

_I'm gonna tell you one time, don't fuck with me_

_Beat his ass, ain't got nothing to lose_

_And I'm havin a bad day, don't make me take it out on you_

_"Get Back"_

_-Ludacris_

* * *

**Chapter 19:**

**Die Bitch Die**

The run was going pretty normally. I crossed trails with Carlisle and his clan as they made their way to the same place that Jacob, Seth, and I had hunted before. It was weird to come across a vampire and _not_ want to kill them. God damn Jacob for making me hate them less. Now that I could see their point of view, I was more or less indifferent to them.

When I got to the border between the two lands, I saw Embry pacing. When he saw me, his tail started to wag. He looked at me, and I could tell that he wanted to talk again. I shook my head. With Seth out cold and Jacob playing with his new best friends, I couldn't afford to let down my guard.

_Maybe another time._ I shrugged my shoulders as I continued my patrol.

For a while, the quiet continued. I had no idea how interesting things were about to get.

I heard an engine revving down the road that I was running parallel to. I stuck my head through the bushes, and was surprised to see Jacob behind the wheel. He looked _furious_. But…where was he going? My eyes followed the car. What the hell was he doing behind the wheel of an Aston Martin Vanquish? For half a second, I thought about chasing him, but I didn't have the energy. Plus, I couldn't leave Seth unprotected.

It suddenly dawned on me where he'd gotten the car. I knew that the vampires had a collection of expensive automobiles. He must have swiped one from their collection. I laughed. I wonder how pissed Edward was that Jake had bolted with that shiny new car.

I still didn't know where he was going or what had sparked his fury. I just shrugged it off. I had running to do. The quiet didn't continue for much longer. Seth awoke from his power nap, re-energized and ready to run.

The first thing he saw when he woke up was the picture of Jake speeding away in Edward's fancy car.

_Where's he going?_ Seth asked softly.

I shrugged, _Beats me._ I had pissed him off, but not _that_ much.

Seth then accused me of running him off. _What did you __do__, Leah_!

_Why do you always assume that it's __my__ fault_? That irked me a little. I had a feeling that this had nothing to do with me. At least, I hoped it wasn't my fault. I couldn't imagine that our conversation would have driven him to commit grand theft auto.

_Because it usually __is__ your fault._

_Alright, Einstein. Tell me what's so wrong about __this__. _I shared the conversation that Jake and I'd had before he took off.

I felt Seth's bewilderment as I _defended_ Rosalie and Bella. He never would have thought he'd see _me_ in agreement with vampires.

_You…really feel that way_? Seth questioned.

_Unfortunately_, I nodded. I continued, letting Seth see the whole replay. He needed to know that I hadn't intended on hurting Jacob. It hurt like hell reopening those wounds. I cringed as Seth heard me tell Jacob how much Sam had hurt me.

Seth surprised me when he got all defensive and brotherly.

_I'm sorry Sam hurt you so much. I wish I could rip his throat out for you._ He paused. _You don't know how hard it was for me to follow his command knowing that I wanted to tear his head off for leaving you._

_Aw, thanks kid. That's…kind of sweet._

He took a moment to think.

_There's nothing wrong with you, Leah,_ he assured me. _Sam's a fool. You deserve better than him._

Nothing wrong with me? Yeah, I wish I could believe that.

Another pause from Seth. He decided that it wasn't my fault that Jake had taken off.

_Maybe he just needed a break. This is hard for him_, he sighed.

I was in agreement there. Jake would come back when he was ready. It's not like he hadn't run off before. So, I continued to follow Jacob's plan to protect the vampires. Seth and I ran for a couple of hours…and Jacob still hadn't returned.

I was starting to worry.

_He's probably back at the Cullen's place by now. No doubt getting in every last second that he can with Bella._ Even Seth's calm assumption didn't decrease my worry.

_I think I'll go check on him._

_That's cool. I'll keep patrolling._

We broke off and I sped towards the Cullen's place. The closer that I got to the mansion, the stronger the vampire odor became. I still couldn't stand the smell, but at least I was getting used to it. Even so, I really hated spending time anywhere near their house. Jake and Seth may be comfortable with them, but I still didn't trust them.

As I made my way to the front of the house, I slowed down. I could hear my heart pounding. I hated being here. But I wouldn't be long. As soon as I knew that Jake was okay, I was out of here.

_Hey, mindreader!_ I yelled as loudly as my thoughts would allow.

I could hear muttering from inside the house. Rosalie said something to Edward about ignoring pests and taking care of his wife. I thought I heard Edward tell Rosalie to go to hell. A house full of vampires. I laughed. I was _in_ hell…

_Come on, leech, I don't have all day_. I hoped he could hear me. I know he could hear thoughts, but I don't know how close I needed to be for him to hear mine.

Apparently, he'd heard me. He opened the front door.

"Leah?" Edward seemed stunned to see me.

I was stunned myself. This is the last place on Earth I wanted to be. I thought about Sam and the pack. Okay, _second_ to last place. I'd rather be buddies with vampires than Sam's bitch again.

_I need to talk to Jacob_._ I haven't felt him phase back. I figured maybe this is where I could find him_.

"He's not here."

_Where is he then?_ For a moment I was worried that he had gone to do something stupid, like take on Sam alone. He could have taken the car so Sam and the pack wouldn't have sensed him coming as a wolf. Little did I know it was worse than that.

"I gave him a break." He could see the confusion on my face. "He was upset, so I gave him the keys to my Vanquish and told him to get some air."

Hmm, so Jake hadn't stolen the car after all. Pity. That would serve Edward right. He'd stolen Bella back from Jake after his little suicide attempt in Italy. Too bad that he didn't follow through with offing himself.

I still didn't get what had gotten Jacob so upset. I looked to the bloodsucker for an explanation.

Edward seemed willing to share.

"The baby…it seems, is communicating with me. He understands that he his very strong and hurting Bella. He is doing his best to be gentle now."

Well, wasn't that special? The stupid little bloodsucking tick could talk before even being born. I growled when I realized that this had been the thing that upset Jacob. I was livid. Jacob had been helping these assholes for the past several days. He had started to rely on Edward to keep Bella alive by trying to convince her to _abort_ the stupid creature. But now Edward was on board with this whole baby thing. Did he care that when the kid came out, Bella would probably die anyway? I let out a snarl. These two were the _exact_ reason that idiots should use birth control.

This was the last straw. Someone needed to tell Bella _exactly_ what she was doing to Jacob. Before I realized what I was doing, I was behind a tree, phasing to human. I didn't even let Seth know what was going on. I figured he could handle it alone for a few minutes.

I threw on my clothes and marched towards the house. Though I could see he was alarmed, Edward did not try to stop me.

"Where is she?" I growled.

"Leah, she's in no condition to…"

I pushed past him. Maybe I should have thought twice about going into the enemy's lair. I know that Jacob spent a lot of time here, and they knew Seth fairly well, too. How would they react to me? I didn't care. Jacob was hurting…and I was pissed.

I didn't have to go very far. The pasty little heartbreaker was sprawled out on the couch. She had some tubes hooked up to her nose. She was pale. Practicing to become a vampire, I suppose. She really did look terrible. Worse than what I had seen in Jacob's mind. Seeing her in person didn't compare to the picture that had been etched all over Jake's thoughts.

"Leah…" She looked at me uneasily.

The irritating blonde vampire next to her side let out a low hiss. Guess she could see why I was here. Oh well, if I got killed, at least it would be while I was ripping Bella a new one.

"Stupid mongrel," Rosalie growled.

I didn't waste any time as I snapped back, "Stuck up bitch."

A growl built up in Rosalie's throat. She looked like she was ready to pounce. I didn't care. Bring the bitch on. I wanted to kill something anyway.

Edward quickly shut the blonde up. "Rose, don't do anything stupid."

Good, maybe I could say my piece and then get the hell out of dodge before suffering too much damage.

Bella was still uneasy as she looked at me. "It's nice to see…"

I wasn't going to let her finish.

"Alright, listen here you selfish pathetic little moron…cause I'm only going to say this once…"

I had her attention.

"First of all, you should have done us all a favor and kept your legs closed. Needless to say that _you_, of all people, shouldn't be reproducing," I snapped.

I saw her lip start to tremble. That shit wasn't going to work on me.

"Just because Jacob cares about you doesn't mean that _I_ have to. I run with _his_ pack…which you _aren't_ a part of. You chose your precious little obsessive controlling stalker boyfriend…just like any other dumbass teenage moron would."

There was a hiss that escaped Edward's teeth behind me. Against my better judgment, I didn't look back as I answered him, "Oh, go suck a dick you fruity Rock Hudson wannabe…" To hell with all these stupid vampires. I was going to die anyway. Might as well go out reaming Bella.

I continued my rant, "I give it two years before you become some divorced bitter hag with a toddler living in a trailer screaming nonsense at your neighbor in bare feet."

I heard Edward continuing to growl from behind me. "That's enough."

"I'm not finished." I noticed that my audience was growing. The big one, Emmett I think, appeared around the side of the room. I continued the lashing anyway. "If you had any brains in that head of yours, you would have seen that Jacob isn't just like "any other boy." He doesn't hang out with you just because you have tits and a vagina. He hangs out with you because he _CARES_ about you…though I don't understand why…"

"You're treading on dangerously thin ice," Edward snarled.

Bella held her hand up and shook her head and squeaked out, "Let her finish."

I could see the tears forming in her eyes. I didn't care. Her weeping did nothing to me.

"If I were him, I would have cut your worthless ass out of my life the moment I met you. But for some reason, he thinks you're worth being friends with. And he will _stay_ friends with you, because that's the kind of guy he is. But it is _killing_ him, Bella," I snarled vehemently. "You do realize what is going to happen when you throw your life away here? You see who is going to be hurt the most?" I frowned. "You should have just let him go. This whole sick and twisted "I need you in my life" shit is all a load of crap, and you know it. Just like any other fucking teenage girl who likes to play mind games. But you don't care about anything other than yourself, do you? It's not like anyone else in the world matters. It's always about what _you_ want, isn't it? _I__ wanna be a vampire. __I__ wanna fuck my boyfriend. __I__ wanna have a baby. I don't care about anything except getting what __I__ want_." I did the best impersonation of a whiny little cunt that I could manage.

I was on fire. I couldn't believe that no one had stopped me yet. Bella really did have Edward wrapped around her finger. Boy was _whipped_.

"I mean, come on…pregnant at eighteen? What are you, an after school special?" I snorted. "Here's the thing…you wanna go off and have some fucking mutant spawn vampire babies and ruin your life, that's fine, but leave Jacob alone. Because if you keep hurting him, you're going to have to answer to me. And I'm not afraid to cause a little damage to your supposedly "fragile" body. I don't care that you're pregnant. I'll kick your Rosemary's baby's ass, too!"

The blonde vampire hissed at me again. I snarled back at her, "If you don't stop hissing at me like some stupid second grader pretending to be a monster, you're going to find out _not_ where babies come from, but witness how they get put back. You love the god damn kid so much, how about I just shove your ass up there with it?"

"Hey, you're not angry at Rose," Bella whimpered quietly. "Don't take it out on her." The hell I shouldn't! They were all worthless cocksuckers to me.

"She shouldn't be taking it out on _anyone_…regardless of how angry she is. She just doesn't know how to control her temper…" Edward curled his lip up at me.

Damn straight. I quickly went to mock him as well, "Oh, I'm so perfect, I'm a _vampire_." I rolled my eyes. "Tremble before me. I'm _sooo_ dangerous. Look at me, I _glitter_!" His snarl grew louder. "Hey, I will cut your balls off…fucking cumdrinker…" I don't even know _where_ I was coming up with this shit. I always knew I had a tendency to be vulgar when I was pissed, but some of these words were new even for _me_.

I faced Bella again. I needed to finish before I completely lost it and phased right there.

"Everyone sees you as this delicate little flower. Well, honey, get ready because this winter storm is getting ready to _crush_ your tiny worthless little blossom. I will tear your ass up. You mess with him, and you mess with me."

That really pissed Edward off. He was by Bella's side in an instant, telling her not listen to me.

_That's right, comfort the girl that you're killing,_ I thought angrily.

I saw him lean towards me, ready to attack. Bella stopped him again. Geeze, what was with her? Did she get off on this kind of crap?

I looked at her and Edward, "You two fucking idiots are _perfect_ for each other. So yay for the controlling dick and the whiny bitch ending up together to live _not_ so happily ever after." I shook my head. "Jacob deserves _so_ much better than you…"

"I think wolf girl has a crush on Jacob." Emmett interrupted me, trying to distract me from my rage. Didn't work.

"Shut it, monkey boy." I glared at him. I turned back to Bella. "As for you, _Bella_…" I hissed her name. "Why don't you grow a pair? Stop being such a selfish, self-sacrificing martyr? Pull your head outta your stupid vampire ass, quit the whiny bitch routine, and get the hell out of my town…or die giving birth…I really don't care. I hope the baby rips your ass in half."

I could see the pain shoot across Edward's face. The chances of Bella living through this were slim. Which was fine by me.

I saw Bella wince. I couldn't tell if her pain was emotional or if the baby had kicked her again.

"Hey, little pussy fruit…do me a favor and kick the shit out of your dumbass mama for me!" I gave Bella an evil glance. "You know, I'm _glad_ you're dying. It saves me from having to kill you myself," I shrugged.

Now, how did I finish this rant? What was the perfect way to say goodbye? I shrugged. I figured while I was here, I might as well get in every last insult that I could. "Fuck you and the sparkly vampire that you rode in on…oh, wait, that's how you got in this position, isn't it?"

And I was done. I sailed past Edward, out of the house. I was barely off the porch when I let the anger win. I exploded into my fur coat. I heard shuffling behind me. Who was going to be the one to attack me?

Edward. No surprise.

"Leah," he said in an angered tone. I could tell he was trying very hard not to lose his temper. Psh, like I was afraid of him. "If you _ever_ pull this kind of stunt again, I don't care _what_ Bella says, I will deal with you myself…"

_Good luck being a single dad_. I was beyond caring. I knew that last one hurt him. I saw the anguish flush across his face. SOB was speechless as I took off towards the woods.

Seth saw what had just happened play through my mind.

_Leah, how could you say those things_?

I thought of Jacob and his heartbreak. And about how Bella was giving herself to the enemies. I thought of the way that Bella was using Jacob for her own personal gain. And how her pussy of a husband was letting her get away with it. Seth was still so young. He didn't get it.

I sighed, _You'll understand one day._

And I truly hoped he would. Because if he didn't, then for the rest of my life, my brother would never be able to see me in the same light again.


	20. Well, this won't end well

_Ain't it a bitch sortin' out our sordid lives?_

_Yeah, it's a bitch when you come to realize_

_Crack yourself a box of Cracker Jacks_

_You could get a really shitty prize_

_It's a bitch sortin' out our sordid little lives_

_"Sordid Lives"_

_-Olivia Newton John_

* * *

**Chapter 20:**

**Well, this won't end well…**

Jake returned not long after I had ranted and raved at Bella. I hid in the bushes, hoping that the setting sun would help mask me in the darkness. He saw me and Seth, sitting together, waiting on him to return safely. He drove the car back into the garage.

I never realized how large this mansion really was. I don't know why I kept coming back here. The smell killed my nose. How I had made it out of the house alive after my rant, I have no idea. I guessed that the vampires were all too shocked that I was suicidal enough to come into their crypt and scream at them that they hadn't had enough time to react and kill me.

_Stay here,_ I ordered Seth as I trotted towards the garage. I wanted to see what Edward was going to say to Jake.

_Hey, I outrank you, remember_? Seth questioned.

_Keep dreaming, kid._ I rolled my eyes.

He ignored me and followed me to the garage. As soon as Jacob threw the keys back to Edward, Edward tattled. I should have known that he would tell Jake the first chance that he got . _Wah, wah. Leah was mean to my wife. _Snitch. Jake was probably going to lay into me for yelling at his precious Bella. But I didn't care.

"What happened?" Jacob was astonished that I had let down my guard and gone into the house _human_.

"Well, she wanted to speak to Bella."

Psh, _Speak_. More like kick her ass. I snorted.

Edward then started to puff his chest out and get all defensive of Bella. He warned Jacob that next time I did something like that, he wouldn't be accountable for his actions. _Oh, bring it on, mindreader_...

I could see the curiosity forming on Jake's face.

"What exactly did she say?"

I laughed. Would Edward be able to repeat my entire rant? Highly unlikely. Mr. Prim and Proper had probably never even _heard_ of some of the words I'd spit at his wife today. Stupid goody-two-shoes vampire.

"Let's just say that Leah feels strongly about you. And she didn't hold anything back when she blew up. Some of the things she said…well, Bella is still crying…"

She was _still_ crying? I felt proud of myself. Of course, making that whiny brat cry wasn't difficult. She moaned and complained about _everything_.

"I can't promise to control Leah." Jacob shook his head. Damn straight. God, it was nice to have a pack leader who didn't bark order's at me every step of the way. "I'll talk to her. But I'm not going to stop her from being who she is."

Even though we fought constantly, I realized at that very moment how much I really loved Jacob. He never tried to change me. That was something I would forever be eternally grateful for. I owed him so much.

"Leah doesn't really hold back much…" That was the truth, "...so whatever she said, she probably got it all off of her chest today…"

I wouldn't have gone that far. There were a few more choice words I had for the pregnant whore.

Jacob immediately tried to make things right. He told Edward he would talk to Bella. I hoped he wouldn't take back any of the things I said. I meant them all. Luckily, he would have to wait. Apparently the heartbreaker was asleep. Edward then tried to convince him that Bella was improving.

Yeah, right. I thought of the way she had looked when I was screaming at her. She was knocking on death's door. If she was improving, then I would personally kiss the vampire's feet for the rest of my life. No way she was doing any better.

"When Carlisle returns…"

I saw Jacob flinch when he heard that the vampires weren't back yet. His face looked…_worried_? He was concerned about the vampires? What the hell was happening to him? A week ago he wanted to _kill_ them. Now the thought of them being hurt _concerned_ him?

Edward explained that Carlisle hadn't just gone hunting. He had gone to find resources to help Bella. It was just like the doctor to put Bella before himself. He was the only one of the leeches that I believed was any good.

"As soon as Carlisle gets back, I'm going to see if he can deliver the baby."

I saw that Jacob's reaction was the same as mine.

_What_! They planned on trying to do a c-section on her? To deliver the Exorcist child?

Edward continued to explain that the child…_growl_…was ready to be delivered. He then used the one thing that he knew Jacob couldn't argue with. Bella was dying, so in order to save her, they had to deliver the baby. Jacob would not argue with Bella's life.

I saw pain wash across his face. His time with Bella was swiftly coming to an end. He couldn't breathe. I knew that feeling, too. Losing your heart, your lungs, everything in your body shuts down.

Once the baby was out, if Bella lived…Jacob would be forced to see Edward, Bella, and the child living happily ever after as a family. He would lose her forever. And, if she didn't make it, he would still lose her. It was just a lose-lose situation. He lost his balance and it looked as if he were going to collapse.

I saw Edward shoot his hands out to try and steady him, but after realizing that would probably only make things worse, he pulled back. Smart move, bloodsucker.

Then he said something I would never forget, "I'm sorry, Jacob."

Was the leech apologizing to a werewolf? I was floored. It was one thing for Edward to know that this was killing Jacob. But it was another for him to actually recognize it aloud and ask for forgiveness.

Edward continued, "I know you hate me. But…I don't hate you. To be honest, I never have. I always thought this werewolf/vampire rivalry was stupid. And these past few days, I have come to know and respect you more than I ever thought possible. I've come to see you as kind of like…a brother." Oh, give me a freaking break. This was just _too_ corny. "No one wants to see their brother hurting. I'm truly sorry for your sorrow. I hate seeing you suffer." He took a deep breath. "I know what matters to you is Bella's life. And she _is_ going to live."

Jacob wouldn't argue with him, even if his speech _was_ completely lame. Having Bella survive is what he had always wanted. But that still didn't soothe his heartache.

"That being said, I'm going to beg you to do something for me…"

Like he had anything left? I heard Jacob say exactly what I was thinking.

"If something _does_ go wrong, I need something from Ephraim's heir."

I couldn't believe that Edward would refer to our original pack.

He looked at Jacob with begging eyes. "As true Alpha, Jacob, I want your permission to break the treaty. I need to know that if something goes wrong, I can save her life."

Jacob must have thought his response, because Edward started babbling about how Sam wasn't the true Alpha, Jake was. Wow, something that Edward and I agreed on. There's a first.

Jacob never answered yes or no to Edward's plea. I could see that their conversation was going on in Jake's head now. I got bored, so I loped back to the trees. Seth stayed in some bushes closer to the house. And when Edward and Jake came out of the garage, he strolled over to them.

"Hey, kid." Jacob could barely speak. He was still reeling from everything that was going on.

_I was worried about you, Jake._ Seth lowered his eyes. I knew that Jacob would understand what Seth was thinking.

"Hey, everything's all good. I'll explain in more detail later," Jacob shrugged. God, he was a terrible liar.

"He overheard everything." Edward blew Seth's cover. "They both did." He glanced in my direction. The stupid vampire just _couldn't_ keep his mouth shut.

"Hey, sorry to take off on you like that. But I promise everything is going to be okay. Now do me a favor and tell your sister to back off, okay?"

I saw Seth shoot me a glance, _With pleasure_.

_Say one word and I'll rip your legs off,_ I threatened him. He didn't appear at all afraid of me. Guess all those years of being my tortured younger brother had paid off.

Seth ignored me and shook his head. _I'm sorry for everything everyone is going through. I wish I knew how to fix things._

_Certain things will always remain broken,_ I sighed. Hearts, for one.

_Don't listen to her. She's just cranky,_ Seth shrugged and looked at Edward. _Tell Bella I said to feel better, kay_? Edward nodded silently to acknowledge my brother's kind words. _Everything will work out. It has to._

"Get back to work." Jake shoved Seth playfully. Seth quickly obeyed. Still a suck up.

Edward complimented Jacob on Seth's kind thoughts. I shook my head. He was too nice sometimes. But that's just who he was. When he was four, he gathered up all of the loose change in the house to donate it to a friend of his whose mother had lost her job.

Sometimes it _was_ nice to share thoughts with someone as sweet as Seth. He made me hate myself a little less.

I watched as they disappeared into the house.

_You heard him, Leah, let's get back to work,_ Seth suggested.

_He only said that to you. He didn't give me any orders._

_Because he knows you wouldn't follow them anyway_, he muttered. _Are you going to join me or what?_

_In a minute._ I glanced through the window. Apparently Bella was awake. She and Jake shared a quick "warm fuzzy" moment. Then, I heard Edward thank Jacob for something. I'm not sure for what.

"I've got to, uh…" Bella glanced at Rosalie. "My bladder is a little full."

Apparently all the blood that she had been drinking was running right through Bella. Her new best friend, the blonde, whisked over and helped her to her fat little feet. Her belly was so round and swollen.

Being the klutz that she was, she knocked over a cup, spilling blood all over the place. I choked out a dry heave. Gross!

Then, something in the atmosphere changed. There was a horrible noise that came from inside of her. I could hear it, and I was _outside_. I can't imagine how loud it must have sounded to them. Bella collapsed into Rosalie's arms.

I saw the panicked look in everyone's eyes. Even Blondie was freaking out. The pain on Bella's face was palpable. She opened her mouth and let out a horrifying scream. As much as I disliked her, I felt bad for her. It had to hurt. I heard her start to choke on something and I cowered down. I knew that sound. No one made a noise like that unless they were dying.

Everything happened so quickly. Bella was seizuring in Rosalie's arms. The vampires looked at her helplessly. The pain on Jake's face was too much. I whisked away from the house as fast as my legs would carry me. I wasn't about to stand around and watch Bella die. I couldn't watch Jake go through that.

_Oh no_… Seth whined when he saw my thoughts. He immediately turned around to come here to help in any way that he could.

I stopped him. _Keep running, Seth._

_But Bella…_

_Look, forget her okay? She's half past dead already. There is __nothing__ you can do. Jake needs us to focus right now. It's only a matter of time before Sam's pack finds out what's going on. Who knows what will happen then? We need to be prepared._

I knew that Sam and Jared had been watching us like hawks lately. With this change, they were certain to know something was up.

He knew I was right. And that helped him regain his focus. We were helpless. All we could do was offer Jake some protection against a possible attack. As Seth and I ran in complete silence, I was reminded of Embry, who had been making the border's between the land an awfully comfy place for himself.

Maybe I could talk to him; find out how much Sam knew.

_It's worth a shot._ Seth was in agreement with me, _The more we know, the better._

So I raced to where I had last seen Embry, hoping that he would still be there. Fortunately for us, he was curled up beneath a tree taking a nap. I approached him slowly. He heard me coming and leaped up, unsure of who it was. When he noticed that it was me, he lowered his guard.

_Got a minute_? I knew he understood what I was thinking. He nodded. We found a spot and phased. I threw on the last pair of clothes that I still had. I was kicking myself for throwing those stupid donated vampire outfits downriver.

"How've you been?" He was more cheerful than the last time I saw him.

"Better than ever," I nodded. I had to remember that this was a mission to find out how much they knew. "So Sam didn't completely forbid you from seeing me after that tirade I went on telling you what a terrible leader he was?"

"No, he did," Embry shrugged. "I just didn't listen."

"You rebel you," I chuckled.

"It's getting easier to ignore him. He knows that," Embry said. "The way I figure it, as soon as I can completely pull away from him, I'll be with you guys. Quil's doing the same."

"What about Claire?" I gasped. Surely Quil wouldn't abandon Claire?

"He'll still be there for her," he said. "Because neither of us will have to leave La Push." He heaved a sigh. "Sam's tired of fighting a losing battle. He's agreed that if we do leave, he won't punish us for it."

"Then what the hell are you waiting for?" I encouraged him to join our ranks.

"The right time," Embry responded. I didn't understand what he meant by that. Then I suddenly remembered Bella and the baby. Did they know that it was coming today? Were Embry and Quil waiting to see what kind of monster the child was before becoming loyal to it?

Embry interrupted my thoughts, "How's Jake?"

This would be tricky. I couldn't tell him the truth in case he didn't already know it. He wouldn't be able to hide it from Sam.

"He's up and down. It's hard."

"Yeah, I bet," Embry nodded.

"What's Sam up to lately?" I tried to steer the conversation towards what I wanted to know. God, now I was no different than that moron Bella. I couldn't just bat my eyes and use Embry like this. So I tried honesty. "Forget that question. Can I ask you something? And just be straight with me. What does Sam know?"

"I don't understand what you mean." Embry looked confused. It didn't look like an act.

"What is he planning on doing about Bella and the _Damien_ kid?"

"Nothing's changed." He was more confused than ever.

I felt a sigh of relief. They didn't know anything.

"Why? What's going on?" he questioned.

I quickly had to put my game face back on.

"I wanted to make sure that the treaty was still in affect. I don't want Sam doing something stupid. I don't want my brother and Jacob to get hurt," I rambled nervously. I couldn't reveal too much to him.

"Does this have anything to do with why Jacob ran off earlier today?" Embry questioned. "Sam said that he and Jared saw him hauling ass away from the Cullen's place."

I had to think on my feet, something I knew I wasn't good at.

"I pissed him off," was the first thing that came to mind. Well, I _did_ have a tendency to run guys off. "He just needed to get away for a while. He's fine."

Embry didn't look convinced. Thankfully, I heard Seth howl in the distance. Maybe he was giving me an exit strategy?

"Uh, that's my cue. I gotta go." I looked back to where he had called from.

"Okay," Embry said cheerfully. "I'll see you guys soon."

I quickly undressed and rolled my clothes up against my ankle. I let the heat consume me and hit the ground running.


	21. I never did believe in happy endings

_It's a heartache, nothing but a heartache_

_Hits you when it's too late, hits you when you're down_

_It's a fools game, nothin but a fools game_

_Standing in the cold rain, feelin like a clown._

_"It's a heartache"_

_-Bonnie Tyler_

* * *

**Chapter 21:**

**I never did believe in happy endings**

_Thanks for getting me out of there,_ I said, relieved.

_When I ran past, you seemed to be kind of twitchy,_ Seth explained. _I figured you could use an excuse_.

_Good call. _It was quiet. _Everything ok_ay?

_It's a girl,_ Seth explained. So he _had_ gone back to the house after all. I shrugged. I was too relieved that Sam didn't know what was going on to get angry.

Didn't mean I couldn't still be a smartass.

_Great. Another little whiny, self-sacrificing bitch that doesn't know when to shut up. _Just like her mom. _What's the mutant's name_? I was curious. I know that Bella and Edward had thought the child was a boy, so they only discussed names for boys. They were _so_ certain that the baby would have a little winkie. What _weren't_ they wrong about?

_Don't know. I only got a quick glimpse of her. Rosalie was trying to quiet her down._ He softened his tone._ I think Edward and Jake were working on Bella._

Suddenly, my stomach became a ball of pain. I thought of Jacob. He had to be hurting so badly.

_He hasn't phased back yet. Still no exact orders. Should we go to the Cullen's…_

_No, there's too much going on there right now. We just need to run the perimeters. Sam doesn't know anything, but that doesn't mean he won't find out._ I was starting to let everything sink in.

I felt Seth cower in response to my thoughts of the last time I had seen Bella. To sum it up in four words: She looked like shit. And neither one of us had any clue as to whether or not she had made it.

_Maybe she's…okay, and Jake just doesn't want to leave her._ Seth tried to stay positive.

Or maybe she didn't make it and Jacob had taken off again. It wouldn't have been the first time he'd run away from his pain.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

_Either way, we're without our fearless leader at the moment_.

_So, what do we do_? Seth was concerned. It almost seemed as if he was waiting on orders from _me_.

_What happened to you outranking me_? I teased him.

_I don't know what call to make here, Leah,_ he whimpered.

The best thing we could do was to give Jacob the space he needed and to continue protecting the Cullens.

_You go west and I'll go east. We'll meet in the middle. If you run into trouble, do your best not to get killed_. That was all the advice that I could muster. I wasn't used to leading. And I didn't feel right doing it in Jacob's place. I really hoped that he would be back soon.

Seth and I took shifts running. Four hours each, rest, another four hours, rest again. We ran for nearly 24 hours and still hadn't heard a thing from Jacob. I was tired of giving him his space. He needed to let his pack know what was going on. I couldn't stand waiting anymore. I had to know what he was doing. I had to talk to him.

_Seth, I'm going to the Cullen's. It's been too long. Something is wrong._

_Can't hurt,_ Seth agreed. _I'd kind of like to know what's going on there myself. Every time I get close to the house, I chicken out of going in. I guess I'm afraid of what I might find._

_Well, I'll let you know soon enough._ I raced towards the mansion. The house looked very quiet when I arrived. Should I go as human again, or should I just shout at Edward with my thoughts? After a bit of deliberation, I decided that going on two legs was probably best. Jake hadn't phased back yet and I needed to talk to him. If he was human, the conversation might be a little one-sided.

When I got to the front door, I hesitated. I just felt so vulnerable going into this place while I was a human. I shook past my fears and knocked on the door. No answer. Had they killed Jacob and taken off with the vampire baby? My heart started racing when I pictured Jacob laying dead inside the house somewhere. Screw courtesy; I turned the knob and barged in.

Big mistake. The moment that I entered the living room, I had three angry vampires crouched and ready to attack. But that's not what scared me. The thing that frightened me was that Jacob was in their midst, looking crazed and ready to attack as well.

As soon as they saw that it was me, Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper stiffened up and let down their guard. Apparently, I wasn't a threat. I frowned. Shows how much _they_ knew.

Rosalie was cradling what I had to assume to be little Bella Jr. as she turned away from me, shielding the brat. Jacob eased up, too. I was still too shocked to form a response.

"Leah?" Jacob questioned. "What are you doing here?"

"What the hell? You're protecting the demon kid?" I was shocked.

"It's a long story," Jacob shrugged.

"Well gee, thanks for keeping Seth and I informed." I paused. "I thought you were dead."

"He might be when Bella wakes up," I heard Emmett mumble. Hmm, so she _had_ made it. That would explain Edward's absence. He was probably with her, watching her writhe in pain. What a stupid thing to do to someone you loved. Carlisle was no doubt monitoring her condition. My best guess was that Alice and Esme were with Bella as well. Both were very attached to her.

Rosalie said angrily, "Yes, Emmett, we're all unhappy about Jacob, but Renesmee…" Jacob glared at Rosalie, warning her to shut her mouth. To my surprise, she actually did.

_Renesmee_? Were they freaking kidding me? It wasn't enough that the kid was a demon in human's clothing, did they _want_ her to get her ass kicked on the paranormal playground? What the hell kind of name was that anyway? I scoffed. Probably some idiotic name thought up by Bella. She probably thought she was being creative. Why couldn't people just stick with regular names anymore?

"Twenty bucks says Bella goes for his throat." Emmett seemed pretty sure that Bella would be pissed about something when she woke up. I still wasn't getting it, so I just continued to look at Jacob for an explanation.

I started to let my anger out. How could Jacob not tell us what was going on? It would have been one thing if Bella _had_ died. Then, I could understand he needed time to grieve. But she _wasn't_ dead. Not in the technical sense. And he was spending his time here hanging out with a bunch of bloodsuckers. He couldn't even take two measly minutes to phase and let Seth and I know what was going on?

Jacob could see my frustration. How much I was shaking. And I did feel the anger burning me from the inside. But I had control of myself. Jacob's eyes fluttered around the room nervously. Was he afraid that I would give in to my rage and hurt one of his new _best friends_?

"Don't worry, Jake. The only one in danger here is _you_," I frowned. "How could you keep us in the dark? After all we've done for you?"

"Calm down. Please," he said softly.

"No!" I yelled. The vampires all watched me warily. I was surprised that they didn't sick Jasper on me. He was the one who could control emotions. "I will _not_ calm down! What are you _thinking_, Jacob?"

"Look, I'll explain everything later. Just please go back to running patrols? It's imperative that none of Sam's pack gets through until I have a chance to speak with him personally."

"So, you're going to tell Sam instead of me and Seth? What kind of pack leader are you?" I immediately regretted saying that.

"Outside…now," Jacob growled.

"Why?"

"You want to know what's going on? I'll show you," he said. I had no reason not to listen to him. So I followed him outside. We didn't go very far from the house when he phased. I reluctantly followed.

He hadn't lied to me. He was showing me everything that had happened when Bella crashed. I tried not to pay attention to when her heart stopped beating. Jake gave up after a while. Her heart was done for. He raced out of the room, leaving Edward to play with the corpse.

I saw him glaring at Rosalie, wanting to kill the baby that she was coddling. The child had killed Bella, or so he'd thought at the time. He decided that after all he had done, that Sam was right. The baby should die. It was an abomination. He crouched down, ready to lunge for it.

Then, Rosalie spun around and Jacob looked the creature in the eyes. I felt the warmth in Jacob's thoughts. The heat was incredible. My heart dropped into my stomach as I saw the baby the way that Jacob had, through his eyes.

I was too shocked to say anything. Seth wasn't.

_You…imprinted?_ Seth gasped. _On Bella's baby?_

_Now you see why I haven't been around._

My tongue was still tied in knots. I wanted to scream at him. Tell him what a Grade A moron he was, but I couldn't force any words out. I heard Seth mulling over his thoughts. He seemed to approve.

_If you're happy, Jake, then so am I,_ he shrugged. _You deserve your happy ending, too._

_Thanks, kid. Nessie's a love._

Had he just called the child…_Nessie_? So, Renesmee wasn't _bad_ enough? Now she was a Scottish Monster.

_I never would have dreamed in a million years that imprinting would feel so good,_ Jacob admitted. _I get what all the other guys were raving about now._

Still tongue tied. After all the shit he had given me about imprinting, he was going back on everything he believed in. The whole "falling in love" normally versus having your free-will taken away. His mind was completely changed. Fucking hypocrite.

_Leah, you're being awfully quiet_. Jacob hadn't missed my lack of smart-ass remarks.

Finally, I was able to speak again.

_Emmett's right. Bella __is__ going to kill you._ I paused. _And she would be in the right_. As much as it pained me to side with Bella, I could see how pissed off she would be that Jacob staked a claim on her kid. And what made it worse is that Bella had really yet to even meet her baby. So, when she woke up and found out that Renesmee…_cringe_…what a terrible name, belonged to Jake…she was going to rip his head off.

_She won't. Not when she understands,_ Jacob disagreed.

_The kid is a __mutant__ vampire. I thought you hated it._

I heard a growl escape his teeth, _I'd refrain from talking about Nessie like that if I were you. I __am__ within biting distance._ He threatened me.

_So now you're choosing __vampires__ over your pack_? I questioned.

_You knew this pack wasn't forever, Leah,_ he grumbled.

I felt my heart sink. What did this mean for the future? Jacob had promised me that I wouldn't have to go back to Sam. I was hoping that after everything had passed, that we could go our separate ways while still staying connected mentally. Jake and I were dealt the same hand. We were used to the pain of losing loved ones. I thought that we had made a connection. I had come to consider him an actual _friend_. We just _got_ each other. Now, he was just abandoning me?

He heard my jumbled thoughts and then sighed, _I don't know __what__ the future holds_._ But you will be a part of it. You've helped me more than you'll ever know._

But his words weren't going to make me feel any better. Because I knew that now, he would just pity me anytime we shared the same thoughts. He was abandoning me for some _preschooler_.

_Aw, come on, it's not like that_… Jacob tried to make me feel better.

And there it was. The pity. I didn't want that.

_Whatever. Go back to your new family._ I didn't even glance at him as I raced away from the Cullen's place.

Jacob took my advice and phased back. I ran harder than I normally did. Running had always helped me release my frustration. But it didn't seem to be working. So, I pushed myself past my limits. But the harder I ran, the worse I started to feel. I was doing my best not to let the pain in.

I had almost forgotten about Seth. For some reason, he was being extremely quiet. I was guessing that he didn't know how to deal with my heartache. So I gave him a way out.

_Seth, why don't you go hang with Jacob for a while?_ I suggested.

He was surprised at my request.

_You __want__ me to go hang out with vampires?_ he asked. _Are you sick or something_?

_You know you want to meet the kid. And it will be nice for Jake to have some company there that he can __stand__._

_Okay._ He was still suspicious. I could see through his eyes that he was already close to the Cullen's house.

I felt water starting to burn my eyes. That rarely ever happened with me, especially as a wolf. Werewolves _could_ cry, but it wasn't very often that we did. And me? I _never_ cried.

_Are you going to be okay_? Seth asked softly.

_Just…go…_ I all but begged him.

_But I don't want to leave you if you need me,_ he whined.

_Seth…please…_ I couldn't hold this pain in much longer, but I didn't want to subject my brother to it.

I waited until Seth phased out, and then I let everything go. I didn't want him to feel what I was feeling now. I was so angry at Jacob. I felt completely betrayed. He was the _one_ person on this Earth who understood my pain.

Both of us had expected to be alone for the rest of our lives. We could relate to each other. And I figured that we would be helping one another throughout the rest of our lives. But everything had changed. I didn't matter to him anymore. I didn't matter to _anyone_ anymore.

I had been kicked to the curb so many times that I thought I would have been used to it by now. But apparently, the more it happens, the more it hurts. Sam didn't want me, my dad died, the entire pack hated my guts, and now…Jacob was abandoning me. _No one_ wanted me.

All these unreserved feelings clawed their way to the surface. It was agonizing. As I increased my speed, I felt the giant tears rolling down my snout. I was so angry at myself for giving in to the pain. Damn it. _DAMN IT_! I did _not_ want to do this. I did not want to cry. But it was too late. I couldn't make it stop.

I sobbed as I ran the perimeter, so the surrounding area was blurry in my sight. I didn't pick up anything out of the ordinary. I just ran crying for hours. I cried until I didn't think I had any tears left. And this is why I hated to cry; because once it starts, it _never_ stops.

When I did finally come to a halt, I stood motionless for a moment. I was drained. I had absolutely nothing left. It was a strange feeling, being completely empty. Being _alone_. Seth had said that Jake deserved his happy ending. And not that I was being selfish here, but what about _my_ happy ending? I laughed at the notion that that could actually happen.

All the running and all the emotional turmoil I had been through in the past 24 hours started to take its toll on me. I felt my feet swaying beneath me.

I collapsed on to the ground.

_I am so tired of being alone._

I closed my eyes and waited for all the suffering to end.


	22. I just don't care anymore

_When I ran, I didn't feel like a runaway_

_When I escaped, I didn't feel like I got away_

_There's more to living than only surviving_

_Maybe I'm not there, but I'm still trying_

_Though you hear me, I don't think that you relate_

_My will is something that you can't confiscate_

_"Staring at the sun"_

_-The Offspring_

* * *

**Chapter 22:**

**I just don't care anymore**

It was an odd feeling, having nothing left to care about. I thought that I would have torn Jake a new asshole after finding out about him and Nessie, but instead, I was incredibly calm. _That_ freaked the hell out of me. Where was the fire and rage I was so used to? I had to wonder if the vampires hadn't had Jasper put some kind of voo-doo spell over me to keep my anger at bay. Then I quickly remembered that I _was_ still angry, I just didn't care. I didn't care about anything anymore.

That's not to say that my crying jag didn't help at all. In fact, after I got crying out of the way, I actually felt a hell of a lot better. I was still broken though. In fact, I think Jacob had broken me _more_, if that was even possible. I could tell Seth was concerned about me. He kept asking me if I was okay. I told him I was going to start charging him a dollar every time he asked me that. He just shrugged and told me he had a decent amount of money in his savings account.

When I was calm enough, I took the images that Jake had of Nessie in his head and I reviewed them. I really looked at her the way that he did, with such love and adoration that made it hard for me to hate her. She really was a curious little thing. Kind of cute, too. I felt bad for her though. With such a crybaby mom and a controlling father, she was bound to have issues. What a great society we live in where parents are continuously allowed to fuck up their kids.

Seth and I continued to run perimeters while Jacob spent time with the vampire child. After another day had passed, we felt Jacob phase. I just stayed quiet. I still hadn't worked out exactly what I wanted to say to him yet.

_Jake_! Seth was excited.

I don't know why he was so thrilled. He spent more time at the Cullen's with Jake than he did as a wolf. But that was fine by me. I just ran the border's myself, chatted with Embry when I got the chance (leaving out Jake's whole imprinting fiasco, of course), and focused my attention on keeping the _vampires_ safe. I was still loyal to Jake, whether he wanted me to be or not.

_How's Nessie? She still growing?_ Seth asked for an update.

_Unnaturally fast_. I could tell that Jacob was nervous about that. Even though it had only been two days since the child's birth, she was already the size of a three-month-old. And the fact that they didn't know anything about her kind, being that she was half vampire, and half human, they weren't sure what the future held for her.

_I'm sure Carlisle will figure out what's going on,_ Seth nodded.

I pushed myself to agree, _Yeah._ Wait, I thought I was pissed at him. Why was I trying to make him feel better?

Jacob was more stunned at my kindness than I was. He and I hadn't spoken since I ran away from him. Seth was getting our orders from him when he visited the Cullen's. I _had_ had some time to get over my anger. Maybe running and crying had done me more good than I'd realized.

_So, you're not mad at me anymore_? Jacob questioned.

_Oh, no, I'm still plenty angry at you. But I don't blame the baby_.

I felt Jacob smile. _Aw, you're finally calling her a baby instead of mutant. That's a big step, Leah._

He was already annoying me. I grumbled, _I was getting so used to you not being in my head. Where are you running to anyway_? I could see through his eyes that he was actually _leaving_ the Cullen's place. Kind of shocking considering it pained him to be away from Nessie. Damn it, now he had _me_ calling the kid that.

I felt Jake immediately tense up when he gave his response, _It's time that I talked to Sam._

Seth and I both stopped in our tracks. We knew that he would need back up if he was going to see Sam. Considering how badly _I_ had taken the news that Jacob was in love with a little vampire baby, I can't imagine what Sam's reaction would be. He wouldn't hurt Nessie, the law wouldn't let him. One of the only laws that all werewolves had to follow was that no wolf could _ever_ hurt another wolf's mate. But just because Nessie was safe didn't mean that Jake was. Lately, it didn't seem like Sam had very good control of his temper. He'd gone crazy with power before Jacob, Seth, and I took off. Who knows what he was like now? He might kill Jacob on the spot.

_Keep running the perimeters. This is something I need to do alone._ Jacob shook his head.

_You're not __that__ stupid, are you?_ I shook my head. _You can't go alone._

_I'm not going to involve the two of you in this. Now just do what I say._ It still wasn't an order. Jake had yet to use his Alpha command on me and Seth. He didn't ever want to use it. He knew how badly it felt to be under someone else's rule. That's not something he wanted to put us through ever again.

_I think I can hold my own against Sam Uley._ If that was all he was worried about, I didn't consider it a problem. I knew where _all_ his weak spots were. And now that I wasn't under Sam's rule anymore, I could use that against him.

_I'm not going anticipating a fight._ Jacob sounded pretty calm.

Yeah, he wasn't going looking for a fight at Bella's wedding either, and that had almost ended up in a death match.

_But Jake…_ Seth whined.

_I need you guys to make sure Nessie stays safe. Keep running._

I didn't like Jacob going to see Sam alone, but it's what he wanted to do. So I was going to respect his wishes…kind of. I pushed my perimeter out so I would be close to the boundary line, no doubt where they would be meeting. I wouldn't interfere in their conversation, but I would be close enough, so that if it did turn into a fight, I could back him up.

Jacob knew exactly what I was thinking, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he just sighed and ignored me. He got to the boundary line in record time. He was probably running as fast as his legs would carry him so he could get back to Nessie quickly. I could feel how hard it was for him to be away from her. It was causing _actual_ pain. It was the same kind of pain that he'd had over losing Bella, but _worse_. It was like half of his heart was missing.

As expected, Sam was waiting for him. He was alone. I couldn't believe that he'd leave himself unprotected against an attack. I wondered if he had an ambush waiting in the trees.

_It's always worst case scenario with you, isn't it, Leah_? Seth didn't like my pessimism.

_It's called thinking outside the box. If you look at things from all angles, then sometimes you can stop bad things from happening._ I tried to explain my view to my brother.

I went back to what Sam _could_ have planned. If Jacob stepped out of line and Sam wanted to fight, he would probably have chosen Jared and Paul to be his flanks. They would be the two who wouldn't have a problem fighting Jacob. I'm sure Quil and Embry would refuse to do it. And if Sam knew they were already thinking about leaving the pack, then he wouldn't want to do anything to push them further away. Collin and Brady weren't very skilled at fighting yet, so that just left the other two obvious choices. But could they go through with the fight? If Sam was capable of doing something _that_ heartless, then everything I thought I knew about him was untrue.

_Would you relax, Leah? I'm not going to get killed._ He paused. _Besides, I've kicked Paul's __and__ Jared's asses more than once._

I watched from a distance as Sam and Jacob approached each other slowly. Neither of them phased, which I found rather odd. They needed to have a conversation that didn't consist of "bark, bark, growl, growl."

I heard footsteps behind me. Someone on two feet. I spun around and saw Embry walking towards me, hands up submissively. I still didn't lower my guard. Even though Embry and I were slowly becoming friends, he was still a part of Sam's pack. And I was part of Jacob's. We were still on opposing teams, and our Alpha's were just down the road within biting distance of each other.

"Hey, relax. It's just me." Embry smiled nervously. "Wanna phase so we can talk?"

Then I started to wonder, what if revenge was the key here? They obviously couldn't take their anger out on Nessie or the vampires, so what if destroying Jacob's pack is what Sam had in mind? They could easily manipulate me through Embry. I looked into his eyes and realized how silly I was being. He wouldn't go through with anything to hurt us.

Still, I let him know that I was concerned about Jacob and Sam. I turned my head towards where they were staring at each other and let out a whimper.

"Oh, yeah, that…" Embry shrugged. "Wouldn't know anything about it. Sam forced us all to phase. He wanted to talk to Jake alone."

Hmm, I guess Alpha's think alike. Jacob had been pretty adamant that he go to see Sam alone as well. Though, he hadn't gone as far as to make Seth and I phase out.

"So am I going to have a one way conversation with myself here or are you going to join me on two feet?"

I glanced down the hill to the clearing where Sam and Jacob were still just gazing at each other. It actually looked pretty boring. Jacob knew I was here, so as long as I stayed within howling range, I couldn't see the harm.

_Seth, howl if you need anything, kay_? I let him know what I was up to.

_Tell Embry I said 'hi.'_

I nodded my head to let Embry know that I was going to phase and put my clothes on. As I disappeared into the trees, I phased back and got dressed. This outfit was getting pretty worn down with all the running that I had been doing.

"Wow." Embry noticed my ratty hair. I'm sure I looked like a mess. I hadn't had a shower in over a week. "You could use a hairbrush."

I laughed, "Shut up, Call."

He grinned widely at me, something I had come to expect from him. Even though he was still under Sam's command, he seemed pretty happy. I wondered why that was.

"Oh, I brought you something." Embry jogged over to the bushes.

"If you bring me a dead bird in your mouth, I will break one of your arms."

"That's cats…" Embry shook his head. "Dogs fetch slippers…or in this case," he came back into view carrying a backpack, "clothes. I figured you were running low." He handed it to me.

"Did you go through my stuff?" I dug through the backpack. I wasn't as angry as I thought I would be.

"No. Your mom gathered it for you. I'm just the messenger," he shrugged. "There should be some stuff in there for Seth, too."

I dug around a little deeper and found a pair of sweatpants at the bottom. God bless her. My mom was a saint.

"How's she doing?" I questioned.

"Well, I'm apparently her new best friend since I'm the only one in the pack who talks to you and gets updates for her on you and Seth."

"She's using you to spy on me?"

"Basically," he nodded.

"That's my mom." I smiled proudly. She was so crafty. I looked at the bag. It was just like her to still be taking care of Seth and I even though she couldn't come around us right now. I decided right then that as soon as this blew over, I _would_ go back to La Push. And the first thing I would do when I got there would be to walk through my front door and embrace my mother in the world's longest hug.

"She wanted me to tell you that she loves you and Seth. And to come home when you get the chance." He paused. "And there was something else…" He pulled a scrap piece of paper out of his pocket. He glanced at it. "Oh, yeah. She supports you two." He chuckled. "That kind of pissed the other Elders off. They wanted her to admit that what you, Jake, and Seth are doing is wrong. But she stood her ground and was adamant that you thought you were doing what was right."

It made me feel better that my mother wasn't wallowing over the fact that we had abandoned the pack.

I glanced down the hill and saw that Jacob and Sam were no longer in sight. I wonder if they had phased and were speaking somewhere as human. Embry noticed my wandering eyes.

"Don't worry. Sam didn't seem very angry when he asked us to phase. I'm sure they're just talking."

"_Until_ Jacob tells him what's going on…" I mumbled to myself.

"Why? What's going on?"

I pondered whether or not I should tell Embry everything. Oh well, Jacob was here to tell Sam about Nessie. What harm could it possibly do?

"Jacob imprinted," I blurted out.

Embry's face stayed blank. I wish I could tell what was going on in his head.

"Just happened yesterday." I started to prattle on.

Still nothing.

"Embry? Say something before I hurt you!" I threatened.

"He imprinted?"

"Yeah."

"On Bella?" Embry guessed. "I bet Edward's _pissed_. Unless…" He gasped. "Holy crap, did he _kill_ the vampire so he could have Bella!" He continued his theory. "Did he kill the baby, too! Did he imprint to save her?"

I could see where Embry would have made that assumption. I hadn't really clarified anything before opening my big mouth.

"Okay, let's rewind for a second here." I slowed him down. "First of all, Jacob didn't kill _anyone_." I had to laugh at the fact that less than a month ago, I had been wishing that Jacob _had_ killed Edward at the wedding. I still didn't like him, but I was kind of glad that Jake hadn't ripped him to pieces. "Second, Bella had the baby." I saw Embry flinch when I mentioned that. They were apparently still afraid of it.

I hadn't ever met Nessie personally, but so far, from what I had gathered from Jacob's and Seth's thoughts, she didn't seem like much of a threat. I just hoped it would continue to stay that way.

"So is Bella…" Embry searched for a way to ask if Bella was still alive.

"She'll be a Cullen by tomorrow afternoon." I cringed at the thought. It had been peaceful without her around. I didn't want to get used to the fact that after tomorrow, she would be back in Jacob's mind, so I would be forced to deal with her again

"Well, if it wasn't Bella, who is it that Jake's in love with?" he asked curiously. There seemed to be an edge in his voice. My guess was that he was afraid that Jake had imprinted on another one of the Cullens.

"Bella's daughter."

"He imprinted on a _vampire_?" Embry's eyes got wide. "Man, no wonder you followed him out here. Sam's liable to kill him…"

I had to remind myself to tell Seth "I told you so" when I phased back. I wasn't the only one who thought that Jacob's death would be the outcome today.

"She's only half vampire. She's half human, too," I explained. I couldn't believe that I was defending her.

He shook his head. "How is that even possible? A vampire getting a human pregnant? That sounds like a badly written romance novel."

He had a point. I still didn't understand Nessie's existence.

"Is he happy?" he asked quietly.

Of course he was happy. He was happier than I had ever seen him.

"Yes." There was no doubt in my mind about that.

"Well then, congrats all around," Embry shrugged.

I thought for a moment. Geeze, his reaction made me feely really shitty about my reaction. Both Embry and Seth were willing to accept the fact that their best friend imprinted on someone that had vampire blood in her. That made me see how selfish I had been. Jacob did deserve his happy ending. Even if it was with a hybrid weirdo.

"What's her name?" he questioned.

I couldn't contain my laughter as I answered, "Renesmee. But everyone calls her Nessie."

He howled along with me in laughter. "Are you serious? That's fan-freaking-tastic! Oh man, we might not be able to hurt her, but we can sure as hell teach Claire how to make fun of her name and then set the two of them up on a playdate…"

I knew Quil was going to thrash him for even _joking_ about that.

Embry and I laughed about Nessie for a bit longer. After a while, the situation _did_ seem pretty funny. First, Jacob wanted to _kill_ the baby so Bella could live, then he wanted to _protect_ the baby so Bella wouldn't die, and now he was in love with the thing he had hated most in the world.

We both stopped laughing at the same time. Jacob came jogging out of the trees and we heard Sam howl from a distance.

"Guess he's calling a meeting," Embry shrugged. He smiled again, "Wonder how everyone else will take the news."

"Twenty bucks says Paul overreacts," I offered.

"I might as well give you the twenty now. That's a guarantee." He looked to where Sam had called from. "Gotta run." He waved as he started jogging away.

As I watched Embry running away, I grabbed the backpack and took off in the opposite direction. It wouldn't take me long to catch up to Jacob. I was dying to find out what Sam had said. I tossed the bag down, threw my clothes off, and phased. Then I picked the bag up in my teeth and ran after Jacob.


	23. Oh, Joy Family Bonding

_Do you ever feel like breaking down?_

_Do you ever feel out of place?_

_Like somehow you just don't belong_

_And no one understands you_

_Do you ever wanna run away?_

_Do you lock yourself in your room?_

_With the radio on turned up so loud that no one hears you screaming_

_No you don't know what it's like_

_When nothing feels alright_

_You don't know what it's like to be like me_

_"Welcome to my Life"_

_-Simple Plan_

* * *

**Chapter 23:**

**Oh Joy, Family Bonding**

I learned pretty quickly that the conversation between Jacob and Sam was pretty dull. The most interesting thing about it is that neither one of them had ever phased out. Apparently, Alpha's could communicate with each other when they were in their wolf form. It wasn't the same as when you spoke to the pack. Jacob explained it like it was on a different frequency channel. What was he? A CB radio?

Sam had waved the white flag. I always knew he'd pussy out. They were officially no longer interested in killing the Cullens or Nessie. Once Jacob explained to Sam about his imprinting on Nessie, Sam had no choice but to call off his troops. In fact, he went as far as to telling Jacob that we were all welcome back in La Push any time that we wanted. That would make our situation a little easier. To my surprise, Sam also went back to the Cullen's place with Jacob to talk to Carlisle about renewing the treaty.

Seth and I went back to say a quick hello to our mother as soon as we had heard the news that we wouldn't be killed for crossing into town. She was so ecstatic to see us. I gave her that big hug I had been craving to give her. She fixed us a big spaghetti dinner. It felt great to be able to eat _real_ food again.

"It is so great to see you guys. I've been worried about you." My mother doted on us.

Seth cowered down a little. He looked guilty as hell.

"I'm sorry, mom."

"Ha. Mama's boy." I mumbled as I slurped down my noodles. She glared a warning at me.

"I certainly hope you're nicer to him when you guys are running together," she frowned at me.

I smiled innocently, "Of course. Right, Seth?"

He gave me an odd look, and then shook his head. "No."

I kicked him under the table. He barely even flinched as he twirled some more spaghetti on his plate.

"I hope we didn't freak you out too much when we ran off." I glanced at her to see what her reaction would be.

She didn't look upset or angry. She just smiled back at me. Thank God she didn't freak out.

"I understood once I read your note. Though…you could have gone easier on the colorful language. Some of the things you wrote about Sam…" She suddenly remembered that Seth was at the table, too. "Well, needless to say that I could tell you were angry when you wrote it."

I smirked when I thought of the letter. I _had _been angry when I was translating my thoughts on to the paper. I think I had scribbled something in there about Sam being a butt-fucking asshat. I bet my mother had laughed when she read that. She was used to my foul mouth, so it didn't really bother her. Every now and then she'd tell me to watch my language in front of Seth, which I found hilarious considering he belonged to a pack of werewolves who were constantly swearing.

After dinner mom walked us out. She knew that we couldn't stay long. Bella was due to wake up from her little vampire trance any minute now. And Seth and I wanted to be there in case she flew off the handle at Jacob for imprinting on her baby.

Seth embraced her in a tight hug. When he let her go, I saw her gasp for air. Sometimes Seth forgot his strength.

"Thanks for dinner, mom. It was really awesome." He smiled. "And thanks for not freaking out about…well, you know…_everything_. I really love you."

"You're my son, Seth. I will support you no matter what you do." She pat his shoulder. I looked at the two of them standing next to each other. Wow, had he _grown_? He looked so much larger than he had a few days ago. Guess it was that wolf gene really kicking in.

"What if he runs off to Vegas, marries a stripper, and starts gambling on street corners? How much support would he get _then_?" I couldn't help but be a smart ass.

My mom just rolled her eyes at me and hugged Seth again.

"You two promise me you'll be careful."

"Of course," Seth piped happily.

I reached in to hug her again. She grabbed my cheeks and kissed my forehead. "And _you_…watch your temper."

"I'm working on it," I said sincerely. "Hey, do me a favor. Take care of Charlie. The coming weeks aren't going to be easy for him." I was also suggesting this so she wouldn't be home alone all the time. Charlie would be good company for her with me and Seth gone.

I could see from my mom's expression that he was already having a difficult time. Once he got the news that Bella had "died", he was going to be devastated.

"Billy and I are doing all we can to keep his spirits up."

"_All_ you can?" I gave my mother a suggestive glance. I figured the insinuation would go right over Seth's head.

"Leah…" My mom smacked my arm to scold me.

"I love you, mom." I kissed her cheek.

"Love you, too."

Seth and I jumped off of the porch and started to walk towards the woods.

"Take care of your brother!" she called after me.

"Aw, mom…" Seth frowned disapprovingly. He apparently didn't _need_ my protection.

I laughed, "What do you think I've been doing for the last two weeks?" I questioned. I looked at Seth. "You probably would have been vampire chow had I not come around…"

"Yeah, right," I heard him mumble.

Seth and I glanced back at our mom before disappearing into the woods to phase. We ran back to the Cullen's place with mom on our mind.

_You think she's really okay with this_? Seth questioned.

_Seth, it's __mom__. If she was unhappy, we'd know, believe me._ I hadn't just _acquired_ my temper problems out of the blue. When my mom was unhappy, she let us know.

_Good point._

When we got to the Cullen's, we laid in wait. Jacob had said something to us about Edward taking Bella out to hunt after she woke up. Jake had this _brilliant_ plan that he would interact with Bella first to see if she could handle being around someone with a beating heart before they let her anywhere near Nessie.

We didn't have to wait very long. Apparently, Bella had come out of her coma almost an hour ago. Edward had immediately taken her hunting so it would decrease the chance of her wanting to eat their baby.

What was she? Some kind of Praying Mantis?

_That's the mate_, Seth interrupted my thoughts.

_Huh?_

_Praying Mantis's don't eat their young, they eat their mates._

Yeah, because that was _so_ much better. My brother, the science nerd. I suddenly smiled thinking of Bella as a giant insect devouring Edward's head. That would be funny to watch.

I scrunched my nose up in disgust when I smelled them coming through the trees.

_I'm telling you, this is a bad plan._ I shook my head.

_That's why we're here. If Bella overreacts, we can help subdue her._ Seth tried to make me feel better.

_Still doesn't make this idea any less idiotic._ Bella was an unpredictable newborn.

I watched as Edward soothingly spoke to Bella like she was some moronic two-year-old. I laughed. She certainly had the capacity of a two-year-old.

"Careful, Jacob." Edward warned him. I couldn't believe that Edward was _cautioning_ Jacob. Even after Jacob had imprinted on his daughter, he still didn't want him to get hurt. Or maybe he just didn't want Bella to feel bad that she had killed him. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea."

_Here, here._ I actually agreed with the vampire.

_You're taking Edward's side in this_? Seth was amazed.

_Jacob is an idiot who doesn't think things through. Anyone with a brain would be able to see that this isn't going to end well._ Well, that explained it. "Anyone with a brain." Jake didn't have brains...

I watched as the situation registered on Bella's face. She understood that if she was able to not attack Jacob, she would be able to be in the same room as her daughter. She looked horrified at first.

"Well, it's your neck." Edward shrugged as if he had suddenly changed his mind. He didn't seem to care anymore.

_Watch it, you fucking leech,_ I snarled at Edward. I knew he could hear me. _If your snotty little wife lays a hand on him, I'll rip you both to shreds_.

Edward just ignored my hostility. But I had gotten Bella's attention. I saw her glancing around looking for where the growl had come from.

_Over here, dipshit,_ I snarled again, letting my growl echo through the trees.

I saw her deliberating in her head. She watched Jacob carefully. He looked oddly at ease considering that he was about to royally piss her off. Bella looked incredibly confused as she took one step forward.

Jacob tried to lighten the mood. "Damn, Bella, you're a total freak show." He waved his hand across his nose. "Phew, you stink."

Why the hell was he antagonizing the vampire? Bella smiled at the joke, while Edward mumbled to himself. That jackass had _no_ sense of humor. I watched as Bella and Jacob teased each other back and forth.

I couldn't help myself as I mocked the both of them, _Oh, I'm a manipulative little whore who always gets my way. I love you, Jacob. No I don't. Okay, yes I do. Okay, now I don't again,_ I said in a high pitched voice. I quickly lowered it to joke about Jacob's response, _I'm a manipulator, too. Only I'm more sly about it. I love you, too. Oh no, wait, I'm just kidding. I don't. I love your infant child_.

Bella quickly became suspicious that Jacob and Edward were hiding something from her. I barked a laugh.

"What's going on? I feel like you two are keeping secrets from me…" Ha! If she only knew…

_Maybe we should tell her that he and Edward are gay lovers. She might take that a little bit better than the actual truth._

Seth couldn't help but snicker. But we both snapped to attention when Jacob slowly started to walk towards Bella. I hated to see him put himself in such a dangerous situation. I whimpered as I walked forward out of the shadows. Seth quickly followed my lead.

_That's close enough, Jacob,_ I warned him.

_Yeah, she's doing good so far. No need to push her too fast._ Seth nodded in agreement with me.

"You two stay out of this," Jacob scolded us. He walked past us. I ignored his comment as I followed him slowly. Seth did the same. "Come on, Bells, do your worst."

_I don't think she can be any worse than she already is,_ I hissed.

She grabbed on to her dopey husband for support as she took in a small breath. I tensed up, ready to leap on top of her and rip her apart if I needed to. I smiled. I kind of hoped that I would need to.

But, she had no interest in Jacob's blood at all. She seemed very proud of herself. I rolled my eyes. Big whoop, a vampire who didn't want to drink a werewolf's blood; like that was anything special?

Seth loped forward to bark happily at how well this had gone. I shrugged and backed up a few steps. The rest of the vampires weren't far away. I didn't want to be in the middle of the big happy vampire reunion.

Edward and Bella slowly walked towards the house, but Jacob quickly jumped in front of them. He wasn't convinced that Bella would be able to contain her thirst. Edward argued that Bella has passed Jacob's test. I watched in amusement as Bella's confusion washed over her stone face.

_For God's sake, just let her see the kid before she finds out about Jacob's claim on her,_ I mumbled to myself. _He can't really be __that__ concerned. There's seven vampires and three werewolves here. I don't think even a __newborn__ can overpower all of us._

I could see the paranoia on Jacob's face as he bolted into the house. He looked guilty, and Bella was going to see right through that. It wouldn't be long before she knew the truth behind Jacob's overprotection.

They disappeared into the house and Seth followed. I just lingered outside of the door. It was hard enough to be around the entire lot of them. At least outside the house I felt a little less claustrophobic.

I watched as Nessie saw her mother for the first time. She was tight in Rosalie's arms. Out of all of the vampire's in the house, they thought Nessie would be _safest_ with Rosalie? The kid would probably be better off in a cave by herself somewhere.

Nessie pat Rosalie's neck, communicating with her. The little demon child had been born with this special power to talk through thoughts that she was seeing in her head. I had seen it used on Jacob a few times. It was really weird. But, a lot of vampire's had talents. I thought about which talent I would have wanted to get stuck with.

I already knew how much reading thoughts sucked. I don't think I'd want to see the future either, because it would just depress the hell out of me. And that poor empathic Jasper was in constant distress absorbing other people's emotions. Though on the flip side, it would be cool to manipulate what people were feeling. And Lord knows I could use that kind of calming down a lot of the time.

_And how_… Seth agreed that I had anger issues.

Considering the family that she had been born into, I guess Nessie's ability wasn't so bad after all.

I watched as the entire group of vampires and Jacob jumped in front of Nessie protectively. Alice was the only one giving Bella any credit. Damn, I was really starting to like that eccentric little dark haired vampire.

Bella promised that she was okay. The family didn't seem convinced. Edward began to brag about how Bella had been able to resist a hiker's scent when they were hunting. My jaw flapped open in shock when the normally passive Carlisle actually _scolded_ Edward and called him irresponsible.

That did it. I started snorting out my laughter. Edward was getting reamed out by his daddy. How freaking funny was _that_? And here I thought that being at the Cullen's today was going to be miserable.

"She held her breath and ran away…" Edward explained to his family what had happened to the hikers. They all immediately praised her for not killing the humans. Big deal, millions of people manage not to _murder_ others every day. I tuned them out as I got sick of hearing the "ohhs and ahhs" from the rest of the vampires.

Once Jasper was convinced that Bella wasn't a threat, he moved aside so she could meet her daughter. Jacob was standing within _inches_ of Rosalie. Wow, was the pull between him and Nessie _that_ strong that he could completely ignore the fact that he was shoulder to shoulder with the blonde bitch we both hated?

I tensed up as Rosalie moved forward with Nessie. Jacob had his hand on the small of Nessie's back. And when she started fussing, he was the first one that reached for her.

_You better pull back Jake before she figures it out,_ I mumbled.

"Give her here," Jacob said to Rosalie. She made a face at him, but handed him the baby. Bella's jaw dropped. Nessie twisted in Jacob's arms trying to get to her mother.

_Easy, kid. You've got your whole life to be coddled by her,_ I grumbled.

Bella looked freaked out that Jacob was shaking. She probably didn't know that he was trembling out of fear, not out of anger. It made me laugh again to think that Bella was concerned that Jacob might _hurt_ Nessie. As Bella reached for her, Jake didn't let go. It wouldn't be long now before Bella understood why Jacob was being so defensive. I got ready to pounce.

Bella cooed when she found out her child was talented. Nessie had apparently showed her pictures of her birth. That must have been weird. I sure wouldn't want to relive _my_ birth. Ew.

Jacob started to get anxious.

"Haven't we experimented enough for one day?" He tried to pull Nessie back to him.

_Uh oh, here it goes._ Seth thought the exact same thing I did.

I let out a low growl when Edward and Rosalie threatened Jacob. But my attention suddenly shifted to Bella's face. It was a mixture or horror and anger. She knew.

Jacob yanked Nessie out of Bella's arms and quickly surrendered her to Rosalie. He knew what was coming, and he needed to get Nessie out of the way. He didn't want to see her hurt.

Bella started throwing a hissy fit. Nothing we hadn't expected._ "She's mine. Wah, wah, wah. I'm going to kill you. Growl, growl, growl."_ Jacob nearly tripped over me as he hauled ass out of the house. Seth was right behind him. Bella was on both of their tails.

"How _dare_ you!" Bella screamed angrily. Seth and I were instantly at Jacob's side.

_Oh, hell no. It's on, bitch,_ I snapped at Bella, letting her know that Jacob was not _completely_ vulnerable here. He wouldn't phase to protect himself because he couldn't stand the thought of hurting Bella. But I had _no_ problem sinking my teeth into her. Bella snarled back. Hmm, so the bitch did have some balls after all.

Jacob seemed determined to handle this on his own. "Back off, Leah."

_No fucking way._ I didn't move.

Jacob threw his hands up and tried desperately to explain to Bella what was going on. She wasn't listening. Guess _that_ hadn't changed. She never was one to actually listen to him.

I heard Esme whimper out to Edward to stop Bella from hurting Jake. Interesting. I would add Esme to the "do not kill" list along with Alice and Carlisle.

"You are going to stay away from her," Bella snapped at Jacob. So, she was still selfish, too. She knew how impossible it was for a werewolf to stay away from the person they've imprinted on. Yet, she wanted to cause Jacob that anguish? Jake was right, she really _did_ get a kick out of his pain.

"Come on, Bells. Nessie likes me, too," Jacob insisted.

I saw the anger flush across her face. Guess she didn't like the nickname that Jake had given her daughter. Hell, it was better than _Renesmee_.

"You nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness Monster?" Bella screamed.

Everything happened so quickly. I saw Bella leap forward. Jacob was still human, and he wasn't going to phase.

_Jake, watch out_! Seth cried. He lunged forward. Between the two of us, he was closer to Jacob.

_Seth, NO!_ I screamed. But it was too late. He put himself between the angry vampire and Jacob. I was suddenly reminded of my mother's last words to me, "Look after your brother."

Shit, she was going to kill me.


	24. Why are all of my friends idiots?

_I wake up, it's a bad dream_

_No one on my side_

_I was fighting_

_But I just feel to tired to be fighting_

_"Bad Dream"_

_-Keane_

* * *

**Chapter 24:**

**Why are all my friends idiots?**

It was like watching a horror movie in slow motion. Bella lunged for Jacob's throat, but Seth put himself in front of him protectively. Bella couldn't stop herself as she threw her arms out angrily. There was an agonizing _snap_ before he went sailing across the yard. I saw the pain on Jacob's face when he realized that Seth was hurt.

_Seth!_ I was at his side instantly, _Seth, you okay_?

I heard him moan in pain, but he tried to sound tough, _I think so. Something's broken, though._

I was seeing red. That god damn vampire. I was going to _kill_ her. I turned to face her and let out a snarl.

Jacob quickly stopped me. "Leah, don't."

Was he fucking kidding me? She had just _attacked_ my brother.

"She didn't mean it…" Jacob defended her.

_Oh, well then that makes it __all__ better,_ I snarled sarcastically.

_I'm fine, Leah. Really._ Seth struggled to stand up. I could see that he wasn't bearing weight on his right front leg.

"Seth, are you alright?" Jacob asked calmly. Seth nodded his head, but I saw him wince in pain. "I'm sorry. I wouldn't have expected you to do that. It was...incredibly noble…and stupid…" He added. _Really_ god damn stupid.

_You're welcome,_ Seth frowned.

Almost immediately, I heard Bella apologizing, "Seth, oh my God, I didn't see you. I didn't know you were going to…I'm just…I am so sorry…" And she _did_ sound remorseful. Of course, maybe she was just afraid that I would tear her limbs off if she didn't apologize.

Carlisle was trying to assess Seth's injuries. "It would be a lot easier to treat you if you phased."

_You got it, Doc,_ Seth groaned out through the pain.

Feeling my brother's pain was enraging me. When he phased, the pain was gone, but it still didn't help me get rid of my rage. It was taking every ounce of self-control I had not to bite Bella's miserable head right off of her stupid vampire body. Esme quickly threw a blanket over Seth and helped him into the house. Carlisle followed. I heard the X-Ray machine whirring in the house. I wasn't sure what to do.

"Leah, Carlisle will take care of him. Why don't you release some steam by running a little?" Jacob suggested.

I shook my head. No way I was leaving Seth now. Even though I knew Carlisle would take care of my brother, there was no guarantee that Bella wouldn't freak out again. And if she did, this time, I wasn't going to sit and wait for Jacob to tell me it was okay to attack her. If she even _looked_ at Seth or Jake the wrong way, I would claw her eyes out.

I glanced through the door. Seth was on the couch, and Carlisle was measuring his arm for a brace.

"You sure it's the shoulder, Doc?" Seth questioned.

"And the collar bone," Carlisle nodded. Damn, that X-Ray processed fast. I had always wondered how Carlisle had gotten permission to bring home the whole Radiology Lab. _Sooo…I'm just going to drag this X-Ray machine home, that's cool, right?_ As if it were normal to lug that kind of machinery home and have it laying around your house.

Carlisle glanced at Bella and then back to Seth. "You're fortunate it wasn't worse." I saw him glare at Edward. The look he gave his son was that of one who was disappointed. So Carlisle thought Edward had _let_ this happen. I was on the same page as the bloodsucker…I mean, Carlisle. Damn it, I _was_ starting to like him.

I heard the phone ring. It was still laughable to me that the vampire's had a phone line. I heard Esme's soft voice whisper something about answering.

"Let it ring," Edward disagreed.

"It's probably Charlie." Carlisle sounded concerned. I could tell by the tone in his voice that he didn't like keeping things from Charlie. Guess that was the father in him.

"We still have nothing to tell him," Edward shrugged.

I heard Esme sigh. Guess she didn't like lying to Charlie either. Who knew vampires had morals?

A few minutes later Esme, Alice, and Emmett disappeared to hunt. Rosalie stayed behind. She and Jacob were trying to keep Nessie calm.

I looked back inside the house.

Edward bowed his head.

"I'm sorry Seth. This is my fault." Damn straight it was. Edward looked like he felt terrible. I sighed. As much as I hated him, and couldn't stand the fact that Seth was hurt, it really _wasn't_ Edward's fault. I had seen him jump forward pretty quickly to pull Bella away from Seth and Jacob. Besides, it wasn't _his_ strength and temper that had broken Seth's shoulder and collar bone.

_So much for keeping Seth from doing something idiotic and impulsive,_ I sighed.

Maybe it wasn't all bad. I tried Seth's way of seeing the good in things. Maybe now that Bella had attacked him, Seth would be able to see the dangers of associating with vampires.

That theory lasted all of about two seconds. I heard Seth tell Bella that he didn't hold anything against her. He was _forgiving_ her? My brother was such an idiot sometimes. I felt my body burning with fury. I had to cool myself down before overheating. I jogged to the river behind the Cullen's house and leaped in. The water was cool and refreshing against my fur.

After a few minutes of absorbing the relaxing current, I hopped out and shook the water out of my fur. Then, I went right back to worrying about my brother. I started pacing along the river. I glanced at the back window of the house, trying to see if I could see what was going on. Had Carlisle fixed him up yet? Where was he?

I saw Bella glide by the window. She noticed me pacing.

_You are so damn lucky that that window is between us, bitch,_ I snarled. I knew she couldn't hear me, but I was sure the glare spoke for itself. For a moment, I wished that _she_ was the freak that could read minds and not her stupid dead husband.

I was overheated again. I hated that Seth was so comfortable with the vampires. That is what had gotten him hurt in the first place.

I could hear Jacob bickering with Rosalie about whose turn it was to hold Nessie.

"It's too bad she _isn't_ venomous to you," Rosalie murmured.

"You're just jealous because _you_ can't bite me. You know you want me." Jacob knew that would irk Rosalie. It did. She growled.

I heard Jasper speaking to Bella inside, telling her that everything was okay, and that no one was angry with her.

_Speak for yourself, bloodsucker._ I let out a loud snarl.

I trotted back towards the house to check on Seth. As I made my way back, I could hear the edge in Bella's voice fade. And I could feel the atmosphere around me calming. Jasper must be working his mojo. That calming thing he could do was more convenient than Pot and Valium combined.

I looked in the window and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Seth snoring comfortably on the couch.

_Guess Doc gave him some good pain meds_, I shrugged.

I heard shuffling around outside the door. Jacob and Rosalie came inside, carrying Nessie. Oh goody, it was time to play "measure the spawn" again. Since Nessie was growing so fast, they did all kinds of tests on her to see how much she was changing. I thought it was really stupid. Babies are _constantly_ changing, and she was half vampire, so I'm sure that she was going to go through some interesting phases of growing.

"It's time to measure Ness…" Carlisle stopped short of finishing that sentence and quickly used her full name. I chuckled. Was he _afraid_ of Bella? I guess Bella really did seem to hate that name. I smiled. Bingo. Something to antagonize the hell out of her with. If there was ever a reason for me to talk to her as a human again, I would see how many times I could squeeze "Nessie" into the sentence just to piss her off.

I watched as they carefully explained to Bella about Nessie's growth spurts. She looked terrified. I liked that look on her. I imagine her face would look something like that if I lunged for her throat.

After the kid was done being measured, it was time for her to sit in her mommy's arms and gossip about everything she had seen since she was born. Bella watched with stupid facial expressions.

Then, in a flash, Edward snatched Nessie away from Bella. Great, he was going to be controlling with his daughter too. Macho jerk. After Edward explained he had overreacted to some thought that Nessie had shared with Bella, he quickly surrendered the baby back to her. Bella cooed like an idiot. I couldn't stand this mushy crap much longer.

As the time slowly passed, I continued to watch my brother sleep. I wasn't surprised when Jacob crashed next to him. Two sleeping werewolves in a house full of vampires. I shook my head disapprovingly.

As the sun set, I could smell the rest of the Cullens coming back from their hunt…or so they would have Bella believe. Truthfully, they hadn't really gone hunting. As a present for her transformation, Esme had restored a house for her and Edward to live in, and _boink_ in.

I saw Alice hesitate from the trees. She looked almost as if she were preparing herself to go and be with her family. What could be causing _her_ irritation? I pondered that. Maybe she didn't like Bella as a vampire. I chuckled a bark as Emmett and Esme came up behind Alice. I started to get uncomfortable all out in the open and vulnerable for the vampires to see, so I slunk into the trees beside the house.

A few minutes later I heard Alice exclaim happily, "Happy Birthday!"

I grunted. To hell with this boring shit. I didn't have to stick around and listen to them chat about how old Bella _wasn't_ getting. There had to be something better to do around here.

I ran for a few hours just to run. I didn't _have_ to patrol anymore. Sam's pack was no longer a threat. After a while, I decided that maybe I would just go home. It would be nice to sleep in an actual bed again.

As I was coming in the front door, my mother was going out. I just gave her a slight smirk. She was going to see Charlie; I could tell by the smile on her face.

"Oh, Leah…I didn't think you would be coming home tonight." My mother was obviously surprised at my presence.

"I figured now that Sam's off our case, I could use my bed every now and then." I yawned. "So where are you headed? You have a _hot date_?"

I saw her blush. Answer to the question: Yes.

"Charlie's a bit preoccupied, what with Bella and all…" I saw her thoughts drift. I felt bad for her. She hated lying to Charlie, just like everyone else. It really did blow to have to keep a secret _that_ big from someone you cared about. "I thought maybe a night out would help him take his mind off of her."

"You should wear a more revealing top. I guarantee that if he sees cleavage, he won't even remember he _has_ a daughter," I suggested.

She laughed, but then her face became serious again.

"How did things go tonight? Was there a fight?" I could see the anticipation in her eyes.

_Well, if you consider Seth trying to take on a newborn vampire by himself a battle_… I knew I couldn't tell her what had happened. It really wasn't my place. If Seth wanted to tell her, he would. Plus, she would probably kill me for letting him get hurt, and then jump in the car, speed over the Cullen's, and kill Bella. Hmm…maybe I _should_ tell her…

I decided against it.

"It was actually pretty boring. Bella has some freaky weird self-control thing where she doesn't want to drink our blood." This was such an odd conversation to be having with my mother.

My mom nodded, "And where's Seth?" Damn it, I was hoping she would not notice his absence.

"He's…sleeping over at the leeches," I frowned. I knew she wouldn't like that. I could see her face crinkle with worry. I tried to make her feel better. "Don't worry, Jacob's there with him. They both crashed. It's really been a long day." I noticed my fatigue was coming back.

After a moment, my mother seemed satisfied.

"Get some rest, sweetie." She furrowed her brow. "You look _exhausted_." I _felt_ exhausted.

"Have a good time!" I called after her.

She smiled as she walked out the front door. I heard someone walking up on the front porch. At first, I figured it was Charlie. It wasn't until I heard the voice that I realized the visitor wasn't for her.

"Hey, Ms. C. Wow, you look fantastic." What was Embry doing here?

"Thank you, Embry. Leah's inside if you want to say hello to her. But I think she's getting ready to go to bed, so you might want to make it a quick visit." My mother advised.

"Sweet." He walked to the front door. "Have fun with Charlie." He waved as he walked through the front door. He saw me and smiled. "Hi, Leah."

"Uh…hey, Embry…" How did he even know I was home? I shrugged. Guess he'd been running in the vicinity.

The room was silent. There was kind of a nervous tension that filled the air. I tapped my foot in anticipation.

"What are Jake and Seth up to?" he questioned.

"They're probably having dreams about tiny, little, happy vampire children dancing around in tutu's or something," I shrugged. "They both crashed about an hour ago." I yawned again. I wasn't far behind them.

Embry could see that I was sleepy.

"Yeah, your mom said you were tired. But I was wondering, could I talk to you about something?"

I looked outside. The sun had completely set. And my eyes were barely staying open. No way I could have a lucid conversation.

"I dunno. Maybe tomorrow. I'm really fighting my weariness." I could feel my eyelids getting heavy.

I saw him frown and lock his jaw, but he nodded with a sigh, "Well, get some rest. I'll try and catch you another time."

"Cool," I nodded. We went in separate directions. I was able to keep myself awake for a nice warm shower. I bet I looked like some drunk sorority girl as I stumbled down the hallway to my bedroom.

I stubbed my toe on the edge of the bed, but I didn't care. I literally fell face forward on to my mattress and shoved my face into my pillow. God, it felt so soft. I hadn't slept in days. Not a really _good_ sleep anyway. I had taken naps and snoozed a little while on patrols, but I hadn't truly ever drifted completely out of consciousness. That was something you couldn't do when you were constantly waiting for a battle to start. You were always on alert.

But now that everything was over, and Sam had given in, I could truly relax. Everything that had happened since I broke away from the pack was all a blur. Talking to Billy. Being with Jacob and Seth. My freedom from Sam. Befriending Embry. Renesmee's birth. Seth getting hurt. All of it completely faded from my thoughts.

And for the first time in a long time, I actually drifted out of consciousness completely.

It felt great.


	25. Jacob and his big stupid mouth

_You can fake it for a while _

_Bite your tongue and smile like every mother does her ugly child  
_

_But it starts to leaking out _

_Like spittle from a cloud amassed resentment pelting ounce and pound_

_"Turn on Me" _

_-The Shins_

* * *

**Chapter 25:**

**Jacob and his big stupid mouth**

The sound of happy birds chirping outside my window was the thing that woke me up. But I wasn't irritated. I felt wonderful. My bed was so comfortable. I didn't want to get up at first. But then I remembered Seth. I'm sure he was completely healed by now.

I grabbed a quick bite to eat before I ran out the door to see if Seth was okay. When I phased, I was startled to feel that Jacob was running as a wolf. Seth was with him.

_I was beginning to think you'd forgotten you __had__ four legs_. I laughed at Jacob. This was the first time since Renesmee had been born…_spawned_...I guess would be the correct term, that Jacob had embraced his inner wolf, not counting the time he'd taken two seconds to phase and show Seth and I his _oh, so lovely_ imprinted lover.

I could tell immediately that there was something serious going on. Through Jacob's uneasiness from being away from Nessie, I could hear that he had some dumbass plan running through his mind.

_I'm telling you, man, I don't think this is a good idea,_ Seth whimpered.

I could see they were running towards Forks. Odd. What was in Forks? If anything, I would have expected him to be patrolling the Cullen's land or heading back to La Push. But _Forks_?

It suddenly dawned on me what Jacob was doing. There was only one person that Jacob knew in that town. He didn't have to say anything. His thoughts said it all. There had been some discussion about the Cullens leaving town now that Bella had gotten everything she ever wanted. Stupid spoiled brat.

It was very painful for Jake to think about losing Nessie. So he was going to give Bella a reason to stay. He was going to see Charlie.

_You're going to tell Charlie_? I was finally able to pick through his thoughts. _You know you can't do that! What about the rules about humans not being able to know about them_? Even though I couldn't really stand the leeches, I understood and respected their rules about humans not knowing of their existence. It made perfect sense to me. If people knew about vampires, eventually they would know about werewolves as well. We didn't want that.

_I'm not going to __'tell'__ Charlie anything. I'm going to __show__ him…_ Jacob shrugged. I could see now that Jacob was planning on phasing in front of Charlie. But why? What did werewolves have to do with his daughter becoming a vampire? This was just Jacob being desperately dumb. I increased my speed and headed towards Charlie's house. With any luck, I could beat Jacob there and get him out of the house. Maybe I could tell him that my mom was waiting naked in her bed for him. That would get him out of the house in record time.

I felt Seth cringe at the thought.

_Gross, Leah._

Well, I had to think of _something_._  
_

_You'll do no such thing,_ Jacob growled softly at me. _My mind is made up._

_Aren't you worried about scaring him_? Seth questioned.

_Charlie's stronger than he looks. He can handle it._

_And what if he can't? What if he drops dead of a heart attack in his front yard? If you think Bella's pissed at you now, imagine how she'll feel after you've killed her father._ This was a stupid idea, and Jacob was obviously not thinking clearly. _I mean honestly, Jacob, what brought this on_?

_I've waited a long time for Nessie. I won't lose her._ I felt a twinge of pain and sadness from him when he even _thought_ about Nessie disappearing from his life.

I sighed. I knew that Jacob would stop at nothing to keep the little demon baby in his life. I couldn't convince him otherwise. So, I gritted my teeth and accepted his stupid plan.

I got to Charlie's place before Jacob and Seth. Jacob warned me to stay hidden. And I did what I was told. Jacob appeared as human, dressed and ready to change Charlie's life forever.

He had a certain cockiness to his walk as he strutted up to the front door. I noticed that my mom's car wasn't around. Guess she hadn't stayed the night at Charlie's after all. I hope I hadn't disturbed her this morning banging around in the kitchen looking for something to eat.

Seth glanced at me as I thought of mom.

_She really likes him_. He looked at the Swan's house.

_She does_.

_If Jacob gives Charlie a heart attack, I'm going to kill him for doing that to mom again._ Seth frowned. I could see that he thought this wasn't very smart either. And Seth was right. Killing Charlie with a heart attack, the very thing that had killed my father, would be heartbreaking for my mom.

Jacob knocked on the door.

"Jacob!" Charlie was stunned to see him standing there, especially with a smile on his face.

"Charlie, you got a few minutes? I need to talk to you about something."

"Sure, come on in."

"Actually, I was kind of hoping we could talk outside. It's a nice day to go for a walk." Jacob motioned towards the woods.

_'Nice day?'_ Seth questioned. _It's getting ready to rain_… He pointed out.

Charlie gave Jacob the confused look that was on my brother's face as well.

"Looks like rain," he said with a frown.

"Yeah, but it isn't raining yet," Jacob said. "Trust me, this will be better if we were outside."

"What would be better?" Charlie questioned. I saw confusion flash across his face. "Is this about Bella?" He started to panic. "Did something happen to her? Is she…"

"She's fine, Charlie. But this is really important. And Bella's involved." He begged him to follow. Charlie looked confused, but followed Jacob anyway.

_Oh, good idea, Jacob. Take him into the woods so that if he gets freaked out and runs off, he gets lost just like his idiot daughter_. I rolled my eyes.

_He's a cop._ Seth had more faith in him than I did.

_A cop that's about to find out werewolves exist. __That__ can impair your sense of direction quite a bit. When you're running away screaming, following the marked path back home is not the first thing you're going to think about doing. _

My eyes followed Jacob and Charlie as they went off on a trail. Seth and I lingered behind, careful not to reveal ourselves.

"Charlie, there are things unseen in this world…" Jacob shed his shirt. I saw Charlie's expression change as he watched him strip. He had no clue what Jacob was up to.

"Uh, er…Jake, if you need some help…someone to talk to, a psychiatrist or something, I can get you a referral." He noticed that Jacob was going to take off his pants. "Son, you do know that there are laws against public nudity?"

"This is going to sound weird, but this _is_ about Bella," Jacob tried to explain.

There was a pause as Charlie analyzed what Jacob was doing. He furrowed his brow and frowned.

"Now, this is going to be alarming…" Jacob put his hand on Charlie's shoulder. "...but I need you not to freak out, okay?"

"Jacob, are you drunk?" Charlie looked accusingly at Jacob. I snickered a laugh. The last time I had seen Jacob drunk, he had gotten into a predicament with a riding lawn mower and a lake.

"I'm not. In fact I'm quite sober. And I spent the evening with Bella," he explained. I saw Charlie's expression change. Hope washed across his face. "She really is fine, Charlie."

"Is she better?" Charlie demanded to know.

"In many ways."

_Hmm, I think she's __worse__ in many ways_. But that was just one biased wolf's opinion...

"I have to go see her." I could see Charlie turn back towards his house.

"Wait…" Jacob reached out his hands and softly stopped Charlie from leaving. "Just let me show you something first." And with that, he tossed his pants off.

Charlie's face went beet red. He looked down at the ground, trying to avoid looking _anywhere_ else. But Jacob quickly started to tremble, and that gained Charlie's attention. He watched as Jacob exploded into his beautiful brown coat.

Charlie gasped and flew a few steps backwards. His mouth was wide in shock as he pointed and shook his index finger at Jacob in disbelief. I could hear the wheezing building up in his chest.

_Jake, this is stupid._ I couldn't believe his idea to phase in front of Charlie. I felt bad for poor Charlie. I wish I could go out there and comfort him. Of course, if I did that, it might freak him out more. So for now, Seth and I stayed hidden in the bushes, trying not to overload Charlie on information.

_Just give him a minute to absorb it all,_ Jacob said confidently.

Charlie's face blanched.

_Jacob…you're going to kill him. He looks like he's gonna faint_! Charlie didn't seem to be reacting very well.

_He'll be fine…_

"Huh…" Charlie said aloud, "...strange. I don't _recall_ taking any mind altering drugs…" Now he thought he was hallucinating. Charlie looked around the woods. "Ha…" A laugh escaped his mouth. "Oh, I get it!" He broke into hysterical laughter. He slapped his knee in amusement.

_Oh, great, Jake, you __broke__ Bella's dad_! Seth complained.

"Is this some kind of joke?" He faced Jacob.

Jacob shook his head and Charlie jumped from the movement.

_Come on. I'm the same Jacob you've always known…_ Jacob eased towards him. Charlie was frozen in shock.

"No! Bad Jacob!" Charlie blurted out in fear.

I snorted out hysterical laughter.

_You better be careful. He's gonna get the rolled up newspaper and chase after you._

_Naw, he just needs to see that I'm not going to hurt him._ Jacob laid down in front of Charlie. It took me a minute to figure out what he was doing. He rolled to his side and his tail thudded happily against the ground. Then…he rolled over and showed his belly to Charlie. He was being submissive? Well, actually…that wasn't a terrible plan. Most people are suckers for big, sweet, dumb dogs.

After debating for a moment, Charlie leaned down and started scratching Jacob's stomach. This was hilarious. Where was a video camera when you needed one? I could post this on Youtube and be famous for it. I watched as Jacob's back leg started to kick in satisfaction.

_Oh, now you're just being dramatic_. I rolled my eyes.

Jacob stood back up and Charlie froze again. After a moment, Jacob phased back. He wasted no time in getting dressed. All the while, Charlie was absorbing all of this new information.

"You okay?" Jacob questioned.

"I don't get it." He finally spoke. "Especially how I could have not known about this. I have never seen anything like it in all my years on the force." Charlie shook his head.

"You don't live in the world that you thought you lived in. But it's not all bad. And now that you know, nothing has really changed...except that you're in on the secret. And nothing has to change just because you know. You can continue living like you've been living."

"Off of frozen TV dinners and peanut butter…" I heard Charlie mumble very softly. He faced Jake again seriously. "How exactly does Bella come into all of this? I thought she was sick?"

"Not anymore," Jacob explained. "She's better than she's ever been. The only thing that's different about her now is the fact that she's going to look _a lot_ different to you. She's…" He tried to figure out how to describe her.

_A pasty bimbo? A pale albino freak_? _An ashy dimwit?_ I offered Jake a few suggestions.

"She looks a lot more like Esme now."

Well, I wouldn't have compared Bella to the sleek and pretty Esme. I watched Charlie's face to see if anything registered.

He assumed wrong. "So…Bella's a wolf, too?"

"What? No." Jake shook his head.

"Well, what does she morph into then? A big cat?"

_HAHAHA_! I barked out laughter. Well, she _was_ a giant pussy in one way or another…

"No. She's not an animal, Charlie."

So vampires weren't animals now?

"So…not a wolf then?" Charlie questioned.

"She _wishes_ she were that cool." Jacob smirked.

"What exactly _are_ you, Jacob?"

"You remember those old legends my dad tells all the time?" he questioned.

"How can I forget them? It's all he ever talks about," Charlie mumbled. "I almost dumped him out of the boat on our last fishing trip because that was all he rambled about. I caught a giant Trout that day, and all I could think about doing was holding your dad's head under the water until he stopped talking about all that tribal nonsense."

"Yeah, it can get kind of annoying at times. But my old man has a point." He looked to where Seth and I were hiding and waved us out. "Seth. Leah."

Seth and I glanced at each other and then slowly came out of hiding. Charlie's jaw dropped again.

"Sue's kids, too?" he exclaimed.

"The legends are all true. I didn't believe them myself until I became a werewolf…"

Charlie cut him off, "Okay, that's enough. I don't want to know the details. Just tell me one thing...did Bella know what she was getting into when she got involved with the Cullens?"

"Of course." Jacob nodded. He was right. She knew _exactly_ what she was getting into, which made me dislike her even more.

"Oh, that's just great," Charlie grumbled. "Here I am, busting my ass to protect my community, and my daughter is running around with _monsters_ in her spare time right under my nose." He shook his head. "I'm such an idiot. _'No, Renee, send her here to live with me. It's a safe little town. What trouble could she __possibly__ get into?'_ Why couldn't she be smoking dope and getting drunk like a regular teenager? Well, this is just _wonderful_. Her mother is going to kill me. And I should kill _her_ for keeping this from me."

"She only kept things from you to protect you." Jacob tried to defend her.

"Son, I'm trained in special arms. I have thirty-five different guns laying around my house. I don't _need_ protecting," Charlie snapped. I laughed. I had never seen Charlie pissed off. He inhaled deeply, trying to calm himself down. "Alright, here's the deal…I want to see my daughter."

"That's why I came out here today," Jacob said. "Just give me a fifteen minute head start so I can tell her what's going on."

"Hold on, there _is_ a catch…" Charlie frowned. "I'm old. And I don't like change. I'm completely content living in the dark. And as much as I appreciate your honesty, I don't particularly want to _know_ anything else. So, let's make these weird things a 'need to know' basis."

_Dang, this worked out better than Bella could have ever hoped for_! Seth exclaimed happily.

Of course it did. _Everything_ worked out for her. Bella and her stupid perfect little life.

"I think we can arrange that." Jacob nodded. "My lips are sealed." Then he gasped, as if he suddenly remembered something. "Except…there is _one_ thing you need to know about. Bella and Edward have a…"

_Don't say 'daughter', Jacob. God help me, don't say 'daughter.' Bella will __kill__ you for sure this time._

"They're sort of watching after a baby. She's an orphan." Thank God he had decided to lie. If Charlie knew that Bella had given birth just a month after conceiving, it would blow his brain completely out of whack. We certainly wouldn't want poor Charlie to think of his daughter as an unnatural, freaky little slut.

Charlie looked shocked, but he answered softly, "Are they going to adopt her? Am I going to be…a Grandfather?"

"I guess you could say that." He chuckled. "Hey, congrats, Gramps."

"Watch it, Jacob. You may be a monster, but I can still put your butt on the ground." Charlie threatened. But then, his face looked serene. He smiled. Was he…_happy_ about this?

Charlie continued with the smile on his face, "What's she like? Is she a smart baby?"

"She's incredible." I saw Jacob's face light up. "She's really special, Charlie. You're going to love her. But…you're going to have to keep an open mind and ignore the strange things around you. It's probably best to not ask questions. If you can get past the weirdness, you'll do just fine." Jake's face suddenly became a mask of sadness. "But if you can't deal with it, Bella is going to leave…and I know you don't want that."

_I do_, I grumbled. That would be awesome.

"No, I don't," Charlie said softly. "I'll deal with whatever has changed. And as long as no one pushes any more information on me, I should be fine."

I saw Jacob smile. "Great. So, if you want to give me that fifteen minute head start, you can head out to the Cullen's place."

"So you _will_ be there?" Charlie sounded relieved, not upset.

"Of course." Jacob nodded.

And I got the distinct impression that Charlie was more afraid than he was letting on. Having Jacob there would make him feel a little more at ease, knowing that he was the only one of the entire group who had been honest with him.

The two of them walked back to the house in silence. Seth and I lingered behind them. I wanted to make sure Charlie didn't feel like we were crowding him. He seemed fine.

"See ya in a few!" Jacob waved as he ran towards the woods.

I watched as Charlie slunk back into the house. Jacob phased back, and Seth and I followed him out towards the Cullen's place. As we were on our way to the mansion, there was only one thing that I was wondering.

How would Bella react? Were we sentencing Charlie to death?


	26. I live in a supernatural soap opera

_I guess it's no use_

_I'm screwing up every little thing I ever tried to do_

_I'm born to lose_

_God must hate me, he cursed me for eternity_

_God must hate me, maybe you should pray for me_

_I'm breaking down and you can't save me_

_It's fuckin hell and I wanna go home_

_"God Must Hate Me"_

_-Simple Plan_

* * *

**Chapter 26:**

**I live in a supernatural soap opera**

_I think that went pretty well._ Jacob was proud of himself.

_Don't get too ahead of yourself. You haven't told Bella yet,_ I shrugged.

_So that's why you're volunteering to come back to the Cullen's place? Because you're afraid she'll get mad? _he questioned. _Don't worry about it, Leah. I can handle it._

_Yeah, you handled it so well last time._ I flashed the memory of Seth's shattered shoulder and collar bone, and Jacob cowered down at the image. _I'm not going to let Seth get hurt again._

_That was my fault, not his._ Seth shook his head.

_Look, just don't intervene this time if Bella wants to kill Jacob._

_That won't happen again_, Jacob said seriously. _And if you're coming with us, you might as well know that we're going back as human._

Well, that was just fantastic. This day was starting off _wonderfully_. Of course, it got worse from there. When we phased back, I realized that the only clothes I had were the worn down dirty ones I had been running with for the past five days. I had forgotten to grab a fresh outfit when I had been home. And the backpack full of outfits that Embry had brought me was sitting in the middle of my living room floor.

We walked through the rain. It felt so _off_ to be on two feet and not four, especially walking into the vampire's place. I saw Bella's jaw drop when Seth and I entered. I knew that Seth hadn't warranted that kind of reaction. She was surprised that I was here as a human. I saw her cower a little. She had to be remembering the _last_ time I had come into this house human. Her memories might not be so great, but there's _no way_ she could forget my rant at her selfish ass. I smiled a little at the memory of the discomfort I had caused her.

I had to channel my thoughts into something calming. My hands were already vibrating from the tension. I looked over and was surprised to see that Seth's hands were shaking, too.

"What are you so freaked out about? You practically live here," I whispered quietly.

"I'm just nervous about…well…you know…" He didn't want to reveal to the Cullens about Jacob's _brilliant_ plan.

I saw Alice freak out. Her little future telling power was completely out of whack. With all of us here, she couldn't see anything going on in the future.

Edward growled angrily, "He talked to Charlie…"

I braced myself. Here it came. Bella was going to attack, I just knew it.

Alice was the first one to speak, "Oh, fuck…" Her foul language surprised and entertained me. I hadn't expected such a dirty word to come out of her tiny, high pitched mouth.

I glanced at Bella. She was cradling Nessie tightly. Hmm, I guess the baby served a bit of good when it came to keeping Bella calm. Either that, or Jasper was getting _really_ good at controlling her reactions.

Jacob had to go and ruin it

"Since he'll be here soon, you might want to have Alice get you some sunglasses or something. I mean, I assume you don't want Charlie to see your freaky eyes."

"You assume way too much. You're lucky I have my daughter," she growled.

Edward yelled at Jacob, telling him that this would be painful for Bella. I perked up. It would? Well, I guess maybe I _could_ get comfortable here.

I watched from the corner quietly as Jacob explained his conversation with Charlie. There were a couple of times I swear that Bella was going to lunge for his throat, but she didn't. She just hugged her daughter tightly to her chest and tried to remain calm. I was a little disappointed. I really wanted to fight with her.

I moved forward with Seth when Jacob approached Bella, but Jacob quickly waved us away. I shrugged. Well, it was his funeral.

Suddenly, Alice was whipping around the room, telling everyone what to do. She ordered Seth, Jacob, and I to keep as far away from Bella as possible, so she could see her future. When she ordered Bella to give Nessie to Jacob, I understood why Alice had seemed so hesitant last night. She wasn't trying to avoid Bella, she was trying to avoid Nessie. Nessie did the same thing to her power that the wolves did. How weird.

Jacob and Seth slid down to the floor, making themselves comfortable. They started to play with Nessie. I felt completely out of place. I didn't belong here. This was one "happy family" moment. But I didn't have a happy family. I still didn't have a place that I completely belonged.

Nessie smiled and pat Jacob's face. He chuckled and then glanced over at me. I guess he could see that I was sad. He motioned for me to join, but was interrupted again by Alice giving orders to everyone.

Oh no. No, no, no. I wasn't going to stand around and let a vampire tell me what to do.

"Am I allowed to leave?" I questioned. I didn't want Jacob to think I was abandoning him. But obviously, Bella wasn't going to kill him, so there was no need for me to be here to see what a happy future I _didn't_ have.

Jacob looked startled that I wanted his permission.

"Of course."

Even though I was leaving, Alice continued to sputter directions at me, "Make sure to stay east so you don't cross Charlie's path."

I didn't even care enough to answer as I bolted out the back door. I raced home, trying not to let the feelings of loneliness overcome me. I kept bouncing back and forth to this feeling of not belonging anywhere. In a sense, I felt like I did belong with Jacob and whatever pack he had. But I still felt like something was missing. And it felt like it was right in front of me, I just couldn't see it. That annoyed the hell out of me. Now I understood why Alice was so frustrated when she couldn't see the future.

When I got home, I found my mom cleaning around the house. She looked delighted to see me.

"How'd you sleep?" she questioned.

"Like a baby." I cringed at the word "baby." I wondered if Charlie would be able to see that Nessie looked _exactly_ like a blend of Edward and Bella. He wasn't stupid. He would know the truth. He wouldn't understand it, but he would know it. One look at Nessie and he'd be able to tell she was the rotten fruit of his daughter's loins.

"You took off pretty early this morning." Apparently I _had_ woken her up.

"Sorry. I didn't realize you were home. I assumed you were still with Charlie," I shrugged.

"Why, Leah Clearwater, you know that your mother is _not_ that kind of woman," she chuckled. I laughed too, and then muttered something about me being glad that she _wasn't_ with Charlie this morning.

"Why? What happened?" She hadn't missed my mumbling.

"It's a long story." I pulled out a chair at the kitchen table.

"Is Charlie okay?" She bit her lip.

"Charlie's fine. Jacob's the one we should worry about." I shook my head. Really, what was Jacob thinking? It was an extremely dangerous thing to do. I tried to remember that he was doing it for Nessie. It was still a dick move on his part. "He's the one who phased in front of Charlie."

My mom dropped the bowl she was washing and it clanked against the side of the sink. She stood in silence for a moment. Maybe I shouldn't have told her. I really hadn't considered what her reaction would be. Score one for my impulsive big mouth. _Good job, moron._ I thought to myself.

"Uh, mom? You okay?" I questioned.

"Jacob phased in front of Charlie?" she repeated what I had just said.

"Yes."

"Why would he do that?" she asked quietly.

"Long story short: to make sure Bella had a reason to stay in town. Which, apparently, now she will be." I figured if she was able to _not_ kill Charlie, she wouldn't have any reason to leave. "He's at the Cullen's now, meeting his new granddaughter."

After a moment, my mom started to wash the bowl again. She seemed to be thinking the situation over. I'm sure she was partly relieved that she didn't have to hide anything from Charlie anymore, but I could tell the other part of her was scared for him.

"He doesn't know about vampires, but _we're_ not a secret anymore," I shrugged. "Jacob thought it would be wise to let him make his own assumptions after spending some time with Bella and Nessie today." Because Jacob had completely lost his mind.

My mom nodded understandingly, "Ah, I wonder if our plans are still on then."

Holy crap, had she just accepted that Charlie knew about us _that_ quickly? Wow, my mom was cooler than I had ever given her credit for.

I started back in with our playful banter.

"You have another date? You go girl." I teased her.

"I invited both him and Billy over for dinner tonight."

"Wow, you sure are cooking an awful lot." I smiled. "I leave for a couple of days and now all of a sudden you've become a gourmet chef."

"I wouldn't go that far. I burned the macaroni and cheese a few nights ago." She laughed.

I smiled, "So what time are we expecting Charlie and Billy?"

"Six. Why?"

_Because if Charlie isn't here __exactly__ on time, I'm going to kill Jacob,_ I said to myself. "No reason." I didn't want to worry my mother.

But I didn't have anything to worry about. Charlie and Seth were actually back home by 5:30. And Billy was at the house ten minutes later. I started to feel a little overcrowded, so I went out for a jog.

I ended up at the cliff that Sam and the boys would sometimes jump off of into the icy ocean below. I hung my feet over the edge and let out a sigh. There was a slight breeze in the air. I thought of all the happy couples surrounding me. And it made me realize that I had once had that. Sam and I were in love…at one point. I laughed callously. Whoever had said that it was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all was apparently an idiot that had never been in love. Or, someone that was completely full of shit.

I heard a noise behind me. I wasn't alone anymore.

"Want some company?" Embry asked from the shadows.

Oh crap, I had forgotten that Embry wanted to talk to me last night. I had gotten completely wrapped up in Jacob's idiotic plan to scare the hell out of Charlie.

"Sure." I waved him to come and sit down.

For some reason, he looked nervous as he got to the edge. That didn't make any sense. He had jumped from here several times.

"So, how's Seth?" Embry questioned. "I heard he saved Jake's ass."

"He's fine. Completely healed," I shrugged.

"I hear Charlie braved giving Jacob a belly rub." He had also obviously heard about the fact that Charlie wasn't in the dark about us anymore.

"Jacob's gone crazy trying to make sure Nessie stays in his life." I shook my head.

"God, a lot has changed in such a short amount of time." He had that right. But my last few days of running as a wolf were _not_ what was on my mind.

"You know what's weird? I'm not thinking about _any_ of the paranormal things in life."

Embry chuckled, "What else is there to think about?"

"Strangely enough, my future." I don't know why I felt comfortable talking about this. I had _never_ been comfortable talking about my feelings before. Feelings freaked me out. But I was just so tired of trying to hide behind my anger.

Embry surprised me when he guessed what was on my mind.

"Yeah. I know you've been having a rough time thinking about all the lovers around you lately." He noticed the shock on my face. "Just because I haven't been in your head for a while doesn't mean I don't know what you're thinking."

"I forgot that you haven't imprinted yet either." I had been so floored by the fact that Jacob imprinted on Nessie, that it slipped my mind that Embry was still alone too. I felt bad for him. But he didn't seem near as miserable as I did. I guess he had more hope for his future than I did for mine. "You've got a better chance of settling down than I do."

"You are so pessimistic sometimes." He shook his head. But he still had a smile on his face. "You don't know that someone won't come and sweep you off of your feet."

"Not gonna happen." I argued. For more than one reason. I went with the one I knew that was guaranteed to make him laugh. "Because men don't know how to sweep."

He continued to ignore my pessimism. "You're going to fall in love and you'll never even see it coming."

"I don't have to be friends with the psychic vampire to know that that's not true," I frowned. "Come on, look at my track record. Sam was the only person I ever wanted to be with. The moment he left me, my life turned to shit. Everyone I have ever cared about leaves." I couldn't believe I was saying this out loud. I had said it in my head a million times. But to hear the words out loud was an odd sensation. "I push people away because I don't want to get hurt. I don't have any friends because I don't trust anyone. I thought maybe I could trust Jacob. We had a mutual understanding. But then Nessie came along. And I lost him, too." I laughed at how stupid that sounded. "Jake was all I had. And now I don't even have him anymore." How pathetic was it that I couldn't hold on to a friend for more than a week?

Embry paused a moment. "You have me."

His response caught me by surprise. There was a lot more emotion behind it than I would have expected.

"Thank you?" I posed it as more of a question because I wasn't exactly sure what he meant by it.

He was quiet for a minute and then he laughed and shook his head from side to side.

"Man, I can't believe you haven't figured it out yet."

"Figured _what_ out?" Okay, I was completely lost.

"Leah, last night when I wanted to talk to you…" He seemed to be struggling to find the right words. "Ah man, I knew I'd screw this up. I suck with words. I just wish I knew exactly how to say this without coming off as a total douchebag…"

"Okay, Embry, what the hell are you talking about? You're really starting to freak me out."

"Maybe it would be better if I just…" He looked down at the ground and then shifted his eyes to mine nervously. "I should just…show you…" He moved his hand swiftly, but gently to my arm. I was in such a state of shock that I froze in place. What was he _doing_?

Without saying a word, he grazed his hand up my arm and placed his palm on my face. My jaw dropped, but he just continued to smile. His hand was warm on my skin, which was odd considering I was a werewolf too, and the heat shouldn't bother me. I felt a current of electricity go through me and Embry dropped his hand back to his side and let out a heavy, but exhilarating sigh.

"You…I…did you…" My mouth was moving, but I couldn't make any words come out. It was all complete gibberish. Finally, I was able to access the verbal part of my brain. "What in the hell was _that_?" I gasped.

"Exactly what you think it was," Embry said, almost shyly.

"No." I refused to believe what had just transpired. "That can't be…it just doesn't make any sense."

"It never does."

I still couldn't tell if I was angry or not. The part of my brain that controlled my emotions had completely shut down. I was still trying to understand it.

"You…imprinted on me?"

Embry took a moment to pause before he answered, "A while ago actually."

WHAT!


	27. Whoa, information overload

_I don't know anymore what it's for_

_I'm not even sure_

_If there is anyone who is in the sun_

_Will you help me to understand?_

_Cause I been caught in between_

_All I wish for and all I need_

_Maybe you're not even sure_

_What it's for anymore than me_

_"In the Sun"_

_-Joseph Arthur_

* * *

**Chapter 27:**

**Whoa! Information overload!**

_I'm not going to get angry. I'm going to stay calm_. I was just trying to stay composed so I didn't burst into fur and accidentally knock Embry off of the cliff. I don't know how long the silence between us had lasted. It felt like an eternity, but it had probably only been a few minutes.

"What do you mean _a while ago_?" I was able to stutter out.

"Why the hell do you think I've been following you around like a sad, little puppy dog?" Embry questioned.

"But…are you sure?" I didn't feel this "pull" that everyone was talking about.

"Sam says it's different when a werewolf imprints on another werewolf."

"And how does Mr. Know-it-all know this?" I questioned.

"Because I went to him when it happened. I wasn't sure what it was. He wasn't sure at first either, since you're the only female that the tribe has ever had. But Sam had this theory…"

"Just because he was the first one of us to ever phase doesn't mean that he knows _everything_ about us," I grumbled.

"He spoke to an Elder about it."

"Great, because this isn't embarrassing enough," I snapped. I thought Embry would look upset. But his face was completely calm and void of any emotion, I was suddenly curious. "Did he say who he spoke to?"

"I always assumed it was Billy. He goes to Billy about pretty much everything." God, wasn't that the truth? Every time I turned around, Billy was talking to me about something I had done to piss Sam off.

A thought occurred to me. Billy had known about this? That meant the night that I left the pack, he wasn't trying to convince me to stay for Sam. He wanted me to stay because he knew how Embry felt about me.

"Anyway, Sam's theory is that because I imprinted on you, you were _supposed_ to imprint on me. But since you're different than the rest of us…because you're a girl, we're not sure that your brain works the same way as ours."

Great. I _was_ a freak. I always knew it.

"No, there's nothing wrong with you, Leah." Embry seemed to know exactly what I was thinking. He must have read the expression on my face. "You're just built differently. Sam says he's not really sure if female werewolves can actually imprint…"

"How incredibly sexist of him." I rolled my eyes.

"Well, he has a point. He says the female mind works a lot differently than the male mind."

"I didn't realize that Sam was a psychiatrist." I was still annoyed that Sam knew about this. How had he kept it from me? How had _Embry_ kept it from me? How long had this been going on right in front of my face? Which brought me to my next point. "When you say this happened a while ago, how long _exactly_ do you mean?"

"I think I knew for sure a few days before Edward and Bella's wedding. You remember, before we went on the run that day when the entire pack had lunch together?"

"Sure. At Sam and Emily's place." I cringed. I remembered that day quite well. I remember seeing the engagement ring on Emily's finger and being heartbroken that _I_ wasn't the one that Sam would be walking down the isle with. Of course, I had known for quite some time that Sam and I were over. But the feelings were still there. Stupid first love.

"After Paul and I got into it, you defended me." He laughed. "You told him he was just pissed because he had a tiny penis and would never be able to please a woman."

And that was one of the _nicer_ things I had said to Paul that day.

"Well, I'm afraid to admit this, but before that day, I'd never really looked you in the eyes before. But when I went to thank you, I actually _looked_ in to who you are. I knew then. I didn't get why we weren't together yet because I was so pulled to you. And naturally, I thought you would have been pulled to me as well. But you just went about your business as normal. So, I went to Sam. And after he talked to…I'm still assuming Billy, I don't know for sure, they both seemed to think that my brain was confused because it kept telling me that you were supposed to be imprinting on me. But since that never happened, I imprinted on you."

"And what happens if, God forbid, someone comes into my life that _I_ imprint on?" I hated to ask the question. But I knew that Embry must have had some time to think about _every_ possibility.

"Won't happen. If you _do_ have the ability to imprint, you'll end up with me. For you to feel the pull, you have to let go of all the resentment you're holding on to. You have to let it go, so you can…imprint on me…"

I shook my head. How had I not overheard this in his and Sam's thoughts? How could this all possibly be true? If he really loved me as much as Jacob loved Nessie, and cared for me as much as Sam loved Emily; if I _really_ meant that much to him, why was I not constantly in his thoughts? Was I really so wrapped up in my _own_ thoughts that I had missed something _that_ big?

"So if the pull is so strong, how come I never knew this when we were wolves?" I questioned.

"I didn't want to say anything until I was sure. I wanted to give you time to see if you would imprint. And I wanted you to do it on your own, not because you felt pressured because of me imprinting on you. So, I got some help from Sam with controlling my thoughts. And with everything that was going on at the time, it wasn't hard to keep myself distracted. But even then, you don't know how hard it was for me to keep my thoughts occupied with anything other than you."

"So then, why didn't you come with me when I left?"

He looked down and sighed, "I couldn't get past Sam's Alpha hold." He looked ashamed to admit that.

"Sam knew that if he pushed you not to see me, you _would_ be able to pull free." I finally understood. "That's the real reason you were able to talk to me after I left without Sam ripping your throat out."

"That, and he knows how hard it is for a wolf to be away from the person they love," he said. I cowered down. I really wish he didn't feel so strongly. I would only break his heart. Again, he read my expression. "I know you don't feel the same way at the moment, but you will…"

"How can you possibly know that?"

"Because you and I, we belong together, Leah. You may not see that now, but once you're able to let go of your emotions, you'll see me the way I see you." He smiled. "And I'll wait for as long as you need."

"This just…can't work." I shook my head.

He huffed a little. "And why not?"

"Well, for one thing…I mean, you're only seventeen. You're still a kid." My brain seemed to be looking for any excuse possible.

"Come on, Leah, give me more credit than that." Embry shook his head. "And don't throw the age thing at me. I mean, look at Quil and Claire. There's a _huge_ difference there. Jacob's seventeen years older than Nessie. And if you _really_ want to talk numbers, Edward's ninety-one years older than Bella. Age means nothing."

Crap. He had me there. I paused to think about the age difference. Wow, Edward was almost a _century_ older than Bella. Geeze, I'd never thought about it, but I hung out with a bunch of pedophiles.

I stayed silent. I mean, what was I supposed to say?

Embry put his hand on top of mine. And to my surprise, I _didn't_ pull back. But I knew he could sense my resistance.

"I get that you don't feel as strongly as I do. But I can't change what I feel. I _do_ love you, Leah. But that doesn't mean that you have to love me back. Not yet, anyway. You're not ready." Embry seemed very calm about this entire situation. I guess he'd had a while to think about exactly what he wanted to say. I, on the other hand, didn't even know where to begin.

I figured I might as well be honest with him.

"Embry, I might not _ever_ be ready."

But he seemed as confident as ever. "I'm pretty patient." He paused. "Well, as patient as a werewolf can be." He laughed.

It grew silent again. The only thing I could hear was the gentle current of the ocean at the bottom of the cliff. But even though it was quiet outside, my thoughts were pounding loudly in my head. I could barely think straight. I just needed some alone time to figure things out.

"I'll let you think things through." I felt Embry stand up next to me. He'd read my thoughts again. How did he keep doing that? It was annoying, but at the same time, convenient and kind of exciting.

"Well, alright." My mind was back to not being able to form coherent sentences again.

"If you wanna talk, you know where to find me…" And just like that, he was gone.

I stared into the trees after him. This night couldn't get any weirder. None of this made any sense. It was like some really bizarre dream. All this ludicrous stuff happening could _not_ be real

I started to laugh hysterically. I finally got it! This _wasn't _real! I must be dead. Yes, that's it. After I finally snapped at Bella, Edward must have flipped his shit and ripped me to pieces.

I shook my head. "God, get a grip, Leah." I muttered aloud to myself.

I suppose it wasn't the worst thing in the world. I really _didn't_ want to end up alone. But…Embry Call? Why would such a sweet kid imprint on such a self-loathing bitch? I was hardly a good catch. Was this some kind of fluke? Was Embry confusing his feelings for me? Would this one day pass, leaving me alone and heartbroken again?

Now that I knew this, a lot of things were starting to make sense. I wanted to kick myself for not seeing it sooner. How could I have missed something so blatantly obvious? _Duh, Leah_!

I still wasn't sure what to do. Time felt like it was at a standstill. I couldn't feel anything. I was completely numb. But it wasn't a _bad_ feeling of nothingness. I think my body was just absorbing the shock.

I lost all track of time. It wasn't until I saw the clouds starting to turn a light purple color that I realized I had been sitting out on the cliff all night. Damn, what the hell had this imprinting done to my brain? My head was empty. I smirked a little; that must be how Bella felt _all_ of the time. Brainless twat.

It might be wise for me to go home so my mother didn't think I was dead or something. I'm sure Seth had probably phased to check on me. But since I had stayed human all night, he probably had no clue what'd happened to me.

I didn't remember standing up, or the walk home, or opening my front door for that matter. When I walked into my house, I found my mother and Charlie, fast asleep on the couch. They were all cuddled up. I might have thought it was cute, if they weren't so _old_. I did my best not to make any noise, but apparently my brain was still missing. I had been so busy watching Charlie snore that I didn't see the board games laying in the middle off the floor.

I was able to catch myself from falling, but I kicked the games all over the room, creating a very noisy echo. Both of them leaped to their feet.

My mom exhaled sharply, "Oh! Leah, I thought you were out running with Seth and Jacob."

"Uh…not exactly." I didn't know whether or not I would be able to tell the story about Embry imprinting on me. My brain capacity was at like negative zero right now.

Charlie looked extremely flustered. He wasn't sure what to say. He started stuttering stupidly just like his daughter did when she was nervous.

"We were just…and we must have drifted off. And…uh, I don't know why I'm not wearing any pants…"

Hmmm, he _was_ sporting a pair of boxers. I hadn't noticed that until now. Shows how far gone I _really_ was. They probably had no idea that this shock written all over my face had nothing to do with their hanky-panky. I could care less about that.

"Right. Okay. I'm going to be in my room for like the next twenty years if you need anything." I started to walk down the hallway to my bedroom.

My poor brain had enough to deal with without having to comprehend my mother and Charlie Swan sucking face and swapping spit.

Just as my hand reached for the doorknob, I felt my mother's hand on my shoulder,

"Wait, honey, I can explain."

I could hear Charlie rummaging around in the living room, probably trying to find his trousers.

"You're an adult. You don't have to explain yourself to me." _Please don't talk about old people sex, please don't talk about old people sex_. I begged in my thoughts.

"Charlie stayed over last night."

"Obviously," I nodded.

"He was overwhelmed by the situation with Bella. I knew that I could ease his tension…"

Yeah, no doubt. A good roll in the sack would ease just about any guy's tension.

"Mom, it's okay. Really. I don't need to hear the details…" _God, I didn't need to hear the details!_

"When he came over for dinner last night, he was just very _stiff_…"

Ah, mom, bad choice of words.

"I knew it had to do with him knowing about the werewolves and the fact that his daughter is not the same as she once was. So, I talked to him about my experiences with the supernatural world." She was just determined to explain this to death. "It seemed to help him. After Seth took Billy home..."

"Wait, you let Seth drive?" I couldn't believe _this_ is the thing that bothered me most about this situation.

"He'll be sixteen in a few months. He already has his learner's permit," she said.

Right. I had forgotten that my brother was almost legally able to drive. Time really goes by quickly.

She continued, "He took Billy home, and then told me he was going back to the Cullen's to hang out with Jacob. I figured since you weren't back yet, that you were running, too."

I wasn't. But I didn't feel like explaining anything to my mother at the moment. She was already horrified that I had caught her and Charlie…without his pants. I couldn't imagine the shock she'd experience knowing that I had been imprinted on by Embry Call.

"We...just," I saw a smile forming on her face. It was so warm. I was glad she was happy again, "we talked _all_ night. Now that he knows about the wolves, I don't feel so guarded around him anymore. For the first time, we were _both_ able to let our guard down last night. It was very pleasant…"

"Say no more." _Really, SAY NO MORE_. "You two played board games, got a little tipsy, and one thing led to another?" I guessed.

"More or less," she nodded.

"Fantastic." I faked a smile. "I couldn't be happier for you. Charlie's a great guy. Now, I'm completely beat, so I'm going to go fall into my bed now…" I opened my bedroom door.

I turned around and faced my mom. She still had a look of concern on her face. "Relationships don't always make sense, Leah. Things happen that are beyond our realm of thinking." I cocked my head as I listened to her. "Sometimes, you just have to let go of the control and give in to fate." And there it was. We weren't talking about her and Charlie anymore. "Give Embry a chance," my mom suggested.

My jaw dropped for probably the hundredth time in the past twelve hours. Jesus, did _everyone_ know about this but me? God, I was a moron.

"Well Sue, I think I'm going to take off and see Bella and the baby!" I heard Charlie exclaim in a higher pitch than normal. I really hoped he wouldn't feel awkward around me now. So he banged my mom, why should I care? It was her life.

She turned around and exclaimed back, "Give me a few minutes to get ready, and I'll go with you. I was going to take Jacob some leftovers and check up on Seth, anyway. We might as well ride together."

Now my _mom_ was going to the leeches place? What was going on around me?

"We'll talk about this later, Leah. I promise." She gave me a slight wink. "Charlie needs all the support he can get right now." She quickly kissed me and told me she loved me.

After the car left the driveway, I crawled into my bed and pulled the covers over my head. For the first time in my entire life, I was _terrified_.


	28. All this thinking makes my head hurt

_I let the day go by  
_

_I always say goodbye  
_

_I watch the stars from my window sill  
_

_The whole world is moving and I'm standing still  
_

_Woke up and wished that I was dead  
_

_With an aching in my head  
_

_I lay motionless in bed  
_

_The night is here and the day is gone  
_

_And the world spins madly on_

_"World Spins Madly On"_

_-Weepies_

* * *

**Chapter 28:**

**All this thinking makes my head hurt**

I spent nearly a week laying in bed just _thinking_. I spent a lot of time reassessing my relationship with Embry. The signs were all right in front of me. It was obvious that he cared about me. Hell, he'd stood up to Sam for me.

Embry was very good at understanding my thought process. He always seemed to know what I was thinking, even when we weren't wolves. He wasn't very pushy with me either. He handled my reactions to most things quite calmly. I knew that it wasn't easy for him; not seeing me for almost an entire week, but I had warned him that I needed time to think about this.

And even with the pull he felt towards me, he didn't overstep his bounds. He respected that I wanted my space. As hard as it must have been for him, he didn't call, and he didn't visit.

By the third day that I hadn't left my room, my mom became concerned that something else was bothering me. At first she thought I was mad at her for not telling me about Embry. But that was not the case. She hadn't known for very long. She told me that after I left the pack, Embry came to her and explained his situation. That was when she and him had formed their little plan to spy on me. He would talk to me using her as an excuse. He would get to see me, get updates on me and my brother, and tell her all about it. It was a win-win situation for everyone.

My mom doted on me all week long, trying everything in the world she could think of to try and get me out of my room. She even tried screaming that the house was on fire. I just asked her to roast me some marshmallows. She didn't find that funny.

Finally, I told her that there was nothing wrong with me. I just didn't feel like being social. I wasn't sad, I wasn't angry, and I hadn't stopped eating, thanks to her. She was constantly bringing me food and pampering the hell out of me. Occasionally, she would sit and chat with me, and I would just listen. She talked about love and imprinting and all that nonsense. After a while though, I tuned her out. I just wanted to form my _own_ opinion on the whole subject. I was just thankful that she had a new boyfriend to get her away from me for a while.

Charlie was always at our house now. He was relying heavily on my mother to help keep him sane in our world. She kindly obliged. She even went as far as going with him daily to the Cullen's house, along with Seth. She didn't like it. In fact, she was just as uncomfortable, if not more so, than I was around the leeches. But Charlie needed her, and she wasn't going to disappoint him.

I hadn't seen a lot of my brother. He spent most of his free time with the Cullens and Jacob. I had gotten over the fact that he was surrounding himself with vampires. I had witnessed how much the Cullens seemed to value his friendship. I finally figured out that they probably weren't a threat to him. Bella possibly might get all "grr…I'm going to kill you" again, but the rest of the Cullens could control her. Plus, Jacob wouldn't let him get killed. Not on purpose anyway. And if he got hurt again, I knew Carlisle would take care of him. I didn't foresee that happening, but it was nice to know that there was a doctor around, just in case. Carlisle was good at his job, even if he _was_ a vampire.

I didn't realize how much I had missed Seth's annoying voice until I heard him knock on my door.

"Leah? Can I come in?"

"I already told mom, I'm not hungry. I grabbed some leftover chicken from the fridge this morning."

"It's not about that." Seth opened the door. So much for getting permission to enter my room. "Mom didn't send me up here to spy on you."

"Okay, what's up then?" I questioned.

"First, are you sure you're okay? You've been acting very strange lately…"

"Strange is who I am," I shrugged.

"Right. Okay. Just let me know if there's anything that you need me to do for you."

"Seth, I'm not _dying_. I'm just mulling over my thoughts."

"Kay." He smiled happily. "So, Jake wants to talk to you."

"Don't the vampires have a phone? He has our number."

"He said he'd rather do it in person."

"Well then, he can bring his lazy ass to me. I've done enough running around on the leeches land."

Seth finally got frustrated with my short irritable responses.

"What is with you lately, Leah?"

Well, for one thing, I was confused as hell. I just shrugged with no emotion on my face. "Nothing's wrong. I just don't feel like doing anything with, you know…_people_."

"Just go talk to him. It's really important."

"Someone dead?" I raised my eyebrows, almost hopeful. Seth shook his head. "Oh, well, did he say what it was about?" I saw him lower his head and stick out his bottom lip. What did _he_ have to pout about?

"Just go as a wolf," he grumbled.

Like I would go out to the Cullen's any other way? But now my curiosity was peaked.

"Why?" I questioned. He obviously knew more than he was telling me.

"Something to do with the pack, which has expanded by the way." He saw me staring at him for more of an explanation. "Embry and Quil came to talk to Jake a few days ago. They're running with us now."

Wow, you miss a lot when you barricade yourself in your room for seven days. It would take some getting used to sharing Quil's thoughts again. But since Embry's confession, I hadn't been able to think anything unpleasant about him.

"There's more than that, which is, of course, why Jake wants to talk to you. I told him I'd pass on the message." He paused, and then I saw the look on his face completely change. "Hey, how come you didn't tell me that Embry imprinted on you?"

"It's kind of complicated." I hopped off of my bed. I might as well find out what Jacob wanted.

"So, how come you're not all…" Seth started doing some horrible 80's dance moves around my room.

"What? Spazzing out? Having a seizure?" I knew that he was trying to convey "happy" with his dancing, but it was _horrible_ and I couldn't _not_ tease him.

"I thought you _wanted_ someone in your life." Seth didn't understand why I wasn't jumping for joy. And truthfully, I _should_ be dancing around my room like an idiot. I wouldn't be alone forever now. But I was too frustrated trying to understand why I wasn't imprinting on Embry. I felt bad that he wanted to be with me forever, but I couldn't muster up the same feeling. He was a nice enough guy, but I still couldn't feel for him what he felt for me. I just didn't want him to be stuck with a miserable person for the rest of his life.

"It's not that I don't like him. He's a nice guy and all, but, I can't force myself to feel something that not there," I frowned.

"You haven't even given him a chance yet. How do you know there's nothing there?"

"Because if there was, don't you think I would have imprinted on him?"

"I think that you're so independent that a stupid werewolf rule isn't going to tell you who you want to be with." He paused to think. "And if you _did_ imprint on someone, you'd probably find a way to do something else. You're stubborn, Leah."

Indeed I was. Maybe Sam was right. Maybe the "imprinting" gene was defective in me. Everything else about me seemed to be defective.

"Thanks, kid. You know, you're pretty insightful for fifteen years old." I punched him in the shoulder playfully.

"Sixteen in a few months." He grinned widely.

"Yeah, I heard mom let you drive Billy home the other night."

He looked at the floor sheepishly. "I hit the mailbox…" I busted into laughter. "Shut up! It was dark!"

I continued to laugh, so he just shrugged and walked out of my room.

"Tell Jacob I accept his invitation to talk." I followed him. "I'm just going to take a quick shower first." If I was going to go out running as a wolf, I wanted to start out as squeaky clean as possible.

Seth bounded happily out of the house to deliver my message to Jake. I quickly took my shower, and then threw on a jogging outfit. I had decided to jog for a while on two feet. Nothing cleared my head better than a good quiet run. I knew I could sort through some things that way. And since I was running to meet Jacob anyway, I could just start out on two feet, and then phase once I got to the Cullen's place.

My mom looked shocked that I was leaving the house. I couldn't tell whether or not she was worried or happy. She knew I was impulsive. And after an entire week of the two of us not really talking a lot, she was probably concerned about what I was going to do.

"Don't worry, I'll be back soon."

"No!" She was quick to exclaim. Wow, did she really want me out of the house _that_ badly? She softened her tone. "No, go out and have some fun. Live a little."

"The last time I _lived a little_, I ended up in the back of a police car." I laughed thinking about a night involving alcohol, a stolen street sign, and a vicious little Chihuahua. I sighed, "God, that was a fun night…"

"Well, have fun, but not _that_ much fun," she warned me.

"Doubt I'll get into any trouble. This trip is all business. So I probably won't be out too late partying." I studied her expression carefully and was curious about something. "Charlie must be coming over. That's the _real_ reason you want to get rid of me, isn't it?" I winked at her.

"Actually, Charlie isn't coming over until tonight. He's visiting Bella and Nessie today." I could hear the strain in her voice as she spoke about them as if they were normal people. She was trying very hard, for Charlie, to be okay with Bella's situation.

I waved goodbye to my mom as I started to jog out towards the Cullen's land. And as soon as my feet started to hit the pavement, I felt all of my emotions relax. I was able to finally think rationally about the situation with Embry and I. It didn't matter that I hadn't imprinted on him, because in order for him to have imprinted on me, that means he had to care about me. And if he cared about me, that was enough motivation for me to want to see where this led. I decided that after I talked to Jacob, I needed to have a talk with Embry, too.

By the time I got to the border, I could tell Jacob was getting impatient. He let out a howl.

"Yeah, yeah, I hear you ya overgrown mutt." I grumbled as I tore my pants off. I quickly rolled them up and snapped them against my leg. I did the same with my shirt. A few seconds later, I was racing through the woods with my snout in the air.

Jacob sounded irritated, _God, __finally__. Where the hell have you been? Seth said you left two hours ago_…

_If I had known you were going to miss me __this__ much, I would have made you wait longer,_ I chuckled. _Patience. Look it up in the dictionary sometime._

_This isn't funny, Leah. I don't like to be away from Nessie._

I was going to reply with some smart ass remark, but I was too distracted by the images of Nessie in his brain. I gasped. She was the size of _at least_ a six-month-old. She was still growing rapidly.

_Still no cure to slow her growing?_ I could feel how panicked he was. Nessie wasn't only growing at an alarming rate, she was learning things that no week old baby should know how to do. Today, she had called Bella "Momma" for the first time. But that wasn't the only word she'd spoken. The exact phrase was _Momma, where is Grandpa_? I was alarmed at how clearly she had spoken. And I also laughed at the fact that old Charlie _was_ a Grandpa.

I saw Jacob trotting into view. We both slowed our pace and met each other. It felt good to see his sorry ass. We started to walk side by side as he caught me up on Nessie's growth spurts.

_It's really starting to scare me, how fast she's maturing. If she keeps growing at this rate…_ He cut his thoughts off. He didn't want to think about Nessie growing so old so quickly. It would be just his luck to imprint on someone who, ironically, had the lifespan of a domesticated dog. Jacob continued, _She's actually the reason that I wanted to talk to you…alone_…

Now that he had said something, I noticed that I didn't hear Seth, Embry, or Quil. He quickly answered my question before I even asked, _I told them to phase. This conversation is strictly between the two of us._

That made me wonder where they had gone. Seth was probably at the Cullen's. He loved to play with Nessie. And Nessie seemed to take comfort in the fact that he was around. Everyone loved my brother. It was kind of hard not to. Having him around was like having a stupid, but loving Labrador puppy.

Quil was probably with Claire. So where was the one wolf that I needed to talk to? I would have to deal with that later. I turned my focus back to why Jake had brought me out here.

_How bad is it, Jake_? I questioned. I knew he wouldn't lie to me. He might try and hide the truth from Seth. And he probably didn't feel comfortable sharing it with Embry and Quil. But there was no bullshit with us. That's why we fought all the time; we were _constantly_ telling each other the hard truth.

_Carlisle is still doing research. But, so far, nothing has come up. He won't say anything to the rest of the family, but I think he's pretty freaked, too. No one knows what to do. Alice can't see Nessie's future either, and that terrifies me._

_But she was never able to see Nessie, right? That's why she was always hanging around you when Bella was pregnant; because the kid gave her a headache._

_That's true,_ he said. _But I started to wonder if the reason that she can't see her future is because she might not have one_?

_She's __definitely__ got a future,_ I grumbled a little. Like it or not, I knew the little mutant would be sticking around. I don't think the fates would be _that_ cruel to Jacob. He heard my optimism.

_Look who's become all cheery._ He teased me.

_I wouldn't go that far_, I laughed.

_Aw, Leah Clearwater's all grown up. _He continued to hassle me.

_Yeah, this is what maturity looks like. Take a good look…because Lord knows __you'll__ never experience it._ I teased him back.

_Now there's the Leah that __I__ know,_ he nodded.

Things became quiet between us.

_So you hauled me out here to talk about Nessie_? I questioned. _Not that I don't appreciate the update and all, but…what exactly can __I__ do about the situation?_

_You've already done more than I ever expected, Leah. I wouldn't want to ask you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable._

I gave him a weird look. We were on the Cullen's territory talking about his infant girlfriend. _That_ was uncomfortable.

_The thing is, I need to focus on helping Nessie right now, so that makes me kind of lax in the wolf department. And now that Embry and Quil have joined our ranks, there needs to be a little more structure in the pack._

Great, he'd brought me out here to tell me that I had to follow my brother's command. I wonder if there was a cliff nearby that I could throw myself off of…

_Seth's a good kid, and I love him to death, but he's not ready to handle that kind of responsibility._ He surprised me with his response. _Besides, I don't know how permanent he is to this pack._ He glanced at me. _I can't think of anyone else who would be better at ordering people around than you._

I stopped dead in my tracks. Had Jacob just put _me_ second in command? It took me a moment to gain my composure.

I didn't know what to say. _Okay, just answer me one question: Are you __high__?_ Really? _I_ was his first choice? _Are you sure you wouldn't rather choose Embry?_ And I hated myself for saying it, _Or_ _Quil_?

_They're my friends. And I'm happy to have them on board, but I can't count on them the way that I can count on you. _He let out a huff of air. _Your loyalty has meant more to me than you realize. I don't care what your reasoning was, you followed me when it counted most._ He paused. _I want you in my life, Leah._

Well, this was unexpected.


	29. Where the hell did my brain go?

_You make a first impression_

_I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind_

_Even the best fall down sometimes_

_Even the stars refuse to shine_

_Out of the back you fall in time_

_I somehow find_

_You and I collide_

_"Collide" _

_-Howie Day_

* * *

**Chapter 29: **

**Where the hell did my brain go?**

Jacob was staring curiously at me, _Um, are you okay? You haven't said a word for five minutes now…_

I had gotten so used to getting lost in thought this past week, that I didn't realize how silent my thoughts had _actually_ become.

I nodded, _I'm just trying to figure out at what point in my life things actually started to go __right__._ It was all a little weird. _I'm just so used to things going wrong that I get a little freaked out when something goes right_, I admitted.

_So do you want the job or not_?

_Of course._ I was still flabbergasted.

_Cool._

_Are you sure you're not high_? I laughed.

_Oh yes, because I spend all of my free time smoking pot with Edward behind his garage,_ Jacob snapped sarcastically.

I couldn't help but laugh at the mental picture of Jacob and Edward passing a doobie back and forth and laughing about how shiny Edward was in the sunlight.

_Don't make me regret making you my second in command._ He shook his head.

_I won't disappoint you,_ I said seriously.

_I know_, Jacob nodded.

I took a moment to realize how much this truly meant to me. The fact that he had chosen me for this position meant that he wanted to keep me in his pack permanently. And, he was also keeping his promise that I wouldn't ever have to go back to Sam. That really meant the world to me.

This would be interesting. When Jacob wasn't around, that meant that I was in charge. It was a bit intimidating, but I had confidence that I could pull it off. It couldn't be _that_ hard to manage three other wolves.

I had to wonder how those three other wolves were taking the news that _I_ would be telling them what to do. Those suckers were mine. Quil would probably be a smartass. Ha, he could be the new me. I was the one who used to cause trouble in Sam's pack. I'm sure that Quil would resent me enough to fight me on everything I said. Embry would be a lot easier. He would probably be the complete opposite of Quil, because he would listen to everything I said. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't use Embry's feelings for me against him.

Seth would be a completely different story. I understood now why he had been pouting in my room earlier. But it was only natural for him to feel upset. He _had_ been the first one to follow Jake when he broke away from the pack. I hoped he understood why Jacob chose me.

_He does_, Jacob interrupted my thoughts. _He's not exactly happy about it. When he found out that his big sister was going to be giving him orders, he was caught so off-guard that he actually ran into a tree._ He laughed. I laughed with him when I saw the memory. He didn't just _tap_ the tree, he _slammed_ into it head first. _But after I explained my reasons, he seemed pretty okay with it._

_And what do Embry and Quil think_? I was almost afraid to ask.

_They're both just so stoked to be part of the pack that they don't care,_ Jacob shrugged. There was a short period of silence, followed by a laugh. I grumbled a little to myself. I knew _exactly_ what he was thinking. _So_, _you and Embry_? He teased.

_Shut up, Jacob_.

_Seriously_? He cackled.

_Hey, you're the one who's going to be smooching on vampire girl in a few years_.

_Watch it_. I had obviously touched a nerve mentioning Nessie.

_Alright, alright, I can see how much you miss the kid. Get back to her before I throw up from all the __love__,_ I laughed.

He had already started racing back to the Cullen's place as he responded, _Embry's at home._ Apparently, he'd overheard my thoughts about needing to talk to Embry. I was actually a little surprised at Jake's reaction to Embry and I. He was pretty damn cool about it. Nessie had really mellowed him out_. His mom grounded him again for "sneaking out." It's gotta suck having your parents in the dark about something this big_.

I seconded that. It was hard enough keeping the dangers that Seth and I were constantly facing from my mother. I couldn't imagine having to lie about _everything_ to her. Embry's mom probably thought that he was some horrible juvenile delinquent committing crimes by moonlight, when in reality, his job was to _stop_ bad things from happening.

Embry's mother had no clue that he was a werewolf. And the laws prohibited him from telling her. So, she thought he was just being rebellious. I always thought that the "not aging" thing would eventually be a _huge_ clue that something else was going on. But, since his dad wasn't in the picture, she probably assumed that Embry was just acting out and being an angry teenage kid.

It had to suck for him; growing up without a father. I hadn't been very nice to him about that. In fact, I was a downright bitch most of the time we had shared the same thoughts as wolves. I figured that since I was in such pain, that everyone else should have to suffer, too. I needed to make amends for that. Embry hadn't deserved my misplaced rage. He was already going through enough, having to hide things from his mother. I remember once seeing through his eyes a picture of his mother screaming at him for sneaking out and causing trouble. He didn't say anything back. He just stared into space and tried not to lose his temper or cry.

_I'm sure Embry's mom won't be clueless for too much longer. Now that you two are __in love__, it's only a matter of time before you lose your temper and phase in front of her_.

_We are __not__ in love,_ I growled a little. Though he was right about me and my temper.

_What the hell do you think imprinting __is_?

Well, _obviously_ Embry was in love with me. He had said so that night on the cliff. But what did I feel for him? God, relationships were so confusing.

_Tell me about it,_ Jacob huffed. _I used to think of nothing but cars, but now it's the Nessie channel 24/7…_

No freaking kidding.

_Yeah, I know._ It did get a little tiring to hear him constantly doting on her.

_You'll feel it one day too, Leah. It's a strong bond._

_No, thanks. If I never __bond__ with anyone again, I'll be perfectly happy._ I had already experienced a bond like that before. And it nearly killed me when that bond had been broken. Even if I _could_ feel something for someone else, I would always love Sam. Ironically, I think that's the reason that I hated him so much. Since I loved him, I would never be able to love anyone else. And that pissed me off. It would be so much easier if I could just _stop_ loving him.

_Until Nessie, I used to think that I would never stop loving Bella,_ Jacob sighed.

_And you haven't_. I could feel his love for Bella still weighing in his heart.

_But it's not the same kind of love. I do love her. She's my best friend, even if she __does__ stink. But the love that I have for Bella can't even hold a candle to what I feel for Nessie._

I still didn't understand how he could love Bella after everything she had put him through.

_It's the same reason you still love Sam even though he left you for Emily,_ Jacob explained. _See, no one is perfect…_ I scoffed. Bella damn sure thought she was. Jacob continued, _We all screw up. Things happen. Some of it we have control over; but most of it, we don't. All relationships go through periods of complications. But the fact of the matter is, if you love someone, you still want to be around when things suck._

_Thank you, Dr. Phil._ I rolled my eyes. _Since when are you so in touch with your feelings_?

_A lot's happened in the past couple of weeks._ I could see he was back at the mansion. But I had one more question for him before he phased back.

_Hey, have you talked to your dad since Nessie was born_?

_We've spoken on the phone once or twice._ He sounded sad. _Why_?

_I just thought maybe you should visit him. I'm sure he's lonely. Rachel is always with Paul, and Charlie spends most of his free time with Bella…or in my mom's bed…_

I heard Jacob snort, _Oh thanks, now I'll never be able to get __that__ image out of my head._ He curled his lip up in disgust. _Now I'm going to need like ten years worth of therapy._ He shook his head, trying to get rid of the mental picture I had created.

_Not even a lifetime's worth of therapy could help you,_ I laughed.

_Well, I guess that explains why your mom is spending so much of her free time playing nice with a bunch of vampires. And here I thought she was just trying to keep an eye on Seth._ She was probably doing that, too. _Hmm, who can I get __you__ to sleep with so you'll brave the Cullen's mansion just like your mom_? _Oh, I know __just__ the guy_… I could feel the stupid grin on his face.

_Phase back before I kill you,_ I threatened.

He howled in laughter and I felt him phase out. I'm sure he was still chuckling in amusement. Okay, it _was _pretty funny. I started to giggle as I made my way back home.

When I walked through the front door, my mother greeted me with a batch of muffins.

"Try this." She practically shoved the baked good at my face.

"Who are you, and what have you done with my mother?" I questioned.

"Just try it."

I shrugged and took a bite. _Oh my God_… The muffin was _delicious_. I didn't know my mom could bake! I quickly inhaled it and searched for another one.

"What do you think? I got the recipe from Emily." She looked at me curiously.

Oh, right, I hadn't praised the treat out loud. I was going to have to get used to talking out loud again as opposed to thinking everything in my head like I had been doing for the past week.

"I would answer you, but I'm too busy thinking about how awesome that muffin was," I smirked. My mom smiled in satisfaction and opened a tupperware container to get me another one. She handed it to me. I savored every bite. "What are you baking for, anyway?" I asked with my mouth full.

"I decided I was going to go by the Cullen's place today after all."

"Um, you do know that they _don't_ eat anything without a pulse, right?" I questioned as I stared at the muffins.

"I made them for Jacob, Seth, and Charlie."

"What about me? I like muffins, too. Are you really going to make your only daughter go hungry and muffinless?"

My mom rolled her eyes at me and laughed. "There's another container on top of the fridge."

"Sweet." _Score_.

She went back to packing the muffins up/ "You weren't out for very long."

"Told you I'd be back." I paused. "I'm just going to change into a different outfit and head back out." There was only one place that I wanted to go.

I disappeared into my room and started digging through my closet. My clothes were all pretty boring. I didn't have much to choose from. I didn't own many nice things. I used to until my temper started getting the better of me. The day that I shredded my favorite pair of jeans after having an argument with Sam and exploding into fur, I vowed never to spend another dime on brand name clothes.

I laughed at how stupid this was. Why was I trying to become someone that I wasn't? Man, I was being such a _girl_. I threw my closet door shut, and grabbed a pair of shorts out of my dresser.

After I changed, I quickly looked at myself in the mirror. I tilted my head in bewilderment. I hardly recognized the reflection staring back at me. The hateful, bitter Leah was fading. My astonishment continued as I was able to force out a genuine smile. I guess my life didn't completely suck after all. I had a place in my pack, the days of protecting the vampires was _over_, and everyone I cared about was happy.

Before I left, I went into the kitchen to say goodbye to my mom…and to steal another muffin.

"Heading out again?" she questioned.

"Yep. How long do you think you'll be out at the vampire's place?"

"Hopefully not too long." I saw her cringe. "But it's hard to pry Charlie away from there these days."

I sighed, "Yeah, the things we do for people we care about…"

"Oh, it's not all bad," she assured me. "I'm always surprised by something advanced that Renesmee does. Sometimes she'll do something that will make me think about you and your brother when you were younger. You were both very intelligent kids."

"Yeah, but _we_ weren't potty trained when we were three days old." I rolled my eyes.

"No, unfortunately for your father and I, you weren't."

I suddenly let out a laugh remembering Seth's potty training days. He had gone through a phase where he would pee on everything.

"I remember when Seth peed on your flowers. You were pissed."

She laughed softly, "As crazy as it sounds, it's kind of neat to watch her learn things. She's a cool little kid, even if she is half vampire." She shivered a little.

"Well, have fun watching Baby Einstein learning how to recite the Declaration of Independence," I joked. Or at least, I thought it was a joke. But with Nessie, who knows? Anything was possible with that kid.

"Mmhm, and you have fun with Embry…"

How on Earth did she know where I was going? Her mother's intuition was a little spooky sometimes. I finally got why Alice could sometimes be a nuisance to the rest of her family. Psychics were annoying.

"Have fun and stay out of trouble." Mom smiled at me.

"You too," I smiled back as I walked out.

As I made my way to Embry's house, I tried to figure out what I was going to say to him. After an entire week of me completely ignoring the fact that he was in love with me, he deserved to hear some kind of heartfelt speech or something.

I grunted. I hated heartfelt speeches. They were all so generic. I was trying to come up with something, _anything_, to tell him. But my mind stayed completely blank as I paced towards his place. I got aggravated at myself. _Stupid mind_. I had spent an entire week with nothing but my thoughts, and my mind was choosing _this_ exact moment to completely run away from me? I mumbled something about jamming a q-tip in my ear to shake my brain up a little.

By the time I reached Embry's house, I still had no clue what to say. How do you go from, _Hello, how are you_ to _I know you love me, but I don't love you, but let's date, anyway_?

The brain was still missing when I knocked on the front door. Suddenly, a thought occurred to me. What if Embry's mother was here? Jake had said he was supposed to be "grounded." If the town's resident "bad seed" came knocking at her front door asking to see her _underage_ son, she might freak. I had to come up with an excuse pretty quickly if that was the case.

I heard shuffling around behind the door. _Crap_. _Think Leah, think_. It didn't take me long to get it. Seth and Embry went to the same school. They were pretty good friends. I could just say Seth needed to borrow some notes or something.

It was his mother at the door. Interestingly enough, she wasn't frowning at me.

"Wow, Leah Clearwater?" I didn't know if the fact that she recognized me was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Hi, Mrs. Call."

"I haven't seen you in ages." The last time we had seen each other was my dad's funeral. And even then, we never really spoke. She just doled out her condolences, and then ran off to make a casserole of some kind for my mom. Why did adults feel the need to cook when someone died? _Here, I know your husband is dead, but this broccoli slathered in cheese will make it __all__ better._

"I know, it's been a while."

"How are you?" she questioned.

"Pretty good." I peeked around her inside the house to see if Embry was around. "I actually came to talk to Embry."

"Oh?" she asked curiously.

"Well, my brother missed a couple days of school…" I tried not to laugh. He'd missed _more_ than a couple of days. It was a good thing he was smart, otherwise he would be completely lost the few times he _did_ show up to class. "He wanted me to see if he could borrow Embry's notes." I smiled, satisfied that I _had_ come up with this excuse.

"For what class?"

Damn it. I hadn't thought that far in advance. Let's see, what classes was Seth taking this semester. "Um, Gym…" Well, that was stupid. What kind of notes would you take in gym? How to keep your balls from sweating? I wasn't good at this lying thing. I frowned, "Is he home?"

I think she could see through my façade.

"He's grounded, Leah. No visitors."

I was about to give up when I saw Embry walk up behind her.

"Just give me a few minutes mom. Please?"

I heard her grumble something as she walked away. She was probably angry that she couldn't control him. I saw his expression lighten up when his mother disappeared.

He leaned against the door frame and smiled, "It's good to see you. I was getting a little worried that you were never going to talk to me again."

"Why would you think that?" I questioned.

"I dunno. I just thought you were mad at me."

"No." I shook my head and looked down at his feet. He wasn't wearing any shoes. "No, as a matter of fact, go get some shoes on. We're going out."

He looked at me, speechless.


	30. It's not like I have anything left

_Today when love has slipped away_

_That's when I picture you standing on the shore_

_And all my sorrows, oh how they disappear_

_And I don't feel so lonely anymore_

_Tomorrow when it seems so far away_

_That's when I recall the way you watched me fall_

_And all my tears, they will turn to sand_

_And I won't feel so lonely anymore_

_"Not so Lonely"_

_-The Coral_

* * *

**Chapter 30:**

**Well, it's not like I have anything left to lose**

Embry snuck past his mom so he and I could talk. I did feel bad that he was disobeying her on account of me. But it was important that we talk about this. I didn't really have a plan on where we should go. So I just started walking, and Embry followed.

"So, what's on your mind?" he asked.

"You seem to know me better than I know myself, so why don't _you_ tell _me_?" I wondered if he would guess right.

"Well, you're floating on cloud nine right now because Jacob pretty much put you in charge." Okay, one for one. "And you're glad that I joined you guys, but you're a bit irritated about Quil." He was still right. "You're a little uneasy, so that must mean that your mom and brother are with Jake at the Cullen's." He looked at me to see how he was doing so far. I nodded to convey his success. "And, you keep biting your lip, so I'm guessing that you're still a little unsure about this whole "imprinting" thing."

I was shocked at how well he knew me.

"Wow, anything else?" It was a little freaky that he had pretty much summed up _exactly_ how I was feeling at the moment.

"You're worried about my sneaking out and lying to my mom." He shook his head. "Don't be. I'll be eighteen in a few months. And when I'm legally an adult, I won't have to do all this sneaking around anymore."

"I just don't want your mother to think that I corrupted you."

"Who knows? You might. Give it a few months." He grinned suggestively at me.

I was too shocked to speak. Had he just made some weird teenage sexual innuendo at me? Well, I guess I shouldn't be _too_ shocked. He _was_ seventeen. I shrugged; all teenage boys think the same. I let him have his moment.

"So, are you still trying to figure out what all this means?" he questioned.

"I'm done trying to figure things out." I shook my head. "Thinking only gives me a headache."

"Okay, so what does _that_ mean?"

"I know you care about me, _a lot_," I frowned. I really did hate that he felt so strongly. When you fall too hard for someone, it hurts all the more when they break your heart. "And I want you to know what you're in for…"

"God, you make it sound like a death sentence," Embry laughed.

"I've got a lot of baggage. I'm not the most stable person in the world."

"That's one of the reasons I care about you so much. You're so passionate about everything. I like the fact that you don't lie about your emotions." He smiled. I laughed. I couldn't hide my emotions even if I _wanted_ to. I sighed. I still didn't understand why he wanted to be with me.

"Why'd you choose me?" I questioned. It was odd asking that question, but we were here to be honest.

Embry just smiled and shrugged, "Why'd Jacob choose Nessie? Why'd Quil choose Claire?" I noticed that he left Sam and Emily out of the picture. I appreciated that. "It's fate."

That's not exactly the answer that I wanted. I still didn't want to accept this whole "fate" and "destiny" crap.

"Come on, it's gotta be more than that."

"I already told you once, love is complex. The more questions you ask about it, the more confused you're going to be. Sometimes, it's so complex that it's the _simplest _answers that confuse you the most."

Well, he was right about the "confused" part. In fact, the more he talked about it, the more baffled I became. So, instead of confusing myself further, I just shrugged and nodded.

"Okay." I guess if I was going to give this thing a fair shot, I would just have to trust him. "I'll have to take your word for that." I replayed that sentence in my head. Had I just admitted that I was trusting someone again? Was I really ready to do that?

Embry continued reading my thoughts. "I know you have had some trust issues in the past." This whole constantly guessing my thoughts even when I was human was going to take some getting used to. "But you don't have to worry about that with me. I won't disappoint you."

"I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt," I said warily. "But if I ever find out that you've been less than honest with me…" When I looked into his eyes, I couldn't force myself to be threatening with him. Damn his sweet face.

"Well, you should take comfort in the fact that I couldn't lie to you even if I wanted to. We'll be sharing the same thoughts again." He smiled. "It's hard to lie in our thoughts."

"But not impossible." I could think of a few times I had completely bullshitted my way through a few conversations with Sam. And I thought of all the times that I had been able to completely keep some of my thoughts to myself when I was a wolf.

"Hey, when did you and Quil end up leaving behind Sam and the others?" I questioned.

"The day that you told me that Jake imprinted," he answered. "Of course, I waited a few days before I went to talk to Jacob. But, that was the day that I completely shut Sam out."

"Why that day?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I was afraid that I was going to lose you."

"Lose me? To what? The little vampire baby?" I laughed. I couldn't imagine that Sam had instilled _that_ much fear into the pack about the little cross-bred infant.

Embry took a moment before he answered, "No. I was never actually afraid of the kid. The rest of the guys were, but I had other things on my mind." He looked at me.

"Oh, you mean…" I realized that _I_ must have been constantly on his mind after I'd left the pack. I felt horrible for putting Embry through that. But it's not like I knew how he felt about me. And even if I had, I can't say that I wouldn't still do the exact same thing. "So, the fact that Jake imprinted has no effect on you whatsoever? You don't hate Nessie?" Geeze, it still felt weird saying her name without utter hatred.

"On the contrary, when you told me that Jake had imprinted on her, I was relieved."

Okay, that didn't make any sense at all. I'm sure Embry could read the confusion on my face.

"When you told me that he imprinted, I started to freak out." He took a breath before he went on. "See, I thought that Jake had imprinted on _you_. Even though I imprinted on you, no one in the pack besides Sam knew that. Who's to say it's impossible for two wolves to imprint on the same person? You don't feel the same pull that I do. And I thought that because you had never imprinted on me, that you would have no problem being with someone else, especially if it was Jacob." He lowered his eyes.

I stopped in my tracks and kept my gaze fixed straight in front of me. Embry stopped, too. He probably thought I was thinking about the possibility of Jake and I ending up together. He was dead wrong. Jacob and me? I laughed under my breath, and then let the chuckles pour out.

Sure, we were friends. Maybe even closer. But the possibility of the two of us hooking up was completely absurd to me. I wouldn't deny that we had a bond. We had both faced the same hardships. We understood each other's pain. In short, we were basically the same person. We were so alike that if we _didn't_ get some time apart, we would probably rip each other to pieces. Embry stared at me as I laughed.

"You think that Jake and I have _feelings_ for each other?" I gasped through the laughter. "If he _had _imprinted on me, I would have killed his ass during the first date!"

We started to walk again.

"I know that _now,_" Embry nodded. "But I didn't know what to think after you all left. I couldn't hear you anymore. When we would have our little chats, I would try so hard to read what you were thinking. Most of the time, I could. But the one thing I was never clear on was what was going on between you and Jake."

"Rest assured that _nothing_ really changed between the two of us." Then, I realized that that wasn't true. Jake and I had opened up to one another about our mutual feelings of despair. And it was kind of nice to know that I wasn't hurting alone. We _did_ become friends. But I don't think either one of us saw it as anything more, "Well, okay, we _are_ able to tolerate being around each other. But, we fight all the time. We are constantly at each other's throats about something," I laughed. "There were a couple of times right after we left the pack that I thought Seth was going to be left all alone, because I figured that Jake and I were going to kill one another."

"Why did you follow him if you didn't agree with what he was doing?"

I glared at Embry and frowned, "Come on, you know the answer to that."

Embry thought for a moment. "You really wanted away from Sam _that_ badly?"

"You don't know how much being under his command really, _really_ sucked for me." I couldn't think of any other way to sum it up.

"I think I have an idea," Embry said quietly. I guess being under Sam's command couldn't have been easy for him either, especially after Jake, Seth, and I left.

"Speaking of which, why exactly did you take so long to break away from Sam? Every time I talked to you, you told me that you weren't really listening to Sam anyway. I knew you never really wanted to fight. And you just said that Nessie didn't bother you."

"I had to wait for the right time."

_The right time._ I suddenly remembered that I had asked him this once before, and he had given me the same response. I finally understood. He didn't stay with Sam's pack because of loyalty. He stayed because he wasn't ready to tell me about the imprinting. He knew that he wouldn't be able to keep it from me any longer when we were sharing thoughts again. I thought back to how he said that he didn't want me to feel pressured to be with him.

"You…would have sacrificed your love for me if Jake _had_ imprinted?" I was extremely moved by the gesture.

"If you two _had_ wound up together, I wouldn't have interfered. I just want to see you happy."

I had never realized how noble and caring that Embry was. At seventeen years old, he understood the complexity of love. My mom had been right about wanting your loved ones to be happy. All we can hope for is for the people we love to find happiness. And that started to sting me, because all I wanted now was for Embry to be happy. And the only way that could happen would be for us to end up together. I knew I couldn't guarantee that. But I could at least try.

"Maybe we could give this whole thing a shot," I sighed. I saw his face light up. I didn't want to bring him down, but I wanted to be honest with him. "I can't promise anything. I just want you to know that I don't have the same feelings that you have for me."

"Give it time." He seemed so sure of himself. I hoped that confidence wouldn't come back to bite him in the ass.

"I just don't want to hurt you." I had been hurt enough to know that I would never be able to forgive myself for doing the same thing to someone else.

"I understand," he said.

"How can you be okay with all of this?" I knew it had to hurt him that I didn't love him back.

"Because you are the _one_ thing in my life that I have ever been sure about," he said with certainty.

I laughed, "Now if you start pulling all this "romance" crap and feeding me cheesy lines like that, this is _not_ going to work."

"Fair enough." Embry laughed as well. "I get it. You're the independent type. I can deal with that." He suddenly stopped walking and started slowly going in the opposite direction as me.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"Giving you your independence," he shrugged, and then a devious smile broke across his face,. "I'm going _this_ way." He started jogging down another path. "And you can go whichever way you want to." He had to know that I was going to follow him. How could I not? We hadn't finished our talk.

"Call, get your butt back here!" I raced after him. I caught up to him in no time. "You really think you could beat me in a footrace?" I laughed.

"Oh, you'd be surprised." Embry lifted his eyebrows at me.

"Bring it on." I dashed forward. Embry wasn't far behind.

To my surprise, Embry stayed pretty even with me for most of the run. He jumped a few steps ahead of me and spun around to face me, blocking my path.

"Since when are you faster than me?"

He shrugged, "Being the fastest wolf was never important to me. I knew what it meant to you."

He had been holding out on me. I wondered how long he had been letting me get my way without telling me.

I took a moment to recognize where our run had ended. We were back on the same cliff that we had been on the night that Embry told me about his feelings for me. I walked over to the edge and glanced down at the ocean crashing against the rocks below.

"Wanna jump? The current shouldn't be too strong today," Embry suggested.

"I've done enough _jumping_ into things for today." I shook my head. As a matter of fact, diving into this new relationship with Embry was probably the most terrifying thing I had ever done. Compared to that, cliff-diving was as safe as a basket of kittens.

It's not that the idea of cliff-diving scared me. I'd never been physically afraid of anything. It's the emotional fear that I had issues with. Physical scars heal. Emotional ones stick with you for life.

Embry continued with being in sync with my thoughts. "I won't let you get hurt, Leah. I promise."

I wasn't sure whether or not he meant he wouldn't let me get hurt cliff-diving, or if he could read deeper into my feelings about being emotionally hurt. Either way, it was sweet. And the reasoning didn't matter. What mattered is that he cared enough about me to keep me from hurting any way that he could.

I sighed, "I have a few conditions. I don't do the whole "candlelight romance" thing. I won't put up with any over-protective bullshit. No relationship talk when we're wolves. And I don't like to cuddle."

"You sure about this?" Embry seemed a little surprised.

I just nodded. Sure, what the hell? What else did I have to lose?


	31. Say it out loud: Change is good

_Any minute now, my ship is coming in  
_

_I'll keep checking the horizon  
_

_I'll stand on the bow, feel the waves come crashing  
_

_Come crashing down, down, down on me_

_"Waiting on my real life to begin"_

_-Colin Hay_

* * *

**Chapter 31:**

**Say it out loud: Change is good...**

I was amazed at how quickly the weeks flew by. It was interesting to see how many things around me changed, yet stayed the same. It is incredible how much can change over the course of twelve weeks.

Since everyone I knew was hanging out with vampires, I had no choice but to get comfortable with them. It amazed me how much my views on the family of vampires had changed. I still didn't _like_ them, but I didn't really view them as a threat anymore. These past few months, I had begrudgingly, and unwillingly gotten to know them all a little better. For the most part, it was just through everyone's thoughts. Seth and Jacob's in particular. But I had also spent quite a bit of time at the mansion, which is where everyone seemed to be hanging out these days.

I never would have thought that I would have gotten so familiar with them. Carlisle was by far the kindest. His concern for his family made me question whether or not he was really a vampire. He had saved more lives than any _human_ that I had ever met. I still didn't understand how he was able to stand the smell of blood _every_ day when he went to work. He just didn't _act_ like a vampire. He cared so much about his gifted little family. Honestly, I found Carlisle's _gift_ was the best. His gift was that he wasn't as annoying as the rest of them. And the love that he had for Esme was actually pretty incredible to witness.

Esme was very motherly and warm. When my mother was at the house, the two of them sat quietly in the corner together, trying to make sure Charlie was comfortable. Sometimes, Esme would strike up a friendly conversation with her. My mom once told me that Esme had complimented her on what beautiful children she had. I didn't believe it myself until I heard it in Seth's thoughts. When she offered Jake, Seth, and I food and shelter during the time we were protecting her family, I knew that I wouldn't be able to hate her. She reminded me too much of my own mother. I once made the mistake of telling my mom that. She smacked me on the back of the head for comparing her to a vampire.

Alice was just entertaining as hell. It was simple as that. Even if she wasn't a vampire, she probably _still_ wouldn't need sleep. She would more than likely still be wired even without a good nights rest. She was always doing something. She was a little bit of a control freak, but I guess that comes with the territory of knowing the future. The only thing that annoyed me about her was her obsession with clothes. I'm a girl, and I _still_ didn't understand why fashion was so damn important to her. But it was amusing to me the annoyed looks that Nessie would give her when she forced her to try on some new designer toddler clothes. Nessie had become Alice's little dress up doll. Amazingly enough, Bella allowed her to constantly use her daughter as a little manikin. She was probably just glad that Alice had found someone new to torture with clothes.

Jasper was the opposite of his hyperactive wife. His quiet and reserved ways had me extremely wary of him most of the time. He always had this odd look on his face. That look that he could snap at any minute. Kinda freaky. But, one day when Seth wasn't paying close enough attention, Jasper saved his ass from being mauled by some crazy stray vampire wandering through the woods. So, the mood-enhancing vampire was ok in my book.

Emmett was a dick. But a funny dick. The antagonistic relationship that Jake shared with Rosalie is the same kind of banter that Emmett and I sometimes would engage in. I wasn't around the vampires as a human very often, but when I was, he was the one that I swapped quips with. All the others were just much too sensitive. I still laughed about how touchy these leeches could be. Emmett was tough enough to make fun of himself, and not cry like a little bitch.

Rosalie hadn't changed much in my opinion. I could see that she hadn't been handed the easiest life, but that still didn't excuse some of her behavior. But I could sympathize with her, and that made me hate her a little less. Plus, she had been much more tolerant about Jacob and Nessie's relationship than I would have ever expected. But she still glared at all of us like she wanted to rip our heads off, especially Jacob.

I wasn't completely _in love_ with Nessie like everyone else who met her. Sure, she was a cute kid. Big deal. Though, it did impress me how she seemed to have this natural ability to make other's fall in love with her. Some kids have all the luck. She was still growing up way too fast. Her mind far exceeded the mental capacity that most adults possess. It _was_ kind of a hoot to watch her intelligence surpass her mother's. I laughed my ass off one day when I heard her correct Bella's grammar.

I'm sure after hearing my thoughts for several months, Edward hated my guts. But that didn't really bother me. He was actually so obsessed with finding out how to stop his daughter from turning into an old woman overnight that he had eased up on the whole "controlling" aspect in his life. Plus, now that Bella was stronger than he was, he didn't really fight against her so much. He was always cordial to Seth, Charlie, and my mom, and that's all I could really ask of him. Now that everyone had decided that the Cullen's mansion was the place to be, he was hearing a lot more voices in his head. It couldn't be easy having that many thoughts in one place. Believe me, I know. At least he could get away from it. No matter how far away I ran, I would still be able to hear my pack when we were wolves.

As for his wife, she still annoyed the tar out of me. Bella didn't like me. I didn't like her. I didn't ever see that changing. Even when she was human, I couldn't stand being around her. Our personalities clashed. Any time I was around her, I would automatically tense up. It amazed me that I could learn to tolerate her vampire cohorts, but I still liked her the very least of the bunch. It probably just had something to do with the fact that I still saw her as the girl who broke Jacob's heart. And even though that had mended, and he had forgiven her, I hadn't. I don't easily let go of something of that nature. I hadn't forgiven Sam for breaking my heart either, even though I was content with Embry.

Things with the two of us were interesting, to say the least. He definitely understood me more than Sam ever had. I still didn't feel a pull towards him, but our relationship was progressing along nicely. He was a lot more patient than I thought he would be. We were taking things massively slow. I wasn't a very physical person. I didn't really like to be touched. And Embry respected that. Pretty much the only thing we did physically was hold hands. Occasionally, his hand would brush my cheek, but our attachment to one another was more emotional than physical at this point in our lives.

My mom and Charlie were closer than ever. Unfortunately, that had driven a wedge between them and Billy. It wasn't that Billy was jealous of their newfound romance. He just didn't approve that my mother spent all of her free time hanging out with Charlie and a bunch of vampires. He wasn't too happy about Charlie's buddy-buddy relationship with the Cullens either. He came over pretty much all the time just to bitch about how irresponsible we were all being.

My mother, of course, stuck up for Charlie.

"Billy, you know Charlie is completely unaware of the vampires' existence. He knows that Bella isn't normal anymore, but beyond that, he doesn't have a clue, except his knowledge of werewolves…thanks to your son…"

"Yes, Jacob has a lot to attest for," Billy admitted. "I'm not exactly happy with the decisions he has been making lately."

"You can't hold your son accountable for imprinting on Renesmee," she disagreed. She was one of the few people that actually called Nessie by her birth name. Didn't matter what she was called, the kid was stuck with being teased for life. Then again, who in their right mind would tease a child whose parents are vampires, and whose boyfriend is a werewolf?

"I suppose it's not _all_ Jake's fault. In theory, if you think about it, it's actually Bella's fault."

I didn't care if he was right or wrong about that, because any time I heard Bella getting blamed for something, I wasn't going to argue. But, I couldn't even begin to imagine how this _was_ Bella's fault. His logic was complete crap.

Billy continued, "I warned her when she first moved back in with Charlie not to hang out with the Cullens. I told her to stay away from them. If she had just listened, then she would have never gotten involved, and that irritating abomination would have never been born." I knew that he was just venting. He missed his son, and his best friend was dating his _other_ best friend. For lack of a better term, he thought he was the _third wheel_.

My mom was starting to lose her temper, something she hadn't done since my dad's death.

"Oh yeah, and then we would have all lived happily ever after?" She rolled her eyes. "Give me a break, Billy. That kind of crap only happens in unimaginative novels and bad romance movies."

Looks like I wasn't the only one in the family who doubted the future sometimes.

Billy started ranting on about the Elders and the treaty and _blah, blah, blah_. I lost interest, so I wandered out of the living room to let Billy and mom finish their argument without an audience. It's not like I hadn't heard the end of it twenty times before. They had the same fight every time Billy came over.

As I stepped out on to my front porch, I noticed a blur of movement out of the corner of my eye. It was probably Embry. He knew I liked my space, but it was hard for him to give it to me, so I settled for knowing that he sometimes came around my place as a wolf. It didn't really bother me. We had been spending a decent amount of time together.

We we're kind of "dating", but it was nothing serious. I knew that if I didn't have feelings for him now, I probably never would. But Embry kept insisting that he knew we were going to end up together. Yeah, but would it be because I settled? And was he settling with me? Could we really be happy living our lives like that?

I had to laugh at Embry's crappy attempt to try and stay hidden from my sight.

"You're going to have to do better than that," I said in no particular direction. He would hear me no matter where I was standing.

He still didn't come out of hiding. Okay, he wanted to play? I quickly threw my clothes on the porch and phased. I could see through his eyes that he was in my backyard.

_Aw, come on, that's cheating,_ he frowned.

I loped into the backyard and saw him standing by the woods.

_So, what are you doing? Spying on me?_ I questioned.

_Just a little_. Embry wasn't going to lie. Even if I hadn't caught him, he probably still would have told me what he was up to. So far, he had been nothing but honest with me.

_You just wanted to see me take my clothes off_. I rolled my eyes.

_Yeah, because Lord knows I've never seen you naked before_. A few images flashed in his head from when I had lost my temper and phased in front of him. Actually, I had phased in front of the whole pack…several times. I _really_ didn't have good control over my temper.

_Dude, uncool_. Apparently Seth had seen the images in Embry's mind. I could see that he was running the Cullen's land. He pushed himself to think about something else other than his big sister running around in the nude. I laughed at how uncomfortable it made him. He could be so whiny sometimes. I didn't see what the big deal was. _You're my __sister__, Leah. I don't want to think about you like that_!

_Don't be such a baby. It really shouldn't bother you. It's perfectly natural,_ I shrugged.

_You mean to tell me that __this_… He flashed an image of his naked body through my mind, _...doesn't bother you?_

I opted to be overly dramatic. _Oh God, I just threw up in my mouth a little_. Then I laughed. _It's not __that__ big of a deal. So, we see each other naked sometimes. Whatever._

_But it's gross_! Seth whimpered.

I looked at Embry with a grin on my face. _Boys are such wussies._

_Ah come on, kid, stop throwing a fit and grow up._ Embry chuckled at my brother's unnecessary dramatics.

_I'm __not__ throwing a fit. I just think I should be able to run freely as a wolf and __not__ have to see naked images of my sister floating through my mind._ The more he spoke, the more it sounded like he was pitching a fit.

_Just…go back to running your little perimeters, Seth. The adults are talking now_. Embry busted into laughter.

_Since when are the two of you __adults__?_ Quil finally spoke up. I was surprised he had taken this long to say something, given he was usually the _first_ one to say something if someone thought about me naked. He usually quipped that he was _totally_ hotter than me.

_We aren't the ones spending all of our free time with toddlers, playing with Barbies, and having dress-up tea parties,_ I chuckled. That shut him up pretty quickly. He mumbled something about me being a harpie and then went back to being quiet.

Seth continued with talking about his feelings. _I'm happy for you and all, but maybe you could keep the disturbing images to yourself_?

_If you think you're uncomfortable now, just wait until you see the images of our honeymoon,_ I joked.

I saw Embry perk up and cock his head to the side. I could hear from his thoughts that he was trying to figure out whether or not I was being serious about the "honeymoon" part. God, me and my big mouth. If it was possible for werewolves to blush, my entire body would have been bright red.

Thankfully, we were distracted by an angry shout coming from my house. It sounded like my mom. Looks like she had completely lost her temper with Billy.

Embry glanced inside the house. _They arguing again_?

I nodded, _Yeah. I think it's just Billy's way of showing his concern for his friends. _

_He doesn't trust the Cullens._ Embry shook his head.

_And he misses his son_. I stated the obvious.

_Really? You think it has to do with Jake_?

_Part of it,_ I said. _I mean, think about it. His only son, and heir to the entire Quileute pack just runs off and imprints on the first vampire halfling he comes across. That's gotta hurt. In his eyes, Jake abandoned the pack, and__ him._

_I dunno, Sam doesn't seem that sore about it._ Embry tensed up immediately after speaking my ex's name. _I mean, a few days ago, he and Emily stopped by the Cullen's to nail down some specific's for the treaty, and he was actually pretty friendly towards them. Emily even played with Nessie._

_Of course Sam doesn't care. He's still Alpha in La Push. Jacob leaving was probably one of the best things that ever happened to him. And I __know__ he was glad to be rid of me_.

_Actually…_ Embry stopped himself. He looked unsure that he wanted to proceed with whatever it was that he was going to say. I waited for him to continue, but he didn't.

So I pried. _You gonna finish that statement sometime today_?

_Never mind. Forget it._

_Come on, what were you going to say_?

_Nothing. I forgot_. He was a really crappy liar. Worse than me.

_Embry, you promised._ He had said there would be no lies between us.

He sighed, _It's just that Sam wasn't as thrilled to be rid of you as you were to be rid of him_.

_What are you talking about_?

_Leah, when you left, when he couldn't hear you anymore, that was the most agonizing pain I had ever felt from him._

I was completely stunned. I figured that after I was so hateful to him, he would have grown to resent me.

Embry softly continued, _Course, he tried to hide it from us, but we could tell. He knew that as long as you were part of the pack, you would still be a part of his life. I mean, you two grew up together. It's hard to let someone go when you've spent practically your entire lives with other another._ He paused and a peculiar thought popped into his head. One I assumed that Sam had shared with him. _By the way, why did you push him off of the monkey bars when you were five?_

I laughed at the memory. _He broke my blue crayon._

_Ah, I'll be sure to stay away from your crayons in the future,_ he nodded, _Anyway, back to the point; Sam struggled with letting you go. The day you left the pack, you left him. And he knew there was no reason for you to be in his life anymore. That was difficult for him to deal with._

He let out a whine. He looked around like he was supposed to be somewhere else. This conversation was making him uncomfortable.

_No, it's not that_. Embry noticed my attention to his feeling of uneasiness, _Quil must've phased out. He's supposed to stay with Seth running the Cullen's land_.

_He probably just went to see Claire_. I didn't see what the big deal was.

_He said he'd be right back,_ Seth piped in.

Embry grumbled something about following order's and looked at me hopefully. _You wanna patrol with me and Seth_?

I heard my mother and Billy shouting from inside the house. Their fight had a good hour left. Then, they would make up, for Charlie's sake, and everyone would sit around the table, acting like everything was perfectly normal.

I shuddered, _I'm in_. I followed him out to the Cullen's property. I didn't ask him anymore about Sam. He had given me enough to think about. I laughed. I had broken my own rule about not talking about relationship stuff as a wolf. Eh, rules were meant to be broken.

When Embry slowed down, so did I.

_So, what exactly are we patrolling for, anyway_? I had been a little out of the loop lately. I laughed. Some second commander _I_ was.

_There's not much else to do,_ Embry shrugged his giant shoulders. _Plus, Jake asked us earlier if we wouldn't mind keeping an eye on things while he and Bella hunted with Nessie._

_Lovely. Watching a kid suck on an animal like it's a surrogate boob or something,_ I grimaced.

Embry laughed, _I never thought of it like that._

I felt Quil phase back. _Hey, everyone's here, we having a party_?

_Nope, we're covering for your sorry butt,_ Embry said. _Where'd you go_?

_I remembered that Claire left her little me at my place this morning. She can't sleep without it, and it's almost her naptime._

_Her "little you"_? I was afraid to ask.

Embry cracked up, _It was a gift from me. It's a little stuffed wolf. I gave it to her as a joke. _

Quil obviously didn't see the humor. _Yeah, laugh it up, chuckles. One of these days, I'm going to push you out in front of a moving car_.

_You gotta admit, it was pretty funny. Even Emily thought it was hilarious,_ Embry explained. _Claire threw it at his head and called him a butthead one day when Quil wouldn't read her a story._

And queue me laughing my ass off at _that_ memory.

I heard Bella and Jacob talking in the distance. I glanced through the trees and saw them. Nessie danced around like a nimble little…nimbly thing. She paid no attention to Bella and Jacob's conversation. They were arguing about whether or not Jake should go with Edward and Bella to Brazil to see about finding some supernatural help for Nessie.

I watched as he and Bella argued about him going. I don't know why she was arguing with him. She knew he wouldn't leave Nessie's side. She tried to use Seth, Embry, Quil, and I as an excuse. Something about _your pack needs you here_. He wasn't having any of that. He knew that we could handle it here.

The conversation steered back to Nessie. This hunting trip must be for her. I frowned. I didn't particularly like the fact that she was already craving so much blood at such a young age. It was actually hard to get her to eat anything. She was very picky. But she liked to hunt with Jake because he made it fun. The kid was competitive as all get out. She would make a hell of hockey player one day. I could see her knocking some big Canadian dude's teeth out of his head.

Jacob phased after Nessie disappeared through the trees without him. I watched as Bella stared after them. She had come to accept Jake's relationship with Nessie. She didn't like it, but she accepted it. Much like I didn't like his relationship with Bella, but there was nothing else for me to do but to accept it.

I saw through Jacob's eyes that Nessie had taken down her prey. Creepy. How could a three-month-old be strong enough to bowl over something forty times bigger than she was? She smirked at Jacob. Even though she didn't say anything out loud, the look on her face said it all, _I win_.

_Aw, Nessie, geeze, you beat me again,_ Jacob laughed a howl. Nessie looked very pleased with herself. Smug little toddler.

I sighed and took in a breath of air. A breeze brought a scent my way. My nose burned as I inhaled. I felt the hackles on my back standing up as I realized that we weren't alone out here. I could smell a vampire, one that I did not recognize. In the past few months, I had gotten used to the Cullen's scents. This was not someone I knew. I glanced to where the scent was coming from just as Bella saw the blonde hair shimmering from the cliff.

For the first time ever, I'm pretty sure we had the same exact thought:

_Oh. Shit._


	32. This is like a weird freaking dream

_You can wear your fur like a river on fire  
_

_But you better be sure if you're makin' God a liar  
_

_I'm a rattlesnake, Babe, I'm like fuel on fire  
_

_So if you're gonna' get made_

_Don't be afraid of what you've learned_

_"Furr"_

_-Blitzen Trapper_

* * *

**Chapter 32:**

**This is like a weird freaking dream**

The blonde growled at Bella and I couldn't help but laugh. _Finally,_ someone who hated Bella as much as me. Too bad it was a vampire that we were going to have to kill.

I had to hand it to Bella, she stayed pretty calm as the blonde vampire surveyed the forest around her. A growl escaped my teeth as she took off to God knows where. Jacob saw what I was seeing. I felt the panic building up in his thoughts. He took a protective stance over Nessie.

_Don't worry, she won't hurt the little half-breed,_ I assured him. Even though I still had a hard time accepting the fact that Jacob was living with a family of vampires now, I wouldn't want to see any harm come to them. That would hurt Jake. And I didn't want to see him hurt. Besides, the vampires provided for some fun entertainment in my otherwise boring life.

Bella sped over to where Jake and Nessie were. Nessie was still oblivious to what was going on around her. She was bragging about how her kill was bigger than the deer that Jake had taken down. Well, _of course_ she was always going to win when she was hunting with him.

Jacob flattened his ears when he heard the brush rustling. When Bella appeared through the trees, he relaxed his stance, but I could still feel concern oozing from every portion of his body.

_Quil, Embry._ Jacob glanced towards the vampire. _Don't let her get away._

_We got your back, man._ Quil was already racing towards where the angry blonde had been glaring at us moments ago.

Embry followed, _I get the first piece_.

I sighed, _Try not to get yourselves killed_.

_Are you kidding? This is going to be a blast. It's been a while since I've had a good fight._ Quil was pumped up.

_Don't hurt her,_ Jacob warned them.

Wait, what? He didn't want us to kill her? What did he expect us to do? Catch up with her and ask her to join us for tea?

_So, we're coddling __all__ vampires now_? I questioned.

_She might be a friend of the Cullens. I don't want to cause any trouble with them. They've been very accepting of my relationship with Nessie. _Like they had a choice.

God, he used that as an excuse for everything now. I shook my head and let it go.

_What do you want us to do, Jake_? Seth was ready for whatever our assignment would be.

_You and Leah meet us in the clearing._

Bella was cradling Nessie protectively. I was feeling protective of the little bugger, too. I think most of it was the feeling that I was picking up from Jacob.

She hit the speed dial on her cell phone and not long after that, Edward was on the way. Oh yay, more vampires.

_You want Seth and I to take point_?

_Bring up the rear. I don't want her to sneak up on us in case this isn't a social call_. Jacob told Seth and I to run their flanks.

Seth was by my side an instant later. We heard rustling behind us and spun around, ready for a fight. We relaxed when we saw Carlisle coming into the clearing. He nodded at us politely and waved for us to follow him. I had to laugh...we were following a vampire. Edward had rushed past us to his _precious_ family.

I watched as Bella explained to Edward about some chick named Irina. So apparently, they knew her. I wondered why the vampire had growled at Bella if she knew the Cullens. Hmm, maybe she just didn't like her. Edward looked pissed. Nothing new. Anytime someone showed an ounce of dislike for his wife, he got all defensive and crap.

"I'll go after her," Carlisle said softly. Apparently Irina was grieving about something.

I could see through Embry's eyes that the vampire's trail had gone cold. But he and Quil didn't let up.

_Let Carlisle and Edward take it from here guys,_ Jacob ordered the boys.

I could tell that Carlisle was debating in his head whether or not he wanted Edward to come with him after Irina. After a few minutes he decided that it would probably be helpful to drag his son along. Personally, I was glad that Edward was going with Carlisle. He was so pissed that maybe he would kill Irina. That would make my day. One less vampire in the world. Plus, if he went, then I wouldn't have to put up with his irritating personality…or lack thereof. He was such a douchebag.

Edward shot me a glance. He'd heard me.

_Yeah, and I meant every word,_ I thought back harshly.

He rolled his eyes and followed Carlisle. I smiled to myself, knowing that I wouldn't have to worry about Edward for at least a couple of hours. Bella stared after her husband like some idiot that had been hypnotized.

_Bells, get moving._ Jacob shoved her with his nose. She shook herself out of her trance and we started on our way back to their house.

We were back at the mansion within a matter of minutes. Rosalie rushed out and immediately started fussing over _poor_ Nessie. The kid didn't have a scratch on her. Rosalie was an idiot. Emmett and Jasper were right behind the bitchy blonde bimbo.

"Did Carlisle and Edward go after her?" Emmett questioned.

Well, they sure as hell weren't with us. _Duh, Emmett_.

Bella's answer was much nicer than mine.

"They're going to see if they can't catch up with her."

"I wonder what she's so bent out of shape about," Jasper said quietly.

Bella looked at Jacob and started to say something, but she took a moment to try and get the wording right.

"The wolves killed Laurent last year. She was very fond of him. Something tells me that she was reacting to seeing Jacob with Nessie."

Wrong words bitch. Now she was blaming us? Oh, how she annoyed the shit out of me. I let out a growl.

_Chill, Leah._ Jacob shook his head. _We have more pressing matters at hand than your immature feelings regarding Bella._

_Whatever,_ I grumbled.

_Well, that vampire is __long__ gone. I don't think Edward and Carlisle will be able to find her either._ Embry came through the trees. Quil was behind him.

I saw Rosalie curl her lip up. "Great, the whole pack is here."

_Well, hello to you, too...you stuck up bitch,_ Quil grunted.

"Rose, be nice," Bella pleaded.

I saw Rosalie shrug angrily, and then she turned her attention towards Nessie.

Six months ago, Rosalie wouldn't have tolerated Bella telling her what to do. For a moment, I kind of wanted _that_ Rosalie back. The one who would have bitch-slapped Bella into next week. But now that Bella had provided her with the family that she had always wanted, she was much more tolerant. It was so sad to see her live vicariously through Bella. I wondered if Rosalie would ever get _her_ happy ending. Then I remembered that I didn't like her, and didn't really care.

Jacob sniffed the air curiously. Someone was cooking.

Emmett noticed Jacob's attention.

"Esme and Alice are in the kitchen. We figured you guys might like to stick around for the game." He grinned. "Sue gave Esme this recipe for Baklava that she's been dying for someone to critique."

I listened as all the guys started hooting and hawing about some stupid sports event that was on TV. Jacob suggested that we phase back and pig out. Was he crazy? What about the loose vampire running around town?

_Edward and Carlisle are on it,_ Jake shrugged. _They'll figure it out._

Jake actually trusted the vampires now? When had that happened? Were we _really_ going to sit around, watch sports, and eat _pastries_ while Carlisle and Edward were out there having all the fun? What bizarro world was I living in?

_Well, I __AM__ hungry,_ Seth nodded.

_Yeah, and the game should be fun to watch, _Jacob smiled. _Maybe I can manipulate Alice into telling me who wins so I can take Emmett for every cent that he has._

_Who __are__ you Jacob? I mean, really?_ Three months ago, he wanted nothing more than to leave this place and never come back. Now, he was all buddy-buddy with the vampires just because the girl he imprinted on happened to be one of their family. I felt like I was stuck in a bad episode of _The Twilight Zone_.

_We need to stay around here, anyway,_ Jacob shrugged. _We may as well have some fun while we're here. If you don't want to come inside, you're welcome to run the perimeters, but I don't see any point in that. I'm sure Edward has a better shot at finding Irina than you do. He and Carlisle have been at it longer._

That pissed me off. I could just as easily track the vampire as the mindreader. But I kept my mouth shut.

He quickly phased back to be with Nessie. Seth wasn't far behind. It was eerie how closely Seth followed Jacob's lead. He was like a little miniature Jacob, but one that I didn't want to kill so much.

Nessie did something cute that everyone cooed over. I wasn't sticking around here to watch this stupid after school special. I raced into the woods.

_Leah, where do you think you're going_? Quil questioned.

_As far away from this freakshow as possible,_ I shuddered.

Maybe I could catch up with Carlisle and Edward. Spending time with them tracking Irina would be better than watching Jacob doting on his _majorly_ underage girlfriend.

No way. Screw that.

_Come on, come back. Jake's going to be pissed if you do something stupid,_ Quil grumbled. _Which is pretty much a guarantee since you're __you__…_

_Go suck on an Éclaire and watch Figure Skating._ I never did hear what sport it was they were going to be watching.

Quil was chasing after me, but Embry ran into his path,

_Let her go, dude. She likes to be alone when she feels like this_. He always knew what to say. It was nice to have Embry on my side. He understood me better than I understood myself.

_Just because she's your girlfriend doesn't give her the right to act like such a psychopath._

_Least my girlfriend can __spell__ psychopath. _Wow, he took a shot at Claire's age? Ouch. Embry could be a dick when he was defending me.

_You're going to regret saying that,_ Quil grumbled.

_Bring it on_. Embry wasn't one bit afraid of him.

I laughed, _Kick his ass for me, Embry._

They got into a little girly fight and then a few minutes later phased out, or killed each other. I wasn't sure which. Whatever the reason I was no longer hearing their thoughts, it was nice and quiet in my head.

I raced forward, following Carlisle's scent. Believe it or not, his scent was more tolerable than Edward's. His scent was _almost_ human. The faster I ran, the stronger the smell became. It didn't take me very long to catch up with them. They had taken a pause in their run to try and decipher which way Irina had gone.

"Leah?" Carlisle seemed startled to see me. I don't think Edward was as surprised. He had to have heard my thoughts when I got close enough.

Edward sneered a little when he responded, "She's come to help us." I heard a snicker escape his lips.

"Oh, well that's…" Carlisle paused in contemplation.

There was no way I was letting them send me back to the rest of their family. I couldn't stand seeing everyone so damn happy. I did have Embry, but there were still a lot of issues that I had to work through. Thankfully, Embry understood that I needed some time to get used to the idea of the two of us together. I had never once seen him falter. He was certain we were "meant to be." But I didn't know _how_ to be _that_ girl.

I sighed. Maybe that was my real problem. I didn't know how to accept happiness. God, I was being such a repressed crybaby.

"It's very kind of you to offer your assistance, Leah," Carlisle smiled. I laughed. Had he just used "kind" and my name in the same sentence? He continued, "But I'm not sure how Irina will react to you."

I didn't care if we had to chase her ass all the way to _Japan_, I wasn't going back to that house. Seeing the way that everyone looked at me was too much to bear right now. Sometimes, I felt like they were all staring at Embry and I, silently thinking to themselves that he was too good for me. And in truth, he really was.

It finally dawned on me why I was out here conversing with two vampires who were practically _begging_ me to leave them alone: I was running. It's what I always did when I had pent up emotions boil their way to the surface. Apparently, sometime in the last three months, I had become a complete coward. Was I so afraid of having a happy future that I was sabotaging myself?

"No use, Carlisle. She's staying." Edward could hear every bit of what I was thinking. God, that was annoying.

Carlisle let out a sigh, and then nodded in approval.

"It might be best if we split up. It's unclear as to which path she took." He looked around. "Why don't you two go east?"

Great, he was paring me up with Edward Cullen: Mindfreak.

"You don't have to come with me, Leah." Edward seemed as opposed to the idea as I was.

"I believe that it is imperative that she does," Carlisle disagreed. "If Leah stumbles across Irina alone, there might be some confusion, especially with a lack of communication. We wouldn't want this misunderstanding to end in a fight."

_Yeah, we do,_ I mumbled. I was surprised when I heard Edward growl out the same thing under his breath. Wow, he was _super-pissed_ that Irina had growled at Bella. I let out a tiny laugh.

I had to wonder if Carlisle was making us stay together for another reason. Maybe he figured that by putting us together, we were more likely to fight with each other than with Irina. Carlisle said something in thought to Edward.

He murmured his response out loud, "That's hardly any of my concern."

Carlisle had probably said something about not letting his disdain for me get in the way of keeping me safe if something did escalate with Irina. Edward heard my thoughts and looked at me in disbelief, as if to say _How the hell did you know that_?

Of course he was wondering how I had picked up on Carlisle's thoughts.

_Not all girls are as clueless as your wife,_ I rolled my eyes. It wasn't that hard to figure out what they were saying to one another. It's all about reading subtle hints.

Edward let out a snort. He was probably just jealous that he wasn't the only mindreader in the world.

"Be careful." Carlisle sounded like he meant what he was saying. He glanced at Edward, then looked at me, and back to his son again. "I mean it, Edward." With that, Carlisle raced towards the west.

_Ha, ha, your daddy likes me,_ I joked.

"Don't let it go to your head. Carlisle likes _everyone_."

Edward and I started running to the east. It stayed quiet at first, but then Edward had to go and ruin the silence.

"Why did you _really_ come out here, Leah?" He sounded annoyed, but not angry.

I didn't have to justify him with a response. He didn't know me, and I certainly didn't want to get to know _him_.

"I am trying my best to be patient with you. This mindreading thing helps me understand people better. I know you've been through a lot, and I can sympathize. When the others aren't around, I can hear how much pain you're still in."

I growled. I didn't want to be talking about my problems, especially not with _him_. It was already irritating enough that he knew _every_ last thing about me since he had been in my thoughts so much in the last three months. I did spend a good amount of time at the mansion as a wolf. And Edward was right; when everyone phased out, I didn't have to fight so hard to keep them from knowing what I was truly feeling. But sometimes, _he_ could still hear me.

While the pack was busy playing air-hockey, or whatever it is that they did at the Cullen's place, I was usually outside by the river, reflecting over things. Mostly about my past with Sam. My relationship with Embry was a lot different than the one I'd had with Sam. And while I was happy letting Embry into my life, I was having a hell of a hard time getting Sam _out_ of my life, my mind in particular. Ever since Embry told me that Sam hadn't wanted to let me go, all I could think about was what he was going through. He loved Emily, I knew that. But, did he still love me, too?

Edward was about to continue his statement, but I interrupted him, _Don't even go there, bloodsucker._

To my surprise, Edward didn't ignore the fact that I didn't want to talk to him about this. He thought for a moment and then changed the subject. "You know, Bella wants to be friends with you."

I almost choked on my tongue. At first I thought he was joking, but then I remembered he wasn't funny.

"She bothers me all the time, asking me what she did to upset you so much."

Was he kidding me? I could rack off an entire list of things that Bella had done, not particularly to me, but irksome things nonetheless. Becoming a vampire _by choice_ was at the top of that list.

_If she wants to be my friend, then maybe she could try being less annoying,_ I shrugged.

"Could you at least attempt to make an effort to treat her nicer?" he questioned.

_Sorry, this is as nice as it gets._ I shook my head. Jake had had this conversation with me once before. I told him to go chase a parked car. If _he_ couldn't convince me to be kinder to Bella, then Edward didn't have a popsicles chance in hell.

Instead of bitching at me like I thought he would, he accepted my hostility.

"I know you don't like us, Leah, but you have gone to great lengths to insure the safety of my family. Thank you for that."

Had I hit my head and become unconscious at some point? Could all this just be a concoction in some zany coma world that my dead brain was living in? Was he really _thanking_ me? What the hell was this about?

_Uh…yeah…okay,_ I nodded.

After a few more minutes of uncomfortable silence, we wound up back where we had started. Carlisle was waiting for us. The look on his face conveyed that he hadn't found her either.

"The only other option is to swim to the other side of the bank to see if her trail picks up in a straight line." Carlisle looked across the cool body of water.

_You two are on your own there._ I didn't feel like doggy paddling my way across the water. Not that it was too cold or anything. I just didn't want to do it.

"It shouldn't take long." Edward glanced across the bay.

_Go ahead, hotshot. I'll time you,_ I said sarcastically.

I watched as Carlisle and Edward zipped across the water like it wasn't even there. They couldn't have been gone for more than ten minutes.

"I just don't understand," Carlisle frowned. "I've never had a trail just _disappear_ like hers."

_Whatever. She's gone, so you can go back to living your perfect lives._ It was obvious that we weren't going to find Irina. She had gone to great lengths to make sure that she wouldn't be followed. I had to hand it to the vampire, she was actually pretty crafty.

Before Edward could respond, I heard a little jingling noise. The phone was up to his ear in half a second. He spoke so quickly that I couldn't understand what he was saying. When he hung up the phone, he looked at Carlisle and me.

"We're going home now." And that was all he said before racing forward into the trees. Carlisle quickly followed.

I took a moment to pause and consider the possibility that this was all some whacked out nightmare. Then, I let out a sigh and followed them.


	33. God damn kids

_I wonder why it always has to hurt_

_For every lesson that I have to learn_

_I won't forget what you did to me_

_How you showed me things I wished I'd never seen_

_But I was stupid and you broke me down_

_I'll never be the same again_

_"Thank You"_

_-Simple Plan_

* * *

**Chapter 33:**

**God damn kids**

Turns out the phone call was from Alice. She told us we might as well pack up and come back because she didn't see us catching Irina anytime in the near future. Gee, maybe she could have mentioned that _before_ we went running all over hell and half of Washington searching for the blonde.

After we came back without any news of where the vampire had disappeared to, Jacob immediately went back to fearing for Nessie's safety. God, he was getting as bad as Edward was about that over-protective thing.

I opted for running the perimeters. Sometimes I was by myself, and sometimes I ran with one or two members of my pack. I preferred to run with Embry. He was just a lot more easy-going than Quil, and he wasn't as annoying as my kid brother. Plus, I enjoyed talking to him.

Jacob was so nervous about what the vampire _might_ have planned that he went as far as calling Sam in for backup. Yeah, I was _thrilled_ about that. I uttered a string of profanities about two miles long when I had heard about that. As if my conflicting feelings regarding my ex weren't _enough_ to deal with. Now I had to run with him again. Fortunately, Sam and his pack kept their distance from us. They ran the borders very closely.

It had been three days since we had seen Irina on the cliff. Jake had us running patrols nonstop. He was paranoid that something was going to happen to Nessie. Seth and Embry were running parallel to Brady, Collin and Paul. They were apparently training a new wolf. He was lagging behind them, though I could tell he wanted to be ahead of them. He looked like he was a cocky little thing. I bet Sam was having a complete _blast_ with him. That new male wolf testosterone could be a bitch. The new kid; I think his name was Cody, stayed a few steps behind Paul. Paul didn't seem to be paying much attention to the newbie. He was probably to busy _gushing_ about Rachel that he didn't even realize that Cody was steering off-course.

I just shrugged and tried to keep our pack in-line. Quil was spending time with Claire, while Jacob kept a watchful eye over Nessie. So it was just three of us. Embry and Seth weren't very hard to manage. In fact, this whole "second-in-command" thing was pretty easy. Most of the time, the pack ran itself. Very rarely did Jake or I have to step in to give any instructions. We read each other very well.

_Dude, Emmett could __totally__ kick Jasper's ass._ Seth and Embry were arguing about which one of the Cullens would win in a fight.

Embry disagreed, _Jasper's got that quiet rage thing going on. Plus, he was in some war or something before he was turned into a vampire. He's got the fighting skills in the family._

_Leah, what do you think_? Seth dragged me into their stupid male ritual thing.

_I think you're both wrong_, I shrugged. I could feel their confusion. I let out a smile, _Rosalie would tear both those little boys up._ She was the one vampire that, if pushed to her limits, would be a bitch to fight against. So, naturally, I had always wanted to see how I would fare against her. I was constantly antagonizing the hell out of her. But so far, she hadn't tried to attack me. She had more self-control than I realized.

Seth sighed, _When did Quil say he was going to be back to take over for me? I haven't had a break in over twelve hours. And it's lunchtime. I'm hungry._

_So take a break and get something to eat,_ I suggested.

_Yeah man, don't you remember? Your sister is second in command, _Embry said, all proud and loving like.

_Yeah, like I don't hear about __that__ every day of my life,_ Seth muttered sarcastically.

_Maybe I'll stop talking about it if you stop hogging the damn bathroom in the morning. Come on, man. I'm a __girl__, and I don't spend as much time in the bathroom as you do, _I laughed. _I mean, it's nice that you appreciate your appearance and all, but you don't have to do your hair and make-up __every__ day._ I teased him.

Seth grumbled back, _Whatever, Leah._

_Spoken like a true teenage girl,_ I laughed.

Seth ignored me and shifted to another subject. _Who'd win in a fight? Rosalie or Bella?_

_Oh God, hands down, Rosalie. That bitch is __crazy,_ Embry laughed.

_Yeah, but Bella's still a pretty young newborn._ Seth pointed out.

This fun little game was completely stupid and pointless. I broke away from my brother and Embry to run a little on my own. Once I got some miles between us, I slowed to a trot. This really was boring as hell. And stupid, too. Jake was just overreacting, like he always did. I kept a nice slow pace for a while, listening to Embry and Seth argue about which one of the Cullens had the palest ass, or something like that.

I saw some trees across the clearing sway uneasily. Just as I was cursing Jake for having us out here for no good reason, I picked up on a scent. I didn't make a move when the small black-haired, stone face appeared through the trees. What was interesting is the fact that he didn't look like he was hunting, but he looked like he had a mission.

_Seth, get Jacob. Now. Tell him to tell Edward we've got a visitor._ I leaned forward, careful to not make any sudden movements.

_Careful, Leah,_ Seth warned me. He raced towards the mansion. So far, I had succeeded in keeping this thirsty red-eyed vampire from spotting me. I knew he had to hear my heart beating since I was standing so close. Maybe he just thought the heartbeat belonged to a regular animal. Edward had said once that our blood doesn't smell human to their kind. That we _stunk_ to them. I scoffed; yeah, like _they_ smelled like a bed of roses to us.

I took in the vampire's appearance. He looked a lot like Alice. He was tiny and had the same dark, spiky hair that she had. But the one thing that they _didn't_ share was the bloodlust in his eyes. I had_ never_ seen Alice with the savage look that this leech was wearing.

He seemed distracted. I crouched down quietly, waiting to spring into action if he spotted me. But it wasn't me that I should have been concerned about. I raised my head and saw that Cody, Sam's new wolf, was wandering over to the vampire alone.

Embry saw through my eyes that the new kid was racing at the monster, full force.

_Holy shit, he's gonna get himself killed. Sam's gonna be pissed,_ Embry frowned.

_Where is Sam's pack? Shouldn't they have more control over this_? I grumbled.

I hoped that if something happened to this kid, that Sam would rip Paul a new asshole for not keeping an eye on him like he was supposed to. Young werewolves are stupid. I know. I'd been there. It hadn't been that long ago that I tried to take on a newborn vampire myself and got in over my head. Jacob had bailed me out, and gotten pretty badly hurt in the process. Something told me that this was going to end that way for me, too. Oh well, payback's a bitch.

The vampire crouched down and sprang forward. Cody was about to get it. I watched as all the hackles stood up on his bluish coat. He let out a growl and then a snap.

I knew that I couldn't stay hidden any longer. I lunged forward, barking loudly at the inexperienced moron that was about to get his head ripped off. The vampire growled at him. I could see that this leech was going to be a challenge to take down. Even though he was tiny, he seemed to have excellent fighting skills.

_What the hell are you doing? Get out of there you dimwit_! I growled at him.

I knew that he understood what I was conveying through my angry barks. But, he ignored my warning. Besides, it was too late for words. Both parties involved apparently wanted to rip each other's throats out.

_I'm on my way, Leah._ Embry was racing towards where we were. I saw through his eyes that Sam and Jared were with him. Seth had just reached the Cullen's house. He was crying wildly for Jacob to come outside.

The gray-blue wolf bared his teeth and hit the vampire head on. The vampire was easily able to spin around him and grabbed his back leg. Cody squealed out a whimper as he felt the pressure from the vampire's strength.

_God damn kids._ I rolled my eyes.

He was able to maneuver around and sink his teeth into the leech's arm until he let go of his leg. But instead of running away like he should have, the imbecile lunged at the vampire again. That dumb little shit. He was going to get killed. I couldn't just stand by and do nothing. I felt Embry and Seth tense up at my thoughts.

_Wait on us. Don't take him on alone_, Embry begged.

_Jake's coming out now,_ Seth agreed. _Edward heard my thoughts. He and Emmett are on their way._ I watched through Seth's eyes as Jake phased.

_Don't do anything stupid._ Jake shook his head.

_Well, you know me…_ was all I could say back.

_Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of,_ Jacob mumbled.

He was now rushing with my brother to help me. I had at least six people on their way to help, but none of that was going to do any good if I didn't do something _now_. If I waited on them, the kid would be dead before they showed up. I had to act. The vampire had the now terrified Cody in his grasp again. I sighed as I raced forward.

_Hey shithead, why don't you pick on someone your own size? I'm sure there's a circus in town. I'll see if I can find a __midget__ willing to fight you._ Wait, why was I talking to him? He couldn't understand what I was saying. I shrugged. I still got some satisfaction in making fun of him. _You're short, dude._

I lunged on top of him. He toppled over and lost his hold on Cody, who went skidding across the grass and into a tree. I glanced over and saw that the impact had shattered the tree. Cody was laying unconscious at the base of what was left.

_Oh sure, pick a fight and then take a nap_, I snapped.

The vampire quickly got to his feet. I took a defensive position. I had to figure out my next move.

_Just hang on, _Embry begged. I could feel his concern for my safety more than both Jake and Seth. They were concerned too, but not nearly as worried as Embry. _We're almost there._ Part of me wanted to listen to him, but the other part of me wanted to knock this stupid bloodsucker's head off of his body and play soccer with it.

_Okay, back off, Leah,_ Jake warned me. _Wait on back up._

"Back off?" Sure, that was easy for him to say. Now that the vampire knew I was around, he sure as hell wasn't going to let me get away. Plus, I couldn't leave the snoring wolf a few hundred yards away from me. The vampire would probably eat him as a snack.

The vampire threw his arms out at me angrily. I dodged his strike and grabbed his left arm in my mouth. I sunk my teeth into his marble skin and pulled with all of my might. The arm went flailing across the woods and smacked into Cody's head. God, that kid was going to have brain damage when this was all over.

I snapped at the vampire again, trying to rip off his right arm, but he did some weird-ass maneuver around me and was able to grab me by the back of my neck. As he held me up by my scruff, I snapped my jaw in the air trying to grab whatever piece of this asshole that I could.

He threw me into the ground and kicked my right side. _Shit! Shit! Shit!_ Great, three broken ribs. I instinctively threw my foot up to try and scratch him, but he blocked my jab and slammed his leg into my paw.

I let out a howl as I felt the snap. No doubt that leg was broken. _Jesus…ow, ow, ow, mother fucking asshole!_ I screamed out in pain.

Everyone in my pack cowered at my pain. I felt Embry speed up.

_Leah, don't die!_ I heard my brother beg.

_I'm gonna kill him,_ Jacob snarled. This vampire has just broken the wrong wolf's leg. Even if I didn't survive, my boys were going to rip him to shreds.

I tried to ignore the ache in my leg as I snapped at the vampire's leg. I was able to tear his left foot from his leg. He didn't even seem to notice as he picked me up and slammed me up against a tree.

I saw the rage in his eyes. All I could think about was my shattered bones.

_I seriously hope you destroy this shithead __slowly__._ I advised my pack on what to do if I wasn't able to get out of this predicament before they arrived.

_Don't give up on the fight __now__, Leah. Just a few more minutes._ Embry wasn't that far from us.

_Jake, what if we don't…_ Seth whimpered. He was worried that they wouldn't reach me in time.

Jacob cut him off, _She'll be okay, kid._ His voice seemed so far away. The pain was really excruciating. I tried the best I could not to pussy out and lose consciousness.

The vampire had me pinned against a tree. I tried to wiggle free, but he roughly slammed my broken arm against the wood,

_Son of bitch_! I snarled. That really fucking hurt.

I could see the hatred in his glowing red eyes. I snapped at him and was able to pull off one of his fingers on the hand that he _hadn't_ lost. That pissed him off, so he threw me against the tree roughly again.

Well, I was going to die anyway, so I spit some of my slobber at him. _Go to hell, asshole._

He growled angrily at me. So, this was it. I couldn't believe I was really going to go out like this. He opened his mouth, showing me his nasty venom filled teeth. He was going for my neck. All it would take was one puncture wound filled with his nasty-ass juices, and I would be dead.

Strangely, I wasn't as afraid as I thought I would have been. I'm sure the adrenaline pumping through my body was keeping me from feeling too much fear.

_Rot in hell, you fucking dickhead,_ I growled as I closed my eyes. _I hope you choke on my blood._

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and flung my feet forward. Even if I _was_ going to die, there was no way that I was going down without fighting. I felt my broken arm grinding, just bone against bone. It was disgusting. All four of my legs were kicking beneath the vampire's hold. I felt like I was some five-year-old throwing a hissy fit, flinging all four of my feet around like a ragdoll.

I considered opening my eyes, but I decided that I didn't want to _see_ what was coming. I figured I'd stand a better chance of not freezing in fear if I couldn't see what the vampire was getting ready to do to me. As I fought blindly against the vampire's attempts to get his filthy venom into my system, a strange feeling came over me.

I realized that even though I was in the dark, I was not alone. Pictures of my loved ones flashed across my mind. So that whole "life flashing before your eyes" thing _wasn't_ complete bullshit. I watched all the important events from my life play before me like a weird, choppy picture show in less than two minutes. I wasn't surprised that I thought of my mother, my dad, and Seth. I saw Embry, and even Jake. But the last image that flashed across my mind was the one that shocked me. I saw Sam's face. The image of him took my breath away, because I had never been able to see Sam and _not_ be in pain.

So, I tried not to think of him, because as much pain as my broken bones were causing me, they were nothing compared to the heartbreak that I had gone through because of him. Instead, I thought of Embry. But that killed me, too, because my death would tear him apart. I could feel how much he cared about me. I knew that there was no pain worse than a wolf losing his mate.

Well, shit. No matter who I thought about, it was going to hurt. So, I let all my thoughts go. It was time to face the pain…because I was going to die anyway.


	34. Oh, yeah, laugh at my pain

_Too much is not enough_

_Nobody gave it up_

_I'm not the kind_

_To lay down and die_

_Adrenaline, keeps me in the game_

_Adrenaline, you don't even feel the pain_

_Wilder than your wildest dreams_

_When you're going to extremes_

_It takes adrenaline_

_"Adrenaline"_

_-Gavin Rossdale_

* * *

**Chapter 34:**

**Oh yeah, laugh at my pain...**

I felt the vampire's pressure on me suddenly drop. I landed on the ground with a "thud." I winced in pain from my broken bones. I opened my eyes just in time to see a flying ball of fur knocking the vampire away from me.

_Get OFF of her_! Embry growled loudly. He was able to pry the vampire's other arm off. It was only a few seconds later that Sam and Jared pulled off his legs.

I saw the arm that had hit Cody crawling towards the vampire's flailing torso. A foot crushed down on it, and I saw Emmett. He and Edward were examining Cody, probably making sure that he was still breathing.

_You might wanna take a step back, bloodsucker. That kid is an idiot. If he comes too and smells you, he might attack._ I couldn't believe that I was giving Edward advice that would keep him from getting hurt. Since when did I care about _him_? All this pain must be making me delusional.

Seth and Jacob were next to me now. I was still laying on the ground, trying to catch my breath.

Seth whimpered and nudged me with his nose.

_Ow, that hurts. Cut it out,_ I complained.

Seth breathed a sigh of relief. _Sorry. I was afraid that you weren't alive._

_Seth, you can still __hear__ my thoughts. That's a pretty good indicator that I'm still breathing._ I slowly got to my feet. I was a little wobbly.

_How bad is it_? Jacob questioned.

_I'll heal._ I tried to shrug. Stupid move on my part.

Jacob shook his head. I could hear all the emotions going through his mind. He was relieved that I was okay, but he was upset that I'd been hurt. He surprised me when he scolded me. _You should have waited._

I laughed sarcastically. He was _mad_ at me for saving Cody's ass? What the hell? What was I supposed to do? Watch the leech rip him to shreds?

I rolled my eyes. _You're right. I should have just told the vampire to hang tight while I sat around and waited for backup. "Scuse me, can you not kill me for a few minutes? I've got a pack of wolves coming to help me rip you to shreds. Thaaanks." __That__ would have gone over well._

I looked over and saw that everyone had a piece of the leech. Embry was shaking the thing's torso angrily. He looked like a dog ripping apart a stuffed toy, trying to find the tiny squeaker inside all of the stuffing.

_I think you can ease up, Embry. I'm pretty sure he's dead,_ Seth suggested.

I could barely understand him through the snarls he was snapping at the lifeless body.

_Stupid bastard…teach you to mess with…kill you…die, die, die, rot in __hell__!_

_Embry, dude!_ Jacob called to him.

He was still going to town. If the vampire had any blood flowing through his body, it probably would have been all over the forest like some horror movie.

_God damn mother fucking leech._

_You plan on kissing me with that mouth_? I asked. That gained his attention. Embry lifted his head when he heard me laughing. _Geeze, remind me never to piss you off_.

Without saying anything, he tossed the torso in the pile with the rest of the vampire's parts. Emmett struck a match between his fingers and tossed it on to the stack of body parts. I think he mumbled something like, "Burn sucker, burn. Check out those flames," or something along those lines.

Embry trotted over to me. He looked down at his feet, as if he were ashamed.

_I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner_.

Was he kidding? He'd saved my butt! He had nothing to apologize for.

_Hey, don't worry about it. Thanks for having my back._

He saw that I wasn't putting any weight on my front leg. _How is it?_

_Fine. Healing already._ They were going to see right through that lie. But I really didn't want to have to see someone about my broken bones.

_Healing already, huh_? Jacob questioned. He nodded his massive head and leaned in towards me. I didn't move because I wasn't sure what he was doing. He took the tip of his nose, and very gently put pressure on my broken ribs.

It hurt like hell, but I forced out a pained smile, _Yep, see? Better already._ My voice was about an octave higher than it normally was because I was straining so hard not to scream.

_You're a really shitty liar, Leah._ Embry shook his head.

Edward, Emmett, Sam, and Jared were over by us now. Ha, as if I didn't feel crowded enough. It was weird having seven pairs of eyes all staring at you.

"It might be beneficial for you to have Carlisle look at that, Leah. It's pretty badly broken," Edward suggested.

_Carlisle's the best,_ Seth exclaimed with enthusiasm.

_How much is he paying you for __that__ endorsement_? I asked sarcastically.

I saw Cody stirring in his unconsciousness. He was waking up. Jared said something to Sam and then trotted over to the recovering reckless idiot. Something told me the kid was in _deep shit_. I watched as Jared led Cody into the woods.

I looked at Jacob to ask Sam a question, _He gonna be okay_?

Jacob silently questioned Sam. I saw Sam nod his head and respond.

_He'll be fine. Probably has a concussion,_ Jacob explained.

_No shit_. I rolled my eyes. _Tell Sam to keep a tighter leash on his new puppies._

_He's in for a hell of a talk, _Jacob said surely. He and Sam had another short exchange. _Sam wants you to go and see Carlisle, though_._ You're hurt pretty bad._

_Nonsense._ I shook my head. _I can still run on three legs._

_Fine, don't have Carlisle look at it. But when it heals wrong, and you're left with a flimsy limb that's useless and disfigured, don't come crying to me,_ Jacob shrugged.

_You could have internal injuries._ Embry disapproved of me not wanting to get medically cleared.

_I morph into a giant wolf. If __that__ doesn't mess up my insides, I highly doubt a little kick in the ribs will,_ I frowned.

Emmett looked at me, and then to Edward for an explanation, "What's going on?"

"She doesn't want Carlisle to treat her," Edward explained.

"Awww, is the big bad wolf afraid of going to the doctor?" Emmett harassed me.

_Watch it. I can still fight with three legs you know._ I snapped a warning at him.

Even though Emmett couldn't understand what I was saying, he understood that I was giving him a warning of some kind. He didn't care.

"Now if you behave like that, we might have to put a muzzle on you." He laughed. "Come on, it won't be that bad. If you have to get a shot, I'll just distract you with something shiny."

_He's two seconds away from me biting him in the ass_. I looked to Edward to translate.

"Um, Em, I don't think she's in the mood."

_Let Carlisle look at you,_ Seth whined.

_Why should I_? I questioned.

_You're hurt. He's a doctor. I'd say that's reason enough in itself,_ Seth frowned. _Besides, if you don't, I'll bug the hell out of you for the rest of your life._

_So? You bug me __now__._ I still wasn't convinced.

_I'll tell mom,_ he threatened.

Crap. Mom really didn't need to know that I had almost died today. And I could see from Seth's thoughts that he was serious about talking to her. God, my brother annoyed me sometimes.

_Freaking pain my ass,_ I mumbled.

_I didn't know you hurt that, too,_ Seth quipped.

_Fine,_ I growled. _I'll go see the damn doctor. Are you happy?_

_Thrilled._ Seth had no excitement whatsoever in his voice. I could tell he was still on edge about what had just happened. I really couldn't see why. I was going to live, and no one was dead. Well, except the parasite.

I looked over and saw that Sam and Jacob were having a silent conversation. Sam asked Jacob something, and Jake responded by shaking his head from side to side. After a moment, he and Sam started to walk away from everyone else.

_Where are you going_? I questioned.

_Alpha stuff._ Apparently Jacob needed to talk to Sam. _We need to redefine some perimeters. You guys go ahead. Tell Nessie I'll be back as soon as I can._ He disappeared into the trees.

Great, not only was I injured and going to have to face Carlisle's freezing hands examining me, now Jake was using me as his own personal message service.

"I'll tell Carlisle what's going on." Edward raced ahead.

Emmett faced me with a stupid grin, "Don't be scared. Maybe you'll get a lollipop if you're a good girl."

_This good girl is about to rip your good __boy__ parts off,_ I snapped back. I knew he couldn't understand me, so I would have to remember that for when I was human again.

It felt like it took an eternity to get back to the mansion. Every step was like torture for me. I wasn't looking forward to phasing back. The bones twisting around in my shattered body was going to hurt. And if they were already set, then Carlisle would have to re-brake them. That was going to suck major ass.

Just as we reached the house, I felt Quil phase back. It didn't take him long to see what he had missed.

_Holy shit._ I felt his shock. _Aw man, that sucks. I'm sorry, Leah. I should have been there. Maybe if I had come back when I __said__ I was going to be back…_ His thoughts trailed off.

Wow, when had Quil become _responsible_? It was weird to hear him act like he actually _cared_.

_I can be so damn dense sometimes._

I interrupted him, _Well, you __are__ an idiot. But it's not your fault,_ I assured him. _And I'm fine. Everyone's making a fuss over nothing._

_Didn't look like nothing to me,_ Quil disagreed.

I looked up and saw that Carlisle and Esme were waiting on me. I grunted. This was going to _huuuuurt_.

_Seth, you and Quil continue to run the perimeters until I get back, or until Jake tells you to do otherwise. _I didn't know how long his talk with Sam was going to go. Probably not very long considering he couldn't stand to be away from Nessie.

_Sure you don't want me to stay with you?_ Seth questioned.

_I think I can handle it,_ I nodded. I didn't need my little brother holding my hand and telling me that everything was going to be okay. In fact, if he did that, I might end up throwing him through a wall.

Seth ran off, but Embry planted his butt firmly on the ground next to me. I sighed. There was no way he was going to leave my side. Well, I guess it wouldn't be so bad. Maybe I could teach him a few new swear words. I got pretty creative when I was in pain.

I went behind some trees to phase. I locked my jaw tightly as I got ready to twist my broken bones back to their natural shape. _Damn it, son of…_

"…a frickin bitch!" My thoughts became verbal mid-phase. I pulled my arm to my chest and held it there as I put my clothes on. Embry came through the trees a few minutes later, dressed and ready to go.

"You cuss more than anyone I've ever met," Embry laughed softly.

"That's what happens when a girl spends all her free time with all you filthy mouthed little teenagers." I laughed too. I chuckled a little too hard and one of my loose ribs twinged in pain. "Ow, shit." It even hurt to _laugh_. As I walked into the house, Embry followed me in.

I faced Carlisle. "Let's get this over with, Doc."

He nodded, "The first thing we're going to need to do is X-Ray you to see where the breaks actually are. Then I can set the bones correctly."

"If you want to have a seat in the living room, Charlie is watching the game with the others," Esme offered. "We'll get everything set up. It won't take very long."

Charlie was here? I glanced outside and saw that I had completely missed the fact that his car was sitting in the driveway. Great. So much for keeping this from my mother. I thought about trying to hide the fact that I was hurt from him. It probably wouldn't work. If anything, he would be worried about my sanity, because I _never_ spent time here with the Cullens when I was human. I grumbled. It was best to just go in truthfully.

Embry looked warily at Esme, but after a moment, I saw him soften his stance a little.

"I smell chicken wings."

Esme laughed, "Charlie's favorite."

"Mine, too." He dashed into the living room to gobble up some food. With that insatiable werewolf appetite, he would probably eat just about _anything_.

I didn't say anything as I followed Esme into the living room. Charlie was sitting next to Emmett. Bella was sitting on the floor, playing with Nessie. Edward hovered above them and watched. I didn't see Rosalie or Alice anywhere. Jasper was huddled in the corner, watching the room with intense eyes.

"Hey, it's Wolfie." Emmett saw me. "Bout time you got here, gimpy."

"See how fast _you_ can run with broken bones." I rolled my eyes.

Charlie's eyes got wide with concern. It was actually kind of sweet.

"You were hurt? What happened?"

"I think I'm going to have to refrain from telling you that. You _did_ say you wanted to know as little as possible," I explained.

Charlie nodded his head. I could tell he wanted to say something back, but he held it in. I saw him tense up in worry, but he just stayed quiet.

"Don't worry, dad. Carlisle will take care of her." Bella looked up from the floor and forced a smile out at me. It was really weird to see her smiling at me. It was actually a little spooky.

Charlie excused himself to go to the bathroom. When he disappeared around the corner, I stuck my tongue out at Emmett childishly.

"That's for the lollipop remark you overgrown flea," I frowned.

"Did…you just call me a flea?" Emmett had a perplexed look on his face.

I just shrugged. I guess I was running out of clever names to call the leeches.

"Come on, you can do better than that, _Lassie_." He laughed.

"Why don't you go fall into a well and wait for me to rescue you?" I asked sarcastically.

We stopped our quipping when we heard Charlie coming back into the living room. He plopped back down on the couch and mumbled something about Carlisle just opening up a hospital here in the mansion. I laughed, because, though Charlie didn't know it, this place _had_ once been a hospital for his ailing pregnant daughter. I could hear Carlisle and Esme flittering around upstairs. I heard the whirring of machinery.

My feet were so tired, and my head was throbbing. I wasn't having the easiest time breathing either. I pushed myself to sit down next to Charlie. Emmett moved away from me. I kind of appreciated the space. We waited for a few minutes in silence. I saw Jasper ease a little closer to us and felt my pain lessen just a little. He must be working that power thing he had. _Thanks._ I looked at Edward to tell his brother that I appreciated the short-term pain medication. Edward nodded at Jasper. The vampires communicated exceptionally well without speaking considering that Edward was the only mind-reader of the bunch.

Nessie looked at me from the floor curiously. She wasn't used to seeing me here. She knew who I was, but she didn't know much about me. She curiously toddled over to me. Well, I guess they weren't hiding Nessie's age advancements from Charlie anymore. I sat completely still. The last thing I wanted to do right now was lose control of my emotions and do something stupid in front of Charlie.

Nessie crawled on to the couch between Charlie and I. I saw Edward and Bella both inch forward nervously. I just rolled my eyes. I wasn't going to hurt their kid. They had to know I wouldn't take my aggression out on Jacob's future love.

She gently put her hands on my cheek. I flinched. I was startled when I felt how warm the palms of her hands were against my cheek. I had half-expected them to be cold and hard like any other vampire. I wasn't as tense as I thought I'd be. Jasper again. Normally, I would be pissed that someone else was controlling my emotions, but in this case, I was glad because Jasper was keeping some of my pain at bay. Man, I could get used to this.

I watched in curiosity as I saw Nessie's gift at work first-hand. The pictures flooded my mind. Apparently, Nessie wanted to gossip about her day, with _me_ of all people. At first, I flinched away. When she showed me a memory of Seth and Jacob wrestling over the remote, I started to pay attention. Seth lost his grip on the remote when Jacob tugged too hard. Then the remote went flailing back and hit Jake in the mouth. It busted his lip. I laughed my ass off.

Nessie continued to tickle my funny bone when she showed me how her day had started out. Rosalie was trying to get her to eat something that looked like Oatmeal. Nessie refused, but Rosalie insisted that she eat it. She even brought Jacob in to try and convince her to take a bite. I watched as the two of them awkwardly tried to play nice and explain to her that breakfast was the most important meal of the day. Nessie asked if that was true, then how come she was the only one eating it? Jacob and Rosalie couldn't answer that. A werewolf and a vampire were outsmarted by a three-month-old. Classic!

She finally got irritated and threw her bowl of oatmeal at them. The bowl hit Jake in the chest and splattered all over him and the annoying blonde. The look on both of their faces was priceless.

Jacob turned to Rosalie after a moment and snickered, "Hey Blondie, she got food in your hair..."

I was laughing so hard now that I was in hysterics. I probably sounded like a dying donkey or something. The laughter was not doing anything to help my pain, but I didn't care. I was just glad that Embry and Emmett were keeping Charlie occupied by talking about the game.

I glanced at Edward and Bella. Both of them had their mouths open in shock that I was _laughing_ while Nessie was sitting in my lap. I don't know why Edward was so surprised. I'm sure he could tell what Nessie was showing me by reading my mind. With Jasper working his mojo, and Nessie showing me hilarious memories, I forgot that I was even here for medical treatment. But I was reminded a few seconds later when Carlisle came in and told me to follow him.

I saw Embry stand up. "I'm right behind you."

"No, I'll be right back. It's cool," I shrugged. _It's. Cool_. Was I really standing in the middle of the vampire's house saying _It's cool_? Damn, Jasper was like a giant bottle of Xanax.

I saw Edward laugh at my thought. Bella stared at him for an explanation. He just shrugged and mouthed "I'll explain later" to her.

I followed Carlisle to his make-shift X-Ray room. It was weird walking down the hallway alone with him. I felt like I should be saying "dead dog walking" or something.

He pulled a syringe out and drew up something from a bottle. I just watched him curiously. That _better_ be some kind of pain medication. He confirmed that it was a few seconds later. I think he said it was morphine. Damn, he was bringing in the big guns. If he was giving me this, he must think the break was _really_ bad. I didn't even feel him stick me with the needle.

"Now, as soon as we take these pictures, I'll be able to tell where the breaks are. Then we'll go from there," he explained. He motioned me over to the X-Ray table. I slowly climbed on the table and waited for more instructions. "First we'll do your chest." He had me lay down. I saw him maneuver a peddle with his foot and heard a clicking sound. The machine beeped.

I had only been X-Rayed one other time in my life. It was five years ago when I broke my ankle Ice-Skating with Sam. I had warned him that I was going to fall on my ass. I sighed. That was before our werewolf days. I remember after I tripped over my skates, Sam drove me to the hospital. He even tried to get the doctor to let him stay with me when they were doing my X-Rays. The Physician wouldn't allow it. I always found it incredibly contradicting that the doctor had assured me that getting X-Rays' was no big deal, and then he stepped behind this giant wall with incredibly thick windows while leaving me completely exposed to gamma rays, or whatever the hell is in X-Ray machines. I had said something like, "Way to make your patients feel safe, Dr. Pussypants."

"Okay, now we need to do your arm." Carlisle had me sit up. "It needs to be positioned right, so, may I?" He asked permission to maneuver my broken arm. I nodded. His hands were cold. I shivered. Once he got my arm positioned correctly, I heard the machine beeping again.

I found it odd that he didn't at least wear a protective lead gown or something. But then again, it's not like he had to worry about dying from too much exposure. I'm sure this machine had gotten a lot of use since he'd brought it home. Carlisle was constantly fixing up someone in the pack. He'd probably taken so many X-Rays that he'd been exposed to more radiation than someone who worked in a nuclear power plant. It's a good thing he was already sterile. All that constant radiation couldn't be good for _anyone's_ reproductive organs.

I sat still on the X-Ray table while Carlisle examined the films. After a few minutes, he entered the room again with Esme right behind him. She was like his little nurse.

"Well, how bad is it, Doc? Give it to me straight."

"Your arm is broken in three places," he explained. "And, as expected, it's already healing."

"Let me guess. The bones need to be set?" I questioned. He nodded. "And the ribs?"

"Fortunately, nothing needs to be done with them. It's just the arm that I need to repair."

_Repair. _Sounds like he was working on a car.

"Do what you've gotta do," I frowned.

Esme faced her husband. "Did you already give her something for the pain?" It was kind of nice of her to be worried about me. _Damn nice_ considering I hadn't ever treated any of the leeches with respect.

"It should already be taking effect," Carlisle assured Esme. He faced me again. "Of course, we could always opt for anesthesia."

There was no way in hell I was letting him put me completely unconscious for this procedure. I don't care how _good_ he was, he was _still_ a vampire. I tried not to let my aggression show. "No. Just...do your thing."

He placed his hands timidly on my arm. "This might hurt a bit, Leah," he warned me.

"Just get it over with." I ground my teeth together and waited for the agonizing pain. I saw Esme turn away. Ironically, I don't think the mommy vampire could stand to see anyone in pain, even if it was me.

I nearly bit through my tongue when Carlisle snapped the bone again. _Damn it, damn it. Shit! Son of a cocksucking motherfucker_! I screamed in my head. I managed not to shout out loud. I didn't want Charlie or Embry racing in here when they heard me screaming. When Carlisle finished, he quickly braced my arm in a sling.

"Are you okay, dear?" Esme questioned. I shook my head in confusion. Had the vampire mother hen just called me _dear_?

"Uh, yeah. The pain meds seem to be kicking in." It wasn't a complete lie. I felt more relaxed than when Jasper had been waving his magic hands over me.

We joined everyone in the living room again. They were all in pretty much the same places they had been before I'd gotten fixed up.

Carlisle smiled softly at me, "Well, the worst part is over. Now if you can manage not to phase for a few hours, you should be back to normal in no time."

"Doc, you just drugged me up. I highly doubt I'll be able to walk home without running into a telephone pole, or tripping over my own dopey feet." _Like Bella._ I added in thought. I looked at Carlisle to see if he had an idea of how to get me home. I sure as hell didn't want to spend anymore time here.

"I can drive you back home." Charlie suggested from across the room. He stood up and walked over to where Carlisle, Esme, and I were standing. "I told your mom I'd come by today, anyway. You can just ride with me."

That was nice of him. I had never been so happy that Charlie was sleeping with my mother.

"That would be awesome," I nodded. That had to be the drugs talking. Never mind the fact that I would be stuck in a car with the guy my mother was currently knocking boots with. The thought made me cringe a little, but I didn't have any other options. I looked in the corner and saw Jasper calmly watching me. Between the shot that Carlisle had given me, and his talented son keeping the atmosphere around me mellow, I felt like I was about to melt into the ground.

"How are you feeling, Leah?" When had Embry walked over to us? I hadn't even realized that he was standing next to me.

"Stoned as hell," I laughed. Crap, had I said that out loud? Ah, oh well. Whatever. I giggled a little bit more.

"I think I'd better get her home." Charlie shook Carlisle's hand. "As always, thanks for having me." He turned and faced Emmett. "You owe me twenty bucks." Apparently, Emmett's team had lost.

"I'll get you next time," Emmett shrugged.

"Bye, dad." Bella glided over to her father and embraced him in a very quick hug. I wondered how hard it was for her to smell his blood and not want to eat him.

"I think Nessie wants to say goodbye, too." Edward walked over cradling his daughter.

I was starting to feel a little crowded. There were too many vampires around. And everyone was talking. I felt like the entire room was spinning. There was a lot going on. I faced Embry and motioned for him to follow me outside.

"I think I'm going to wait in the car." I turned around and looked at the group of vampires staring at me. "Thank you so much for helping me, Carlisle. I owe you." Everyone looked blown away that I was actually being nice. I was surprised about that myself.

"Uh, exactly what kind of drugs did you give her?" I heard Esme whisper. Apparently, she was concerned about my sanity. Ha, yeah, that ship had already sailed.

"Just take it easy for a while," Carlisle advised me. I nodded in response, and Embry and I walked out of the big house. About half-way to Charlie's car, I could barely walk straight anymore. Embry had to catch me as I started to lose my balance.

"I think he might have overdone it a little on the pain meds," Embry mumbled.

Yeah. Probably on purpose. I had to wonder if they had doped me up this much intentionally. I can imagine that it would be hilarious for them to watch me stumble around drunkenly laughing. As Embry helped me into the car, part of me wanted to know if they were staring out the window and laughing at me.

Fortunately, the other part of me was so stoned that I really didn't care. I just closed my eyes and relaxed into the seat.

I had survived that idiot vampire in the clearing. Now, I just had to survive the ride home with Charlie...

Personally, the ride with Charlie frightened me more.


	35. I shoulda let the leech kill me

_We call them strong_

_Those who can face this world alone  
_

_Who seem to get by on their own  
_

_Those who will never take the fall  
_

_We call them weak  
_

_Who are unable to resist  
_

_The slightest chance love might exist  
_

_And for that forsake it all  
_

_They're so hell-bent on giving, walking a wire  
_

_Convinced it's not living if you stand outside the fire_

_"Standing Outside the Fire"_

_-Garth Brooks_

* * *

**Chapter 35:**

**I shoulda let the leech kill me**

The drugs pseudo-effect wore off about half-way through the car-ride home. Just my luck. I muttered. Couldn't Carlisle have given me enough to last the entire uncomfortable car-ride back with Charlie?

I kicked myself for telling Embry to phase back to check on Seth and Quil. He had offered to ride back with us, but I was so doped up that I figured I would sleep the entire way home, so I just suggested he make sure everything stayed structured in the pack. It had taken him all of two seconds to sort that out, and now he was running back with us. Periodically, I saw him through the trees.

Charlie saw me stirring. "How are you doing over there, Leah?" he questioned.

I might not have been able to lie to my pack about my pain, but at least I could lie to him.

"Not bad." _Translation:_ _Kill me please._ I continued with the fib, "I don't think it's as bad as everyone originally thought. Carlisle took care of me." _He re-broke my arm in __three__ places because of my super-fast healing abilities. _I forced out a smile, "It really wasn't that bad." _It was so painful that I thought I might rip the damn X-Ray table in half. _And the lie continued_, _"In fact, I think I'm going to go over to Embry's place and hang out. I never got a chance to thank him for staying with me." _He might be getting lucky today._ "I probably won't even have the sling on when I get home." _Please don't tell my mom._

Charlie frowned at me, "You know, if your mother asks, I'm not going to lie to her." I was a little startled that he had picked up on that.

"I'm not asking you to lie, just to…omit the truth," I grinned. I thought that was clever. Charlie didn't see the humor.

He glared at me with that "cop" glare. His eyebrows did the little caterpillar dance on his head. I really appreciated his concern, but it annoyed me that he wouldn't grant my request. Just because he and my mother had _a thing_ didn't automatically make him my new daddy.

I refrained from saying "you're not my father" out loud. If he _had_ been my dad, there's no telling what kind of brat I would be. Because Lord knows that Bella had turned out _so_ well. I rolled my eyes and then sighed. I knew that Bella being such a screw-up probably had nothing to do with him, seeing as how he really hadn't raised her, unless you count holidays and the summers.

Charlie automatically got the feeling that he'd overstepped his bounds.

"I know I come off as kind of a hard-ass sometimes, and I don't want you to get the wrong impression about me and your mother." I could see that he was getting nervous talking to me about this. "I just, I haven't, I, uh…" He lost his words.

"Geeze, Charlie, keep your pants on." I poked some fun at him. His face flushed beet red when he quickly recalled the incident in which I had caught him in his boxers with my mom.

"See, that's what I'm talking about." He was still kind of flustered. "Over the past couple of months, I _know_ you've seen your mother and I getting closer."

"I've seen enough to know that you wear boxers with puppies on them." I coughed under my breath. It was true. No matter where my mother turned in her life, she was _always_ surrounded by dogs. I saw Charlie blush again, and then he stumbled something out about not keeping up with the laundry lately.

"It's okay, Charlie. Really," I yawned. The pain medication was still running through my system. But now, instead of me being completely trashed out of my mind, I was just tired.

"I know there's a lot that I don't know about in your _world_, but one thing that I _do_ know is that I care about your mother a great deal. And I care about you and Seth, too. You guys are like my kids." I cringed at the thought as Bella for a sister. If I thought my life was difficult at the moment, I can't imagine growing up with that moron. _That_ would have been hell. Charlie continued, "You and your family have made my situation a hell of a lot easier than it could have been. Your mom has been completely open and honest with me, and she deserves nothing less than the same from me."

"Look, I get that you care about my mom. I do. But, the thing is…she puts on a strong front. She tries not to be the "damsel in distress," and she acts like she can handle anything." I knew this because I _was_ my mother. After so many years of fighting with my mom and dad, and telling myself that I would _never_ become my parents, I had come to accept that I was _exactly_ like her. And I was okay with it. There were worse people I could be. Besides, we're all pretty much destined to become the people who raise us. I continued, "But losing my dad ripped her apart. And every time Seth and I leave the house, I can see this look of desperation on her face. She tries to hide it, but I can always see the pain written in her eyes. She's terrified of losing us, too. But she knows that there is nothing she can do about the situation, so she just grits her teeth and bears it. So yeah, Seth and I _do_ lie to her from time to time, for the same reason that you asked _not_ to be told more about the situation with Bella. What we _don't_ know can't hurt us," I sighed. "So I would appreciate it if you just keep my adventure-filled day to yourself."

Charlie nodded silently. I think he understood where I was coming from. I could tell from the look on his face that he was wondering how much that Bella was keeping from _him_. Truth be told, for the first time ever, I understood why Bella wanted to keep her father out of the supernatural world. In her own screwed up way, she was trying to protect him. I could relate. I shook my head. Okay, I was relating to Bella? Carlisle had given me _waaay_ too much morphine.

Charlie and I had come to a mutual understanding, so the rest of the ride home was silent. When we pulled up to my house, I smiled at him.

"Thanks for the ride." I went to open the door, but then I paused and looked back to him. "Just know one thing...if you hurt her, you'll see what I'm _really_ like when I'm angry. And I'm not talking wolf-wise. Trust me, if you think I'm a threat on four feet, you should see me on two." I knew that the chances of Charlie doing something to hurt my mother were slim to none, but I felt that it was important that he knew just how far I would go to protect my family.

"You know that won't happen," Charlie assured me. And I believed him.

I saw Embry walking up to the car in his human form as Charlie and I got out. He walked over to Charlie and handed him something. Charlie chuckled.

"I forced Emmett to pay up before I left," Embry shrugged.

"I like you, Embry." Charlie laughed and pat his back.

Embry laughed as well. I failed to see what was funny. Of course, I never really did understand the male-bonding crap.

"So..." Embry looked at my house. "You and Mrs. Clearwater have anything fun planned this afternoon?"

"There is an arts show that she is interested in going to in Port Angeles. A bunch of the girls from here are apparently going. Matter of fact, I think your mom is going, too." He smiled at Embry.

"Great, so I guess our new tacky yard-art pelican is going to get a little friend."

His mother had a habit of picking out the worst-tasting, brightest colored metal yard art, and dragging it home to show off in her _already_ vibrant lawn. Seriously, there were so many pink birds, and purple frogs that every time I went to Embry's place, I felt like I was tripping on acid.

"Well, how about we let the adults enjoy their little finger painting, I mean, art exhibits," Embry joked. "You can come back to my place for a little while until these wild and crazy kids settle down."

We heard laughter from inside my house. Apparently, all the girls that were going were already here. There was a loud squeal of amusement from inside, and Charlie looked uncomfortable.

"I can't believe I offered to drive this estrogen bus," Charlie mumbled, very softly. He looked up when he realized that we had both heard that. Werewolf ears are very sensitive.

"I feel sorry for ya, Charlie," Embry nodded at Charlie. "You're a braver man than I." He slapped his back toughly. "Have fun."

We watched Charlie walking towards the house. Poor guy looked completely helpless. He had no idea what he was getting himself into. We could hear all the women chattering on even by the time we had reached Embry's place.

"So, how's your arm?" Embry asked as he opened the front door and motioned for me to come inside.

"Slowly getting better. The morphine that Carlisle gave me knocked me on my ass for a little while. But, the effects wore off, and now I'm at that "in between" place. Not completely high, but not in agonizing pain either. It's the happy medium." I sat down on the couch.

Embry sat down next to me. I felt his arm next to mine. It still fascinated me that even though both of our bodies ran pretty high temperature-wise, he still always felt warm to me.

"Hey, did that kid Cody walk way from the attack okay?"

"Last I checked he was completely back to normal. He smarted off to Paul, though. Bout lost a leg."

"He's lucky to be alive if he pissed Paul off," I frowned. "If he had Paul on his ass, he would have been begging for the vampire to tear him to pieces." I would have to say that Paul was the only wolf whose temper was worse than mine.

I thought about the vampire in the clearing today. None of the Cullens mentioned anything about knowing him. The fact that he was scouting out the area seemed very odd to me. I wondered if it had anything to do with Irina.

"Have we heard anything more about the blonde bimbo from the cliff that day? The one that saw Bella, freaked, and ran away?" I laughed a little. If it were me, I probably would have reacted the same exact way.

"Nothing new. Alice is frustrated because her visions of Irina are constantly changing. She keeps making sporadic decisions and changes her course all the time."

"What about the vampire in the clearing today? Did the Cullens know him?" I questioned.

I saw Embry's facial expression stiffen up. "Well, there was talk," he said seriously. "When I asked Emmett today, he said that it's possible some members of the Volturi might be coming to town to see Bella."

It's a good thing that I was still flying high on pain killers, because if not, I would have broken quite a few things, and come up with a lot more creative swear-words. The Volturi is _not_ someone I wanted to see anywhere _near_ my town.

When Edward had tried to kill himself_—_I grinned at the memory_—_he had gone to Italy to this vampire army called the Volturi. When Bella abandoned Jacob to rush off and save her sweetie, the fact that she knew about vampires was called to the attention of the dictator leaders of all the leeches. Because she knew about the secret, they only offered two options. One was offered by Alice, where Bella became a vampire. The other: Death. I snorted, I would have chosen death.

So now that she was a vampire, she had to go to see these nutcases to _prove_ that she was one of them. That was just stupid. All she had to do was stand on a cliff in broad daylight. They'd be able to see her freakish glittery skin all the way across the ocean. I thought that she had planned a trip to Italy to see them, but was it possible that they were scouting out possibly coming here? I shuddered. I really didn't want to think about it.

"That makes sense. He was reporting back to the Volturi," I sighed.

"Well, he won't get a chance to now." Even though I had suffered a few _minor_ injuries, I was still able to subdue the vampire long enough for my pack to rip him apart.

I thought about those last few seconds when the vampire had me by the throat. Embry had probably seen my last thoughts. I cowered down a little. I'd thought about Sam. I felt guilty because of that. Poor Embry. He was ready to risk his life to save mine, and there I was, thinking about another boy.

"I didn't realize that before you die, you really do see your entire life." I shook my head and laughed nervously. "All I could think was, _man, I have no life_."

"I wouldn't go that far," Embry shrugged nonchalantly.

"So, did you happen to catch a glimpse of _my so called life _when I thought I was I was going to kick the bucket?"

"I was concentrating pretty hard on getting there and ripping that vamp a new asshole," Embry admitted. "But, yeah."

I quieted my tone, "I thought about a lot of people. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little stoked about the possibility of seeing my dad again. But then, I thought about everyone I would be leaving," I made sure to look him in the eyes as I said that. "And that made me _not_ want to die so much."

Embry laughed, "I _did_ see a pretty full photo album in that head of yours."

"I was actually kind of surprised at some of the people that popped into my head," I admitted.

"Like who?"

"Well, if you had told me six months ago that Jacob Black and I would be _friends_, I probably would have fallen into the floor in hysterics," I said. "So, his face kind of surprised me. And, I saw a glimpse of Charlie in his uniform, which is weird considering that every time I see him, he seems to be missing an article of clothing." Embry and I continued to laugh. "It was comforting to see my family, and…you." I saw him smile bashfully. I loved that smile. He could be so damn shy sometimes, and other times, he was so loud and obnoxious. "And I, uh, thought of Sam."

"I caught that," Embry said. He didn't look upset. In fact, he looked completely at ease.

I still felt bad for thinking about Sam.

"I'm sorry." It felt weird saying those words, but I really meant them.

"Don't be," Embry shrugged. "Sam is important to you. I understand that. The two of you were together for a _long_ time. When you have a history with someone, it's guaranteed that they are going to be on your mind."

"I know, but I still feel shitty about the fact that he still _is_ on my mind."

"You shouldn't." Embry didn't seemed phased at all by my admission. "I don't expect you to forget your past, Leah."

"But it's stupid." I was frustrated by the fact that I just couldn't let go. "The past shouldn't matter. I mean, the two of us are here, together, _presently_."

"Yep. But that doesn't mean you're over the past. And that's fine. Because I want you to take all the time you need to move on."

"It really doesn't bother you that I'm still _stupidly_ hanging on to Sam?" I questioned.

"Nope, because I know what the _future_ holds."

"Oh? Been talking to Alice, have you?" I asked sarcastically.

"Even if she _could_ see our future, I wouldn't have to rely on her visions to know that we're a sure thing. I just know." Embry shrugged again, and put his arm around me. "To me, you're worth waiting for."

Normally, I cringed away when Embry said something romantic to me. I didn't do the "mushy" shit. Most tender moments made me want to vomit. But for some odd reason, I found that statement really sweet.

"You know, you don't _completely_ annoy me," I smiled.

He laughed, "Coming from you, that's considered quite a compliment."

"No, I mean it. I always thought this "imprinting" thing was just a wolf's way to justify his stupid-ass, over-affectionate, domineering behavior. How come you don't act like all the other idiots who've imprinted?" I was surprised that he wasn't annoying the hell out of me. If I was being doted on the way that some of the other girls the wolves had chosen, I wouldn't be able to stand Embry. But he wasn't as obsessive about it.

"What we have is different."

God, he had _that_ right. Of all the situations that my future had to offer me, this is _not_ one that I would have seen coming.

He continued, "Although, if you think about it, some of it makes sense. A werewolf pretty much gives the person they imprint on anything they want. And I know one of the things you want most is your space, so I have no problem giving that to you," he smiled. "You might not realize it yet, but you've got it _made_. I mean, you could ask me for anything you wanted, and I would give it to you."

"_Anything_ I want?" I smirked. I thought about something I'd like to have. "You know, I've always wanted a pony," I joked.

He gave me a semi-serious look. "Be serious for a minute. Is there anything that you _want_?"

I thought it over for a minute.

"A briefcase full of money and helicopter," I laughed. I couldn't resist.

"Leah…" He was still begging me to answer the question seriously.

Well, happiness would be nice. And I guess he would probably come pretty close to making me as happy as I could ever be.

"I _would_ like to be happy. Like _completely_ happy, so I won't have to be such a bitter bitch anymore." It was asking a lot. And I didn't expect Embry to _change_ who I was. I'm not even sure that I wanted to change.

But he surprised me when he smiled warmly and nodded, "Okay, that's something I can work with. My goal will be to make you happier than you have ever been."

Well, he was already half-way there. I hadn't been this happy in a long time. Today had been an extremely stressful day. I had gotten my ass handed to me saving a dumb, little teenage werewolf, I let a vampire touch me, and even more stunning, trusted him to fix my broken bones, I had endured a long car-ride with Charlie, and now I was having a heart-to-heart with Embry. So many feelings. Yeesh. And yet, I wasn't running away. Nor was I as anxious as I thought I would be. I knew that part of it was the drugs the good doctor had given me. But, I think I was _actually_ starting to get comfortable with the idea of Embry and me together.

He took my hand and softly squeezed it. I smiled and looked up at him. I watched as he lowered his soft brown eyes to meet my gaze. As I studied the look on his face, I couldn't help but notice how inviting his gentle russet lips were. I realized that for the first time since we had started dated, _I_ wanted to kiss _him_.

I thought about it for a moment. I still didn't understand this relationship. I knew how much he cared about me, and I cared about him, too. But in my life, every time I had come even _remotely_ close to being happy, something came along and crushed my spirit. I was just so used to bad things happening that I was constantly waiting for that other shoe to drop. What if I found happiness with Embry? Could I handle it if it didn't last? There was just so much I didn't know about the future. God, my head was getting over-stimulated with all these thoughts. Finally, I just shut my mind up. It was time to throw caution to the wind and just act on impulse. Screw getting hurt.

I leaned forward before I had time to change my mind. And before I knew what was happening, I felt our lips touch. He ran his hand gently across my cheek as we moved our lips in synchronization.

I pulled away after a few more gentle pecks. The kiss had been nice. It was different than when I had been with Sam. It was softer, and it had more meaning.

Embry was staring at me in shock. He knew that I was not normally a very affectionate person. I was guessing that he didn't think that _I_ would ever make the first move. After he got over his shock, he let out a tiny chuckle,

"Damn, Carlisle really doped you up, didn't he?"

I couldn't help but laugh as well. "You have no idea," I grinned stupidly. I paused for a moment, and then added jokingly, "Wanna make out?" At least, I _thought_ I was joking. I couldn't tell what I _really_ wanted to do.

Embry scanned my face with a concerned expression in his eyes. After a moment, I saw him lean back into the couch. He knew that I was still half out of it from the drugs. And I could see from his face that he didn't plan on going any further with me right now. He didn't want to take advantage of me while I was _loopy_. I could see just by looking into his eyes that he didn't want me to do anything that I would later regret. The fact that he had taken my current state into account instead of just giving into his raging teenage hormones spoke volumes to me. Embry was wonderful.

"Maybe when you're completely healed." Of course he would use that as an excuse. He was probably right. I wasn't thinking clearly at the moment. "But for now, just relax." He put his arms around me.

I yawned, and laid my head into his chest. I didn't realize how exhausted that I was. I sighed as I closed my eyes.

"You're too good to me, Embry."

"After everything you've been through, you deserve it." Embry pulled me closer. I didn't know it was possible, but I felt myself relax even _more._ "It's been a crazy morning. Why don't you just rest?"

I managed to squeak out another laugh. My words were barely audible.

"Don't tell me what to do." But it was no use. I couldn't fight against my exhaustion any longer. Everything drifted out of my mind as I fell asleep in Embry's arms.


	36. Leave it to Jacob to ruin my day

_I can't get to sleep, I think about the implications_

_Of diving in too deep, and possibly the complications_

_Especially at night, I worry over situations  
_

_I know I'll be alright_

_It's just overkill_

_"Overkill"_

_-Colin Hay_

* * *

**Chapter 36:**

**Leave it to Jacob to ruin my day**

I don't know how long it had been since I'd fallen asleep, but I woke up to the chime of Embry's doorbell. I grunted a little and kept my eyes shut. The pain medication had worn off completely, but I was already healed, so I wasn't in pain anymore. I was just having a hard time opening my eyes. I figured I was probably sluggish from the after-effects of the meds.

Apparently, Embry had fallen asleep, too. He jerked awake when the bell rang and accidentally kicked over a glass of water that was on the coffee table in front of us.

"Crap." He tried not to stir me as he slowly took his arm out from under me. I heard him fumble around the table, cleaning up his mess. He quickly opened the front door.

I perked up when I heard Jake's voice.

"Hey man, you get Leah home okay?"

"Actually." Embry waved him in. "She's hiding out here while all the crazy women of La Push do old lady stuff," he explained.

I poked my head over the back of the couch and waved to Jacob.

"Uh oh," he smirked slyly. "You two, unattended in an empty house? _That_ can't be good."

"You're such an ass sometimes, Jacob," I said as I stood up. I took a moment to stretch. God, it was nice to not be in agonizing pain anymore. I needed to remember to thank Carlisle again for fixing me up. I wanted him to know that it wasn't just the morphine talking when I had thanked him before.

"Looks like you aren't hurting too badly anymore." Jacob noticed that I wasn't having any trouble getting around. "How's the arm? Are you able to throw like a sissy girl again?"

"Come here and let me punch you so I can let you judge for yourself," I snapped.

He faced Embry and laughed, "I'm going to go out on a limb and say she's back to normal?"

"Looks like it," Embry nodded.

"Cool. Well, I'm glad you healed okay," Jacob nodded.

"Well, I hate it when Seth is right, but he had a point about Carlisle," I shrugged. "The bloodsucker knows what he's doing, I'll give him that."

"Yeah. Who woulda thought that I would be spending all my free time with a bunch of goody-goody _vampires_?" Jake laughed.

"Speaking of which…" Embry looked at the clock. "How long have you been away from Nessie now?"

"I was just on my way back," Jacob admitted. "I had to go over a few things with Sam."

"How'd that go?" I questioned.

"The boundaries haven't changed. We also talked about Sam keeping a closer eye on his boys." He looked at me. "As it is, you did them a huge service by helping Cody. But, if he hadn't strayed from his assignment, you wouldn't have been hurt in the first place." I could see that Jake was still irritated that I'd been hurt. "Sam agrees. And he says he's sorry. He asked me to have you come speak with him."

"Uh, I don't think so." I shook my head.

All the revelations that had come about regarding Sam were not something I was ready to face. I still had a lot of pent up aggression and hostility. And I was also still _majorly_ heartbroken anytime I saw his face or even heard his name, so for me to see him would probably not be a good idea. Especially since I had found out that he still might love me. He had imprinted on Emily, but apparently when I walked away from him, it stirred unresolved feelings that he had for me as well. We were both dealing with a lot, and if we were to talk now, it wouldn't end well for either of us. Besides, I was still trying to figure out what my kiss with Embry meant. Obviously, I wanted to move on, but there was still something holding me back.

"Aw, come on. You should go and talk to him," Jacob suggested. "I mean, you at least owe him that."

The hell I did! I didn't _owe_ Sam Uley _anything_! He's the one who left. Whether or not he thought it was a mistake or not, _he_ left _me_.

"He _is_ worried about you." Even Embry was pushing me to do this.

Jacob nodded, "When he saw you hurt today, he didn't know what to do. It killed him to see you in pain."

"Then tell him to stop causing it," I muttered. Damn, I hadn't meant to let that slip. "Whatever. He knows we heal fast. Tell him I'm fine now."

"I will if I see him. But he's human right now, and I don't know when he'll phase back, so I can't promise that I'll get a chance to tell him anything. I didn't figure you would fight against me this much to go see him."

"You should have. You know my feelings on the matter," I frowned.

"I can't keep up with your feelings, Leah. You're all over the place these days," Jacob mumbled.

Well, I couldn't kick his ass for a true statement. My mood swings were getting hard to read for even me lately.

"Anyway, I just stopped by to update you." He glanced at Embry, and then he looked back to me. "And to see how you were doing." He paused. "Think you can phase again?"

"Probably. Why? Do you need me to?" I questioned.

"It couldn't hurt," Jacob nodded. "Originally, I was just going to have Embry come back to the Cullen's with me."

"No problem," Embry nodded.

Jacob faced me, "I wasn't sure that you would be completely healed yet. But, since you are, I kind of want all hands on deck for this. Since that mystery leech appeared in the woods, I would like to keep a really close eye on things. We still aren't sure who he was, or what he was doing here."

"Maybe we should have opted to tie him up and torture him to tell us the truth. We could have waved a giant bag of blood in front of him until he sang like a little sissy canary." I chuckled as I walked over to where Jacob and Embry were standing.

"I'm actually surprised you're still here in La Push considering you're _this_ concerned about a breech in security." Embry looked to him for an explanation. "Well, _that_, and you whine and moan every time you're away from Nessie."

I laughed quietly. I had to agree with Embry, "Yeah, I thought you practically lived with the Cullens now."

"Esme did offer me a room." Jacob shook his head. "But I declined. I just go a day at a time. There have been a couple times when Edward gets _really_ obnoxious, so I'll just run home and spend a few hours with my dad." I saw him frown a bit. "He's been such a _joy_ to be around lately," he said sarcastically. "I mean, I love him and I feel sorry for him, but my old man is about two seconds away from me putting him into a home for crazy old guys in wheelchairs," he huffed. "_Every_ freaking time I walk through the door, I have to hear some speech about the treaty and responsibilities and _yackity, yack, yack_. It just gets old."

It sounded like Billy was doing his best to get his son to come home. But no matter how hard he tried, it wasn't going to happen. The tension between Billy and Jacob made me thankful for the relationship that Seth and I shared with our mother. She never was one to push us to do anything we didn't want to do. She had always supported us, no matter what stupid decisions we had made in life. That's not to say that she didn't step in a few times and give us a good ass-whooping.

Jacob let out a heavy sigh, "I just feel like the more I visit my father, the further away we end up from each other." He shook his head. "That's actually while I'm still on this side of town. I just finished up trying to mend things with him."

"How'd that go?" Embry asked, and he sounded like he really wanted to know.

Jacob shrugged, "We've got a lot to work through. He doesn't get me and I don't get him."

I laughed. That sounded like the relationship that Jacob had with me. Maybe he had that affect on everyone he knew. Then I laughed harder because I thought to myself that maybe Carlisle should give Billy some of the stuff he'd given me for my arm. _That_ would sure as hell fix things between Billy and Jake, because he'd be so drunk that he wouldn't even care! Both guys shot me an odd look. My laughter had caused them to worry.

"Sorry, just-had a flashback to me stoned on pain meds." I stuck close to the truth.

Embry chuckled, "Sometimes I worry about you, Leah." He rolled his eyes.

I just smiled at him and looked at Jacob. "He's trying. I mean, he visits with you and Nessie at the Cullen's place sometimes."

"Yeah, when your mom drags him," Jacob nodded. "He doesn't like to be there at all. He's warmed up a little to Nessie, but he still hasn't accepted that I imprinted on her." He shook his head in frustration and walked towards the door. "Let's just head out." He opened the door and then laughed softly, "If I didn't have Nessie to go to right now, I would probably think that today was just one heck of an unlucky day for me," he grumbled. "It's getting ready to rain. Looks like I'm gonna go back to my girl smelling like a wet dog."

"You've _always_ smelled like a wet dog." I followed Jacob out the front door. Embry followed me.

"This is true," Jacob smiled.

I could see that even though Jacob was happy, there was a hint of anguish in his expression. He was hurting about Billy more than he was letting on. I wanted to say something to make him feel better, but I had _no_ clue where to begin.

"Uh, er, you know, adults can be childish, too…" Okay, I had started. Where the hell did I go from here?

"Uh huh?" Jacob looked at me unsurely.

"Your dad is confused and trying to figure things out. I overhear him and my mother talking a lot." Shouting at the top of their lungs, actually_. _"He's doing his best to understand the situation for what it is. Just give him some time to adjust."

"_Time_ isn't exactly on my side right now," Jacob grumbled. I could see how he felt that way. The more time that went by, the faster that Nessie matured.

"They'll figure it out, Jake," Embry said softly. "Nessie will be fine."

"I hope you're right," Jacob sighed.

The rain started to trickle down on us, moistening our clothes. We didn't waste any time as we undressed and tied our clothing to our ankles. Embry and Jacob phased first. They ran ahead. I wanted to take my time. Just because my bones were healed didn't mean this might not hurt. I stood still in the rain for a moment. I concentrated on the pitter patter of the drops hitting the ground around me. After taking a relaxing breath, I let my fur burst through my skin.

I breathed out a sigh of relief when I felt no pain.

_Bout time,_ Jacob teased me. _I thought we'd be half-way to the Cullen's by the time you stopped being such a wuss and just phased._

_Embry, you still running with Jake_? I questioned. When I saw them take off into the woods together, they had stayed side by side.

_Yep._

_Bite him for me_, I smiled.

It was silent for a minute and then I heard Jacob yelp.

_Ow, dude, what the hell? Don't you know sarcasm when you hear it_!

_Of course I do,_ Embry said. _She was being literal, though._

I really liked that Embry knew me so well. It was nice to have someone who could decipher when I was being serious and when I was just playing around.

_Seth, if you and Quil want to take the east, I'm going to have Embry and Leah cover the west._ Jacob started to act like the Alpha.

_Kay._ Seth shifted his path. _How are you feeling, Leah_? he questioned.

_Back to a hundred percent,_ I shrugged. _As much as it pains me to admit this, you were right about Carlisle._

I could feel the smugness radiating from Seth's thoughts.

_Don't let it go to your head. It's only taken you fifteen years to get __something__ right,_ I teased him.

_Glad you're feeling better,_ Seth barked out a sarcastic laugh.

_Oh, yay. Leah's back._ I heard _no_ excitement in Quil's voice whatsoever.

_Damn straight_, I nodded. _And Jake's getting ready to phase back, and as soon as he does, you're __mine,__ Ateara,_ I threatened Quil.

_Now, now. Play nice, children,_ Jacob joked. I heard his mood change and he got serious for a moment. _Just run the borders. Howl if anything happens._ He broke away from Embry and phased out. I guessed he was going to run the rest of the way to the Cullen's as human.

_Man, he's really freaking out,_ Seth said quietly.

_He just doesn't want anything to happen to Nessie,_ Quil shrugged. _I would probably do the same thing if Claire was in any danger._

I had to laugh, _The only danger Claire is in is being spoiled to death by you_.

_What can I say_? Quil said happily. _Seeing her laugh makes me smile._

_Is __that__ why you act like such a doofus all the time_? I questioned.

_Oh, nice one,_ Embry snorted out laughter.

_Say what you want. _Quil didn't seem bothered by me taunting him. _I don't care. Because I know that as she grows up, I am going to provide her with so much love and happiness. I've got so much to teach her…_

_Yeah, but who's going to teach __you__?_ Seth asked sarcastically.

_Oh!_ I laughed. Score one for my brother.

I listened silently as Quil prattled on about love, and imprinting, and all that sissy stuff. Embry and Quil continued to tease him, but they still seemed to be listening to his words and taking him seriously about certain things.

It was odd that I had become so accustomed to spending time with my pack, and _not_ hating every second of it. And yeah, we ragged the hell out of each other, but it was all in good fun. I wouldn't be able to tease them if I didn't love all of them so much. They were my boys, even if they _did_ annoy me sometimes.

I was whisked out of my thoughts quickly when I heard a growl escape Quil's mouth. He was picking up on a scent. I immediately recognized it.

_Ease up, Quil. It's Alice and Jasper._ I was a little surprised that Quil hadn't realized that it was them. He must have just been caught off-guard. He _was_ lovingly gushing about Claire before he'd picked up on it.

I saw through Quil's eyes that Alice was racing through the trees, pulling Jasper along with her. Quil stopped and glared after them. He was extremely confused. Everyone stayed silent for a minute. I could feel my pack's tension.

_They're almost to the border._ Embry didn't understand what she was doing.

Seth let out a whine as well, _If she's not careful, she might cross the line. Sam doesn't take very kindly to stragglers. I doubt he'll let her explain before he acts…_

_Alice can see the future, Seth. I'm pretty sure that if she sees hers disappear, she'll stop._ I wasn't as concerned as the others.

Though I was also curious as to where they were going, I didn't think much of it. Alice was probably just trying to drag Jasper on some crazy shopping trip or something. Though I don't know why she would have gone so close to the Quileute's border.

I just continued my run as the boys tried to decipher what Alice was thinking. I didn't really care what was going on in her head, because it probably had something to do with clothes. But even though every fiber in my body was telling me that I shouldn't be concerned, there was still a tiny part of me that felt that something was wrong. _Seriously_ wrong. I felt myself shiver a little.

_Damn it,_ I muttered. Now I was worried.


	37. This might get interesting

_I feel like I'm living the worst day_

_Over and over again_

_I feel like the summer is leaving again_

_I feel like I'm living the worst day_

_I feel like you're gone_

_And every day is the worst day ever_

_"Worst Day Ever"_

_-Simple Plan_

* * *

**Chapter 37:**

**This might get interesting…**

Just because Seth, Embry, and Quil were freaking out about why Alice and Jasper were running so close to being outside their land, I decided to backtrack and follow their scent. I was completely baffled. The trails they were leaving didn't make any sense at all. In fact, it seemed that they were going in circles. But why? Were they running from something?

The only time I found that the scent had strayed off-course was when I followed Alice's scent to Edward and Bella's little cottage in the woods. The weird thing is that only Alice had gone there. I didn't find Jasper's trail anywhere near the house. I glared at the cottage. I knew no one was home. So why would Alice go there?

_Any sign of them_? I questioned as I ran away from Edward and Bella's little fairytale home.

_It's like she's purposely trying to confuse us._ Seth didn't understand. _I got to the border and her scent continues over the line._

Why would Alice be that suicidal? She had never struck me as the type to purposely put herself and her husband in danger for no particular reason. I felt my heart sink a little. There must _be_ a reason.

_Quil, you still at the border_? I questioned.

He whimpered, _It's really eerie here. Paul and Jared are just staring at me from the trees. I can feel it._

_Is Sam around_?

_I haven't seen him,_ Quil shook his head. I could see through Quil's eyes that Embry was sitting next to him.

Embry added quietly, _It's like Paul and Jared are warning us to stay back. Like they don't want us to know something._

_If they killed Alice and Jasper, Jacob is going to be livid,_ I said the first thing that popped into my head.

_He wouldn't,_ Embry frowned.

_No, I guess not_. I took back my overreaction. After all, Jacob had just spoken with Sam earlier today. I had to guess that part of that conversation had been about keeping his new family safe. And even though Sam hated the fact that Jake had imprinted on Nessie, he had to accept that the Cullens were part of Jacob's life now.

And I wanted to believe that Sam was good enough that he wouldn't do anything to hurt Jacob. But I just wasn't sure. I groaned a little. How had I come from hating the vampires so damn much to actually _caring_ about whether or not they were alive?

_Should we phase to talk to them_? Quil questioned.

_No. If they __are__ hiding something, we shouldn't push them. Let's just talk to Jacob_. I was out of ideas. This is something that he needed to deal with. I let out a low howl.

We waited, but Jacob never phased. What the hell was going on?

_Okay, everyone to the Cullen's place. Now_. I ordered as I raced to the mansion. The others followed. Something really bad was going on.

We were outside the house within minutes. I felt relief wash over my body when I glanced through the window and saw Jacob sitting on the couch, completely unharmed. The rest of the Cullens, sans Alice and Jasper, were with him.

_They look really upset,_ Seth noticed.

Edward glanced out the window. He knew that we were here. He didn't say anything, but his stone face looked hard and broken. I recalled the last time I saw him look that way. It was when Bella was on her deathbed. What could possibly have him so depressed again? I grinned a little. Maybe Bella was dying again.

"I don't understand," Jacob said breathlessly as he looked at Carlisle. "The Volturi wants you _all_ dead?" He glanced at Nessie, sleeping in Bella's arms. "Why?"

I growled when I heard him mention the Volturi. Now _there_ was a group I would like to rip to shreds. As if being a vampire wouldn't suck enough without their stupid tyrannical rule.

Carlisle looked pained as he answered. I frowned. I didn't like the look he had on his face.

"Alice had a vision." I saw him look down and sigh. "Irina drew the incorrect assumptions when she came here and saw Nessie."

I suddenly wished that we had caught the blonde that day she was hovering above everyone on the cliff. Because something told me she was behind all this.

Carlisle confirmed it seconds later, "Irina went to the Volturi. She _showed_ Aro her thoughts."

Wow, there were a hell of a lot of vampires out there with extra abilities. And from what I'd heard about the Volturi, they were _filled_ with vampires who had special skills.

"So, they assumed that Nessie was an immortal child?" Jacob questioned.

I listened as Carlisle explained to Jacob about immortal children. I didn't like hearing it, because it involved vampires turning small children into monsters. I felt bad for the kids involved. The Volturi had ordered them to be destroyed because the immortal children didn't have control over themselves and went on a killing spree. Since that time, any vampire who dared to turn a child was automatically sentenced to death.

I finally got what Alice was running from. The day that Irina had seen Nessie with Bella and Jacob, she figured that she was looking at an immortal child. And now, anyone associating with the Cullens would be killed.

_So, I don't get what the big deal is,_ Quil frowned. _They come, meet Nessie, see she's got a heartbeat, and go about their business._

Edward took over the explanation from Carlisle, probably so he could answer Quil's question.

"The Volturi aren't a force to be reasoned with. They won't give us any time to explain. They don't ask questions. They just attack."

_Oh, well, that could be a problem,_ Quil nodded.

Yes, it certainly could.

Carlisle continued to explain the situation to Jacob, "We think that you might be in danger too, Jacob."

Jacob forced out a laugh, "When am I _not_?"

"Irina saw you that day as well, and the Volturi is aware of your existence."

"Good. So they'll know who's kicking their ass when they come to town." Jacob let out a growl.

_Here, here_! I agreed. It was about time that we got to rip some vampires to pieces.

"Doc, I'm sure my pack won't have a problem standing beside you when they come." Jacob tried to reassure Carlisle that they weren't alone in this fight.

_Hell, yeah! We got your back, Jake_! Embry barked out an approval to let him know we were here. He glanced out the window and nodded at us.

"And Sam's pack will fight, too." He seemed pretty confident about that. "We spoke about a great deal of things today. He knows what Nessie and your family mean to me. Plus, I highly doubt that he's going to _willingly_ let a pack of moronic, fascist vampires waltz into town without a fight."

"I'm not sure I can allow you to risk your lives," Carlisle sighed.

"It's not like we haven't done it before." Jacob stood up from the couch. "My mind's made up, Carlisle." I drew my head back in shock. I had _never_ heard Jacob address Carlisle by his name with such respect before.

"Jacob…" I saw Bella bite down on her lip. It was interesting that she had carried such a _human_ trait over into her vampire lifestyle.

"It's no use, Bells. I will _not_ let something happen to you. To _her_…" He placed his hand gently on Nessie's soft little cheeks and then walked over to the window.

"I'm sure you overheard everything?" he asked.

We all nodded.

Jacob drew in a breath. "Anyone have any objections?" he questioned. "Because you guys don't _have_ to fight if you don't want to."

_I stand behind you all the way_. I looked into his eyes. He knew what I was trying to say.

"Thanks, Leah." He forced out a sad smile. "Everyone else okay with this?"

_Let's kick some vampire ass_! Quil riled himself up.

_We're with you, man_! Embry agreed.

_Whatever you say, Jake,_ Seth nodded eagerly.

"Good," Jacob nodded. "Glad to have you on board." He looked at me. "I need you to explain this to Sam's pack." He glanced back to his sleeping beauty. "I can't leave her. Especially not now…"

I nodded. I understood.

"Once they are aware of the situation, just do a quick sweep of the perimeter, and then come back here," Jacob instructed.

I wasn't even thinking about the fact that I might have to talk to Sam after all as I dashed forward towards the border.

_Seth, Quil, run the line while I update Sam's pack._

_Leah, are you sure you want to do the talking? _Embry questioned. I could tell he was concerned about how I was going to handle talking with Sam. I mean, just less than an hour ago, I spit at the idea of having to talk to him.

_This is nothing but business. I can handle that,_ I assured Embry.

He didn't say anything back as he followed me out to the border. Once I got there, I realized that Sam's scent wasn't anywhere around. I could smell Paul and Brady, and I could smell the newbie, too.

_The line's clear,_ Seth assured me. Wow, he had gotten that done quicker than I thought he would. Guess speed ran in the family. I could see that he and Quil were running up behind Embry and I.

I stared across the border. I could see Paul staring back at me through the trees.

I quickly phased and threw on some clothes.

"Alright Paul, get your ass out here!" I crossed the border and started to walk towards the woods. Almost immediately after I came off of the Cullen's land, Paul was walking towards me on two feet with Brady and Cody behind him as wolves.

"Oh, for crying out loud," I snorted as I met him half-way. "Did you really have to bring the troops? It's _me_, not an army of vampires."

"All the more reason to have them come with me." Paul looked at me warily.

I couldn't help but laugh. Was he _that_ afraid of me? I could hear an uneasy whine coming from the trees behind me. Seth.

I turned around and rolled my eyes. "Fine, if it makes you feel better, then come on." I waved for my pack to come stand behind me. I really wasn't nervous about anything happening. If it did, I could totally take Paul. Brady couldn't fight worth shit, and I had also seen Cody in action. I'm pretty sure I could take down all three of them by myself. But if it made the pack feel better, I didn't mind having them by my side. Seth came up on my right, and Embry on my left. Quil paced back and forth behind all of us, watching Paul nervously.

"Sam's still letting you babysit the new kid after that thing with the vampire earlier?" I couldn't believe that Sam had put Paul in charge of Cody again after Paul had let the kid slip away from him before.

"It's not like we have a choice. If you hadn't noticed, we're spread pretty thin these days," Paul growled.

I really didn't want to have this conversation with Paul. As much as it pained me to ask, I wanted to talk to Sam. "Is Sam around?"

He looked surprised by my request. "He's busy."

"Doing what?"

"What Sam does is none of your business anymore, Leah. You aren't part of this pack." He spit at me.

That didn't bother me as much as it should have.

"You're right," I shrugged. "I guess I'll just tell you, then." _Bitter bastard_. I added in thought.

"Tell me what?" There was a certain tone in his voice that told me that he knew what I was about to tell him. But he didn't act like he wanted to tell me _how_ he knew it.

"There is an army of vampires coming here," I explained. I watched Paul's reaction carefully. He furrowed his brow, tightened his lips, and then nodded for me to continue. "Long story short, there was a misunderstanding about Nessie, so they're coming here to destroy the Cullens."

Paul nodded silently, "I see." His lack of emotion was beginning to annoy me. Even if he didn't care about the Cullens well being, I thought at least he would've shown a little excitement about the possibility of fighting some evil leeches. Paul had _always_ loved to fight.

"We're going to fight with them. Jake can't stand the thought of losing Nessie. And he's asking for the pack's help. We know Sam won't ignore a vampire invasion. So we're asking you to stand with us." _Though, if you decide not to, that would be fine by me. __I__ still don't like you guys._ I was doing exceptionally well keeping my smart-ass remarks to myself. I guess this "second in command" thing had really forced me to grow up a bit.

"I'm sure that Sam would agree that keeping the town safe from vampires is still the first priority. I can't see why he _wouldn't_ want to be involved," Paul finally said after deliberating over his thoughts.

"Great. Yeah, so, we'll keep you updated." I guess that was it. Paul really didn't have the authority in the pack to make the decisions. I'm sure once Sam saw this conversation in Paul's thoughts, he would come to his own decision. As I turned to walk away, I got the sudden urge to ask Paul something. "You haven't by chance seen Alice and Jasper lately, have you?"

I noticed Brady glance away. Paul looked at the ground. I _knew_ it. They knew something! _What_ were they hiding from us?

Seth let out a soft whimper, and nudged me with his nose.

"Yeah, I know, kid," I said under my breath. I faced Paul again. "If you see them, just tell them to come back to the mansion."

I heard Paul stifle a hard laugh, and then he looked at me seriously again.

"Yeah. Sure thing…" I could hear the sarcasm in his tone.

"Fucking dick." Well, I hadn't managed to suppress _that_ thought.

Paul just rolled his eyes at my hostility. "Oh yeah, Leah, that _really_ hurts my feelings, coming from such a screwed up bitch as yourself."

Embry let out a growl from beside me and snapped at Paul. Paul just laughed at the warning. Seth and Quil inched forward, echoing Embry's growls with their own snarls.

"Guys, back off." I glanced at them. Not that I didn't appreciate the gesture, but there were more important things to deal with than having to worry about a dog fight. Against my better judgment, I didn't call Paul the list of names that I had for him racked up in my brain. Instead, I just took a deep breath to keep myself calm. "Look Paul, we haven't always gotten along, but something tells me that we're going to have to work together in the coming weeks, so I'll lay off of the hostility if you do."

Paul looked surprised by my gesture. I smiled to myself. I had caught the asshole _completely_ off-guard. "Uh, yeah. Okay."

"Good." _Suck it, jerkwad_. "Well, I guess we're done here," I nodded. As I turned to leave, I heard a soft bark from behind me. It wasn't Brady, so I assumed that it was Cody.

"What does he want?" I questioned.

Paul snapped at Cody, "It never would have happened if you hadn't disobeyed the orders."

Cody whined, and Paul huffed, "Fine," he grumbled and then faced me. "He wants me to thank you for saving him from that vampire." Paul looked over at Cody, who nodded his giant head and swished his tail from side to side.

I looked at Cody. "No problem." _Just stop being such an idiot._ Damn, I was getting good at this suppression thing.

I turned to leave, but again, was stopped by Paul.

"Hey, Leah?" he asked softly. I was surprised by his change in tone. It sounded almost hesitant now.

"Yes?" I tried my best not to sound annoyed.

"Sam _does_ want to talk to you," Paul said. "Maybe you should stick around until he gets back."

If I stuck around here any longer, I couldn't guarantee that I wouldn't rip Paul's nuts off. He was really starting to irritate the hell out of me. Plus, the more I heard that Sam wanted to talk to me, the more I _didn't_ want to talk to him.

"Another time maybe," I shrugged. "I've got other things I need to be doing." I left out the part where that "other thing" was protecting vampires, _again_.

"Just figured I'd ask." I could see that even though he sounded sad, he was relieved that I didn't want to stick around.

I didn't bother to say goodbye to them as I turned my back and headed towards the woods to phase back. When I did, I was stunned to hear the praise from the others about how well I had done.

_Good talk. I thought for sure you were going to go for his throat,_ Quil nodded. _I sure wanted to._

_Yeah. It wasn't easy. The entire time I was talking to him, I was fantasizing about tearing his arms off of his body,_ I admitted with a grin.

_That would have been fun to see,_ Embry laughed.

_Let's just run the border one more time. Then we'll head back to the Cullen's like Jacob asked us to,_ I suggested.

It didn't take us long to sweep the land. Less than half an hour later, we were heading back to the mansion.

_You think Sam will agree to fight, too_? Seth questioned.

_Probably._ Sam had never been one to ignore danger.

_You really did a good job talking to Paul. I'm proud that you were able to maintain your composure._

_Thanks. It wasn't easy,_ I laughed. _In fact, I would rather fight a hundred vampires than to talk to him again._

_At least the hard part's over,_ Seth said.

But he was wrong. The hard part was just getting started.


	38. Geeze, even I feel bad for the leeches

_I'm alive, but I'm losing all my drive  
_

_Cause everything we've been through  
_

_And everything about you  
_

_Seemed to be a lie  
_

_A guiltless twisted lie  
_

_It made me learn to hate you  
_

_Or hate myself for letting it pass by_

_"Goodbye"_

_-Secondhand Serenade_

* * *

**Chapter 38:**

**Geeze, even I feel bad for the leeches**

We spent most of the night outside of the Cullen's place. Here we were, being _guard_ dogs again. Only this time, I wasn't so bitter about it. I had come a long way in the last few months.

The night was uneventful. Alice and Jasper never came back. Occasionally, I would look inside the window and see Jacob staring helplessly at Nessie. The vampires seemed to get edgier as the night wore on. Esme held on to Carlisle affectionately. There was a certain sadness in her eyes. Edward looked desolate and inconsolable. Bella looked like she was barely holding it together. Even Emmett was forlorn and quiet. It was weird to hear him _not_ talking. They said more with their quiet silence than with their heartbroken words.

Around three in the morning, Jacob had phased back to talk to Sam himself. He stayed in the comfort of the Cullen's place as he conferred with Sam about what he wanted to do in this situation. Sam told Jacob they would fight, too. And they were running the perimeters through La Push, just to be certain.

Embry and Seth took turns running the perimeters on the Cullen's property, making sure that no other little stray vampires were lurking about. Quil and I stayed at the house, being guard dogs. I lost all track of time as I let my feet collapse beneath me. I let out a huff if air as I watched the sun coming up over the trees.

Jacob was snoring from inside the house. He still didn't want to leave Nessie. I was actually surprised that the vampires were ok with him crashing there as a wolf, but they didn't seem at all uncomfortable with the idea. Then again, they did have other things on their minds.

I tried to tune out Jacob's dreams. There were flashes of horrible things that kept going through his mind. He pictured the Volturi hurting Nessie. Even _I_ cringed at that. Even though she was a genetic mutant, she was still just a kid.

I heard Emmett mumbling inside, "Where _is_ she?" The worry poured out of him. He had to be talking about Alice. I could hear that they were concerned about her well-being. Hell, even _I_ was beginning to worry that something had happened to her. I heard Emmett pacing around the floor. He suddenly stopped and let out a growl. "Son of bitch. If they hurt her, I'm going to rip their god damn skulls out of their worthless little heads." He was speaking, of course, of the Volturi.

"You don't think…" Edward asked Carlisle softly. "Would she have been able to see if they were coming for her?"

"Shit," Emmett grumbled. He slammed his fist against the wall. I saw the house tremble from Emmett's anger. Looks like I wasn't the only one who punched holes in walls.

_I'm right there with you, man._ I agreed with Emmett's anger.

Jacob leaped to his feet, startled from the rumbling. He let out a loud growl.

_What's going on? What is it?_ He glanced around the house nervously.

_They're concerned about the Volturi possibly attacking Alice._ I felt a growl escape my lips as I mentioned the Volturi. I'd never even met them and they were already pissing me off.

"Stay with Renesmee!" I saw Bella tear out the front door.

_Whoa, that bitch is __fast_. I watched her disappear into the trees. The rest of her family was behind her. I looked inside and saw Jacob standing protectively in front of Nessie.

_What do you want us to do, Jake?_ Quil questioned.

_Leah, you're the fastest. Catch up with them so I can see what's going on,_ Jacob ordered. Well, _technically_ I wasn't the fastest. Embry was. He'd always followed my lead to make me happy though. And now was not the time to get into the logistics of it. _I want everyone else here, just in case_…

_I'm on it._ I was easily able to pick up the Cullen's scent. It didn't take me long to catch up with them. They had followed Alice's scent to the Quileute border, just as we had hours ago. I stayed in the trees as the Cullens slowed their pace.

There was a breeze that brought in Sam's scent. I looked over and was stunned to see him walking towards the Cullens in his human form. My jaw dropped. What the hell was he doing? Paul and Jared were behind him on all fours.

I watched intensely. Every ounce of my being was telling me to jump in front of the vampires to protect them. It felt so _wrong_, yet so right at the same time.

_Just stay put, Leah,_ Jacob said quietly in my head.

I listened to Jacob and watched the scene play out. Sam explained to the Cullens that Alice and Jasper had come here a little after midnight and asked for permission to cross the line. I glanced at Paul. _That's_ what they had been hiding from me when I was here earlier. But why wouldn't he tell me, even after I specifically asked if they had seen Alice and Jasper? Paul was such an ass.

_No argument here,_ Embry agreed with me.

Sam continued his explanation, "Alice told me it was of the utmost importance that I tell no one she came to me until you came looking."

I saw Esme's face cringe with pain when Sam explained that Alice and Jasper had disappeared across the ocean. Vampire or not, to have your kids run away has to suck.

Sam handed Carlisle a piece of paper. I could see Sam shaking because he was so close to the vampire.

_Pussy,_ I mumbled to myself. Out of all of the vampires, Carlisle was the _least_ intimidating.

"Alice has decided to leave us." Carlisle read the note.

I saw Esme's face get even _more_ pained. It was really sad.

Rosalie managed to stutter out, "What?"

Carlisle silently let his family read the note from Alice. I watched each and every one of their stone faces scrunch up in agony. Wow, I guess emotional pain hurt vampires as much as it hurt humans. I watched as the Cullens let the news sink in. Bella put her hand comfortingly on Esme's arm. Rosalie leaned into Emmett and let out a sigh. I was taken aback. I had _never_ seen Blondie look so-_sad_. I was used to the angry Rosalie. The sad Rosalie scared me a hell of a lot more than the angry one. Carlisle and Edward seemed to be having a silent conversation with each other. Bella's eyes darted around curiously. They all seemed to be in utter shock.

_Dude, that's harsh_, Quil sighed.

_That doesn't make any sense. Alice wouldn't abandon her family._ Seth shook his head in disbelief.

_Be quiet, I'm trying to listen to them._ I tried to shut the voices in my head up.

Sam seemed to be thinking the same thing that my pack was thinking. He looked at Edward as if he was asking, _Really_?

"Yes, things are _that_ dangerous," Edward replied to Sam's silent question.

I saw Sam's facial expression change. He looked almost saddened that the vampires were hurting.

"So much so that she would abandon her family?"

Edward was quick to defend his sister. "We don't know what she saw. She has a plan, I'm sure. Alice is anything _but_ a coward."

"We don't run from danger," Sam said proudly.

_You just scream like a little girl and hide until it's all over,_ I mumbled. I recalled an incident when Sam and I had been dating when he came across a spider, and cried for me to kill it.

I saw Edward's face barely twinge up in a slight smile that only I would have recognized. He could hear me. He faced Sam again, this time more aggressive than the last.

"_We_ still have our free will to leave when we wish."

I could see that pissed Sam off. He had to work hard to get control of his temper.

_Damn, nice one, leech._ Jacob echoed the thought in my head.

_Yeah, didja see that? Sam almost lost it._ Quil was likewise impressed.

Edward sighed. He regretted losing his temper with Sam. It was understandable. This was a lot to take in. Still, I didn't like sympathizing with the mind-reader. I watched as Edward warned Sam that maybe his pack should stay out of this entire mess.

_The hell with that. We need all the help we can get_. I might have mixed feelings regarding Sam, but I wasn't going to deny that we were in _way_ over our heads here. It would be beneficial to have his pack on our side when those crazy vampires came to town.

"Like I said, we don't run away," Sam repeated himself. Paul let out something that sounded like a cackle from behind Sam.

_Hey mindfreak, punch Paul for me,_ I suggested.

Again, I saw Edward's lips turn upward near a smile. This mind-reading thing wasn't so bad after all. Maybe Edward could just read the Volturi's mind and we could coordinate an attack that way.

Carlisle stepped in front of Edward and looked at Sam sincerely. "Don't be ridiculous. Don't get your family slaughtered for pride."

Sam faced Carlisle with less hate than he had had for Edward. Carlisle _was_ hard to hate, even if you're a werewolf.

"As your son so graciously pointed out, we don't exactly have a choice in the matter." He sneered at Edward, and then continued, "Renesmee is part of our family now, whether we like it or not. Jacob can not, and will not, abandon her. And we will not abandon him." I saw him glance at the note that Alice had left and roll his eyes.

He was really begging for one of the vampires to punch him. I frowned. There were times that _I_ would have liked to punch him…instead of my walls.

Edward defended Alice again. "You don't know her." Translation: _Don't judge us, you jackass._

Sam continued being harsh. "Do _you_?"

Edward looked like he was about ready to pounce on Sam. Carlisle's hand came down gently on his son's shoulder and he softly told Edward that they needed to trust Alice.

Just the mention of her name sent Esme into near hysterics. It saddened me to watch her break down. Rosalie was the one to comfort her now. Watching this made me consider that maybe I had misjudged the Cullens. They _obviously_ cared a great deal about one another. And seeing Esme this desolate over the loss of Alice and Jasper made me want to run down there and hug her.

I had seen this scene once before. It was after my father died. My mom was trying so hard to be brave for me and Seth. She made it all the way home from the hospital, and was half-way across our front lawn when she finally gave in to her grief. Seth had rushed over to her to pick her up off the ground, while all I could do was stare in shock. After my brain finally kicked on, I was able to go over and help my brother steady my mom. That was probably the worst night of my life. It even beat out Sam leaving me.

Listening to Esme's tearless sobs of pain reminded me of my mother's cries of grief. I watched as Rosalie and Emmett did for Esme what Seth and I had done for my mother that night. I swallowed a knot in my throat.

_Tell Edward to give her a hug for me, please._ Seth was sharing the same memory with me of our mother, screaming out for my dad through all the weeping. I shivered again at the memory.

I didn't have to tell Edward to do anything, because it only took him half a second to embrace his mother.

_Poor Esme,_ Jacob huffed.

My attention was drawn away from Esme as Sam let out a heavy sigh.

"I'm sorry." And he sounded sincere when he said it. "This is partly our fault." He watched Esme crying. "We shouldn't have let her through."

But Carlisle, being _Carlisle_, assured him there was nothing he did wrong. He was certain that his daughter had a plan. They really were putting a lot of faith in someone who was no longer around. I hoped they knew what they were doing.

Sam and his pack turned to leave, and the Cullens did the same. But when they got to the trees, they paused. No one seemed to know what to say.

Emmett was the first to speak, determined as always.

"I'm sure as hell not going down without a fight," he grumbled. "Let's just do what Alice wants us to do. I trust her. Let's get to work."

Emmett certainly knew how to rile his family up. For a moment, I saw everyone perk up, certain that maybe, _just maybe_, they would get out of this. But that didn't last long once they realized that for Alice to flee, the future she saw _couldn't_ have been good.

_Alright Leah, I've seen enough. You can come back,_ Jacob sighed. He phased back. Nessie must have been awake.

I took one last look at Sam from across the clearing before I took off towards the Cullen's place again. I saw Bella and Edward break away from the rest of them. So, they were _all_ running away now?

I kept my critical thoughts to myself and tried to remember Esme's pained face so I wouldn't say something stupid and make her cry again.

It didn't take us long to get back. Quil, Embry, and Seth met us with sad eyes. Seth lowered his head and walked towards Esme with a whimper. The look he conveyed was the universal "I'm sorry" glare.

"Thank you, Seth," she said breathlessly.

"Come on, dear. We have a lot to get done." Carlisle took Esme and led her into the house. Emmett and Rosalie followed. I peered through the window and watched them dash around the house. They apparently had a plan. Jacob sat in the corner with Nessie, cradling her. Both of them watched the Cullens in curiosity.

I saw a globe appear on the coffee table and Carlisle started to pinpoint locations on it while everyone else watched understandingly.

_Great. I __failed__ Geography,_ Embry frowned.

_I don't think we're the ones who need to know it_. I could see Carlisle's plan coming into action. It sounded like they were going to round up every last vampire friend they had. Normally, that would have made me incredibly irritable. But with the Volturi on their way, we were going to have to take what we could get. If that meant we had to fight side by side with a dozen different vampires, then so be it.

Carlisle disappeared for a moment while his family spoke softly about where they would be traveling to. I could hear Carlisle on the phone, but he was talking so fast, I couldn't understand him.

Bella and Edward came flying through the door a few seconds after Carlisle reappeared in the living room. Bella looked incredibly confused, which was pretty much normal for her.

Edward frowned, "You're leaving _now_?" He paused and read his father's thoughts. "And we're staying here with Renesmee?" He looked a little surprised by Carlisle's plan. He looked irritated.

"You have the best chance at reading how people are going to react to Nessie," Carlisle explained to Edward. "Alice was right. In order for people to see that she is not an immortal child, they really have to _see_ her." He paused. "Tanya's family is on the way."

Great, another family of vampires. I had heard Carlisle talking about his friends in Denali. Irina had belonged with them before she ran off and became a tattle-tale to the Volturi. _Wah, wah. My boyfriend got eaten by wolves. _Stupid whiny vampire. And the Cullens considered her a _friend_?

And now apparently the rest of her family was coming here. _Fantastic_. It took me _years_ to warm up to the Cullens, and even that relationship was still luke-warm. Now I had to deal with _more_ bloodsuckers? I grumbled. I knew this was coming, but it still angered me.

Edward still seemed weary. "There's a lot of ground to cover."

"Not to worry, my brother." Emmett smacked Edward on the back. "We're splitting up. Rose and I are going hunting for Nomads."

Edward still didn't look convinced of this plan.

Rosalie chimed in, "As soon as they meet Nessie, I'm sure they'll stay to witness for us."

Carlisle explained that Edward's job would be to persuade the vampires that they sent to _see_ for themselves about Nessie, and then see if they would stay to witness for them once the Volturi showed up.

"Everything will be fine, son." Carlisle put his hand on Edward's shoulder like I had seen him do in the clearing earlier. He took his hand off of Edward's shoulder and leaned in and kissed Bella on the forehead. Esme went for a big hug from the both of them. I even saw Rosalie smile at Bella. She glanced over to where Jacob and Nessie were sitting. Nessie looked at her curiously, and Rosalie blew her a kiss.

Jacob rolled his eyes at the gesture. Rosalie made sure that Nessie wasn't paying attention as she gave her own little _gesture_ to Jacob. It involved a certain finger.

_Does she __always__ have to be so rotten?_ Embry frowned.

Jacob didn't seem like he cared. He just shrugged at Rosalie nonchalantly.

"Don't worry, man. This will all blow over. And soon, Alice will be kicking your ass at chess again." Emmett punched Edward in the shoulder. He faced Bella and to my surprise, punched her, too. "And _you,_ little sister, just _try_ and stay out of trouble, will ya?"

"Well, without you around, that should be pretty easy to manage." Bella inferred that Emmett was the troublemaker of the group.

I couldn't help it as I lost it to my laughter. I think this is the first time that Bella had made me laugh _intentionally._

Esme and Carlisle were the first ones out the door. They both nodded politely at us.

"Thank you all again for your loyalty." Esme looked at each one of us.

_Take care._ Seth glanced into Carlisle's eyes. My brother was very good at conveying his emotions through his eyes. Carlisle nodded understandingly.

"You be careful, too," Carlisle suggested.

Emmett and Rosalie appeared behind Carlisle and Esme. Rosalie didn't even bother saying goodbye to us as she raced off into the woods.

_Some wife you got there._ Quil rolled his eyes. _If she were mine, I would kill her, stuff her, and mount her. She'd probably be more good than she is now._

It's a good thing Emmett couldn't understand what Quil was saying, because I don't think he'd take too kindly to a werewolf talking about his wife like that. Although, he _had_ let me get away with quite a lot of insults about her.

"Seth my man, keep it real, dawg." Emmett pat Seth's shoulder roughly.

_He only says the "dawg" part to annoy me_, Seth frowned. Then he bumped his head into Emmett affectionately. It was a little odd for me to see my brother showing love to a _vampire._

Emmett kept an eye on Rosalie as he faced Seth, Quil, and I.

"Take care of my idiot brother, would you?" He winked.

"I can _hear_ you, Emmett!" Edward exclaimed from inside the house.

"You can _always_ hear me." Emmett rolled his eyes.

"That's because you never shut up." Edward appeared in the doorway.

"Oh, how I'm going to miss these little things that get you all up in a tizzy." Emmett chuckled.

"Let's get moving, Emmett!" Rosalie called from the trees.

_Boy, she wears the pants in their marriage, doesn't she_? I laughed.

Edward laughed as well. "Indeed she does." He answered me out loud. Emmett looked suspicious, and incredibly confused, so Edward explained it to him, "Oh, Leah thinks you're _whipped_." He paused. "And just for the record, so do I."

"_I'm_ not the one who let my wife boss me around the entire time she was pregnant." Emmett joked back. Ouch. Good one. I was starting to understand the male psyche better. Apparently, the way they showed love for one another was to constantly antagonize the hell out of each other.

"Emmett! Now!" Rosalie was getting impatient.

Emmett faced me and waved. "See ya, Lassie." He chuckled.

_Later, Flea._ I couldn't help but laugh.

"She called you a flea again." Edward smirked as he disappeared into the house again.

I watched the Cullens disappear together into the woods. And for the first time _ever_, I was actually _concerned_ about their safety.


	39. At least things can't get any worse

_These back steps are steeper to the ground_

_The brightest stars are falling down_

_I'm walking the edge, walking the tightest rope_

_We can be frank, reality rips on through, rolling like a hurricane_

_I'm over the bridge and under the rain_

_If everything's falling, if everything's changed_

_If I'm in the open, if I'm in the way_

_"Crashing Down"_

_-Mat Kearney_

* * *

**Chapter 39:**

**At least things can't get any worse...**

It was very melancholy outside of the Cullen's house. With just Edward, Jacob, and Bella chatting inside, the mansion was more quiet than usual. They were taking turns cradling Nessie, who knew _exactly_ what was going on. Jacob had assured her that everything was going to be okay.

_Poor Nessie,_ Seth sighed. _She thinks it's her fault._

Technically, it _was_ her fault. But I wasn't going to say that out loud. It's not like she _asked_ to be born into her dysfunctional family.

_You think we'll make it out of this alive_? Embry questioned.

_Hard to say,_ I shrugged. Of course we weren't. I might not trust Alice as much as the others, but I knew enough to know that if she was running away, this was _not_ going to go well.

_You __don't__ think we'll survive, do you_? Embry frowned.

I sighed and then shook my head. _I wish I could be more optimistic, but I mean, look at what we're going to be faced with. Alice left…_

_Just because Alice took off doesn't mean she isn't working on some kind of plan,_ Seth piped in.

_And what would that plan be, Seth_? I grumbled. _Leave her family completely clueless?_

Quil forced out a hard laugh, _They're vampires. They were __already__ clueless._

_Clueless or not, we're in this __with__ them,_ I reminded Quil. _Which is just going to rack up the body count._

_So then, you're pretty sure we won't live_? Embry questioned.

I just nodded. But just because I believed that, it didn't mean I was going to fight with less enthusiasm. Maybe I would get lucky and take a few of the leeches out with me when I died.

_I'd say it's a strong possibility that we could bite the dust._

_How'd you like to make a little wager on that_? He seemed rather enthusiastic about betting on the outcome of this fight.

_Uh, sure._ I knew that I would probably win it anyway, so I wasn't worried about having to pay up in the event that Embry might be right.

_Okay. If we survive, you have to go cliff-diving with me_.

Well, that was _brilliant_. Go from one deadly situation to another. I might as well just jump off of the cliff now to save myself the trouble. It was an odd request to say the least.

_Why? What's the catch?_

_No catch,_ Embry said. _It's just something that I know you would enjoy_.

Actually, I'd always found the premise of cliff-diving to be stupid and reckless. I had never partaken in the idiotic ritual. And it's not something that I ever _cared_ to do. Why would Embry think that I would _like_ it?

_We might __die__ in battle in a few weeks, and the best wager you can come up with is __cliff-diving__!_ I was curious. _Come on, I mean, at least make me run around the neighborhood in my underwear or something. __That's__ a bet._

_You would probably do that without someone having to dare you,_ Seth mumbled under his breath.

Well, Seth had a point. I spent most of my time running around in _less_ than my underwear.

_You don't have to understand it. Either you'll do it, or you won't,_ Embry shrugged.

I looked at him curiously. _What_ was he planning? I tried to read deeper into his thoughts, but there was nothing out of the ordinary on his mind, except for some weird reason, a Bette Midler song…

I laughed. Bette Midler? Seriously? Well, I couldn't say much, _I_ was dating the Midler fan.

_Okay, _I paused, _But if we die, you'll have to listen to me tell you "I told you so" for eternity,_ I joked.

_Fair enough._

_I'm totally gonna win that bet,_ I grinned slyly.

_Dream on._ Embry seemed confident that we would survive. Truthfully, I wish I could have the positive outlook on this situation that he had.

We teased each other for a few more minutes.

We were interrupted when something in the atmosphere changed. We immediately turned our attention to the fact that Jake was a wolf now. He was pacing around from inside the mansion,

_Hey, look who's decided to rejoin our ranks._ Quil called attention to the fact that Jake had phased. _Who let the dogs out?_

_Yeah, because that was so __hilarious__ the first two thousand times I heard it._ Jacob rolled his eyes.

_What's going on?_ I questioned. _Is there something wrong_?

_Everything okay in there?_ Quil added to my insecurity.

_Everything's fine. I just figured I'd let you know what's going on_, Jacob explained.

_Let me catch you up to speed: We're screwed. The end,_ I interrupted him.

Jacob ignored me, _They're_ _taking Nessie home to get a good night's sleep._

_Oh yeah, I forgot about their cottage, _Seth nodded.

I could hear him mentally kicking himself for not getting them a housewarming gift. I scoffed, what would you buy a _leech_ to put in their house? A lava-lamp filled with blood? I chuckled at my own thought. Edward and Bella would have to be complete _stoners_ to appreciate that kind of gift, "Oh, it's so...glowy...and it smells _so_ good..."

Jacob interrupted my thoughts, _I'm sure you're all pretty worn out. Why don't you just go home and get some rest?_ he suggested.

_You don't have to tell me twice._ Quil raced towards La Push. I could see thoughts of his nice comfortable bed in his mind. There was a picture of Claire playing on a swing set on his dresser.

Seth wasn't too far behind. _Take it easy, man. Howl if you need us._

_I'm fine. Not tired at all,_ I shrugged.

_Still, go home anyway. Being well-rested for what's to come is very important._ Jacob sounded unsure as he spoke. I had a feeling that he was trying to hide something from us.

Before I got a chance to ask him what was on his mind, I heard Nessie whimper from inside. Jacob immediately phased back, worried that something was wrong. I peered into the window and watched Jacob fly over to Nessie to comfort her. Apparently, she was upset over Alice's departure. She didn't understand any of this. I sighed. Though her age advancements put her mental capacity somewhere near, oh, _middle-aged_, she was still so little. I forgot how young she was sometimes. She didn't know how grim the future really was for all of us.

I watched Bella cradle her daughter. Bella didn't look like she was holding it together very well, but she was _trying_ not to show her emotions in front of Nessie. Edward and Jacob both told Nessie not to worry; that things would be okay, and that Alice would come back. Nessie wasn't stupid. She was going to see through that lie.

"In the mean-time, we've got a lot of visitors coming to see _you_." Edward smiled to try and hide his fear from his daughter. He was better at hiding his emotions than Bella.

_You coming, Leah?_ Embry asked, interrupting my train of thought.

Jacob had told us all to phase and go home. But me, being _me_, I didn't really want to listen to him. I wanted to stick around in case _drama_ ensued.

_I think I'm just going to hang out here for a little while._

_Jacob's gonna get mad that you didn't listen to him._ Seth was sure.

_So I'll let him yell at me. It's still better than watching Charlie and mom drooling all over one another._

I heard Seth moan. He wasn't looking forward to that either.

_You can come over to my house,_ Embry offered.

_Oh, I'm sure that will go over __really__ well with your mother. Aren't you already in enough trouble?_

_She can't tell me what to do,_ Embry shrugged.

I laughed. He sounded like a two-year-old.

_No, you go ahead. Your mother already thinks I'm a bad influence. Me staying the night in your room is only going to prove her right._ I shook my head.

Embry glanced at me suggestively, _Maybe I __want__ you to be a bad influence on me._

_Go home, loser,_ I laughed.

_Okay, but just know…the offer stands._ Embry started his run home.

It was just a short time later that I felt them phase out one by one. I wondered how long it would be before Jacob phased back and saw that I was still here. I could tell that Bella and Edward were getting ready to leave. Jacob leaned in towards Nessie, who was sound asleep in her mother's arms, and kissed her gently on the forehead.

"You don't have to stay, you know," Bella said.

"Are you kidding? I couldn't leave her if I tried." Jacob shook his head.

"I just feel bad that you never spend any time with your _own_ family anymore," Bella frowned.

"Paul and my sister are boinking, and my dad is eternally pissed that I imprinted on Nessie," Jacob said. "Trust me, spending time with the three of you is better than what I have waiting at home."

"We really do appreciate your loyalty," Edward nodded.

"Sure, sure." Jacob glanced at Nessie again. "I'm going to hang out on four legs for a while."

And two seconds later, he saw that I was still outside.

_What are you still doing here? I thought you'd be glad to get off of the Cullen's property for a while._ He was obviously puzzled.

_I still have a lot of energy left. I figured I would help you run for a little bit longer,_ I shrugged.

_You're so baffling sometimes, Leah._ He shook his head. He sighed, _Take the east._

I ran towards the east. I stayed quiet for most of the run. I watched through Jacob's eyes as Edward, Bella, and Nessie disappeared into their cottage. He ran a few miles out to give them their privacy, and then found a tree to rest under.

_Hey, Leah?_

_What?_

_Thank you._

_For what_? I wasn't sure what I had done to warrant any thanks.

_For everything, _Jacob said. _Considering you really don't like the Cullens, you sure are doing a hell of a lot to protect them._

_Eh,_ I shrugged. _They're not so bad. Besides, you love Nessie. I'm part of your pack, and like it or not, I've got to love her, too._

_Have you talked to Sam yet_? Jacob questioned. The sudden change in topic caught me off guard. I slowed my run to a trot.

_Don't really want to,_ I frowned.

_It's important that you do,_ Jacob sighed.

_Why? So I can torture myself? I don't get off on spending time with the person who hurt me the most. _I tried my hardest to not say "I'm not _you_…" I wasn't about to do what Jacob did for Bella when she was pregnant.

_Don't do it for yourself,_ Jacob suggested.

What did he mean? I tried to decipher his thoughts. They were all gibberish about Nessie.

_Why do you want me to do this so badly?_

_I just think you should. That's all I'm saying._ Jacob laid his head down.

I could feel how tired he was. And he probably wasn't in the mood to argue either, so I just told him what he wanted to hear.

_I'll think about it_.

_Good._ A few minutes later he drifted off to sleep. I still had the feeling he was keeping something from me. But I was too focused on running to worry about that now. I got back into a nice little rhythm as the hours passed.

The only thing I could think about was what Jacob had said before he drifted off to sleep. _Don't do it for yourself_. Why else would I talk to Sam? It didn't take me long to realize what he'd meant by that. I _did_ need to see Sam, but not to fulfill a need for myself. I had to talk to him so we could truly let each other go. I think we were both still holding on to one another, and that wasn't a healthy thing to do. We had other people in our lives depending on us. We had never sat down and discussed our situation, mostly because I was too hateful most of the time to listen to him. All I could see in him was the man who left me for my cousin. But now, maybe enough time had passed that I could see him without calling him a dickhead and throwing things at him.

I wrestled with my thoughts about going to see Sam all night, and decided that the next time I was back in La Push, I would go see him. I grunted. I _really_ didn't want to talk to him. Maybe I would just have to stay out here on the Cullen's land for the rest of my life.

Before I knew it, I felt Jacob being startled awake by Edward and Bella making their way back to the mansion.

_You been running all night_? Jake was impressed when he saw that I was still awake.

_Damn straight,_ I smiled. _I just hope that Seth told mom that I'm okay._

At the rate I was going, I could run for another two days. I still wasn't tired. There was too much going through my mind for me to want to sleep. Embry and his odd cliff-diving request. Jacob pleading with me to talk to Sam. The battle that was coming in which we were all going to get slaughtered…

Jacob saw Edward and Bella coming through the clearing. Bella was cuddling Nessie, as always.

_You've done enough. Go home._ Jacob stiffened up as he started to run with Edward and Bella.

The more he told me to do that, the less I actually wanted to do it. I just changed my direction and headed to the Cullen's place.

"Morning, Jake." Bella nodded politely at him.

_Hey Bells._ He nodded back to acknowledge her. _Eddie._ He chuckled under his breath. I laughed too.

"Do _not_ call me that." Edward curled up his lip.

Oh, sweet! This was something I could use to bother him. _Eddie, Eddie, Eddie._ _Eddie-bo-beddie, Eddie-spaghetti._

"Leah's still around?" Edward asked Jacob after hearing my thoughts.

Considering I had been running the property all night, I was surprised that Edward hadn't realized I was still here.

"She ran all night," Edward explained to Bella, who was looking at him in confusion.

_Stay inside your own mind, leech,_ I grumbled. It was incredibly intrusive of Edward to always be in my head. It was really annoying. He should knock first or something.

"Knock, knock," Edward said sarcastically.

Okay, I had to give him that one. That was funny.

"What if they smell her before reaching the house?" Bella started to panic about me being around for some reason. What if _who_ smelled me? This must be what Jacob had been keeping from me last night.

"Can't you tell her to leave?" Edward suggested.

_You can't __"tell"__ Leah what to do,_ Jacob responded to Edward in thought.

Well, you _could_. Didn't mean I would listen.

I guess that Jacob could see that I wasn't heading back to La Push. He was annoyed that I was running towards the mansion with them.

_Leah, I thought I told you to go home,_ he grumbled.

_You did._

_Then why are you __still__ here?_

I just shrugged, _I have no life_.

_So, you're just completely ignoring me now?_

I purposefully took a moment to pause before I responded, _Wait, what did you just say? I'm sorry, I wasn't listening._

_Hilarious._ He rolled his eyes.

_I thought so_.

_Well, if you insist on staying, then you should know that Tanya's family is almost here._ Ah ha, so the first of the vampire's little friends was arriving today. Jacob was probably worried about how I would react. I was going to show him that I could be an adult about this.

_Wonderful. I'll find a drifter to kill and we can all do lunch._ Okay, so much for me being mature.

Jacob rolled his eyes. _Just _k_eep a wide range from the house. I don't want them to catch your scent and run off._

_Are you calling me smelly_? I asked sarcastically. _Real mature, Mr. Alpha._

_You know what I mean._

_You could use a shower yourself, big boy._ After a minute, I became serious again. _I'll be good, Jake. I promise. Just don't make me go home._

_Why not_? He pressed for more information.

I just grunted. I didn't want to go into details. But, I knew that in order for me to move forward with Embry, I was going to have to bite the bullet and see Sam. There was a lot of stuff I still needed to say to him. "You broke my heart, you son of a bitch" came to mind.

_Just let me hang out for a little while longer,_ I begged.

Jacob glanced at Edward to see if it was okay. Psh, I didn't need the bloodsucker's permission.

"Fine," Edward nodded at Jacob. "But tell her to keep her distance."

_Already done,_ I slowed my pace. I was close enough to the house to see anything that was going on indoors, but far enough away that the vampires probably wouldn't smell me.

I kept quiet as I listened to Bella trying to convince Edward she could fight now. She wasn't some fragile little human anymore. But Edward wasn't having any of her crap today. He decided to be an overprotective jerk, like always.

Bella continued to nag him until he finally gave in, promising that he would teach her how to fight. He didn't seem happy about it. His unhappiness pleased me.

Edward went into detail about certain members of the Volturi. Guess he figured Bella should know more about them if she was going to fight.

He spoke about a creepy little vampire named Jane who could burn you where you stood. I saw Edward cringe when he mentioned her. I guessed that Jane had used her gift on him at some point in his life.

Then he talked about Jane's equally creepy other half, Alec. He was kind of an anesthesiologist, but not in the way that Jasper had been. Apparently, this Alec character made you feel nothing at all. That didn't seem so terrible. There were a few days when I wished I couldn't feel my feelings anymore. And, of course, I had been the reckless idiot who drank my sorrows away. I shook my head. I learned rather quickly that alcohol does _not_ help. One minute, you're searching for the answer to your problems at the bottom of a bottle of tequila, and the next, you're naked in a cornfield running from a maniac with a gun.

I perked up when I heard Edward mention that one of the vampires coming today had once been in line with the Volturi. Jacob growled when Edward mentioned it. I was surprised when Bella hissed in agreement with him.

Edward assured them both, "Eleazar is a very gentle person. He wasn't entirely happy with the Volturi, but he respected the law and its need to be upheld."

Okay, bored now. I yawned as Edward continued to talk about the Denali clan and Eleazar's involvement in the Volturi. As long as he wasn't _still_ involved with them, I didn't care.

A few minutes later, they were at the house. I watched them awkwardly try to figure out the easiest way to set things up. Jacob decided to phase and confront them as human. Bella disappeared into the dining room with Nessie. Jacob insisted that she hold Nessie in case he needed to phase in order to protect them. Nessie whimpered uncomfortably. She was worried they wouldn't like her.

I turned my attention to a screeching noise that I heard. I saw a car flying down the road. From the erratic way they were driving, I had to assume that it was the Denali clan. As the car pulled up the Cullen's driveway, I leaned forward to watch.

Things were about to get _really_ interesting.


	40. More vampires? I was wrong It's worse

_Show me where the sun comes through the sky_

_I'll show you where the rain gets in and I'll show you hurricanes_

_And the way that summer fades_

_Underneath the weight of it all_

_"Weight of it all"_

_-Matt Nathanson_

* * *

**Chapter 40:**

**More vampires? I was wrong. It's worse.**

Edward was at the door before they had a chance to knock. There were four of them.

The blonde seemed the most excited to see Edward. "Edward!"

I heard Edward rack off a list of their names. I think I caught them all. Eleazar was the dark haired male standing next to the dark haired female, Carmen. Both of them had a hint of olive to their complexion, which made it a little less clear that they were vampires. Kate was the peppy little blonde, enthralled to see Edward. And Tanya was the strawberry blonde who was calmly taking in the scenery.

Edward looked nervous as he waved them into the house.

"I knew the werewolves were involved." Tanya grumbled as she picked up on Jacob's scent.

_Bitch,_ I snarled softly. I knew I was far enough away from the house that they couldn't smell me. I took a few steps closer, because they knew we were involved now. It was only a matter of minutes before she saw Jake.

"Freaking dogs," Tanya muttered quietly, but not so quietly that I didn't hear it.

This self-righteous vampire was _already_ starting to get on my nerves. In fact, I would trade her for Rosalie any day. I shuddered a little at the thought. I never thought that I would want _Rosalie_ back.

Edward was quick to respond, "Yes, and the werewolves are on our side. _Again_." Ha, that shut her up. Damn, I didn't know the leech cared enough to defend us.

Edward explained to the four of them that his family was in danger. He pleaded with them to hear him out.

"We're listening," Tanya assured him.

Edward asked them to listen to what they heard in the other room. They all impatiently just ignored his request, and took a step towards where Bella, Jacob, and Nessie were hidden. Edward quickly jumped in their path.

"Listen first, please." Edward nodded at his friends.

Tanya mentioned that she could hear Jacob's heart. But when Edward asked her what else she could hear, she didn't seem as confident about Nessie's quick little heart rate. I held in laughter when Kate guessed that they had a bird in the kitchen. Yes, because owning a bird is something _every_ vampire wants to do. _Polly want some blood? Polly want some blood_?

"Bella, bring out Renesmee please?" Edward said nervously. Wow, I didn't know that vampires could _get_ nervous.

When Bella came in carrying Nessie, with Jacob hovering protectively over the two of them, I thought the vampires were going to drop dead from shock. Tanya stumbled back a few paces, while Kate took a more dramatic approach, leaping backwards to the front door, ready to bolt if necessary.

_Drama Queen._ I rolled my eyes.

Eleazar pushed Carmen behind him protectively, and let out a hiss. Wow, _really_? They were acting like Nessie was some kind of killer. It was actually kind of amusing. Four full-grown vampires, scared to death of a three-month-old baby.

_Take cover, for she might drool on you to death._ This was just too funny.

Carmen was the only one of the four who didn't look terrified beyond belief. She looked at Nessie curiously from behind Eleazar.

"You promised you would listen." Edward seemed disappointed. I wasn't at all surprised or disappointed by the foolish way they were behaving.

I saw Kate reach for the doorknob. She was hyperventilating. How was it possible for something that didn't _breathe_ to hyperventilate?

"She's not a full vampire child." Edward tried to calm the hysterical vampires. "She's half human. We are not her "creators" in that sense."

If he _had_ been her creator, he would be dead. The werewolves wouldn't have taken too kindly to a vampire transforming a human child into one of them. _That_ would have broken the treaty.

"She's my, well, biologically, I'm her father…" Edward stuttered out.

I felt the nerdy voice of my brother in the back of my head in a wheezing dark _Star Wars_ voice, _"I am your faaather…"_ Nessie was the vampire's own personal Luke Skywalker. God damn Seth for always bringing up Star Wars…

Eleazar had a puzzled look on his face. I could tell he didn't believe a word that Edward was saying.

"Bella is her biological mother," Edward continued.

"This is like some horrible soap opera plot," I heard Kate say softly.

That made me laugh. Kate was pretty nifty. Damn, had I just said _nifty_? _The 60's called, they want their lingo back_. I made fun of myself.

"Bella conceived, carried, and gave birth to Renesmee while she was still human."

_Ah man, don't remind me._ I grunted at the memory of Bella's hideous swollen belly.

Edward softly tried to point out the resemblance that Nessie had to the both of them. I rolled my eyes and mocked him, _Oh, she has Bella's __beautiful__ eyes. But she has __my__ perfect bone structure. We'll have to wait until she's a little older to see which one of our horrible personalities she has._

Carmen inched forward while the other three watched in shock. Nessie cooed happily in Bella's arms and then touched her face. I imagine she was asking permission to touch Carmen. She was a smart little thing. A few seconds later, Bella asked Nessie's question.

"Would you mind if she shows you something?" Bella questioned. "She has a gift for explaining things."

Carmen looked delighted. "Do you speak, little one?"

I laughed. Her GPA was higher than all four of them put together. The way Nessie was being spoken to must have been very condescending to her. If I were Nessie, I probably would have answered, "Why, of course you judgmental little cunt, I articulate my feelings quite well. Matter of fact, I can speak in five different languages; but no, sure, go ahead and talk to me like I'm an idiot."

Nessie was a lot kinder than I would have been as she just answered with a delicate, "Yes."

Insert "stunned" vampire faces here. The only one who didn't look even remotely shocked was Carmen. Hmm, maybe I had misjudged her. She nodded slightly to let Nessie know that it was ok for her to touch her face. Nessie placed her hands on Carmen's cheek. Eleazar overreacted to Carmen's tension when Nessie touched her, and he was by her side seconds later, ready to pull her away from Nessie's tiny, apparently _deadly_, hand. Carmen stopped him and listened to Nessie through her thoughts.

"She must have gained her gifted abilities from her talented father." Carmen smiled at Edward.

Oh sure, dote on him, because Edward's ego wasn't large enough already.

After seeing it in her thoughts, Carmen quickly convinced the other's that Edward was telling the truth. She even talked Eleazar into letting Nessie _explain_ to him. At first, he flinched away, bringing Kate and Tanya by his side defensively.

"Watch, please," Nessie said, impatiently. It was ironic that she was the only one in the room actually _acting_ like an adult.

A few minutes later, all of the vampires were relaxed after having been shown what I can only assume to be Nessie's life from the day she was born. I shivered at the notion that the kid _remembered_ her own birth. If Edward and Bella as parents weren't enough to screw her up, the fact that she actually recalled coming out of her mother was certainly enough to land her in therapy for _years_.

Tanya asked Edward for an explanation as to why his family was in danger.

Edward hesitated before responding, "Irina was mistaken when she went to the guard."

"Irina?" Kate growled. She let out a hiss, and then a sigh of disappointment in her sister. "She did this to you? To Carlisle? After everything he's done?"

Tanya wasn't as quick to judge as Kate had been. She automatically tried to blame someone else in defense of her sister. But Edward explained that Alice had seen _Irina_ in her vision, going to the Volturi. I saw Edward flinch when he mentioned his sister's name.

Kate, Tanya, Eleazar, and Carmen all apologized profusely for Irina's overreaction.

"There's nothing that can be done about Irina's misconception. She's already spoken to the guard. Alice gave us a month."

The other vampires looked stunned that it was going to take them so long to get here.

"A month?" Kate questioned.

Edward nodded.

"So long?" Eleazar asked.

"They're _all_ coming. Not just the guard," Edward explained. "Aro, Caius, Marcus. Even the wives."

"Impossible," Eleazar gasped. Apparently the wives didn't get out much.

Edward explained that all hope was not lost. He told them that Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie were looking for others to help them.

Tanya spoke realistically, "It doesn't matter how many people you gather, Edward. All that we can do is _die_ with you."

Ha! It's too bad Embry wasn't a wolf right now. I owed him an "I told you so."

"We certainly won't stand by and let you get slaughtered for _nothing_," Kate frowned. I could tell that she _thoroughly_ disapproved of her sister's impulsive reaction.

"If we could just get enough witnesses to make them pause, if only for _one_ second, we could state our case," Edward sighed. "It's too bad that Irina came when she did. If she had only come later, maybe this whole mess could have been avoided."

Yeah, somehow I doubted that. I watched as Eleazar paced the floor. It was obvious that he was thinking about the Volturi's motives. It was just a hunch, but something told me that even if the Volturi stopped long enough to hear that Nessie _wasn't_ an immortal child, they would still destroy us all. Stupid dictators.

Even though this was obviously a suicide mission, Carmen quickly volunteered her family to stay to witness Renesmee's development in the next month, so when the Volturi came, they could state their case to them.

Tanya quietly agreed to stay to witness for the Cullens. Even though she didn't say anything aloud, I could tell she had the same opinions of the Volturi that I did. They were coming to kill the Cullens. And that meant a fight no matter what.

Great, looks like this town had just gained four new residents. I wonder how Sam's pack would react.

Tanya assured Edward they weren't alone in this.

"If it does come down to a fight, we can not idly stand by. Of course, I can only speak for myself…"

Kate quickly piped in, "You really doubt me _that_ much?"

I heard Tanya mention something about the fact that they were sure to get killed. Kate didn't seem that concerned about it.

"Count me in," she said, as if it were as simple as that. She had a sassy "bring 'em on" look in her eyes.

Carmen agreed that she would, likewise, die in battle. God, we were _all_ going to die.

_We are so stupid._ I shook my head.

I perked back up when I heard Tanya ask about the wolves. I looked at Jacob, curious as to what he was going to say. Would he be able to maintain his composure around the new vampires? I saw that he was watching Carmen like a hawk. She was cuddling Nessie. He never took his eyes off of Nessie as he responded to Tanya.

"We're here to kick a little Volturi ass," Jacob smirked. "If they won't listen to us about Nessie, I mean, _Renesmee_…" Had he _cringed_ saying her full name? I lost it to my laughter. "We're going to stop them."

Tanya didn't look convinced. Obviously she didn't know what werewolves were capable of. She called Jacob a child and then insinuated that he didn't know who he was dealing with. Well, that was true, but we were certainly someone they _needed_ in this battle.

"You don't know what we can do," Jacob said proudly.

_I just said that! Get outta my head!_ I exclaimed jokingly.

Tanya respected Jacob's choice to fight. She and Kate both noticed his attachment to Nessie. He hadn't taken her eyes off of her. They watched him curiously, uncertain what to think in this situation.

"Yes, they are a very talented family," Eleazar spoke. "A mind reader for a father, a shield for a mother, and then whatever magic this extraordinary child has bewitched us with."

Geeze, he made them sound like a circus sideshow. I chuckled a bit to myself. _Bella, Edward, and Nessie Cullen Incorporated: we do birthday parties and Bah Mitzvahs._

I was so caught up in my own amusement that I hadn't realized that Eleazar had just classified Bella as having a talent. She had a talent to annoy the shit out of me, did that count?

I listened as he explained about these vampires called "shields" that could protect themselves against _other_ vampires with talents. Eleazar explained a little more about shields and what they could do.

Bella looked confused. She said that people could manipulate her physical state, like Jasper controlling her emotions, but no one had been able to mess with her mind. I snorted. That's because she didn't have a _mind_ for anyone to mess with.

"It's completely mental," Eleazar nodded. Ha, _she's_ completely mental.

Bella went on about how none of the vampires, aside from Alice and Jasper, had been able to use their abilities on her.

"Mama, you're special," Nessie beamed.

Ha, Bella was _special_ alright. But not in a good way. I'm glad I had stayed to watch this. I was having a blast making fun of Bella without having Jacob or Edward telling me to shut up every two seconds.

"I wonder…" Kate looked curiously at Bella. "Can you project?"

"I…I don't know. I never tried," Bella said.

Kate explained that she might not be able to. "Heaven knows I've been working on projecting my current for centuries."

Wow, how old _were_ these vampires?

Edward explained that Kate could shock people, like Jane. Bella cowered, and I laughed. Wimp. Kate explained that she was different than Jane. Apparently she didn't use her power to torture people.

_Aw, why not_? I wondered. That would be a cool little power to have. If I had that ability, anyone unlucky enough to piss me off would get the hell shocked out of them. Maybe I would throw a fork or something in their hand to make the electricity travel better, _Here, can you hold this piece of metal for a second? I'm going to electrocute you._ That would be fun.

I watched as Kate and Bella discussed the possibility that if they could teach Bella how to project her shield, they might have a shot against the Volturi. I was more intrigued by some quiet conversation going on between Edward and Eleazar. Jacob was watching them curiously, too. A few moments later, they explained what they were talking about. I got kind of bored as they started to talk about how the Volturi killed families of vampires, and blah, blah, blah.

I watched all the vampires dance around the house, chatting away, and discussing strategies. Jacob had floated over towards where Carmen was holding Nessie. Eleazar placed his hand on Carmen's arm affectionately and she brought her free hand up to his arm and smiled at him.

Watching Carmen holding on to Eleazar lovingly, I had a sudden, painful memory flash into my thoughts. I swallowed a knot in my throat as I gave in to the thought and let it flood my mind.

The way that Carmen was looking at Eleazar is the same way that I used to look at Sam. I remembered our last day together. How I had squeezed his arm with affection. I think on some level, I knew that he was going to break my heart that day. But that didn't stop me from hoping for a different outcome as I held on to him for dear life.

I could recall how the look in his eyes was cold and sad. The way that Eleazar looked at Carmen is _not_ the same way that Sam had looked at me. I could see that Eleazar _loved_ Carmen back.

I was brought back into reality as a scent blew into my nose. More vampires. Damn, the Cullens worked fast. I saw another car pull into the driveway. I shook my head. I'd stuck around long enough.

But even though I didn't want to stay here with the crowds of vampires, I was having a hard time pushing myself back to La Push. Oddly enough, instead of feeling aggravated that there were more vampires in town, I was feeling saddened. There was a lot more weighing on my mind than the Volturi coming to town. And there was only one way to clear my head.

I had to talk to Sam.


	41. Crap, I suck at thinking on my feet

_The fruits of love grow all around_

_But for me they come a tumblin' down  
_

_Every day heartaches grow a little stronger  
_

_I can't stand this pain much longer  
_

_I walk in shadows, searching for light  
_

_Cold and alone, no comfort in sight  
_

_Hoping and praying for someone to care  
_

_Always moving and going nowhere  
_

_What becomes of the broken hearted?  
_

_Who had love that's now departed?_

_I know I've got to find_

_Some kind of peace of mind_

_Maybe_

_"What becomes of the brokenhearted"_

_-Jimmy Ruffin_

* * *

**Chapter 41:**

**Crap, I suck at thinking on my feet**

The first thing I did when I got home was take a shower. I still needed some time to process all of this information. As I finished towel drying my hair, I slipped into the kitchen to grab a bite to eat. Now that I had thought about it, I don't think I'd eaten anything in the past 24 hours. I was _starved_. I threw some meatloaf that I'd found in the fridge into the microwave and then started to scarf it down.

Seth wandered into the kitchen and waved happily at me. How did he manage to be so cheerful all of the damn time? There were times I wondered if he was a pod-person. We just didn't act like we had been born into the same family. I used to make him mad when we were little by telling him that he was adopted. He usually just stuck his tongue out at me and told me that I was just jealous because mom and dad loved him more. Sometimes I thought that was true.

"Everything going okay at the Cullen's?" Seth grabbed a Root Beer from the refrigerator.

"Like a dream," I said sarcastically. "Apparently the Cullens are sending every vampire they've ever met here to town."

"Yeah, Sam told us this morning. Jacob asked him to tell us about it. We figured you already knew since you stayed out as a wolf." I saw him raise his eyebrows in curiosity. "Is it really true they're staying at the mansion? That's just _really_ close to La Push…"

"Yep. The first batch arrived earlier today. I think you met them at the wedding. The Denali clan."

"The ones from Alaska?" Seth recalled the wedding. I took a moment to think about how long ago that had been. Time had really flown by.

"They're one big happy family." I rolled my eyes. "Eleazar seems a lot like Edward." I frowned at having another overprotective, cautious vampire in town. "Tanya's a little snotty, but since she's going to stay and help out, I can look past that. I don't know about Carmen yet. She doesn't seem like she's afraid of much. And, I quite like Kate. She's got balls. She used her electrical current to shock Bella, or at least tried to." I paused, and then laughed jokingly. "Maybe I should ask her to be my new best friend." I took a big bite of the meatloaf.

Seth glanced at my plate and curled up his nose. "You do realize that that's two weeks old?"

That sounded weird coming from him.

"Seth, we eat _raw_ meat half the time." I pointed out the fact that when we were wolves, we didn't have the luxury of a stove or a microwave to warm up our dead deer.

"True, but when we're wolves, we don't go back to a carcass two weeks later and start munching on the maggots crawling on the remains." _Only_ Seth and I could have this conversation without throwing up all over the place. Any regular person would have vomited at the word "maggot". "You could get like…botulism or something."

I just shrugged. It tasted fine. And if I was poisoned by the meat, it wouldn't matter since we were facing a battle in a few weeks.

"We're going to die anyway."

"You might wanna keep all that talk down. We've got company." He glanced into the living room. He explained, "Charlie, Billy, and mom are watching a movie."

"What kind of movie?"

"Some really crappy suspense one. It's the only one they could all agree on. Billy wanted an action flick, but Charlie wanted something funny. Mom suggested a romantic comedy, but that idea was shot down pretty quickly by both guys."

I snorted out a laugh as I thought about the looks on both Charlie's and Billy's faces when my mother had suggested that they watch _Love, Actually_ or some other movie oozing with relationships and love.

"So I take it that everyone is back on speaking terms?" I glanced into the living room where the adults were laughing and chatting happily.

"For the time being," Seth nodded. He noticed my change in attire. "Where are you heading?"

"I just have some business to take care of."

He scoffed, "_Business_? What are you, in the mafia now?"

I gave him a wink and then a serious face. "Just don't piss me off, and you've got nothing to worry about."

"Well then, I'm screwed," Seth joked. "Is there a day that goes by that I _don't_ make you angry?"

"There was one day. It was a Saturday in June." I grinned as I finished my meatloaf.

Seth walked out of the kitchen around the same time that my mother walked in. Her face lit up when she saw me. I guess I really hadn't been around much lately.

She grabbed a bag of popcorn and opened the microwave. I stayed quiet as I washed the container that my _bad_ meat had been in.

"When did you get in?" she questioned.

"Oh, about half past _insanity_." I really wasn't certain what time I had actually gotten in. I went straight to the bathroom and jumped into the shower. "I'm surprised that you didn't hear me screaming obscenities at the cold water."

"Oh, well, before Billy got here, Charlie and I were…" She stopped her statement mid-sentence and then had a look of embarrassment on her face.

You didn't have to be a genius to figure out where she was going with that sentence. I cringed up my nose a little at the thought.

"You two were "playing board games" again, huh?" I smirked a little.

"Actually, we were mostly talking."

Okay, so Charlie was chatty during sex. Something _else_ I could have gone my entire life without knowing. I swear, I knew more about Charlie now than his _own_ daughter.

"Thanks for the visual." I nearly threw up the meatloaf I had just inhaled.

My mom rolled her eyes at my dramatics. "He got a call from Bella early this morning that upset him."

"Talking to Bella would upset me, too," I shrugged.

"He was supposed to go see Bella and Nessie today, but she canceled on him with no excuse." She looked at me carefully. She was probably trying to read my body language to see what was going on. "Any idea why that is?"

"Because she's a flake?" That's not something that I had to come up with, because it was true.

"She told him that it might be a while before he could come over again."

"I don't know what to tell you." I really didn't. She'd flip her shit if she knew the reason that Bella didn't want her dad over at the mansion. Bella may be a moron, but the move was incredibly smart on her part. Sticking Charlie in a house full of hungry vampires wasn't exactly smart, _Hey guys, this is my dad. Dad, meet the monsters. Hey, you with the crazy eyes, stop chewing on my father's arm…_

"Well, if you see her, tell her that her father is upset by her actions," she frowned.

Yeah, like that would matter to her. Like she would give a rats ass. Bella had _never_ considered her father's feelings, why would she start now?

"Sure thing." I lied. No way I would be chatty with Bella.

My mom looked at me cautiously again. I tried to fake a smile. I didn't want her to worry about the impending doom that her children were facing. I guess Bella and I _were_ in the same boat there. We both wanted to protect our parents. I glanced into the living room and saw Charlie mindlessly watching a fight scene in the movie. He scooped the last handful of what I had to assume to be the first bag of popcorn into his mouth.

I sighed. At least they had each other. When all was said and done, when all of us were torn to pieces by the Volturi, I could die knowing that my mother and Charlie wouldn't be alone.

But I hated that we were going to put them through this. We were going to hurt them so much. My mom had already been through so much. And Seth and I were only going to cause her more grief. It made me really angry. I could feel my hands vibrating and I tried to suppress the anger. I had to play it cool, so my mother wouldn't suspect anything. I should have known that she would see right through my façade.

"You sure everything is okay?" she questioned. "You and your brother are acting odd."

"We're _your_ kids." I teased her a little. "I thought you'd be concerned if we were acting _normal_."

She didn't laugh. "You know you two can talk to me about anything."

Yeah, and that was the problem. Our entire lives, my brother and I had never had an issue that we couldn't talk to our parents about. I had always felt comfortable going to my mother with just about anything. But not this. How do you tell your mother, the woman who gave birth to you, that you were going to die? Especially knowing that she'd already lost the love of her life?

My dad's death had been so sudden. We knew he was sick, but we still didn't expect him to go out like that. It was horrible for our entire family, but it was excruciating for my mom. I just couldn't bear to see that look on her face when she lost us. It was selfish on my part, but I didn't want to tell her about this because I didn't want to have to deal with her pain.

"I know. And I'd talk to you if there was something to say," I frowned.

"What's wrong?" She wasn't going to give up.

Her persistence was making me uncomfortable. I had a hard time keeping things from her. I didn't _like_ to lie. But I certainly couldn't say, _Hey, mom, we're out of milk. Oh, and by the way, Seth and I are going to die in a few weeks. _

I drew in a deep breath. What could I say to get her off my case? I thought of the one thing that would probably send any mother into a state of shock, and couldn't help but grin a little at the ludicrousy of it.

"I'm pregnant with Edward Cullen's child. He doesn't really love Bella, he loves me. Jacob is Nessie's _real_ father, which is the real reason he is always hanging around with her. And Seth has an evil twin."

She rolled her eyes at me, yet again. "Seriously, Leah? Can't you be sincere for _one_ minute?" she asked. "That plot was on _Days of Our Lives_ last week."

"Yeah, but when you watch soap opera's, our lives don't seem so sordid, do they?" I laughed.

My mother still didn't lighten up. "Okay, you and your brother don't want to talk to me? That's fine. But I'm going to figure out what's bothering you sooner or later."

I cowered a little when she said that, because I knew it was true. But I didn't want her to know that she was going to be losing the only two things that still mattered to her in her life. So, I was going to have to do my best to make sure everyone involved kept quiet about the fact that the Volturi was coming to town.

Guess that's another thing I would have to talk to Sam about today. I needed him to keep his mouth shut to the Elders about what was _really_ going on.

For now, I was just going to have to settle for lying to my mother _again_. So, instead of telling her about the battle to come, I used the next thing on my mind.

"Well, I can't tell you what Seth's problem is, but I'm going to go and face mine right now." I turned my focus away from one problem and tried to think about another.

"What are you talking about?" Good. She was curious. Sam was a good excuse to use against my mother.

If it were up to me, I would be walking out my door to go and fight the Volturi right now. I really had no interest in seeing Sam. Even with Embry and me together, I didn't want to bring up that pain, especially now that I knew how much he still cared about me. But I had to do this. If Sam and I could come to a mutual understanding about everything, maybe my life would get a heck of a lot easier.

"I'm going to see Sam."

I saw her eyes widen. "What are you planning on doing?"

Apparently she had no faith in me at all.

"Gee mom, I thought maybe I would tie him to a kitchen chair and cut off all the tips of his fingers before slathering him in honey and dragging him out to the forest for bears to eat him." Wow, I had given this more thought than I'd realized. I just shrugged, "I just need to talk to him."

"About what?"

About the fact that he had royally screwed me when it came to love. Thanks to him, I would never be able to trust another man.

"In order for me to move on with my love life, I have to talk to him about some things." I left it vague for a reason. I honestly didn't know what I was going to say. I think I was just going to have to play it by ear.

"You know that he never meant to hurt you." Didn't mean he hadn't. "And remember that your words have consequences." Like I really cared about what happened to me _now_? I was going to die in a month anyway. "And above all, he and Emily love each other."

_God, mom, why don't you shove the knife a little deeper into my back_? I thought caustically. I bit my tongue and smiled and nodded.

"Try not to be too hard on him."

Why was my mother concerned about Sam so damn much? _I_ was her kid, _not_ him. It irked me that she didn't tell me to kick his ass or something. I sighed when I realized where Seth had gotten his compassion from. My mom was so empathetic to others.

"I'll do my best." I waved to her as I walked into the living room. She followed me, carrying the steaming bag of popcorn.

Charlie and Billy both turned their eyes at me as I walked towards the front door. Charlie smiled weakly and waved. Billy just glared at me suspiciously. I wondered how much Sam had told him about what was going on.

For as long as I could remember, Sam had always gone to Billy when it came to things regarding the pack. He admitted to me once that Old Quil scared him. The crotchety old man scared most of the pack. Even though he was older than dirt, he had more fire in him than anyone I had ever met. He wasn't afraid to beat the shit out of you with his cane. One time, Paul had smarted off to him and ended up with a knot the size of a baseball on his shin. I really liked Old Quil.

"Hey Leah, are you going to the Cullen's?" Charlie asked curiously as my mother sat down next to him.

Sure. Because I was _dying_ to meet all of the Cullen's little friends.

"Nope." I smiled as I shook my head.

"Oh…" Charlie looked down at his feet sadly.

The look he had in his eyes made me feel like crap. It made me want to hit Bella for hurting him. But then I suddenly remembered that I was doing the same thing to my mother. Great, now I wanted to hit _myself_.

"Well, if you see Bella, will you ask her to call me please?" Charlie questioned.

I'm sure the vampire whore was absolutely ecstatic with the idea of all her little leech friends finding out that her father was a human that hung around the mansion, completely unaware of the danger he was constantly in.

"Sure, _if_ I see her," I nodded. Chances were that I _would_ be seeing her again sometime soon. With the battle coming up, I'm sure we were going to have to coordinate an attack plan.

Charlie turned back to the movie.

"What'd I miss?" My mother questioned as she glanced at the screen.

"Some guy just blew up a helicopter with a match and a stick of butter." Charlie updated her on the movie. I laughed. So the movie must be something with MacGyver.

"You sure you don't want to stay and watch the movie, Leah?" My mom faced me again.

Ha. HA! Was she _kidding_? I could think of _nothing_ less comfortable than watching her and Charlie making out, while Billy glared at me angrily for reasons I was unaware of.

"No, thanks." I laughed. "You guys enjoy it." I put my hand on the doorknob. "Bye." I waved.

"See you later." Charlie put his arm around my mom.

God Charlie, keep it in your pants, at least until I'm out of the house…

"And have Bella call me," he added.

I laughed. I was just delivering all kinds of messages to Bella, because we were apparently _so_ close.

"Hey Leah?" Billy finally spoke to me.

"Yes?" I was a little startled to hear him speak up. I turned back to face him.

"Have Jacob do the same," Billy said with a rough tone to his voice. "Tell him to pick up the damn phone once in a while."

"Uh, okay," I said unsurely.

So, _did_ Billy know about the Volturi? If he did, was he going to call me out in front of my mother? She obviously was unaware that there was an army of vampires on their way, because if she _had_ known, she wouldn't have bothered with all the small talk in the kitchen. She would have just gone off into a rant about why Seth and I hadn't told her.

I felt a bit of panic working its way to the surface. But after a minute, I remembered that Charlie was here, and Billy wouldn't talk about vampires in front of Charlie. So even if he _did_ know, I didn't have to deal with that right now.

As I closed the door, I left all my worries about the three of them behind me. I had bigger things on my mind. As I started on my way to Sam and Emily's house, I started to wonder what I was going to say to Sam. With Emily there, I needed to be cautious with my anger. She didn't like to see any of the werewolves upset. Though, I could hardly say that I blamed her. If a wolf had shredded my face the way Sam had hers, I would probably be nervous around shouting wolves too.

I shivered a little recalling when my mother had gotten that phone call that Emily was in the hospital. Mauled by a bear, my ass. That was just a rumor that started floating around town after Emily's brush with a temperamental, and ever regretful Sam. Seth and I believed the bear rumor at the time because we hadn't joined the pack yet. Of course, my parents knew the truth. Being on the council, they knew _exactly_ what was going on. Sam was the only werewolf at that time, and he didn't have the best control of himself yet.

I was still so angry at both of them for breaking my heart that when my mother told me that Emily was hurt, my initial reaction was, _Ha, Karma's a bitch._ That was, of course, until I found out how bad it was. My mom had sat down and explained to me that Emily's injuries were extensive, especially on her face. I didn't say much as we drove to the hospital.

The selfish, childish part of me wondered that if Emily wasn't as pretty anymore, would Sam possibly come back to me? I had gotten so pissed at myself for reacting like that. Emily was my best friend, my _family_. She didn't deserve to be hurt, even if she _had_ hurt me.

Emily had seemed so helpless in that pale little hospital room. Even though half of her face was destroyed, I could still see her smiling at Sam. Sam looked as bad emotionally as Emily did physically. He was a complete and utter wreck. When my parents, Seth, and I had entered the room, Sam made sure to leave.

Emily seemed to miss him when he was gone. I sat down in the chair next to her bed, and just lost it. I felt terrible that Emily was all scarred up, mostly because one of the last things I said to her and Sam was that I hoped that they both died. But that had been because I was so hurt that Sam was leaving me for her.

Emily quickly smacked me, and told me to stop crying and blaming myself. She assured me that my reaction was justified,

"Any normal girl with a brain whose boyfriend leaves her for another girl has every right to hate the people who hurt her." She proceeded to tell me that one day, I would understand why Sam had done what he had done.

I quickly asked for her forgiveness for the hateful way I had been treating her since the day Sam had told me it was over. She kindly obliged. My cousin was more forgiving than she had any right to be. But she never saw that I had done anything wrong.

She explained that at first, she had been furious with Sam for breaking my heart. As odd as it sounded, it made me feel a little better to hear that. I sat there and listened as Emily told me how we sometimes can't fight our destiny. She left the whole "werewolf" thing out of the conversation, of course. I didn't understand anything she'd told me that night. I still didn't. In fact, I was still skeptical of all that "destiny" shit. I never was one to let _other_ forces tell me how to live _my_ life.

But that night in the hospital, I let her believe that I understood. I was actually impressed that she spoke with as much clarity as she did. She'd slurred a few times, but I chalked it up to the pain meds and the fact that half of her face was gone. With the injuries to her face, it must have hurt her to talk to me for so long. But, she felt like she owed me _something_ of an explanation.

At first, I felt better after my visit with Emily. But as we were leaving the hospital, I ran into Sam. He felt some need to talk to me too. But with him, I wasn't as willing to listen. I immediately lost my temper with him and blamed him for letting Emily get injured. I didn't know how close to the truth I really was when I yelled at him and told him it was completely his fault. Even without knowing it _was_ his fault, I could see the anguish in his eyes.

I shook my head and sighed. I hoped that today's talk would go better than that night at the hospital. I needed to get to a point in my life where I could see Sam and _not_ remind him that he had broken my heart. He'd heard it a million times. And he had never once argued that fact. He knew that he'd done wrong.

As I dragged myself to the front door of Sam and Emily's place, I swallowed a knot in my throat. I had been here dozens of times since he and Emily had moved in together. But never had I been here with the intentions of trying to make things right with Sam.

I knocked on the door before I could change my mind and run away like a little coward. My feet were frozen in place anyway, so I couldn't run even if I wanted too.

Sam opened the door, shocked at my presence. "Leah?" He obviously hadn't expected me to _actually_ want to talk to him.

I forced myself to look into his eyes, and my heart broke all over again.

"We need to talk."


	42. Breaking my heart once wasn't enough?

_The story's in the past_

_With nothing to recall  
_

_I've got my life to live  
_

_And I don't need you at all  
_

_The rollercoaster ride we took is nearly at an end_

_I bought my ticket with my tears  
_

_That's all I'm gonna spend  
_

_"Red Rubber Ball"_

_-Cyrkle_

* * *

**Chapter 42:  
**

**Breaking my heart once wasn't enough?**

The first thing that I noticed when I walked into the house is how quiet it was.

"Where's Emily?" I questioned.

"Out with Claire and her mother."

So if I killed him now there would be no witnesses. _Excellent_. Sam saw that I had a questionable look on my face and took a step back. I stood completely still. After a minute, both of us relaxed. We were still quiet.

Leave it to me to break the uncomfortable silence.

"So…big fight coming up…"

"Yeah." Sam nodded.

"I'm just curious…do the Elders know what's going on? With the Volturi?"

"Billy knows…" Of course Billy knew. I had totally called that one. "Well, he and Old Quil know…certain things. They don't know the logistics of it. But they're aware that more wolves are going to be joining the pack, so they aren't completely clueless that something is going on…"

"But you haven't talked to them about the battle?" I questioned.

"No. Not yet."

"Good. Do me a favor and keep my mom out of it…" I frowned.

"She's on the council, Leah. There are certain things she needs to know…"

"And the fact that Seth and I will be fighting a losing battle is _not_ one of them. So please just keep your mouth shut…"I begged.

"Alright." Sam's willingness to agree to my plea surprised me a little.

The silence took over again for a few minutes.

Sam cleared his throat. "Would you like something to drink?"

Not unless he had several bottles of alcohol laying around somewhere.

"No, thanks."

He walked into the kitchen anyway and motioned for me to follow him. I begrudgingly shuffled after him.

"I'm glad to see that you're up and about. That leech really did a number on you the other day." Sam motioned for me to sit down.

I grunted a little as I walked into the kitchen. Every time I came here, I was reminded of what he and I _could_ have had. I shook my head and opted to stay standing instead.

"Yeah, well…you know, it's going to take more than a few broken bones to stop me." I shrugged.

"Still…I kind of wish you had called me when you got home. I was worried." Sam frowned.

He had lost the right to worry about me the moment that he imprinted on Emily. I didn't have to tell him _anything_ anymore.

"You're not my boyfriend anymore, Sam," I grumbled. "I was with Embry. _He_ took care of me." _Something you never did._ I refrained from saying the last part.

Sam frowned a little at my hostility, but then nodded approvingly. "Well, I'm glad that you're okay."

Was this all he wanted to talk to me about? To make some pathetic sad faces at me while kicking himself for letting his idiot newborn wolf go off and get himself into a position where I had to save him and got hurt in the process? This wasn't something he could have done over the phone?

"Was there any other particular reason you kept telling people you wanted to talk to me?" I asked. I kind of hoped that there was. Because the longer that Sam spoke about something, the longer I could avoid talking to him about what I needed to talk to him about. How he had ruined any chances I ever had of having a normal functioning relationship...

Sam took a minute to pause and think before he answered me, "I just…had to see for myself that you were really okay."

"You could have just stalked me like every other _normal_ person would have." That would have saved us both the trouble. I was obviously not ready to have this talk.

I was starting to get irritated that he had gone through all this trouble just to say "hi glad you didn't die…want some tea?" I knew that he had seen from Paul's mind that I was perfectly fine. So why would he go to such great lengths just to make sure my bones had healed?

"What's this really about, Sam?"

He took another deep breath before he answered. Something was obviously troubling him.

"When I saw you on the ground in pain, it was…difficult for me…"

I laughed. Difficult for _him_? _I'm_ the one who'd had four broken bones. _I'm_ the one who almost got mauled to death by that crazy-ass vampire. And yet…it was _hard_ for _him_? Oh, boo hoo…poor _freakin_ Sam…

"I should have had a closer eye on things," Sam admitted.

"Yes. You should have." Damn, I tried not to let that slip. It made me feel kind of crappy, because it _wasn't_ his fault. It was Paul's fault for not watching Cody. It was Cody's fault for being a dumbass. It was the vampire's fault for being a _vampire_. And it was my fault for choosing to attack the vampire. It was everyone _but_ Sam's fault.

"As it is, I was afraid that we wouldn't make it in time…"

"Embry made it in plenty of time." I shrugged. "I had another few minutes of fight left in me." I wondered if I would get away with that lie. It was more like a matter of _seconds_. If Embry hadn't knocked me out of the bloodsucker's grasp when he did, I wouldn't be here bitching at Sam today.

"When Jared and I helped disassemble the vampire, all I wanted to do was run to your side to make sure that you were still breathing," he sighed. "If you _had_ died…I don't even…I can't even begin to imagine…"

I didn't see what the big deal would have been to him. It's not like I was a part of his pack or his life anymore. It's not like he still loved me. I looked at him. _Did he?_

"But I _didn't_ die…" Not yet, anyway. I still had about a month left. "So…why all the dramatics?" I questioned.

"Because even though we're not together anymore, I still love you, Leah…" He looked me in the eyes. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me.

"Excuse me?" I gasped. Then I shook my head angrily. "No. You can't say that kind of stuff to me anymore." I choked back a pained cry. "I'm with Embry now. And you…you're with Emily…"

"Doesn't mean I love you any less." Sam tried to make me feel better.

"No, you just love Emily more," I snapped.

"I can't fight with destiny."

"You never tried," I scoffed.

"I wouldn't want to. Because I _do_ love Emily. She's going to be my wife shortly…" Yeah, if we lived through the Volturi. Which was very unlikely. I bit my lip when I thought about what might happen if we _did_ survive. Well, Embry would win the bet for one thing. But…I would have to fulfill my duties for Emily and Sam's wedding. Horrible gawdy pink dress and all. Only one thought came to mind: Insert gun in mouth…pull trigger.

Sam continued, "Just because Emily and I are soul mates…" Where was that damn gun? "That doesn't mean that I don't care about you, too. You're my best friend, Leah. We've known each other for _fifteen_ years…"

"And that was fifteen years too long," I sighed. I hadn't said that with any hint of anger in my voice. I didn't mean it to be hurtful. I just think that maybe I would have been happier if he had never loved me in the first place. Hell, _he_ would be happier. I managed to squeak out another sigh, "How do you move on from fifteen years?"

"With time I guess." Sam didn't know the answer any more than I did. The thing is, we _both_ wanted to move on. He had Emily. And I had Embry. We both had people who loved us. The question was…were they _in_ love with us? _Loving_ someone and being _in love_ are two totally different things. And I believed with all my heart that Sam and I had been _in love_.

"Oh, get real, Sam." I rolled my eyes. "'Time heals all wounds' is just a bullshit phrase…"

"Your arm healed…" He pointed out.

"That's because bones heal. Hearts don't."

"You don't have to get snarky…"

Actually, I had _every_ reason to tell him how I felt. As he so kindly pointed out, we had been _friends_ for fifteen years. Friends fight. And he wanted to be my friend, therefore, we were going to fight whether he wanted to or not.

"I don't think my heart will ever be the same. I thought it was on the mend. Until I came here today." I shook my head. "If you keep toying with my emotions like this…I might as well just rip my heart out of my chest and give it to you to play hackey-sack with."

"Look, I get that I hurt you. I'm a dick. I'm an unbelievable selfish piece of shit. I'm…unbearable to be around. I can not change what has already happened."

"I know that," I said. "And I would never ask you to. I love my cousin, and I see the way the two of you look at each other…" I was trying to convince myself not to give in to my irrational emotional side. _Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry_. "I wouldn't want either one of you to be unhappy. So, I'll just…see you at the wedding then…" If those damn vampires didn't kill us, I might just have to set myself on fire or something.

"Out of curiosity, how are things going with you and Embry?" He surprised me when he asked about my relationship with Embry.

I was a lot touchier about the subject than I thought I would be.

"What are you, my psychiatrist?" I snapped. Then I took a moment to laugh because I remembered that my last psychiatrist had _fired_ me. I was a complete and utter fuck-up and apparently no one could fix me. "Newsflash: You don't get to gossip with me about my love life."

"You're angry…" Sam stated the obvious.

"Gee, you're _so_ perceptive."

"But I thought you were happy with Embry." There he was, asking about something he had no right asking me about again.

"Of course I'm happy." I tensed my jaw up because this next part wasn't going to be so easy. "But…he's not _you,_ Sam." It pained me to say those words. I did care about Embry dearly. I allowed him to get closer to me than anyone else I knew. But it still didn't change the fact that I didn't love him as much as I had once loved Sam. And that just irritated me to no end. That's what I was here to try and change today.

Sam looked down at the floor nervously. I knew this was making him uncomfortable. It wasn't exactly easy for me, either.

After a moment of silence, Sam finally looked up at me again.

"What do you expect me to say to that?" His tone was harsher than it had been a second ago. That stung me.

"Nothing. You seem to be _really_ good at saying nothing."

"Come on. You know none of this is by choice…"

"It _isn't_?" I gasped sarcastically. "Well, in that case, everything's _all_ better now." I frowned. "I'm sick of the 'destiny,' 'free-will,' 'imprinting' speech."

"I never meant to hurt you," Sam said with a growl building up in his throat.

I tried my best to suppress my anger, but it just wasn't working.

"Yeah? Well…you did." I shrugged. "And because I can never stop loving you…I don't have a shot in hell at loving Embry back."

He looked stunned that I had finally admitted aloud that I was still in love with him. It was hard for me to say, but it was true. Even more stunning though was the fact that I _wanted_ to love Embry back.

"You don't know that for sure. You're still so angry with me that you can't let go of your past to enjoy your future."

"You don't think I've been _trying_ to say goodbye to you for the past year? You don't think I _want_ to get over the fact that you and Emily are going to get your happy little dream wedding? I have done _everything_ possible to try and get you _out_ of my life!" I exclaimed. I saw how much that hurt him, but I couldn't stop my emotions from spitting out all over the place. I hated being a girl sometimes. "I _left_ the pack. I ignored everyone around me when they would just _mention_ your name. I can even admit that I'm falling for Embry. But I _can't_ let you go, Sam! _Why_ can't I let you go!" I could feel the tears burning my eyes now.

This argument was reminding me too much of the night that Sam had told me he was in love with Emily. He had told me that he still wanted me in his life. That as much as he loved Emily, he would never let go of the love he had for me because I held a _special_ place in his heart. Bull-fucking-shit. Then he apologized about twelve-hundred times before telling me that he never wanted to hurt me.

Sam put his arm on my shoulder to try and stop me from shaking.

"Leah, I'm so s…"

"_Don't_ say you're sorry, or I swear to God I'll jam my foot so far up your ass that Carlisle will have to remove it surgically." I shoved him away from me.

"We have to talk about this, Leah. You can't just keep hiding behind your anger," Sam said quietly.

He had me there. I had always been one to hide how much I was hurting by being an incredibly hateful bitch. It was just easier to be angry.

I shook my hands furiously.

"I can't do this. I thought I could, but I can't. I can't pretend that what we had didn't mean something. I can't _just_ be your friend, Sam. After everything we've been through, I can't watch from the sidelines not understanding what I did wrong…"

"What…_you_…did wrong?" Sam was trying to decipher what I meant by that.

I nodded. "I wasn't enough for you, Sam? Was that it? I didn't do everything a perfect girlfriend should do? I didn't play house and bake cookies and clean the kitchen, and make little babies like I should have? Is that why you didn't choose me?"

"Is that what you think?" Sam asked softly.

"Tell me what I'm supposed to think."

"Leah, it had nothing to do with _you._ There's nothing wrong with _you_," he assured me. I sighed. I'd heard this speech a million times before. And the fact that I _had_ heard it so much lately just further proved my theory that there _was_ something wrong with me. He shook his head in frustration and then let out an aggravated grunt. "Maybe if things were different. If…the vampires weren't here and we didn't have to exist as werewolves…who's to say we wouldn't have ended up together? But we don't live in the real world anymore. Things get set into motion for a reason…"

"Yeah, a _stupid_ reason," I grumbled. This really was all the leeches' fault for being here and existing. What kind of wonderful world would we be living in if the Cullens weren't here? Maybe Sam and I could have been happy together. Hell, maybe Bella and I would have gotten along. I grumbled and shook my head. Nah, we were polar opposites. We would hate each other until our dying day.

"We're supposed to be in each other's lives. I know that. And we've had a rocky road. We just got lost somewhere along the way." Sam frowned. "Leah…what happened to us?"

Was he freaking kidding me?

"Do you really want me to answer that?" I growled.

His response was filled with sarcasm, "No, I'm just talking to myself here."

That just pissed me off more. "You…are just an incredible…dickhead!" I was so angered that I couldn't think of anything else to call him at the moment. "You want to know what I _really_ think? I think that you're just trying to get the fact that I almost _died_ off of your conscience. Is that what this is about? The fact that your stupid-ass pack almost got me killed?" Well...fine. "If that's all you need, you're off the hook. I forgive Paul for not paying close enough attention…"

"There's the anger again. I know you're just venting, but you're starting to piss me off…" Sam muttered under his breath.

"Oh, I'm _sooo_ sorry for hurting your delicate little girly feelings, Sam." If he was allowed to hurt me with sarcasm, I could do the same to him.

"I'm sorry that you hate me so much…" Sam shook his head. "I don't feel so strongly towards you."

This whole "I still love you" junk was really getting under my skin.

"You only love me when it's _convenient_ for you. Where was the _love_ when we were sharing thoughts as wolves? Or when you decided to use your Alpha command on me the _second_ I didn't agree with you?"

"I only did that because you were being unruly…"

"Because I had a different opinion than you? That's crap and you know it!" I turned towards the door. I was finished here. I was too angry to think straight, and Sam was just trying to make _himself_ feel better. "God, you are such a tool."

As I reached for the door, Sam stopped me. His hand came down firmly on the frame and the door slammed in front of me.

"You don't understand. We _can't_ leave things like this…" I reached for the handle again, but Sam jerked my arm away.

He was shaking. I couldn't tell if he was angry or if he was just trying not to give in to his despair. I felt his fingers tense up around my arm. The pressure started to hurt. I managed to stay calm.

I kept my tone as even as I could, "Sam…you're hurting me. Let me go…"

How had it gotten to this point? Since when had Sam been the one to lose his cool while I kept mine?

Sam still had his hand tightly around my arm trying to keep me from walking out the door. When he spoke, his voice was calmer than his demeanor.

"There is something else you need to know…"

I glanced down to where he was restraining me and shook my head.

"You have about two seconds to let go of my arm…" I threatened him.

"We aren't finished here yet…" Sam's voice still had no hint of anger.

His two seconds were up.

"Yes…we damn well are." I drew my free hand back and threw it forward into his chin. He let go of my arm and went stumbling backwards.

At first the only thing I felt was my adrenaline. Holy shit. I had punched him. _I_ had punched Sam Uley. I had been fantasizing about doing that since he broke my heart. I had to admit, it _did_ feel good. Until I realized that my hand was throbbing._Ow, damn it, damn it, damn it…_ His freaking jaw was _tough_. I could feel a bruise forming on my knuckles. Sam rubbed his hand over his chin as he tried to crack his jaw.

"Why did you hit me?" He seemed taken aback.

"Because you deserved it." I realized that was a childish answer, so I added, "I told you to let me go…"

"I wasn't going to hurt you…" He wiped away some blood from the inside of his lip.

"Did the words 'you're hurting me' not get through that thick skull of yours?" I snapped. "What could be so important that you would _bruise_ my arm to say it?" I threw my arm up to show him the red marks where his fingers had been.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "But I couldn't let you walk out without knowing…"

"Knowing what? That you're a fucking masochistic cocksucker?" Well, so much for having control of my anger.

"You probably don't realize it yet, but…we're going to be spending a lot of time together in the near future…" He had to be referring to the wedding. But since I was probably going to be dead, I wasn't that worried about bailing on the ceremony.

"Over my dead body!" Literally. If the Volturi didn't kill me, I was going to have to find another way to get out of the wedding.

I threw open the front door and stormed out. Sam followed me. I spun around and drew my fist back again.

He threw his hands up and backed away a few steps. Damn right you mother-fucking asshole…or, well…in his case, _cousin_-fucking asshole.

"Wait. You don't understand…" Sam frowned. "Just give me a few more minutes of your time and I'll explain…"

"I'm done listening to your excuses. I've wasted enough of my life on you." I frowned. "Matter of fact, how about you give me back the last fifteen years of my life?" I snarled. It was a really generic thing to say, and I knew that, but it's not like I could come up with anything better.

I heard a howl in the distance. Jacob was calling a meeting. Thank God. I finally had a logical excuse to get out of here.

"Don't bother following me," I growled. "In fact, if you come _near_ me again…I will break every bone in your body and leave you as a snack for the vampires." I frowned. "I hope that one day someone comes along and hurts you the way you've hurt me. The day that happens look me up. I'm sure I could use a good laugh at your expense," I said bitterly.

I broke forward in a run as I started to shed my clothes.

"Leah…wait!" Sam exclaimed.

But I was already gone.

As I raced towards meeting my pack, I left Sam behind in the dust. The last I looked, he hadn't phased to follow me.

I had expected the conversation with Sam to go over a little something like that. I mean, I didn't go in _planning_ to punch him. That was just an added bonus. Considering how many emotions had been flooding my mind in that house, he was lucky I didn't kill him.

I sighed a little. I didn't get _anything_ I needed from that conversation. Sam was right. We weren't through yet.

Eventually, Sam and I would have to finish that conversation. But for now…I just threw my snout in the air and ran towards my pack…to the only freedom I had ever known.


	43. Why does the whole world hate me?

_I don't want to hurt you, you don't want to hurt me_

_I can't stand you, and you can't stand me_

_We can't rearrange, you can never change me_

_Say goodbye, nothing I say could change your mind_

_"I won't be there"_

_-Simple Plan_

* * *

**Chapter 43:**

**Why does the entire world hate me?**

Of course, all of the guys were stunned as they saw the replay of what had just happened breeze through my mind. For once, no one knew what to say.

Seth was the first one to speak up, calling attention to how Sam had gone down from _one_ little punch from me.

_Dude, Sam's a pussy._ His foul language surprised me a bit.

_Eh, you are what you eat,_ Quil quipped.

And _there_ was an image I didn't need. _Ah, man…__why__?_ I asked Quil. That is the _last_ thing I wanted to see in my head right now. I was still trying to get over seeing my mother and Charlie _together_! Now I had Sam and Emily right in there with them.

Embry was the only one who was concerned about me.

_Did he hurt you_? A growl escaped through his teeth.

_No more than usual_, I shrugged.

He snorted, _You shouldn't have stopped with just one hit._ He apparently thought Sam deserved to get his ass kicked. _He shouldn't have grabbed you like that._

_I'm really fine, Embry,_ I assured him. Physically, I was fine. But I think that I was pretty shaken emotionally. I tried to hide it. I did a crappy job of that.

_Okay, who wants to help me kick Sam's ass_? Seth didn't like the fact that Sam had upset me so much. Of course he had to go and be my _brother_…

_I get the first piece._ Embry was just as angry as Seth.

_No one is kicking anyone's ass,_ Jacob let out a rumble.

His sudden short temper surprised us all.

_He messed with my sister, man,_ Seth snapped back.

_Leah, you ok_ay? Jacob questioned.

_Of course. I'm fine._ My bruises were already healed.

_See? No problems, _he assured the rest of the pack. _We don't need to start a war with Sam's pack over a misunderstanding._

_I hardly think his idiotic behavior qualifies as a misunderstanding,_ I grumbled.

_Look, I'll speak with Sam. But until then, we will not fight amongst ourselves. Sam's pack is doing us a great service by helping us fight against the Volturi. We've got enough violence headed this way. We don't need to add to that by pissing Sam off._

_Well, I'm sorry for defending myself,_ I said sarcastically.

_I didn't say you were wrong for doing it._ _You had every right to break his jaw. You asked him to back off. He didn't,_ Jacob huffed and paused for a moment. _But keep in mind he only had your best interest at heart._

I slowed my pace. Embry and Seth had already reached where Jacob was at. Seth was a few paces in front of me.

_How so_? I asked when I walked into the clearing.

_You'll see_.

_You're being really weird, Jacob._ I walked over and sat down next to him.

_I gotta agree with Leah, man. What's going on? Everything okay at the leeches place?_ Quil asked.

_Other than all the freaking houseguests,_ Jacob mumbled. I saw through his eyes that two more vampires had showed up on the Cullen's doorstep. One was a male, and one was female. They were sent by Alice. Guess the little trickster had something up her sleeve after all. He groaned, _I'm sure you're wondering why we're sitting here._

Yeah, and how was he able to stand being away from Nessie? I suddenly understood why Jacob was being so serious and _mature_…

He said the words that I knew were coming. _Okay. We need to talk._

I cringed a bit. _Those_ words never brought good news.

_What's up, Jake?_ Seth asked. _Need us to run perimeters?_

_Actually, the opposite._ I heard him stifle a growl. _There are going to be a lot more bloodsuckers coming out this way._

_Yeah, we were there when Carlisle explained about all the vamps to witness for them._ Quil apparently felt like this was a review.

Guess Jacob didn't expect his pack to accept the leeches so quickly.

_The thing is, a lot of them don't take too kindly to werewolves._

_Color me surprised._ I rolled my eyes.

_Dude, what's going on_? Embry was confused.

_I spoke with Sam this morning._

What a coincidence, so had I. _Everyone_ was talking to Sam today. Though I highly doubt Jacob had called him the names that I had.

Suddenly, I recalled Sam mentioning something about us "spending a lot of time together." I hadn't understood what he'd meant at the time, but I was slowly coming to the realization that there was more to his statement than his and Emily's wedding.

All that stuff about Jacob _wanting_ me to talk to Sam had been because he _planned_ on sending me back. He wanted me to make nice with Sam so I wouldn't throw a fit when he kicked me to the curb.

I felt sick to my stomach when Jacob confirmed my fears.

_For now, you guys are going to be running with Sam's pack._

I was the first to complain. _Do you hate me in ways that I'm unaware of_? I growled. I did _not_ want to go back to that pack. Not after I'd tasted freedom.

Jacob just rolled his eyes. _Not everything is about you, Leah._ He stood up and started pacing in front of us. _Sam and I had a long discussion about reconnecting our packs for the battle._

And suddenly, it wasn't just _my_ shock and confusion that I was feeling anymore.

_Why? We do just fine communicating with them when we run patrols,_ Embry frowned. _Besides, Leah and I chatted all the time when we were part of the two separate packs. And you and Sam can talk to each other, so why should we have to rejoin them? This __can__ be done without all this dramatic crap._

_We have to focus on the big picture here. We have to be at our __strongest__ when the Volturi arrives. There are going to be a lot of changes…_ Jacob's thought trailed off.

_But, you'll still be our Alpha, right?_ Seth asked quietly.

_I've got a lot going on right now. With all these visitors, I have to focus on what's best for the pack._

Translation: He was totally screwing us over because he didn't know how to handle stress. Freaking wuss.

_At least be honest with us, Jacob,_ I snapped. _You care more about Nessie than you do us._ He knew it was true, so he didn't argue with me.

I was really having a shitty day. First, I had to deal with Billy's accusing glares, then there was the whole thing with Sam, and now, Jacob was just tossing us out like yesterday's used garbage.

_Leah, you know it isn't like that,_ Jacob sighed. _I just think it would be better for everyone if the pack kept their distance. Sam has offered to let you guys rejoin his ranks for the time being._

_How thoughtful of him._ Seth took over for my lack of sarcasm.

_Guys, it's not the end of the world. It's only temporary._ He looked at me. _Besides, I hear it's getting kind of interesting in La Push. With the Volturi coming, there are more wolves joining the pack._

Yeah, not a selling point. A bunch of inexperienced moronic teenagers constantly thinking about boobs and asses. I was tired of the "my dick is bigger than yours" territorial shit. I didn't want to go back to having to hear that crap on a daily basis.

_Sam's going to need some help training the new wolves,_ Jacob continued.

_Oh, that's __just__ what I want to do._ I rolled my eyes. _Spend all my time babysitting a bunch of whiny little brats who still watch __cartoons__ in their PJ's on Saturday mornings._ I shook my head. _Screw that!_ I exclaimed. There was no way I would go back to Sam. _You are __completely__ reneging on your promise to me._ I reminded him that he told me I wouldn't have to go back to Sam.

_It's only until things get situated at the Cullen's,_ Jacob assured me.

_Exactly how long is that going to be?_ Quil questioned.

Jacob couldn't answer. He just let out another sigh. He shifted around uncomfortably, and suddenly, a memory he had been trying to repress popped into his head. It was a conversation that Edward had had with the two new vampires.

From what I could tell, unlike the Cullens and the Denali clan, the two newest additions to the house did not have the same respect for human life as the "vegetarian" vampires.

I cried out in shock, _They're going to __hunt__ humans?_ I growled.

_Not in our borders._ There was a mixture of relief and anger in Jacob's tone, _They've agreed to leave Forks and La Push alone._

I was stunned. Why would Jacob agree to stay on board when he knew that human lives were going to be lost? That's the reason we existed in the first place! _Nothing_ could justify this.

_I'm not exactly happy about it,_ Jacob grumbled.

_But you didn't speak up either,_ Embry pointed out from the memory. All Jacob had done was sit in the corner and grumble silently to himself.

_So when exactly did you lose your balls_? I snapped. Ever since he had become friends with the Cullens, his ability to see past some of their decisions made me question his sanity. _This_ took the cake. Apparently, after Nessie had been born, Jacob had been castrated, and his testicles were sitting somewhere on the Cullen's mantelpiece.

_Enough, Leah._ Jacob cut my thoughts short. _I can't do anything about it._

Well, Sam sure as hell would.

_He and I spoke about this as well. We are in agreement that as long as the vampires don't harm anyone in Forks and La Push, we will put up with their animalistic ways._

_This is just __wrong__, Jacob._ Quil was thinking of Claire. Some of her family members lived outside the borders of La Push. She visited them sometimes. It terrified Quil that the vampires could get that close to her, and there was nothing he could do about it.

_Sacrifices have to be made for the people we love,_ Jacob shrugged.

Well, well, well. Look who agreed with _murder_ now. I snorted. Anything to help his precious little Nessie.

Everyone was quiet for a minute. Again, we weren't sure how to respond. The fact that there were innocent people out there who were going to be hunted down and killed just bugged us all.

_So, now not only are we __protecting__ the vampires, we're going to stand by with our thumbs up our asses while they eat people?_ I questioned.

_It's a bit more complicated than that._ Jacob glared at me.

_Being an accessory to murder is not complicated at all,_ I frowned.

He let out a rumble in his throat, _This__ is exactly why I'm sending you guys back to Sam's pack. You can't handle this situation._

_Because we're not __made__ to just "handle" it!_ I argued. _You think our forefather's decided to become wolves just for the hell of it? "Hey, how's about we morph into gigantic beasts so we can lick our asses and get belly rubs from the local chicks?" We __exist__ to preserve human life!_

_I __know__ our history, Leah._ _And I'm doing the best I can to do what's right,_ he grumbled. _But there are some situations that we have no control over._

I felt a twinge of pain shoot through me when I heard those words. He wasn't the first person to tell me that we weren't in control of our own destiny sometimes. Sam used that excuse all the time. The memory shut me up.

_If we promise not to complain about it, can we stay_? Seth finally broke the silence.

It was surprising to me that Seth wanted to go back to Sam even less than _I_ did.

Jacob shook his head. _This is the way things have to be._

_But I don't want to go back to Sam's pack,_ Seth groaned softly.

Jacob snapped, _You don't have a choice, Seth._ He had finally grown tired of our arguments.

_What happened to letting us keep our free will?_ Seth shook his head, _I won't do it, Jacob._

_Yes, you damn well will_! Jacob lost his temper. _And that's an order, Seth!_ He used his Alpha command for the first time since we had joined his pack.

Seth yelped out in surprise. Seeing Jacob use his command on my brother sent me into a rage.

_Don't yell at him, you jerk!_ I snapped.

_I can fight my own battles, Leah._ Seth didn't appreciate my generosity.

_Shut up, I'm agreeing with you, you idiot._

_Look, I'm only doing this to protect you. Some of the vampires won't tolerate having werewolves around._ Jacob continued trying to justify his decisions.

_If they don't like werewolves, then why are __you__ staying_? I asked.

_You know I can't leave Nessie._ He lowered his eyes at me.

_So instead of __you__ having to do something that makes you uncomfortable, you're going to make __us__ miserable? Some leader you are._

Jacob remained calm this time. _Go back to La Push._ He glanced at us. _All of you._

Quil was the first one to take off. Seth wasn't far behind. Embry and I stared at Jacob for a while.

This was completely unfair. There had been a time when I would have been _glad_ to get away from Bella and her perfect little family. But after the conversation that I'd had with Sam today, I would much rather stick around and watch a bunch of vampires playing house. _Anything_ would be better than going back to Sam now that I knew his true feelings.

_Come on, don't make us do this._ I was surprised at how desperate I sounded.

_My mind is made up._ Jacob stood his ground.

I grunted in frustration, _This isn't fair, Jacob_! I whined.

_Nothing in life is ever fair,_ Jacob shrugged. _Get over it and grow up._

His words hit me harder than I expected. This wasn't about me growing up. In fact, if anything, after everything I had been through in my life, I had been _forced_ to grow up _too_ fast. My life had been nothing but one devastating disaster after another.

I remembered how a few days ago, I had been waiting for something to come crashing in on me. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Well, this was it. Every time something good happens, something bad is not far behind. My head was over-heating with thoughts. It was too much for me to handle.

I spit at Jacob as I lunged forward to get out of here before I killed him

_Go to hell, Jacob. Enjoy your little demon seed._

He didn't say anything back to me. That was fine. I didn't care. I was back to not giving a crap about anything anymore. Seth and Quil had phased out. I wasn't ready to phase back yet. I figured I would spend as much time as I could _thinking_ about how pissed I was at Jacob for not talking to me about this first. What happened to me being his second in command? How could he make _this_ big of a decision without consulting me?

I think I was half-way through my second lap around the Cullen's property when I realized that Jacob and Embry were still sitting in the clearing, staring at each other. I could tell through Embry's thoughts that he was just as furious as I was. Even though we were all three still wolves, I was still too pissed to say anything. Embry wasn't.

I slowed my pace and perked up to listen to what Embry had to say to Jacob

_Jake, this isn't cool man,_ Embry frowned. _Going back to Sam? Really?_

Jacob shrugged, _I didn't know you had a problem with Sam._

_I'm not thinking about me,_ he snapped. _Did you give any__ thought about how hard this would be for __her_? He was obviously talking about me. Unless Quil had had a sex change operation that I didn't know about.

Jacob was surprised at Embry's compassionate response, _I…uh…just thought…_ he stuttered. He might as well have said "Duuhh deee deeerrr…"

_No, you didn't, did you? Because you don't think about __anything__ other than your own personal gain nowadays._

_You know how it is when you imprint._

I grumbled. I _hated_ it when people used imprinting as an excuse. Just because you had found the love of your life didn't mean you could selfishly ignore the world around you.

Embry apparently shared my views

_Don't give me that bullshit. Just because you imprint on someone, it doesn't give you the right to be a jerk to your friends. __Especially__ after all they have done for you. After the loyalty we've all shown, most noticeably Leah._ Embry pointed out that I had been pretty damn dedicated to his pack.

Jacob mumbled something about me just wanting to get away from Sam. It's true that things had started out that way. I would have done _anything_ to get out from under Sam's command. Hell, I would have become the leeches' personal slave, which I damn near did. But as time went on, I actually started to take my choice seriously. I pushed myself to change to become a better person for Jacob, so I could belong to his pack.

Again, Embry agreed with me, _She followed you. She protected vampires for you. She went against __everything__ she ever believed in to help you. And now you're going to force her to go back to the person who hurt her most in her life? That's really shitty, man._

_I don't expect you to understand, Embry._ Jacob shook his head in frustration. _I know you don't see it, but I'm doing what has to be done. This is the right thing for everyone._

_No, it's the right thing for __you__ and your new little happy family,_ Embry snapped hatefully.

Jacob was surprised at Embry's hostility. _I thought you were okay with the way things are now._

_You think I __want__ to be here protecting a bunch of bloodsucking vermin? I'm here because __she's__ here, and because you're my friend, which is why I'm not tearing your head off right now._

To hell with that. I was hoping he would go for Jake's jugular.

Embry continued, _I won't deny that the Cullens aren't __completely__ evil. But I never thought I'd see the day where Jacob Black would be Edward Cullen's little bitch…_

That statement nearly caused me to run into a tree. I slowed down and curved my path a little to avoid looking like a jackass.

Jacob's jaw was open in shock. I think he was too surprised to be angry

_That's harsh. I thought you were __supposed__ to be my friend._ He took a defensive stance against Embry.

Embry's hackles stood up and he crouched into a defensive position as well

_And I thought you were supposed to be __ours__._ He made sure to emphasize the plural.

They stayed silent for a minute. I could feel how tense they both were. For a second, I thought that this would turn into a fight, but Jacob eased up and sat down.

He let out a sigh, _Nessie is important to me, Embry. I'm just trying to take care of the girl I love._

_Yeah? Well, so am I,_ Embry growled.

Even though I knew how Embry felt about me, it was still surprising to hear the admission aloud.

Embry sighed and stood up. Something told me that this conversation was close to being over

_You do what you have to do, Jake._ He slowly started walking out of the clearing. _But I refuse to let you push her back to Sam,_ he grumbled. _If you do this, the Volturi will be the __least__ of your worries._ He let out a threatening snarl.

_You're not going to fight with me, Embry._ Jacob sounded confident.

_As pissed as I am right now, you wouldn't last five seconds. Wouldn't be much of a fight,_ Embry shrugged.

_Are you __really__ going to disobey my orders?_ Jacob questioned.

_See, here's the thing Jake...you've forgotten that we were __friends__ before we started taking orders from you._ Embry was out of Jacob's sight now. I watched as the forest started to whiz by Embry's eyes. _If you want me on your side when the Volturi comes, you better think long and hard about where __your__ loyalties lie._

I shifted my view from Embry's eyes to Jacob's. He was sitting stunned in the clearing alone with a dazed look on his face. I didn't feel sorry for him. He had brought this on himself.

I could still feel the conflicting emotions that Jacob had going on even after he'd phased back. He shouldn't be concerned. Even though Embry had been absolutely right in everything he had just said to Jacob, I knew that we would all eventually be a part of his pack again. Just because Jacob had forgotten his loyalties to _us_, didn't mean that we weren't still loyal to _him_.

After all, it was better than the alternative. None of us wanted to go back to Sam. There had to be another way.


	44. Think, Leah Think!

_I try to hold on to a time when nothing mattered_

_And I can't explain what happened_

_And I can't erase the things that I've done_

_No I can't_

_How could this happen to me? I made my mistakes_

_Got no where to run_

_The night goes on_

_As I'm fading away_

_I'm sick of this life_

_I just want to scream_

_How could this happen to me?_

_-"Untitled," Simple Plan_

* * *

**Chapter 44:**

**Think Leah, think!**

I phased back and went back to La Push. But I _didn't_ go to Sam. There was no way I was going to do that, not even if Jacob _commanded_ us to do it.

Embry had offered to take me out to try and forget about what Jacob was doing. But I was in too bad of a mood to do anything but go home and lock myself in my room. I took a rain check and thanked Embry for standing up for me when no one else would. He was certainly shaping up to be the best boyfriend I'd ever had. Not too over-protective, but not a total wimp either.

When I walked through the front door, I saw that my mother was reading a magazine in the chair in the living room.

"Where's Charlie?" I questioned. I hadn't been gone for very long. I'm sure that Charlie hadn't gone home just yet.

"He's driving Billy home." My mom looked up from reading whatever garbage that was in those smut magazines this week. I glanced at the cover and snorted. Looks like Britney Spears was back in the tabloids again. I wonder what she'd done this time. I felt kind of bad for her. She was going to be a Hollywood tabloid until she was like ninety. I could see the headline now, _Former Pop Star throws her dentures at Photographer._

I didn't say anything else as I plopped down on the sofa.

After a minute, my mom got up from the chair and sat down next to me.

"Leah, I want to know what's going on…"

And I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted to scream out, "Mommy, Sam and Jacob were mean to me. Call their parents," but I couldn't.

"How did your talk with Sam go?" she questioned.

Oh, she meant everything with Sam. Well, I was pleased that's what she was focused on instead of what Seth and I were _truly_ hiding from her.

"I called him a dickhead and punched him." This is something that I didn't have to lie to her about. In fact, there had been several times when I had unsuccessfully talked to Sam. And though I had never punched him before, I had _always_ called him a dickhead. "So, yeah…didn't go well…"

My mother didn't seem surprised.

"At least tell me Emily wasn't around to hear you screaming at one another."

"She wasn't home." I shrugged. I frowned. "I kind of wished she had been." If Emily had been at the house, I'm sure that the conversation we'd had would have been _a lot_ different. "But, you know…whatever. Sam and I got _some_ stuff out of the way."

The conversation hadn't been a _total_ loss. Now that I had had time to compose myself and think about all that was said, I think that we both got a lot off of our chests. I think I was beginning to calm down. Either that, or I had moved on from being upset at Sam to being very pissy with Jacob.

"That's good, dear." My mom nodded. "You didn't break any of his bones, did you?" she asked warily.

"No." Of course, I had _thought_ about it. I still wasn't sure whether or not my hit had broken his jaw. But even if it had, it was healed by now. And he deserved it.

I saw that my mother's concentration was no longer on me. She gazed down the hallway with a worried expression on her face.

"Everything okay?" I questioned. She was always so busy asking me if _my_ life was going alright that sometimes I forgot to make sure that _her_ life was going okay.

"Just…concerned." How very motherly of her.

"About what?"

"Do you have any idea what's bothering your brother?" My mom faced me again. "When he got home, he was really upset. He's locked himself in his room and won't come out…"

I tried not to laugh. Sounds like Seth's plan was a lot like mine. The kid and I had more in common than I realized.

"He's a teenager." I shrugged.

"I don't know. I think it's more than that. When he got home, Billy asked him if he'd seen Jacob today, and Seth told him that _his son_ was off prancing around in some show-ring trying to be the Cullen's top dog. Then he proceeded to rant about how unfair his life had become." I saw her brow tense up. "I believe his exact words were 'Jacob is an ungrateful little bastard.'"

Wow. _Go Seth_. It wasn't very often that Seth would voice his disapproval's out loud. He must be pretty angry at Jacob for him to have gone off on Billy like he supposedly had.

I wondered how my mom had reacted.

"What did you do?"

"I sent him to his room!" she exclaimed. "He just grumbled and said he was heading that way anyway…" She shook her head. "What could have possibly gotten into him? He seemed _fine_ when he left the house earlier. He was even chatting with Billy about the next council meeting. He offered to bake a batch of cookies for the tribe."

So my brother was a baker now too? I sighed. How many times was I going to have to kick other kid's asses for making fun of his hobbies? Then I remembered that Seth was a wolf, albeit a baking, scrap-booking wolf. But he could most certainly take care of himself.

"I wouldn't worry too much." I placed my hand reassuringly on my mom's arm. "He's probably just doing the normal teenage angst thing. You know the "Wah, my life is over. I hate everything and everyone and nothing is ever going to make me feel better, so leave me in a dark room to die" bit." I smiled.

I didn't want her worrying about us. The more concerned she became, the more questions she would ask. And I wanted to protect her from the answers. So I gave her a generic, yet truthful, response. She bought it.

"God, I have to go through that _again_?" She buried her face in her hands. I hadn't been the easiest teenager in the world to deal with. I _never_ held back what I was feeling, and I was constantly getting into trouble. I remember that dad wasn't the one who'd frightened me. Mom was. She meant business.

Any time I did something wrong, my mom would be the one to kick my ass. All I had to do to get out of being punished by my dad was bat my eyes and start to whimper like a baby. It worked every time. My mom didn't play that game. One time I had tried the whole "whimper" thing with her and she told me that unless I wanted to end up in a dog crate, I'd better cut that shit out. I never tried to sucker her again.

So far, she had been lucky with Seth. He was a pretty good kid. He stayed out of trouble. He didn't drink or do drugs. He was always polite. He did what was asked of him. And he cared about _everything _with all of his heart. He was every parent's wet dream.

"He's fifteen. It's an awkward time."

"Yeah, but I was just hoping that he would skip this phase. I really didn't want to do it again." She frowned. "I wonder how he'll handle his issues…" She looked at me and smiled. "You certainly kept it interesting…" She chuckled. "One time you got so upset that you locked yourself inside the dryer for three hours…"

"I remember." I could vividly recall getting so depressed over some stupid teenage thing that I had crawled into our dryer and refused to come out.

"Seth wanted to turn it on." My mom laughed. She shook her head. "I was so angry that you'd disrupted my laundry cycle that I almost let him…" She paused and looked back to my brother's room. "Next time the two of you are wolves, check in on his thoughts for me, would you?"

"You want me to _spy_ on him?"

"Just…find out what's bothering him." She bit her lip.

"He and Jake got into it. That's all." I couldn't lie to her anymore. Hopefully that would be enough information to get her off my case. Now I just had to hope she wouldn't ask _why_ they were fighting.

Lucky for me, she didn't.

"Well, as long as he's not on drugs…" She paused and looked at me. "He isn't, is he?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes mom. He spends all of his free time smoking crack and shooting up…" I sighed and then got serious again. "There's nothing wrong with him. He's a teenage werewolf. Every now and then, he's going to have a bad day…"

She smiled at me and touched my cheek. "I guess you're right."

I put my hand up to hers and smirked. "Of course. I'm _always_ right."

She took notice of the warmth of my skin against hers and she dropped her hand and suddenly looked at the ground. I could tell that something was bothering her. She wouldn't look me in the eyes.

"Leah…I understand that there are certain things that are just between you and your brother. But I'm not a fool…"

"Huh?" I was caught off-guard.

"Billy had to leave because of Bob and Mary Jackson's son…"

I tried to remember the kid's name. "Justin?"

"Yeah."

I didn't understand why Billy would have to go talk to Justin Jackson. The kid was eleven-years-old. What trouble could he be getting into?

It took a minute for it to sink in. Jacob had said that more wolves were joining Sam's pack. Justin was a descendant of the Quileutes. But…he was so young. She couldn't possibly mean…

She looked up from the ground and into my eyes.

"Apparently he's been running quite the fever lately…"

A werewolf…at eleven-years-old. Man, did that _suck_. I was completely depressed about the fact that these new wolves, not even teenagers yet, would be facing certain death in a month. I was already upset enough that I couldn't talk Seth out of the battle. I had tried begging and pleading with my brother to stay out of it. He'd told me to bite him. Which I then did. He got pissed and bit me back.

But _eleven_? The kid had barely even begun to live. How could someone who didn't even have arm-pit hair fight against a pack of vicious vampires?

"And he's not the first, either." My mom frowned. "Michael Gardner and Nicolas Parks have both started "sneaking out" and keeping secrets from their parents."

Both boys were twelve. This was completely devastating to me. I knew that new wolves would be developing, but I wasn't expecting them to be so young.

"Uh huh…" I pushed myself to nod like an idiot. I was just stunned.

"Billy said Sam isn't telling him the whole story." And if he knew what was good for him, he _wouldn't_ tell the Council what was going on. "But I was kind of hoping that you would be honest with me…"

My thoughts were rushing at a million miles a minute. What good would telling them the truth do? We were all as good as dead anyway. But with everything that I'd been through today, did I have the strength left to _lie_ to my mom again?

No. But I _could_ do what I always did when I was left with no other option…

I snorted, "Why don't you just ask _Sam_ what he isn't telling you?" This was going to be hard. Being a bitch usually came so naturally to me. But not when it came to my mom. "_He's_ the leader here. Not me."

My mom didn't look upset by my snappy attitude.

"I know. But I thought that maybe you could save me the trouble and just talk to me."

I didn't have any other option. She'd backed me into a corner.

"After twenty years, you chose _now_ to start actually parenting me?" It was completely untrue and below the belt. But I was about two seconds away from blabbing the entire truth to her. And I didn't want to do that.

"I could do with a little less attitude from you," she snapped back.

Good. She was angry. Anger was better than sorrow. After next month, she would have plenty of opportunities to grieve in sorrow. But for now, anger was the key.

"Look, I'm sorry," I stayed with the bitchy tone. "I've just had an irritating morning. The thing with Sam has me all emotional and shit…"

"Yeah, I'm not buying it." My mom obviously didn't believe that Sam had me _this_ upset. "I'm not stupid. I know something big is coming…"

I heard a car pull up the driveway. Charlie was back. I glanced to the front door.

My mom didn't take her eyes off me.

"Just because he's here doesn't mean we aren't going to finish this conversation."

Crap. Looks like I was going to have to lie after all. "Okay, I get that you're worried about us…" I heard Charlie shut his car door. "...but there's no need to be." _Lie number one_. "We can handle what's going on." _Lie number two_. "You just have to trust that everything will work out." _Three for three_. "There's nothing to be concerned about." _Four._ "Seth and I both are going to be fine…" _And five._

I had told five lies in less than thirty seconds. I watched my mom's reaction carefully. As she mulled it over, I heard Charlie's boots on the front porch.

"Just promise me that you'll let me help if you get yourselves in over your head." Well, that was a bit pointless now.

I faked a smile. "Of course."

Great. Now, not only was I liar, but I was going to break a promise to my mother, too.

"Go and have fun with Charlie." I said just as the front door swung open.

He saw the two of us on the couch. "You girls hungry?"

"We're going out to lunch. Would you like to come?" Mom questioned.

I shook my head. "I'm not hungry."

"Seth!" my mom called down the hallway. "Do you want to go out to eat with Charlie and me?"

"No! I'm just going to stay here and wait to die! Thanks!" Seth exclaimed.

"You sure?" she asked my brother one last time.

He was brattier this time.

"I already said 'no!' I'm in a bad mood!" There was a pause and Seth added, "I might even set something on fire!"

My mother frowned at his dramatics. "Just make sure it looks like an accident! I don't think our insurance covers arson!"

My mother glanced at me and I smiled at her. "I'll make sure he stays out of the dryer."

She walked to where Charlie was standing. I stood up and started towards my room.

"I love you, Leah," she called from behind me.

God, she was making me feel like shit. I turned around and faked another smile so she wouldn't see my pain. "Love you, too, mom. Have fun…"

I couldn't get to my bedroom fast enough. I slammed my door behind me and fell backwards on to my bed. I heard the front door open and then close. I growled out a frustrated grunt. It was official. This day _sucked_. Plain and simple. I hated keeping things from my mother. I hated that Jacob was being such an ass. I hated that Sam still had my heart when I _wanted_ to give it to Embry. I hated that my brother and I…and the rest of my pack were going to die.

I felt my anger boiling to the surface. I frantically looked around and spotted a stress-relief ball that I had invested in when Sam broke up with me. I grabbed it and started to pump it aggressively. As I looked at the bright red ball, I stopped a moment to think about how ironic it was. Red. What a _stupid_ color to relieve aggression.

I squeezed it again. "This damn thing is not working." I got frustrated and threw the ball into my wall. It chipped some paint and made a dent. I let out a laugh. Ha, that _did_ make me feel better. Guess it wasn't completely useless after all. I glanced at the small dent the ball had left. I must have thrown it pretty hard for something _that_ soft to cause that kind of damage.

I laid on my bed grumbling to myself about the fact that it was just my luck to actually start to find some happiness in my life, and now I was going to lose that in four weeks trying to save the life of a leech that I couldn't stand. Was there anything in my life that _wasn't_ complicated?

I was drawn out of my thoughts when I heard a loud noise coming from my brother's room. Naturally, I was curious as to what Seth was up to. I made my way to his room and tapped lightly on the door.

"No one's home!" There was a frantic edge to his voice.

"What was that noise?" I questioned.

"What noise? I didn't hear anything." Even though I couldn't see his face, I could tell that he was lying.

I shrugged. Seth didn't have any problem barging into my room. I turned his doorknob.

Nothing could have prepared me for what I found on the other side of the door. Seth was leaning against his wall with a stupid bashful grin across his face. I glanced down and saw that his arm was extending to the wall with his fist disappearing into the paint.

I didn't say anything for a moment. I just stared in shock.

Seth let out a grumble, "Are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me?"

"I'm going to laugh at you!" I honked out a laugh. Was he _stuck_? I tried to contain my laughter. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Punching things always seems to help you…" Seth looked at me sheepishly.

"But I don't put my fist _all_ the way through the wall you idiot!" I exclaimed.

I walked over to survey the damage. His fist was caught in the sheet rock.

"Just help me pull…" Seth rolled his eyes.

I grabbed his wrist and started tugging. A few seconds later, his hand was free. I watched as some dust fell to the floor. Seth flexed his fingers. There was some dried up blood from an already healed wound on one of his knuckles.

Seth bit his lip. "Mom's gonna be mad."

"You're damn right she is." I tried my best not to die laughing. "You know, you could have hit the electrical wires."

"Well, as you so kindly pointed out earlier, we're going to die soon anyway." Seth shrugged.

"Yep. So there's only one thing left to do…" I smiled at him. He waited for me to continue, "Wanna get trashed? I know where mom keeps the good liquor." I tried to lighten the mood. It was amazing that my mood had gone from ansty and dark to hilariously entertained in such a short amount of time. Seeing Seth stuck in the wall had brought tears to my eyes…in a good way. I'd laughed so hard that I cried. God bless my stupid brother.

Seth frowned at me. "You're asking your _fifteen_ year old brother if he wants to get drunk?"

"Oh, come on. Lighten up." I snickered as I walked out of his room and towards the kitchen. He followed me out of curiosity.

I had seriously thought about raiding mom's liquor cabinet, but decided that in the end, it probably wasn't the best decision. I could just see me overdoing it on Jack Daniels and staggering over to the Cullen's to give Jacob a piece of my mind. Never mind the fact that I'd probably be so out of it that I'd get lost on the way out there and end up on a bus to Vegas or something.

I opted for a Coke instead. I grabbed one for Seth and tossed it to him.

"Here ya go, slugger…"

Seth sighed and sat down at the table.

"How do you manage to do this _all the time_?" he questioned.

"Do what?"

"Be so _angry_," he said with a frown. "Man, this bitterness stuff is _hard._ You make it look so easy…"

"It's an art form." I grinned.

"I'm just so pissed, you know? I feel like killing something…" He glanced up at me.

I jokingly took a step backwards.

Seth rolled his eyes. "I'm just sick of everyone bossing me around. First Sam used his command on me, and now Jacob. I'm tired of being everyone's bitch. I'm starting to think this "Alpha" thing turns people into jackasses."

"Well, Sam was _already_ a jackass. And Jake…well, he has a lot on his mind…" It was hard for me to defend Jacob, but I knew that he hadn't _meant_ to use his command on Seth earlier. If he wanted to, he could have used it on all of us and _literally_ forced us to go back to Sam. Knowing that still didn't make me less angry with him. "Jake will come to his senses…" I hoped. "And if he doesn't, we'll figure something out."

"Anything to keep us from going back to Sam." Seth took a sip of his drink and let out a callous laugh. "Hell, I'd just as soon follow _you_ than have to go back to Mr. Domineering."

I thought about how easily our pack ran. We were so good together. Even without Jacob around half the time, we still managed to run the perimeters just fine. He never really had to give us any orders. And I know that he didn't like to use his command. The one thing that was different about Jacob as an Alpha versus Sam was the fact that Jake let us keep our free will. I wondered, had Jacob considered the possibility of just letting us control _ourselves_?

"Uh oh, you've got that look in your eyes…" Seth glanced at me warily.

"What look?"

"You're plotting something, aren't you?"

I smiled. "I think I've got an idea…"

"_That's_ never good." Seth frowned. "The last time you had an "idea," I ended up at the Fire Station in women's clothing…"

"Call Quil and tell him to meet us at the beach." I raced out the door, probably leaving Seth in a state of confusion.

As I raced to Embry's place, I was running various scenarios in my head. I didn't know if my plan would work.

But it was worth a shot.


	45. So, we're rebels What else is new?

_Well, maybe there's a God above_

_But all I've ever learned from love_

_Is how to shoot someone who'd out drew you_

_And it's not a cry that you hear at night_

_It's not somebody who's seen the light_

_It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah_

_"Hallelujah"_

_-Jeff Buckley_

* * *

**Chapter 45:**

**So, we're rebels? What else is new?**

After I dragged Embry out of his house, I met Seth at the beach where we normally had the tribal bonfires. It had been a while since I had actually gone to one, considering I wasn't _really_ part of the tribe anymore. None of us really were. We were the "outlaws." Aka, the idiots who protected vampires.

"Where's Quil?" I questioned.

Seth pointed down the beach towards the shore, and I saw Quil dragging a screaming child away from the water.

"He brought _Claire_ to a meeting with werewolves?" I frowned.

Seth just shrugged, "Her mother wanted to know if he would watch her. Apparently shopping for a wedding and three-year-olds _don't_ mix. It seems that she smeared pudding on a Vera Wang wedding dress."

I snorted out a laugh. I could just see some uptight prissy salesclerk freaking out, and frantically pulling her hair out, _It's smudged! Oh, God, it's smudged! The world is over!_ The way people freaked out over the stupidest things surprised me. But apparently panicking made _every_ situation oh, so much better.

Embry added nonchalantly, "It's not like she'll understand anything we're saying anyway. Toddler's speak a completely different language than us."

His words were cut off by Claire's cry of disappointment, "I wanna swim!"

"I told you baby girl, it's too cold today." Quil picked Claire up, and walked over to where we were standing.

Claire put her hands on Quil's cheeks and pressed them together. Well, she definitely had his attention. "But I wanna be a mermaid," she pouted.

He chuckled as he looked at us. "She's got this thing for mermaid's now," he explained. "She watches _The Little Mermaid_ every freakin day." I could hear a bit of frustration in his voice. It was a cute little movie, but I could see where it would get annoying after a while.

"Qwil, put me down now pwease…" Claire smiled sweetly.

"Okay, but you promise to stand right here and hold my hand?" Quil questioned.

She nodded her head enthusiastically, so Quil sat her down. She glanced up at him, and then looked at the rest of us. She let out a devious chuckle, and then raced towards the water letting out squeals of laughter.

"Clever little thing." I couldn't help but laugh. God, Quil was a sucker. I could have told him that Claire was playing him, but I thought it would be more comedic if I just let her do her thing. Watching him stumble around clumsily and cluelessly after her was the funniest thing I'd seen in a while.

"How long does this terrible twos thing last? She's _three_…" Quil sighed as he raced after her. A few minutes later, he returned. Claire had managed to somehow stay dry, while Quil was soaking wet from head to toe.

Claire was going to be trouble when she got older. I could see that now.

"Just wait until she starts throwing tantrums." I laughed.

"Already been there." Quil put Claire down. "I found out the hard way that she hates to wear shoes now for some reason." He paused and looked down at Claire, who looked like she was ready to bolt again. "She gave me a black eye." He grabbed her tiny hand in his firmly so she couldn't run off again. She twisted around, and played with her hair with her free hand.

First, Seth had lost a fight with his wall. And now, I was hearing that Quil could get his ass kicked by a three-year-old. Maybe this day wasn't so bad after all.

"So, what's up, Leah?" Seth asked what I know they were all thinking.

"Well, you gave me an idea when we were talking in the kitchen earlier." I looked at my brother. Embry and Quil looked at him as well. He just shrugged. He didn't know what I was thinking anymore than they did. "I know I'm not the only one pissed about Jacob's decision."

I heard the three of them grumble in agreement. Seth, in particular, grumbled the loudest.

"But, did you guys notice that Jake never _commanded_ that we go to Sam?" I asked.

"Uh, yeah he did," Seth frowned.

I shook my head. "No, he told us to go _home_. And even then, it wasn't a command, or else Embry and I wouldn't have been able to stay wolves."

There was such an easy answer to this solution that I had _completely_ overlooked it before.

"Jake's never _commanded_ us to do anything." I glanced at Seth. "Except when he lost his temper with you today." I paused, and then shook my head. "That was partly my fault for riling him up. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Seth smiled at me. "You're my sister. I'm used to you getting me into trouble."

"Let's not forget that Jake never wanted to be the leader." I pointed out.

"And this speech is supposed to make us feel better about the fact that we're unwanted?" Quil lifted an eyebrow at me.

"The thing is, he's a completely different Alpha than Sam," I said. "Jacob won't use his command because he promised we could keep our free-will. He's hoping that we'll go back to Sam because he asked us to."

"What are you getting at, Leah?" Seth leaned forward in anticipation. "You think we can break off and form our own pack or something?"

"Probably not. The only reason we were ever able to get away from Sam is because Jacob is the true Alpha. I don't think any of us can push past Jacob. But, we _can_ ignore him."

"Yeah, until he phases and sees we aren't doing what he asked us to do," Quil frowned.

"What's the worst he can do to us?" I shrugged. I certainly wasn't afraid of Jacob Black. "Besides, I don't think he'll force us back to La Push. He'll see there isn't any point. When I set my mind to something, there's no stopping me."

"Boy, isn't that the truth?" I heard Seth murmur under his breath.

"Jake and I are very much alike." I turned up my nose in aggravation admitting that. "We're both very stubborn-willed individuals who will fight with our last breath to assure that we're doing what's right. I think that's why he put me second in command." I reminded them that Jacob wasn't the only one of us who could give orders. "At first, I didn't really see the point in the whole "second in command" thing. But now, I get it," I nodded. "It's like why the Vice President exists. If something should happen to the Commander in Chief..." I paused. "...like, say, _ours_, has completely lost his marbles…" I thought of the fact that Jacob was going to willingly let vampires hunt and kill humans just outside our borders, and there was nothing we could do about it. "It's my job to make sure that _I_ do what's right for us."

I let the idea sink into their heads. The beach was completely silent aside from the waves swishing along the shore, and Claire humming "Under the Sea" from _The Little Mermaid_ quietly to herself.

Seth was the first to speak up, "You want _us_ to follow…_you_?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure no one here wants to go back to _Sam's_ command." I shuddered at the thought of that. "We're technically still a part of Jake's pack. But everything he tells us to do will be filtered by me."

"Unless he commands us?" Quil was uncertain.

I was confident that he wouldn't. He was going to be pissed when he found out that I was leading an uprising against him, but I still don't think he'd _force_ us back to Sam. Maybe he would get used to the idea of me taking charge for now. Either that, or he'd kill me.

"I don't think he'll take away our free-will." I had to believe that Jacob was better than that. "So, what do you say? Is it a mutiny?" I smirked.

Embry put his arm around me and laughed, "My girl, the rebel," he smirked from ear to ear.

"So, you're with me?"

"Hell, yeah. I'm game," Embry nodded.

"Language…" Quil glanced at Claire, who was completely oblivious to the fact that the adults were having a conversation. She was squatting at Quil's feet, and burying them in the sand. "I already got reamed out after she came home one day and told her mother that I had _busted my ass_ on the swing-set."

We all laughed.

"You've been bossing me around for my entire life." Seth glanced at me. "I guess a few more weeks couldn't hurt." Seth was in on my plan as well.

"…And then there was one." I looked at Quil.

He was going to be the toughest one to convince. He and I had never really gotten along. And the idea of _me_ being in charge of him couldn't have been easy for him to swallow. But, unless he wanted to go back to Sam's command, he was left with no other option.

"I don't know if it'll work." Quil shook his head.

"It's worth a shot." I couldn't believe how optimistic my voice sounded. I must have been really confident about this. Interesting.

"It might upset Jacob quite a bit."

Oh, yes. And we wouldn't want Jacob to get his little _feelings_ hurt.

"It's not like I'm overthrowing him as Alpha," I shrugged. I was just taking control until he stopped being such a moron. "I'm just reminding him that he made me second in command for a reason."

Quil still looked unsure. There was only one way to sway him. I had mixed feelings about it. I didn't like to manipulate people. But Quil wasn't going to listen to _me_.

I leaned down to the three-year-old playing mindlessly in the sand.

"What do you think Claire? Should Quil grow a pair and help Auntie Leah out?" I asked.

She grinned at me, and then turned to Quil and put her arms out for him to pick her up. He lifted her off of the ground.

"Wisten to Weah Qwil." Claire pat his shoulder.

Hot damn. The kid was _already_ good at emotional blackmail. She was a natural.

"Real nice, Leah." Quil frowned disapprovingly at me. "Using a three-year-old?"

"Kids are smart," I said. "You should listen to her." I tried to hold my laughter in.

"Yeah!" Claire piped in. "Pweeease?"

Quil sighed and then looked at me. "Okay, count me in."

Sweet success. Even though sometimes Quil got on my nerves, I was glad that he'd decided to stay. I know the pack wouldn't be the same without him. I tried to make a mental note not to be too hard on him. The next couple of weeks were going to be difficult enough. I could see that every time he looked at Claire, he was afraid that it would be the last time he saw her. I wonder if Embry felt that way.

I looked over at him. He didn't seem distressed. He smiled at me. I think that he still thought we were going to get out of this alive. He was such an optimist. He was the complete opposite of me. Maybe that's why we worked so well together.

I saw Seth pondering something. "So, what about Sam's pack?" he questioned. "Are we still going to run with them?"

"Probably. The perimeters still need to be guarded, especially with as many _visitors_ that will be in town," I frowned.

"And the Cullen's land?" Quil asked.

It was weird having them all look to me for answers. In the past, we had always just always done what we assumed Jake wanted us to do.

"We should probably keep our time there to a minimum." Jacob probably didn't want us coming into contact with any of the vampires. "A sweep every now and then wouldn't hurt." I said that mainly for myself. I just wanted to check in on Jacob occasionally to make sure that he wasn't dead or anything, though after the way he'd just tossed us aside, death by vampires was something the giant turd deserved.

"Are we going to tell Jake, or just wait until he phases and figures out that we're doing our own thing?" Embry asked.

"I'll talk to Jacob." The next comment was a lot harder to force out. "And Sam." _Both_ Alpha's needed to know what was going on. And they deserved to hear it in person. I just hoped that the conversations I had with the two of them went better than our talks earlier today.

Luckily, the tension in the air was broken when Claire exclaimed excitedly, "Sea shell!" She pointed her fingers madly around at a shell that had caught her eye. Quil let her down, and she hopped over to it happily. "Come wook Qwil! Pwetty!"

"Good luck with the talk. Hope Jacob doesn't yell at you too much," Quil shrugged. He glanced at Claire, who had her shoes off, and was trying to pull off her shirt.

"Um, why is she stripping?" Seth questioned.

"Because mermaids don't wear clothes." That was the weirdest sentence I'd ever heard come out of Quil's mouth. "I should probably get her home before she strips down completely and ends up with pneumonia." He waved as he walked over to Claire.

We watched as Quil chased Claire around the beach, trying to convince her to put her clothes back on. It was hilarious, especially when she threw one of her shoes into the water and made Quil fish it out.

Seth left not long after Quil. He'd said something about trying to find a way to cover the hole in his wall so mom wouldn't see it. I wished him luck. If there was a trick to keeping mom from finding holes in the walls, I didn't know what it was. Even when I covered them up, she always seemed to know they were there.

Embry and I walked along the shore silently. I thought about how drastically this day had changed. My brain was working on complete information overload. I watched as the sun got lower in the sky. I wondered how many vampires were at the Cullen's place now. My conversation with Jacob was going to be interesting, to say the least.

Embry noticed how deep in thought I was. "You're awful quiet."

"It's been a long day. And ending it by talking to Jake and Sam is going to be tough," I admitted. I had gotten past trying to be this "tough bitch" in front of Embry. I knew that I could lighten up, and let him know what I was really feeling. He was going to love me no matter what. That was a good feeling. I grabbed his hand as we strolled. He squeezed mine back.

"You know, you don't have to talk to Sam again if you don't want to," Embry said. "You could just let Jacob tell him."

If only it were that easy. Sam and I weren't finished with the conversation we had started this morning. I was thinking that after I told him there was no way I was going to be his bitch again, we could finish what we'd started earlier. But I was having some trouble going from, _There's no way in hell that I would ever run with you again, you controlling jackass_ to _I'm done caring about you. I don't want to love you anymore._

I thought about how Embry had stood up for me today. I knew he'd seen the conversation I'd had with Sam. He knew about Sam's admissions. And he knew about mine. Yet, he was still here with me, following my every move.

"I'm _trying_ not to love Sam." I pretty much blurted out.

"I know." Embry didn't sound upset. God, was he a saint or something?

I laughed, "Why do you put up with me?"

He took a moment to consider his answer. "I like a challenge." I saw a smile break across his face.

"Are you calling me difficult?" I couldn't help but smile back.

"I'd say that's an understatement." Embry teased me.

"Just for _that_, you can _forget_ me going to your Senior Prom with you." I joked.

Embry faked a gasp, "You mean I _won't_ have to listen to torturous music for hours on end while I prove to the world how much I _can't_ dance? Oh, _how_ will I go on?" he asked sarcastically.

"You're begging for me to punch you, aren't you?"

"Go ahead," he chuckled. "But just so you know, unlike Sam, I won't go down from just _one_ little girly smack."

I didn't know whether or not I was ready to laugh at that. So I just stayed silent.

"Oh, come on, I was just messing around," Embry said softly.

"So, what Sam and I talked about today doesn't bother you at _all_?" I asked.

"Of course it does. I don't like to see you upset."

"But you aren't upset over the fact that Sam and I still have feelings for one another?" I questioned. I watched Embry's face carefully to analyze what he was thinking.

"You two have been through a lot," he said. I don't know how he managed to stay so calm about this entire situation. Any other guy would have been beating down Sam's door and threatening to shoot him. But, Embry wasn't just like any other guy. "I've told you before, and I'll tell you again. I _know_ we're meant to be together. I can be patient. You don't have to worry. I _will_ wait for you."

I knew all of this, yet somehow I felt like I was hearing it for the first time. Maybe it's because I had refused to accept that someone like him actually loved someone like me.

He noticed the puzzled expression on my face. "What's wrong?"

"You just baffle me. I'm continuously asking myself why someone like you wants to be with someone like me."

"You don't give yourself enough credit, Leah. You've got more going for you than you realize."

I sighed, "I can't believe you're comforting me after seeing the conversation that Sam and I had today."

"Well, what would you have me do?" he questioned.

"I don't know. Get mad. Scream at me or something." I didn't know how to handle Embry's acceptance.

"You _want_ me to get mad?" He looked surprised.

I nodded. Embry shrugged, and then grabbed me by the waist. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder like I was some two-year-old.

I laughed, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Getting mad." Embry smirked as he walked towards the water.

"Oh, no, you wouldn't dare!" I exclaimed. "Embry Call, you put me down!"

"But I'm _sooo_ angry." He rolled his eyes.

He waded into the water a few feet and then stopped. I watched the current splashing against his calves. I felt him shift his weight as he tossed me forward into the water. It was freezing. Quil had been right to stop Claire from swimming today. If it was _this_ cold to a werewolf, I can't imagine what it felt like to a human.

I stood up and spit some water out of my mouth. Embry was doubled over laughing at me.

"That's it, Leah, doggie paddle!" he exclaimed with a laugh.

"Oh, I get it, because I'm a _dog_. Ha, ha. _Very_ funny." I sloshed towards the shore.

I stopped a few feet in front of him. He was still laughing at me.

"You're all wet…"

"Hey, my foot's stuck on something. Give me a hand here." I reached out for Embry's help.

Embry leaned forward to help me. I smiled. He didn't suspect a thing. As I got my hands around his arms, I let out a chuckle.

"Big mistake, Call…"

"Oh, crap…" Embry realized what I was up to.

I yanked on his arms roughly and pulled him forward, sending him toppling into the water face first.

He stood up after a minute and nodded, "Hmm, I shoulda seen that coming."

We waded out of the water and back on to the shore. The sun was rapidly disappearing over the cliffs. I glanced up to the cliffs overlooking the ocean and I thought about Embry's request that I cliff-dive with him if we survived the Volturi.

"Hey, why do you want me to cliff-dive so bad?"

He just grinned at me. "You'll see."

I smiled at him and leaned in to kiss him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips against his. And, now that I wasn't high on painkillers, Embry didn't feel the need to be so gentle with me. I had noticed that our embraces were definitely getting more passionate. With the warmth radiating throughout our bodies, I hardly even realized how cold I had been mere seconds ago.

I pulled away and brought my hand to the back of his head and smacked him.

"That's for getting mad at me."

"The kiss or the hit?" he asked.

"Both," I sighed happily. I glanced at the sunset. The day hasn't started out very well, but at least it was ending on a good note.

It was then that I remembered that the day wasn't over yet. I still had to talk to Jacob and Sam.

"I've gotta run. I've got to go piss Jake off."

"Want me to come?" Embry questioned.

"Nah. Jacob doesn't scare me."

"_Nothing_ scares you." Embry rolled his eyes.

That was the first thing that Embry had been wrong about since we'd started dating. There was one thing that always made me go weak in the knees. The one thing I couldn't force myself to do. Trust. How could I ever love someone when I couldn't trust them?

I pushed the thought out of my head and I forced myself to focus on talking to Jacob. I waved to Embry as I disappeared into the trees to phase.

My fur was wet. Embry had gotten me soaked from head to toe. I couldn't help but laugh as I shook the moisture out of my fur. I sprinted forward towards the Cullen's place. And though my mind should have been on what I was going to say to Jacob, I couldn't help but think of Embry.

I sighed. Damn it, I _was_ falling for him. But so far, the only thing love had brought me in my life was pain. Would this be any different?


	46. Listen to me, damn it!

_I can live with God and with suicide_

_The same thing holds if I close my eyes_

_It's a truth so pure it can kill you dead_

_A taste of heaven mixed with hell inside of my head_

_"God and Suicide" _

_-Blitzen Trapper_

* * *

**Chapter 46:**

**Listen to me, damn it!**

I was on high alert as I ran out to the Cullen's place. I wasn't sure what kind of monsters I might be in danger of running into. It was spooky running out here all by myself. I was kind of wishing that Jacob would be on all fours when I phased so that maybe he could just see my plan from my thoughts, saving me the trip out to Vampireland.

As I got closer to the house, I picked up on a new vampire scent. God, these leeches moved _fast_. I concentrated as I inhaled the smell. There were three of them a few miles ahead of me. I slowed my pace so the vampires didn't think I was hunting them. I listened closely as they chattered among themselves. I thought I could pick up an accent. Irish maybe? I peered through some bushes and saw three bloodsuckers walking at a normal human pace, which was weird. They were discussing their plans. It only took me a minute to understand _why_ they were taking their time. They seemed unsure of the Cullen's motives for bringing them out here.

One of the vampires stopped and sniffed the air. I took a few steps back. Yeah, like that would help. If they'd smelled me, there was nothing I could do about it now.

"Well, this just keeps getting stranger…" The large female leech nodded her head in interest. "Tell me, am I the only one who is picking up on an odd scent?"

The little redhead responded, "I smell it, too," she said. "Maybe the Cullens own a dog."

Psh, could a _dog_ rip a vampire limb from limb in two point four seconds flat? I tried to contain my thoughts. With my luck, they would all be freaks who could read minds like Edward.

"This is more…domesticated. There's a human component to it…"

Crap. I hope they didn't want to eat me. I'd heard how untasty we are to their kind, but just because something _tastes_ bad doesn't mean hungry people won't eat it.

"Never mind it. We are almost to the Cullen's place now." The larger woman started to run again. She had quickened their pace a bit. Were they afraid of me? I laughed. Cool.

"I don't know about this, Siobhan, dear." The male vampire shook his head. "Are you certain it isn't a trap?"

"Carlisle and I have known each other a long time, Liam. We go _way_ back, my sweet," Siobhan responded. "And besides, Maggie said that Carlisle was telling the truth. Didn't ya, darling?"

"Of course." The little redhead they were with answered perkily. I'm sure that if Alice returned, she and Maggie would get along _great_. Maggie was a tiny little thing with bright red hair. Perhaps she just looked so tiny because she was traveling with two vampires that were much larger than her. Siobhan's body was large and round, but somehow it fit her proportions. Liam had a scowl on his chiseled jaw-line. He was a big guy, too.

"It's quite convenient to carry around the human lie detector." Siobhan laughed. She winked at Maggie.

I still continued to linger as far back from the Irish clan as possible. I didn't know anything about them except for the fact that they were vampires. For all I knew, _werewolves_ were a delicacy in Ireland.

I arrived at the mansion a few minutes after the Irish did. I figured I'd give them some time to settle in and hear Nessie's story.

Apparently, there was no need. It seems that Siobhan and Liam trusted Little Maggie's talent to tell when others were lying to her. Edward explained the situation and Maggie convinced Liam and Siohban that it was all true.

I wanted to learn more about Maggie's power. There were _so_ many questions that I wanted to know the answers to. And if she was around when I asked them, no one would be able to bullshit their answers.

"So...you _always_ know when someone is lying to you?" Bella asked, impressed.

Maggie nodded with a smile on her face.

"It's convenient in relationships." I saw her grin a bit.

That _would_ be a cool power to have. I could see some middle-aged man sitting on his big fat ass, watching football on TV with his wife nagging him in the background,

"_Honey, did you take the garbage out_?"

"_Why of course, dear._"

"_Don't you lie to me you lazy bastard! Get your butt up and haul that can out to the curb right this instant!_"

_"*sigh* Yes, dear. *mumbles incoherently about not being able to lie to his wife*"_

"This wee little one is really something…" Siobhan observed Nessie playing with her mother's hair.

Edward smiled and kissed Bella. "Just like her mother…"

Ugh, _vomit_. I hated seeing their stupid family that _shouldn't_ exist in the first place. I was done being polite and letting the new guests get comfortable.

_Hey, Eddie!_ I knew the name would get on Edward's nerves. Even if the conversation with Jacob didn't go well, at least I could gloat about the fact that I had annoyed the leech. _Edwaaardooo…I need to talk to Jacob. Send him out here._

At first I thought Edward was ignoring me. But after a few minutes, Jacob came out the front door. He looked startled to see me.

"What are you doing here?" he questioned.

I just glared at him. _In order for me to answer that you're going to have to phase to talk to me you dumbass._

"I already told you what the plan was. Go home."

_Bite me._ I wasn't leaving without talking to him.

"Come on, you might scare off some of the leeches…" He seemed _worried_ about that?

_Screw them._ I sat down to let him know I wasn't going anywhere_. I'm not leaving until we talk…_

"Edward just got off the phone with Carlisle. We're expecting a clan from Egypt and the leader is already weary of coming here. I don't want to frighten him off."

_Me? Frighten a vampire? Oh, I would never do such a thing,_ I said sarcastically. _Phase damn it!_

"What do you want from me, Leah?" he sighed.

_Oh my God, how freaking dense __are__ you?_ I exclaimed. I was sitting _right_ here in front of him, as a wolf, trying to communicate with him. I would have thought the fact that I _couldn't_ answer him would have been his _first_ clue.

If there weren't so many vampires around, I would have phased to talk to him as human. But with this many bloodsuckers around, there was no way I was letting my guard down.

I let out an aggravated bark.

"Keep it down…" Jacob glanced in the house nervously.

_No._

"I'm sorry that you don't agree with what I'm doing…"

_I'm not listening to you…la, la, la…_ I hummed to myself. _Nope, can't hear you…_

"But it's really complicated." Jacob frowned. "Don't make this harder than this has to be. I'm already dealing with a lot here…"

_You suck._

"I just keep telling myself that I have to do it for Nessie…"

_Nessie sucks, too._

Edward snuck up behind Jacob and let out an aggravated groan, "Oh, for God's sake…she wants you to phase, mutt…"

Normally I would have told him to butt out of my mind, but this time I was glad that he'd intervened. If I had to rely on Jacob to understand what I was trying to tell him, I would apparently be out here all damn night.

_Thanks, Eddo._ I _had_ to come up with more irritating nicknames for him.

He rolled his eyes at me and hissed under his breath, "You can repay the favor by not speaking of my daughter in a derogatory manner."

I saw Jacob scowl at me. Apparently he didn't take too kindly to me talking about his future little wifey either.

_Okay, fine. _I shrugged. _Nessie __doesn't__ suck._ I paused. _But her parents do._

Edward disappeared back into the house without arguing with me. Jacob continued to frown at me.

_What are you waiting for_? I asked Jacob. Edward had _just_ told him what I was here for. I saw Jacob look back to the house and bite his bottom lip.

"I _know_ what you're going to say to me, Leah…"

_No, you don't._ He really didn't. Because if he _had_ known some of the things I had just said to him, he wouldn't be so calm right now.

"I don't think I should phase right now…"

_Jacob Black, if you don't get your furry ass down here in ten seconds, I will tear you up_! I growled.

Edward opened the door again.

"She's threatening violence…" I could see a hint of a smirk forming on his face. Something told me that he took pleasure in picturing me attacking Jacob. "She's not leaving until you talk to her." He said that like he _wanted_ me gone.

_Oh, but I so __love__ being out here with all you lovely bloodsuckers,_ I said sarcastically.

Edward glared at me and then looked at Jacob.

"Please just talk to her…" _So she'll leave._ I knew he wanted to say it, but he didn't.

"Why don't you just translate for us?" Jacob suggested.

_No_! I exclaimed at the same time as Edward. I was a little surprised that he agreed with me.

I didn't care. I didn't need the leech's help. With my luck, Edward would probably completely misconstrue what I was trying to say to Jacob anyway. I could totally see him making shit up just to get back at me for all the crap I had given him over the past few months.

"I know you don't want to leave Renesmee, but she is safe. Trust me on that," Edward assured Jacob. It was still so weird to see Edward and Jacob getting along. It was like after everything they'd been through, instead of it pushing them apart, it pulled them together as friends.

LAME! I snorted. Maybe they were gay lovers.

Jacob nodded at Edward, responding something in thought.

"I'll see to it that no one becomes nosy," Edward said as he disappeared into the house. My best guess is that Jacob didn't feel comfortable phasing in front of the house full of visitors.

After a few minutes, Jacob came down off the porch, shook off his clothes, and phased.

_About damn time_, I grumbled.

_You shouldn't be here…_ Jacob frowned.

_Said the werewolf in a house full of vampires…_

_I wouldn't be here either if it weren't for Nessie._

_Save your love speech for someone who cares._ I was sick of hearing about how _happy_ she made him. It's like he was freaking _gloating_ about it. Geeze, I got it. The kid was his reason for living. Just shut up about it already.

_Fine. What brings you out this way?_

_I just saw you were having a house party and I wanted to know why I wasn't invited._ I chuckled. I cleared my throat and decided to just be straight with him. _We're not happy about your decision to make us go back to La Push._ I flashed the memory of Seth, Quil, Embry, and I grumbling about being pissed at Jacob. _We want to stay close to you._

_I already told you, it's too dangerous._ Jacob shook his head.

_Dangerous?_ I scoffed. _In case you didn't get the memo, we're __werewolves__!_ I rolled my big eyes. _Here's the deal...Embry, Seth, Quil, and I don't want to go back to Sam. But you don't want us either. So, we're just going to stay somewhere in the middle for now._

Jacob grumbled, _It would be a lot easier if you just did what I told you_

_Since when have we done things the easy way_? I laughed.

_It won't be that bad. Sam and I have talked about a lot. There shouldn't be any problems if you just listen to him…_

_Well, __YOUR__ pack doesn't want to listen to someone else_.

_I already told you, it's NOT__ permanent._

_The thing is…it kind of is. We're going to die fighting the Volturi. And if I'm going out, I'm sure as hell not going out with Sam as my Alpha. If I'm going to die, I'd rather die with you._

_We're __all__ connected. It doesn't matter who's giving the orders because they're all the same anyway._

Now was as good a time as any. I showed Jacob the conversation that Seth, Quil, Embry, and I had just had on the beach. I watched Jake's reaction. He didn't seem angry like I thought he would. It seems as if he was expecting it.

_I gotta give him credit. He knows you pretty well._ Jacob nodded. _Sam assumed you would do this. I just figured you'd get pissed and beat the crap out of me. I guess I owe Sam twenty bucks. I should know better than to bet on you. You're totally unpredictable. _

_Don't pay up just yet. Our talk isn't over yet, and who's to say I won't still beat you up?_

_I think I knew on some level that you would react this way. That's why Sam and I talked about your responsibilities._ My responsibilities? What the hell did that mean? Jacob continued, _Sam and I both agree that you've come a long way. And you have proven to be a good, loyal, and accountable wolf._

_Thanks for the commendation. I'll be sure to log that away in my diary of "who the hell cares?"_

_I'm not the only one impressed by the changes you've made. Sam wants to make you his second in command…if you go back._

Okay, there were three plausible explanations for what I had just heard. The first was that it was actually true. That Sam wanted me by his side as we all volunteered to become food for the army of vampires on the way. The second was that Jacob was messing with me. He was pissed that I'd gone behind his back and led a rebellion. So he was getting back at me by being a creative asshole. Or, the third: I was just bat-shit crazy. My mind was making stuff up.

_You got pretty quiet all of a sudden._ Jacob sounded worried.

_Are you making this up? Because if you are, so help me God, I will teach Nessie how to ream you out in three different languages._ I threatened.

_Think about it. The conversation that you had with Sam earlier he was trying to tell you something…_ Jacob forced me to go back to the memory. I had been so angry at the time that I hadn't wanted to listen to a word that Sam was saying. But Jacob was right. Sam didn't want me to leave without knowing what he wanted for our packs. And the whole "spending time together" thing was because if I accepted going back to the Quileutes, we _would_ be seeing each other a lot.

_Well, I don't want to be his second_. I spit out.

I did take a moment to consider the disaster that it could have become. Sam Uley wanted Leah Clearwater to be his second in command? How drunk had he been when he came up with that idea? I wonder what the rest of his pack thought about that? It would be fun to see the look on the other wolves faces when they heard about it, particularly Jared's scowl when he found out he'd been demoted…

Jake heard that thought and quickly corrected me.

_It's not like that. Sam and Jared are tied up with the new wolves. And Sam thinks it would be wise to let Jared handle them while he takes care of the others wolves. It makes sense. You would be running interference...helping Jared when needed. But I think it would mostly be helping Sam coordinate with the others for the attack. It works out really well considering he and I can communicate so easily._

_I don't want the job,_ I snapped.

_If it's because of Sam…_

Duh! Of course it was because of Sam!

_...you should give him a chance. He's changed, too._

_He seemed like the same jerk I've always known when I was talking to him this morning._

_That's because he's worried about you. He knows how dedicated you are to my pack. He knows that you __will__ fight to the death, if that's what it comes to. I think in his own way he just wants to protect you._

Ha! The boy who ruined my life wanted to protect me? That's rich.

_I don't need anyone's protection. I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself._

_You're impossible, Leah_! I'd heard that all of my life. And I wasn't going to argue that it wasn't true. Because it was.

_Just because Sam has you convinced that everything is all "rainbows and butterflies" back home doesn't mean that it's true. I'm not going back to that crappy pack, not even if he asked me to be the damn Alpha!_

_Fine. Go back with no authority. I don't care._

_You know, I was hoping to be able to talk some sense into you. I should have known that you wouldn't listen._ I sighed. _Once a senseless moron, __always__ a senseless moron._

_You're going to do this. I don't care if I have to drag you back kicking and screaming…_

_Well then, let me roll over and start throwing a tantrum. _I plopped down on my side. Normally, I didn't do the whole theatrical bit, but I felt like messing with him tonight. _Okay, oh, Great Leader, force me to give a rats ass about what's going on in La Push. Tell me I have to run with Sam's pack because you don't think we can handle being around a few extra thousand vampires…_ I really didn't know how many leeches were coming.

Jacob paused to think for a moment and then he let out a sigh, _I'm not going to __force__ you to do anything. I'm just asking you to do what I think is best. There's more to my idea than you realize…_

_Well, your idea is stupid._

_You're pushing your luck, Leah. Go home._

I smiled. I _knew_ he wouldn't command me. So I just sat down and stared at him.

_It's your move, slick. You've got two options here. One is let us stay...on our own terms. Let me take care of the logistics, leaving you free to take care of your goblin child. Or two: Push us back to Sam and lose every friend you ever gave a damn about._

_Now, that's not fair,_ he whimpered a bit.

_Just like you said to me earlier today_, "_Nothing in life is ever fair. Get over it and grow up._" I had a hard time not hissing the words at him. I frowned angrily. _My mistake, you WON'T__ grow up. You're going to stay a stupid impulsive seventeen-year-old jerk for the next ten years while you're waiting on your freak girlfriend to catch up to you._

I could feel that had infuriated Jake. Good. After the way he was abandoning his friends, he deserved it.

_God, if I were Sam, I would've dumped you, too,_ Jacob hissed under his breath.

Wow. Huge blow to my gut.

I had expected Jacob to get mad at me. I even expected him to be hateful. But I didn't expect him to use what hurt me the most against me. I was so torn that I couldn't respond. All I wanted to do right now was bang my head against a wall until I knocked myself out. Physical pain doesn't hurt nearly as bad as emotional pain. I would have preferred that he'd just bitten off one of my legs.

Jacob could see how much he'd hurt me.

_Crap. I didn't mean it. I'm just pissed…_

But it was too late. The words had already been spoken. Instead of attacking him like I should have, I turned around and bolted into the forest. I could feel Jacob's remorse weighing heavily against him. But even though he felt bad, it still didn't make _me_ feel any better.

Jacob couldn't decide whether or not he wanted to follow me. I saw him look back to the house, where Nessie was.

He hesitated as he broke into a run after me.

_Wait, Leah…_

_Fuck off._ I finally found my words again. I increased my speed. There was no way he was going to catch me. He had just royally pissed me off. I used my emotions to help me run quicker.

_I'm sorry._ He sounded like he meant it. But I didn't care.

Why the hell was I risking my life for him? I reminded myself that he was better than Sam. And he knew that I felt that way. He was just using every possible thing he could think of to try and get me to go back to Sam. Well, it wasn't going to work. No matter what he said or did, _nothing_ would make me go back to Sam's pack.

I pushed forward even harder. I felt Jacob letting up. Good. He was giving up and going back to the leeches. He still hadn't commanded me to do anything. So my plan was working. At least...for now.


	47. Read my lips: Leave Me Alone

_Once so very long ago_

_Was when I loved you so_

_If I had only known_

_That I was blinded by my fate_

_I traded love for hate_

_Now I just sit and wait_

_Goodbye, don't say goodbye_

_I'd rather die than say goodbye_

_"Goodbye" _

_-The Coral_

* * *

**Chapter 47:**

**Read my lips: Leave me ALONE!**

By the time I got home, I had cooled off. I was still angry at Jacob, but I was no longer fantasizing about ripping his face off.

I noticed Charlie's car was out front. I don't know if my mom knew it yet, but I think he'd pretty much moved in. I guess it wasn't such a bad thing. He and my mom cared about each other a lot. Plus, Charlie would be safe here surrounded by werewolves to protect him from the loads of vampires staying at the Cullen's. As I had been leaving, I picked up on another trail. Four this time. What was with them? The damn things multiplied like bunnies.

I slammed the door behind me. Charlie and Seth were sitting on the sofa laughing at some stupid comedy on TV. I guess Seth was giving up on the "life sucks" thing. I looked closer and saw that Seth had a giant piece of chocolate cake sitting on a plate in his lap. Ah, so mom had coaxed him out of his room with food. I grinned. My mom was so smart.

Before I had even taken two steps, I noticed that something was off. There was a sweet smell filling the air. The scent was unmistakable. It was a scent that I had once loved. But now any time I smelled it I became nauseated.

Sam was here. I tried not to breathe through my nose as I listened closely to the noise in the kitchen. It sounded like Sam and my mother were talking. I swallowed a knot in my throat. If he told her about the Volturi, I was going to kill him.

Seth had picked up on my uneasiness.

"Sam brought some cake by." He held up his plate to show me his half-eaten cake. "Samples for the wedding. There's like thirty different pastries in the kitchen…" Seth must be floating on cloud nine right now. The kid _loved_ his sweets.

I wasn't fooled. Sam hadn't come by just to shove chocolatey goodness down our throats. He had an ulterior motive. Jacob must have called him.

"Would you like to join us, Leah?" Charlie offered for me to come and hang with him and Seth to watch the goofy guy stuff on TV.

So my options were to sit here awkwardly with Charlie and my brother or talk to Sam? Well, _those_ options sucked. God, prisoners on death row had an easier choice to make. _Electricity or injection_?

"No, thanks." I knew I needed to talk to Sam anyway. He probably figured that by coming to my house, I wouldn't become as violent as I had this morning. Shows how much he knew me. I didn't care if the entire _town_ watched as I kicked the ever-living crap out of him.

I started to drag my feet as I walked towards the kitchen.

My mom smiled at me from the kitchen table. I could see the panicked look on her face as I entered the room.

"Look who dropped by!" She motioned nervously to Sam, who was sitting across from her.

She must still be concerned with what I had shared with her earlier today. In her eyes, I was still incredibly pissed at Sam. I was. But right now Jacob was at the top of my shit list. Saying what he said was completely wrong.

"I hear we're testing cakes…" I smiled through my teeth. I looked around, expecting to see Emily. She wasn't around.

Sam spoke softly, "Emily asked me to bring the samples by." He smiled at my mother. "I think it's the _one_ decision she trusts me with…"

"Oh, I'm sure that's not true." My mom smiled back. "Sweetie, men _never_ get to make the decisions in a marriage…" She joked.

"It's true." I heard Charlie walking up behind me. He placed a plate in the sink to be washed. "Let me tell you the only two phrases you need to be familiar with when you tie the knot." He walked up beside Sam. "'You're right, dear.' and, 'I'll get right on that.'" I saw him wink at my mother. She chuckled. It was good to see her happy again.

I looked at Sam. He was looking back at me with eager eyes. Of course he wanted to talk. It was a nice ploy though...trying to butter my family and me up with sugar. Why else would he be sitting at my kitchen table with three dozen different cakes strewn about mumbling something about them picking a cake for the wedding? It wasn't _that_ big of a decision. Just pick a damn dessert.

He could see that I obviously wasn't going to volunteer to talk to him, so he was the first to suggest it, "Leah, would you like to finish the conversation from earlier?"

_No way, asshole,_ I thought. I sighed, _You can do this,_ I told myself. _Just think happy thoughts_. I paused. Great, now I sounded like Peter freaking Pan. Wonder how long it would be before I flew away.

I shook my head to try and clear it. I needed to focus. Something that made me happy. _Embry._ Okay, that was a good start. Well, there really wasn't much else. So, I was going to have to hope that my boyfriend would be enough to keep me from losing my temper and wailing on Sam.

"Let's take a walk." Clearly we couldn't have this conversation here.

"Absolutely." Sam stood up from the kitchen table.

Damn, he didn't have to be so enthusiastic about it.

"Hey, thanks for the cake, Sam." Charlie nodded. "Though I don't know how much help I'll be at helping you decide for the big day. I like them all." He glanced around the kitchen at the samples laying about. He looked like a kid in a candy store.

Sam and I walked towards the back door. I waved to my mom. She gave me a look. A look that clearly stated, _Don't hit him again. Just keep punching holes in your wall._

Sam and I walked a few miles away from my house in the most awkward uncomfortable silence _ever_. But I didn't know exactly what to say, so I was just waiting on him.

Finally, he turned to me.

"First things first, I have a couple of 'I'm sorrys' to get out..."

Was it fifteen years worth? Because that could take a while.

"I didn't mean to frighten you this morning."

I scoffed, "I wasn't _frightened_." I rolled my eyes. "I was pissed."

"Right. Well, I'm sorry about the bruises on your arm."

"Shit happens." I knew this better than anyone.

"The second apology isn't directly from me." Sam looked down. "I spoke to Jake not too long ago…"

I put my hand up to stop him. I didn't want to hear anymore. Jacob did _not_ get to use him at some crappy attempt at an apology,

"Jacob can go suck Edward's dick for all I care."

Sam continued with the apology anyway, "He didn't tell me what was said, but he did say he was very sorry. He sounds remorseful."

"If he was _really_ sorry, he would be apologizing to me himself instead of sending someone I hate _more_ than him to do it," I snapped. "I can't figure out who's worse. Jacob is an irrational selfish jackass. But on the other hand, he's never physically assaulted me before."

"I deserve that," Sam sighed. "The way I acted this morning was inexcusable. I just lost what I was trying to say and freaked out. I didn't want you to take off without knowing about what Jacob and I had discussed."

"You never thought to just spit out that Jacob was abandoning us instead of beating around the bush and stuttering like an idiot?" I questioned.

"It was something I thought that needed to be handled delicately."

"Unlike my arm?" The bruises might have healed, but I wasn't about to let Sam forget that he _had_ hurt me…yet again.

I saw Sam wince a bit. I felt a little guilty about throwing that in his face. Sam had a tough past when it came to losing his temper around women. He still felt terrible about what happened with Emily.

He got over it relatively quickly and looked back up at me.

"Unlike my jaw," he added, trying to fake a smile. "Who taught you to punch like that?"

"I'm an angry person, Sam. It comes naturally." I shrugged.

"Well it is comforting to know that you _can_ defend yourself…with the battle coming up and all."

I was suddenly reminded of the new kids he was training. How were they coping with everything?

"I hear there are a couple of new kids in your pack." I wasn't going to flat out ask for information. I'm not sure Sam would be willing to share. I was just hoping he'd spill his guts when I asked.

Sam sighed, "They're…very young." He pressed his lips firmly together. "They're confused. And scared."

Dealing with a bunch of neurotic prepubescent wolves. _That_ sounded like hell.

"And with Jared spending such a great deal of time with them, and me splitting my responsibilities, we need all the help we can get trying to stay structured and coordinated." Sam looked at me hopefully.

I answered honestly, "I'm not coming back, so you can stop dropping all the subtle hints."

"I know it would be an adjustment…"

_An adjustment_? More like alternative freaking universe! I interrupted him, "I already told Jacob...who I am assuming told you…because he has the biggest damn mouth in the world...that I have other plans. And so do the rest of the wolves who have been forgotten about." I referred to the rest of my pack.

"Be logical. How can that work?" Sam questioned.

"Simple. We keep doing what we've been doing for _the last three months_!" I exclaimed. "We'll just keep patrolling like we've _been_ doing."

"What about communication?" he asked.

He was just determined to see the negative side of things tonight.

"You and Jacob talk to each other all the time. I know how you two _love_ to gossip like teenage schoolgirls." I shrugged. "All we have to do is stay linked to Jake and he can talk to you."

Sam sighed as he started to say something. It looked like he was hesitating, "Didn't…didn't Jake command you to come back?"

"Unlike you, he's let us keep our free-will," I explained.

"I will agree that we do things differently." Sam nodded.

"Yeah, well…I don't care how _different_ things are, none of us want to go back to being under _your_ command." This small business talk stuff was starting to get on my nerves. "Look, we'll do daily check-ins, and run patrols parallel to the border, and we'll work together. But aside from that, I'm not promising anything else."

Sam seemed to take this into consideration as he thought about it for a moment. It's too bad I wasn't going back to his pack, because I would have killed to know what was running through his mind right now.

After a period of silence, Sam seemed willing to give in to my way of thinking.

"I bet Jacob's pretty unhappy with you." He smiled a small smile.

I shrugged. "Well, the feeling is mutual."

"Don't be too hard on him," Sam said softly. "He does have a lot on his mind. It's difficult for him to see anything but Nessie's safety."

"She's got two dozen vampires and two packs of werewolves looking out for her. Trust me, the kid is going to be fine." I was confident that if anyone was going to survive the Volturi coming to town, it was Nessie. Her overprotective parents would make sure that nothing would happen to her.

I had to admit that I hated the mutant spawn for existing, but over the past couple of months, I had grown to tolerate…and possibly even _like_ her. She really was one of a kind. Seeing her through Jake's thoughts was always interesting. At first, I hated feeling the love that Jake had for her, but over time, I had come to find out that she really wasn't so bad. She was kind of a badass in a way. When her overbearing parents tried to protect her from something, she basically ignored what they were telling her to be afraid of and formed her own opinion about things. The little half-breed had _no_ fear. I wondered if she would keep that independent inquisitive personality as she got older…_if_ she got older.

Sam noticed the silence between us. He hadn't come out to my house to sit here in silence.

"Leah, I have to ask you to do something for me…" he said, almost breathlessly. He looked nervous as hell.

"Look, save it. I don't care what you offer me, I've made up my mind about the whole "pack" thing."

"No, it's not about that." Sam shook his head. "I respect the decision you made," he sighed. "I actually hadn't intended to come out here to talk to you about what happened with Jacob today. I was already on my way over when he asked me if I wouldn't mind speaking with you on his behalf."

He _hadn't_ come out here just to try and convince me to rejoin his pack? Then why the hell did he come? After I hit him this morning and told him I would kill him if he tried to follow me, I figured he would have kept his distance from me. I rolled my eyes. He just didn't know how to take "leave me the hell alone" for an answer.

"What do you want, Sam?" I found my impatience growing with him. I did my best to not get irritated. I thought of Embry and I on the beach earlier. It made me smile. Good, I just needed to keep that in my head and maybe I could get through this conversation without killing Sam.

"I came out here because I didn't get a chance to ask you this when you were at the house this morning."

"Just spit it out already."

"When you admitted that you couldn't let me go, I realized that I was holding on to you as well." He looked uncomfortable admitting this. "I love Emily with all of my heart." I tried not to look hurt. It would probably always be painful for me to know that he loved my cousin so much more than he'd loved me. "She's everything to me. I couldn't imagine my life without her."

If I wanted to be childish, I could have said, "If you love her so much, then why don't you marry her?" Then I realized that was stupid because he _was_ marrying her.

"Get on with it…" I gritted my teeth. I kept thinking of all the funny things that had happened today. Mouthing off to Jacob without him knowing, annoying Edward, Embry at the beach, Claire having Quil _completely_ whipped, Seth punching holes in the wall…just like his big sister. Thinking about those things helped me relax.

"I came out here tonight because I'm having a hard time moving on with my life, too. There's something I need you to do in order for both of us to move forward." He took a deep breath. "I'm…asking you to forgive me, Leah."

He had done so many horrible things to me that I wasn't clear as to _what_ he was asking forgiveness for.

"Could you be more specific? You _do_ have a lot of jackass tendencies."

"I need you to forgive me for loving Emily more."

That was like a dagger in my chest. I knew it was true. I had even said it earlier today. But hearing him utter the words caused a severe stabbing jolt to my body. At first, I couldn't respond. I just choked back the tears of sorrow and fury. I would _not_ cry over him anymore.

He wanted me to forgive him for the most _unforgivable_ act he'd ever done? I could taste the bitterness in my mouth. I closed my eyes and controlled my breathing.

"Leah?" Sam asked quietly.

I shook my head and hissed at him to let him know he might want to take a step back in case I exploded into fur.

I tried to understand where he was coming from, to see his point of view. It wasn't working. I bit my bottom lip until I could taste the blood in my mouth and then opened my eyes to look at him.

I managed not to scream at him, though I'm still not sure how.

"I…don't think I can do that, Sam." I didn't sound angry at all. My voice was actually quite dull. There was a heavy tone to it.

Sam silently took in my answer.

"I know it's not easy…" He trailed off, not sure where he was going with his words. "But…I would like your forgiveness."

I managed to continue to keep my cool.

"I can forgive you for a lot of things…but not _that_. _Never_ that."

"Please?" I couldn't believe he would resort to begging.

"You broke me once, Sam. Please don't do it again." I let him know that he was asking the impossible from me. He opened his mouth to say something else, but I interrupted him, "I think you better leave now."

"But…"

"Just go." Now I was the one begging. I didn't want to see him staring sadly at me anymore. I just wanted him to leave me alone. Why didn't he understand that?

"Alright." Sam turned to leave. "But if there comes a time in your life when you are ready to forgive me, let me know."

Wasn't going to happen, but I nodded my head to acknowledge that I'd heard what he'd just said. I stood completely still as I watched him walk down the road and disappear over a hill.

Once he was out of my sight, I started to tremble. I felt my hands heating up and vibrating furiously. I was enraged. How _dare_ he ask me to make _him_ feel better about himself? Selfish Bastard.

"Shit," I grumbled out as I realized that I was letting my anger win. I heard my clothes shred beneath me. _Well, there goes another outfit._ I looked at the pieces of my clothes that were left.

I noticed pretty quickly that I was alone. It was nice to be able to bitch to myself once in a while. I decided to run my steam off. I did the best I could to push this evening as far out of my memory as possible. I just tried to push _anything_ related to Sam away.

Unfortunately, I was unsuccessful. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to push Sam out of my life _that_ easily. We still had a lot to do.

After all, there was a battle on the horizon.


	48. Now we're just waiting to die

_And you woke the morning up_

_Running off my darkest night_

_The longest fight I've seen_

_Here goes a chance I know_

_Cashing in on all my chips_

_Let all my ships come fly_

_"Won't Back Down"_

_-Mat Kearney_

* * *

**Chapter 48:**

**Now we're just waiting to die**

It only took me about a week to get over Sam's visit. I was able to gather my composure rather quickly, so we were able to coordinate runs and attack sequences with our packs. Sam seemed rather eager to forget our conversation as well. All we spoke about now was business.

Even though I had gotten over Sam's outrageous behavior, I had still yet to see or speak to Jacob regarding his childish attitude. I was eternally angered at him. I didn't care that he had ordered us to run with Sam's pack. I wasn't going to listen to him.

I had a great deal of fun ignoring Jacob. It was amusing how obsessive he got trying to reach me. He still wouldn't leave the Cullen's, which I actually considered a good thing. It meant that he couldn't come and yell at me. But he called every chance that he got, trying to speak with me. I usually just hung up on him. No one could hold a grudge like I could.

He spoke to Sam occasionally and asked him to talk to me. Sam knew better than to mention anything to me. He had given up on trying to relay messages from Jake that weren't related to training and running. Seth, Embry, Quil, and I only ran when we felt like it. We spent most of our time working on our reflexes and going over several different battle scenarios that might occur when the Volturi arrived. Most of the time, it was just the four of us. Jake didn't phase much. And when he did, I usually found an excuse to phase out so I didn't have to talk to him.

Sometimes we ran drills with Sam's pack. Paul and Jared annoyed me, but at least they were still silent to us. I met some of the new kids. They were so small. They usually just watched demonstrations given by Sam and Jared. Cody re-enacted _his_ confrontation with the little dark haired vampire I had saved his ass from in the clearing. Something told me that he left out the part about him getting his ass kicked.

The six newest members watched everything with wide-eyes. In addition to the three boys that my mother had told me about joining the pack, there were three others. Sam told me who they were after the first time I saw them. Adam Wright, Danny Little, and Tommy Erwing. They were all thirteen. Putting names together with the faces only furthered my disappointment that they were all going to die so young.

Cody and Tommy were the only two that looked even remotely comfortable. The others looked overwhelmed. I felt bad for them. I told Sam that I didn't know how comfortable I was watching _babies_ die in battle. He explained to me that there was no other choice. And unfortunately, he had a point. If the Volturi knew of the werewolves existence, they were certain to seek out all of them and sentence them to death anyway.

Embry and I were finishing up running a few drills with the new kids. I could tell that they were frustrated by the lack of communication. The way I looked at it, I was saving them the hassle of having to hear _my_ thoughts.

Sam was in human form explaining to the kids about where the vampires were most vulnerable, and how to attack them. He was going to use himself as an example. I, of course, had jumped at the chance to show the kids what to do. I was more than happy to be the wolf that attacked Sam.

"You see how they are boxing me in?" Sam asked the newbies. Embry and I were closing in on either side of him while Collin snuck up behind him.

The kids all nodded their heads. I heard rumbles of appreciation.

"The first thing you want to do is corner them. They _will_ fight back, but if you move fast enough and disassemble their limbs, it won't be much of a fight."

I grinned. _I wonder how much of a fight Sam would put up if I bit his arm right now._

Embry laughed.

_Go ahead. I'll hold him down while you rip him apart,_ he offered. Embry still had not forgiven Sam for treating me badly. He didn't have anything against Sam personally, but the fact that he'd hurt me so much was hard for Embry to stand. _Then we can set him on fire and roast hotdogs on an open fire and live happily ever after._

I chuckled out a laugh.

"When you lunge at your target…" Sam motioned for me to leap forward. Wow, had he thought this plan through? Who in their right mind would ask their scorned ex-girlfriend to lunge for their unprotected throat?

Embry laughed at my thoughts. _Maybe he has a death wish._

_Well, he only has to wait three more weeks._ Even if I _didn't_ kill Sam by lunging at his throat today, he didn't have to wait much longer to die. Embry rolled his eyes at my pessimism.

Sam cleared his throat at me.

"Are you going to attack or not?"

Oh, I was going to attack alright. He better have a trick up his sleeve to get an angry werewolf's teeth off of his leg.

I lowered my eyes as I looked at Sam.

_You sure_? I'm sure he understood what I was trying to say.

He answered with a nod.

He was asking for it. I crept towards him in a crouch, waiting for the right moment to make my move. I heard whimpers of confusion from behind me. The new boys were concerned about Sam being hurt.

I sprang forward, tackling Sam to the ground. I placed my teeth softly on his arm. I didn't bite down. I wasn't _really_ going to bite him. My mom would be really irritated if she had to bail me out of jail for accidentally killing Sam. Yeah, _accidentally._ That was my story, and I would stick to it.

Sam shouted to the watching wolves, "See how there was no warning before she tackled me?" he asked. "Never allow the vampires time to react." He shifted underneath my weight. "But be prepared if they do…" He shoved me away from him and kicked my feet out from underneath me.

I knew the maneuver well, so it didn't take me long to recover, but it had still caught me by surprise. Embry let out a soft growl from where he was standing.

I frowned at Sam. _A little warning would have been nice, asshole._

"Embry…" He waved Embry to join the fight. "It's important to always cover one another," he explained.

_Oh, I'm going to enjoy this._ Embry was excited. He raced towards Sam. I quickly positioned myself behind Sam as Embry head-butted him in the chest. Sam stumbled backwards over me, but managed to regain his balance. Sam glared at the two of us. His look basically said _Take this seriously damn it._

I nodded and backed off. Sam and Embry took a few more swings at one other, showing the kids how to effectively attack and defend. He gave them a few exercises to try on each other.

I watched them stumble around uncoordinated. It looked more like I was watching a _Three Stooges_ marathon rather than a bunch of werewolves in training. God, we had a lot of work to do. I laughed. Compared to the newer wolves, Collin and Brady looked like they actually _knew_ what they were doing.

Sam encouraged the little rascals to keep working as he asked to speak to me privately. I phased and threw on some clothes.

"They're…learning," he said optimistically.

"Not fast enough," I sighed. Even if we spent the next three weeks doing nothing but training, I don't think _any_ of us were going to be prepared for what was coming.

"Would you like to be in charge of training tomorrow night?" Sam questioned. "I wouldn't ask, but Jared's sister is in town and he wanted to spend some time with her."

I really didn't feel like _diaper duty_. I didn't want to attend to six hyped up fraidy cat wolves. Fortunately, I already had plans.

"I can't. Seth's birthday is tomorrow. I promised mom that I would take him to get his license. And then afterwards, she insists on doing this whole "family" thing."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot. Sixteen, right?" Sam questioned.

"Yep."

"I'll make other arrangements for the pack then." Sam nodded. "Thank you guys for your help today."

He was thanking us for knocking him around like a play-thing? Had he hit his head on the ground?

"Yep." I had figured out that the shorter my conversations were with him, the less he irritated me. "Let me know if you need help again." I shrugged. If _help_ consisted of knocking him over and bruising him from head to toe, I was totally up for it.

"I've got to go." I heard Embry walking up behind me. "If my mom gets home from work before me and finds out I'm not there, she's going to install an alarm system so I can stop 'pulling shenanigans and sneaking out.'" I had to laugh. That sounded _exactly_ like something his mother would say.

"Yeah, I'm right behind you. My mom wants me to help bake something for Seth. She should just ask him. _He's_ the one who actually _likes_ to bake." My brother was such a freak sometimes.

Embry and I started to walk off.

"Tell Seth I said 'Happy Birthday.'" Sam smiled.

I don't see how Seth would care. These days, he hated Sam more than I did. He had been subjected to my negative thoughts about him for far too long.

After walking Embry home, I headed back to my place. When I got home I saw Seth walking Quil out the front door. Claire was a few feet in front of them. She ran over to me.

"Qwil got me high!" she exclaimed as she looked up at me with her bright eyes.

Even though I knew that I was hearing that out of context, I still couldn't help but laugh at how wrong that sounded. I had to wonder what she meant.

"What did she just say?" I snorted as Quil walked over to me.

"She likes to fly. I throw her in the air and catch her."

"I wanna get high again!" She reached up to him.

Still funny.

"Make me fwy up to the moon wike Superman!"

Oh man, this kid was a riot.

"I just stopped by to give Seth his birthday present." Quil picked Claire up and tossed her into the air. Her giggles filled the surrounding area. I couldn't help but smile. Watching Quil with Claire made me dislike him a little less. He was so good with her. I really wasn't surprised to see her with him today. He was spending all the time he had left with his little flying princess.

"Yeah, thanks again, man. It's always nice to get some DVD's in his house that contain more than _chick_ stuff." Seth smiled in approval. Apparently Quil had gotten him a DVD chalk full of violence and things being blown to shit. Not too shabby.

"Good luck with your license tomorrow." Quil waved as he walked off with Claire laughing in his arms.

I followed Seth into the house. Just as we'd shut the door, the phone rang.

I saw Seth frown.

"That's probably Jake. He's been calling a lot today. He really wants to talk to you," Seth explained. "I told him that you weren't interested…"

"Did you call him an asshole like I asked you to?" I had given Seth _specific_ instructions on what I had wanted conveyed to Jacob in the event that he called when I wasn't around.

"No." Seth shook his head. I frowned, but Seth grinned widely at me. "I told him to eat shit and die."

My jaw flew open.

"You _didn't_?" I couldn't imagine my sissy brother saying those words to his Alpha.

Seth nodded proudly.

"Left him speechless." He threw his arm around me. "No one messes with my sister and gets away with it." He paused. "Cept me, of course."

The phone was still ringing and it was annoying me. I let out a huff as I answered,

"Hello?"

"Leah?" Jacob was surprised to hear my voice. "Finally! I've been trying to reach you all day. Hey, what's up with Seth? He sure has his panties in a wad today."

"Well, maybe it has something to do with the fact that you've completely _ignored_ your pack to hang with the new vampires in town." I frowned. "Or maybe he's upset that his best friend would use his Alpha command on him."

"That wasn't intentional. I got caught up in the moment," Jacob sighed. "Seth knows that."

"Well, whatever reason he has for being mad at you, I couldn't say. There's just so many disappointing things you've done lately. Anyway, I've got better things to do, so…later." I hung up.

As I was walking away, the phone went off again. I grumbled as I picked it up. Jacob didn't even let me say anything before blabbing away,

"I need you to tell Charlie something for Bella," he quickly spit out. He was probably trying to get that out before I disconnected us.

"Forget it! I'm not your slave, and I'm sure as hell not Bella's either!" I hung up, _again_.

I waited a few seconds, and sure enough, _ring_.

I grabbed the phone.

"You keep calling here and I'm going to rip your fingers off of your hand so you can't dial the phone anymore!" I growled.

"Leah?" I heard a nervous voice on the other end.

And now Charlie would think I was a _complete_ psychopath. Wonderful.

"Oh, hey, Charlie. Sorry, I thought it was someone else."

"Obviously." He laughed anxiously. "I just had a question. I know Seth's birthday is tomorrow. I was debating on getting him a fishing rod. But I got to wondering, does he even like to fish?"

I tried not to explode into laughter as I thought about Seth stuck on a boat all day long with Charlie and Billy, listening to them chatter on about old people stuff.

"Sure!" I exclaimed. "I bet he'd love it." I chuckled under my breath so Charlie couldn't hear me.

"Great." Charlie smiled. There was a hint of relief in his voice. I bet he'd already bought the fishing pole.

"Tell your mother to call me when she gets a chance."

What did I look like? A freaking message pad?

I answered politely, "Certainly. Have a good evening, Charlie."

"And you as well." He paused before he hung up. "And next time, just try 'hello' when picking up," he offered.

"Will do." I hung up the phone. I'm sure he would get over my hostility. He'd seen me throw fits before. He knew I had a temper problem.

I saw Seth standing behind me. "What was that all about?"

"You're going fishing for your birthday." I opened up the cabinet to grab a snack.

"Oh." Seth thought about that for a minute. "Cool." He smiled.

Wow, turns out the little punk _did_ like to fish. I shouldn't be surprised. He liked _everything_.

I spotted a box of chocolate covered treats and grabbed it.

"Ding dong?" I glanced at Seth.

He wasn't looking at me as he responded, "Moron!" He turned towards me and saw that I was holding the box of snack-cakes.

"No, would you _like_ a ding dong?" I explained to him that I _wasn't_ arguing with him.

"Oh." Seth smiled sheepishly at me and nodded. "Sure. Sorry. Habit," he explained. "It's my first instinct to fight with you."

"I can't fault you. We _have_ spent our entire lives fighting." I opened the snack-cake and inhaled it. Normally, I wasn't one to eat junk food, but I figured I might as well do whatever the hell I wanted for the next month.

"Just my luck. The year we actually start getting along, and we're going to die in three weeks." He laughed sarcastically.

"Nothing in life is easy." I shrugged. "Welcome to adulthood." I winked at him. I looked around the kitchen. "Where's mom?"

"Oh, she told me to tell you that she's just going to buy a cake after all," he said. "I told her that I didn't care what kind of cake we had, so she said that she'll pick one up on the way home from Billy's."

Well, that caught my attention.

"Billy's?"

He noticed my nervous glance. "Yeah. Don't worry. It's mostly regular council stuff. They still don't know about the Volturi."

"Ah. Good." Keeping this from the Elders was a hell of a lot of work. As if my mother pushing me for information wasn't enough, I also had Billy asking me all kinds of questions. He did the same to Sam and Seth. All of us kept our mouths shut. Billy had even gone as far as trying to reconnect with Jacob to find out what was going on. They were constantly arguing over the phone. Things were just really tense lately.

I walked into my room and sat down next to my bed. I pulled out a box from underneath my mattress. I hadn't gone through this since my dad died. There were all kinds of photos and trinkets strewn about. I even found an old video recorder with a tape still inside. I was curious as to what was on this video. I slid it into the VCR on the little TV on my dresser and pressed play.

I immediately recognized the surrounding area and it didn't take me long to recall what was happening in this video.

I could hear my dad from behind the camera, cussing under his breath because he didn't know how to turn it on, when, ironically, it _was_ on. Dad never kept up with the technology age.

"Sue, I think I got it!" I heard his voice from behind the shaky camera. The camera steadied and I saw my mom sitting on a rocker on our front porch, rocking with Seth in her lap. He couldn't have been more than a week old in this video.

"Harry, put that thing down and come hold your son," my mom ordered.

"But I'm documenting our first outing as a family." My dad moved the camera to the right and down a few inches. I was standing next to him staring up at him. Wow, even as a five-year-old, I had a pissy scowl on my face. He leaned down to me. "What do you say you go over there and make little Seth feel welcome here?"

"Okay." I let go of his hand and raced over to my mom and brother. I climbed to my mother's side and looked down at Seth. "Hi, Seth. I'm your big sister, Leah. And I promise that I'm going to stop bad things from happening to you…" I glanced at the camera. "That's what daddy told me that big sister's do."

I cringed as I heard that. I was breaking my promise to my brother. Because bad things were happening and I couldn't stop them.

"Just promise not to go into my room or mess with any of my toys and we'll be good friends," I said as I pat my baby brother's head.

That was some advice that Seth hadn't taken in. From the moment he learned how to crawl, he was constantly getting into _everything_. He would push his way into my room and steal every single one of my freaking toys. One time I got so angry that he'd taken my favorite building blocks that I threw one at his head. He screamed and wailed all the way to the emergency room. He had to get two stitches. And of course, I felt so crappy that I had sent him to the hospital that I let him have the damn blocks.

My father sat the camera down on a stand and joined us. He kissed mom and gave me a little squeeze of affection. He leaned in to kiss Seth's forehead. "You know, you might one day be man of this house, Seth, my boy. And I know you'll do a damn good job…"

"Harry, language." My mother didn't approve of cuss words around the kids. My dad was constantly getting in trouble for saying dirty words around Seth and I when we were growing up. I never understood why that was such a big deal. Even at five, I already knew words much worse than _they_ knew. And Seth was a ball of blubber who bounced around the house like a munchkin on crack.

I cut the video off. I'd seen enough of it. Seeing my dad always brought tears to my eyes. Losing him pushed our family into some very trying times.

I felt bad for Seth. It sucked to have your childhood vanish from your sight so quickly. And for him, it had been a while since he'd had a chance to really be a kid. Dad's death had forced us both to grow up faster than we wanted to. Seth was very critical of himself. He'd always believed that dad would be alive today had the two of us been _normal_ kids.

I wouldn't argue. As soon as dad found out about our fate, his health declined. But I never went as far as blaming this curse for his death. Maybe I should. It was definitely part of it. Even after the doctor told him he had high cholesterol, he still didn't alter his diet like he should have. And the last few years of his life, he packed on a few pounds. But seeing his only daughter completely freak out and lose her temper and exploding into fur _couldn't_ have helped.

I started to grind my teeth together. I resented being a wolf. It pissed me off that there was something in my life that I could not control. I wanted to master this wolf thing. I wanted to get control of my temper. For the first time since I knew about the battle, I _wanted_ to live. I wanted to prove to my father that I would protect my little brother, and that Seth would be man of the house...just like he predicted. I wanted to live the life we were supposed to have. And it infuriated me that we weren't going to get our happily ever after. Stupid vampire dictators!

I glanced over at my clock. I had been going through home movies and old family trinkets for quite some time now. It was one minute past midnight.

Seth was sixteen.

I sighed, "Happy birthday, kid," I said with mixed emotion. He was growing up. My baby brother was sixteen. But even though he was still just a teenager, he was somehow also a man. The past few months I had seen him mature in many ways. There were a few times that he said or did something that reminded me exactly of dad.

I closed my eyes. My brother was sixteen. And in three weeks, he was going to be fighting for his life.


	49. I refuse to sing Happy Birthday

_Another cause to make it go away_

_Another false alarm and so you say_

_We walked the mile_

_And it was worth the while_

_Sometimes I miss the simple lies_

_When you're caught up in the compromise_

_But at least we never had to say goodbye_

_Goodbye_

_"Last Salutation"_

_-Randy Coleman_

* * *

**Chapter 49:**

**I refuse to sing "Happy Birthday"**

Seth's birthday went well. Apart from when my mother asked him what he was going to wish for this year. He and I had just kind of stared at one another silently. I knew what he was wishing for: Not to die. It was a simple enough wish.

He had also gained his license. I didn't see what the big deal was. It's not like he was going to get to use it. Besides, when you can run faster than most speedsters, having a car is kind of pointless. Seth was so proud of his achievement that mom let him drive home. I prayed the whole way. He managed not to hit any mailboxes, but he did run over a lawn gnome.

We went through the rituals that mom had been making us do since we were toddlers. The day ended up winding down with an early dinner with just the three of us. Charlie was originally going to join us, but he got held up at work. Apparently, there were a few criminals that needed attending to. He promised to stop by after his shift so he could give Seth his gift.

"Oh, I just can't believe you're sixteen." My mom had tears in her eyes.

I rolled my eyes. She always got emotional on our birthdays. It's a good thing I wasn't going to be around for my next one, because I don't think I could get through another birthday with her asking me, "What have you learned about life?" Like my answer was ever going to change. _It sucks_.

She pulled the question on Seth.

"So, what have you learned?"

"Um…well, I learned that putting aluminum foil in the microwave will start a fire…" Seth shoved a piece of cake in his mouth. I laughed. I remember when he'd done that. His reaction had me laughing like a maniac. I believe his exact words were, _Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit…it's burning, what do I do? Oh…shit!_

My mother frowned at him, unsatisfied with his answer. He just smiled back at her innocently.

"Well, did you have a good birthday?" she asked.

"You bet." He nodded. I had to wonder if he was lying. If it were _my_ birthday and I knew what the future held for me, I don't know if I'd be able to enjoy it. But Seth seemed perfectly happy.

I heard the front door open and Charlie walked in out of the drizzle. He wandered into the kitchen.

"Hey, I didn't miss all the fun, did I?" he asked.

"Nope. Now that you're here, we can officially start the party." My mom laughed.

"Great." Charlie nodded. He glanced at my mom. "Hey, Sue, can you give me a hand with something?"

"Sure." My mom leaped up.

Okay, so they were planning something. They weren't being very subtle about it. If it was a surprise for Seth, he was going to see right through their terrible acting. It's funny how parents think that their kids are completely clueless. I laughed as my mom followed Charlie out to his car.

"It's a good thing I've had sixteen years to practice how to act surprised." Seth's eyes followed where mom and Charlie had disappeared to.

He wanted a surprise? Well, I could manage that.

I grabbed the present I had picked out for Seth and tossed it on the table.

"Here. Don't say I never gave you anything."

"Ah, Leah, you didn't have to do that." Seth glanced into the bag.

Yes, I did. Because if I hadn't gotten him anything, he would have whined like a little baby, _You forgot about me. You don't love me. Wah!_

"It's not much." I shrugged. "I'm not exactly rolling in the dough these days." Not having a job made it kind of difficult to _purchase_ things.

Seth pulled out two CD's of his favorite band.

"Awesome!" he exclaimed. "I didn't know the new album had been released yet!"

I winked at him. "I know a guy…" I joked.

He reached in the bag and pulled out the other present I had stashed at the bottom. At first, I wasn't sure that he would recognize it.

I saw him swallow a knot in his throat as he fought back tears.

"Dad's pocket watch?"

My father had carried around a pocket watch that his father gave him before he'd died. It had been in the family for generations. I figured Seth had earned it.

"I found it going through some of my things last night," I explained. "I forgot I even had it." I looked at the rusty watch. "Anyway, dad gave it to me to give it you on your eighteenth birthday." I looked down at my feet. "But considering the fact that you won't _listen_ to your older sister when she tells you to stay out of a fight, I figured I might want to give it to you now."

"He told you to give it to me?" Seth questioned.

I nodded.

"When?"

"After you tried to flush it down the toilet when you were four." I laughed. "He said he'd gotten to it in the nick of time. It was almost lost to the sewers forever…like three sets of keys and two pairs of mom's earrings before it." Seth had a habit of flushing things down the drain when he was younger. "He cleaned it up and told me that you weren't ready for it yet. So to make me feel important, he put me in charge of it and told me that it was my responsibility to make sure that you got it when you were old enough." I smiled thinking about my dad's love for us. "I told him I'd wait until you were ninety. He went with eighteen."

"This is just…" Seth couldn't find the words to describe how he was feeling.

I chuckled. "Don't go getting all _girly_ on me," I teased him.

"Thank you." He stood up and walked over to me.

Crap, he was going to hug me. I grimaced. I didn't really like to be hugged, not even by family members. But as Seth embraced me I was surprised to find that I wasn't annoyed at all by his affection. I squeezed him back.

Seth laughed when I didn't push him away. "Ha, you _looove_ me…"

"Ew, cut it out. You're crowding my space." I finally shoved him away. I smiled as I rolled my eyes at him.

Our friendly bickering was interrupted as we heard the front door open again. It sounded like Charlie had thudded something on the floor.

They were in the middle of a conversation of their own.

"I'm sure everything is fine, Charlie," Mom said reassuringly.

"I just don't understand why I can't go and see my daughter and Nessie." Charlie sounded like he was verging on furious. They walked into the kitchen and Charlie looked over at me. "You still offering to rip people's fingers off?" He referred to me answering the phone yesterday.

"For the right price."

"Bella still won't let him visit," My mother explained the obvious. She glanced at me curiously, as if she was waiting for me to reveal some big secret. She'd been trying to get me to talk ever since the new kids started phasing. I wasn't going to do it.

"That blows." I frowned. I did feel sorry for Charlie. He'd been very understanding with all of this supernatural stuff. He hadn't asked a lot of questions…up until now. He was having trouble understanding why his daughter suddenly didn't want him around.

"I swear, sometimes I think there is something seriously wrong with that child of mine," he grumbled under his breath.

I snorted out a laugh. If he _only_ knew…

Charlie cleared his throat and smiled at Seth.

"Sorry, Seth. Didn't mean to ruin the party."

"No worries." Seth smiled back at Charlie.

"Charlie brought you something. It's in the living room." Mom waved us to follow her.

When we got into the living room, Seth didn't have to look very hard for his gift. There, leaning against the sofa, was a brand new fishing pole. And on the floor next to it there was a huge tackle box with a bow on the top. Wow. Charlie had wasted _no_ expense. Seth pretty much had everything he needed for a good day of fishing.

"Geeze, Charlie, did you buy him a boat, too?" I laughed.

"The store was having a going out of business sale," Charlie explained. He looked at Seth. "Happy Birthday."

"Wow! Thanks, Charlie!" Seth overdid it a little on the enthusiasm as he raced to the fishing equipment. He looked like a kid running towards his stocking on Christmas Day. I watched as he examined the bait inside the box.

"You know, your dad loved to fish. I figured he might have passed that on to you…" Charlie pat my brother on the back.

There was a knock at the door. All this male bonding was making me nauseous. I didn't have a problem running to get it.

"I got it."

When I opened the door, I was a startled to find Nicolas, one of the new kids in Sam's pack, standing there nervously shuffling around. He looked up at me nervously.

"Uh, hi, Leah…" he stuttered out softly.

"Nicolas?" What was he doing here?

"I'm sorry, I didn't know where else to go. I tried to go by Sam's place, but no one was home." Nicolas looked down at the ground. "And Jared is out with his sister and Kim." His eyes darted around, looking for something to focus on. "Sam gave us the night off. Said we were going to resume training tomorrow. He didn't realize…" He was shaking.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Well, Justin and Danny are freaked out by this whole "wolf" thing. They were trying to convince all of the new wolves to run away."

I grumbled. I knew I couldn't just let the kids take off. I mean, I understood why they were doing it. Hell, I didn't want to die either. But they were new at this. They didn't have control yet, and that made them dangerous.

"Where are they going?" I questioned.

"I don't know. Something about running over the border and never coming back…"

I _really_ hoped he was referring to Canada and not the Cullen's land. That could be a problem with all the new vampires showing up.

"The border?"

"Last I heard, they were running to the east." Nicolas nodded. "I…I tried to stop them. To warn them about the vampires. They didn't listen."

Shit. They _were_ going to cross the border.

"Justin and Danny are the only two going through with it. The rest of us were too afraid of running into vampires…"

"Seth!" I exclaimed. Seth was behind me an instant later. He could tell from the tone of my voice that something serious was going on.

"What's up?"

"Sorry, we've got to cut your birthday a little short." I frowned. "We've got a couple of runaways," I explained. "Go with Nicolas to find Sam…and tell him to phase. If Justin and Danny are wolves, he'll be able to find them faster that way." He would also be able to _make_ them come back home. I had never been a fan of the Alpha command, but in this case it could be extremely useful.

I quickly filled my brother in on what was going on.

"Should we call Jake and tell him and the Cullens what's going on?" Seth pursed his lips in concern.

"Don't know how much good that will do." I shook my head. "Justin and Danny don't know the Cullens like we do. In fact, involving vampires might just make the situation worse. And I doubt Jake is willing to leave Nessie to round up a couple of runaways. The best thing right now is going to be to find Sam."

"What are you going to do?" Seth questioned.

"What I do best: act impulsive and hope it gets me to where I need to go." I shrugged as I raced past Nicolas out the door.

I heard Seth say something to Nicolas about explaining the situation to mom. I'm sure she would understand. The safety of the boys was the most important thing here. Though I'm sure she would lay into the kids for ruining Seth's birthday.

When I phased, I realized that Embry was already running as a wolf. He was on his way to my place to wish Seth a happy birthday.

_Perfect timing._ I showed him what was going on with my thoughts.

_There's never a dull moment around here._

We met half-way and started on our way to the Cullen's land. When we got to the border, I was able to pick up the kids' scent. It seems as if they had run parallel to the line for a while before deciding to actually go through with it. Their trail ended abruptly over the line. It was odd.

I was trying to formulate a plan. If the boys were hiding, maybe I could call out to them to let them know that they needed to get their asses home.

_Why would they hide from us_? Embry questioned.

_Did you ever run away as a child_? I asked. _The last thing you want when you're running away is for someone to find you and drag you back home._

I had run away once when I was younger. I was seven. I hadn't been gone for more than twenty minutes before I started to miss home. When I came back, I figured that my parents would be mad. Instead, they were impressed that their seven-year-old daughter had thought to take toilet paper with her when she ran away. I was a very practical kid.

_I'll just phase to see if I can get them to talk to me,_ I sighed. I didn't like the idea of being human on the vampire's territory.

Embry didn't like the idea any more than I did.

_I don't know. I don't like the idea of you being that vulnerable._

_Lighten up. You're here to protect me. _ I laughed. _My big bad boyfriend._

I took a moment to thank God that I had been smart enough to stash a bungee cord on my porch. I had grabbed it on my way out. I phased and changed into my clothes.

Embry was by my side, glancing around the woods protectively.

"Justin? Danny?" I exclaimed. "Look, I'm not here to yell at you…" I managed to sell that lie. If they showed themselves, I was going to rip into them. "I just want you to know that I know what you're going through. It sucks, I know. But you can't run away from your problems." I learned very early in life that no matter how far away you ran, you couldn't escape what was bothering you. "What you're doing is very dangerous…" I glanced at Embry. "Am I just talking to myself here?"

Embry glanced to the east. Something had caught his attention. I heard a commotion not far from where we were standing. Embry's hackles stood up on end. I heard a yelp.

A few seconds later there was a whirlwind of leaves and dust flying around us. The action stopped long enough for me to realize what was going on. I saw four figures. Two wolves and two vampires. They were running circles around each other.

I took a moment to sniff the air and my jaw dropped when I recognized the smells around me. Justin and Danny were easy to decipher.

But the two vampires were a scent that I clearly recognized, though I hadn't smelled them in quite some time.

Danny and Justin were trying to fight to the death with Emmett and Rosalie.

The new pups were going to get creamed.


	50. Why do birthdays always end in bloodbath

_Well, life has a funny way of sneaking up on you_

_When you think everything's okay, and everything's going right_

_And life has a funny way of helping you out_

_When you think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face_

_"Ironic"_

_-Alanis Morissette_

* * *

**Chapter 50:**

**Why do birthdays always end in bloodbaths?**

Three months ago, I wouldn't have helped Emmett and Rosalie. I would have sat back and watched the show, maybe even joined in to help rip them to shreds. But that was three months ago. I cussed under my breath at Jacob and Seth for making me hate the leeches less.

"Hey! Whoa! STOP!" I exclaimed.

Danny and Justin completely ignored me, though Rosalie and Emmett took a moment to register the fact that I was there, as human. They had no choice but to defend themselves against the wolves.

Rosalie and Justin whizzed by us, nearly knocking me off of my feet.

Embry whimpered at me. I think he wanted me to phase.

"We've got a better chance of them listening to us if one of us stays human," I explained. _Someone_ needed to communicate. Part of me knew that they weren't going to listen to me, but I couldn't force myself to phase and attack my own kind to _protect_ vampires. I especially couldn't attack them because they were just _babies_.

Another whine.

"Go." I ordered him to subdue Danny, who was still circling Emmett. Danny snarled at Emmett, and Emmett hissed back.

"Just so you know, you two are fighting _kids_!" I warned Rosalie and Emmett. I wanted them to be fully aware of the situation, so they would be less likely to hurt the idiot children.

Embry raced over to where Danny was getting ready to pounce on Emmett. He knocked Danny out of the air mid-leap. Go Embry! Danny looked frazzled and freaked out, but he turned his attention back to Emmett, and let out a snarl.

"Danny!" I yelled. Still no response. God damn it. I hated kids.

I noticed that Justin had backed a few feet away from Rosalie, more than likely trying to gain some distance to run and tackle her.

"Justin, back the hell off." I warned him. He didn't even acknowledge me. He was so intent on killing Rosalie, that nothing around him was registering.

"Oh, I'm going to regret this later…" I mumbled to myself as I lunged on to Justin's back and put him in a head lock. Justin struggled as he tried to shake me off. I probably looked like one of those idiot women trying to master a mechanical bull. Yee-frickin-haw. "Cool it, kid." I tried to sound calm so maybe he would chill out.

It didn't work. Justin reared up in a panic and threw me off of him. He let out an unintentional growl. Well, at least it _better_ have been unintentional. He jerked his head around to look at me. At least I had gained his attention.

"You're really going to go after your own species?" Rosalie snapped at Justin.

"Don't antagonize him. He's just a kid," I grumbled.

Justin didn't like my assessment of him. He turned to me and snapped at me.

I lost my temper and smacked my hand against the little spaz's head as he lunged for me. I heard a snap from one of my bones. Shit. The little brat had broken two of my fingers. Well, I certainly couldn't phase to fight _now_. It would just mess up my bones. Score one for stupid impulsive me.

"Justin, you better stop this shit, _right now_." I ordered as I came face to face with him. I was so close that I could see the fear in his eyes. I knew he was terrified. He didn't understand that I was here to _help_ him. He just saw that I was protecting the vampires, and he was freaking out.

I saw Emmett racing over to us.

"Embry's got the other kid under control," he explained. "You alright, mutt?" He glanced at the ground where I was still sitting face to face with Justin.

I was too focused on trying to calm him down. "Just stay calm. Everything is fine," I nodded. Justin was shaking wildly. "Justin, phase back. We're going to get you home."

He heard Rosalie shift from behind us, and he spun around, knocking me a few feet away. I looked up just in time to see Justin lunging for Blondie's throat.

Before I could mutter out, "Don't be a dumbass," there was a sudden change in the air. I heard a howl. Seth had found Sam. Thank bloody heaven. Justin and Danny had stopped everything they were doing and started racing towards the howl. They stopped at a line of trees and waited for Sam.

I just took a moment to breathe. I laid my head back down on the ground and huffed out a breath of air. A few seconds later, there were three shadows over me. Embry was at my feet, while Emmett and Rosalie were on either side, looking down at me.

"She dead?" Rosalie questioned as she turned her nose up.

"I dunno. It's kinda hard to tell. She's always looked a little _ruff_." Emmett had to throw a damn dog joke in _every_ time he was around me.

"You're completely lame," I said in a sinister tone. I pushed myself to sit up.

"You okay?" Emmett generally seemed like he cared. That was weird. A vampire concerned about a werewolf?

"Depends. Does 'okay' mean 'incredibly pissed off?'" I questioned. I touched the tip of one of my broken fingers as I was standing up, and let out a hiss.

Rosalie disappeared for a moment. I heard her chattering indistinctively on her phone. She returned a few minutes later.

"You make the call?" Emmett asked.

"He's on his way," she nodded. "You're sure about this?"

"Sure about _what_? Who's on the way?" I questioned. "Because, if you hadn't noticed, this area is a little over-crowded at the moment." I glanced around. Sam was really letting the boys have it for disappearing and pulling this dangerous stunt.

Seth was walking over to us as human, waving like crazy.

"Emmett, dude! It's been a while! How are you?" It was like they were old college buddies instead of mortal enemies.

"It's been productive," Emmett said.

"When did the two of you get back?" I asked. I glanced at Rosalie. She didn't say anything. She just stared at the two young wolves getting in trouble.

"Just now," Emmett nodded. "Why? You disappointed that we're still alive?"

"A little." I smarted off.

"Did the trip go as planned? Did you find more witnesses?" Seth asked.

"We'll get back to more of that in a minute." I looked at Emmett and Rosalie. "_Who's_ coming here?" I reminded them that I _had_ witnessed their little secretive phone call.

"Two of your fingers are probably broken, and it's possible that your wrist is too. The snap was very audible," Rosalie explained. There was no concern in her voice. It was very matter-of-fact.

It didn't take me long to figure out who they had called with this information. I frowned.

"You called Doctor Dracula on me?"

Emmett grinned a big grin at his wife.

"Told ya she'd be pissed. Pay up." He pushed her playfully when she refused to show any glint of humor in her face.

"Glad you're okay," Seth smiled at me. "When I realized that I couldn't hear your thoughts, I was worried."

Embry huffed in agreement. He didn't like the fact that I'd been hurt _again_, but I could tell he was relieved that it wasn't serious.

"It's just a good thing you found Sam." I glanced over at Sam lecturing the boys. I never thought I would be _happy_ to see Sam. But considering he had phased in the nick of time to command Justin and Danny to stop their ridiculous plan, I was relieved at his presence.

Rosalie was apparently not. She was really irritated and pissy. Just like she had always been. I shrugged. At least she was constant.

"Stupid kids," I heard Rosalie mutter. For once, I agreed with the blonde-haired freak. I _hated_ kids sometimes.

"So, I hear you're sixteen today," Emmett smiled at my brother.

Seth laughed, "I guess it wouldn't be a real birthday around here if someone wasn't in mortal danger."

Emmett punched Seth playfully. "Looks like Rose and I got back just in time to see you wave goodbye to your childhood forever."

"I don't know. I might be sixteen for a while," Seth admitted. "It's not like I'm getting any older. And I mean, technically, I phased right before I turned fifteen, so, yeah, that blows," Seth frowned. He didn't like the idea of looking so young forever. He glanced to Justin and Danny. "But it's gotta suck even worse to be stuck at _twelve_. At least I'm old enough to try and sneak into R-rated movies."

"Hey, if you _do_ stay sixteen forever, just think of the chicks you can get. You'll be the high school hunk forever. High school girls, man. They'll keep getting older, and you'll stay the same age."

"Tell me you did not just quote _Dazed and Confused_," I frowned at Emmett.

"Paraphrasing," Emmett shrugged. "I believe in the movie that the roles were reversed." He went as far as telling me what the _original_ quote had been. I looked at him with disbelief. He just shrugged, "We've been around for centuries, and we _never_ sleep. Spare time is very easy to come by."

I could hear another vampire approaching rapidly. I knew it was Carlisle, so I wasn't concerned. Sam ordered Justin and Danny to phase back and go home, which they begrudgingly did. He and Embry phased back.

"I'll talk to Sam to see what the deal is," Embry offered. "Unless you want me to stay with you."

"I think I'll be okay." My fingers didn't hurt too terribly. After having my arm completely broken in three places, only to have it _rebroken_ and set, nothing else seemed painful anymore.

Embry nodded at me as he and Sam walked towards one another. I'm sure Sam needed to update him on what was said to Danny and Justin. I hoped he hadn't been too hard on them. They were, after all, just children.

I turned my attention back to Seth and Emmett, who were gossiping like two fifteen-year-old girls at a slumber party. Rosalie and I both shared the same look of uninterest as Seth complained about being young forever.

"Don't worry, Seth. On your 21st birthday, if you still look fifteen, I'll get you a hooker," Emmett winked.

A growl escaped Rosalie's lips, "Emmett."

She didn't appreciate his humor.

"Come on babe, it was a joke," Emmett laughed. "Lighten up."

"Carlisle has it from here, Emmett," Rosalie said with a scowl on her face. "We need to get back to the mansion." She raced away from us.

Emmett glanced at Seth again.

"Take it from me, dude, stay single forever," he said quietly.

"I'll see ya later." Seth waved.

"EMMETT!" Rosalie yelled. She was really impatient. And apparently saying his name twenty times was how she motivated him to do what she wanted.

"Take care of those fingers, Leah," Emmett nodded. "The middle one in particular. I've become quite fond of how you say hello to me." He laughed. I laughed, too. I _did_ use my middle finger quite often when I was in his company.

"I've got another one." I held up my uninjured hand and showed him the finger that he so desired.

"It's good to be home." Emmett chuckled as he sped away.

"Yeah." I rolled my eyes. "Welcome back…" I muttered sarcastically.

I couldn't say that I was entirely _pleased_ that they were back safely. But at least now, our numbers for the battle were increasing again.

A couple of seconds later, Carlisle appeared in the clearing with a few medical supplies.

"I'm gonna see what Embry and Sam are discussing." Seth loped away from me. I got the feeling that he didn't want to stick around to watch his big sister cuss at the kind doctor who was trying to help her.

I let Carlisle know quite quickly that I wasn't as injured as the last time he'd seen me hurt.

"What? No X-Ray machine? I thought for sure you'd drag it out here to kill me with radiation." I could just see Carlisle dragging the X-Ray machine along with him in the woods. The squirrels wouldn't know what do to...

Carlisle ignored my cynicism as he smiled politely at me, "I'm sorry to hear that you're hurt again."

"Aw, come on, Doc. It's people like me who keep you in business." I laughed. "If everyone in the world stayed safe and unharmed, you wouldn't have a job."

Carlisle just continued to smile at me, "I'm sure I could be just as happy in another occupation."

He was so freaking optimistic. I grumbled to myself. Optimists were annoying. But, he was really kind of cool to have around. A portable doctor. That was kind of sweet.

"I suppose I'll look at your arm first." Carlisle grabbed something out of his bag.

My arm? Was it even hurt? I glanced down at my arm in confusion. There was a gash that was starting to heal over. I had never even noticed it. Apparently, Justin's claw had caught me when I wasn't paying attention. It was odd that Rosalie hadn't pointed that out in her little diagnosis of me when she explained why she'd called Carlisle.

"I'm just going to add a few stitches to help with the scarring." Carlisle gently touched the gash. I automatically flinched when he touched me. I could never get used to a vampire being this close to me. Plus, his hands were like ice.

"Sorry," Carlisle said kindly as he numbed the area of the injury. At least he was good at what he did. I barely even felt the pull when he put the needle through my skin.

"When did you get back to town?" I knew that Rosalie and Emmett had literally just breezed back here, but I was curious as to how long he'd been back.

"About three days ago," Carlisle nodded. "Esme and I did a great deal of traveling, trying to find old friends to send out this way."

"Yeah, I noticed," I grumbled under my breath.

"We've done all that we can. Now, all we can do is hope."

I laughed at the irony. A vampire that was full of hope. I didn't have to point out what was wrong with that picture.

"Although, I'm very optimistic about Bella being able to learn to project her shield. She's been working with Kate and some of the nomads nonstop."

I had forgotten about Bella's useless little power. So she could protect herself from vampires with abilities? Big whoop. Wasn't going to make a bit of difference when the Volturi came to town. She could keep Jane from shocking her...that still didn't mean that the guard wouldn't rip her to pieces. What good would her shield do then? I could see her being chased by half a dozen little vampire minions. I thought about short vampires, and a curious question came to my mind.

"Ah, uh, so, everyone's back home now?" I questioned.

Carlisle glanced at the ground to hide his sorrow. He looked sad. Guess there were two members of his family that were still unaccounted for.

"Not _everyone_," Carlisle sighed.

"Oh. Sorry," I shrugged. I still couldn't believe that Alice and Jasper would completely abandon their family. That was the coward's way out. And if I knew anything about Alice, she _wasn't_ a coward. And Jasper had been in a war. He'd never struck me as a wimp either.

Carlisle looked over at Seth, Sam, and Embry, who looked like they were having a very _serious_ conversation. Carlisle noticed me looking at them, too.

"Seth's discussing the gifts he's gotten so far." Carlisle could obviously hear what they were discussing. Those vampire ears were freaky good.

"Great, I'm over here getting stitched up, and they're talking about the special features on the _Terminator_ DVD." I rolled my eyes.

"Actually, he's speaking about something sentimental that you gave him." Carlisle smiled. "They're concerned about you. You're very lucky to have so many people that care about you." I bet he was wondering _why_ they cared about me. Sometimes, I wondered that myself.

Carlisle's smile faded away and was replaced by a concerned expression.

"Something wrong?" I asked.

He shook his head. "They're just…discussing the Volturi." He let out a sigh. "I feel terrible that your family is involved in this, too."

I was amazed. How could someone who didn't _have_ a heartbeat be so softhearted?

"I really wish that you all would stay out of the fight. You could get hurt." For the first time, I realized that he was looking at me as if I were one of his children. It freaked me out, but I just masked it with my trademark sarcasm.

"Oh, lighten up, you sound like my mom: 'Don't play with fire,' 'Eat your vegetables,' 'If I catch you drinking paint thinner one more time'…"

Carlisle raised his brow at me, but after a moment, chuckled under his breath.

I just shrugged, "Don't worry about us, Doc. We can hold our own."

"You know. It's very kind of you to stand by us in the coming confrontation." "Confrontation" was an understatement.

"Yeah. Sure. No problem." Dying _by_ vampires, and _for_ vampires made _perfect_ sense.

It was silent for a minute. I felt one last tug on my arm.

"That should do it." Carlisle had finished stitching me up. He put some iodine on the wound. It was going to scar beautifully. He had laced the stitches underneath the wound itself, and pulled the subcutaneous layer of skin together. It barely looked like a scratch. "Because you heal so quickly, I used absorbable sutures," he explained.

"Looks good." I was impressed.

"Rosalie said something about your wrist possibly being injured as well." He looked at my injured hand. "Can you move it?"

I flexed my wrist. It was sore, but it wasn't very painful.

"And your fingers?" he asked.

I had a harder time maneuvering my fingers. Carlisle examined them carefully. He looked satisfied when he let go of my hand.

"As far as I can tell, the wrist isn't broken. And the fingers seem to be healing correctly on their own," he nodded. "But if you'd like to be certain we could get some X-Rays…"

His house was overflowing with murderous leeches. There was no way I was going there. I didn't care if every bone in my body was broken, and he had invented a painless way to put me back together. I'd rather die squirming in pain than walk into that mansion.

"No." I interrupted him. "It's fine. I…believe you." I chose my words carefully. I realized that I had almost said "I trust you." I shuddered.

I can't believe I'd almost told a vampire that I trusted him. The sad thing was I did. Carlisle had never done anything other than show me complete respect. In fact, I don't think I really hated anyone in his family anymore…well, except of course Bella. But she was a different story. I did hate them for existing, but they'd never done anything horrible to me personally.

I noticed that Embry was waving for me to come over to his side.

"Hey, thanks for coming out here to patch me up. It really wasn't necessary."

"It really was." Carlisle disagreed with me.

"Well, here's to hoping that next time you see me, it won't be because I've broken or mangled some part of my body." I walked over to the discussion about the new wolves.

When I reached Embry's side, I turned around to wave at the doctor one last time, but he was already gone.

"He get you fixed up?" Embry questioned.

"You know, for a vampire he does remarkable work." I ran my fingers over the now barely visible gash in my arm. "I should send him a muffin basket or something."

"Vampires don't eat." Seth reminded me.

"Fine. A _blood_ basket," I joked. I noticed that Sam was the only one that wasn't smiling. "Come on, lighten up." I was reminded of Emmett's words to Rosalie just moments ago.

"I'm glad that you're alright, but we have a serious problem on our hands," Sam frowned.

"So, a couple of kids freaked out." I didn't see what the big deal was. They were under control now, and no one had been seriously injured.

"We have to treat this very delicately. Young wolves can be _very_ dangerous." He still had a scowl on his face.

"I know. I was young and stupid once, too," I said.

Without Quil and Jacob there was no one around to quip that I might not be young anymore, but I was still stupid. Aw, I missed our little squabbles sometimes.

"This is very serious…" Sam continued with the grumbling.

"Fine. You wanna be serious about it?" I questioned. "What the hell were they doing _alone_, Sam?"

"I had given everyone the night off. No phasing. I didn't know they were going to disobey me," Sam frowned.

"Even when they're not in training you should have a loose eye on them so things like this don't happen. We don't need over-anxious little boys looking for a fight or getting killed because we were too busy to teach them right from wrong."

"They didn't see anything wrong with the situation. They were running away, like normal teenagers do. But they came across Emmett and Rosalie and they panicked."

"They knew not to cross the border. And they did." Embry sided with me. "They knew what they were doing wasn't right, so don't try to play this up like they're completely innocent."

"Yeah, you've got to stop letting your naïve new puppies get in to trouble. I'm getting tired of putting my ass on the line for them." I paused. "You know, the next time this happens I'm going to be _rooting_ for the vampire to win," I said sarcastically.

Sam surprised me with his response, "You're right. We need to keep a closer eye on them. I'll speak with Jared and Paul about it in the morning." He was _listening_ to my advice? Since when was Sam sensible? He continued, "The boys have been disciplined."

How did you discipline twelve-year-olds? Eliminate recess?

"In the meantime I apologize for the inconvenience." Sam looked at Seth. "I know today is your birthday. So, why don't you head home and try to salvage the rest of the evening?" And with that, Sam turned around and disappeared into the woods.

The three of us stared after him in disbelief. Sam had not only taken my advice, but he had admitted that I was _right_ and then he _apologized_ to us.

"Just so we're clear, that really just happened, right?" I questioned.

Embry and Seth just nodded.

Sam was acting very odd. _What_ had gotten in to him?


	51. Excuse me while I laugh my ass off

_Up all night long_

_And there's something very wrong_

_And I know it must be late_

_Been gone since yesterday_

_I'm not like you guys_

_I'm not like you_

_"Aliens Exist"_

_-Blink 182_

* * *

**Chapter 51:**

**Excuse me while I laugh my ass off**

When Seth and I got home mom and Charlie were anxiously awaiting our return. They wanted to know that the boys were okay. We assured them everything was fine and that no one had been hurt. Well, almost no one. I had completely forgotten about the little scrape on my arm. My mom noticed it. Fortunately, it didn't look gruesome, so she just told me to be more careful. It's a good thing I didn't tell her I'd gotten it while protecting the vampires. She might have died from shock.

Billy was at the house, too. He had been with Sam when Nicolas and Seth explained what was going on. As soon as Sam left Billy made his way to our place to wait and worry with my mom and Charlie.

Of course, he asked me how I'd ended up with the scar on my arm.

"Where'd you get that cut?"

I had to be a smartass.

"From something sharp."

Charlie spent the rest of the night planning a fishing trip with Seth and Billy that they went on the very next morning. The boys were planning on spending most of the day out. My mom decided to go on some kind of cleaning binge, so I spent most of my day with Embry. That is, until his mom kicked me out of the house when she caught us kissing on her couch.

"Four months," Embry sighed as we walked out to his front porch. He shook his head. "Then I'll be eighteen and I won't have to take crap from her anymore."

"I don't know," I chuckled. "Something tells me that you two will be living together for quite some time. She doesn't seem like she'll ever let you go."

"I love her. She's my mom. But believe me, as soon as she's old enough I'm going to sign her up at the first nursing home I can find."

"She'll probably just get kicked out." I warned him. I laughed. I could picture his mother throwing mashed potatoes at another resident and screaming at the orderlies that the other bitch stole her fruitcup.

"Yeah. You're probably right," Embry nodded. The one thing that our mother's shared in common was the fact that they were both very independent women with fiery tempers.

"She's just looking out for you." I assured him that his mother wasn't acting so crazy just to punish him.

"I know. But it's still annoying."

"It was about time for me to go anyway."

"You going to help your mom clean?" Embry looked surprised.

I let out a laugh and shook my head.

"God, no. I'd rather cut off my own head than smell bleach for three hours."

The smell of bleach had always bothered me. I needed to come up with something else to do to avoid getting sucked into my mother's cleaning frenzy.

"I'm going to run out to the Cullen's place to make sure the vampires haven't killed Jacob."

I hadn't seen Jacob since the night I'd gone out to tell him about the fact that his pack was rebelling against him. He still called my place pretty often to get me to talk to him. I usually told him to shove some kind of object into his ass and hung up on him. Sam still spoke with him from time to time, but I wanted to see for myself that he was still alive. Plus, we needed to talk. He needed to know what was going on here, and I wanted to know what was going on there.

"Be careful," Embry nodded. "And don't have too much fun without me." He looked around. "If I can sneak out I'll join you later," he said quietly.

"Look who's becoming all rebellious now," I laughed. "I truly am a bad influence on you."

Embry gave me a quick kiss goodbye and then slipped back into his house. I could see that he was already plotting an escape. He could be such a little devil. It was actually kind of hot in a way. Me and that damn bad boy attraction.

Once I was far enough out of the watchful eye of Embry's mother, who I know was staring at me through the window, I phased and headed out to see what Jake was up to. I was still kind of pissed at him, but I knew we would eventually make up.

When I got to the mansion I noticed Bella and Edward outside. They were talking about teaching Bella how to fight. It looks like I had come at the best possible time. Watching Bella getting her ass kicked was going to be fun. I guess violence wasn't _always_ a bad thing.

_Come on. Beat the hell out of each other._ I plopped down, ready to be entertained.

"Great. We have an audience," Edward mumbled under his breath.

"Good. Maybe it will encourage me to fight better." Bella was enthusiastic.

_If that's the case, I'll leave. I don't want to interfere with you getting a beating_. I knew Bella couldn't hear me, but I still got satisfaction in saying these kinds of things to her.

"I'm not sure about this," Edward said hesitantly.

_Hey, a little domestic violence never hurt anyone,_ I chuckled.

"Come on, Edward, you promised," Bella pouted.

_Aw, come on Dead-head Ed, put your woman in her place._ I snorted at the possibility that Edward could _ever_ tell Bella what to do.

"Are you sure you're ready?" Edward questioned.

"Bring it on," Bella smirked smugly.

"We'll start with offense…" Edward raced around, trying to find a vulnerability in which to attack his wife.

Sheesh, this was just _too_ weird.

I watched as Bella ran after Edward, trying to catch him. But Edward did a 180 and threw her into a corner. Round one went to the mindfreak.

Edward immediately leaped up. Devastation flew across his face. Bella looked at him with the same perplexed look that I had. He was worried about _hurting_ her? Did he even _know_ that she was virtually indestructible now?

_Pansy._ I rolled my eyes.

"Edward, what is it? What's wrong?" Bella whined.

"I'm so sorry, Bella." He wrapped his arms around her tenderly.

_This_ was how he was going to teach her how to fight against the Volturi? Yeah, that would be _so_ helpful. "_Smack. _Die you stupid vampire asshole…oh wait, I'm so sorry. Let's cuddle…" REALLY?

Bella assured Edward that she was okay. He didn't seem convinced. Well, if he wanted _I_ didn't mind giving Bella a few fighting lessons.

Edward snorted a growl in my direction. I just ignored him. He turned back to Bella.

"I can't…"

Of course he couldn't. Edward Cullen was bred to be a pussy from the day he was born. Apparently, girls found this doting overprotective behavior _attractive_. In my opinion, a girl should know how to defend herself. The least her lover could do was teach her how to throw a punch.

Edward did his whole "mopey" stare at the ground thing while Bella begged him to teach her. She crouched down and leaped forward, and he made no effort to defend himself against her attack. She playfully bit his neck. I stuck my tongue out in disgust. Great, now I was watching Bella give her husband a hickey. Now, instead of learning how to attack the Volturi she was learning how to suck face with them.

"I win," Bella said, satisfied.

Only because he had _let_ her win. Seriously? _This_ is the kind of guy that women found attractive? _Why__?_ What's so hot about a whiny loving little wimp?

"Edward, what's wrong?" Bella questioned.

Well, for one thing he was a complete and utter douche trapped in a marriage to a whiny moron.

Edward mumbled on about the fact that he wasn't the only vampire that knew how to fight. He suggested that Bella ask someone else for help. He moaned and groaned about how he couldn't bear to hurt her. Psh, _I_ could. _Please,__ oh please_, let _me_ hurt her!

"It makes it all too real for me," Edward sighed.

Um, hello? It _was_ real. The Volturi _were_ coming. We were going to have to fight. And he wouldn't even throw a few measly punches at Bella? Not even if it would save her life?

I watched with a yawn as Bella threw a fit.

_Ha. Immature._ I rolled my eyes.

Edward just stared at her and told her to find another teacher. I had already offered. I was more than willing to fight with his stupid wife.

I got bored of seeing the same argument after a while, so I ran a few laps around the perimeter, hoping that maybe Jacob would phase so I could tell him that I forgave his sorry ass. He never did, but by the time I had lapped the area four times I caught his scent. He had Nessie with him.

When I got back to the mansion I noticed that it was no longer just Edward and Bella outside. Jacob had joined them. Nessie was safely in his arms. And there was a big group of vampires crowding around Bella, who was getting fighting lessons from Emmett. _Finally__,_ Bella was going to get the crap kicked out of her by someone who wasn't afraid to damage her _fragile_ vampire body.

I laughed when I heard Emmett taunting Bella. Oh, this could be fun. I found a nice little spot where I could see the action.

"Don't hold anything back," Bella warned Emmett.

The grin on his face said it better than the actual words themselves. "Oh, I _won't_."

I watched as Bella tried to sneak up on Emmett. He quickly threw a kick into her gut. I snickered to myself. Bella reacted by throwing her arms out and trying to grab him. Emmett grabbed both of her hands and twirled around behind her, locking her in his grasp. Bella let out an irritated hiss.

I had decided that Emmett was my favorite Cullen now. Anyone who kicked Bella's butt couldn't be _that_ bad.

"And _that_ is how you win a battle." Emmett threw Bella on to the ground. He looked like he was going to do a touchdown dance or something.

"The only thing I learned from that was that you're still pissed that I can kick your ass at arm-wrestling," Bella spit at Emmett as she stood up.

Emmett just shrugged, "Aw, don't be sad. Not _all_ vampires know how to fight. Some are just clumsy no matter what…"

"Emmett…" Edward rumbled under his breath.

"Hey, she's the one who asked for my help." Emmett still had a grin on his face. "Maybe if you two got a little creative in the bedroom she would know a few moves."

I wasn't the only one shocked.

_Oh! Wow!_

Emmett was by far the _coolest_ vampire I had ever met. I laughed hysterically while Bella and Edward just grumbled hateful phrases at him.

"Dude, I don't see what the big deal is. She wants _you_ to teach her how to fight," Emmett frowned. "So, she's a girl, so what? Throw a little creativity at her," he shrugged. "It's what Rose and I do…"

"Emmett, enough…" Rosalie snapped at her husband.

"Sorry, babe. You wanna take over from here?" he questioned curiously.

To my surprise, Rosalie actually wanted to help Bella learn how to fight. Well, either that, or she was going to get out some of her unresolved hostility towards the girl. They hadn't _always_ gotten along.

"Okay, Bella. I'm going to attack you…" Well, that was no fun. Now that Bella knew what to expect, I wouldn't be able to watch the blonde kick her ass, "Just defend yourself, okay?"

Rosalie raced forward with speed that would have been invisible to the human eye. How fortunate for me that I _wasn't_human.

As Rosalie reached where Bella was standing, Bella lunged forward instinctively to protect herself. When she did Rosalie side-stepped her attack and grabbed her by the throat. Her teeth were at Bella's neck in an instant.

I heard Edward growl disapprovingly, while Emmett took the more _guy_ approach.

"Dude, my wife can kill your wife," he chuckled. He frowned when Edward didn't respond. "Oh, come on. At least take comfort in the fact that this is _totally_ hot…" Emmett admitted that watching Rosalie and Bella fight was making him…_happy_ in one way or another.

"Grow up, Emmett," Edward frowned.

Rosalie released Bella and then looked at her.

"Now, what was your first mistake?"

To my surprise Rosalie actually asked a follow-up question. I guess she really _did_ want Bella to learn.

"Um, letting you get to my throat?" Bella guessed.

Rosalie nodded, "Always protect your weakest area. If someone can get to your throat, it's all over. Focus more on keeping _yourself_ safe, _then_ worry about what your next move should be." She backed away. "Ready to try again?"

"Absolutely." Bella seemed enthralled.

Rosalie raced towards Bella again. I frowned. I had always envisioned that Blondie would one day beat the crap out Bella, but now that it was happening…for the wrong reasons, I was little disappointed.

Bella spun away from Rosalie and was able to avoid her attack. Even more surprising is the fact that she was able to gain the upper-hand as she crouched forward on the unsuspecting Rosalie.

I saw Edward grin smugly at Emmett. He didn't say anything. Of course, he didn't have to. His face just screamed, _"Whose wife is winning now?"_

"Very good." Rosalie was impressed. "But how do you think you would do with multiple people attacking?" She waved for Tanya to join them.

Oh, yay! More people to beat on Bella! I'm glad I had come out here tonight. I watched as Tanya and Rosalie tag-teamed Bella. Bella did surprisingly well, to my dismay. Even Eleazar took a turn at teaching her. So, he wasn't _exactly_ like Edward. At least _he_ wasn't afraid to get down and dirty.

Then one of the vampire's I hadn't seen before taught Bella a few interesting techniques. He seemed very curious for a vampire. Garrett was like a child in the fact that he was eager and not afraid of anything. It seemed as if his attitude were "bring it on." He looked like he liked to challenge himself. He was very patient when training with Bella.

Bella seemed more confident after her lessons. "Emmett, I'd like to try my hand at fighting you again."

"It's your funeral," Emmett laughed.

I watched as Bella and Emmett tussled again. To my surprise, they were fairly matched, but in the end Emmett still won. I think he might have thrown a tantrum if he had lost…especially to a girl.

I saw Jacob flinch when a vampire named Zafrina stepped forward and offered to help. She spoke in a deeper voice than the rest of the vampires. And she looked like she had just crawled out of a bad 80's rock video with the crazy clothes she was wearing. She was eccentric to say the least. I took an automatic step back. She made _me_ a little nervous to be here.

"I don't want to frighten you…" Zafrina told Bella.

_Too late,_ I laughed callously.

Bella's face displayed a fear that would have been readable to _anyone_ within a mile of here. I watched as Zafrina did some freaky mind mojo, making Bella apparently see things that weren't there. So, she was like a giant hallucinogen? I bet every drug dealer in the world would kill to have the kind of power she had. Me, I shuddered at the thought. There had been one time I hadn't sleep for weeks and I started to see things that weren't there. I vividly remember a green talking skeleton head coming towards me as I laid in my bed. The funny thing is, I wasn't afraid of it. I just covered my eyes with my blanket to make it go away because it wouldn't stop yammering on about some movie I'd never seen. It was really annoying.

Turns out it was Seth. He'd been having trouble sleeping too, and decided to keep me company. Insomnia and sibling bonding just don't mix.

Nessie watched Zafrina curiously from Jacob's arms. At one point, she asked to be put down so she could go see what Zafrina was showing her mother. It amazed me that Nessie had _no_ fear. How could a kid like _her_be related to two such moronic vampires?

It was about the time that Bella's training had finished that Jacob looked over and noticed that I was watching from the trees. He looked genuinely surprised to see me. I guess he was so preoccupied by being surrounded by so many vampires that he hadn't sensed me.

_Some werewolf you are._

Everyone else had sensed me here. But not my genius of a leader…

Jacob handed Nessie to Zafrina and walked towards me.

I wish I could have read the expression on his face to know what he was thinking. Well, I was about to find out if he was angry at my behavior.

I had spent most of this evening wanting to fight Bella. But I might just have to settle for fighting with Jacob.


	52. What the hell is a shield anyway?

_Guess we both know we're in over our heads_

_We've got no where to go and no home that's left_

_The water is rising on a river turning red_

_It all might be okay, or we might be dead_

_"All I need"_

_-Mat Kearney_

* * *

**Chapter 52:**

**What the hell is a shield anyway?**

I was surprised when Jacob phased to talk to me. I took that as a good sign. Instead of him telling me to get the hell out of here, he was going to take the time to actually _say_ something to me.

He surprised me with what he thought first.

_I'm glad that you came._

_Uh, you haven't by chance been hanging around Zafrina to get high have you_? She _was_ a hallucinogen. Maybe she had other pseudo effects too.

_Why do you keep hanging up on me when I call_? Jacob questioned.

_Because you pissed me off._

_I apologized for that._

_No, you had Sam apologize __FOR__ you...which is completely uncool by the way._

_I'm sorry._

_There. Was that so hard_? I joked.

_So, you accept_?

_Of course I don't. I'm still mad at you. But I understand that you were upset when you said what you did._

_It's true. We both have a habit of saying things we don't mean when we're angry._

_"We?"_ I questioned. _No, don't you lump us together with that stupid flapping jaw of yours._

_I've missed this._ Jacob referred to our bickering. _It's not the same with Emmett. He's just a dick. Plus, his stupid wife yells at him all the time and it ruins our fun. At least with you, I know we're going to have a blast fighting._

_Gee, I'm so touched that you enjoy demeaning me._ I rolled my eyes. Then I let out a laugh. _I'm sorry I've been acting like such a baby. I just got upset._

_I've learned never to underestimate your reactions,_ Jacob admitted. _Though, I was kind of surprised that you managed to turn Seth against me._

I glanced at the ground.

_Yeah, that wasn't all me. He's really upset about the Alpha command thing. And he's pissed that you won't let us stay here with you, especially with all these vamps around. You two need to get together and work out whatever issues there are between you, because we don't have a lot of time left._

_I dunno. Bella's working pretty hard on projecting her shield._

So the fate of the entire group rested on the shoulders of a vampire who couldn't think of anyone other than herself for more than ten seconds? I'd said it once, and I had no problem saying it again. _We. Are. Screwed._

_Hey, how are the new trainees coming along?_ Jake questioned.

_They're idiots that don't know how to fight._ I nodded. _So, about what I expected them to be._

_Sam told me what happened yesterday. And Emmett told me, too. Though both of their stories are completely different._

_Of course._

_I'd like to hear your side. _

I flashed the memory in my mind. _First, we saw a fight. Then, we stopped said fight. The end._

_I think I much prefer your straightforward story than the two dramatic ones that I got._

_Yep, that's what I love about us. Zero bullshit._ I shrugged.

I heard Nessie call out curiously, looking for where Jacob had gone.

_Gotta run,_ Jacob said. _But I'm really glad that we're talking again._

He was right about that. No matter how angry I got with him, I would never be able to forgive myself from walking away from his friendship. He phased back and waved to me.

"Feel free to stick around. Watching Bella trying to use her shield is actually kind of cool." Jacob jogged towards where Zafrina was occupying Nessie with God only knows _what_ kind of thoughts.

"Interesting." Zafrina looked to where I was peeking out of the trees. "How many of there are you exactly?" she asked Jacob.

Jacob took Nessie and started to bounce her playfully in his arms.

"Enough to make the Volturi stop when they come here," Jacob said with confidence.

"Let's go to the river," Nessie suggested to Jacob. She looked over at Zafrina and someone who I assumed had to be Zafrina's sister. "Will you and Senna come?"

"Of course, child." Zafrina took her hand and started to lead her towards the creek. It was probably a good thing to get Nessie away from all the violence going on at home. She was messed up enough already without having to understand why people are punching and jumping on mommy all of a sudden. Though, I sure as hell got a kick out of it.

Jacob followed the two Amazonian women very closely. Though I could see that though he knew Nessie was safe, he still didn't trust her with them.

I moved a little closer. Emmett and Rosalie noticed my presence.

"Ugh. Why are there _always_ dogs around?" Rosalie grumbled.

"Aw, honey, they're not so bad." He smirked at me. "Look, she's even kind of cute…in a monster sort of way. You know, if you rub her belly just right she kicks her foot in the air…" Emmett teased me.

_I'm about to put my foot __somewhere_… I frowned back. Namely, his ass.

Kate silenced us as she went forward with Bella's lesson to learn to project her power. I watched as Bella tried to make it work. She squished her face up in concentration and grunted a little. It looked like she was getting ready to take a dump, _not_ throw an invisible forcefield around her surrounding area.

I mocked Bella, _Fear me, for I am a mighty vampire__ who will shit on you to death_. If the Volturi saw her making _that_ face they might just hand her some laxatives.

Kate and Edward assured her she was doing fine. I didn't agree. From where I was standing, she hadn't learned a damn thing.

I listened as Bella moaned and complained about how she was never going to get the hang of how to use her shield. Gee, what a surprise. She was giving up. I rolled my eyes. Though, I had to admit that it was entertaining for me to see Kate shock the hell out of Edward time and time again. As much grief as I had given the mindreader about being a wimp, he had been the only person to volunteer to let Kate shock him while Bella tried to project her shield.

Kate zapped him and Edward cringed. He faced Bella, who let out a huff, "I'm never going to get this…"

"Hey, come on. That one barely stung…" Edward lied. His lying was worse than mine. Which was _bad._

Bella grunted at Kate, "Again…"

I watched as Kate touched Edward, but to my surprise he didn't react. He stared blankly. He hadn't felt that. For once, Bella had succeeded.

"Nice, Bella," Kate said through a fake smile. I heard her grumble though, "That wasn't low either…"

Kate went to shock Edward again and he doubled over from the jolt this time.

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry!" Bella cried at Edward.

_Jeeze, stop whining and just get on with the training._ I frowned.

Edward embraced Bella and assured her that she was doing just fine.

"You've only been working at this for a few days, and you're already projecting sporadically. Kate, tell her how well she's doing."

_Yeah, lie to make the little wimp feel better._

"I don't know." Kate pursed her lips.

I couldn't contain my laughter. Kate was great. At least _she_ wouldn't lie to put Bella's ego at ease. I was glad that there was someone here besides me who wasn't going to let Bella get away with being such a crybaby. Kate would call her on her crap.

"I think she can do better. She's just lacking incentive." Kate frowned.

I had to agree with Kate. If Bella had this power, with all this practice she should be _miles_ better at trying to perfect it by now. I was betting that if it were Nessie getting the jolts, Bella would find some way to protect her.

Edward heard my thoughts and growled.

"She stays out of this…" he snarled at me.

Kate glanced at Edward as he peered at Nessie. I guess the same thought registered in her head.

I saw Edward snap his focus back to Kate and respond to something she had said in her thoughts, "You can't be serious?"

Wait, what had I missed? I looked curiously at Edward. He glanced at me with his lip curled up. Apparently this was somehow _my_ fault.

"She _agrees_ with you…" he snapped at me.

Well, I guess that was a good thing considering I had about half a dozen vampires here who would probably rip me limb from limb just for _suggesting_ it.

"Kate…" Edward growled a warning.

But Kate was already running to catch Zafrina and Senna who were playing with Nessie along the bank of the river.

I watched as Jacob eyed all of the vampires surrounding Nessie suspiciously.

"Nessie…" Kate smiled at her. "...would you like to come and help your mother?"

Holy shit, she was going to go _through_ with this? I was just being facetious. I wouldn't have _dreamed_ of actually putting Nessie in harm's way. Jake would kill me.

Nessie ignored her mother's pleas that she not do this. She jumped into Bella's arms and smiled.

"I want to help."

Bella took an automatic step backwards as Kate slowly walked towards her.

Wow, Bella was going to freak out. I just knew it. I watched as a grin escaped Kate's lips. She was confident. But that confidence might just get her killed. If Bella could have turned red from anger, she would have. She hugged Nessie tightly as Kate took another step forward.

A growl escaped Bella's lips. One that _clearly_ said, "back off, bitch." Edward warned Kate to be careful…which I found a bit odd considering that his daughter was in danger of being shocked.

After taking another step forward, Kate took her eyes off of Bella and Nessie and turned to Edward. Well, that was stupid of her. Bella crouched forward, ready to attack.

Kate then said something that caused Bella to pause in her attack.

"Can you hear anything from Nessie?" She looked at Edward curiously.

Edward shook his head as he lunged in between Kate and Bella.

_Oh_! I got it. They had just scared Bella into using her shield. Pretty crafty. And a bold move from the usually pussified Edward.

"No. Now ease up. You really shouldn't toy with her like that. I know she doesn't seem her age, but Bella's _still_ a newborn. You could have been attacked and none of us could have helped you…"

Kate just shrugged it off. She wasn't afraid.

"We don't have time to do this gently, Edward." She frowned. Kate had a point. As much as I hated to admit it, Bella was our _only_ hope of survival. If she didn't get a hang of this "shield" thing, we were all going to get ripped to shreds. And if we continued to let Bella get away with, "Wah, I can't do this, it's too hard…" instead of pushing her forward with motivation, this was all going to be in vain.

"Back off, Kate." Edward warned her again.

I watched as Bella panted angrily. She looked at Kate and then at Edward. She placed her hand gently on Edward's back. Was she going to break his spine for tricking her? I laughed.

"Edward only." She nodded for Kate to shock her husband.

Kate closed the gap between them and pressed her palm to Edward's shoulder. He didn't flinch. Bella had just successfully and _willingly_ used her shield.

So all we had to do was keep her completely pissed off the entire time the Volturi was here and we might actually win this thing. I guess that job could fall to me. I pissed _everyone_ off.

Zafrina stepped forward again.

"Can you see this?" She was apparently causing a hallucination. I wondered what she was making them see. I imagined something like pink elephants and purple hippos dancing around in tutus.

"I don't see anything I shouldn't." Edward shrugged.

Nessie confirmed that she wasn't seeing anything out of the ordinary either. Of course, she was a half vampire kid. _Everything_ about her life was unordinary.

"No one panic…" Zafrina turned to the group of vampires watching.

Well, _those_ words were never good to hear. As soon as you tell someone not to panic, the first thing they're going to do is scream about how the world was ending or something. She might have well just said, _Oh, God, we're all going to die! There's so much blood!_

I watched as anxious expressions formed on the vampires faces. Zafrina must have blinded them. Zafrina encouraged Bella to see if she could extend her shield. After a few seconds, Kate had her sight back. The shield was expanding. Wow, this was actually kind of cool.

Edward mentioned that whether or not someone was behind the shield, he could still hear our thoughts.

_Comb your hair,_ I suggested sarcastically. He liked to invade minds so much, I figured I might as well give him hell for being in mine.

Garrett was the next one to regain his sight. Besides Senna, he was the only vampire there that didn't look afraid of what Zafrina had been doing to him. He looked wildly inquisitive.

"Can I have a minute?" Bella looked like she was getting tired. Wow, it was weird to see a vampire emotionally exhausted.

A few of the vampires wandered away after Zafrina gave them their sight back. What a bunch of wussies. The only two vampires that didn't stray were Kate and Garrett.

I watched curiously as Garrett questioned Kate about her power. He seemed enthralled that she could put someone on their back with just one touch. Weirdo.

"Curious?" Kate smiled playfully at him.

Garrett teased her and said that she had to be exaggerating; that no one could really have that much _electricity_ in their system. I felt like I was watching two five-year-olds on the playground. There was always that little bratty boy who pulled the hair of the girl he had a crush on and then ran away. Garrett was that boy.

So, now not only was this a training ground for vampires, it was a matchmaking service? Fantastic.

Garrett smirked as he raised his index finger. "I'm not afraid of you." He touched her.

He was on the ground less than two seconds later.

"Told you so," Edward murmured. The most used of all childhood phrases.

I _was_ watching a bunch of five-year-olds!

After a few seconds, Garrett looked up at Kate with a smile on his face. Had that oddball actually _enjoyed_ being in pain?

"I'm not crazy…" Garrett shook his head.

I begged to differ.

"But that was sure something!" he added.

The laughter suddenly ceased when there was a commotion from inside the house.

"Did Alice send you?" I heard Carlisle ask.

That's right. Alice and Jasper were still out there sending vampires this way. I had completely forgotten about that.

I watched Edward dart into the house. The others followed with Bella lagging behind slowly, Nessie perched on her back. She looked like a little monkey.

I watched as Bella disappeared into the house. Though I didn't particularly like her, I couldn't deny that she was our _only_ hope against the Volturi. And after seeing what she would do to protect Nessie from Kate, I was confident that with a little work, this battle might not be lost after all. For the first time since I had learned about the battle, I had a glimmer of hope that we might actually win.

I was alone again. I guess Embry hadn't been able to sneak past his mother after all. After a few minutes of deliberation, I decided that it was about time for me to go home. It had been long enough for mom to pretty much gut the entire house and spray it down with every cleaner known to man. And if she _was_ still cleaning when I got back, I'd just slip a sedative of some kind into her drink so she couldn't force me to clean too.

It was on my way home when the new hope I'd felt disappeared. I remembered Carlisle's words to the new guest, "Did _Alice_ send you?" The little fortune teller was gone. She had seen what the future held for us and she bailed.

I started to wonder something. With so many werewolves fighting side by side with the vampires, _how_ could Alice have seen the battle? We clouded her sight. Had she jumped the gun when she couldn't see her family's future any longer? Maybe she had never even _seen_ a battle. She could have very easily misunderstood why her visions disappeared. She assumed that because her family's future disappeared, they were all doomed. But it was possible that the future disappeared because _we_ were in it. _We_ were fighting the battle with them. Did Alice know that? She couldn't have. If my assumption was true...if Alice had misinterpreted her vision...it was possible that she really _didn't_ know the outcome of the battle.

Maybe we weren't doomed after all.


	53. Things are getting really freaking weird

_I have only this breath, to keep this moment_

_At the dawn of today, all the mystery left_

_Is here before me_

_But can my heart turn away?_

_I've come too far now..._

_These four walls could never hold me_

_And these two hands_

_Could never hold me back_

_I'm just before the open door  
_

_"These two Hands"_

_-Hana Pestle_

* * *

**Chapter 53:**

**Things are getting really freaking weird  
**

I was amazed at how optimistic I became over the next week. I continued to help Sam train the new wolves. Justin and Danny apologized profusely for their actions that had broken two of my fingers. I didn't care. I was over it.

I think I surprised Embry with my newfound hopeful attitude. I explained to him that I had to believe that Alice couldn't possibly know what was coming since she couldn't _see_ when we were around. He still asked me if I had lost my mind.

"Are you feeling okay?" he questioned.

"Fine. Why?"

"Because I'm starting to worry that you've had a lobotomy or are experimenting with drugs or something. Because you just seem too…_calm_…" He looked at me out of the corner of his eyes.

"I'm sure I can find something to throw a fit about." I shrugged. I looked around my living room. "There…" I glanced at the floor where Seth had carelessly thrown his shoes, "...I've told that moron _thousands_ of times to put his damn shoes away. I nearly broke my neck last week."

"There's the cynic I know and love." Embry kissed my forehead.

We could hear my mom rushing around the kitchen.

"What's she up to?" Embry questioned.

"She's afraid Charlie is going to die of starvation." I rolled my eyes. She was planning on taking lunch over to Charlie.

"I'm guessing that you're never going to cook for me?" Embry asked. I gave him a stern look and he laughed. "I'll take care of meals in the future. Growing up with just my mom has a few perks. She had me cooking full course meals when I was seven."

I laughed as I teased him. "Do you _knit_ too?"

"Crochet." Embry nodded. "I do some needlework."

"Mama's boy." I shoved him playfully.

"Leah? I'm heading over to Charlie's now. Make sure Seth gets his room cleaned up." She walked into the living room.

"Yeah, it's starting to smell like something died in there." I agreed with her. I saw that she had a picnic basket and I couldn't help but tease her. "It's a little rainy for a picnic." The rain was really coming down out there today.

She glared at me jokingly."My soggy food will still be better than the crap that Charlie cooks for himself." She glanced up in thought. "I mean, I love him dearly, but the man can't cook to save his life. He's been living on Pop-Tarts and frozen Pizza since Bella moved out."

"Sounds like he has it _made_." Embry smiled. Of course he would think that kind of life was cool. He was a _guy_.

"Well, have fun." I nodded. "Billy going with you?" Sometimes Billy tagged along with my mom when she went over to Charlie's. He had spent a lot of his time sulking at home lately. It would be good for him to get out of the house.

My mom scowled. Wow, what had her so pissed off? She just shook her head.

"Not this time."

"Is something wrong?"

"Billy and I had a disagreement."

"About what?" I really hoped that it didn't have anything to do with the wolves or vampires. I hated it when they fought about us.

"Well, Billy thinks that I should spend less time with Charlie…and I disagreed." She frowned. "He _claims_ that he just doesn't like me getting so comfortable with the vampires. But I think he's a bit concerned with how serious the relationship between me and Charlie has gotten."

I shuddered when I thought of their _closeness_. I had been an unwilling witness to their _love_ more than once. If I wasn't _already_ a screw up, I would be suffering from severe emotional trauma from the times I had seen _old people_ love.

"Go easy on him, Mrs. C," Embry said softly. "He's just trying to look out for you."

I was surprised that Embry had decided to speak up. Normally he stayed out of this kind of thing.

"It'd be a lot easier if he wasn't such a stubborn old fool." My mom shook her head. She softened her expression and sighed, "Ah, we'll get over this hurdle. We always do. Maybe I'll give him a call…" she said, "...as soon as he stops acting like some idiotic jealous teenager."

When my mom walked out the door, Embry and I looked at each other and burst into laughter.

"And we thought _our_ love lives were complicated." I chuckled.

I heard my mother's car pull away. Seth was snoring loudly from his room. The fact that _he_ was sleeping made _me_ tired. I yawned. I looked over at Embry. He looked exhausted too. We had been running drills with the new kids all night. It was hard for me to believe, but they _were_ actually getting better at fighting. But it was very tiring.

"I take it that you're as close to crashing as me?" Embry yawned.

"I didn't realize how tired I was. I've been running on adrenaline for like the past month," I admitted.

"Me too," Embry said. "Well, that, and caffeine has become my new best friend."

"Bet you fall asleep before I do." I challenged him.

"You're on."

We spent the next twenty minutes sitting in silence, occasionally poking one another to see if the other was still awake. I think it's safe to say that we both drifted off at about the same time. Or at least, that was the excuse that I was going to use so I didn't lose the bet.

When I woke up several hours later, I saw Seth and Embry playing some graphic video game. I shrugged and sat up.

"What time is it?" I yawned.

Seth didn't hesitate as he pulled dad's pocket-watch out and glanced at it proudly. He turned to face me.

"Two." We hadn't slept very long. "Mom is on her way home."

"Already? Wow. She didn't stay at Charlie's very long." So had she just _thrown_ the food at him and walked out the door?

"He's coming back with her." Seth shrugged. "He has Nessie…"

Wait, Bella _left_ Nessie in the care of her _father_? Had the girl completely lost her mind? For one, Charlie had _no_ idea how to care for a child such as Nessie. And more importantly, what about the vampires that were attached to the little mutant? What if they went wandering around looking for her and stumbled across her father in the process? Was she _trying_ to get Charlie killed?

Seth interrupted the rant in my head, "Jacob's with them," he said. "He's actually the one who called. Said something about Bella disappearing or being up to something." He shrugged. "Anyway, Charlie was worried that Nessie would get bored at his house. He doesn't have any toys for her to play with, cept the ones he got her for Christmas…" I had forgotten that Christmas was only a few days away. When you get wrapped up in training and trying _not_ to die, time seems to fly by. "So mom suggested that they swing by here. She's got a whole basket full of toys for when she watches Claire."

I laughed. "I wonder what Claire would have to say about sharing her toys with a half vampire child?"

"She probably wouldn't care considering most of these days she spends her time torturing Quil." Embry smiled. "Yesterday she made him dress up as a princess and then locked him out of the house for the whole neighborhood to see how _pretty_ he looked."

"God, I hope someone has pictures." I would _kill_ to see that.

I heard mom's car pull up out front, followed by Charlie's car. She and Charlie were chatting happily. I could hear Jacob's footsteps a few paces behind them. I'm sure he's the one who was holding Nessie. My thoughts were confirmed a few minutes later when they came in.

"Hey, Leah. Seth. Embry." Jacob waved. Nessie was curled up against Jacob's side. She looked quite content there.

"S'up, man?" Embry questioned.

"Hey, Jake." Seth waved.

Seth and Jacob had spoken about their strained friendship. Fortunately, they had found a way to work it out and they were back to not hating each other so much. I was proud of the fact that they were able to man up and talk about their _feelings_.

"I'll go grab the toys." My mom disappeared down the hallway. A few minutes later, she came back in dragging Claire's toy chest. I looked at Nessie. She looked _completely_ uninterested. After all, the kid was reading Shakespeare and Hemingway. A frog that teaches the ABC's would be pointless for her to play with. It was kind of degrading in a way. But Nessie didn't seem to mind the charade. She cooed happily when mom pulled out some singing Walrus who rapped the numbers from one to ten. She clapped her hands. Was she really entertained? Or was she _actually_ that good of a little actress?

"You know, Charlie, I noticed a…thing when I pulled this toy box out from the wall. There's um, an…electrical outlet…I want you to take a look at." My mom glanced down the hallway. If this was her attempt at being subtle to run off and play kissy face with her boyfriend, she sucked at it.

"Hmmm, I guess I could check it out." Charlie nodded seriously. He gave her a wink that was probably only meant for her eyes, but he wasn't very good at hiding his motives either.

_Oh, just go and make out already._ I tried not to say that out loud. I didn't want to piss my mom off. She was already upset about Billy. I didn't need to give her another reason to be angry. I just watched as they disappeared down the hallway.

"You know, they're not _really_ looking at anything electrical…" Jacob bounced Nessie happily in his lap. "Though, there might be _electricity_ of some kind involved." He smirked suggestively.

"Say another word and I'll bite you," Seth threatened.

Jacob's comments hadn't bothered me. I had pretty much accepted the fact that Charlie Swan was going to be my new daddy a _long_ time ago. Seth was still sore thinking about mom and Charlie getting so close…especially on a physical level. It bothered him more than me.

"Seth, put down that video game controller and say hi to Nessie. She's missed you, man." Jacob put Nessie down. Nessie looked around carefully to make sure that my mom and Charlie wouldn't catch her doing something that normal babies wouldn't do. Seth put down the controller and smiled.

"Aw, I'm sorry, Ness. Come here." He stood up, ready to embrace Nessie in a hug. Nessie hopped over to him like a little bunny and then leaped into his arms.

She kept her voice quiet, so as not to startle my mom and Charlie, who were just down the hall. "I miss you. Where have you been?"

"Oh, Jake hasn't told you?" Seth questioned. He glanced at Jacob. Jake shrugged, so Seth responded, "We're trying to get ready for the big arrival so everything goes according to plan." Hats off to my brother for finding a way to state that in such a way that: one, wouldn't frighten Nessie, and two, would still leave my mom and Charlie completely clueless as to what was really going on.

"I have lots of new friends," Nessie admitted as Seth put her down. She zipped over to me. "But I want to be with my Jacob's pack." I cringed a little when I heard her refer to Jacob as "her" Jacob. Since when was she so possessive? Nessie took my hand. I did my best not to flinch, so I wouldn't hurt her delicate little vampire feelings.

Jacob saved me from my discomfort.

"Hey, Ness, why don't you play with Seth and Embry? I need to talk to Leah."

Nessie let go of my hand and I let out a sigh of relief as she toddled over to Seth and Embry.

"Thanks for the distraction," I said quietly.

"Wasn't a distraction." Jacob motioned for me to follow him. "We really do need to talk."

I frowned. Of course we did. Trade one uncomfortable situation for another. Boy, I was _so_ lucky.

Jacob and I walked outside. It was still drizzling, but the rain had let up tremendously.

"How's training?" Jacob questioned.

"Actually, it's going pretty well. The new kids are learning. They still can't fight worth crap, but they've got a shot at actually taking down a vamp or two."

I saw Jacob furrow his brow and look at the ground seriously.

"I don't like the idea of twelve-year-olds going into battle."

"Yeah, and I'm so _thrilled_ about it." I rolled my eyes. "Sam says there's nothing we can do."

"He could order them to stay home. To keep quiet. Maybe the vampires wouldn't suspect there are more of us," Jacob suggested.

"Uh huh, what fairytale world are _you_ living in?" I asked sarcastically. "No matter what happens, this is not going to end well for the youngest wolves."

"It's just very frustrating."

"Believe me, I know." I nodded. "You think I actually want to watch these kids go into a fight? Do you think I _want_ to see my brother out there in the clearing getting his head ripped off by some pissed off vampire? There's not a lot we can do, Jake. We just have to keep training and hope that Alice knows what she's doing."

Jacob laughed at me. "Since when do you have faith in Alice?"

"I don't." I shrugged. "That's the point. Her visions are _far_ from perfect. She _couldn't_ have seen the battle, Jake. _We_ are going to be there."

Jacob thought for a moment.

"I…never thought of that…"

"Yeah, no one has." I rolled my eyes. "They all rely on her visions _way_ too much. Remember when Bella decided to go cliff-diving and Alice automatically assumed we should start writing her eulogy?" I reminded him that Alice had never interpreted her visions correctly. She was quite the little trouble-maker because of that. She _assumed_ way too much. That's the problem with psychics; they thought that just because they could see the future, they knew what it meant. But things can easily be misinterpreted.

"If she didn't see the battle, then why did she run?" Jacob questioned.

"Because she always impulsively jumps the gun?" I guessed. "I dunno."

"By now, she should have figured out that the wolves are involved. If she knows that, then why hasn't she contacted anybody?" Jacob grumbled.

I really didn't know what Alice's plan was, if she even had one.

"Maybe she wants to surprise everyone?" For someone who had spent her entire life _never_ being surprised, Alice sure did like to surprise others.

"Still, I would have thought that she'd at least call to check in," he grumbled to himself. "First, Alice takes off without so much as a goodbye, and now Bella's acting all weird and secretive. I'm hanging out with a bunch of psychos."

"You're just now figuring that out?" I laughed.

"Has Bella mentioned anything to you?" Jacob asked me curiously.

I stifled out a laugh. Did Jacob think that Bella and I were _friends_? I opened my mouth to reply seriously, but spontaneously decided that I was going to be a smartass instead.

"Now that you mention it, she did say something about going to visit some guy up north…"

"What?" Jacob spun his head around to look me in the eyes.

"Oh, yeah." I nodded seriously. I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. "I think she has some business with some guy named Nick…"

"Really?"

"You might know him. He runs around in a hideous red coat. Old dude. Kinda creepy." The laughter was getting harder to contain. Jacob looked like he was in serious thought. "Calls himself 'Santa Claus.'"

Jacob glared at me. "That's not funny, Leah."

"You should have seen your face!" I squealed out the laughter I had been working so hard to conceal.

"But I'm worried about what Bella's up to." Jacob didn't smile.

"She's always been a whackjob, Jake." I shrugged. "Who knows what she's planning? Don't worry. She's probably just out buying encyclopedias for Nessie for Christmas."

His tone softened a little as he looked at me with a weird expression, "Since when are you so reasonable?"

"Since I realized that Alice might have been wrong about the battle's outcome." I nodded. "And if she isn't, then why should I spend what's left of my life in a bad mood?"

"Yeah, because you've spent the first twenty years as little Miss. Happy-go-lucky…" Jacob muttered sarcastically.

"Jacob!" I heard my brother exclaim from behind us. "Nessie wants you."

I followed him as we walked back towards my house.

"Hey, do me a favor and don't mention anything about Alice in front of Nessie. She's still very upset at hers and Jasper's departure."

I felt bad for Nessie. No one was being truthful with her. No one would set her aside and tell her what was really going on. It had to suck being on the outside looking in, knowing that something is wrong, but no one will tell you what it is.

As the afternoon went on, I watched as Nessie entertained Jake, Seth, and Embry. I have to admit that I was amused when Nessie learned how to master the video game that the boys were playing. She completely kicked all of their asses. After a couple of hours, Charlie and my mom reappeared.

"Well, Sue…those pipes shouldn't give you any more trouble." Charlie nodded as they walked into the living room with a bit of an untidy appearance.

"I thought you were looking at the electricity." I grinned. Charlie glanced at my mother nervously as I let out a laugh. "Your shirt is on inside out loverboy…" I pointed out.

"Well, I should be getting Nessie back to my place. Bella should be back to pick her up at anytime." Charlie clapped his hands together in anxiety. Jacob walked over to Charlie and Nessie reached her arms out for her Grandfather.

"I think my dad would love to have me sleep in my own bed for a night." Jacob nodded. I think spending time with the leeches was really starting to get to him.

I saw a look of panic flash across Charlie's face. He looked afraid that they were going to leave him alone with Nessie. Nessie let out a happy sigh and then laid her head down against Charlie's shoulder. I saw Charlie's fear completely disappear.

"Are you worn out, Ness?" Charlie rubbed her back tenderly. Nessie cooed. She still didn't speak around my mom and Charlie. I guess she figured it would freak them out. It probably would.

_ "Nessie, what would like for dinner, sweetie?"_

_ "Can I have a dead deer?"_

Charlie would die from shock.

"I'll walk you out," Jacob said. "I need to head home anyway. I bet my old man will be shocked to see me walking through the front door."

"I'll see you later, Sue." Charlie waved. "We still on for Christmas?" he questioned.

"You bet." My mom smiled.

I waited until he and Jacob had left before I asked my mom about the holidays.

"Christmas?"

"We're going to spend it with Charlie," Mom said.

I thought about it. I guess that didn't sound _too_ terrible. I'd certainly had _worse_ Christmases. There was one Christmas when Seth and I'd both had the flu. That was the same year that I had insisted I had seen Santa sparring with the Easter Bunny in our living room. My mother explained to me that it was just the fever talking. And then, of course, there was the first Christmas after my dad had died. That was hard on all of us.

"Bella and Edward are bringing Nessie by," Mom added.

I kept my snide comments to myself. So, it was going to suck a little. I could get over it.

"And Sam and Emily are coming…"

Okay, it was going to suck _a lot_.

"I think it will be nice to have everyone under the same roof," she admitted. "It will give us all a chance to catch up."

Yeah, either _that_, or we would all kill each other.

I was not looking forward to Christmas anymore.


	54. Merry fucking Christmas

_Vampires roasting on an open fire_

_The nasty scent fills up your nose_

_Giant flames created by a pyre_

_Gathering around your burning foes_

_Everybody knows vampires reap what they really sow_

_Help me make this holiday bright_

_Slaying vampires, with their red eyes all aglow_

_Will help me sleep so good tonight_

_They know that wolves are on their way_

_They're loaded with lots of ammo for the vamps to pay_

_And every werewolf is gonna spy_

_To make sure the leeches really are going to die_

_-"The Christmas Song Parody"_

_-Me!_

* * *

**Chapter 54:**

**Merry Fucking Christmas**

The next couple of days I tried to figure out a way to get out of going to Charlie's for Christmas. When the morning did finally arrive, I still didn't have a plan. I tried the whole "locking myself in my room" approach. My mom wasn't going to let me get away with that.

"Come on, Leah, let's get moving!" My mother pounded on my door.

I grumbled. I didn't want to spend Christmas Day with a bunch of people I couldn't stand. This was not going to be fun for me.

"Uh, I don't feel well." I lied.

"You've spent three days trying to come up with an excuse and you couldn't do any better than that?" She opened my bedroom door. "You're a _werewolf,_ dear. Werewolves don't get the sniffles."

I glanced at her. It would be harder to lie to her face.

"Werewolves _can_ get sick…" I shrugged.

"Let's go." She grabbed me and pulled me out of my room. She shook her head and sighed, "Have you no Christmas spirit?"

"Christmas spirit?" I muttered something to her about me having _Christmas spirit_ bleeding out the wazoo. I shrugged as I walked out the front door. Seth was on the front porch talking to Embry and Quil. They were riding out with us to Charlie's. The more, the freaking merrier. Although, it would be nice to have Embry by my side.

Seth, Embry, Quil, and I crammed into my mother's car. I spent the entire ride out to Charlie's sitting in silence.

Charlie greeted us excitedly, "Merry Christmas!"

He was a little over-excited. He was always so happy when he knew that Bella was coming for a visit. I couldn't understand _why_. If it were me, I would be happy when Bella _didn't_ visit.

"Merry Christmas to you, too." My mom kissed Charlie. "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a spread to prepare."

"Oh, Emily and Sam are already here. Emily's cleaning up the kitchen." He looked at his feet, as if he were ashamed. "She scolded me for having so many expired foods."

My mom laughed. She disappeared into the kitchen. She and Emily were going to be in charge of lunch. Mom had originally tried to make me her little kitchen buddy, but I told her I didn't want the job. She didn't seem too disappointed. I guess she kind of wanted Emily's help anyway. At first, it made me feel crappy. Emily was the girl that Sam had always dreamed of, and now she was the daughter that my mother didn't have. But I got over it.

I tried not to laugh when I entered the house. I was unsuccessful.

"Oh my God. It looks like Christmas threw up in here." I looked at Charlie's badly decorated tree. It looked like a two-year-old had tried to trim the tree.

"Yeah, it's not so much fun without Bella around anymore," Charlie admitted. Well, the guy knew how to make me feel bad for him.

My mom peeked her head around the corner.

"Why don't you help him finish decorating the tree, Leah?"

I didn't feel _that_ bad for him.

"No. I was just kidding. I think it looks fine." _Lie. Lie like you've never lied before! _My thoughts screamed at me.

I saw Sam walk out of the kitchen with a smile on his face. "I'll put a few more ornaments on it." He volunteered.

I glared at him. Oh, sure, make _me_ look like a bitch.

"Hey, you guys wanna see what Edward, Bella, and Nessie got me?" Charlie's eyes lit up.

_I'd rather jab myself with a barbeque fork._ But instead of continuing to be a complete ass, I figured I would let Charlie have a nice holiday.

"Sure."

We followed Charlie into his living room. He explained that Jacob, Bella, Edward, and Nessie should be here any minute. His gift had arrived last night.

"Wow, that's so cool!" Seth exclaimed as Charlie proudly displayed his new sonar fishing system.

"Yeah, it uses sound waves to detect the fish under the water. I can't wait to try this bad boy out."

"Billy is going to be so jealous." Quil chuckled.

It really was the perfect present for him. It's too bad that I had treated the Cullens like crap. They were loaded with money. I bet birthdays and holidays with them were always nice. Even so, I don't think I would feel right accepting gifts from vampires.

I heard a car pull into the driveway up front. So they hadn't come on foot? That was interesting. I composed myself as I got ready to be stuck in a room with two and a half vampires…and their pet dog.

The pet dog was the first one through the door. Jacob looked oddly happy to be here.

"Ho, ho, ho, everyone!"

"Starting on the eggnog a little early, aren't we?" I teased him. The smile faded from my face when Edward and Bella entered the room behind him. Bella had Nessie cradled in her arms, as always.

"Dad…" Bella smiled at her father. She looked troubled. If she didn't want her father asking questions, she was going to have to get a little better at her acting. If her dad hadn't been standing right there, I would have offered a suggestion, _Pretend like there's nothing on your mind. That should be easy for an empty-headed person such as yourself._

Jacob walked over and started to chat with Sam. I guess they had a few things to discuss. I kept my eyes on the vampires in the room. I saw Embry and Quil tense up. Seth looked completely at ease. He was such a little freak.

Edward smiled politely at Bella's dad.

"Is the gift okay?" He glanced at the fishing equipment. What a stupid question. He was asking a fisherman if he _liked_ something that was going to help him get better at his hobby. Besides, he could probably tell from Charlie's thoughts how ecstatic he was about the damn thing.

"Bells sure knows me." He nodded at Bella approvingly. Bella looked around the room nervously. I laughed. I guessed that Bella hadn't picked the gift out. She'd probably forgotten about him, like she _always_ did. Edward glanced at me.

_Chill out, Turdward._ Coming up with clever nicknames for Edward had become sort of a fun hobby of mine. _I'm not going to say anything._ I paused. _Consider it my Christmas gift to you._ Edward rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to Charlie.

"Let me see my Grandbaby." Charlie held his arms out for Bella to give him Nessie.

Nessie grabbed Charlie's arm with her tiny hands and cooed. She was a natural at acting like a normal kid when she was around him. Sometimes she had me fooled. There were times that I forgot she was a demon spawn.

I looked closely and saw that there was a handmade bracelet around Nessie's tiny little wrist. It was definitely from Jacob. Wow, how had he gotten away with giving her that without her mom and dad ripping him to shreds?

"I swear you've doubled in size since I saw you last week." Charlie shook his head. "What are you feeding this kid, anyway?"

_Blood_. I shrugged in thought. I saw Edward's lip twitch in annoyance. I just ignored his frustration and started singing my own take of "Grandma got run over by a reindeer" in thought,

_A reindeer got run over here by Nessie…walking home across the Cullen's laaaand…how was that deer to know that she would eat him, when after all, babies her age can't even staaand._

"She's getting so big." Charlie looked at Bella and Edward.

"She grows every day." Edward smiled at his daughter.

_You like Christmas songs, Edward? Because I've got a lot of Christmas songs memorized._ I grinned_. All I want for Christmas is to kill some vamps. Smack them over the head with a Christmas lamp. Gee, if I could only kill a damn bloodsucker, then I could wish you Merry Christmas. _I laughed as I walked over to where Sam and Jacob were chatting. Embry, Seth, and Quil followed.

"Why didn't Billy come?" Sam questioned.

I had been wondering that myself. I was too chicken to ask my mother. She and Billy went from being friends one day to squabbling infants the next. He hadn't been around much lately.

"He's not feeling well." I knew Jacob was lying. I had just tried to use that excuse an hour ago.

"Seriously?" I glowered at him.

"Something about allergies, and how being around vampires gives him hives…" Jacob admitted.

"But it's Christmas." Seth was surprised that Billy wouldn't want to be with his son on Christmas Day.

"We did the whole 'Christmas' thing last night. Rebecca called and then my dad, Rachel, and I did our little gift exchanges and everything." He suddenly grinned. "My favorite gift is the one that I got Paul."

"You got Paul a gift?" Embry asked, surprised.

"Four punches to the gut, three broken fingers, and two flattened toes." Jacob smirked.

I couldn't help but add, "And partridge in a pear tree." After all, I _was_ in a caroling mood.

"Did you break his nose again?" Quil questioned.

"Nah. My dad told us to knock it off before I got that far." Jacob frowned. "And Rachel threatened to kill me if I messed up his _beautiful_ face…" He rolled his eyes. "When your older sister threatens you, you listen."

"No kidding." Seth glanced at me.

"It's good that you have a fear of me. It's healthy." I laughed.

"Yeah, right," Seth mumbled.

"So, Sam, the new kids are doing okay?" Jacob questioned.

"Yeah, actually they're starting to get geared up for it." Sam nodded. "How's everything going with the Cullens? Bella mastered her gift yet?"

_Psh_. _Gift_. I rolled my eyes. More like "useless ability given to the world's dumbest vampire."

"I don't know what everyone's so worried about," Embry said quietly. I think he was mindfully trying not to say anything too loud so Charlie or my mother wouldn't overhear. "We've done it before. Remember the newborns?"

"You know it's different than that," Quil said. "Though we'll still get to kick some ass."

Seth surprised me with his eagerness.

"Yeah, and _this_ time I'll actually be where the action is instead of watching Edward and Bella make out."

"Nice. Thanks for that image, Seth." I frowned.

I saw Sam drift off in thought for a moment. "It's going to be tough. But I think we're gonna pull it off."

"Hell yeah we are," Jacob agreed.

It was weird to see Jacob and Sam getting along.

"Lunch is ready." Emily walked into the living room and waved us all to come into the kitchen.

Everyone in the room raced towards the kitchen. Well, everyone but Edward and Bella. Why should they rush to eat something that _wasn't_ red and oozing out of the neck of some animal?

The boys inhaled the food that my mother prepared. I don't think they even chewed.

"Did you even taste that?" I asked my brother.

He just grinned at me and ate another piece of ham.

After I finished eating, I glared across the table at Edward. He was looking lovingly at Bella while chatting with Charlie. He glanced at me and I broke into another song.

_Vamps are coming, are you listenin? In the sun, their skin is glistenin. A horrible sight, we're doin some killin tonight. Running in a bloody wonderland…_

I saw Edward flinch, but he didn't say anything. So I continued with more torture.

_Dashing through the snow with a kid strapped to her back...watching Bella hunt makes me want to yak…_

"So, Charlie, how are things going at work?" He tried to create small talk so he could drown me out. I smirked at him. It was no use. I was going to do this _all_ day.

"It's been fairly slow recently. I guess the cold weather is keeping all the criminals indoors." Charlie smiled.

_Deck the halls with blood for Nessie, fa la la la la la la la. Killing deer is awful messy. Fa la la la la la la la la. _I spent the rest of my lunch singing the most obnoxious Christmas songs I could think of in my head to bug the hell out of Edward. I swear I saw his topaz eyes twitching in irritation.

After lunch, it was time to exchange gifts. I sat around uncomfortably as I watched everyone "ohh and ahh" over their gifts. My mom got Seth and I both a small MP3 player for us to put music on to. Great, she'd finally saved up enough money to get us something useful, and I might not be around to use it after next week. I still wasn't convinced that Alice had seen a fight. But the Volturi _were_ coming, so something was bound to happen.

Seth and I had found some time to pose and get an updated portrait of us, so my mother could have a recent photograph without one of us making goofy faces or hitting each other in the head. She looked at it, especially the home-crafted frame that I had Emily help me make. We had also gotten her some new pots and pans for her kitchen. The old ones were getting pretty worn down.

Charlie had bought Edward and Bella three plane tickets to Florida so Bella could go and visit her mother to take Nessie to meet her. I think he had borrowed the idea from something Edward's family had done once for Bella's birthday. I laughed my ass off. Two vampires and their love child going to one of the sunniest states in the US. That was just incredibly hilarious to me.

"Thanks, dad." Bella faked a smile. She looked at Edward like, _Help me_!

Edward immediately rescued his stupid damsel in distress.

"This is very kind of you, Charlie." He paused and glanced at the tickets. "Oh, it says here they have to be used before March 10th. I believe that might interfere with Bella's plan to visit colleges starting at the beginning of next year."

The entire house went silent. I knew Edward was lying through his teeth, but I was impressed that he would come up with something _that_ good.

"You're looking at colleges again, Bella?" Charlie smiled at his daughter.

I saw Bella glare at Edward. Her face said it all. _I said help me, not make things worse._

"It's a possibility." Bella lied perfectly. I guess she'd had a lot of practice lying to her father through the years. "I'm sure we can work something out. Maybe we can call the airline and explain the situation. I'm sure they'll give you a full refund." She babbled nervously. She immediately tried to change the subject. "Hey, I wonder if there's anything Christmasy on." She grabbed the TV remote and started flipping through the channels. "I'm sure Nessie is getting bored of all this 'adult' talk."

As they tried to find something to watch, I took a moment to annoy my new best friend.

_Nessie, the red-faced mutant had a very douchey dad. And if you ever saw him, he would really make you sad…_

I think I heard Edward growl at me, which only made me laugh.

"What do you think, Ness? _Charlie Brown_ or _Rudolph_?" Charlie questioned. He didn't seem overly concerned with the tickets right now.

"There's supposed to be this really awesome movie on the Science-Fiction channel," Seth piped in.

"Oh, does it have singing snowmen and a reindeer whose nose glows?" Charlie asked as he played with Nessie.

"No, but it has an alien Santa who eats people and an evil elf that looks like a gremlin." Seth grinned.

I smiled. Well, _that_ sounded festive. And it sounded like something right up the little demon-child's alley.

Bella settled on the first Christmas show she could find. After a few minutes, Nessie was staring stupidly at the TV like any infant without a brain.

"Aw…" Charlie watched his Granddaughter staring at the snowman with the funny hat, "...I used to watch this with you every year, Bells." He sniffled a little.

I couldn't help but notice the tears in his eyes.

"Are you…crying?"

Charlie cleared his throat and shook his head.

"Of course not. I've just…got something in my eye…both of them, and my nose is…running because of allergies."

Charlie put his arm lovingly around Bella's shoulder. It was at that point that I started to wish we _had_ been watching the movie about the evil Santa.

"I'm with Seth. Let's watch evil elves set fire to the community."

It wasn't long after _Frosty_ ended that Bella announced that they needed to be going. It was a good thing, too. It was starting to get too tense in the house. Charlie was the only one sad to see the vampires go. The rest of us had to keep from doing a happy little jig right there in Charlie's living room.

"Thanks for the lunch, Sue. It was awesome." Jacob waved as they walked out the door.

"You're welcome," my mom said with a smile. "And hey, don't be such a stranger to La Push." I guess she felt compelled to get Billy's son to come back home.

"You're hospitality, as always, is greatly appreciated, Charlie." Edward smiled at Charlie. He glanced to my mother. "And thank you so much for preparing the meal, Sue."

My mom just gave him an odd look. She knew vampires didn't eat human food. If I were her, I would have told him that I was sorry that the food wasn't _rare_ enough for them.

"Later." I waved as they were leaving. Edward glared at me. I had really pushed him over the edge with my songs today. As he was leaving, I couldn't help but sing one more Christmas song _just_ for him.

_Up on the housetop, click, click, click. Edward fell down and broke his dick. Cracked his nuts on a two-by-four, that's why Eddie can't cum no more._ He couldn't get out the front door fast enough.

A few minutes later, they were gone, and the rest of us relaxed. Quil, Sam, and Emily left not long after them. Quil was going with Sam and Emily to see Claire and her mother. He was so excited about the new little tea-set that he bought her. I teased him and called him Princess Quillo-pad. We waved goodbye to them and the house gained a bit more room to actually move around in.

Seth and Charlie were talking about the new fishing thing that Edward had picked out for him. Even if Bella _hadn't_ had that nervous glint in her eyes when Charlie assumed she'd picked it out, I still would have had a hard time believing that anyone other than Edward got this gift for Charlie. It was definitely a gift _to_ a guy _from_ a guy. Girls usually got guys things like neckties and socks. Because we don't know what the hell else to buy them!

"I'm going outside for a few minutes." Embry stood up. "I could use some fresh air. Would anyone else like to come?" I think the question was directed mainly at me. Seth opened his mouth like he was going to respond, but he shut it pretty quickly after I glared at him.

I stood up silently and followed Embry out. He smiled at me and took my hand.

"Having a good holiday?" he asked.

"Now that the leeches are gone." I smiled. "How about you?"

"Can't complain." He made me laugh. He _never_ complained. "So your mom got you an MP3 player. That's cool." He smiled. "Mine got me socks and underwear." He frowned a little. "She gets the same thing for me every year. I guess she's afraid that I'm going to run around without my pants one day and she wants to make sure I'll at least be wearing _something_." I thought about how hilarious that was. Being werewolves, we were _constantly_ running around without clothes.

"Hey, it's better than getting a bra from your dad when you're thirteen." I chuckled.

"That would have been weird. I don't wear bras. They're too constricting." He joked. "Plus, I don't really _have_ a dad."

"You've got a dad, Embry." I frowned at him. He sighed. I didn't like to see him take this so hard. It never used to bother me before we started dating. In fact, I had been quite ugly to him about it when we were a part of Sam's pack. He forgave me, of course, but it still made me feel crappy.

"Yeah, well, unless I feel like paying a visit to Jerry Springer, I'll probably never know who it is," he sighed. I had always had my suspicions about who Embry's father was. I know he probably knew somewhere in his heart who had knocked his mom up, but he never said anything about it.

"That would be quite a show." I grinned. "I could beat up Bella and call her a trailer-trash, home-wrecking whore." Of course, I didn't have to go on Jerry Springer for that.

Embry laughed. "You're so good at that."

"At what?"

"Making horribly inappropriate comments to make me laugh." He reached into his pocket and fished around for something. "I got you a little something for the holidays…" He pulled out a small box that was wrapped in snowmen wrapping paper.

"Oh, that reminds me, I left your present at my place." I glanced at the small delicately wrapped box. "I only had enough to get you a few CD's. I've overheard you singing Bette Midler a few times. I haven't had a chance to tease you properly about that, by the way." I chuckled as Embry just shrugged. "So I got her greatest hits. And I also got you Sammy Davis Jr and Ella Fitzgerald." Embry's taste in music had always surprised me. He listened to a lot of soft, jazzy things. Maybe that was the reason that he had such a cool, happy attitude.

"That's awesome." Embry nodded. He glanced down at the box in my hands. I could tell he wanted me to open it.

I ripped the paper off with one motion and flipped the lid of the box. I took a moment to peer at the small woven piece of jewelry sitting inside. As I looked closer at it, I realized that it looked exactly like the bracelet that Nessie had been wearing. But this was so much smaller. It was probably the size of a penny.

"It's the world's tiniest bracelet." I picked it up and admired it. "It's so cute!"

"Actually, it's a ring. I went with something a little bit less traditional than the Quileute bracelet. Because I figured, hey…we're pretty nontraditional."

"You're giving me jewelry?" I laughed. "What about my temper? You know it will be shredded the first time I lose my cool when I'm wearing it."

"So don't wear it until you stop phasing." Embry put his arm around me. "I know you don't want to phase forever. So, when you do finally get the wolf within under control, you'll have it. And you can wear it then…if you want."

I observed the ring and then looked at him and smiled. "This is sweet, Embry. Thanks."

"See if it fits," Embry suggested.

I mindlessly slid the ring around my ring finger. It was actually a perfect fit. Wow, had he measured my finger when I was sleeping or something? I was so preoccupied with my impression that I didn't realize that I had put it on my _left_ ring finger. I had to wonder, had I done that subconsciously? I slid the ring off and put it back in its box, where it would be nice and safe.

"Hey, you're not asking me to marry you because we're going into a battle in a few days, are you?" I had to know. I wasn't a big fan of marriage. And I was even _less_ of a fan of "we're going to die, so let's elope."

Embry let out a soft smile.

"I know that's not your style." He paused. "Trust me…when I _do_ propose, it won't be that crappy romance stuff that you see in the movies. I know you hate that."

When he _did_ propose? Had he been thinking about this? Had I missed it when we were wolves? That was a pretty big assumption on Embry's part. Though, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Considering he had imprinted on me, of course he'd want to spend the rest of his life with me. I just wish I could figure out why I hadn't imprinted on him. If we _were_ meant to be together, then how come I hadn't staked a wolfy claim on him? Sometimes that concerned me. I didn't want to be his Sam. I didn't want to be in love with him one day, only to stupidly imprint on someone else and break Embry's heart. I knew how much that hurt. I would not put him through that.

Embry noticed that I was lost in thought.

"Don't freak out or anything, Leah," he said calmly. "It doesn't have to mean anything that you don't want it to mean."

I nodded and gave a little bit of thought to my answer.

"Just promise me one thing…" I looked into his eyes. "I don't want to do the whole "ceremony" crap. _If_ we do ever get married," And that was a BIG _if_, "let's just get hitched in Vegas."

Embry smiled at me. "I'll even hire an Elvis impersonator to perform the ceremony."

I laughed. I felt good that Embry was able to put up with my attitude most of the time. Although, it was a bit odd that I was sitting here on Christmas Day talking about marriage to my seventeen-year-old boyfriend.

But our conversation was going to have to wait until another time. My mom interrupted us to tell us that it was time to go.

The ride home was going smoothly until mom asked us what we had talked to Sam about. Embry, Seth, and I all looked at one another uncomfortably. Neither of the boys responded, so I just made up some bullshit about Sam and Emily's wedding. It wasn't my favorite topic, but it was better than saying, "_Oh…we just chatted about the hundreds of vampires coming to kill our entire pack. No biggie…_"

And just like that, my mind was right back to the looming fight. The fight, that according to Jacob, was supposed to be happening in the next couple of days. I leaned into Embry and let out a sigh. And although he didn't say anything out loud, he knew what was on my mind. It was on his mind, too.


	55. I hate heartfelt speeches

_Some people laugh_

_Some people cry_

_Some people live_

_Some people die_

_Some people run_

_Right into the fire_

_And some people hide_

_Their every desire_

_"The heart never lies"_

_-Mcfly_

* * *

**Chapter 55:**

**I hate heartfelt speeches**

I was surprised at how quickly the days after Christmas passed. I got a call from Jacob the day before New Years Eve.

"It's time," was all he said. What he was really saying: _round up the troops_.

"I'm heading out to the clearing with Bella and Nessie. Edward and Carlisle are already there. We're camping out tonight," he explained. "We're not exactly sure when they'll be here, but according to Bella, Alice mentioned that there was a lot of snow on the ground when they came in her vision."

"Great. We'll die in a winter wonderland." I joked. I had to wonder how accurate Alice's vision was this time. How did we know that she wasn't seeing ten years from now when a blizzard struck the town? That would be just our luck, sitting and waiting ten freaking miserable years for an army of vampires to say,_ "Yep, I'm sure they're doing something wrong. Kill them."_

"I've already spoken with Sam. His pack is gearing up to guard the town's border tonight. The younger kids are going to stay behind unless he feels absolutely necessary to do otherwise. I think he wants to see what the Volturi's motives are."

Well, that was easy. They wanted to kill the Cullens. And I'm sure when they had muttered "mission accomplished," they would float right back across the ocean to their stupid little country.

"What's the plan?" I asked.

"I'd like for you guys to be out here tonight," Jacob said.

"I'll pass it on."

There was a pause on the other end of the line.

"Jake, you still there?"

"Yeah."

"What's with the sudden silent treatment? What could I have possibly said in the past ten seconds to piss you off?" I questioned.

He laughed. "For once, it's not anything you did," he said. "I just feel bad for our parents. I especially feel crappy about the way I left things with my dad. When I saw him yesterday, we got into it." He took a moment to think about something. "How much does your mom know?"

"I think she knows more than she lets on." My mom was good at knowing things and playing dumb about them. Though I wouldn't go as far as saying that she knew what we were up against. If she did, she probably would be freaking out a lot more.

"Yeah, I think my dad does, too. He never said anything to me about it, but he was desperate to keep me home. He even went as far as trying to ground me." He let out a laugh.

"You're living with a bunch of vampires. What possible punishment could he come up with that's worse than _that_?"

Jacob howled out a laugh. "That's exactly what I said."

"Scary. Get out of my head."

"No. I'm staying there. And while I'm there, I'm going to be doing naked cartwheels."

"Bastard." Now I couldn't get the image out of my head.

The conversation took a serious turn again.

"You thought about what you're going to say to your mom?"

"I dunno. 'Goodnight' seems to work pretty well."

"You aren't going to talk to her about any of this?" he asked.

"I was thinking that it would probably be a bad idea to go, 'hey, mom, Seth and I are going to fight an army of vampires. Don't set the table for us tonight cuz our body parts will probably be scattered all over Washington.'"

"You're not even going to say goodbye?"

"I don't have it in me," I admitted. "I'm not going to watch the agony wash across her face."

"I said goodbye to my dad."

"Great. Thanks," I grumbled. Now Billy would tell my mother.

"Well, I didn't flat out _tell_ him about the Volturi. But I told him that something was going on that he would one day understand. And when that day came, I hoped he could forgive me for everything I've put him through. Then I thanked him for being my dad and told him that I loved him."

"He probably thinks that you're on drugs." If Jacob had really told him all that, Billy probably had no clue what to think of his outpour of honesty and love.

"You're missing my point." Jacob sounded frustrated.

"Which is what?"

"You should at least say _something_ to your mom. Don't leave her without saying something meaningful."

"I'm sorry, have we met? Since when do I say _meaningful_ things?"

"Think about it. That's all I'm saying," he sighed. I heard something in the background. It sounded like Nessie. "I've gotta go. Just head out this way later on this evening."

"Can't wait," I mumbled sarcastically.

We said goodbye and I immediately called Quil and Embry to let them know what the plan was. Embry kept a stoic tone on the phone. I couldn't tell what he was feeling. Quil was a little bit more readable. I heard him whimper something about Claire, and then he started gushing about his feelings. I got tired of hearing him blubbering like a baby, so I asked him if he wanted me to tie a string around a napkin so he could stick it in his bleeding vagina. He hung up on me.

I explained to Seth that we were going to be leaving tonight. He just mumbled something incoherently as he disappeared into his room.

The day went by very quickly. When the sun set, reality set in. I knew in a few hours, Seth and I would be preparing to fight the battle of the century. I had to hide that worry when I heard my mom's car pull into the driveway. She was home from Charlie's. I sighed. I was really hoping that she would have stayed with him tonight. It would be a lot easier to sneak out knowing she wasn't under the same roof. But I guess the fates were determined to make this as hard as possible.

I started to think about what Jake was saying on the phone. He had a point. I really didn't want my mother's last memory of her kids to be of us hiding in our rooms grumbling about how much our lives sucked.

I understood the gravity of the situation. If this meeting with the Volturi _did_ come to a fight, we wouldn't fare well. I knew that. Seth knew that. We all knew it. In case Alice _was_ right and this did turn into a battle, I knew couldn't leave my mother without a proper goodbye. But how could I say goodbye to her without breaking her heart?

My mother came through the front door a few seconds later. I smiled at her.

"And where have _you_ been, young lady?" The first thing I could think of was to tease her. Maybe I could put her in a good mood. I wanted to leave her in good spirits.

I saw her blush. It was so freaking cute that she still got all flustered when she was thinking of Charlie.

"Charlie took me out to dinner." she said with a grin. Well, that was a nice change of pace from my mother cooking for him all the time. "He said he would have cooked for me, but he didn't want to subject me to that kind of torture." She sat down on the sofa. She looked exhausted, yet exhilarated.

_That's_ what we should to do run the Volturi away. Force them to eat Charlie's cooking. They'd piss themselves with fear when they saw how he prepared a meal.

I plopped down next to my mom silently and put my arms around her. I saw immediately that that was probably a mistake. She wasn't used to me being so affectionate.

"Oh, God, who died?" She looked at me suspiciously.

I laughed. Part of the laughter was nerves. I almost blurted out _"Seth and I tomorrow morning,"_ but I somehow managed to sound calm,

"No one. I just like to see you happy. It makes _me_ happy." That was easy to say, because it was true.

She still didn't look convinced, but she hugged me back anyway. We sat in silence for a little while. I still wasn't sure what to say to her. I was starting to think that maybe I should just leave her a letter. But with my luck, she'd find it before the battle happened and would do something motherly like…run into the clearing screaming for Seth and I to get our asses home before she beat us senseless.

I went on with the "being normal" charade.

"I like that Charlie makes you happy. You deserve it after everything you've been through." I shrugged. "You've been very understanding about everything Seth and I are doing. You stood up for us when the rest of the tribe was ready to shun us for joining Jake's pack, you don't pressure us to do anything we don't want to do, and you've put up with _my_ attitude for twenty years." I smiled at her.

"Twenty-one in a few weeks." My mom reminded me that my birthday was painfully close.

"Tell me you don't have a party planned," I grimaced.

She didn't say anything as she grinned at me.

I grumbled, but then I remembered that I might not be around, so what was the harm in letting her get her way? I chuckled. "I want a moon bounce and a clown." She laughed. "And a piñata."

"I'll see what I can do." She took a moment to look at me seriously.

"What?" Her gaze was making me uncomfortable.

"I just can't believe it. My baby girl is going to be twenty-one." She paused. "The legal drinking age…"

I had to choke back laughter. "Oh, yeah. I'll be able to try alcohol. I can't _wait_ to see what it tastes like…"

She rolled her eyes at me, but then smiled again. "You know, you joke about how awful you were as a teenager, but actually you were pretty normal. You managed to stay out of trouble most of the time."

I giggled to myself. There was _a lot_ my mother didn't know about some of the havoc I had wrecked in our town.

"I had good parents." I glanced at her. I wondered if I had ever told her how much she and dad really meant to me. "Did I ever thank you?"

"For what?"

"For never putting me up for adoption. I'm sure I wasn't the easiest person in the world to live with. But you and dad never gave up on me. Even when I was at my worst, you were always there for me." Jake was right. I needed to leave my mother with something heartfelt, just in case…

My mom continued to look at me like I had completely lost my mind. I no longer cared about trying to pretend that nothing was wrong and everything was normal. Mom already knew that something was up, so why should I treat her like crap the last few hours that I had with her?

"That's what parents do, Leah," she explained. She leaned in and kissed my forehead. "I'm just glad that you think I've done well."

She had done _better _than well, and she deserved to know it.

"You have been so supportive, and much more patient than I deserved sometimes. You comforted me when my heart was broken, you kicked me in the ass when I needed a shove forward, and you're constantly putting everyone else's needs before your own. My entire life, you have _never_ let me down. Mom, you've been incredible," I admitted. She was the only one I could honestly say that to, because she was the only person in my life who had never doubted me for a second.

My mom's eyes filled up with tears. She was speechless. I _never_ did these after-school-special type speeches. I wasn't a very emotional person. I think I'd caught her by surprise. She leaned forward and embraced me tightly.

"Thank you, Leah." She finally managed to choke out. As she pulled away from me, she looked into my eyes. I did the best I could to try and hide my pain. It was something I was normally good at, but this was different. If something happened, she was going to be the one in pain. I didn't like to think of my mother in pain. It made me sad.

I bit my tongue to choke back tears.

"It's been a long day." I yawned as I stood up. "I think I'm going to head to bed a little early." I smiled at her again. "I love you, mom."

"I love you, too, honey." And with that, I turned around to keep her from seeing my building discomfort. I had only taken one step when she grabbed my hand. The motion forced me to turn around and look at her.

"I don't know what's going on, or what you and your brother are up to, but…just promise me that you'll come home," she begged.

So, I wasn't as good at this "everything's normal" crap as I'd thought. She obviously didn't know about the Volturi, but I'm sure she suspected there was a battle looming. And me getting all mushy and sharing my feelings with her confirmed her fears that it was really _bad_.

"I'll do my best."

"That's not good enough." She glared at me. She didn't think I knew that? I wanted to tell her that everything was going to be okay, but what was I supposed to do? _Lie_?

I frowned. I was already breaking all the rules in life. I was a werewolf protecting a group of vampires. Lying to my mother was _nothing_ compared to that.

"Okay, mom."

"Promise me."

"I promise." That was probably the single most horrible lie I had ever told in my entire life. I was a terrible person for promising something that I knew I couldn't keep. What the hell kind of daughter was I?

My mom let go of my hand and smiled in satisfaction. I was glad that she bought it. I don't know if I could have continued to lie.

I couldn't get my bedroom door shut fast enough. Instead of completely losing my cool and crying like a whiny little baby, I focused my energy on more important matters. I went over attack scenarios in my head. I tried to picture how many vampires were coming. I imagined how the fight might take place.

I went through my brain, picking out the Cullens scents so if the battle got hectic, I could avoid taking out someone who was fighting on the same side as me. I was going to do my best not to attack any of the Denali clan either. Kate would be very useful in a physical battle. Like Jane, she could shock others.

Benjamin would have to be protected, too. Maybe he could use his power to manipulate some kind of an earthquake, causing the ground beneath the Volturi to split in half so they could fall back into the depths of hell from which they came.

Zafrina didn't need protection, as all she had to do was create a giant imaginary monster for the Volturi to run away from. I could just picture her creating some huge evil bunny to chase the Volturi away. That would be hilarious to see. _Run for your life! It's Bugs Bunny!_

A few hours had gone by. I heard a soft knock at my door. Seth peeked in.

"Mom's asleep."

I hopped off of my bed and grabbed an extra set of clothes...just in case I needed to phase to talk to someone for some reason. As Seth and I made our way down the hallway, I noticed that he took a moment to pause at mom's door. He sighed.

"She knows that we love her, right?" he questioned. He had always been a loving kid. He and mom had a really strong bond.

"She knows," I assured him.

"I told her before she went to bed," he said. "We talked about dad tonight. She told me that I reminded her a lot of him."

"Yeah, a spitting image." I was getting impatient. I didn't want mom to wake up any time soon. I wanted her to get a full night's rest before she started to worry about us. I grabbed Seth's arm. "We need to get going."

He followed me to the front door. My house was very easy to sneak in and out of. I had done this a million times before. I glanced at Seth as I put my hand on the door knob. This felt so wrong. I always imaged that I would one day be teaching my brother to sneak out. I didn't figure that we would be sneaking out to meet our untimely demise.

Seth stopped me from opening the door.

"Hold on a sec." He walked to the window a few feet away from the door. He opened the window and leaned out. I heard him move a few things around. He came back inside, closed the window, and then nodded at me. "Okay. Go ahead."

I looked at him in confusion. "What the hell was that about?"

Seth shrugged. "I took the light bulb out of the motion sensor. Mom replaced it a few days ago." We had a motion sensor light on our front porch that was bright enough to illuminate the entire neighborhood, but the bulb had been burned out for years. Apparently, mom decided to replace it because of our odd behavior lately. I continued to stare at my brother in surprise. He just smiled innocently. "I've done this more than you think, Leah."

Seth never ceased to amaze me. I was beginning to wonder what else the kid was keeping from me.

He and I quietly made our way out of our neighborhood before we phased. Embry, Quil, and Jacob were already wolves.

Seth immediately jumped in to explain our tardiness.

_We had to wait until mom was asleep before making a break for it._

"Making a break for it?" What were we, escaped prisoners?

_Have we missed anything?_ I questioned.

_Nessie did this really cute thing where…_

_Sorry I asked._ I interrupted Jacob from telling me whatever his _amazing_ Nessie had done this time.

Seth and I met the others in the forest. We didn't say much as we all found a place to comfortably rest. Jacob phased to be with Nessie. We spread ourselves out among the trees. I listened closely as Quil's thoughts faded into a conscious sleep. Seth drifted off, too. I was too amped up to sleep, so I just laid on the ground with my eyes darting across the forest floor. Embry came to join me at one point, but he fell asleep, too.

Most of Sam's pack was there. The only ones missing were eleven-year-old Justin and his buddy Danny. Sam explained to Jacob that the boys were guarding the border tonight, but they would join us in the morning. So much for keeping the little ones out of the battle. I had to admit though, Sam was right for involving the entire pack. We needed all the help we could get.

I stayed awake through the night. I felt like I had ingested a hundred cups of coffee…laced with crack. When the early morning haze gleamed through the trees, I stood up. I felt Jacob phase. It wasn't going to be long now. We paced around in the woods. Jacob only stopped once to watch Bella dress Nessie when she woke up. I watched through his eyes as Nessie and Bella exchanged "I love yous." Any other time, that would have made me sick to my stomach to watch. But considering I had just done the same thing with my mother, I couldn't give her hell for it.

Jacob raced off, leaving Bella and Nessie to share their moment. We aligned ourselves behind the vampires, hidden in the forest so the Volturi wouldn't see us right away. I had Embry on my left and Paul on my right.

I glanced into the clearing. Carlisle was at the head of the line with Emmett and Edward on either side of him. It was only fitting that the doctor be the first one the Volturi encountered. If they were going to be taken out, he would volunteer to go first. He was just selfless like that. Rosalie and the Denali clan were on the front line, too.

Bella took her place a few feet behind the front line, along with Benjamin and Zafrina. I wondered how much good her shield was going to do. Had she gotten any better at it in the past few days?

Jacob let out a whine when he saw Nessie cuddling closely against Bella's back.

_I can't stand this,_ Jacob sighed. He didn't like being this far away from Nessie, especially with her so close to danger.

It was important that the Volturi not see the wolves just yet. We were the second defense if the vampires and their witnesses failed to make them stop. But it wasn't right for Jacob to feel such despair when the person he loved the most was within a few feet of him.

_Just go,_ I said. Even if they did see Jacob, _one_ werewolf was hardly going to be enough to cause the army to falter.

Jacob loped out of the woods and over to Bella's side. She didn't say anything to him, she just nodded. Nessie sighed and grabbed Jacob's fur in her hands.

Everyone froze when Edward let out a low hiss. I didn't have to be in his head to know what it meant:

Here they come.


	56. I'm not afraid of a few hundred vampires

_Here I am at the edge of the road_

_One hand on the end of the rope_

_One crack and it breaks alone_

_Wondering who's gonna take me home_

_On my knees when you call my bluff_

_Begging please from the edge of the ruff_

_And I know I've had enough, and I know it, and I know it_

_"Wait"_

_-Mat Kearney_

* * *

**Chapter 56:**

**I'm not afraid of a few hundred vampires**

I could smell their horrible stench just moments after Edward warned us. It was a hundred times stronger than any vampire I had ever smelled before. A few seconds later, they came barreling across the plain in perfect synchronization. They were all wearing similar darkened cloaks.

I had to scoff, _Wow, the dress code is really enforced at their little private school. What blind Frenchman came up with those uniforms?_

I could hear everyone around me silently counting the slowing guard. They were in no hurry to get across the clearing. They saw what was waiting for them on the other side. Even without the wolves in the clearing, the guard was still surprised to see so many vampires waiting for them.

There were quite a few members of the guard. All together, there were thirty-two of them. There were two weird black-cloaked women hiding in the back that were obviously not going to be involved in the fight. I guessed that these were the "wives" that the vampires kept talking about.

"The redcoats are coming, the redcoats are coming," Garrett mumbled. I chucked out a laugh. Who knew vampires had a sense of humor?

I stiffened up when I realized that there were more vampires behind the guard. I immediately recognized one bright blonde-haired leech.

_Hey, is that who I think it is?_ Seth questioned.

_Irina. I can't believe she has the nerve to show her damn face here,_ I growled. This was all her fault. If she had kept her fucking mouth shut about Nessie and given Bella _two_ seconds to explain the situation, none of this would be happening. I decided that if this _did_ come to a fight, the blonde bitch was _mine_.

I did my best to keep my smug thoughts to myself when Irina saw her family standing with the Cullens. If I was human, I would be taunting the hell out of her right now. A horrified expression filled her face when she realized that her sisters were on the front line.

"Alistair was right," Edward murmured to Carlisle. I had to take a moment to remember which one of the leeches Alistair was.

_He's the one who took off a few days ago,_ Jacob explained.

I vaguely recalled something Jacob had told me about a vampire that had decided not to stand with the Cullens. Some _friend_ Alistair was. He decided that he "cared too much" about Carlisle to watch him being destroyed. That was bullshit. If I had a friend in danger I would never abandon them, no matter how hopeless the outcome might be. Friendship meant sticking with the people you cared about even through the darkest of times.

Edward explained that Alistair believed that the Volturi had come to destroy us no matter what. Well, _duh_. I could have told him _that_.

"They have many layers of strategy already in place. If Irina's accusation had somehow proven to be false, they were committed to finding another reason to take offense. They can see Renesmee now, so they are perfectly sanguine about their course. We could still attempt to defend against their other contrived charges, but first they have to stop to hear the truth about Renesmee, which they have no intention of doing," Edward muttered in one breath.

It would have been so much easier if Edward had just said, "They want to kill us. Prepare to fight" instead of using all of those gigantic words he probably stole from his word-a-day calendar.

_Alright, you heard Leah. We're going to be fighting anyway, so come on out here,_ Jacob ordered us to come out of hiding.

As soon as we stepped into the clearing, our pack first, followed by various members of Sam's pack, the Volturi stopped in their tracks about a hundred yards out.

_Yeah, that's right, bitches. Be afraid. Be very afraid,_ Quil rumbled quietly.

I laughed. I hoped that there was a mind-reader on the Volturi who could hear Quil's snide remark.

We surrounded the vampires' flanks.

_Bring it on._ I glanced at the waiting guard.

Bella let out a growl. It was actually kind of frightening coming from her wussified lips. Though she didn't say anything, I could hear that she was warning them, _"I am so pissed off right now."_ Zafrina and Senna growled with Bella.

I glanced at the Volturi. I could see two ugly-ass ancient vampires touching hands in the center of the group.

I quipped, _Aw, the two little gay vampires are holding hands. Isn't that adorable_?

I knew from Edward's stories that that must be Aro and Caius. There was a third vampire touching Aro's palm. Marcus. He looked bored and uninterested. A lot like I did most of the time I was in school. The three of them did stand out from the rest of the guard. The trio was an interesting sight. Instead of "The Good, the bad, and the ugly," it was "The ugly, the uglier, and the horribly ugliest."

I glanced at the rest of the guard, trying to pick out members from the Cullens' descriptions of them. My eyes came to rest upon the two smallest vampires in the group. It had to be Jane and Alec. I knew they weren't really related, but the Addam's Family resemblance was remarkable. As far as twins go, these were possibly the creepiest duo I had ever seen. But they weren't _terrifying_. Alec was a tiny little thing. He looked like a demonic little leprechaun. I wanted to strut over to him and ask him where my pot of gold was. He was so short that I could probably break him in half with my pinky finger. Jane wasn't much bigger. She looked like a little albino midget. Why the hell was everyone so scared of her? The only thing that freaked me out was how small her hands were. I shivered. Her fat fingers were tiny. Weird little midget digits.

_I wouldn't underestimate her. Edward says she's small, crooked, and quick,_ Jacob warned me.

_Hmm, sounds like my ex-boyfriend._ I couldn't help but burn Sam.

_Nice one._ Embry chuckled.

The entire crowd became completely silent. I tensed up. Were they preparing to strike?

Carlisle glanced at Edward nervously. "Edward?" He wanted to know what they were thinking.

Edward explained that the Volturi had never been outnumbered before. I had to wonder if the Volturi knew how to count…because from where I was standing, they had about three hundred more people than we did.

"They don't count their witnesses," Edward said quietly. "Aro just enjoys an audience."

_Gee, maybe he should have majored in theater instead of vampirism._

"Should I speak?" Carlisle questioned.

If he didn't speak now, he wasn't going to get a chance to.

Edward basically said the same thing I was thinking and Carlisle stepped forward.

A strange thing happened when I saw the gentle vampire edge closer to the evil albino leeches across the clearing. I was _concerned_ about him. I didn't want him to get hurt. I let out a low growl of uneasiness.

Carlisle did a hell of a job not letting his fear show through as he greeted the Volturi.

"Aro, my old friend." Had I heard right? _Friend_? Did Carlisle actually consider him a friend? "It's been centuries."

Yeah, and the centuries had not been very kind to Aro. He looked like hell. We watched in anticipation as the leader of the fascist dictators considered what Carlisle meant when he spoke. Aro carefully moved forward. A female vampire who, for some reason, was attached to his back with her fingers, moved forward with him. I remembered Edward explaining that the Volturi had a shield of their own. That must be Renata. Bitch didn't look so tough.

The guard let out a growl of disapproval as Aro waved his hand in a friendly manner. If I had fingers, I would have shown him how _I_ said hello...with my middle finger.

Aro grumbled something at Carlisle, asking why he'd assembled a group of renegade vampires to kill him. I snorted. _They_ started it by coming here with intentions to kill _us_. I sounded like a three-year-old,_ "He hit me first!"_ But it was true.

Carlisle extended his hand, offering it to Aro.

"Touch my hand and you'll find that was never my intent."

It made me nervous that Carlisle was offering to trust Aro. I sure as hell didn't trust him.

_Ha, ha. You care about the vampires,_ Seth teased me.

_Shut the hell up and pay attention,_ I ordered.

"I have not committed the crime you are here to punish me for." Carlisle continued to hold his hand up.

"Then step aside and let us punish those responsible." Aro explained that he wanted to preserve Carlisle's life.

Carlisle tried to get Aro to touch his hand, but as soon as Aro moved forward, Caius intereved. He accused Carlisle of committing crimes against their kind. Ironic. It was funny to me that such a feral breed of monsters actually _had_ laws. Aro went on a tirade about the immortal children and _blah, blah, blah_. Carlisle explained that Renesmee was not what they thought she was.

"If she is not one of the forbidden, then why have you massed a battalion to protect her?"

_Some of us are here just to tear you a new asshole._ Embry shrugged.

_You know, we're screwed if they __do__ have a mind-reader among them._ I had to wonder if with the collection of so many "talented" vampires, if they had someone who could hear our thoughts like Edward. If they did, all these little comments were going to get us slaughtered. I shrugged. We were going to die anyway. We might as well go out making fun of them.

Carlisle explained that we were all just here to witness. Well, _I_ was certainly here to do more than just witness. I wanted to rip some vampire scum apart. Carlisle went on to explain about Nessie. Caius looked _pissed_. There was no other way to describe the look on his face except,_ "What the fuck?"_

Caius ordered Irina over to where they were standing. She looked sheepish, like a kid being caught doing something they weren't supposed to be doing.

My mouth flew open in shock when Caius bitched-slapped Irina across the face. While Kate and Tanya hissed, I couldn't help but laugh. The big-mouthed whore deserved the hand-print across her fat, little face.

Caius started growling at Irina while pointing furiously at Nessie.

_He better stop pointing that damn finger before I break it off,_ Jacob growled.

_Easy, Jake._ Embry tried to calm his fury.

_Yeah, man, stay focused. Don't let those assholes intimidate you,_ Quil agreed.

"Is this the child you saw?" Caius snapped at Irina.

Irina looked around stupidly. Her tiny little vampire brain obviously couldn't comprehend that Nessie had grown so much. She desperately looked for another kid…because the clearing was _obviously_ a children's day care center.

"I'm not sure." She sounded even more confused than she looked. "She's not the same, but I think it's the same child. She's changed. She's much bigger than the one I saw, but…"

Caius didn't let her finish as he snarled angrily at her. Apparently Irina's misconception had ruined his plans. Poor, poor disappointed vampire. There was going to be no easy fight for him today.

Aro, seemingly more rational than his brother, placed a hand on Caius to calm him.

"Be composed, brother." He explained that even though there was a misunderstanding, things could be worked out. He asked Irina to _show_ him what she meant. She extended her hand and he read her thoughts. Five seconds later, Aro told Caius that Irina was telling the truth.

I saw Carlisle relax. We had caused them to pause. This is exactly what we needed to happen. Now, it was going to be about how well we could defend ourselves against accusations that the Volturi would surely come up with.

I wasn't surprised when Aro wanted to hear the story directly from Edward. That was actually a very smart move on the Volturi's part. Edward would not be able to censor his thoughts from Aro. Aro would know _everything._ I cringed at that. He would know all of the wolves thoughts as well. I suddenly smiled as I made sure that I _thought_ very loudly how much I despised these freaking Nazi vampires so that Edward would overhear me.

_Make sure he gets the message, Edwaaaad. _I knew that now was probably not the best time to bicker with the leech, but I didn't care.

Edward moved forward to meet Aro.

"Be careful." Esme's voice was barely audible. She obviously did not like the idea of sending Edward over to be slaughtered alone. She squeaked out a motherly cry. I wondered if my mom was going to react the same way when she found Seth and I missing this morning. She would know that this time was different. Even when we were running as wolves, we usually checked in with her.

I kept my eyes on the little short freaks. I wanted to smack the smug grin right off of Jane's face. She really annoyed me for some reason. She was probably just pissed because she never grew. Hell, Nessie was probably taller than she was. Short people have issues.

I heard Bella laughing quietly to herself. I glanced at her through Jacob's eyes.

_Bells, what's your issue_? he questioned.

_She's finally lost it._ Seth was sure.

_Can't lose what you never had to begin with,_ I chuckled. I had to wonder what Bella found so humorous. She was standing across from a bunch of vampires that wanted to kill her and her daughter, and her husband was in mortal danger as he walked towards them. She must be cracking up.

I glanced back to Edward, who looked pretty damn cocky as he stood in front of Aro. He picked a hell of a time to grow some balls.

As Aro extended his hand to touch Edward's, I noticed the Volturi tense up. I guess they were afraid of us. Good, they had a right to be. I laughed my ass off when Jane showed her teeth. She didn't look threatening at all. She looked like a tiny Chihuahua trying to act like a 130 lb Rottweiler,

_"Grr, I'm going to kill you."_

_"Not if I kick you like a football first."_ I envisioned how wonderful it would be to punt the short little vampire across the field and scream out "touchdown!"

I watched as Edward willingly shared his memories with Aro. The old vampire looked like he was about to orgasm out of his skin as he took on all this new information. It was a little creepy to watch. A few minutes later, Aro's eyes opened back up and he let out a sigh. Edward did as well.

I couldn't help myself. _Was it good for you, too_? I chuckled. Both vampires had probably come dangerous close to freaking jizzing in their pants.

"You have given me much to ponder, young friend." Aro obviously was not expecting the amount of information that Edward had shared. Aro glanced at Nessie and I saw Edward tense up. "May I meet her?" Of course the freak vampire would want to meet the half freak vampire.

Caius threw a hissy fit, demanding to know what was going on. There was something in his tone that reminded me of a child who didn't get his way. Aro quickly shut the big baby up and asked Edward again if he could meet Nessie.

_Don't do it, Edward,_ Jacob begged. He didn't want Nessie to get close to them. He was afraid for her life.

Edward seemed reluctant as he responded, "Alright."

Jake was about to freak out, but I reminded him about Edward's gift.

_He knows what they're thinking, Jake. He wouldn't put her in a dangerous situation. You know that._

Aro suggested that they meet in the middle. As he stepped forward with Edward, the guard was going to follow, but Aro waved them off.

"Perhaps you should bring a few members of your guard with us," Edward suggested.

_What a moron._ I couldn't help but wonder _why_ Edward would want to bring _more_ of these idiots close to his daughter.

Aro called his buddies Felix and Demetri. I think I'd heard Bella say once that Demetri was a tracker. So, he was like…the Bloodhound of the demonic world. I laughed. I could see Demetri running around their little castle on all fours, barking wildly,

_"Woof, woof!"_

_"What's the matter, boy? Caius is being a douchebag?"_

_ *Demetri whines and nods his head.*_

I watched as the Bloodhound, his taller creepier brother, and the Albino leader walked to the center of the snow covered field.

Edward encouraged Bella to bring someone with her. She looked around, trying to decide who to bring. Her eyes did stop on me for a spilt second, but I think we both agreed that might not be a good idea. I didn't have the best temper in the world. Of course Jacob was her first pick. He would have been pissed if she hadn't chosen him. I could see the guard's resistance as she announced that Jacob was one of her choices.

_Yeah, suck it, you Nazi bitches._ Quil smirked when Bella chose Jake.

I wasn't surprised by her choice of Emmett either. Emmett was stoked. While both Bella, carrying Nessie, and Jacob walked gracefully towards the center, Emmett bounded out to meet the Volturi with energy. He was like a big wind up toy that you could never get to shut off.

_They're really eyeing you, Jake._ Embry noticed as he glanced at the guard. We could see that they didn't approve of us being here. Well, they could just go to hell and die.

"Interesting company you keep." Demetri glanced at Jacob and then Edward.

_Better than the morons that you hang out with. They look like they're about to drop dead,_ Jacob growled.

That would actually please me quite a bit. I would love to see Aro and his stupid family dropping like flies.

I watched as the enemies greeted Bella. To my surprise, they gushed over how great she looked. Okay, were they here to fight her or pick her up with cheesy one-liners?

I heard them yapping about some gift that Aro had sent Bella. How thoughtful of him. _"Hmm, I'm going to kill you, but here's a string of diamonds for the time being."_ This group of vampires was so strange.

I heard Jane hiss. I laughed again. If I really wanted to piss her off, I could lope over to pat her head. _"Who's a good vampire? You are! Yes, you are! Would you like a blood-drenched cookie?"_

Jacob tensed up when Aro asked to meet Nessie.

_Edward, if he does anything suspicious, I'm going for his throat,_ Jacob warned him.

"Hello, Renesmee." Aro smiled.

I saw Nessie cradle against her mother uncomfortably for a moment, but then she took a breath and responded, "Hello, Aro." She really was a brave little thing.

Aro looked interested, while Caius looked terrified.

"What is it?" Caius hissed.

_It's a talking duck,_ I said sarcastically. _What the hell does it look like? It's a baby, you moron!_

Aro explained Nessie's ancestry. Caius still didn't seem certain about her. Aro muttered something caustically about how they could _hear_ her heartbeat. "Is she faking that as well, brother?" Yes, because it was _so_ easy to fake a pulse.

I watched as Nessie bravely touched Aro's face to explain the situation further. The little halfling had guts. I wondered where she got them from. Certainly not from her wimpy parents.

After a moment, she pulled away and looked at Aro pleadingly.

"Please?" she asked.

What had she asked him for?

"Of course I have no desire to harm your loved ones, precious Renesmee," Aro assured her. I took a second to laugh at how weird a nickname "Precious Nessie" could be. Sounded like a horrible Nursery Rhyme.

Aro was a skilled liar. I think Nessie bought it. Like the entire army had come thousands of miles just to _chat_. _Sure_. I heard Maggie growl. I forgot we had the lie detector. Aro didn't seem concerned about Maggie's hiss as he glanced at Jacob. I tensed up, ready to fly across the field and help my Alpha if he needed it.

"I wonder…" Aro smiled delightfully.

Edward cut him off immediately, "It doesn't work that way." Aro continued to look at Jacob, and his eyes wandered to us. I begged him to make the first move. I'd rip his arms off before he had a chance to respond. "They don't _belong_ to us, Aro."

Damn straight! _That's_ why Aro was looking at us? Because he wanted to adopt a puppy?

_Go to the pound if you want a dog, you psycho_.

"They're here because they want to be," Edward continued to explain our presence.

_And because we want to tear a chunk out of his pale ass,_ Jacob rumbled.

Aro didn't miss Jacob's hostility. "They seem quite _attached_ to you, though. To all of you. _Loyal_."

I wouldn't have gone that far. I sure as hell wouldn't sleep at the foot of their bed every night.

Edward let out a low growl to defend us. "They're committed to protecting human life, Aro. That makes them able to coexist with us." He paused. "But _hardly_ with you."

_Yeah! You tell him, man_! Seth barked out an approval.

Aro continued to look at us, intrigued. If he kept glaring at me like some moronic person hypnotized by a shiny object, I was going to gouge his freakishly ugly eyes out.

"It could never work." Edward showed his teeth to Aro. I felt like I was in an alternative universe. I'd never thought I'd see the day where Edward Cullen would defend a bunch of werewolves.

_Why does he keep eyeballing us_? Jacob glanced at Edward.

"He's intrigued with the idea of…guard dogs," Edward muttered.

Did we _look_ like German Shepherds to him? I grumbled quietly.

_I'm about to "guard" my claw across his chest,_ Quil snapped.

We weren't the only ones pissed off. Everyone in Sam's pack snarled angrily. I'm sure Paul had some interesting words coming out of his mouth. Sam shut them up pretty quickly.

That was the last thing Aro said about us. I guess he got the message when we shook the ground with our disagreement. He took a moment to glance at all the faces glaring back at him and then went to confer with his brood.

I almost swallowed my tongue when the guard moved forward. What would their next move be?


	57. Alright, let's get it over with

_Step, step right over the line_

_And on to borrowed time_

_When it's life, not waiting to die_

_Waiting to divide_

_"Borrowed time"_

_-A Fine Frenzy_

* * *

**Chapter 57:**

**Alright, let's get it over with**

I watched as Edward, Emmett, and Bella quickly did some backtracking towards us. Jacob stood his ground, growling angrily at Aro. Nessie reached out and grabbed his tail. I had to chuckle. Instead of Jake being the one doing the whole "whose got your nose" bit that most adults liked to torture children with, Nessie was doing a "whose got your tail" game. She held on tightly, not wanting to let go. She wanted Jake to retreat with her family. _He_ was part of her family.

As they backed away, I watched the Volturi drifting closer to us. They stopped where Caius and Aro stood, arguing about their differing views. Caius was pitching a fit about Aro's patience. The guard watched, murmuring things amongst themselves. I couldn't hear exactly what they were saying, but I imagine it was something along the lines of, "Why the hell are we following these douchebags?"

I heard Caius mumble something about us. "The werewolves…" and then he babbled on about "children of the moon." What a moron. It was daylight out. Did he think we were bred out of bad horror movie wolves who had to have a full moon to transform? This guy was a real dumbass.

Edward defended us, yet again. He explained that we were nothing like the wolves they had seen before.

"They aren't even werewolves."

_Okay, now he's lost it._ I rolled my eyes. If we weren't werewolves, then what the hell were we? Labradors?

Aro surprised me when he fielded the question. "Though the creatures think of themselves as werewolves, they are not. The more accurate name for them would be shape-shifters."

Hmm, well, I never would have thought of that. But the creepy-ass vampire had a point.

"They know our secret," Caius whined. Oh, boo freaking hoo. Wah, wah. Get over it.

"Specious allegations get us nowhere." Aro cautioned Caius not to jump the gun and accuse us of this. Translation: find another reason to attack and kill them. And so he did. Caius snapped his head around and demanded to speak to Irina.

_Here it goes._ I was sure this would be the thing that started the war. He was going to use the Denali's closeness as a way to try and tear our side apart. They were going to use Irina as a pawn. I couldn't honestly say that she didn't deserve it. It _was_ her fault.

Irina was still staring at her sisters on the front line. She did look regretful. Caius yelled at her and she turned to face him. The phrase "Oh, shit" was written all over her face.

"You appear to have been quite mistaken in your allegations," Caius snarled.

_Obviously,_ Embry muttered.

I was too busy watching Kate and Tanya to say anything. I could hear the protective growls rumbling in their throats. Aro wasn't as quick to judge Irina as his hotheaded brother. Of course, he was probably just trying to play the "good guy" in their twisted plan. I could even see them planning this in their castle.

_"Okay, you play the bad vampire and I'll play the good one"_

_"But I don't want to be the bad one. I wanna be the good one. You always get to be the good one. You never let me get my way! I'm telling mom!"_

_"Fine, you be the good one."_ I managed to make the entire pack chuckle at that.

Caius accused Irina of being pissed at the Cullens because they wouldn't let her kill us after the pack ripped apart Laurent. She needed to stop beating that dead horse and get on with her life.

"So the Cullens sided with the shape-shifters against our own kind," Caius said loudly for the entire guard to hear.

"I'd hardly call us the same," I heard Edward mumble.

_You got that right, mind-reader. Your family annoys me, but they don't even come close to the kind of scum that these jackasses are,_ I grumbled.

"Would you like to make a formal complaint against the shape-shifters and the Cullens for supporting their actions?" A smile escaped Caius's lips.

Ah ha, so _that_ was his plan. Have Irina complain so they could try to justify their attack. I glanced at Irina as she stared at her sisters. Though she annoyed the hell out of me, I couldn't deny that I saw love for her sisters in her eyes.

"No." Irina shook her head. I could have passed out from shock. She wasn't going to use this to her advantage? Color me surprised. She sighed, "I have no complaint against the wolves or the Cullens." She went on to explain that she misunderstood about Nessie and she jumped to conclusions that she wished she hadn't.

Caius looked pissed, but suddenly his face became serene as he flashed some kind of signal to the guard.

I knew what the signal meant. I think everyone else did, too, but we could do nothing but stand by and watch in shock.

Embry was the only one of us able to mutter out a response, _Holy shit._

Three Volturi soldiers ripped Irina to pieces. I immediately turned to Kate and Tanya. The grief on their faces was unbearable. Vampire or not, I felt bad for them.

Caius grinned smugly. He looked like a three-year-old that had just gotten his way.

"Now she's taken full responsibility for her actions." He set her remains on fire.

_Edward,_ Jacob whined uneasily as he looked at Kate and Tanya.

"On it." Edward was already moving to grab Tanya as she leaped towards the Voturi in anger. "Stop them!" He cried out for someone else to grab Kate. By this time, Carlisle had his arms around Tanya to help Edward restrain her.

Carlisle's voice was calm and serene and _full_ of pity, "It's too late to help her. Don't give him what he wants."

Kate was _livid_. She shocked everyone who tried to get in her way. Any other time, I would have sat back and enjoyed the show. She knocked Rosalie off of her feet first. Seeing Blondie on the ground was a bit satisfying. Emmett was the next person to go down as Kate tore forward. He twitched on the ground like one of those rednecks on _Cops_ that had been tasered for trying to run away with a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

Well, this was it. We were screwed. I had to chuckle. I always thought that it would be _my_ temper that would get us killed. Guess I was wrong.

Kate's screams of agony made me cower down. They reminded me so much of my own mother's cries after my father died. The look of grief on her face was the exact same mask my mom had the night she broke down in front of Seth and I. I shifted uncomfortably.

I noticed Garrett running towards Kate.

_What's he doing?_ Seth questioned curiously. _He's just going to get electrocuted._

Something crossed my mind. I knew what he was up to. _I think that's his plan._

Garrett tackled Kate to the ground, receiving a nasty shock on the way down. But he didn't let her go when she shocked him. He clung to her tightly.

Garrett's distraction gave Zafrina time to take away Kate's vision. She did the same to Tanya. It pissed both of them off, but there was nothing they could do about it.

Garrett spoke softly to Kate, "If I let you up, will you knock me back down again, Katie?" How was he resisting her shocks? The only thing that could keep a vampire like Kate from getting her power through to him would have to be…

It was Bella. I looked at her. She had that same look of concentration on her face that a baby had when she was taking a crap. She was projecting her shield. My jaw dropped in shock. The whiny runt had come through.

Carlisle, forever the peacemaker, tried to convince Tanya and Kate that this was part of the Volturi's plan. They wanted us to attack so they could kill us. He was thinking about everyone out here. He didn't want anyone else to get killed. Carlisle was the first saint vampire I'd ever had a chance to meet.

"My sister…is dead," Tanya cried.

"I know," Carlisle sighed. "I'm sorry."

After a moment, Tanya finally stopped fighting back. She leaned into Carlisle and let out a sob. This was a lot sadder than I thought it would be. I didn't think I would care so damn much. The concern I was feeling made me irritable. I didn't want to feel sympathy for any more vampires.

Seth tried to calm me down. _You're only human, Leah. Of course you're going to feel sorry for them._

_But they're vampires,_ I rumbled unhappily.

_Yes, but they have good intentions._ Seth nodded.

I looked at the surrounding vampires and muttered a cuss word under my breath. Seth was right. Not _every_ vampire here was evil. Certainly the Cullens and the Denali clan warranted my sympathy. I looked at Kate and Tanya and let out a sigh.

Kate was shivering, but not because of her electricity. She felt the grief of losing her sister. Garrett did his best to comfort her.

"I want to annihilate them, Carlisle," Tanya snarled.

"We mustn't do anything too rash, Tanya. You know that." He was speaking so fast that I could barely pick up on what he was saying.

She sighed, "I do."

I glanced at Garrett and Kate, who seemed to be in their own little world. Garrett was back on his feet with his arms still wound tightly around Kate.

"It's gonna take more than one jolt to get me to let go." Garrett squeezed Kate tightly. "Come on, give me all you got." He tried to take her mind off of the fact that her sister had just been killed right before their eyes.

Kate whimpered something. It sounded like "Thank you," but I wasn't sure.

My focus was drawn back to Aro as he mentioned we needed to get back to the matter at hand. The matter at hand was that he needed to kill us before his guard got wise to what he and his brothers had been doing all these years. As weird as it sounded: vampire genocide.

Aro asked to speak to some witnesses. Oh, so _now_ they were going to listen? Jackasses.

He spoke with Amun first. Amun was cold and rigid in his responses. He told Aro in a straight-forward manner that Nessie was Edward's and Bella's kid. The Volturi already _knew_ that. How about he tell them something _useful_?

Aro smiled at Amun and then glanced at Nessie. "Do you believe she should be allowed to live?"

_That's it, I'm going to tear him apart,_ Jacob snapped.

Jacob's growl was echoed by half of the vampires on our side. This hissing business they did was really stupid. They sounded like a bunch of retarded snakes.

Amun quickly told Aro that Nessie wasn't dangerous and then he asked if he could leave. So, he and Kebi were going to be the first to pussy out on us? No surprise.

Siobhan was next on Aro's list. He glided over to her and tried to work his thousand-year-old charm. It looked like a 102-year-old man trying to seduce a woman who was _clearly_ too young for him. He was like…Hugh Heffner...as a vampire. It was gross.

"Renesmee understands the limitations. She's no danger to humans. She blends in _better_ than we do."

Wasn't that the truth? Nessie had _never_ weirded me out as much as Bella and Edward. Besides, she looked, smelled, and _acted_ human. So what if she was genius who could take down a deer that outweighed her by thousands of pounds at five-months-old?

Aro pushed Siobhan to find something wrong with Nessie's existence, but Siobhan refused. Edward growled angrily at Aro. I saw Garrett let Kate go. She was ready and willing to shock if necessary.

Siobhan looked confused as she answered Aro, "I'm afraid I don't follow you."

"Just because there is no broken law does not mean there is no danger."

_Please._ I rolled my eyes. _We were fine and free of danger until you and your little "posse" showed up._ No way that Nessie was dangerous to humans. Deer...maybe. But she would never hurt a human.

Aro then tried to convince everyone that Nessie was some kind of horrible monster that was going to take over the world or some crap. I wasn't really paying attention to him. He babbled on about some supernatural race of humans that might be able to destroy vampires in the future. Hell, if they existed, I might just have to look them up.

"No one knows what this child's future holds…" Aro continued his rant.

_Loads of therapy._ I was certain.

Aro went on to whine about how "the unknown is bad" and yada, yada, yada.

_"Oh, we must fear what we don't understand."_

_"Eeek, oh my God. Change! Change is so scary!"_

_"We mustn't let anyone be better than we are!"_

Even Carlisle rolled his eyes at Aro's ridiculous fears. "You're reaching, Aro."

_Totally reaching,_ I agreed.

Aro raised his hand peacefully. I was getting tired of seeing that fake, "let's be friends" shit. But before I could voice my anger, Garrett spoke up.

I watched with a smile on my face as Garrett ranted at the Volturi's witnesses, accusing them of following a bunch of controlling tyrants. He spouted at them angrily as he pointed out what the Volturi was trying to do.

"Witness as they seek flimsy excuses to continue their true mission."

Garrett was a lot cooler than I had given him credit for. I liked the fact that he wasn't afraid of anything. Of course, that might not help us here today because I think the Volturi were going to rip us to shreds no matter what.

Garrett went on to point out the difference between Carlisle's "family" and Aro and Caius's "coven." He explained that the Cullens actually loved and respected one another, as a true family often did. Garrett's rant would have been really impressive…if anyone had been paying attention to it. Aro just watched in amusement as Garrett explained to the guard that the Volturi just wanted to destroy the Cullens because they didn't understand their way of life. He accused the Volturi of being _power-hungry assholes_…my words, not Garrett's. He ended by simply saying that he would fight for the right to be free.

I felt like I was watching a war movie. _"You may take our heads, but you'll never take our freeeeeedom!"_

Aro's expression changed when he realized that his witnesses were taking Garrett's words to heart. I laughed when I saw the "uh oh" flit in his eyes. He let out a nervous laugh as he called Garrett his "revolutionary friend."

Garrett took offense to that. "Who am I revolting against, I might ask?" He rolled his eyes. "Are you my king? Do you wish me to call you 'master?'"

_I think he wants you to lick his toes, too._ Jacob huffed out a laugh.

_Ew. Gross. They're probably all shriveled and…old._ Seth shuddered.

A grin formed on my face. _Just like…_

_...Sam's dick. We know. You're still pissed at him. We get it._ Quil rolled his eyes. Wow, was I really becoming _that_ predictable?

Aro explained that he hadn't meant anything derogatory, he had just been referring to Garrett's patriotic nature.

Aro then faced his witnesses and asked any of them were dumb enough…I mean _'brave'_ enough to step forward to speak their mind.

A tiny black-haired woman was the first to speak up. She sounded taken aback.

"Are those our only choices? Agree with you or fight against you?"

Sure sounded like Hitler to me. The only good thing about Adolf Hitler was the fact that he was _dead_. Hopefully, Aro and Caius would be joining him soon.

Aro assured the little vampire, Makenna, that she was free to leave. Her mate explained that Garrett was right in everything he had said. Like Maggie, he too was a human lie-detector. Ha! Busted! They took off shortly after that.

Aro then tried to rev his troops up for a fight. Oh, this is what I had been waiting for. Time to get out twenty years worth of pent up anger. I couldn't wait to rip apart these leeches. I could barely contain my energy as I watched the three brothers grim chatting quietly about their next move.

My mind was quickly drawn to Jacob's attention. I saw through his eyes as Bella hugged Nessie tightly and told her she loved her.

"You remember what I told you?"

"I love you, mommy." She nodded with tears in her eyes.

Jacob was staring at Bella curiously. I think I figured out her plan a split second before he did. This had been what Bella was being so secretive about. She knew that in the event the battle took this turn, the only way for Nessie to get out of it safely was Jacob. She couldn't say anything to anyone because the mind-reader would know, and Aro would have seen it in his thoughts. This was probably the smartest thing I had ever seen Bella do. Hell, it was the _only_ smart thing I'd seen her do.

_Bells…_ Jacob whimpered.

"Wait until they're totally distracted and then run with her. Get as far away from this place as you possibly can. When you've gone as far as you can on foot, she has what you need to get you in the air," Bella said quietly.

Jacob was completely stunned. For some reason, I wasn't. That crazy bitch would do whatever it took to protect her child. She'd almost died for her. Having a werewolf running her daughter halfway around the world was nothing compared to that. Though, I had to wonder what someone might think if they stumbled upon that sight. "Oh, honey, look…there's a tiny little midget riding a giant bear."

"This is what you kept from me?" Edward was obviously _not_ in on the plan. He didn't look angry. He looked broken-hearted. "Alice?" So, this had been a part of Alice's plan all along. She _had_ been at Bella and Edward's cabin the day she and Jasper disappeared. And now I knew why.

_I won't let anything happen to her. I swear._ Jacob nodded at Edward and Bella.

"I know," Edward responded. "You're a good friend, Jacob Black."

I rolled my eyes and then snorted out hysterical laughter. Edward was such a cheeseball.

Nessie crawled on to Jake's back and cuddled against him tightly. She settled in between his massive shoulder blades.

Bella told Jacob she knew she could trust him to get Nessie to safety. Honestly, she couldn't have chosen anyone better for the task. Jacob would do _anything_ for Nessie, and he would die before letting something happen to her.

_I can't just leave you, Bella,_ Jacob whined. He glanced nervously at her and then nuzzled his massive head against her granite shoulder. _I…I love you._

"I know." Holy crap, did she understand what he was thinking? I watched in shock as she quieted her voice and kissed the top of Jake's head. "I love you, too, Jake. You'll always be my best man."

That did it. Jacob started blubbering like a baby. I felt a lump forming in my throat.

Edward leaned against Jacob. "Goodbye, Jacob, my brother…my son…"

Okay, lump _gone_. Had Edward _really_ just said something _that_ cheesy? What was this? A bad soap opera gone wild? Had he _really_ just called Jacob Black his _son_? Did he know how messed up that was? How unbelievably corny that sounded? Wow, just…wow.

I heard Carlisle sigh that there was no hope. He didn't sound afraid. He'd accepted it. I glanced across the field to the cloaks of vampires staring at us. I looked at everyone tentatively saying goodbye to their loved ones.

_Leah…_ Seth sounded sad.

_Don't say it, Seth,_ I warned him.

_I love you,_ he said.

_We're not going to do this. We're not going to say goodbye. This is not over._ I glanced over at Embry, who had drifted by my side. He didn't say anything. He just stared at me. I sighed, _I suppose you want to say goodbye with a kiss?_

_We could kiss, but it doesn't mean goodbye._ Embry sounded confident that we would make it through this. _You're right. This isn't over yet._

I didn't understand how he could be so optimistic. I was just doing my best to not accept the inevitable. I wasn't going to go down without a fight, though. And at best, maybe some of us would survive. I looked at Jacob and Nessie. They had the best chance of making a clean getaway.

_Jake, I've got your back, man._ I stepped forward a few feet. _Get the little tyke out of here and never look back._

_I don't know if I have the strength to leave you guys,_ Jacob admitted.

_We'll be fine._ I lied. It's a good thing Maggie couldn't read our thoughts. She would have completely called my bullshit there.

_Leah…_

_You know me. I'm stubborn, _I said sternly. _I'll make sure no one follows you. I've got you covered._

_Yeah. We can take care of it._ Embry stepped up next to my side.

_Do it for Nessie, Jake. Think of what she means to you._ I glanced at Edward and Bella and cringed at my next thought. _What she means to THEM__._ I wouldn't deny that Edward and Bella loved their mutant spawn with all of their non-beating little hearts.

_I…_

_Jacob Black, I order you to get your ass out of here._ I paused. _You made me second in command for a reason. Why don't you listen to me once in a while?_

_Thank you, Leah,_ he said breathlessly.

"If we live through this, I'll follow you anywhere woman." Garrett smirked at Kate.

"Now he tells me." Kate chuckled. I had to admit, their little rivalry was kind of cute. Garrett had probably been adorable when he was human.

All the goodbyes in the air ceased at once and everyone tensed up.

_Alright you vindictive pieces of shit, prepare to die,_ I leaned forward, ready to attack.

Everyone else did the same.


	58. Can we kill them now?

_Is everybody going crazy?_

_Is anybody gonna save me?_

_Can anybody tell me what's going on?_

_Tell me what's going on_

_If you open your eyes_

_You'll see that something is wrong_

_"Crazy"_

_-Simple Plan_

* * *

**Chapter 58:**

**Can we kill them now?**

I waited for the signal to attack, but it never came. The Volturi stood their ground, as did we. Edward glanced at Bella, surprised that her shield was reacting so well. Apparently, the gifted vampires across the clearing were trying to use their abilities on us. But they were failing. HA! Epic freaking fail.

I tensed up when Edward ran over to his father, concerned, "Carlisle? Are you all right?"

Carlisle looked at Edward like he'd lost his mind. "Yes. Why?"

"Jane," he said quietly and growled in Jane's direction.

Miss. Shock-the-universe had gone after _Carlisle_ first? That bitch was making me see red. I couldn't believe she would want to cause him pain. He had _never_ done anything out of line. He was a damn sweetheart. I shook my head. Had I just called a vampire a _sweetheart_? Wow, get a grip, Leah.

I heard Bella grunt out a weak sound. She didn't sound like she was in pain, though I doubt I would care if she was. But it seems as if her shield was keeping us protected from Jane's attacks. Jane looked pissed that her skill wasn't working. I wanted to stick my tongue out and taunt her. Bella wasn't able to keep the child within subdued as she grinned at Jane, basically telling her, "Yep, I rule and you suck."

Jane lost her temper and got ready to attack, but Alec quickly stopped her.

The two Romanian vampires were giddy at Jane's anger.

"Look at the little witch's face." Stefan laughed.

The little gremlin was pissed. It _was_ quite funny. Something told me that Jane was used to getting her way. Spoiled rotten vampire freak.

Alec didn't take very kindly to the fact that we were teasing his little friend. He glared at us, I assumed trying to use his power on us now.

_I still seeeee you._ I chuckled. _Where's this giant anesthetic you supposedly have that everyone speaks so highly about?_ Alec's power wasn't getting through either. As far as I could tell we were all still pretty coherent. Well, as coherent as this group could get anyway. Alec frowned angrily at us. To hell with it; I stuck my big wolfy tongue out at him.

I felt a sudden twinge of weight in my head and my ears started to ring. At first I was afraid that Bella's shield was failing, but then I realized that it was just a change in the atmospheric pressure. Benjamin was messing with the elements trying to blow away Alec's mist of doom.

_Come on, blow it away…_ Jake said under his breath.

_Ha, ha. You said "blow." _Seth couldn't help but giggle.

_Oh my God, are you twelve?_ I rolled my eyes at his immaturity.

The ground started to shake beneath us as Benjamin used the fault lines to create an Earthquake. It caused a crack in the ground. I noticed Seth was awfully close to the cracking ground.

_Careful, Seth,_ I ordered him. It would be just his luck to survive this battle, only to succumb to his own klutziness by falling into a giant gaping hole.

Benjamin praised Bella. I wasn't as quick to give her a "well done." This battle still wasn't over yet. It hadn't even started. Until she used her shield to miraculously behead all of the Volturi, I wasn't going to congratulate her.

The vampires started to discuss their combat strategy. Bella insisted that Edward go after Demetri. He was hesitant to leave her.

_Have some faith in your baby mama._ I joked to try and lighten the mood. _No one is going to touch her, Edward._ I changed my tone to a more serious one. As long as Bella was projecting her shield, she was a valuable asset to us. It killed me to admit that. It caused me actual physical pain.

Zafrina quickly put Edward at ease as well. "No one will touch this young one."

_You forgot "stupid."_ I glanced at Zafrina.

"I'd go after Jane and Alec myself, but I can do more good here." Bella glanced at the supernatural wonder-twins. Hmm, so Alec and Jane must not be very strong fighters. They probably both relied heavily on their powers. But how would they fare without any magic? This would be interesting.

Kate snarled, "Jane's mine."

Uh oh. We might have a fight over who got to kill Jane. I think a majority of us here wanted to be the one to tear her head off. I had only known her for two minutes and I _already_ wanted to kill her. I wanted her to suffer…endlessly.

"She needs a taste of her own medicine." Kate was probably charging up her electricity to the highest voltage possible. I would _love_ to see Jane flying across the field on fire from an electric shock. Seeing Jane explode in the sky would be like watching the best fireworks show ever. We could all "ohh and ahh" as parts of her little midget body started to rain down on us.

Quil couldn't help himself as he started to sing "The Weather Girls"

_It's rainin midgets. Hallelujah, it's rainin midgets. Amen!  
_

The other Romanian was quick to call "dibs" on Alec.

"He's mine." Vladimir nodded.

"I just want Caius," Tanya snarled.

_Hey, leave some for the rest of us._ Geeze, they were going to have all the fun.

Aro called our attention as he explained that before they took a vote on our future, he did want this to come to a peaceful resolution.

Was he fucking kidding? _No one_ here in their right mind was going to believe that. They had come here today looking for a fight. They just hadn't expected that _we_ might be the ones victorious in the end.

He begged Edward and Bella to come join them. They declined…not so politely.

"Let's vote, then," Aro sighed.

Caius went on about what an abomination that Nessie was. Everyone on our side snarled at him. He went on to say that he believed that she needed to be destroyed.

I couldn't help but snap, _What happens if someone comes along and doesn't like you? Do we get to euthanize you too?_

Marcus surprised me when he spoke. He still didn't have any hint of expression on his face, but his vote was to leave Nessie alone. Maybe Marcus wasn't so bad after all. Or maybe he had just gotten so used to spending eternity with his moronic brothers that he found no joy in life anymore.

Aro had a cocky grin on his face as he told us that _he_ got to make the determining vote. I stared at him. What did he want us to do? Give him a treat?

"Yes!" Edward exclaimed quietly. I couldn't help but laugh at the timing Edward had said that. It made me actually want to find a dog biscuit to toss to Aro and Caius. Of course, I knew he wasn't responding to my thoughts, but it was still funny as hell.

Suddenly, I understood what had Edward so excited. A breeze brought a scent my way. I knew exactly what it was the moment I smelled it.

_No way._ Seth gawked.

The scent got closer and stronger. There was something unclear about the smell, but there was no doubt in my mind as to what was getting ready to happen.

"Aro?" Edward questioned.

"You have something further to add, Edward?" Aro questioned.

"First, I would just like to clarify one point."

"Certainly." Aro ground his teeth together. I could see he was not happy with Edward's stalling. But I knew there was a reason behind it.

Edward asked Aro if they could prove that Nessie was not a threat, if this could come to a reasonable, peaceful conclusion.

In all honesty, I didn't want that. I wanted to tear these suckers apart, not shake their greasy little hands and let them run away with their tails between their legs. I had spent the past month training my ass off. I said goodbye to my mother and I had made peace with whatever the outcome of today was going to be. But I always assumed that the outcome was going to include fighting. Something I was desperate to do to relieve some of my tension.

"I do have something more to offer." Edward grinned.

The scent was getting stronger and I could hear the rushing of leaves beneath a cloud of moving feet.

While Edward and Aro argued about how _special_ Nessie was, I turned my attention to the joining forces.

"Why don't you join us, Alice?" Edward called loudly.

Esme let out a shocked cry, "Alice!"

"Alice!" Emmett exclaimed. "She _didn't_ bail!"

"Alice is back!" Nessie exclaimed happily.

_I knew that was Alice's scent_! Seth barked enthusiastically.

_So the little fortune teller is back. Alice is pretty crafty._ Quil shook his head.

_Alice_? Jacob questioned.

Okay, hearing the name was getting a little annoying. I sat around for a few minutes while I listened to everyone say Alice's name a thousand times. When she appeared in the clearing, I was the only one not surprised…and also, the only one who _didn't_ say her name. I figured she'd heard it the first thirty times.

Jasper appeared behind her with three strangers. The two females were vampires, but the man with them had a beating heart. Strangely, he was almost able to keep up with the vampires as they ran. I cocked my head curiously.

Alice was by Edward's side almost instantly. There was a look of satisfaction on her face. She looked proud of herself, like a cat who was dropping a dead bird at their incredibly grossed out owner's feet. Jasper was by her side, as always.

As the strangers walked through Bella's shield, I heard a murmur from the Volturi. Well, now they knew that she shield wasn't worth shit in a physical fight.

Edward spoke quickly, before Aro and Caius could lead an attack.

"Alice has been searching for her own witnesses these last few weeks…"

_And she stopped off to gamble a little in Atlantic City. You know how these physics are._ I shrugged.

Caius threw another fit and demanded that his brother vote…because our time for talking was over. That was fine by me. If he wanted to fight, I was ready for him. Aro shut Caius up and let Alice explain.

She introduced the strangers.

"This is Huilen and her nephew, Nahuel."

"Speak Huilen," Aro commanded.

_So, treating vampires like dogs makes these morons Kings among them? What's he going to ask her to do next? Sit? Beg? Roll over?_ Embry questioned.

I laughed. I had been thinking the same exact thing. We had been sharing the same thoughts for _way_ too long.

Huilen introduced herself and immediately started to tell the story of Nahuel's creepy, horrible birth over a hundred and fifty years ago. His mother had been a human that had gotten pregnant by a vampire. Okay, so idiots like Bella were universal? What was so attractive about a vampire's junk? It'd be like making love to a popsicle. If _that_ wasn't enough to turn you off of sex for life, I don't know what would be.

I tuned out the specifics about Nahuel's conception and birth. I was already traumatized enough by how Nessie had come into this world. Imagine the first thing you saw after being born was your father's teeth slicing open your mother's stomach,

_ "Hi daddy…oh my God, I can see mommy's intestines!"_

I shuddered. Disturbing.

"Nahuel, you are one hundred and fifty years old?" Aro asked.

_I think he wants to throw him a surprise birthday party._ Seth laughed.

"Give or take a decade," Nahuel responded. "We don't keep track."

"And you reached maturity at what age?"

"About seven years after my birth."

"You have not changed since then?" Aro was completely enthralled.

"Not that I've noticed." At least this freaky half vampire child wasn't as vain as some of the leeches I'd met.

_You hear that, guys? Nessie's going to be okay! She'll slow down. The growth spurts will stop. And we can live together forever!_

As thrilled as I was for Jacob that he could live his fairy-tale ending with his under-age child-bride, I was too focused on the fact that everyone's lives seemed to be working out...except for mine. Why was it that Bella got to have her little vampire baby, marry the guy of her dreams, and live happily ever after? Why did I have to lose Sam, kill my dad with emotional stress, and not be able to have children of my own?

I had Embry. I would always have Embry. But I was constantly going to be doomed to remember all the pain in my past. I still hadn't been able to move on from it. The fact that this battle wasn't happening right now was making me furious. I realized that I was using this battle as an excuse to distract me from my sordid life. And right now, I wanted the distraction more than anything.

Apparently Nahuel had sisters. He explained that only _male_ half-breeds could create vampires. Well, that was sexist. Who got to decide _that_? What geneticist decided that only male mutants would be able to change people's lives? Stupid XY-chromosome.

The fact that Nessie wasn't the only one of her kind did not help to put Caius's mind at ease.

"We take care of the aberration here and then follow it south." He urged his brother.

Aro took a moment before he responded. He looked at Nessie and Nahuel, and then back to Caius and shook his head.

"Brother, there appears to be no danger. This is an unusual development, but I see no threat. These half-vampire children are much like us, it appears."

_Except for the fact that they're not psychopaths who need plastic surgery,_ I snapped at Aro.

"Is that your vote?" Caius demanded.

"It is." He muttered something about speaking to Nahuel's father, who was creating a new breed of vampire with beating hearts. Aro smiled at his guard. "Dear ones, we do not fight today."

I was too angry to be relieved. I had been looking forward to getting rid of a few of these masochistic vampires. I watched in shock as they turned away from us and started marching in the opposite direction. It took every ounce in my body to keep me from going after them. They didn't deserve to live. This was not fair.

Aro raised his hands at us and told us how happy he was that this had ended without violence. He was full of crap. After a few seconds, he disappeared with the rest of them.

That was it? Seriously? We had gotten all revved up for a fight and they were just going to run away like pussies? I watched everyone else celebrating and giving each other high fives. They were kissing and shoving their tongues in each others mouths. And all the shit you'd expect to see in a really cheesy romance movie was happening right before my eyes.

But not me. Oh, no. I. Was. _Pissed_.

All that build up for no battle? I wanted to fight. I wanted to rip that entire army of smug vampires limb from limb. And the "good" vampires were making out? I felt like I had been dropped into a parallel universe.

I was seriously hoping for a fight. I had so much built up aggression and tension that I needed to get out. I felt my body start to tremble with anger.

_It's over, Leah. You can relax._ Seth encouraged me to cheer idiotically with the rest of them.

But I couldn't stand around and praise what had just happened. I had a feeling it wasn't over. At least, not for me.


	59. Looks like I'll get some action after al

_Come on and we'll sing, like we were free_

_Push the pedal down watch the world around fly by us_

_Come on and we'll try, one last time_

_I'm off the floor one more time to find you_

_And here we go, there's nothing left to choose_

_And here we go, there's nothing left to lose_

"_Nothing left to lose" _

_-Mat Kearney_

* * *

**Chapter 59:**

**Looks like I'll get some action after all**

No one even noticed when I took off. They were all to busy celebrating to pay attention to the angry werewolf. The only one who cared enough to follow me was Embry. Of course he would follow me.

He didn't say anything. He just ran with me. He knew enough to know that when I was really ticked off, talking to me did no good. Because when I was angry I didn't listen to anyone. Trying to talk sense into me when I was pissed was like trying to talk to a brick wall…who punched.

Seth was the first one to notice Embry and I weren't in the clearing anymore.

_Hey, where are you going?_

_None of your business. Go home and tell mom that we aren't dead._

My brother didn't deserve my hostility. I knew that. But I was rarely rational when my head was clouded with fury. I would apologize to him later.

_Whatever_. Seth wasn't bothered by my short temper. He had lived with me for twenty years. He had learned to take my attitude in stride.

I could see through Jacob's eyes that they were heading back to the Cullen's place now.

_What's your problem, Leah? We survived._ Jacob shrugged.

And _that_ was exactly my problem. I had spent so long preparing for the other outcome that I hadn't thought to prepare myself for being alive after today. Now instead of facing an army of vampires, I had to face my _own_ demons. It would have been so much easier to die in battle.

I pushed myself forward. Running was the only thing I could think to do. It's all I ever did when life got to be too much for me. For some reason it calmed me. I guess it was a better stress reliever than drugs and alcohol. I'd rather be doing something productive than drowning my sorrows by doing shots of Tequila, hugging random strangers in a bar, and dancing on a table for chicken wings.

_I'd pay to see that._ Embry couldn't ignore that comment.

After about half an hour, I had slowed my run to a trot. I felt a little better, but I still was not satisfied that we had just _let_ the Volturi walk away. In order to keep the anger at bay, I tried to focus on the fact that this is the ending that everyone wanted. Seth and Quil were still running around as wolves. Jacob was getting ready to phase back to be with Nessie.

_You guys were really awesome this morning. I couldn't ask for a better pack._ Jacob praised us.

_Knock it off with the chipper attitude. You're ruining my pissy one,_ I grumbled.

Jacob was in too good of a mood to be irritated by my temper tantrum. He told us we were free to do whatever we wanted now and then he phased out. I suggested again for Seth to go home and tell mom that we were okay. He started on his way back home. Quil followed him. He was going to see Claire.

_What do people do after they've saved the world_? Quil questioned.

_Karaoke_? Seth suggested.

_I've been subjected to enough torture today._ I shook my head. _The last thing I want to do is hear you rejects try and sing Queen's greatest hits_.

_That's weird._ Embry stopped in his tracks. I turned my attention to him.

_Why'd you stop?_ I slowed down as well. He was only about a hundred yards in front of me. I crept up behind him.

My nose started to burn, which didn't surprise me consider the number of vampires that were in town right now. Although I believe most of them had left after the non-battle.

I glanced into a clearing and saw three hooded figures hovering around one another. Their faces were turned away from us so I couldn't see them, but I recognized the voices immediately.

"Come on, don't tell me that they don't deserve a good lashing." The high-pitched shrill voice of Jane carried quite easily across to where Embry and I stood.

"Aro's instructions were merely to observe the situation for the time being. Make sure they all disperse. He never said anything about attacking." Demetri tried to calm Jane down.

"Aro is an old fool," Jane hissed. "Besides, I highly doubt we'll be punished for following through on what we originally intended to do today."

The rest of the Volturi was no where in sight. I guess these three were going to take it upon themselves to take their stupid laws into their own little claw-like hands.

_We should probably go._ Embry frowned. _They're going to smell us standing here._

I paused and thought for a moment. Even if they did smell us, so what? I wasn't afraid of them. I thought about the situation logically. If these three were planning what I thought they were planning, we had a reason to kill them. I grinned.

"I'm inclined to agree with Jane." Alec nodded. Their arrogance really bothered me. Unfortunately, they had a reason to be cocky. With their combined gifts it wouldn't take much effort on their part to destroy the Cullens.

Embry backed up. He really didn't want the vampires to know we were listening.

_I highly doubt they care about our presence._ I frowned.

_They know we'll warn the Cullens._ Seth had already changed his path to meet Embry and me. Quil was right behind him.

_As soon as they realize that we're here they'll probably attack us. If this turns in to a fight, I'm behind you all the way, Leah,_ Embry said quietly. We were doing our best to stay hidden for now. I just had to hope that we had enough time to strategize a plan before the leeches smelled us. I glanced at Demetri. For a tracker, he obviously didn't have the best nose in the world.

_Well, I did want to kick some ass today._ Quil agreed that he wanted to fight as well.

_Count me in, too,_ Seth said eagerly.

I grumbled, _Thought I told you to go home, kid._

_I ignore orders._ Seth shrugged.

_Who taught you to do that_? I laughed.

_My sister._

_She sounds like a real bitch._ I joked.

_Oh, she is,_ he said. _But she's usually right._

_Then why don't you go home like I asked you to?_ I questioned. _Mom's probably freaking out right now._

_Relax. I had Jake call her. He told her we were spending the day at the Cullen's place. She bought it._

_Wow, disobeying me and lying to mom. I taught you well. I'm so proud._

_Did you really think I was going to let you have all the fun?_ Seth asked.

My attention turned from my brother back to the three vampires plotting something evil. I hated evildoers.

"They won't even see it coming." Jane grinned.

"What about Alice?" Alec questioned. That's right. Alice was back in town. And she would definitely be able to see this attack coming.

"She's so preoccupied by everything that's going on right now that she's not paying attention to the future." Jane laughed. "This is going to be the quickest battle in the history of battles. I don't even know if we could call it a fight. After you blind them, all that's left for us to do is tear them apart."

They wanted to commit a sneak assault? That was wrong. Even though I had never seen eye to eye with the vegetarian leeches, I don't think they deserved to die. That would hurt Jake and Seth. Plus, Carlisle and Esme had been surprisingly nurturing…for vampires. I couldn't let Jane and Alec destroy them. I had to take this bunch of snotty bloodsuckers out. I at least owed the Cullens that much.

Seth and Quil were less than a mile away. We started to think about tactics. I remembered something from Jake's thoughts about how Alec and Jane weren't very strong fighters because they relied so much on their abilities.

Demetri would be a different story. He might take more effort.

_I'll help Quil rip him up._ Seth nodded.

_Alec is the first one we need to take out,_ I suggested. _He's the one who can deaden our senses. The last thing we need to do is willingly go in to a slaughter._

_Do their powers even work on us?_ Seth questioned. It was a legitimate question. Since Bella had been able to get her shield to work, we never did find out if their magic mojo worked on us. Chances are, they did. Jasper was able to control our emotions and Edward could hear our thoughts. We weren't completely immune to vampires with abilities.

I shook my head. _I don't know for sure, but I don't want to be Anesthesiologist Dr. Doom's Guinea Pig._

Jane pointed her nose in the air at about the time Quil and Seth reached us. I'm sure she'd caught our scent.

_So, Alec first,_ Quil said.

_You can focus on Demetri,_ Embry assured them. _I'll take care of Alec._ He glanced at me. _Is that okay? I know you said you wanted Jane._

_This is going to be fun._ I couldn't wait to bite into that little demon elf. I looked at the three wolves sitting around me. _Are you guys sure about this?_

_We're werewolves. It's what we do._ Seth didn't hesitate to answer.

Jane turned in our direction. Alec and Demetri did as well. Our presence was no longer a secret. I decided to strut over to them.

"Ah, we're no longer alone." Jane saw me walking forward.

Both Alec and Demetri had the same look on their faces. They glanced at Jane sideways, as if they were saying _"Thank you for stating the obvious."_

Jane snarled at me. I didn't respond.

_Sneak around behind them to get to Alec,_ I suggested.

"So, shape-shifter…" Alec glanced at me.

_I'm about to shift my shape into the form a foot so I can put it in your ass._ I stopped a couple of yards from them. I stared at them, trying to keep them focused on me so the boys could get around to the other side.

I saw through their eyes that they were now in the trees behind Demetri and Alec. All I had to do was make sure that they stayed focused on me for just a few more seconds…

"Why have you come here?" Demetri asked curiously.

_To kill you,_ I answered honestly. It's not like they understood what I was saying anyway.

Jane rolled her eyes and looked at Alec and Demetri.

"Let's just kill her."

Before the leeches could move forward with their plan to annihilate me, the boys made their move. They lunged out of the trees.

Seth and Embry both managed to tear off Alec's legs, sending him toppling to the ground. Demetri let out a low grumble and raced towards them in a rage. Quil hit him head on, and Seth joined Quil in that battle. Embry was able to tear off one of Alec's arms.

Jane spun around to try and help Alec, but I sunk my teeth into her right arm, pulling it off. She growled at me,

"You! You're going to regret the day you were born! I'm going to cause you _so_ much pain!"

I looked at her and shrugged. _I'm used to pain. Been dealing with it my whole life. Bring it on._

We both glanced to see how our teammates were doing. I was pleased to see that the vampires were losing. This wasn't the most well thought out plan, but it was working. Seth and Quil had Demetri under control. And Embry had Alec completely unassembled.

Jane screamed out angrily as she watched Embry remove the last limb from her freaky twin. She squinted her eyes at Embry and I saw him fall to the ground. So apparently her current worked on us. Who knew that werewolves were good at conducting electricity? The shock she delivered nearly knocked me off of my feet...and that was just through Embry's thoughts.

_Son of a whore_! Embry screamed. _Jesus_! Well, he wasn't as creative as me when he was in pain.

Feeling Embry's pain enraged me.

_Hey, shortstack...don't mess with my pack!_ I grabbed one of her feet. It caused her to lose her balance, but she didn't fall over.

An agonizing ripple of pain shot through my body. No wonder Edward was so afraid of her. She was like a huge electrical wire. It felt like I was sticking a giant fork into a light-socket while standing in water.

_Leah!_ I heard Seth cry.

_I'm fine. I'm good._ I lied. It hurt like a son of a bitch. I tried to push through the pain. By the time I was able to regain my footing, Jane was over by Alec's body parts, scanning the ground anxiously. When she realized that Demetri had been torn apart, too, she surveyed the area around her. It looked like she was getting ready to run. Seth stood in her path, growling.

Jane growled back at my brother and got that look that she was about to shock him.

I took a step forward and barked loudly at her.

_Step the fuck off, bitch,_ I snarled.

She tried to race around my brother, but he was two steps ahead of her. When he lunged at her she burned him with her thoughts and he fell to the ground twitching like crazy.

_Holy fuck, that hurt._ Seth shook. I rarely heard Seth say that word. It stunned me a little. Seth got to his feet. I saw Embry and Quil closing in on Jane.

_Don't let her get away!_ Quil cried.

I had to be the distraction again.

_Hey, shorty…_ I growled as loudly as I could. It worked as I gained her attention. Jane glanced at me. I grinned at her as Embry, Quil, and Seth all lunged at her from behind, ..._m__ade you look._

The boys managed to decapitate the little freak. I felt a certain sense of satisfaction as my pack and I gathered around the scattered arms and legs. Had we really just done that? It just felt too easy.

_Holy crap, we did it._ Seth was surprised.

_Anyone have a match?_ I questioned. I wanted to watch them go up in flames.

_Are you sure we should do that? What if the others are close by? They'll see the smoke._ Seth looked around.

I had a feeling the others were already gone. Aro had just left behind his little disciples because he knew how much they hated the Cullens. And he knew that he could always explain to the witnesses later that Jane, Alec, and Demetri had acted against his orders. Of course, he wouldn't blame the three of them. He would tell the guard that he simply left them behind to keep an eye on things and then something had happened that had gotten out of hand.

_They aren't around,_ Quil said to Seth surely. _You and I would have picked up on their scents on the way out here._

He had a point. My best guess was that the army of vampires was long gone. These three had volunteered to stay behind. It's not like they knew they were going to lose a suicide mission against four wolves.

I felt the smug confidence radiating throughout our pack. We had just destroyed the Volturi's greatest assets. I saw Jane's finger twitch and decided rather quickly that we needed a fire.

A foul smell leaked into my nose and something rushed through the trees. It was another vampire.

_Two of them_. Seth was certain.

_Crap. Did they set us up_? Quil questioned.

_We need to get these three burning…now_… I frowned.

I tensed up as the vampire came rushing into the clearing. Was this a friend of the Volturi? We were screwed if it was. I watched as he assessed the damage.

The tall dark-haired vampire stepped forward. He didn't look aggressive. He was just taking in the scene. With a quick motion of his arms he tossed a flaming pyre on to the piles of body parts. We watched as the three strongest members of the Volturi went up in flames.

_I wonder if he realizes who he just set on fire. _Embry looked at the leech.

"Let me be the first to say…" The vampire looked at us curiously, "...thank you for what you have done here today."

_Wait, what_? Seth was confused.

"For too many years my mate and I were forced to live under Aro and Caius's rule. Today I saw that every one of those rules were based on lies. But we were trapped." He waved for his mate to come out and join us. She was a petite little thing, but she didn't look afraid. "Demetri would find us if we ran. And I don't even want to think of what could happen if Alec and Jane came after us..."

_Yeah, that current's a bitch,_ I agreed.

"Yes, she is very skilled at using her damn electricity."

Hold on, had he just read my thoughts?

"I did," the vampire admitted. "My name is Robert. I'm sorry, I should have introduced myself earlier." He paused. "Like the vampire you call _Edward_, I can read minds as well." He grinned. I thought about how he had heard all of our hostile thoughts towards the Volturi earlier today. "Ah, yes. Your pack certainly keeps things interesting. I must admit, it was hard to keep from laughing at some of the things that were thought on the battlefield today." Great...now we were stand up comedians.

_You can hear our thoughts_? I asked Robert. Well, that was a stupid question. I already knew that he could. Instead of calling me a moron for asking him that, Robert nodded.

"But my capabilities don't even hold a candle to what my dear wife Rita is capable of. We were part of the witnesses to the Volturi, but we went our separate way after seeing what happened today."

I glanced at Rita. _What's she do?_

Robert smiled at Rita and flashed her a subtle hint that I didn't see. She picked up on it rather quickly.

"You want to know what I do?" She glanced at us. We nodded. "I am able to create memories that aren't really there." Rita smiled proudly.

_So…lying is her special power_? I asked Robert.

"It's a bit more complex than that," Robert explained. "She will create a memory and show it to you through your thoughts. And while you peer into her thoughts she wills you to see the memory as true...even if it's not. She manipulates things to go as she wants them to go." That sounded an awful lot like Siobhan's ability to wish for things to happen a certain way. Siobhan didn't believe it herself, but Carlisle always suspected there was a subtle gift there.

_Great, a lying manipulator. Like our town doesn't already have enough of those,_ I sighed.

"Give us a chance to prove that we are truly on your side," Robert pleaded.

"Yes, I will go to the Volturi. Tell them that these three," She looked at the piles of ashes, "have decided to go their separate ways. I'll show Aro. Tell him that after they saw the way the Cullens were living, it made them naturally curious as to what they can do in their own lives."

_How will that work? Don't they keep records on all of their little gifted vampires? They could easily accuse you of lying to them._ I was uncertain.

"Caius and Marcus know nothing of her ability," Robert explained. "No one else knows. Eleazar knew, but I pleaded with him not to say anything and he graciously kept his mouth shut. We spent a majority of our time hanging out in the back of the guard trying to blend it. It worked for a while. Until we came here today and saw what the Volturi is really all about."

_Why are you helping us?_ I asked suspiciously.

Robert fielded the question. "As we stood to witness for the Volturi, I heard everyone's thoughts. In particular, I was impressed at the loyalty your pack showed to the Cullens…given that you generally kill our kind."

_The Cullens are different_, Seth explained. _They're good…_

"Indeed. We witnessed the love they shared for each other today. As well as their fondness for you."

I gagged when I realized how attached the vampires had become to us.

"My mate and I have seen that it is possible to coexist with all life-forms. We want to have that kind of life. To exist peacefully with others. You and the Cullens have shown us that possibility and we are grateful. So we will make sure the Volturi stays out of this town in the future. They shall not come to seek revenge. After my discussion with them, they will have no other reason but to believe that Jane, Alec, and Demetri abandoned them."

_What if Aro doesn't buy your little fib_? Quil asked.

"She is quite talented in what she does," Robert said surely. "They're afraid Aro won't believe you." He nodded his head at Rita. She let out a grin.

"Oh, he'll believe me. I've done it several times before and he never caught on." She laughed. "I had him believe that communism was _my_ idea and that I once had a luncheon with Sadaam Hussien."

Robert chuckled. "I think Aro might be a little bit afraid of her."

I stepped back. _I_ was a little afraid of her.

"I must go alone, Robert," Rita said sadly. He looked like he didn't like that idea. "I know, my love, but Aro must read _my_ thoughts and only mine. I can show him how Jane, Alec, and Demetri argued amongst themselves about starting a new coven...somewhere completely new. I can't risk Aro taking your thoughts as well. Then he'll know about the ruse."

"Whatever you wish." Robert followed Rita as they ran out of the clearing. Robert stopped at the edge of the trees. "Thank you again for freeing us." Then he zipped out of sight.

I just shrugged and laughed.

_Hell, thanks for letting us rip apart three of your little friends and set them on fire._ The thick smoke filled the air. I just hoped that it was cloudy enough today that no one would notice it through the trees.

_You think we can trust them?_ Seth questioned.

_I'll never trust vampires._ I shook my head. _But what other choice do we have? I mean, they didn't try to fight with us. Plus they're the ones who set the wonder-twins and the Bloodhound on fire._

_Well, if the Volturi doesn't come looking to rip us to shreds then we know they were telling the truth._ Embry nodded.

_And if they do come looking, we'll kick their asses, too,_ Quil said certainly.

As we left the pile of ashes, the pack was stoked that we had gotten to fight after all. I didn't have a word to describe how I was feeling. We had just successfully killed three vampires, which made me incredibly ecstatic. But I was also nervous about how my mom was doing. She knew something was going on today. I hope Seth and I hadn't caused her anxiety level to jump too high. Then there was Sam. We had talked about a lot of different issues, but we still weren't done. I was reminded that his wedding was in three weeks. I suddenly started cussing at myself. I wonder if I could reassemble Demetri just so I could beg him to rip my limbs off so I didn't have to wear a stupid-ass fluffy dress.


	60. My brother the crossdresser

_I try to make it through my life_

_In my way, there's you_

_I try to make it through these lies_

_That's all I do_

_Just don't deny it_

_Don't deny it_

_And deal with it_

_Yeah, deal with it_

_"I don't care" _

_-Apocalyptica_

* * *

**Chapter 60:**

**My brother; the cross-dresser**

The first thing we needed to do after the fight was to tell Jake what had happened. I begrudgingly made my way back to the Cullen's house. On the way back, we ran across the Denali clan. I wasn't one bit surprised to see Garrett with them. I'm sure that he and Kate were going to live happily ever after. But the happily ever after wasn't going to be today. I could see how upset Kate and Tanya were at the death of Irina. Personally, I didn't care that the blonde was dead, but I did feel a bit of sympathy for her sisters.

Seth volunteered to phase to talk to them and tell them how sorry we were about their loss. I would have been more upset, but I was too busy laughing at how goofy my brother looked squeezed into my clothes.

He had forgotten to bring a change of clothes of his own, so I offered him mine. It was only after he phased to talk to the Denali clan that I turned to Embry and howled out a laugh,

_Thanks for not telling him you've got clothes, too. Seeing him dress in drag is the funniest thing ever._ I laughed.

_I'm just surprised that he wasn't smart enough to ask me if I had a pair of pants he could borrow._ Embry smirked.

_It's Seth. Common sense isn't exactly his friend._

_Aw, he would look so cute in a dress._ Quil joked.

I faced him inquisitively. _He's not the one who puts on high heels and a tiara and dances around singing "Someday my prince will come..."_

_Aw, man, thanks a lot for sharing, Embry,_ Quil grumbled. That was a thought that Embry wouldn't have been able to keep a secret if he wanted to. It was just too damn hilarious. Quil immediately tried to defend himself. _Claire likes to play makeover._

_And apparently so do you. Now let me ask you something...do you find that wearing pearls accentuates your neckline?_ I chuckled. _Hey, maybe we can get our nails done together._

_That's it, I'm going home now. Tell Jake to call me if he needs anything else. _Quil couldn't take my torture anymore.

_Pansy!_ I called out after him.

"Hey, where's he going?" Seth turned his attention away from the Denalis.

_Deep into his closet with Michael Jackson and Tom Cruise._ Embry chuckled.

_Oh, that doesn't even make any sense. How could I be gay of I imprinted on a girl?_ Quil questioned.

_Denial my dear friend._ I poked more fun at him.

"Interesting attire." Tanya noticed that the clothes my brother had on were way too small for him.

I barked out laughter and Seth glared at me.

"Yeah, my sister is always finding new ways to torture me," he muttered under his breath. "Anyway, what was I saying?" Seth turned back to the vampires. "Oh yeah, the battle. We just wanted to let you know how sorry we were about your sister. It sucks."

_"It sucks?" That's all he could come up with? Really?_ Embry questioned.

_He has a way with words._

The vampires all shared the same stoic look on their faces. I saw Kate scrunch hers up in agony. Normally, I didn't give a rats ass if a vampire was in pain, but seeing the look on Kate's face brought out the _very_ small part of me that cared. I wished that we could do to Caius what we had done to Alec, Demetri, and Jane.

Tanya let out a sigh.

"Thank you," she said sincerely. She paused and then glanced at Embry and me. "For everything. The fact that you were willing to risk your lives for us speaks volumes. We misjudged you. I'm sorry for that."

Seth shrugged. "It's okay. Most people do."

_Except Charlie. He wanted to adopt us and turn us into lapdogs._ I recalled the way Charlie had given Jacob a belly-rub the first time he'd seen him phase.

"The Cullens are lucky to have you as friends." Garrett smiled. "They are indeed an interesting bunch."

"Yep." Seth nodded. "It's never boring with them around," he admitted. He looked at Garrett curiously. "So, you're going to give the vegetarian thing a go?"

Garrett laughed as he looked at Kate.

"I can't explain it, but this woman does something to me…" He drifted off. "You'll get there too one day. Trust me."

Seth nodded. "Well, good luck. And again, I'm sorry about Irina."

I saw all of them flinch when Seth mentioned her name. They didn't stick around much longer to hear any more. I think the mention of Irina was too much for them to handle.

When Seth phased back, he laid in to me and Embry for making him _embarrass_ himself in my clothes in front of the vampires.

_You guys suck._

_It's your own damn fault for not being prepared._ I shrugged.

He muttered all the way back to the Cullen's house. When we reached the mansion, there was a thick musky smell still lingering in the air. Nahuel was still here with his aunt. I looked inside and saw him staring intensely at Nessie. It was a bit creepy. He was looking at her like she was a piece of meat. I wondered why Jacob wasn't pissing on her like he owned her. _My Nessie. Mine!_ Maybe he hadn't noticed. I looked at Jacob. He was pretty much zoned out. I bet he did that a lot when he was around the vampires.

_Why don't we just phase so we can talk to Jake?_ Seth suggested.

_Good idea. Go in and let Emmett see you in girls clothing. I would love to hear what he has to say about that._ I nodded eagerly. I could just imagine the lashing Seth would get from Emmett for wearing hand-me-down clothes from his _sister_. I sighed happily. Seeing Seth in my clothes brought back funny memories from our childhood. Well, funny for me. When he was two I used to dress him up in mom's clothing and smear make-up all over his face. _Those_ were the days.

_On the other hand, we could always just wait until Jake phases back. I'm sure he's going to want to see his dad to let him know that everything's back to normal._ Seth laughed nervously.

We sat outside the house and listened as Edward explained how relieved he was that Alice had come through with her plan. Apparently if they hadn't shown up, Aro was going to go ahead with the attack even though he was afraid of Bella.

"Aro was afraid?" Bella questioned. "Of _me_?"

_I don't know why she's so surprised. Her idiocy scares the hell out of me._ I shrugged jokingly.

Edward continued blabbing about how the Volturi had never been in a fair fight. Gee, _there_ was a surprise. I rolled my eyes.

"It's hard to feel confident when you're surrounded by horse-sized wolves." Emmett jabbed Jacob playfully. I still couldn't believe how comfortable Jacob had gotten with the vampires touching him.

"It was the wolves that stopped them in the first place." Bella nodded.

Finally, a bit of recognition from little Mrs. Spoiled Rotten.

_Damn straight_. Embry recalled the fight and how the Volturi ceased when they saw us standing there baring our teeth at them.

Edward agreed, "That was another sight they'd never seen. The true Children of the Moon rarely move in packs, and they are never much in control of themselves…"

"So, there are _real_ werewolves?" Bella gawked.

"Real?" Did she think we were a figment of her uninteresting imagination? A zany hallucination? I scoffed. Was that the best her tiny brain could come up with? A fake horror movie?

"Like with the full moon and silver bullets and all that?" Bella continued being dumb.

Embry laughed sarcastically. _Hollywood and their stupid myths._

_At least Hollywood's vampires don't sparkle._

Edward spoke a little bit more about these "real" werewolves. The Children of the Moon. They didn't sound like any kind of creature I would ever want to come across. Although maybe I could befriend one and send it after the Volturi.

Bella started whining about how Alice had left her. _Boo hoo, I'm a baby. Wah, wah._

Bella frowned at Alice. "You could have just told me!"

"I don't think so," Alice said without missing a beat. "You're just not that good of an actress."

HA! Welcome home, Alice! I knew there was a reason I liked her. And indeed, Bella _did_ suck at acting. I had witnessed it. Hell, I'd seen elementary school pageants with better actors than _her_.

A few more minutes passed as Alice explained the situation. I wasn't really paying attention. Sometimes this vampire gossip just made me incredibly bored.

After a little while, Nessie stirred uncomfortably in her sleep. "Should we take Nessie…"

"It would be a good idea." Edward nodded at Bella. He grinned as he looked over at Jacob. "I'm sure she didn't sleep very well last night, what with all the snoring…"

_Like two vampires knocking boots in the same house as her doesn't keep her up every night?_ I rolled my eyes. I shuddered at the thought of two vampires _doing it_. Cold, twisted bodies. Gross. It would be like two rocks humping.

Jacob looked at Edward and smiled. Not an evil "I'm going to get you back smile." It was a genuine smile of friendship. It shocked the hell out of me.

"It's been a while since I slept in an actual bed." Jacob yawned. He had a point. I often wondered where he slept when he was out here. I'm pretty sure none of the vampires owned a bed. Why own something you're never going to use?

_Like Bella's brain? She has one, but she never uses it._ Embry grinned. He knew that would make me laugh. It did. I'm surprised I didn't think of it myself.

_I'm rubbing off on you in all the wrong ways._

_And when did this "rubbing" occur? I was not aware that there was any rubbing in this relationship._ He teased me.

_I do not want to hear this. I do not want to hear this…_ Seth complained. Thoughts of our _relationship_ bothered my brother. I found it amusing.

"You know, I bet my dad would get a kick out of having me under his roof again." Jacob leaned into the back of the couch and stretched.

_Finally_, I sighed. I didn't know how much longer we would be waiting on Jake. He went to hug Bella and give Nessie a kiss on the forehead.

Bella placed her hand on Jacob's cheek.

"Thank you, Jacob."

How could he stand to be touched by her so intimately? It just felt so wrong. But I guess Jacob had gotten over Bella and moved on to her daughter. It's weird the way things worked out.

"Anytime, Bella." Jacob put his hand back on her cheek and winked. "But you already know that." I'm sure she _did_ know that. We all knew that. Jacob would go to the ends of the Earth and back for Bella. I still didn't understand it, but I wasn't going to question his love for her anymore. "You guys are totally worth it." He kissed Nessie's head delicately.

Jacob stood up and punched Edward in the shoulder. Edward laughed and shoved him back. Great, now I was going to have to watch "Edward and Jacob: A werewolf/vampire bromance" for the rest of my life. I never would've thought that I would see the two of them wrestling around like brothers. It was seriously disturbing. And kinda gay.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow." Jacob waved. He let out a sigh, "I guess things are going to be kind of boring now, aren't they?" He sounded both disappointed and relieved about that.

Edward nodded. "I seriously hope so."

"Later, leeches." Jacob headed to the front door.

"Goodnight, _mutt,_" Bella teased him.

Jacob was thoroughly surprised to find Seth, Embry, and I waiting on him. He walked a few yards away from the house before he phased.

_I wasn't expecting you guys to be here, _Jacob said. _Where's Quil_?

_Leah sent him running home with her evil thoughts._ Seth laughed.

_I'm surprised Edward didn't yell at me to shut up. My thoughts haven't exactly been kind tonight._ I laughed as we ran away from the house.

_They never are._ Jacob didn't miss a beat. _But that's why I love you, Leah. No censor. No bullshit._ He paused. _You guys are all great. I've got the most kick-ass pack an Alpha could ever hope for. _Jacob then went into this long speech about how we were such a great pack to have. We had probably gotten half way home before Jacob asked us what we were doing at the Cullens.

_So, why'd you wait on me? I thought that you guys would want to go home and hug your parents in a big "I didn't die" reunion._

_We were headed that way,_ Seth said, _b__ut Leah and Embry stumbled upon something interesting._ Seth couldn't contain his thoughts anymore as he replayed the battle in his head.

Jacob came to a screeching halt.

_You…killed them_? He reviewed the image of the smoking pile of ashes that had once been three very powerful and irritating vampires.

_You're not mad, are you, Jake?_ Seth sat down in front of him.

I didn't care if he was. Tearing those morons apart gave me a great sense of satisfaction.

_Jacob_? Embry questioned.

Complete and utter silence.

_They were going to kill the Cullens,_ I explained.

Jacob looked at me.

_So you came to their defense?_ He was still stunned.

_It was either that or let them destroy everything that you love._

_We weren't about to sit back and watch those freaks kill our friends._ Seth nodded.

_Look, I'm sorry if you aren't happy about this, but I'm not going to stand here and apologize for tearing the Devil's Advocates apart._ _What they wanted to do was just wrong and I…_

Jacob interrupted me, _I'm not angry._ He glanced at me. _I'm proud of you guys._ He paused for a moment. _I'm a little disappointed that I missed the fight, but the fact that you cared enough to protect everything I hold dear means the world to me. I'm impressed that you care so much…_

_Of course we care about you, you idiot._ I laughed.

_Yeah, Jake. You're our Alpha,_ Seth said. _And probably the best friend I've got._

_Yep, we've gotta stick together, man,_ Embry agreed.

He looked at me. I guess he wanted me to say something girly, too. I wasn't going to.

_I still think you're an asshole._

Jacob laughed. _Leave it to you, Leah._

I took pride in ruining sincere moments with loads of sarcasm.

By the time Seth and I got home, the sun had set. I'm sure my mother was going crazy with concern. Jacob had called her after the battle, as per Seth's request. But I'm sure that until she saw us walking through the door, she wasn't going to relax.

"Man, I'm glad Jake had an extra pair of pants." Seth pulled on a pair of Jacob's sweatpants. I was a little disappointed about that. I would love to see my brother walk in our front door naked. It would be even funnier if Charlie was around.

We had phased back and were walking towards the house. We argued about who was going to go in the front door first.

"You go. You're older," Seth suggested.

"Mom likes you more," I said as I reached the front steps.

Seth sighed, "You think she'll be mad?"

"We snuck out of the house in the middle of the night to fight in a battle to protect vampires." I glanced at him with an odd look on my face.

Seth didn't say anything. He just let out another heavy sigh.

"Fine. I'll go first." I shook my head. "You are such a baby sometimes." As I turned back to the porch a light came on that nearly blinded me.

"She put the bulb back in the motion sensor," Seth said matter-of-factly.

"Jeeze, it's like looking directly into sunlight. My corneas feel like someone sliced them in half." I blinked to try and regain my sight. "Apparently our punishment is for us to go blind." I saw little black spots floating around in my eyes.

I shook my head as I opened the door. Even if my mother _did_ punish us for scaring the hell out of her, it couldn't have been worse than losing my eyesight.

As expected, she was standing in the living room waiting for us. I guessed the motion sensor had given us away.

"Heh. Hey, mom." Seth stood behind me. I guess he figured I would protect him if she started chasing us around the house with a wooden spoon like she used to do when we were younger. I hated that damn thing. It left one hell of a mark.

Mom looked relieved to see us. She didn't say anything for a minute.

I looked around the room nervously. My mom scared the crap out of me. I did _not_ want to see her angry. I just let out an anxious chuckle.

"So…what's for dinner?"

I couldn't tell what she was thinking. Her face was a mask of perfect stoicism.

"Sam called. The council knows everything." Mom's face still didn't change.

Note to self: Do not buy Sam a wedding gift. He had to tell them _everything_?

An annoyed smile broke across my mother's face.

"You're grounded til you're thirty."

"For what?" I exclaimed. "I promised you that we'd come home and here we are." I was thrilled that I didn't have to break my promise to my mother.

"Sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night to fight vampires? Taking the light bulb out of the motion sensor?"

"_That_ was all Seth." I glanced at my brother. The look on his face said it all. _I will kill you in your sleep._ I'm sure I was going to pay for ratting him out later.

My mom shook her head and let out a disappointed sigh.

"If I didn't know you were out saving the world, the two of you would be in so much trouble right now."

"We're sorry." Seth frowned. I'm sure he didn't like the fact that we'd upset her so much. I didn't really like it either. But at least we were alive.

My mom nodded surely. "Good. You should be. You two scared the hell out of me." She frowned. "Don't ever do it again," she said. "Now get over here and give me a hug," She commanded.

Seth was the first to lope over to her and embrace her.

"I really am sorry, mom. We were only doing our job."

I wasn't far behind. I hugged her.

"I'm sorry we couldn't tell you what was really going on. We're not really grounded, are we?"

She exhaled sharply, "No. There's too much to be done for Emily's wedding for you to be grounded."

"I take it back. Punish me. Lock me in my room for the next six months."

"You promised Emily you would be a bridesmaid." My mom frowned at me.

Curse the day I made that stupid promise. I grunted, but then forced a smile on my face. I would have to let that be tomorrow's worry. For now, I just wanted to get a good nights sleep. My brother and I were alive, the evil leeches were gone, and everyone around me seemed to be happy.

I had survived the battle. Now I just had to survive a wedding.


	61. Drag me down the aisle kicking and screa

_So, we're alone again_

_I wish it were over_

_We seem to never end_

_Only get closer_

_To the point where I can take no more_

_"Closer"_

_-Joshua Radin_

* * *

**Chapter 61:**

**Drag me down the aisle kicking and screaming**

Three weeks went by terribly fast. I spent most of my time forcing a smile on my face, as Emily was always at our house talking to me and my mother about the upcoming event. Every time she walked through the door, I secretly wished that I had let the vampires kill me. I felt even stronger about death when I saw the dress I was going to have to wear. Every morning I woke up hoping that the world had miraculously ended. I was generally sorely disappointed.

The day the wedding arrived was no exception. Two days after I turned twenty-one, Sam and Emily were preparing to walk down the aisle.

The dress that Emily was making me wear was horrendous. I looked like a giant piece of bubblegum. If I didn't know my cousin any better, I would have said she was torturing me for unknown reasons.

"Ready to go, Leah?" my brother asked when I walked into the kitchen. He was rolling up the sleeves on his new tuxedo. He had grown so much in the past few months that the tux from Bella and Edward's wedding no longer fit him.

I didn't say anything as I walked over to the counter. I looked at my mother's knife set.

"Seth, do me a favor…" I grabbed the biggest knife in the set. "Thrust this directly into my head."

Seth rolled his eyes at my dramatics. "I'm not going to kill you, Leah," he said. "Besides, you'd probably heal before the ceremony anyway."

"Even if it's not enough to kill me, I might bleed all over this lousy excuse for a dress and then I won't have to wear it." I smiled. I would _love_ to bleed all over this. "I mean, come on, I'm a step away from being a badly dressed gay man."

"It's not _that_ bad."

I glared at him. "I look like I've been dressed by a ten-year-old." All we had to do was bedazzle the dress and I would look like a teenager without fashion sense going to prom. I grumbled, "Who in their right mind has a wedding ceremony outside at this time of year, anyway?"

"Actually, Sam was going to have it indoors but he changed his mind after talking to Alice."

"What the hell does Alice have to do with this?"

"The day that she had the vision about the Volturi coming here and ran off with Jasper, she and Sam talked about a lot of things."

"Sam talked to a vampire about his wedding?" I asked suspiciously.

"It's Alice. She can't keep her nose out of anything. You know that." Seth pointed out. I suddenly let out a boisterous laugh when I thought of Alice Cullen giving pointers to Sam Uley about his wedding. "Somehow, the topic of conversation turned to _where_ the wedding would be. Sam told her that they hadn't decided yet because Emily wanted to get married on the beach, but he was skeptical about the weather. Alice told him that they were going to have a beautiful outdoor wedding." He glanced outside. "And what do you know? They are."

"How could she possibly know that they were going to have a nice wedding? She can't see us, remember?"

"Yeah, but she's more reliable than any meteorologist I've ever seen on TV." Seth glanced at the beautiful weather. So Alice had peeked ahead to see what the weather would be like around here that day. That was oddly nice of her. "Oh, don't let me forget to tell Sam and Emily that Bella and Edward send their love. I talked to Bella yesterday. They can't make it. Apparently they never got to finish their honeymoon, so they're on their way to have their second one."

"Thanks. That's _just_ what I want to think about today: two vampires bumping uglies while their highly intelligent daughter is giving them pointers because they're doing it wrong."

Seth shook his head. "Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett are watching Nessie for a few days." He explained that this trip was just for Edward and Bella.

"They couldn't have found better babysitters? By the time they get back, Nessie will be some Little Miss Beauty Queen contestant whose talent is burping the alphabet." I could only imagine the torture that Nessie was enduring with Alice and Rosalie dressing her up in godawful dresses while Emmett taught her some annoying new habits. At least she had Jasper to make her take away her ability to actually care.

"Give 'em a break, Leah. They've been through a lot. They deserve to be happy."

I snorted. Yeah, they got to live their happily ever after. What about the rest of us? I growled. I had a wedding to attend. Before I could complain anymore, my mother rushed us out the door.

I spent most of the ceremony trying not to shove my bouquet of roses deeply into my brain. As it is, I was gripping them so tightly that the thorns started cutting into my hands.

I chuckled in amusement when Claire toddled down the aisle mindlessly throwing petals and dancing around. When she ran out of petals half-way down the aisle she darted back to pick up some of the pieces she'd already thrown.

I was impressed that she got three-quarters of the way through the ceremony before she got bored and decided to take it out on her clothes. I held back my laughter as she pulled her dress up over her head and tossed it aside.

Apparently, her mother was prepared for this situation, as Claire was wearing a little toddler slip underneath her fluffy dress. She didn't seem to mind that the entire town was staring at her and laughing. In fact, she seemed to thrive off of it. She loved to be the center of attention.

When Emily bent down and asked her why she felt the need to strip, Claire's answer reflected what was on my mind.

"It's too fwilly and pink. I don't like the dwess, Aunt Emily. It's yucky."

Three years old and she already had a sense of fashion. I would kill to have a kid like Claire. And now, I would spend the rest of the ceremony grumbling over the fact that I wouldn't be having children of my own.

Aside from Claire's stripping incident, the rest of the wedding went smoothly. Of course, everyone cooed like idiots when Sam and Emily kissed passionately. I cringed. There was also one other person there who let out a disappointed grunt watching their embrace. It was from a tired toddler.

"Ewwww!" Claire groaned. She didn't approve of the mushy stuff.

"My sentiments exactly," I muttered quietly. I knew that no one would hear me complaining. The guests were all too busy cheering and clapping like this was some kind of sports event.

_Yeah, keep cheering them on and maybe we'll get to see them round third base and score a home run._ I thought harshly.

Embry came up to me after the ceremony.

"You look…" He sized up my dress, "...very pink."

I laughed at him. "And you look like a penguin." I poked him in the ribs.

He chuckled and put his arm around me.

"So, how are ya holding up?" He looked over at Sam and Emily.

"Well, I haven't killed anyone...so that's a plus."

He knew this wasn't easy for me. Even though I had him, I still hadn't forgotten what I had with Sam. How had Embry managed to stand by me while I pathetically pined after Sam? For him to continuously be so patient with me proved how much he loved me. He _had_ to love me.

I thought about love. How we choose who we love and who loves us. Really thinking about it, I understood imprinting. Though we might get to choose who we fall in love with, we don't get to choose who falls in love with us. I had always been a firm believer that there was only one person out there for each of us. Even though I had once scoffed at the whole "soul-mates" thing, maybe there was more to it than I realized. Not that I thought it was something I would ever want to do. Besides Embry, all of the other morons who imprinted had turned into drooling jackasses or slaves for toddlers.

"I'm going to grab a drink. Do you want one?" Embry questioned, interrupting my thoughts.

"No, thanks. I'm good." I shook my head.

As Embry walked off, Billy rolled up beside me. I was too busy watching Sam and Emily to say anything to him.

"You look beautiful, Leah." Billy complimented me.

I turned to him. "I want to set this dress on fire."

He laughed. "You know, you did something like that once." I gave him a puzzled look and he chuckled again. "You were three. It was before I stopped smoking. One day when I was babysitting you, you came across my lighter. Somehow you managed to light an entire laundry basket on fire. I got it out pretty quickly, but two of your best dresses were toast."

"I bet my parents never let you babysit me again."

"Actually, your dad found it funny as hell."

Of course he would. My father always had a twisted sense of humor. My mom told me that's why she fell for him in the first place. I looked over at my mother. She and Charlie were laughing and shoving cake in each others faces. I smiled. It was only a matter of time before I had to don a hideous dress again for _their_ wedding.

"They're pretty good together." Billy noticed that I was watching the two of them smiling at each other. I nodded silently. He shook his head. "I never thought I'd see her happy again."

That made two of us. After my dad died my mom had put on a strong front. She always faked a smile. I thought she was smart for doing that. After all, people ask less questions when you're smiling. But sometimes at night I could hear her sobbing quietly in her room. Losing someone you love is never easy. What happened to the whole soul-mate concept then? What if the one person you thought you were meant to be with forever was no longer an option in your life? Could you really love more than one person with all of your heart in your lifespan?

"Charlie loves her." I was sure. I paused and thought about what I was going to say next. "And she loves him." How was that possible?

"Love is a funny thing."

That wasn't the first time I'd heard that phrase. Embry had said that to me before. I didn't understand then, but I got it now. There was absolutely nothing in this world more confusing, more painful, and more beautiful than love.

Love existed in many forms. I would have known that sooner had I opened my eyes to the world around me. But I had been burned by love so many times that I just gave up on it completely. Maybe I should give it another shot. Just because you've failed in love once doesn't mean you're destined to live alone forever.

I looked over at Embry chatting with Jacob at the buffet. I had to laugh. Where else would the teenage werewolves gather?

It was a little nerve-wracking...all this thinking about love. There were too many "what-if's" going through my head. Could I really be happy? After everything I had done in my life, did I really deserve it? Was I just setting myself up for disappointment? Would I end up a bitter old lady screaming for my neighbors to keep their damn kids off of my lawn?

As independent as I was, I didn't want to end up alone forever. I could joke about becoming a crazy cat lady, but it wouldn't be so funny if that actually happened.

It seems like everyone around me was happy with their lives. Mom and Charlie had one another. Jacob had Nessie. Quil adored Claire. Edward and Bella, even two of the worlds most screwed up people, managed to find happiness. I glanced at Billy in his chair next to me.

"Are you happy, Billy?" I questioned.

"About what?" Billy asked.

As awkward as this question was going to sound...

"About how your life turned out?"

Billy took a moment to pause before he answered and then he chuckled a deep laugh.

"You're asking me if I'm happy that I'm confined to a wheelchair all the while knowing that my _son_ is a werewolf in love with a vampire's child?" He pursed his lips together. I saw him look over at his son. Jacob was telling Seth, Embry, and Quil about something horribly cute Nessie had done. Billy laughed again and then looked at me. "Jake, Rachel, and Rebecca are all happy and that is all I've ever wanted for them," he sighed. But it was a happy sigh. "Watching the people I love find meaning in their lives makes me happy." He sounded like he meant it. He looked over at Sam and Emily. "If you'll excuse me, I've got to congratulate the bride and groom." He wheeled away from me.

I watched as Billy shook Sam's hand. Emily leaned down and gave him a kiss on the cheek. The happy couple leaned in to each other. They locked eyes and smiled at the exact same time. It was a bit eerie how in sync they were. I saw the way that Sam and Emily were looking at one another and I realized exactly how much they cared for each other. I had seen it in Sam's thoughts thousands of times, but I never wanted to accept it. But standing here next to my cousin today I could no longer deny the love they shared.

If Billy could be happy even with some of the shit that his life had handed him, then why couldn't I do the same? Sam and Emily really loved each other and I should be happy for them.

Emily looked over at me and waved tentatively. I smiled and waved back at her. The funny thing was, I didn't have to force the smile. It wasn't fake. I think…I was happy for them. Emily had been my best friend since we were little. She was the sister I had always wished for. Before Sam imprinted on her I went to her with my problems. We had really been through a lot together.

And Sam-he broke my heart. But try as I might, I couldn't find it in that broken heart to hate him any longer. Because I had once loved him...and I like to think that he loved me, too. But he wasn't my Sam anymore. He was Emily's. And she was his. They were married. They were meant to be. I had to stop holding on to a future that I could never have. As much as it killed me, I had to let him go. Sam had said something to me a few weeks ago, _You're still so angry with me that you can't let go of your past to enjoy your future._ And he was right. In order for me to have my happy future, I was going to have to wave goodbye to the past.

I waited until Emily was occupied by Claire, who wanted her aunt to play hide and go seek with her. I laughed as Claire pulled Emily along with her tiny little hand. For a three-year-old, she was exceptionally strong.

Sam leaned against a table full of hors d'oeuvres. If I wanted to be really childish, I could easily bump into him so he would stumble over the table and wind up on his back covered in Mini-quiches and Spinach Dip.

As entertaining as that would have been, I decided not to go that route. Instead, I walked up to him.

"Hey. Congrats."

He looked stunned when I gave him my well wishes. I'm sure he thought I was drunk. It had been a while since I'd said something kind to him.

He mustered up a "Thanks," and we stood in silence for a moment.

This wasn't going to be easy. "Want to take a walk with me?"

He looked uneasy as he responded. "Sure." He paused. "You're not going to kill me, are you?"

"No."

"Hit me?"

"Probably not." Though I could never make any guarantees. Sometimes my temper did get the better of me.

He shrugged as he followed me out to a path nearby. He and I used to walk this path as a couple. As we were drifting away from the reception, I saw Jacob give me a look of concern. I guess he was afraid that I was going to kill Sam, too. I waved to him and gave a slight nod of the head to let him know that I wasn't in a killing mood.

Sam was the first to speak when we were alone.

"I know this day can't be easy for you. Emily and I both appreciate the fact that you came."

"Of course I came." I nodded. "You two are my best friends."

I thought he was going to die from shock.

"What?"

I let out a sigh, "I've decided that I'm done being angry with you."

"You…what?" he asked again.

"I've spent the past year being this angry, hateful bitch. But I don't want to be that way anymore. I realized that the only way I'm going to be able to change is to let go of my past. I have to get rid of all this pain and resentment that I've been holding on to." The words were pouring out now. I could not believe I was saying this out loud. "So, I forgive you, Sam. For everything." There, I'd said it. The strange thing was...I think I meant it.

I watched as he thought intensely about what I was saying. He was completely flustered.

"Leah, you're amazing." He surprised me with his response. He smiled softly as he took both of my hands in his. Normally, I would have pulled away and kicked him in the crotch. But today I didn't feel the urge to do that. "Thank you." He squeezed my hands and leaned in to kiss my forehead.

Okay, why was I not uncomfortable with this? I waited. Any minute now my brain would kick on and I would smack the shit out of him for touching me and tell him that he had lost his right to cuddle with me the day he'd broken my heart. But those words never came. I didn't feel anything other than content. Sam let go of my hands and embraced me in a hug. Damn, this "letting go" thing was actually working.

After Sam pulled away from me, I looked into his beautiful brown eyes. His eyes were the first thing I fell in love with. Never mind the fact that he was gorgeous to boot. I had never noticed him until high school. He had pined after me since we were five. When we were in kindergarten together he used to draw me cute little pictures and bring them over to me shyly. I would usually scribble "You smell" or "You're a doodie head" across the little love note and then ball the picture up and throw it at his head. But even then, I knew that he had pretty eyes. I would tell my mom all about the annoying little boy who had sparkly eyes that drew me pictures and sucked at kickball.

As we got older, Sam knew that I was a sucker for his eyes. The first day of ninth grade I caught him stuffing something into my locker. It was a picture he'd drawn in kindergarten that he had held on to for all of those years. It was two badly drawn stick-figures. A little girl and a little boy. They were holding hands. But the way he'd drawn the little boy's eyes looking so lovingly at the little girl was remarkable. And at the bottom of the picture, there was Sam's messy five-year-old handwriting. It was a question: Will you be my girlfriend?

After looking at the picture and facing Sam, begging me with those damn eyes, I'd said yes. He hauled off and kissed me right there. After the kiss, I was in love. That's when I lost myself in our relationship.

We were always together after that. And every time we would kiss, I would look into his eyes afterwards. There was always love there. His eyes never lied. I could always see through him. The day that he broke my heart he wouldn't look at me directly. I had forced him to look me in the eyes and tell me that he didn't love me anymore. He did. And his eyes didn't lie. It was excruciating. But even then I could see how much he still adored me.

But as I looked into his eyes at this very moment I realized that there was nothing there. And strangely, I don't believe that my eyes would bestow anything different to him. We weren't meant to be. You don't just wake up one day and stop loving someone. But he had. And now, I was doing the same.

"What brought this on?" Sam questioned curiously.

I thought about how we had been friends for fifteen years. And about how even though we were broken up we still couldn't stay out of each others lives. Something pushed us to be together. We were forced to share the same thoughts when we were wolves. When I phased for the first time, I had mixed emotions about realizing that Sam was in my head again. Part of me was pissed that I had to listen to my ex-boyfriend's rule. But the other part was smug and satisfied that I would be this intimate with Sam when Emily never could.

"You remember when I first phased?" I asked.

I saw him swallow a knot in his throat. The first time we had shared the same thoughts was not a happy memory for him. Wasn't for me either. The moment that I realized what was going on my first instinct was to rip Sam's throat out. Even though we had been broken up for almost a year, I was still harboring a lot of negative feelings for him. I was determined to somehow make it his fault.

"I seem to recall that you threatened to castrate me," he said. "And I believed that you were capable of actually doing it."

"I would have too had Embry and Jacob not been there," I admitted. They had calmed me down by making me laugh my ass off as they bickered about who had the silkiest coat. Listening to those "macho" boys have such girly thoughts was hysterical. My anger hadn't stayed at bay very long. I was still so angry at Sam that I didn't listen to a word the boys said as they explained to me about the vampires and the Quileute legends. I picked up on how we read each other's thoughts very quickly. That was unfortunate for me. As if Jacob constantly thinking about Bella wasn't annoying enough, I had to see in Sam's head every day how much he loved Emily. Jake told me that Sam couldn't help but to think of her.

_It's kind of hard for the guys who have imprinted to think of anything else._

_Imprinted?_ I asked.

I had felt Sam's anger at Jacob for mentioning it.

_Dude, she has to know about the imprinting thing sooner or later._ Jacob didn't care.

_What the hell are you talking about_?

I was livid when I found out about Sam imprinting on Emily. I still didn't know what it meant. I was too busy plotting Sam's death to hear them explaining it to me.

That first week as a wolf sucked. Even though Sam did his best not to obsessively think about Emily, I still felt like I was watching an autobiography of my cousin's life. Finding out that Sam had been the one who'd disfigured her face shocked the crap out of me. I knew that Sam loved Emily. But hearing that Emily wanted to stay with him after he hurt her, I realized how much she loved him back. But even though they were in love I still couldn't help but hold on to hope that maybe one day Sam would leave her and come back to me. Knowing that that would never happen pissed me off, so I started smarting off anytime we were together as wolves. I became a completely crazy bitch.

I faced Sam, who was being incredibly patient waiting for me to continue.

"I knew how much you loved Emily the first time I was a wolf." Sam's eyes darted to the ground. "It's not your fault. I didn't see it then. You didn't have a choice in the matter. All that stupid destiny shit got in the way." I frowned. "You looked at Emily through new eyes when you became a wolf. You saw her differently. You saw her in a way that you never saw me." This was painful for me to say, but not nearly as painful as I expected it to be. I feel like I was getting a weight off of my chest. "You saw her...and you loved her. I knew you and I were over at that point. Even then, all I saw was you, Sam," I sighed. "But I don't see you anymore. I came here today because I realized that you and Emily really were meant to be." I didn't have to like it to accept it. I paused, and then added, "And...because my mom threatened to dye my hair purple in my sleep if I didn't. And quite frankly...my mother scares me," I admitted.

"She scares me, too." Sam laughed.

I think I had poured my heart out enough. I glanced back to the wedding party.

"We should probably get back before Emily finds out that I dragged you off somewhere and assumes that I've beheaded you or something." I started to walk back towards the five hundred different shades of pink and black that people were wearing today.

Sam grabbed my arm gently and turned me back around to face him.

"You're going to get your happy ending, too, Leah." He smiled. "You deserve it."

That's the first time I had heard that statement and actually believed it myself.


	62. Life doesn't completely suck after all

**I went with two songs for this chapter, because I couldn't choose between the two. One is for Embry and the other is for Leah.**

* * *

_I need to be bold  
_

_Need to jump in the cold water  
_

_Need to grow older with a girl like you  
_

_Finally see you are naturally  
_

_The one to make it so easy  
_

_When you show me the truth  
_

_Yeah, I'd rather be with you  
_

_Say you want the same thing too  
_

_Say you feel the way I do_

_"I'd rather be with you" _

_-Joshua Radin_

* * *

_Love took me by the hand  
_

_Love took me by surprise  
_

_Love led me to you  
_

_And love opened up my eyes_

_"Drop in the Ocean"_

_-Michelle Branch_

* * *

**Chapter 62:**

**Maybe life doesn't completely suck after all**

We made our way back to the reception. Sam and I glanced at each other and then made our way back to our dates'. Jacob and Embry were talking about some guy-related stuff. It was all gibberish to me.

Jake looked up when he saw me coming.

"Have I told you how hideous that dress is on you, Leah?" He teased me. "I mean...seriously. It looks like something Paris Hilton's dog would wear."

"Shut up, Jacob." I laughed as I shoved him.

"Uh oh, I better watch out. Pink Ranger Barbie is mad." Jacob chuckled. He glanced at Embry. "Come on, help me out, man. Doesn't she look like something that a princess would vomit up?"

"Dude, why would you even ask me that? You know I'm going to side with her."

"Bros before hos." Jacob joked.

"Did you just call me a ho?" I asked Jacob seriously. He grinned at me like an idiot and inched away from us.

"I just remembered...I've got to...uh...teach Nessie how to...um...well...crap..." He obviously couldn't think of anything that he knew how to do that Nessie didn't already know. "Well, she's going to teach me…Calculus." He dashed away from me. I glared after him until he was no longer looking at me. Then I let out a confident grin.

I laughed as I watched him run away like a sissy.

"I love doing that to him." Making Jacob nervous was always funny. I was the kind of girl that liked to keep people guessing. No one knew what I would do next. Which worked wonderfully to my advantage when people pissed me off. They were usually so frightened of me that they ran away. Case and point: Jacob.

"It's pretty damn funny," Embry agreed.

I didn't say anything back as I smiled at him and gave him a kiss.

He smiled back. "What was that for?"

"For loving me despite my flaws."

Embry looked around at the other guests. Everyone was wrapped up in their own conversations.

"Hey, you wanna get out of here?" Embry suggested.

"Nothing would make me happier," I admitted. Though I was apparently now seemingly okay with Sam and Emily's relationship, I still hated weddings. And this damn dress was making me irritable.

"I bet I know a few things that could." Embry grabbed my hand. We edged towards the forest.

"Like what?" I asked.

"You'll see." Embry grinned. He had a devilish look in his eyes. He was plotting something.

Once we were in the cover of the trees, Embry pulled something out from behind a stump. It was bag. He reached in and pulled out a change of clothes.

"I stashed them here this morning. I knew you'd want to get out of that dress as soon as possible."

I laughed as I took the clothes from his hands.

"You are the best boyfriend. _Ever_." It didn't take me long to lose the horrible frilly thing that my cousin considered pretty. When I reappeared I noticed that Embry had changed into something more relaxed as well.

I looked at him, perplexed.

He explained, "The tux is a rental. I don't want to ruin it." He smiled and grabbed my hand again. "Come on."

I was trying so hard to keep up with him. He was obviously excited about whatever he had planned.

"Where are we going?"

"I believe that you lost a bet to me a few weeks ago." Embry grinned. "And the time has come for you to pay up." I looked around and noticed that we were on our way to the cliffs that the boys jumped from. He had brought me here a few times after we chased the Volturi away, but I had yet to come through on jumping. I just didn't see the point.

Today, however, I felt adventurous. If it was his plan to ask me to cliff-dive maybe I would actually follow through with it.

"It's awesome, isn't it?" Embry looked at the view. It really was gorgeous. The water seemed to be especially clear today. And the rarely seen sun was creating a beautiful reflection off of the shore. I listened to the waves gently crashing against the base of the cliff.

"Yeah, I guess the view is pretty nice."

"So I'm pretty sure you've figured out my genius plan." Embry raised his eyebrows at me.

I decided to play dumb.

"Why, no, dear. Whatever do you mean?" I pressed my lips together in a smile.

"Well, _obviously_, I'm going to ask you to marry me, jump off of the cliff, and then drive to Vegas to get married by Elvis's fat cousin." Embry chuckled as he grabbed my hands.

I sighed and giggled, "You're so romantic."

"So are you going to jump with me today or not?" Embry questioned.

I didn't even think about it as I responded. I already knew that I wanted to do this today. Then if I hated it I could bitch about it afterwords.

"Sure."

Embry looked surprised that I was going to do it. I guess he thought I wouldn't have the guts to follow through.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, why not?" I asked. "You've been bugging the hell out of me. And I trust you not to get me killed because if you do I'll come back and haunt the crap out of you." I glanced at the clothes that I was wearing. Embry had really thought this through. The pants and the shirt were both lightweight so I wouldn't have any trouble swimming to the shore in them. I couldn't imagine what a disaster it would be for me to try and make my way to shore in the bridesmaid dress I was wearing earlier. Though it would have been fun to destroy it. A thought occurred to me and I laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"I should have kept the dress on. I bet after I jumped I would have looked like Cupid jacked-off on me." I howled out laughter.

"And yet I still want to be with you even though your mind is more perverted than mine."

"Embry, my mind is more perverted than a horny sixteen-year-old boy peeking into the girls locker room while listening to Michael Jackson on his I-pod." I shrugged. "Perversion tends to happen when you're the only girl among a group of guys."

"Well it doesn't matter to me what you're wearing. I just thought that when you looked back on this you wouldn't want to remember wearing an ugly dress from your cousin's wedding."

"If I could I would erase the dress from my memory completely."

"Trust me, after this, you won't even _remember_ the dress." He promised.

"Cliff-diving is really _that_ intense?" I laughed.

"Hopefully the cliff diving won't be the most memorable event of the day."

Now I was confused. Did he have something else planned after this? I hoped that it wasn't some formal dinner where we had to play dress up and act all civilized in a restaurant that has overpriced food that tastes like crap. That would not be my idea of a date. I wasn't the "wine and dine" type of girl. Embry knew that. I had to remember to have faith in my boyfriend. He knew me better than I knew myself...which must be kind of terrifying...because sometimes my mind was a scary place.

"Hey, I'll settle for remembering anything other than Emily and Sam's wedding." I shrugged.

"It won't be _their_ wedding that you'll see when you look back at this day." He paused. "It will be the day that I mentioned _ours_."

"You've completely lost me." I'm sure the look on my face said it all.

"Check your pocket." Embry glanced at the pants I was wearing.

There was only one front pocket in the pants that I was wearing. When I reached in to search for whatever it was that Embry had planted there my fingers came to rest upon something small and round. I knew what it was immediately.

"The ring you gave me for Christmas?" As far as I knew, this was supposed to be on my nightstand. I would usually wear it each night when I went to bed...as corny as I knew that was.

"Yeah, I hope you aren't mad. I had your mom swipe it for me this morning while you were getting ready."

Of course. What scheme was my mother _not_ in on? She loved to help Embry out.

"So you stole something that you gave to me so you could give it to me again?"

"I wanted to be creative in my proposal." Embry laughed.

"This is creative, alright. I never would have…wait...did you say 'proposal?'" I squeaked. Did that mean what I thought it meant?

"I'm not going to do the "get down on one knee bit," because I know you'd probably cuss me out for getting all romantic and mushy on you." Embry took the ring from my hands and held it up with a smile on his face. He didn't say anything as he took my left hand and slid the ring on my ring finger. I had worn this ring every night since the day that Embry had given it to me, but when he slipped it on my finger, it felt very different. "So, I've got a question I need you to answer for me..." He held my hands.

My heart was racing and my brain was desperately searching for something to say. Was I perceiving this right?

"You wanna get married?" he asked.

Well, all my doubt was out the window. Embry had just clarified what I thought he was asking. But he couldn't be serious? I looked at him, uncertain of where he was going with this ruse.

"You are so full of shit…" I laughed. I studied his face. Something about it was very serious. Suddenly I realized that he _wasn't_ joking. "Oh my God, you're serious?" I frowned at myself. Insert foot in mouth. I was such an idiot sometimes.

"We don't have to do it until you're ready. I just want to know that you do want to be with me," Embry explained.

"Of course I do." I blurted the words out pretty quickly. I cocked my head and looked at him. "Why now? Why did you ask me today...of all days?"

"I had a feeling you would talk to Sam at the wedding. And I figured one of two things would happen. Either you would punch him again or you would get everything off of your chest. I assumed from your relaxed mood that your talk with him went well."

"Yeah. It did."

"The only thing left for me to do was get you to cliff-dive with me today."

"That is the most confusing plan I have ever heard."

"I've just been waiting for the day that you said yes to cliff-diving."

I was even more confused now. That didn't make any sense. He had been pestering me to cliff-dive since he'd joined Jake's pack. And he pretty much guaranteed that I was going to do it when he made that bet with me. I felt like a dumbass because I still didn't get it.

Unless…

It was never about cliff-diving. I felt the little light-bulb in my brain click on. Now I got why Embry wanted me to jump with him. It was never about the bet. It was about trust. He was trying to get me to trust him. He knew that as soon as I let Sam go, I would be ready to take the next step with him. He wanted me to feel comfortable with him.

"This whole cliff-diving thing was a metaphor?" I questioned.

Embry furrowed his brow in concentration and then let out a soft smile.

"Uh, you'll have to help me out on the vocabulary. I haven't been to class in a while."

I laughed. "You want me to put my trust in you."

"Something like that."

I bit my lip as I thought about this. I trusted him not to get me killed today. But did I trust him enough to marry him?

Embry seemed to know what I was thinking.

"Don't over-think it." He pulled me close to his chest. "Just go with your gut."

"You want me to make this decision on impulse?" I couldn't help but laugh. I had been impulsive about many things in my life and it usually brought me nothing but trouble.

Embry lifted my chin gently.

"Leah," He lowered his eyes forcing me to meet them, "look at me. _Really_ look." He leaned in to kiss me.

When our lips met, instead of closing my eyes and falling into him like I normally did, I kept my eyes fixed on his.

I could see him looking into my eyes. His gaze burned through me. He wasn't just looking at me...he was looking into my soul. I could _feel_ the love that he had for me. He loved me with every ounce of his being.

Embry pulled away, but continued to stare at me with a smile on his face. The way he was looking at me made me feel warm and safe.

We had kissed so many times, but never like this. The outcome of this kiss had made my heart rate jump through the roof. I panted to catch my breath.

"Do you get it now, Leah?" Embry leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "I _love_ you. I am madly, crazy, insanely in love with you. That is never going to change. I'm going to be here with you for the rest of our lives. I will never stop loving you. I'll love you even when you're an eighty-five-year-old woman running people down with your motorized wheelchair." I laughed. I could see me doing something like that. Embry continued, "The love that we have will never die."

I grinned. "I thought you weren't going to do the "mushy" thing."

"I know, I know. I'm a total pussy."

I looked at him seriously. "Yes. Yes, you are." Then I laughed again. "And yet I still want to spend the rest of my life with you despite that." I glanced at the ring on my finger.

I realized that how we had gotten to this point didn't matter anymore. Because we were here. And I knew that we belonged together. Embry asked me to open my eyes and look at him. And now that Sam was out of the picture, I could _really_ look. When he kissed me I looked into who _he_ was. And when I did something incredible happened.

I recalled something Jacob had once said about how he was blinded by his love for Bella. And about how Nessie unclouded his judgment. Embry had done the same thing for me that Nessie had for Jacob. By loving Embry, I was able to get over Sam. I had been so angry and so filled with rage that I had been blind for so long. But Embry had forced me to open my eyes and look at the world for what it really was. And he was part of it. Now and forever.

Because of Embry's patience and his uncanny ability to just let me be me, I had slowly learned to open my heart again.

"So, it's a 'yes' then?" Embry questioned curiously.

I thought in silence for a minute and then nodded. "As long as you don't plan on making me wear a dress. Were you serious about Elvis's cousin in Vegas?"

"Nah." He paused. "I think it's his nephew."

We stood in silence for a minute. I had to wonder if Embry was shocked at my acceptance.

"Are you surprised?" I questioned.

"Not really. I always knew that I'd get you to say yes. I just had to wait for you to stop being such a stubborn idiot."

I gasped out a laugh. "I can't believe you just called me an idiot!"

"Oh? Well, what are you going to do about it?" He teased me.

"I'll tell you exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going to marry you so you'll be stuck with me for life." I did my best to laugh maliciously. It came out sounding like a cat hacking up a hairball.

Embry was laughing hysterically at me. "That was really cute, Leah. Do it again."

I had now lost it to my laughter. I couldn't believe how happy I was. So this is what it felt like to love again.

I looked at Embry and sighed happily, "I'm giving my heart to you," I admitted, and then added cautiously, "Don't screw me over." I warned him. "If you hurt me…"

He quickly stopped me from finishing that statement as he brushed his finger across my lips and shook his head. "Won't happen. Trust me."

I believed him when he said that. It felt weird to trust someone other than myself. I could count on one hand the people in my life that I trusted. Embry was now on that list. He would fit in well. My brother was on the list as well. We fought just like every other pair of siblings in the world, but when it really came down to it he was someone I knew I could count on. I felt the same way about my parents.

I thought about how my mom would react to the news that her little girl was getting married. Something told me that she already knew. Embry did say he'd had her help getting my ring back. Did he explain to her why?

"I've gotta ask...does my mom know you were planning on asking me this?" I asked.

"She knew about it before I did." He laughed. "I think she knew the day that I told her I imprinted. When I talked to her about that I asked her if it would be okay if I asked you to marry me someday. At first she didn't say anything, so I got all nervous and started babbling about how I'm sure it wasn't going to be anytime soon. But she smiled at me and told me that it would be sooner than I thought." He paused to recall their conversation. "Then she wished me all the luck in the world. She said you're a handful." He winked at me.

I nodded, not at all surprised. "Yeah, that sounds like my mom. Her mother's intuition can be a pain sometimes." I glanced out at the ocean in front of us.

Embry did the same. A gentle breeze came in. Embry looked at the current.

"You still want to jump?" he questioned.

"If you want to."

"It's fun." He smiled. "But if we're going to do it, we should probably get to jumping. Because the tide is supposed to be rolling in later today."

"So...you just jump?" I asked. "Is there any particular way to fall?"

"Just make sure to jump out as far away from the rocks that you can." Embry glanced at the water below. "The tide looks pretty calm right now. But if you do happen to get caught in the undertow swim parallel to the shore."

He couldn't think that I was _that _inexperienced at swimming? I frowned at him.

"I remember how to get out of a riptide. That's the first thing they taught us in my swimming lessons when I was a toddler."

"Yeah, but this isn't the kiddie pool at the recreation center." He warned me.

I laughed. "Yeah, yeah. Less talking, more jumping." I looked out at the waves. This was starting to get exciting. "Should I go first or do you want to?"

Embry smiled as he took my hand.

"Let's jump together," he suggested.

"Okay. Cool," I said.

We paced closer to the edge. Embry took a moment to pause. I was starting to get impatient. Unbelievable. I actually _wanted_ to cliff-dive.

"Are you ready?" I questioned.

Embry grinned at me. "I was born ready." I laughed. He could be such a cornball sometimes.

"Let's do it." I smiled.

He tightened his grip around my hand. We both took a deep breath. I looked at him and smiled warmly. I felt my heart racing in my chest as we took the next step. The ground beneath me ceased to exist and before I knew it we were falling into thin air. I felt Embry squeeze my hand in excitement.

I'm not sure how long the fall was. I had focused on Embry the entire time. As the two of us were plunging downwards I felt like nothing else around us existed. It was just me and him.

Our bodies hit the water with a splash. I had done it. I had leaped into life. I let out an excited squeal, "Incredible!" Even though the water was freezing, I felt warm with Embry by my side.

"Told ya so." Embry laughed and kissed me. We started to swim towards the shore. Once we reached the bank, I shook some of the water droplets off of me. Embry put his arms around my neck and hugged me from behind. "So, what'd you think?"

I turned to face him with a huge grin on my face.

"Oh my God. That was so freaking sweet." I looked up at the cliff. "When are we going to do it again?"

He gave me a quick kiss and then laughed. "We have our whole lives…"

And I was fortunate enough to be spending it with him. Life had certainly not worked out the way that I thought it would. For God's sake, I was a bitchy hotheaded werewolf who protected vampires for one of my best friends. Twenty-one years old and I had no job, I wasn't in school, and all of my friends were monsters.

But...I was in love. I had a purpose. I knew what happiness was. Nothing else mattered.


	63. So, happily ever after isn't BS

_For all, all the times you closed your eyes  
Allowing me to stumble or to be surprised  
By life, with all its twists and turns  
I made mistakes, you always knew that I would learn  
And when I left, it's you who stayed  
You always knew that I'd come home again  
In the end, you are my one true friend  
Though love may break, it never dies  
It changes shape, through changing eyes  
What I denied, I now can see.  
You always were the light inside of me_

_"My One true friend"_

_-Bette Midler_

* * *

**Epilogue:**

**So, happily ever after isn't bullshit**

**5 Years Later:**

I did the best I could to suppress the intense rage I was feeling at the moment. I was already in a shitty mood. Add in the fact that I hadn't eaten all day, so of course, I felt like crap. I chanted in my head to stay calm. To stay cool.

_Do not lose your temper, Leah. You can't kill him. He's human._

I had gotten better at controlling my temper over the years. But every now and then it still got the better of me. And it looks like today was going to be one of those days.

"Go to hell you goddamn asshole!" I screamed at the jackass who had cut me off in his over-sized, mid-life crisis car. He'd probably only bought the damn thing because he had such a small dick.

I hated the traffic here in California. But it was a price I was willing to pay. Embry had been accepted into the University of California. I was so proud of him. When Embry first told me that he wanted to be a Veterinarian, I thought it was some kind of joke. But when I got to thinking about it, I realized that it made sense. Who better to treat an ailing dog than a werewolf? Embry surpassed all of my expectations when it came to school. He wasn't very good at English and History. But he was gifted in Math and Science like I couldn't believe. So when he finished his pre-vet courses a semester early I wasn't at all surprised. He was skeptical about the move here, but I was ready for a change of scenery. Not to mention California is a hell of a lot sunnier than Washington. No vampires. That was the selling point for me. The Realtor had looked at me like I was nuts when I got all excited about the sun and started babbling about how we wouldn't have to worry about stupid sparkly creatures bothering me.

The guy who had cut me off changed lanes. I looked over at him with the most evil look I could muster.

"That shiny car won't make up for the fact that you can't please your wife with your tiny penis!" I yelled.

I let out a sigh. There was a voice in the back of my head that scolded me.

_School teachers shouldn't say things like that._ I pushed the conscience that my mother instilled in me away quickly. _Shut the fuck up,_ I grumbled at my nicer side.

It's crazy. Out of all of the careers I could have chosen, I decided to be an elementary school teacher. Kindergarten to be exact. I wouldn't have imagined that I would be teaching the ABC's to a bunch of snot-nosed little crybabies, but here I was...one of three kindergarten teachers at a small private elementary school in Davis, California. I decided that since I wasn't going to have kids of my own, I would settle for watching twenty-five little rugrats five days a week, eight hours a day. I was certifiably insane.

In all honesty, I loved kids. Something about watching five-year-olds interacting kept me in a constant good mood. It amazed me to watch the kids explore new areas. Everything was new and exciting to them. I'm sure to see the world through their eyes was an amazing adventure. They got so excited over little things. It was really cute to watch.

And the best part about my students...they made me laugh. Constantly. Whether it was a silly little joke that they found _hugely_ hilarious:

"What do evil chickens lay?" One of the boys in my class questioned.

"I don't know, Brent. What _do_ evil chickens lay?"

I saw him bounce in excitement as he responded, "_Deviled_ eggs!"

So horribly, classically cute. The kids' ridiculously adorable behavior always put a smile on my face. I once had to talk to little Lucy Bines about bullying her classmate Ryan Alexander.

"Lucy, why did you throw a ball at Ryan's head?"

Lucy stuck her bottom lip out to pout. "We were playing "marriage," and he wouldn't listen to me! So, I called him a buttfart and then threw the ball at him." Sounded like a _real_ marriage to me.

It took every ounce of my self-control to not laugh. I had to turn my head away so she couldn't see me giggling silently to myself.

As I pulled into my driveway, I sighed happily. I had already forgotten about the jerk I'd encountered in traffic. I loved my house. Coming home to my loving husband is the thing that kept me sane when I was back at school in a room full of children hyped up on sugar and soda.

When I pulled in the garage I saw that Embry's car wasn't here. He must still be on campus.

I walked through the front door and was immediately greeted by Cooper, our Bernese Mountain Dog. At first, I had vehemently disagreed about Embry's decision to bring him home. I had been burned out on _dogs_ for a while now. But Embry told me the story about how Coop had been diagnosed with severe hip dysplasia when he was six-months-old. He'd come to the school as a stray to have surgery. Embry was in charge of his recovery. He'd gotten attached to him. He woke up one morning and told me we were going to have a dog. And even though I argued with him he brought Coop home that night. And I instantly got all sappy and decided the dog was ours. That was two years ago. It was hard not to love the goofy pup. He reminded me a lot of my old Alpha, Jacob. Right down to the stupid expressions he wore on his face all the time.

"Hey, Coop." I tossed my keys on the table in exhaustion. With all of my lesson plans and academic paperwork that I had been doing lately, I was completely worn out. I walked into my bedroom to change. Cooper walked behind me wagging his tail happily. He would follow me anywhere. _I_ was the alpha in this house. I grinned smugly.

Another one of Embry's strays was curled up on a ball on our bed. I didn't argue as much when Embry brought home Cami six months after we acquired Coop. I knew I would have to get used to him bringing home strays. He didn't have to argue with me about Cami. Cats were a lot less work than dogs. Plus, I had once told Embry that maybe I would adopt a cat. Cami didn't come with a back story. Embry just explained that she strolled up to him one day and followed him out to his car. She stood there and waited until he opened the door and she jumped in. That was the end of that. She'd owned this damn house ever since. Coop didn't cross her. She could be one mean bitch. I loved that about her.

As I changed into something more comfortable, Cami glared at me for disturbing her slumber. I laughed as I rolled my eyes at her.

"You keep staring at me like that and I'll make a phone call to some vampires I know. They don't hunt humans, but I'm sure felines are a delicacy among them." I teased my pampered cat. I never would have dreamed that I would end up with a house full of spoiled rotten four-legged creatures.

I glanced down at my answering machine and saw that there were three messages. I pressed play as I sat down on my bed.

The first one was from Seth.

"Hey, Leah, it's your favorite brother here. Just give me a call when you get this." There was a beep and it went to the next message.

"Hey, hon, just wanted to let you know I'm going to be a little late tonight. Do me a favor and wait til I get home before calling your mom. I want to wish her a happy birthday, too." I'm really glad that he'd said something. It had completely slipped my mind that today was my mom's birthday. That's what Seth must have been calling about. "Oh, and don't forget to feed Coop…" I looked down at our dog, who was laying his head in my lap and gazing up at me with his puppy dog eyes. I scoffed.

"Like he'd let me forget."

"I talked to Seth earlier today. He's interested in UC and is going to be out this way next month. But he doesn't have a place to stay. And don't be mad, but I told him he could stay with us for a while. I thought it would be nice of us to offer him a room for a bit. He can check out the campus and he's going to try and find an apartment." Embry chattered on. So, he was bringing home _another_ stray. I laughed. Seth probably wouldn't be that much work. He was pretty low-key. I'd lived with him for almost sixteen years back in La Push. A few more weeks wasn't going to kill me.

Embry ended his message with a quick "I love you" and a "don't kill me" and then it went to the next message.

"Hey, sweetie. It's your mother. Call me. I haven't talked to you in weeks. I'd like to know that my daughter is still alive out there in California…" Her message was interrupted by the ringing of the phone. I picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hi, baby!" Speak of the devil. How had my mother managed to call while I was in the middle of listening to a message from _her_?

"Hey, mom."

"I was starting to think you'd been killed by five-year-olds. Are you too busy to give your mother a call once in a while?" She laid the guilt on me.

"I'm sorry." Wow, she _still_ knew how to make me feel like shit...even out of state. That's what I called talent.

My mother laughed. "I'm just giving you a hard time. Are you guys doing okay out there?"

"We're great." I nodded. "How are things in La Push?"

"Same as always," my mother said. "Mary and Billy are dating."

"I know. Embry told me." When he found out that his mother was dating Billy Black, I was surprised at his caring reaction. He told me that he was glad that his mother had found someone. And Billy was a good guy. At least we knew she wasn't dating some manipulative asshole.

"They're getting kind of serious," Mom admitted. "He's really brought her out of her shell. Mary used to be really reserved, but now she fits right in with us."

"In other words...you've corrupted her." I teased my mom.

"You know it," she chortled. I heard Charlie in the background. My mom covered the receiver and said something back to him. Though I couldn't hear everything she said, I understood the words "bedroom" and "tonight." I curled up my lips in disgust. It didn't matter how much older I was, old people sex was _still_ gross. But they were married now so I sure as hell wasn't going to say anything about it. Whatever my mom was doing with Charlie under the sheets was fine with me. Because he'd come along and made her happy again after my dad died.

My mom giggled, giving away her giddy mood.

"I've got to run. Charlie's taking me out tonight for my birthday. I told him he didn't have to. He's already given me so much. And now he's giving me a fancy night out as well."

"I bet that's not all he's giving you," I muttered under my breath. Luckily, she didn't catch that.

"I just wanted to give you a quick call to see how you were. I love you, Leah."

"Love you, too, mom. Happy birthday," I said with a smile. "And tell Charlie I said 'hello.'"

"I will." We said our goodbyes. As I started to put the phone back on the hook, it rang again. I guess mom had forgotten to tell me something.

"You just called here old woman." I laughed. "They say that the mind is the first thing to go…"

"Who are you calling an old woman? You're starting to get a little middle-aged yourself." The voice was not that of my mother's. There was a laugh on the other end of the receiver.

"Leah Clearwater…"

I knew the voice almost immediately.

"It's Call now, actually…"

"Hmmm, go figure. I never would have guessed that _you_ would take Embry's last name." Jacob's laugh bellowed. "How've you been? It's been ages." I guess tonight was going to be the night that everyone in my past contacted me to catch up.

"Not long enough, you dirty dog." I teased him. "What have you been up to?"

"Not much."

"Still hanging with the Cullens?" I asked.

"Living with one them, actually," Jacob said. "Esme made a comfortable little cottage for me and Nessie just like she did for Bella and Edward. It's about five miles from the mansion. Bella threw a fit when we moved in together."

"You moved in together?" I was shocked.

"Yeah. Nessie's my age now. Well...physically, anyway."

"I thought it was supposed to take seven years. Isn't that what Nahuel said?"

"You know what they say...girls mature faster than boys."

"Wow." I grinned at the thought of Bella throwing tables and chairs through the mansion walls after finding out about Jacob and Nessie moving in together. "How'd Edward take it?"

"He did the whole "dad" thing. "You hurt my daughter, I'll kill you, blah, blah, blah." I just made fun of him the whole time. But when he sat down to give me "the talk" about, you know, bedroom related stuff I almost threw up in his face." He rolled his eyes. "Like I'm going to make Nessie do something she doesn't want to do," he said with a laugh. "You should see the way she suckers her dad, though. It's awesome. She just looks at him with her sad eyes and her bottom lip starts to quiver. He would do anything for her. I'm going to see if I can convince her to beg him for a flatscreen for our place. I bet if we play our cards just right we could get an entire entertainment center."

We chatted for half an hour. He updated me on everyone. I laughed my ass off when he told me that Emmett and Rosalie were in marriage counseling. I guess not even vampires are immune to marital problems. I could just imagine Blondie holding the counselor up by his throat growling, "How's _this_ for sharing my feelings you miserable whackjob? You're a quack! Where'd you get your degree? _Clown_ college?" Emmett would have to pry his wife off of the poor moron.

Everyone else was about the same. Esme had gladly offered to help decorate Jacob and Nessie's place. I'm sure that pissed Bella off. Carlisle was still practicing medicine, something I was convinced he would do for the rest of his life. It still astonished me how none of his patients found it suspicious that his hands were practically icicles. It's a good thing he wasn't a Gynecologist. That would be the most uncomfortable exam _ever._ "Oh, hi, Doctor. I'm here for my annual pap-smear and, OH! What the hell? Did you just molest me with a frozen beer bottle?"

Alice was still Alice. And Jasper still loved her because of that. I couldn't imagine those two without each other. As crazy as Alice was, Jasper needed to be there to balance her out.

Jacob moved on to the gossip in La Push. But since Embry and I had left there really wasn't much gossip. I had apparently been the town's person of interest. People love to talk about screw-ups. And now that I wasn't there anymore no one had anything interesting to talk about. Wow, I felt bad. Not that they were bored, but that _I_ was the most entertaining thing about La Push. That was sad.

"Yeah, the last interesting thing that happened was when you, Embry, and I got drunk the night before you moved away." Jacob laughed. That had been a fun night. It wasn't the "drown yourself in sorrow" alcohol party. It was a "let's celebrate and have a good time" swagger. "You know, Old Quil never did find out what we did to his boat. And I swear that his cat won't come near me anymore. She's still missing a patch of fur on her side."

"I woke up the next morning with a set of keys and to this day I still have no clue what they belong to," I said. It was nice to catch up with Jake, but something told me he had an ulterior motive for calling tonight. I sighed, "So, what peril is the world in that you're calling _me_?" I questioned.

"Now what in the world would make you assume that I'm calling to deliver _bad_ news?" Jacob faked a shocked gasp.

"Because the last time I saw you, you said, 'I'll give you a call if the world is coming to an end.'"

Coop nudged my stomach with his nose and whimpered. I got up and walked into the kitchen to fill his food bowl, but he didn't touch the food. He just walked over and sat down in front of me. What a weird dog.

"No, it's nothing like that," Jacob said. "There's no immediate danger. No evil plot to destroy the world or anything."

"Aw, that's too bad. My life's been kind of boring lately," I admitted. I never thought I would fall into the "normal" routine so easily. Every day was the same thing. I was an adult now. Freaky.

"Well, maybe I can change that." Jacob's grin came through the phone louder than his voice. "You know how Alice likes to constantly butt in where she doesn't belong?"

"Oh, God. Don't tell me she's coming here for a visit." I had accepted that the Cullens were good, but that didn't mean that I wanted to spend time with any of them.

"No. No surprise visits." Jacob shook his head. "But when I was at the house earlier, one of Alice's old friend's had dropped by to visit," he explained. "She shocked the hell out of me when I came in. She glided right over to me and introduced herself. At first I thought she was a weird midget vampire. She's short. Like, _really_ short. Even shorter than Alice, if you believe that." Wow, that _was_ short. "Her name is Josephine. She told me that Nessie had told her _all_ about me." Aw, that was cute...and it kind of made me nauseous to think about. Nessie gushing over Jacob. I grimaced. "Anyway, the girls were all carrying on and gossiping. You know, chick stuff…" Jacob said. "Nessie was talking about the battle with the Volturi…"

More like _non_ battle. There had been no fighting involved. I was still a little bitter about that. All that preparation for _nothing_. I suddenly grinned when I remembered that my pack had still gotten to rip apart Jane, Alec, and Demetri. _That_ was fun.

Jacob continued, "So, Nessie showed Josephine some images of that day. And Josephine happened to see an image of you. She was very intrigued by you…" The way he said that made me a little nervous.

"Jacob Black, if you tell me that some vampire has a lesbian lover crush on me, I will hurt you."

Jacob laughed. "No, it's nothing like that. She was just fascinated by the idea of a _female_ werewolf. So she asked Alice about where you were now. Which pissed Alice off because it reminded her that she can't _see_ us." He chuckled. Alice _had_ always been frustrated with the fact that she couldn't see our future. "But get _this_. Apparently, Josephine has the same power as Alice." He paused. "And she _can_ see us and our path…"

I could just imagine how Alice must have fumed with fury after finding out about that. "What did Alice say?"

"She was too surprised to say anything," Jacob said.

"About the fact that Josephine has the same ability as her?"

The other end of the line was silent.

"Jake, you still there?"

"First of all, let me just point out that _I_ was right…" I could still hear Jacob grinning at me. What did he have to grin about?

"Right about what?" What the hell was he talking about? I frowned. "Jacob, you better explain to me what's going on before I catch the first flight out to La Push and kick your ass."

"It's a long story."

"I've got time."

The line was silent again. He was really starting to annoy me. I guess I was going to have to wait patiently for him to tell me what was on his mind. Or I could continue to threaten violence. Either way, I was going to get the mutt to talk.

* * *

I felt like I had been waiting forever for Embry to get home from class. When he finally walked in the front door, I nearly bowled him over when I hugged him excitedly.

"Hey, babe. Sorry I'm late. Class went over today. I still don't understand why I have to take Psychology," he said.

"How was class?" I questioned.

"It was boring until I took my shirt off." Embry said that like nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

"Excuse me?" I gave him a perplexed look.

"The professor pissed me off so I decided to call him out of that closet he's been hiding in for years. Psychologists are the _worst_ at hiding their homosexuality. I have no problem with gay people, but I _hate_ shrinks. And I knew that he was gay the first day of class. I mean, his first lesson was on male homosexuality and half-way through the lecture he had to 'excuse himself to go to the bathroom.'" I saw Embry roll his eyes. "Psh, I _know_ what he was doing in the bathroom…" He prattled on. I let him. He had obviously had a long day. "Anyway, today when I tried to disagree with him on something he put me down and called me naïve and inexperienced. So, I called him an Elton John wannabe and shed my shirt just to prove a point." I would not deny that Embry had one hell of a body. That's one thing the werewolf gene was good for. "After he wiped the drool off of his chin he decided to analyze me right there on the spot." He paused. "Apparently, I'm nuts."

"Nothing we didn't already know."

"I got my point across, though. Pretty much everyone in the class is convinced that Mr. "I love to analyze everyone to death" is a complete gaywad."

"You sound frustrated." I didn't like it when Embry had a bad day. It made me want to hit things repeatedly until I could fix the situation.

"Nah. Just a little stressed. I don't understand why I even have to have psychology to graduate. It's not like I'm going to open up a Veterinary practice to help dogs and cats sort out their problems. I'm going to be stitching them up, not analyzing their feelings." He tossed his books on to the kitchen table. "I'm sorry. I haven't even been through the door five seconds and I'm rambling on about nonsense. I never even asked you how your day was." He kissed me.

I smiled. This is what I was waiting for him to ask.

"Well, school was fine. I got some interesting phone calls this afternoon. I got your message about Seth." He looked at me sheepishly. "I don't have a problem with him staying here. He's my brother." I shrugged. "As long as he doesn't bring any of his pet vampires with him he can stay as long as he wants." Seth had always been closer to the Cullens than the rest of the wolves.

"You didn't kick _me_ out when _I_ brought strays home." Embry shrugged.

"Your strays didn't crave human blood." I pointed out. He glanced at Cami as she came walking down the hallway like she owned the place.

"That we know of." He watched Cami carefully. She had always been a weird cat.

"I talked to my mom. I know you wanted me to wait until you got home, but she called me," I explained. "So I wished her a happy birthday and let her go off to have mad sex with Charlie."

"Oh, there's an image that I didn't need in my head," Embry grimaced.

I laughed. Nothing could bother me right now. Not even old people sex.

"I also got a call from Jacob…" I saw Embry smile at the memory of his best friend. We hadn't seen Jacob since we'd moved away from La Push. We talked on the phone from time to time, but other than that we never really saw him.

"How is he?" Embry questioned.

"He's still Jake," I said. "He called to catch up." I paused. "And to tell me something…interesting…"

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Apparently, Alice has a little friend who _can_ see our future…" I couldn't wait to see the look on his face when he found out. It had thrown me for a loop. Jacob thought I'd fainted. "You know, it's been two years since I last phased," I explained. Without the vampires around there was no need for me to phase anymore. And I had gotten to the point where I could actually control my temper without exploding in to fur. Instead, I usually just said a string of profanities that would probably shock a sailor.

"That's…awesome…" Embry was confused. He obviously didn't know where I was going with this conversation. That's okay, because up until Jacob had called me, I wouldn't have suspected it myself.

"Well, I didn't say anything to you at the time, but a few months ago I guess all the _non_-phasing caught up with my body. My menstrual cycle came back to visit me." I frowned a bit at the memory. I had forgotten how much cramps _hurt_. "I didn't say anything because…well, you're a guy and I know you hate that stuff. Plus, it was just the once."

"Uh huh," Embry said. "So, are you asking me to go out and buy you some Tampons or something?"

I laughed hysterically. Watching him cringe at that thought was funny to me. If he only knew that my coworkers and I called them "cottony vagina plugs."

"Oh, wait a second." An idea came to Embry. I let him think it over. "Okay, are you asking me to buy condoms?" My poor naïve husband. I just laughed. He didn't understand what I found so funny. "I mean, because we have to be…_careful_, right?"

"Too little, too late."

I watched the shock flash across his face. His jaw hit the floor when he realized what I was telling him.

"Leah, are you…" Embry looked at me with his mouth wide open.

"Yeah, and I have a bone to pick with you. How come you didn't tell me that twins ran in your family?"

"Wuh, I, uh…my mother was one. Her brother Richard died when I was younger." I don't think the news had completely set in yet. "Are you trying to tell me that we're pregnant?"

"There's no "we" in this, honey. _I'm_ the one who's going to be puking my guts out for the next several months." Why the hell had I wanted to have kids in the first place? You spend nine months eating everything in sight and then vomiting it back up. Not to mention the weight gain and the mood swings. I thought for a moment. The only thing different would be the weight gain. I don't think anyone would be able to notice a difference in my moods. I was _always_ a bitch.

"I don't…I mean, how did this happen?" he stuttered. Wow, he was even more surprised than I had been. It was really kind of adorable to watch him stutter around nervously.

"Well, when a man and a woman get together and have sex sometimes the man's sperm fertilizes the woman's egg…" I jokingly used the "birds and the bees" speech on him. It was better than a speech I'd once heard that consisted of "when two people hump, sometimes the guy knocks the girl up."

He chuckled. "I know _how_ it happens. What I mean is, what happened to you not being able to have kids?"

"You know I've never been one to follow the rules in life."

I could see that the shock on his face was slowly giving away to joy.

"Wow. Twins, huh? I'm going to be a daddy?"

"At first, Jacob kept throwing stupid puns at me that I didn't get. He apparently thought it was funny to say "I've got some news to _deliver_. No _kid_ding_._ Catch my drift, _baby_doll?" When he called me babydoll, I wanted to reach through the phone and strangle him. But he finally blurted out that I was going to be a mother. At first, I thought he was screwing with me. I half expected him to shout "April Fools!" at the end of our conversation." I laughed. "But when he didn't I about fell over from shock. Jacob thought he'd killed me with a heart attack."

"Wow, _two_ kids in one," he said with a smile. I laughed. It sounded like we were getting some kind of special on them or something.

_ "Two for one sale! Everything must go! All babies in Leah's uterus are half-off!"_

"Yep. A boy and a girl."

"Isn't it too soon to tell that?" Embry questioned.

"Apparently Josephine's visions are better than Alice's," I said. "If I had been thinking clearly, I would have had Jacob ask her for the winning lottery numbers."

"Wow, this is just…wow." Embry couldn't find his words. Well it had been better than what I said to Jacob: _"You're fucking with me, right?"_

I could see that Embry was deep in thought. This was a lot to process. I don't think I had completely processed it yet, either. I started to think about it. Holy shit. I was going to have kids. _Two_ of them. I tried not to think about what kind of child I was. I'd always heard that if you were bad a child, you were bound to end up with a kid that's ten times worse than you were. Payback's a bitch. I wondered if they would fight. I'm sure they would. They were _my_ kids. With my luck, they'd start fighting _in_ the womb.

_"Stay on __your side of the placenta!"_

_ "Hey, get your ass out of my face!"_

_ "Mooooom, she's in __MY space!"_

I looked at Embry. "What's on your mind?" I questioned. I had to wonder if he was thinking the same thing that I was.

"As crazy as it sounds, I'm already thinking of names."

"That's not crazy at all. In fact, I've already named them." I shrugged. "Embryo one and embryo two."

"I know it's kind of early to start with the names and all, but I've already got an idea for the boy."

"Oh, really?"

"I was thinking…Harold. After your dad." He suggested. "And for a middle name, I think it would make my mom happy to name him after her brother."

I put the names together in my head and frowned.

"We are _not_ naming our son Harry Dick." I frowned at Embry. "I love my father, but that's just not going to happen." I didn't want my son to get endlessly tortured on the playground. Although, being _my_ kid, I'm sure _he_ would be the one doing most of the torturing.

"Yeah, that's a good point. I didn't think about that."

That night Embry and I laid awake in bed talking about names for our future children. I just hoped that I could handle this. I had never planned on being a mother. I had gotten used to the idea that I would never be able to have kids. I recalled a conversation that Jacob and I had once had. He seemed to believe that after I stopped phasing my life would get back to normal. God damn Jacob for being right.

As I tossed in bed that night, I felt Embry's arms embracing me.

"Stop worrying. Everything is going to be just fine. You're going to be a great mother." Even after being together for so long, it still always surprised me when he read my thoughts.

I was still uncertain. "How could you possibly know that?"

"Have I ever steered you wrong?" he questioned.

I thought about it. He really hadn't. He had always had an uncanny ability to know how things were going to work out. He was just so damn talented at seeing the future. If I didn't know any better, I'd think he was collaborating with Alice Cullen…if she could see us.

Though things didn't always work out exactly like I planned, the point was, they did work out. I relaxed. If Embry wasn't worried than neither was I. There were many things in my life that I was uncertain about, but he was the one thing that I _was_ sure about. I chuckled. He had once said that to me. At the time, I had found it incredibly cheesy. But now I realized what a compliment that it was.

Embry had drifted off to sleep and was snoring lightly. I looked at him and took a moment to realize how lucky I was to be with him. I felt Coop twitching in his sleep at the foot of the bed. It's a good thing we had a King-sized bed because Coop took up half of our space.

I watched Coop chasing something in his dreams. It was probably vampires...or maybe bunnies. Either way, he was focused on catching his prey. I sighed and closed my eyes. How the hell had I gone from being an angry female werewolf to a happily married, pregnant school-teacher?

Oh, well. At least, thanks to Embry, I wasn't concerned about the future anymore. As I let my head sink in to my pillow I let out a content sigh.

Tomorrow was going to be another day. And I'd probably find a way to screw that one up, too.

But hell, at least I kept it interesting…

* * *

**Outtake time...**


	64. Outtake 1: Dear Mom

**_When Leah abandoned Sam's pack to go join her brother and Jacob she left a letter for her mother explaining the situation. This is that letter. *grins*_**

* * *

**Outtake number 1:  
**

**"Dear Mom"**

Dear Mom,

I just wanted to let you know what is going on. Seth and I might not be home for a while. I didn't want you to worry.

Seth's gone renegade. I think I'm going to follow him. Apparently, all the cool kids are doing it. I'm sure you are going to get all kinds of conflicting stories about what happened. So here it is from someone who is actually telling the truth. Jacob broke away from the pack to protect Bella _'the idiot_' Swan. He's probably just following his dick.

Seth was able to break away from the pack to help Jacob. After all, he is friends with the enemy. He wouldn't want to see his precious vampire friends hurt. Was he deprived of oxygen at childbirth? I guess they are just doing what they think is right. Can't fault them for actually caring enough about something with as much passion as they do. But I'll be honest. The only reason I'm following them is because I have to get away from Sam. Fucking Uley. That flaming pile of werewolf shit is starting to get on my nerves. After much consideration I think I'm going to help Jacob and Seth. I don't like the idea of Seth protecting vampires, but I _do_ like the idea of not having to take orders from that butt-fucking asshat Sam Uley. I'm done being his bitch.

And seeing as how the manwhore won't be able to keep his hole shut I might as well tell you everything that is going on. The reason that Jacob and Seth have rushed off to protect the bloodsuckers is because Bella is pregnant. Edward wasn't exactly "dead" everywhere. His junk still works, and somehow he was able to get a human pregnant. Guess his vampire ball-milk is still alive and kickin. So Jacob, Seth, and I are going to protect the whiny bitchy Bella and her little pussy fruit baby. Don't ask me why.

It wasn't really that hard of a decision to make. Since Sam pissed on my heart I've decided that I'd rather spend my days protecting vampires and looking after Seth. I know you can't get too angry with me for wanting to make sure he stays safe during this fucked up soap opera plot. I promise you that I'll make sure the leech-loving idiot gets home unharmed. I'm not concerned about us having to fight Sam's pack. Sam's a total pussy now that Jake has claimed his rightful place as an Alpha. Seeing the overgrown mutt go belly-up was priceless. But even though I know he doesn't want to fight Jake, Sam is still adamant about destroying the unborn little tick in Bella's fucked-up uterus.

Sam wants to get all "pro-choice" on the little crotch rot. He's probably just pissed that he and Emily aren't the first couple in town having a mutant demon offspring. He might be right about the parasitic mutant that Bella is carrying, but I think it's stupid to attack the Cullens now...especially when they're probably just going to pick up and move sometime in the near future. God, that will be my favorite day ever. Sam's just overreacting. You and the council should seriously put the guy on Xanax or something.

All of this is probably going to get blown way out of proportion. I just want you to know that it's really not as bad as everyone is making it out to be. Bella is just being a dumbass and bringing another little dumbass into the world. And Sam will get over it. The way everyone is acting is _exactly_ why I believe in spaying and neutering your pets…and annoying vampires. If you ask me...they're all idiots. God, I fucking hate people.

I apologize for my irritable mood. Sam was a dick tonight after Jake and Seth took off. But I knew that if I didn't let you know what was going on that you would kick my ass. I figured you would rather have a profanity filled letter than nothing at all. Damn you for raising me right.

I really don't want you to be concerned about me and Seth. I'm sure everything will work itself out. In the meantime just have a blast with Charlie, and don't let Billy give you any shit.

I love you,

Leah

PS: If Sam comes to bother you about Seth or me feel free to give him this letter.


	65. Outtake 2: Drinking to numb the pain

**Disclaimer: In no way do I condone the use of alcohol or drugs of any kind, especially when trying to deal with your problems. When faced with a problem in life it is unwise to try and drink it away. I personally believe that alcohol is evil, not to say that I haven't used it in the past, but I do not drink it at all anymore. End of preachy speech.**

**That being said, watching other people get trashed and do stupid shit can be hilarious. These outtakes probably would not exist if not for my hard-partying friends. Thanks for making jackasses of yourselves guys. I'm sorry to say that a lot of the stuff that happens in this outtake has actually happened in real life.**

* * *

_**Originally, I thought about starting the story "The Dawn Was Already Broken" near the end of "Eclipse" instead of the beginning of "Breaking Dawn". But the chapter itself read too much like an outtake. It's set about two weeks after Jacob was hurt in the battle with the newborns. Watch what fun ensues when Jacob and Leah royally mess up cat-sitting Old Quil's cat.**_

* * *

**Outtake Number 2**:

**"Let's Drink til we can't feel our feelings anymore"**

Tonight was really shaping up to be a nice night. I had just finished a nice long jog on two feet. I had been trying not to think about Sam and Emily's upcoming engagement party. As I was jogging by Old Quil's place, I noticed Jacob hobbling towards the front door on crutches. He was trying to balance a bag of cat food while opening the front door. I watched in amusement as he stumbled around.

"Come on…" He fought with the key. I walked up behind him quietly.

"Having fun?" I questioned as I crossed my arms across my chest.

Apparently, I'd startled him.

"Aw, hell," he snarled as he dropped the keys and then the cat food. He turned around to look at me. Man, if looks could kill…

"You just going to stand there or are you going to help me out here?" Jacob snapped.

"I think I'm just going to stand here," I responded. "What's with the crutches?" I questioned.

He should have been completely healed from the newborn attack. It had been nearly two weeks since we had formed an alliance with the vampires across from our land to fight an army of moronic newborn leeches that were after Bella Swan. I personally didn't understand why we were protecting her. I hated her and didn't really care what happened to her.

"Stupid props." He grumbled something about his dad having a big mouth and explained that it had to do with keeping up appearances with Charlie. Billy had apparently told Charlie that Jacob had been injured while riding his motorcycle. "My dad must have decided it would be funny as hell to see me fall on my ass using these things for the next six weeks anytime I'm out in public…just in case Charlie happens to see me."

I looked around. "I don't see Charlie anywhere." I pointed out.

"He was at your mom's place when I stopped by to get the keys to Old Quil's place. He gave me a ride out here."

"Uh huh. And are you moving in with Old Quil or something?" I couldn't figure out what Jake was doing out here.

"I'm taking care of his cat while he's out of town," Jacob explained. That explained the cat food.

"Why is Quil not taking care of his Grandfather's cat?" I questioned.

"He's allergic," Jacob said. "So my father volunteered me to watch the stupid thing." He frowned. "Old Quil gave the keys to your mother the other night at the bonfire so she could give them to me. I just wish I hadn't gone over to your place when Charlie was there. I was just going to ditch the crutches in the woods and run out here but Charlie _insisted_ on driving me here. He was going to wait, but I told him I had a ride home."

"Wow. Being stuck in the car with Chief Swan? That sounds like hell."

"Add in the fact that his daughter completely rejected me to be with a vampire that Charlie knows nothing about and it was the best car-ride ever." Jacob rolled his eyes.

He had the keys in his hands again. He unlocked the door and kicked the bag of food inside. I followed him.

Jacob threw the crutches aside.

"I really wish that my dad had come up with a better story than the stupid motorcycle accident. Now Charlie thinks I'm a complete klutz."

"Just like his moronic daughter."

"Watch it," Jacob snapped. "Don't talk about Bella like that."

He was _still_ defending her even after she'd broken his heart? Unbelievable. What did he see in the whiny little runt anyway?

"She's a selfish asswipe, Jake. Why do you even care about her? She chose the bloodsuckers over you."

He had several reasons to hate her. So why didn't he?

"Because I love her." What a stupid reason to care about someone. "And she's my friend no matter what."

She sure had a funny way of showing it.

"Friends?" I scoffed.

"You and Sam are still friends."

I laughed caustically. "I called him a cocksucking motherfucking cuntlicker today."

"Jesus Christ, Leah. Where the hell do you come up with that shit?" Jacob gasped.

"I dunno. Cable television?" I really didn't know where my foul mouth had come from. I just woke up one day saying a bunch of crap.

"Yeah, right," Jacob snorted. "I bet the censors would have a field day with you."

"The censors can lick my salty taint."

Jacob's jaw had dropped in shock. I got that look a lot. I was always saying something to horrify people. I just didn't give a rats ass what people thought of me anymore. I was pissed at life so those around me were damn sure going to hear about it.

Old Quil's cat scurried into the room. The thing looked as old...if not older...than Old Quil.

Jacob gasped, "Shit. Leah, shut the door."

But it was too late. The ratty old cat scampered out the door and ran across the yard.

"Crap. She's not supposed to go outside." Jacob frowned. He raced out the front door after the cat and started calling after her, "Here, kitty! Come on…"

"Like a cat is going to come to a _dog_," I muttered under my breath.

"Did you see where she went?" Jacob questioned.

"If she's smart...as far away from here as possible," I grumbled. "Just crack a window and leave out some cat food," I suggested.

"If I do that then when I come back tomorrow his house will be filled with twenty stray cats." Jacob frowned at me. "I just have to wait until she comes back."

"It's a _cat_, Jacob."

"Yeah, Old Quil's cat." He pointed out.

He had a point. If the old man came back and found out that Jacob had lost his cat he would beat the crap out of Jake with his cane.

Jacob looked around the yard and there was no sign of the cat. He grumbled something to himself as he walked back in the house.

"How could my life get any worse?" he snapped.

I glanced down at the bag of cat food sitting at my feet. He wanted to know how it could get worse? I could make it worse. People really shouldn't say that kind of stuff around me. I took it as a challenge.

Jokingly, I picked up the bag of cat food and tossed it at him. It hit his shins.

"Ow! Leah, what the hell!"

"You wanted to know how it could get worse."

"God, you're such a bitch sometimes." He frowned. "Why would you throw pussy chow at me?"

"Cause you're a pussy…" He walked right in to that one.

"Whatever."

"Come on, I was just trying to take your mind off of things." I smiled.

"The only thing that's going to keep my mind off of the worthless pile of shit that is my life is Old Quil's stash of booze." Jacob walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels and Grey Goose Vodka.

"Wow. The old man's a drunk." I noticed how much alcohol he had stashed away.

"Since I'm stuck here waiting on the cat to come back I might as well let loose a little." Jacob opened the bottle of Jack Daniels.

"What do you think you're doing?" I questioned.

"Making a drink. What does it look like?"

"So this is how you're going to get over Bella? Becoming a drunk?"

"Yeah, wanna join me?"

"You want me to get sloshed with you?" I was surprised.

"You're here." He shrugged. "Why not?"

"Are you joking? Jacob, you're sixteen." I frowned at him disapprovingly.

"How old were you when you first started sneaking alcohol?" he asked me suspiciously.

Shit, I couldn't answer that. If Jacob found out that I started stealing my parents liquor when I was thirteen he'd never let me hear the end of it.

"Uh, I don't drink…ever." I sucked at lying.

Jacob lowered his eyes at me as if to say "Yeah, right" and then poured a shot of Jack Daniels.

"Come on, Jake, you're not one to indulge in alcohol. You've always been such a good kid." I had never seen Jacob acting this way before.

"And look where that's gotten me," Jacob said with a frown. "I'm alone, heartbroken, and miserable."

"Aw, kid...things can't be that bad. Why don't you go hang with Quil and Embry?" I walked over to the glass of alcohol and slid it away from him. I understood why he wanted to drink to forget his pain, but I didn't want him to do something he was going to regret later.

"Because Sam's being a dick and running them like crazy," Jacob explained.

"So go run with them," I suggested.

"Screw that." Jacob shook his head. "Why should I work my ass off for Sam Uley?"

He had a point there. I hated that I was under Sam's command. It sucked.

"Maybe you and I could go do something," I offered. "We could go throw rocks at Sam's car. It'll be fun!"

Jacob shook his head. "Nah."

I could tell that he was in a really bad place right now but I still didn't think that drinking was going to make him any happier. I might as well act like an adult for once.

"Jacob, drinking isn't going to solve your problems with Bella. Getting plastered doesn't help you escape from your issues. Trust me, I know." I frowned. "You start turning to alcohol now and by the time you're thirty you'll be a homeless guy sitting outside a bus station rambling on about the coming apocalypse and giving handjobs in the bathroom for spare cash."

"Won't happen. Cuz I'm going to be freaking stuck at sixteen forever."

I sighed. I had done everything I could think of to be responsible. I told him not to do it. I warned him of the dangers this could lead to. I suggested alternatives. I even offered to be nice to him. Now there was only one thing left for me to do: Sit back and get drunk with him.

I'm not sure how much time had passed, but after a while Jacob and I were plastered off of our asses and laughing at the weather channel.

"Ah, man, I never realized that weather could be so funny." I chuckled. I looked over at Jacob, who was curiously examining an empty bottle.

"Ta—kee-la…" Jacob laughed loudly. "I love it. It's such an amazing word. And it sounds so…tropical…"

I snorted, "Jacob, you're drunk…"

"Just a little," he admitted. He became silent and his face got serious. "Did the cat ever come back?"

I thought for a moment.

"What cat?"

Jacob's serious face gave way to his uncontrollable laughter.

It took a second for my brain to register that we were originally here to take care of a cat. I looked around and saw that there was no cat. We were doing a crappy job.

"Wow. Old Quil is going to be pissed."

"No, he won't." Jacob shook his head. "I just realized something." He nodded. "None of this can be real."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, if my calculations are correct...I am drunk. So I don't think we're really here…" Jacob babbled on nonsensically.

"So?"

"So this is just a figment of my imagination. A concoctment created that my subconscious has decided to take in corporeal form that will inevitably disappear when my buzz wears off."

"You have had _way_ too much to drink."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

"I'm always right."

"And you constantly remind me of that," Jacob grumbled.

"The truth hurts." I yawned. "You think I say all those nasty things about Bella just because I hate her?"

I kind of did. But there was a reason behind all my hostility for the vampire whore. She was always going to treat Jacob like shit and he would never be able to see that himself. So he was going to spend the rest of his life letting her use him for her own personal gain. Damn harpy.

"You need to get over her, kid. She's only going to cause you more heartbreak."

"You're just bitter about Sam," he grumbled at me.

"Well, yeah. Duh." I wasn't going to deny that. "We've both been screwed over big time. We're in the same boat. Both of us just need to stop being repressed crybabies and get the hell on with our lives."

"Tried that. Didn't work."

I glared at him.

"What do you want from me, Leah?" he questioned.

I thought for a moment. What did Jacob Black have that I wanted? I couldn't answer that. The only thing that he had that I didn't was a dick.

I chuckled out my response, "I want you to make mad passionate love to me right here on this couch." Even though I was joking that still felt weird to say. Wow, how freaking toasted was I?

His face got serious. I busted into a string of endless chuckles.

"Dude, I'm so messing with you."

Relief washed across his face. I had to say that even though I was joking, it hurt my ego a little that Jacob found me so repulsive. My inner-monologue of self-doubt was interrupted by the phone. Jacob leaned over and picked it up. Never mind the fact that this wasn't his house.

"Hello?" He leaned forward and shook his head. I guess his buzz was starting to make him dizzy. "Yeah," he answered a questioned. "Huh? No. I'm babysitting Old Quil's cat." He paused. "Yeah, I lost her," he admitted. "So now I'm just waiting for her to come back home." I could see that something was irritating him. I wondered who was on the phone. "Nah, man. Embry and Quil have it under control. I think Seth even said something about running with them later."

It had to be Sam. I frowned. He was probably bitching at Jacob for not running the perimeters. He was probably pissed that I never showed up either.

"Actually, she's with me," Jacob responded to something Sam said.

I grumbled to myself in thought, _Great. Thanks for ratting me out, Jacob._

I thought Sam would be pissed but he apparently wasn't. Jacob faced me.

"Sam says hi. He wants to know when you're going to phase again."

"Tell Sam he can shove a dildo in his ass for all I care."

"She says hello, too. She's not sure when she'll phase back." He censored my response. There was a pause as Sam told Jacob something and then Jacob said "okay" and "goodbye."

"What was that all about?" I questioned as he hung up.

"He was just checking in." Jacob stood up. "He figured he would catch me here." He stretched and glanced around the living room. "We should probably go find the cat."

I grunted. I knew he was right. It was getting dark outside and the poor cat never spent any time outdoors. It would be a frozen pile of fur by tomorrow morning.

"My legs are tired. I've done a lot of running lately." I got to my feet as well.

I saw Jacob glanced out the window and smile. "I've got an idea."

The next thing I knew I was following Jacob across to Old Quil's neighbor's garage. We snuck in.

"What are we doing here?" I asked quietly.

"You said you were tired. And we've got a lot of ground to cover looking for the cat. I'm here for a set of wheels."

"Okay, I'm not drunk enough to steal a car." I rolled my eyes. "That's just stupid."

Jacob shook his head and pointed to something behind the car. "Ever ridden a lawnmower down a big hill?"

I looked at him like he was nuts. "Are you insane?"

"It's a blast." Jacob slunk over to the riding lawnmower. He searched around for the keys and let out an enthusiastic cheer when he found them.

"This is crazy. What if we get caught?" I questioned. I paused to think about that. Since when did I give a rats ass about getting in trouble? I was the _definition_ of trouble.

Jacob didn't really have a good argument. He just shrugged and egged me on.

"Come on. It's fun. I promise."

Well, that was a convincing enough argument for me. I was drunk. It wasn't going to be that hard to convince me to do anything.

"Why do I let you talk me in to these things?" I rolled my eyes.

We pushed the lawnmower out of the garage and a few hundred feet away from the house. When Jacob started it I heard the slamming of a door behind us. Crap, someone had heard us.

"Quick, get on!" Jacob leaped into the seat. I was quick to follow. I noticed an old man, probably around Old Quil's age, racing towards us with a large stick in one hand and a shoe in the other. His tiny little ankle-biter dog was right behind him yipping like crazy.

But it was too late. Jacob hit the gas. The little lawnmower had more power behind it than I realized. We went sailing across the yard.

"You little shits get back here with my lawnmower!"

Jacob and I were in hysterics as we pulled out of the old man's sight. I think he threw the shoe at us. He missed.

Jacob was right. This was fun as hell. We spent at least half an hour joyriding on the lawnmower and looking for Old Quil's cat.

"You see anything?" Jacob asked over the roar of the engine.

I looked around and to my surprise spotted something perched above a street sign. I pointed him in the right direction. At first it looked like a mutated squirrel, but as we got closer I realized that it was a cat.

Jacob turned the engine off and we walked over to the terrified cat.

"How the hell did she get up there?" Jacob was impressed.

The cat had managed to get on top of a street sign. Even more astonishing...she was balancing on the edge of it with no problem.

Jacob was able to coax the cat down.

"Holy crap." Something amused him. I looked to him for an explanation. He busted into laughter, scaring the kitty in his arms.

"What's so funny?" I questioned.

Jacob pointed to the sign. I knew where were. Coho Drive. But when I looked up I noticed that half of the street sign was missing and the half that was left read "Ho Drive."

"Oh, I so have to have that." Jacob laughed. "Here. Hold her." He practically threw the cat at me. She growled in my arms.

"Shut up you crotchety old bitch," I mumbled under my breath.

I watched as Jacob loosened the sign and pulled it down. There was something exciting about this. It was so juvenile, but it was fun because I was still buzzed.

"Heh, check it out, Leah." Jacob snickered as he proudly showed me his new toy.

I rolled my eyes. "You're _such_ a bad boy."

But I couldn't help but laugh as we made our way back to Old Quil's house. I wasn't expecting Jacob to get lost on the way back. I was just focusing on not being torn to shreds by a freaked out cat.

"Do you know where you're going?" I questioned.

"Psh, I'm a werewolf. I have a sixth sense. And right now that sense is telling me…" He looked around, "...that I don't know where the hell we are."

"Maybe you should slow down," I suggested. We were picking up speed going down a hill.

"Uh, slight problem…" Jacob glanced at the gears. Apparently they were stuck. He started wresting with the lawnmower to try and get it to stop.

"Bigger problem." I realized that we were headed straight for the river.

"Oh, shit!" Jacob couldn't get the lawnmower to stop.

It was at this point that the cat started digging her little nails into my back trying to escape what lay ahead of us.

Jacob and I looked at each other as the lawnmower flew towards the river.

"Jump!" he exclaimed.

Just as the front end sunk into the bank and slammed into the river, Jacob and I leaped off of it. We landed in the muddy water just beside the river. The cat was pissed. She looked like a dirty sewer rat.

"You okay?" Jacob questioned.

I rolled over and stared at him for a minute before I busted into laughter. "That was kind of fun."

He stood up and dusted himself off. He was covered in mud. I was, too.

"Yeah, it kind of was."

We stared at the lawnmower stuck in the water. After a while we decided that it was a lost cause and headed back to Old Quil's place with the cat and Jacob's little street sign in tow.

I'm sure I looked like hell, but I really didn't care because tonight had been more fun than I thought it would be.

"You know, this really was fun," he admitted. "Why don't we hang out more often?"

"Because we can't stand each others company unless we're drunk," I responded truthfully.

We reached Old Quil's front door. The cat was almost ready to claw me to death to get back inside. I guess she hadn't had as much fun as Jacob and I.

I heard a noise in the bushes next to the house and took a few steps back. Guess our fun night wasn't over. Something was stalking us. Jacob opened the front door just as the creature leaped out of the bushes on top of him.

"Ah! Get it off!" Jacob exclaimed like a little girl.

Instead of helping him I laughed my ass off because the creature that was attacking him was all of five pounds. It was the little Chihuahua that we had seen when we were stealing the lawnmower earlier.

"Hit him with the ho!" Jacob exclaimed.

I was confused. Had I heard that right?

"Are you calling the cat a ho?" I questioned.

"The street sign." Jacob rolled his eyes.

He pointed to the street sign he'd stolen earlier. I picked it up and swung at the dog. The little sucker was fast. I completely missed him, but I managed to smack Jacob in the knee.

"Damn it!" Jacob yelled.

"Oops." I didn't feel as remorseful as I thought I should. Oh, well.

The dog latched on to his ankle. He tried to shake it off but the little monster had a hell of a grip. Jacob reached inside the door to where he'd stashed his crutches.

"Get off of me."

He swung the crutch at the little demon dog. He missed and stumbled over and fell to the ground. The dog grabbed on to Jake's arm and started tugging roughly on it. Even though it would heal, it hard to hurt like hell to have all those tiny little teeth piercing his skin.

"Come on, cut it out…stupid dog."

Jacob pushed the dog off of him. He stood back up and faced me. I, of course, was still laughing my ass off.

"I thought dog fighting was illegal."

"You aren't helping matters, Leah," he grumbled.

"Why would I help you? This is hilarious!"

"This thing's a freaking piranha." He tried to pry the dog off of his leg once more.

"Oh, come on, he's the size of your little finger." I chuckled. "Kick the damn thing like a football!"

The dog let Jacob go and turned its attention to me. He spotted the cat.

"Oh, hell." I frowned.

The dog came running towards me snapping and jumping up trying to get to Old Quil's cat. Personally, I would put my money of the cat. It was about three times bigger than this little runt. And she was a mean old shit, too.

Fortunately, a noise from behind us startled the little land-shark. It let out a yelp as it tucked its tail and ran the other way.

I started to laugh. "Yeah! You better run! This cat would kick your ass!" I noticed that Jacob wasn't joining in in the laughter.

"Aw, crap…" Jacob frowned.

Charlie's car pulled around the corner. I quickly tossed the cat inside. Jacob hobbled up to shut the front door. He leaned against the crutch and we looked nervously at Charlie.

He glared at us from behind the wheel.

"Do you think he knows about the lawnmower?" Jacob asked quietly.

Charlie sure as hell didn't look happy. I was guessing that Jacob and I were busted.

Neither of us said a word as he slowly walked towards us. He stopped in front of us. I'm sure he was taking in our ragged appearance.

"Heh, hi, Charlie. Lovely evening, isn't it?" Jacob asked nervously. "What brings you back out this way? Leah and I were just leaving…not doing anything that we shouldn't be doing. Certainly not pulling any shenanigans or anything."

"Shut up, you idiot," I mumbled under my breath.

"You kids have a lot of explaining to do." Charlie frowned at us.

I looked at Jacob and he glared back. I had a feeling our truce for the night was over.

"It's all her fault," Jacob said.

"It's his fault!" I disagreed. I frowned. "How is it _my_ fault?"

"You left the door open for the cat to get out."

"You're the one who turned into a boozehound."

"Well, you shirked your responsibilities with…" Jacob had to think about what he was going to say carefully. Charlie didn't know about the werewolves. I grinned smugly at Jake. "You abandoned Sam when he was asking for your help."

My smug grin faded. That sounded really shitty. I would have rather he'd said "You ignored Sam's orders and abandoned the pack tonight." But he couldn't. Not with Charlie around.

I frowned at him and pointed, "Lawnmower."

I didn't have to say another word. Charlie shoved us in the back of his car to take us home...or I had to assume that's where he was taking us.

Jacob whimpered quietly, "I don't want to go to prison. I don't want to become somebody's bitch."

He already _was_ someone's bitch. Bella Swan owned his ass.

I shrugged. I wasn't worried. If I got in trouble it wouldn't be a big deal. I'd been a trouble maker all my life, so there was pretty much no situation that I couldn't handle the outcome of. But sitting here in Charlie's cruiser tonight...wasted out of my brain and listening to him lecture us about teenage safety and…God knows what else...I wasn't really paying attention, I started to think about how pissed my mom was going to be that I'd done this. My mom was not fun to be around when she was pissed.

By the time we pulled into my driveway the nerves had set in. I glanced at my house and then back to Charlie.

"Could you take me to prison, please?" I didn't want to feel my mother's wrath.

He just grinned at me and forced me out of his car. I waved goodbye to Jacob. I guess Charlie was taking him home next.

I stared at my front porch for a minute before I shuffled forward to the door. I put my hand on the handle and let out a sigh. I took a moment to pause and recall the fun events that had happened tonight. I was going to have to hold on to those memories for a while, as I'm sure that my mom wouldn't be letting me do anything even remotely fun for a while.

I left my freedom behind me as I shut the front door to my house.


	66. Outtake 3: Naked in a cornfield

**Disclaimer:** **Drinking is bad. Blah, blah, blah. Don't do it. Yada, yada, yada.**

* * *

**_Leah has had a bad couple of days so she decides that maybe a little alcohol would ease her pain..._**

**_It doesn't._**

* * *

******Outtake Number 3:**

**"Shut the hell up brain before I pound you with Tequila"  
**

Two days after Jacob and I had gotten tipsy and stolen a lawnmower we were sitting around and bitching about our lives. Actually, I was sitting there listen to him whine about _his_ life. I think he probably would have been happier alone, but I didn't have anywhere else to be. I'd snuck out of the house. I'm sure my mother would be pissed when she pried her way into my room only to find out that I wasn't moping in bed like she thought I was.

"I know what you're going through." That was probably the most generic thing I could say.

Jacob frowned at me and replied sarcastically, "Oh, really?"

Truth was, I did. I knew all too well how he was feeling. Sharing his thoughts was more depressing than having an all-day marathon of watching tearjerker movies with my mother.

"How could you possibly know what I'm going through?" he snarled.

Well, for one thing we shared the same thoughts. When he hurt, _I_ hurt. I was used to hurting so it wasn't that big of a deal. But I could also relate to the situation...loving someone you could never have. Giving your heart to someone and never getting it back.

"Jake, I _am_ you." I paused. "Only I actually have balls…"

"Why are you here, Leah?" Jacob complained about my presence.

I was used to not being wanted. Hell, my boyfriend left me for my cousin and now I was going to an engagement party for them this afternoon. _That's_ why I was sitting here with Jacob. I was stalling. Because I didn't feel like dealing with Sam and Emily's love.

"Because…" I wasn't going to share the real reason with him, "...I've got nothing better to do."

Jacob heaved a sigh, "This blows." He frowned. "I used to think you were a bitch for no reason."

"Gee, thanks." I wasn't sure what to make of that comment.

"But I get what you're so pissed about now. I mean, she chose him? _Really_? Why? What does he have that I don't?" He was whining about Bella and Edward again.

"I dunno. Pale skin?" I guessed.

Jacob glared at me.

I wouldn't lie. The situation did suck for him. He'd been there for Bella in her darkest time only to be completely abandoned by her when her worthless vampire lover returned. She basically just used Jacob and then tossed him aside.

"It really pisses me off, because vampires shouldn't get to have better lives than we do. But they get to have their stupid happy ending. I've spent my entire life just trying to be a good person. I showed love to her that I never got back. I was there. I never abandoned her. The vampire did. I'm the good guy here but the leech is the one that got the happy ending? In what world is it fair that the bad guys get their happy ending while the only one who actually deserves to be happy is alone and in agonizing pain?"

"The real world." It had happened to me, too. I wasn't the perfect person. I never claimed to be a saint, but I had a good heart. And it had been repeatedly stomped on. Jacob was right. This wasn't fair. Why did the murderous blood-drinkers get to be happy?

I huffed. This was stupid. We were sitting here at the edge of a cliff moaning about how unfair our lives were.

"Jacob, do you think this is going to take much longer?"

I was getting impatient. I don't know why. It's not like I had anywhere else to be. I sure as hell wasn't looking forward to Emily's bridal shower today.

"Jump off a cliff, Leah," he snarled hatefully at me.

_Fuck you, too, asshole._ I managed not to say that out loud.

I knew he was hurting. Despite how much the kid annoyed me, I couldn't help but sympathize. I could feel his pain. I knew how much it hurt to have someone you love leave you.

"I feel for you, kid. I really do. You have no idea how hard this is for me." I hated to see him in the same pain that I was in. It flat out sucked.

He scoffed, "For _you_?" It was then that I realized that my words had come out wrong. Of course they had. I was a fucking moron sometimes. I didn't mean to make Jacob feel like I was trying to make this about me. I wasn't. But he took it that way anyway. "You've got to be the most self-absorbed person alive, Leah. I hate to shatter the dream world you live in, but the sun doesn't orbit around you. I don't care about your problems. Go. Away."

I tried not to let him see that that kind of stung me. Maybe if I could get him to understand where I was coming from he'd stop being such a baby. He glared at me. It reminded me of the way that Sam used to look at me when we were fighting.

I tried not to let Jacob get to me as I explained why I couldn't stand seeing him this way. I really felt for him, whether or not my thoughts showed it.

"Hell, I don't even _like_ Bella Swan and you've got me grieving over this leech-lover like I'm fucking in love with her, too. Can you see where that might be a little confusing to me?" I cringed when I thought about the dream that I'd had last night in which Bella and I had shared a kiss. I woke up screaming and covered in sweat. "I dreamed about kissing her last night. What the hell am I supposed to do with _that_?"

"Make a low budget adult film out of it."

Jacob obviously didn't care. I had to get the mutt to feel _something_ other than pain. I didn't like to see him hurting. I'd rather see him pissed. I grinned to myself with an evil plan.

"You know, the leech will probably just kill her anyway. All the stories say that happens more often than not." I would love to go to Bella's funeral. I'd skip right up to her casket and laugh at the whiny whore, _Ha, ha. You're dead._ "Maybe a funeral would be better closure than a wedding."

I saw Jacob tremble in anger. Good, my plan was working. As long as he was pissed at me he wasn't hurting over Bella. At least, for the moment. I didn't mind being the scapegoat. Hell, people expected it from me. And I _was_ a bitch. I glanced at Jacob's trembling hands.

_Come on, Jake, stay pissed. Anger works better to your advantage,_ I thought to myself.

He snapped his head around at me and snarled, "You know, if you're upset about gender confusion, Leah, how do you think the rest of us like looking at Sam through _your_ eyes?" Shit. Well, I'd dug my own grave here. I guess Jacob was going to play dirty today. He was going to hit below the belt. "It's bad enough that Emily has to deal with _your_ fixation. She doesn't need us guys panting after him, too."

I knew it was coming, but it still hurt when he said it. Anything regarding Sam and Emily was always going to be painful for me. I angrily thought about this stupid engagement party-slash-bridal-shower I had to go to today. It was going to suck. My vision turned red. Damn it. Jacob had won this round. I had to get out of here. I was getting ready to phase. I saw Jacob grinning to himself.

_Yeah, keep smiling, you goddamn asshole. Just you wait until Edward and Bella walk down the aisle._

I spit at Jacob as I tore past him.

"You missed." Jacob laughed.

After running my anger off I had to go straight home. Mom had ordered Seth to find me so we could go to Sam and Emily's house. I didn't say much on the way over. As all of the other women chatted happily about garters and shit I just sat around uncomfortably. Occasionally, Emily would ask me my opinion on a dress in a magazine.

"What do you think of this one?" The question got old after a while.

"Fine." _Ugly._

"This one?"

"Nice." _It sucks._

"Oh, how about this one?"

"Cool." _It blows._

"Check out the ruffles on that one…"

"Yeah." _Fuck it. I don't care._

About halfway through the party I feigned having a headache and told the girls I needed to go home. Everyone bought it. Except, of course, mom. But she didn't say anything. She just glared at me. She could yell at me later.

On my way home I was fortunate enough to stumble across a party being thrown by some guy who had lots of alcohol. My day had been really crappy. Cutting loose by downing a few shots wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

"You want a beer?" A handsome guy offered me some piss-water.

I grinned at him. "Got any liquor?"

He smiled back at me.

"Ah, a _real_ woman. I like it." He put his beer down. I followed him to the harder stuff. The rest was ancient history.

I'm not sure what I was drinking after a while. Someone would just hand me a shot and I'd knock it down with no problem. We gathered on the front porch to discuss our troubles.

"You see what I'm saying here? It doesn't matter what you do in life. Because life is shit, my friends. You should get used to it. You work and you work at building friendships and relationships only to be sorely disappointed when they don't work out. Life just sucks." I didn't know who the hell I was talking to. Some terrified sixteen-year-old was staring at me like I'd lost my mind.

I'm not even sure whose party this was. I just knew that I wanted to get completely and utterly plastered. I'd had a shitty day. I looked around. The group of teenagers that shouldn't have been drinking in the first place had grown silent. Their eyes were on me.

"What the hell are you looking at you little Emo brat?" I questioned the angry kid dressed in all black sitting next to me. He continued to stare at me without saying anything. "What's the matter? Did you get depressed and slice your tongue off or something?" I laughed and pushed the kid playfully to let him know that I was just messing with him. "Ah, I'm just screwing with you, kid. Hey, how about another round of Tequila?"

"Dude, I think she's had enough," the emo kid whispered to his friend.

"Hey, I'll tell you when I've had enough!" I snarled at the kid.

What the hell did he know? He didn't look a day past fifteen. It was punks like him that reminded me how great of a little brother I really did have. Seth pretty much stayed out of trouble. Not like this rotten little brat. What the hell was I doing hanging out here? I decided that it was probably time to go.

"Hey, screw you. I'm calling the cops to break this little kiddie parade up." I laughed as I stumbled off the porch.

As I made my way away from the house I realized that the sun had set.

"Wow, when did the moon come out?" I stared drunkenly at the sky. I started to get motion sickness watching all the stars twirling around in my half-baked mind. It was kind of trippy.

There was a low howl that came from the west. It sounded like Embry. Damn, I forgot that I was supposed to switch off running perimeters with him tonight. I jogged towards the woods where I could phase without being seen by the group of kids. This would be interesting. I had never tried to phase when I was drunk before. I nearly ran into a tree as I stripped out of my shirt. I tossed my clothes on the ground. I had forgotten a bungee cord to tie my outfit to my ankle.

"Ah, who cares? The entire pack has seen me naked before, anyway." I threw my pants on the ground.

As I let the rush of heat overcome me my legs stumbled beneath me. Now instead of running drunk on two legs...I was running on four. Fan-freaking-tastic.

_About time,_ Embry grumbled. _You were supposed to take over an hour ago._

It didn't take me long to bust my ass. I tripped over my feet and landed nose first in a pile of dirt.

_God damn mother fucking son of a British whore,_ I grumbled to myself. I stood up and shook it off. I had to play it cool. I'm sure the buzz would wear off shortly.

_Geeze, Leah, why don't you add a little more profanity in there_? Embry asked sarcastically.

_I __like__ profanity. It helps to convey that I'm…uh…that word…the opposite of happy?_ All the alcohol was really starting to affect my brain.

_Sad_? Embry guessed. He still hadn't caught on to the fact that my blood-alcohol level was probably at like .15 right now.

_No…_ I snorted out laughter. _What the hell would I have to be __sad__ about? I mean, it's not like I have to watch the man of my dreams get married to one of my best friends..._ Even though I knew that statement should make me feel incredibly heartbroken I couldn't stop the manic laughing in my head.

_You're drunk._ He finally caught on to what was going on.

I laughed.

_Shut up. YOU'RE__ drunk._ I continued to snort out laughter. That didn't even make any sense. Eh, who cares?

Normally I wasn't one to indulge in underage drinking but I'd had a tough week. It started out with the six month anniversary of the death of my father. Having to relive the day that he died was always hard for me. Then Jacob freaked out and acted like an ass. And after that I had to sit through that damn engagement party for Emily and Sam. I'd spent the entire party doing my best not to shove the knitting needles my mother had bought for Emily into my head. Add in the fact that two days ago I had found out that I hadn't gotten a job I had been counting on out in Seattle. That was supposed to be my ticket out of this hellhole. This was just a really bad day for me.

_You're lucky Sam isn't running tonight. He'd be pissed._

_Yeah, well, Sam deserves to be pissed for walking out on someone as good as me. He doesn't even know what he's missing out on._ I slurred my speech.

_You can't patrol like this_. Embry frowned. _Go home, Leah. I'll cover for you._

_Aw, thanks, Embry. You're a pal. My best friend. I love you, man. _ I paused to think about the words that had just come out of my mouth, _You're right, I __AM__ drunk._ I snorted the laughter out through my nose again.

_How much did you drink?_ Embry exclaimed.

_A little bit. I…I didn't have a lot, though._ I was so far gone that I didn't even realize that my words weren't making any sense. I was at that stage where nothing else mattered to me. I giggled. _Bye, bye inhibitions_.

_Leah, go home and sleep it off._

_Right._ I nodded. _But before I go I want to tell you something…_

_What?_

_Uh…_ Okay, my brain completely failed me. I had no clue what I was going to ask Embry. Something to do with Jacob? No, that wasn't it. _Crap. Uh, I seem to have forgotten…_

_Forgotten what?_

I laughed. _Everything._

_You're going to have a hell of a hangover tomorrow._

I ran as a wolf for about another half a mile and then decided I should probably phase back. Embry and Jacob were the only two running tonight. Jacob had taken off. I wasn't surprised that he finally decided to run away. Hell, if I knew what was good for me I'd run away, too. Jacob was trying very hard not to think of anything other than wolf thoughts. Embry was sad that his best friend was running off. It made me sad and it killed my buzz. Listening to Embry's thoughts, even though he was quietly thinking them, was louder than hell and it was giving me a headache.

When I phased back I looked around for my clothes. "Aw, man…" I noticed that the bungee cord was not around my ankle. That's right, I didn't have anything to change in to. Well, that was just my luck. What the hell had I done with my clothes? I squinted my eyes as I tried to think.

"Where did I leave my little clothes?" I looked around the woods. I tapped my lips as I thought and then let out a laugh. "Oh my God. I can't feel my lips." I giggled.

I heard a noise from behind me and spun around drunkenly. I peered past the trees and saw a barn down the hill from here. Maybe I could at least find something to cover myself with as I walked home from here.

Then I realized something.

"Wait a second. Where the hell am I?" I was so trashed that I hadn't even realized that I wasn't anywhere _close_ to my house.

I shrugged as I quietly made my way down to the barn. It sounded pretty quiet inside. When I cracked open the door I saw someone moving around. Crap, guess ole Bubba was going to get a free peep-show from me tonight if I wasn't careful. Bubba seemed to be filling the water buckets.

I saw a towel and snatched it. This would work. Pulling the towel knocked some tools off of a shelf.

"Shit," I muttered quietly. Bubba boy spun around the barn, nervously looking for something out of the ordinary. I tried not to move. I just stayed hidden behind a big pile of hay.

"Alright, who's in here?" the man questioned. Now that I could see his face I realized that he wasn't the inbred ugly idiot that I'd assumed he was. He was actually very handsome.

I continued to stay still. The less I had to explain to someone the better. I could just imagine what it would look like to an outsider. Some drunk moron showing up in their barn babbling about werewolves and how her boyfriend left her to be with her cousin. What a sob story my life had become. I had to laugh at the shit-hole that was my world.

Crap. I had been laughing out loud. I heard footsteps coming towards me. Suddenly, they stopped. I perked up, wondering if maybe he had run away like a sissy. My curiosity got the better of me as I peered out from behind my hiding spot.

Big mistake.

There was a nozzle in my face. "What the hell!" I cried as the guy pulled the trigger and doused me with water.

"Hey! Stop it!" I exclaimed as I got a mouth full of water.

He immediately pulled back and I saw the confused expression wash across his face.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were a burglar."

"What the hell would I be stealing? Oats?" I snapped.

Then I let out a laugh. It _was_ kind of funny. He thought I was an intruder here to cause some kind of harm and he used a hose as a weapon? He was staring at me, dumbfounded.

"Why would you spray me with the hose if you thought I was a criminal?" Ha, _if_ I was a criminal. Hell, I _was_ a criminal.

"To stop you."

"Yeah, that might have worked if I was the wicked witch in _The Wizard of Oz_." I rolled my eyes. I stood up and shook some water out of my hair.

"Can I help you with something?" he questioned.

_No. I'm standing here naked in the middle of your barn just for the hell of it._ I thought to myself sarcastically. He still stood staring at me like a dumbass. "You think maybe I could get some clothes or something?"

"Well, this is a barn." He frowned at me.

_Yes. And the duck goes 'quack' and the cow goes 'moo.' Very good._ Did he want a cookie for stating the obvious?

"There aren't any clothes in here." He looked around the barn stupidly.

"Uh huh." I nodded. "I see." I paused for a moment. "Do you think that _maybe_ you might have some, oh, I don't know, possibly at your house?" There was a silly thought. Having articles of clothing in your place of residency.

He smiled and nodded. "I just might."

He started to lead the way out of his barn…that didn't have any clothes. I walked beside him awkwardly. The towel was starting to feel awfully small. But I was still drunk enough that I didn't really care who saw me naked. When we got close to the door I tripped over my feet again.

"Oh, are you okay?" he questioned.

I laughed hysterically as I pulled myself up on my hands and knees. "I'm fine. Been doing it all night." I chuckled.

Apparently he was concerned about me scraping my knees.

"Be careful."

"Oh, I'm on my hands and knees all the time," I snorted. "Okay, that came out wrong."

I heard the barn door open and glanced up to see a woman standing there staring at us with her mouth wide open. She looked crazed, and frankly, a little terrifying. Her hair was a complete rats-nest.

The man smiled calmly at her.

"Honey, I was just heading back to the house…"

It was obvious that this was his wife. She looked pissed. It was then that I realized what this must have looked like to her. I leaped to my feet and waved my hands around.

"Oh, no. No, no, no, no! This is _not_ what it looks like! See, I can explain…"

I racked my brain for an explanation that would make sense but the only thing I could think of was the image of me tripping and falling down at her husband's feet. I don't know why...but that was suddenly very funny to me. I couldn't help myself as I exploded into hysterical laughter.

"Um…see, well…" I wanted to smack myself in the head. God damn it, where the hell was my brain?

"You have ten seconds to start explaining," she snapped at me.

"He squirted me and then I got all wet…" Wow, nothing that I said tonight was coming out right.

"What?" she screamed.

"I mean...I needed help so I came in here because of your husband…" Jesus, what the hell was I thinking?

"You little whore!" Her face turned bright red.

"Who are you calling a whore you bitch?" Okay, so I had gone from "happy, giggly" drunk to "angry" drunk in record time. "Up yours, Elly May Clampett." I had to remember to thank my mom later for forcing me to watch "The Beverly Hillbillies" when I was growing up. "Don't you have a cousin you should be sleeping with?"

As soon as I spoke the words I realized that it was a probably a mistake. I glanced at her husband, who was just staring between the two of us stupidly. I took a moment to look at his facial features. He really was gorgeous. Too gorgeous to be with the whacked out woman standing in front of us.

"Just one question…" I faced the man. "What the hell is such a good looking guy doing with _her_?" I glanced at his wife.

Fury shot across her face. Jesus, I had a big fucking mouth. I should have learned by now that I should _never_ drink.

"That's it." The woman grabbed something from the corner. I figured she was going to throw something at me. I nearly leaped out of my skin when I saw it was a rifle. She blasted a shot towards me and I felt the ringing in my ears as the bullet flew by and pierced a bucket of plant food next to me.

"Holy fuckballs. You just shot at me! Like…with a gun!"

The woman didn't say anything as she blasted the gun again.

"Oh, shit…" I dashed forward drunkenly. Even though I couldn't walk straight I somehow managed to get out of the barn without getting shot. The woman was in hot pursuit of me.

I tried to phase but my concentration was so off that I couldn't make the change. I stumbled forward into their cornfield as I heard another blast ring out behind me. Crap, how much ammo did that thing hold?

Another shot.

I couldn't help but be a moron. "Ha! Missed me!"

"Where the hell are you, you little cunt?" Wow, she had a mouth just like I did.

I slapped my hand over my mouth trying to contain the laughter that was building up in my chest. I giggled uncontrollably.

"I'm gonna get shot. Hee, hee, hee…"

I could hear the woman stalking me like I was some kind of animal. I had done enough laughing at the situation. It was time to haul ass and get the hell away from the crazy woman with the shotgun. She didn't look like she would mind going to prison for killing someone with a rifle.

I heard another blast from behind me as I tore through the field. The stalks were slicing my skin open but I wasn't paying any attention to that. I knew I would heal. There was another shot and it clipped my arm. I barely felt it. Between the alcohol and my adrenaline I couldn't feel a damn thing.

By the time I reached the end of her field I was covered in tiny cuts all over my body. I didn't care. I just kept running. I ran a good couple of miles before I finally slowed down.

My heart was racing. I closed my eyes tightly and squeezed them trying to keep my vision from swaying back and forth. I took a moment to survey the damage. The little cuts were healing up. I chuckled as I tried to count them.

"One cut, two cut. Red cut, blue cut." Wow, flashback to elementary school. Why the hell was I quoting Dr. Suess?

As I walked forward all I could think about now was Green Eggs and Ham. Damn that Dr. Suess. Now I was hungry.

"Hey..." I noticed a street sign. "I know where I'm at!" I was a few blocks away from Sam and Emily's place. And as much as I hated going there...that might be my only option.

I was dragging my feet as I walked towards their house. Most of the lights were out. The place looked empty. Maybe I would be lucky and no one would be there. Maybe the girls all took Emily out to get a lap-dance from a stripper or something. That would be a streak of very fortunate luck for me.

As I neared their house I noticed movement from inside. Damn, and here I thought I was going to get away with stealing some of Emily's clothes and getting home without anyone knowing about my run in with the crack-whore with a gun.

I looked inside and saw Sam coming out of the bathroom. I grabbed a blanket from a chair on his front porch and wrapped myself up so I wouldn't be _completely_ exposed. Having his drunk ex-girlfriend show up naked on his porch is probably one of the last things he'd ever want to happen to him.

"Sam…" I whispered through the window. I saw him look up, confused. I called for him again and waved when he spotted me.

He was at the front door almost instantly. His jaw dropped in shock when he saw the condition I was in. I was wearing a drunk grin on my face.

"Leah?" he asked. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Some crazy bitch with a shotgun tried to kill me." I laughed.

He leaned forward. "I thought you were supposed to be out running tonight."

I had just told him that someone tried to kill me and he was lecturing me about stupid werewolf duties? What. An. Asshole.

"Embry's got it covered." I shrugged as I peeked in the house. "Is Emily home?"

I really didn't want my cousin to see me like this. Mostly because I'm sure she would give me the same lecture that I had given Jacob two days ago about how idiotic it was to try and drink your problems away. I was such a hypocrite.

"She went out with the girls." Ah ha! So they _were_ getting her a stripper. "Is that alcohol that I smell?" Sam sniffed the air.

Busted. I was standing naked on his porch. How could alcohol _not_ be involved? I rolled my eyes at his stupidity.

"So what if it is?" I questioned.

"Leah, have you been drinking?" Sam asked me again seriously. Okay, _I_ was plastered and _he_ was the one repeating himself?

"Not only have I been drinking, but I am _drunk_ out of my mind." I giggled.

"Get in here." He pulled me inside his house. "God, you look like hell."

"You always know _just_ what to say to make the girls swoon." I laughed caustically.

He sighed as he looked down at his feet and muttered, "Why do you do these things?"

"Why do you _suck_ so much?"

"Go put some clothes on. I'll make you some coffee," he sighed.

As I walked down the hallway I saw all the cute little pictures that Emily and Sam had lined up going towards their bedroom. It was making me sick to my stomach. Well, either that, or the alcohol was starting to give me indigestion.

I thought about their upcoming wedding and cringed. This really sucked. I didn't want to be here in this house. In _their_ house. Why had I come to Sam for help? Was I really _that_ drunk? No. I decided I could get myself home. I peered back into the kitchen and saw that Sam was brewing a pot of coffee.

Ha, I would show him. Wait until he found out that I'd bailed on him leaving him with an unused pot of coffee.

God, that was pathetic. I wanted to do something malicious to him and all I could come up with was to laugh evilly at the fact that he wasted a pot of coffee?

I almost screwed up my escape as I tried to climb out through his bedroom window. Problem was...the screen was still in it. It took me a moment to figure out why I couldn't get outside. I laughed as I removed the screen and fell on my face climbing out. I didn't even care enough to replace the screen as I disappeared into the woods.

I cussed at myself for not grabbing a pair of clothes when I had been in the house. That had been the whole point of going to their house.

"God, I'm a stupid alcoholic."

After I had been walking for what felt like forever I sat down to rest. I leaned back in to a tree and looked at the stars through a small clearing above me. It really was beautiful out here. The alcohol had now relaxed me to the point where I felt like I could drift off to sleep at any moment…

I woke up the next morning butt naked in the middle of the woods. Embry was right. I had a hell of a hangover. I pushed myself off of the ground and spit some dirt out my mouth.

"Ugh, natural light. Get it off of me," I grumbled. Why the hell did it have to be sunny _today_ of all days? Any other day of the week it would have been pouring down rain. Why couldn't it be overcast today?

Oh, right. Because I had the shittiest luck in the world. As I made my way home clutching my head and groaning about the beautiful day the only thing I could force myself to do was laugh at my luck. Because if I laughed at it...maybe I wouldn't kill anyone today.


	67. Outtake 4: Meant to be

_**Originally this was going to be chapter two but I decided to cut it. It didn't flow with the story like I wanted it to. But I still wanted to post it because it was different than all of the other chapters I've written. It's something I enjoyed doing because I wrote half of it from Leah's perspective and the other half from Embry's.**_

* * *

******Outtake Number 4:**

**"Is my life some kind of cruel joke?"**

I hate weddings. I hate everything about them. From the horribly hideous dresses to watching the bride and groom publicly make-out at the alter. It was a stupid traditional union that never lasted. Although, it was comical to see the happy couple promise to love each other forever when it reality they would hate each other so much in two years that divorce couldn't seem to come fast enough. In middle school I saw one of my friend's parents go through a bitter divorce. They fought constantly over who got to keep their stupid dog. Never-mind the fact that they had a kid. All they were concerned about was what the dog was going through. People are such selfish assholes.

"Leah, are you coming? We're going to be late."

"So what?" Oh, heaven forbid I show up late to another damn party thrown by Sam and Emily. Seriously, how many engagement parties did one couple need? I was starting to think that they were doing it just for the gifts.

It just seemed like marriage was the "hot topic" this week. Even though Sam and Emily's wedding wasn't for another six months I still felt like that's all we ever talked about in this town. Everyone in La Push needed a freaking life in the worst way.

And as if watching my ex-boyfriend marry my best friend wasn't going to be hard enough, there was another wedding that was happening in three days. Bella Swan and Edward Cullen. A moronic eighteen-year-old human and a hundred-something-year-old vampire who had never been laid. Though I didn't like the vampire I couldn't deny that being alone for so long must have sucked. That had to be very frustrating. The sexual tension alone would have been enough to turn me into a mopey depressed psychopath, too.

"Aw, cheer up. The whole pack is going to be there." Seth could see that my mood was less than happy.

"And _that's_ supposed to make me feel better about this?"

The fact that my pack was going to be there was not a selling point. Paul and Jared pissed me off. I hated hanging out with them. They thought that just because they phased before everyone else that they were _so_ special. _"Oh, I'm God's gift to werewolves."_ I rolled my eyes.

Sam, the only boy I had ever loved - the same boy who had stomped on that love and sliced it into a million little pieces was not someone I wanted to be around either. In fact, it caused me actual physical pain to be in his company. That's probably why I was such a bitch when I was a wolf. I never did the "wah, poor me" crying pain. I did the "fuck the world, throw things at the wall" pain. When I got hurt, even when I was younger, I had a tendency to cuss rather than cry. I could hope that Sam wouldn't be there, but the fact that it was _his_ party made the chances of him being there pretty good.

Jacob wouldn't be there. He was still somewhere in Canada. Probably smoking the legal dope and hunting for moose or some shit like that. His thoughts lately were very depressing, like morbidly so. He tried to hide it when we were wolves with him, but we could overhear how much he wanted the pain to stop. I told him if he was trying to kill himself that he should at least do something fun going out. I didn't expect him to take me seriously, but when I heard him contemplating about cliff-diving at Niagara Falls I realized that he was further gone than we'd all realized. I think if he followed through with it I'd miss him. Though Jacob and I didn't always get along we _did_ have fun together sometimes. Our similar personalities clashed in all the wrong ways.

Hanging out with Seth wasn't so bad. He was annoying, but that's just because he was my brother. Usually when all of the wolves were together I would gravitate towards him...which annoyed the shit out of him. And that only made me want to be by his side more.

Collin and Brady were generally pretty quiet kids. They were new to the whole werewolf thing. I think they were still letting it sink in. I had to wonder how long it was going to be before they let the wolf-blood in them turn them into territorial assholes like the rest of the pack.

And then there were Embry and Quil. Jacob's buddies. Quil was a cocky self-absorbed character. Completely full of himself. Embry was usually much quieter than his friends. Occasionally he would come out of his shell a bit, but most of the time he just stayed out of everyone's way. I didn't really hate him as much as the rest of the mutts. I couldn't hate someone who wanted nothing but harmony among the world.

"How long is this going to take?" I frowned at my brother.

"Oh, come on, it should be fun." Seth smiled. "Emily made lunch. And then afterwards we're doing karaoke. Apparently it was an early wedding gift from one of Sam's old buddies."

"Who the hell buys a karaoke machine for a wedding gift?" What happened to blenders and silverware?

"Why? Why'd you get them?" Seth questioned.

My jaw dropped. He actually thought I had cared enough to buy Sam and Emily a gift?

"Not killing the groom. That's my present." I shut the front door behind me.

"I made them a decorative candle." Seth proudly held up the box that he'd wrapped.

"Seth, are you gay?" It had plagued me my whole life. My brother had always been into girly things.

Seth rolled his eyes. "Liking arts and crafts doesn't make someone gay."

"Sounds like something a queermo would say." I teased him.

I knew he wasn't gay. I'd overheard his _disturbing_ male thoughts more than once. I'd heard that the average teenage boy thought about banging a chick every fifteen seconds. I never knew how true that was until I joined the pack. I hung around with a bunch of horny little brats.

Seth ignored me like he always did.

"Hey, can I drive? I need to get as much driving in that I can while I've got my permit."

I shrugged. "Sure. I'm not afraid to die." I tossed him the keys. Maybe we would get into a horrible wreck on the way and I would get out of going to the party by being dead. I could imagine the phone call I'd make to Sam from the beyond _"Yeah, I won't be attending your stupid party __OR_ your stupid wedding on account of me being dead and all. Suck it, Rin-Tin-Tin." Then I'd hang up on him.

No such luck. Seth got us to Sam and Emily's place safe and sound. When we arrived everyone else was already there.

Emily met us at the door, hugging me and thanking me for a gift that I hadn't gotten her.

"Your mother brought the vase by earlier. It's beautiful." She gushed about how my mom had stopped by to drop off my wedding present to them earlier this morning. "She said the store had to put the final inscription on it this morning." Which would explain why I hadn't brought it over myself. Wow, my mother had thought of everything. She was a devious little manipulator.

Emily and Sam had bought her story so easily. If it had been me I probably would have been more skeptical. I mean, why the hell would I get them a vase for their wedding present?

"Hey, we're all here. The party can officially start." Quil punched Seth in the shoulder playfully.

"I'm glad you guys could make it." Sam shut the door behind me.

I felt like he was boxing me in. I shuffled away from him and into the living room. Collin and Brady were sitting on the couch eating sandwiches and talking to Jared and Paul. Embry walked out of the kitchen with a cookie in his mouth.

"These are really good, Emily."

She frowned at him. "What's that, like your third? You better have saved some for everyone else."

Embry looked at the floor sheepishly.

"You're banned from sweets until I say otherwise." She said it almost as if she were his mother. I couldn't help but laugh. She might as well have said _"You're grounded. Go to your room."_

The other boys hemmed and hawed at him. _"Ha, you got in trouble."_ Stupid male stuff. I pushed Collin off of the couch and sat down uncomfortably across from Paul.

"Leah, would you like something to eat?" Emily offered.

I had to play the nice little happy cousin so she couldn't see how miserable I really was.

"Oh, no, thank you. Maybe I'll grab a bite later. I ate a big breakfast." I forced a smile out.

Seth muttered under his breath, "Since when is a bagel considered a large breakfast?"

I shot him a warning glance. _Shut your fucking mouth_. I looked at Emily and could see that she was hurt by my lack of appetite. I frowned. I was going to have to force myself to eat her food poisoned by _love_.

"Do you have any muffins?"

The half of her face that wasn't paralyzed lit up with a smile. "Blueberry or Banana Nut?"

"Banana nut." I really didn't care, but that one was more fun to say. It was comical. Banana with nuts. That was funny.

She was quick to grab me a muffin. I faked a moan as I bit into it. "Wow, delicious." I took another small bite.

The phone rang and Sam went to get it. I heard him muttering in the kitchen. Emily followed him curiously.

When they were gone I shoved the rest of the muffin in my mouth so I wouldn't have to endure watching them stare at me as I ate it.

"Did you really enjoy the muffin _that_ much?" Brady asked curiously.

I shook my head and laughed. "Of course not. I faked it." I paused. "I'm used to faking things when it comes to Sam..."

"Oh, nice one!" Embry was the only one who barked out a laugh.

After everyone ate we gathered in the living room and I watched everyone chatting happily. I was miserable but I tried my best not to let it show. I even summed up enough strength to sing a little bit of karaoke. Everyone watched me in shock.

Sam stood up after a while and kissed Emily on the top of her head. "I've got an errand to run." He looked at us. "You all feel free to stay here as long as you want. I shouldn't be gone long."

And hopefully I would be gone before he got back. I didn't feel like sticking around here much longer.

Emily stood up to walk him out. They shared a loving embrace. I threw up a little in my mouth. He took her hands in his and squeezed them happily.

It took all the restraint I had not to spit out, _Why don't you shove it in my face a little more, you horsefucker?_

My hostility softened when I saw the engagement ring on her finger. I sighed, _That should have been me._ My heart broke into a million pieces - yet again.

"You want me to come with you?" Jared asked.

I got sick and tired of watching Jared act like Sam's little love slave.

Sam shook his head.

"No. You all stay here."

It almost sounded like an order. Now I was curious what Sam was up to. He walked out the door.

Before Emily could sit down the phone rang again.

"Look who's Mr. and Mrs. Popularity today," I muttered quietly.

Emily had to take the call. It was her sister. Claire was apparently not feeling well today. Quil was the first one to leap up. He followed Emily around, desperately asking questions about what was wrong with his little angel. Emily disappeared into the backyard, but Quil followed her.

"Wow, Quil really loves Claire." Collin pointed out.

_What was your first clue, jackass?_ I thought harshly. "He imprinted on her." I looked at him like he was an idiot.

"I know. But I guess…I just never thought about it like that. I mean, I see Sam and Emily and how much they love each other. And then there's _this_ guy - who's always doting on Kim…" He shoved Jared with a smile on his face. "It's just different for Quil."

"Why? Because his girlfriend is massively underage?" I questioned. "It doesn't work like that." As much as I hated imprinting I knew that there was nothing sexual about it. Imprinting was a lot of nonsense about destiny. But seeing it through the guys' eyes I understood that when they imprinted on someone they were basically just telling that person, _"Hey, I'm here for you. You want me to be your best friend, that's fine. If you need someone to talk to, call me. I will be whatever you want me to be."_

In my opinion I thought imprinting was just a way to sell yourself into slavery. It almost seemed desperate, _"Love me! Please love me! I crave your attention!"_

"She's right." Paul had trouble agreeing with me. "It doesn't." I had almost forgotten that Paul had joined the IIC: The Idiot's Imprinting Club. I originally wanted to call it IA: Imprinter's Anonymous, but I liked the acronym "Ick" better.

"You know...Jacob's going to kick your ass when he finds out you imprinted on his sister." It had only been three days since Paul imprinted on Rachel. They met on the beach and it was _love_ at first sight. _Gag_. Right out of a god damn romance flick.

Billy was beyond freaked out. It's a good thing that Jacob wasn't in town because if he was then Paul would be dead. None of us had phased lately so Jake hadn't overheard it in our thoughts...yet.

"How is he going to kick my ass from Canada?" Paul rolled his eyes.

"He'll be back sooner or later." Embry broke his silent streak.

"Yeah, right." Paul laughed. "Face it. Jacob's never coming back. He took the coward's way out."

"He's just sorting through some things. He'll come back," Embry said surely.

We watched the boys bicker back and forth. I hadn't seen Embry this passionate about anything in a while. The last thing that got him riled up was when Jared was giving my brother hell for something. Embry liked to defend those who couldn't defend themselves. Yeah, a regular freaking saint.

"You know what's ironic? He's all pissed off that Bella is abandoning the people she loves for vampires but he's doing the same damn thing. I see how much Rachel and Billy miss him every day. I have no sympathy whatsoever for him."

"Yeah, because sympathy means you have to have a heart. Which...you obviously _don't,_" Embry growled. "You have no idea what he's going through."

"And you do?" Paul questioned. "Because you've _obviously_ been in love so many times before," he snarled sarcastically.

"Just because I don't have someone doesn't mean I don't understand what he's going through."

"Whatever. He's ignoring the real world because he's not man enough to face reality. He's a pussy."

"Not if you look at things from his perspective. I can relate."

"Well, then you're a pussy, too."

I'd heard enough. Paul was really being a dickweed and he was getting on my nerves.

"Blow it out your ass, Paul."

"Excuse me, I don't recall inviting a bitch into this conversation," he snapped.

"You're in it, aren't you?"

"Why don't you run along and help Emily in the kitchen or something?" Paul questioned.

"You're the one who likes to cook fish every night. I think the only reason you cook all the time is because you're trying to cover up the smell of your fishy vagina. Seriously, how long has it been since you cleaned out your delicate little woman area?"

That comment got to him. I saw him start to shake and smiled a little in satisfaction. He was so easy to piss off. I liked a challenge. I missed Jacob. He was much harder to piss off.

Since he was already livid I figured I would throw everything I had at him.

"Tell me something - does Rachel have your ass completely whipped yet?"

Everyone sat in silence waiting for Paul to bail to find some place to phase. I leaned in closer to Paul to show him I was not afraid of him.

_Bring. It. On._

* * *

**Embry's POV:**

Paul was shivering in anger. I was actually surprised that he'd been able to hold it together for this long. Leah was good at getting all of us to lose our temper. She could be more vulgar than all of the guys put together. Never in my life had I met a woman who had a mouth dirtier than mine. She was something. I bet that right now Paul was wishing Jacob _was_ in town kicking his ass, because Leah was _harsh_.

I know that she was hoping for Jacob to go all "Rambo" on Paul for imprinting on his sister, but the truth was that he was too brokenhearted to care at the moment. I had spoken to Jacob yesterday about Paul and Rachel, but he was still so upset over his loss of Bella that he didn't react like I thought he would. I would have placed money down that Jacob would come back to town just to rip Paul to shreds. I would have lost that bet. He still didn't seem to be shifting his path. It sucked. I missed having my friend around. He, Quil, and I used to be best buds. But since Quil imprinted and Jacob ran off I've pretty much got nothing left - except watching my pack argue amongst themselves.

"What did you just say?" Paul hissed at Leah.

I glanced in Leah's direction. What would she say? Would she use Rachel to piss him off? Would she accuse him of being a girly man? Would she make fun of his hair? It did look like crap lately.

"Aw, you're so touchy today with your irrational mood swings. Are you manstrating?" Leah spurted.

I couldn't help but laugh. Even though she had a mouth like that of an Army Sergeant, some of the things that came out of her were downright hilarious.

I hadn't meant for this to turn into an argument. I just figured that since Jake wasn't here to defend himself that someone should speak up for him. I knew it was either going to be me or Seth. Seth was too busy chatting with Collin and Brady, so the chore had fallen into my lap. Curse my caring nature.

"You are without a doubt the saddest case of a pathetic unhappy wench I've ever seen. You're just jealous because you're going to be alone forever," Paul snarled hatefully.

Even though Leah was good at hiding her pain around us I could still see a hint of anguish in her eyes. Paul had hit below the belt on that one. It was wrong to use Leah's past against her...especially since she hadn't gotten over it yet.

I felt compelled to defend her but I didn't know what to say. Whatever I said wasn't going to take back Paul's words. He was such a fucking douchebag sometimes.

Leah didn't change her attitude as she snapped back at Paul, "You're just pissed because you've never been able to please a woman with your miniscule baby cock."

And she was back in the game. Leah never was one to stay out of a fight, especially if it was with Paul. She was the only one of us that would call him on his shit. Sam spent most of his time playing the kind father figure to try and keep Paul calm when he lost his temper. It obviously didn't work, but I sure as hell wasn't going to tell my Alpha that. And since Jacob had taken off Leah was the only one with enough guts to spar with Paul.

"Like you would know." Paul rolled his eyes.

Leah snorted, "I think Rachel's exact words were 'that's it?'"

She and Rachel hung out from time to time. I guess they did the whole "girl-talk" thing with each other. I shuddered trying to get the image of Rachel and Paul boinking out of my head. If there was boric acid around I would be pouring it directly in my brain at the moment.

Paul looked like someone had just castrated him. I laughed my ass off.

"What are you laughing at, Call? You've never even been with a woman," Paul snapped.

I looked up to reply, but the only thing I could see was Paul sitting on the loveseat bare-ass naked. I wanted to fight back but all I could see was Rachel and Paul _together_.

Arg! _Paul's penis, Paul's penis, Paul's penis_! Why couldn't I get that damn image out of my head?

"According to Rachel neither have you." Leah quickly came to my rescue. God, she was going to think I was a total pussy if I didn't start fighting my own battles.

I doubted Leah's comment was true. Even though Paul and Rachel had only been together for three days it's like they had been husband and wife for years. I think this is the first time I'd seen Paul away from her since the day he'd imprinted on her on the beach. I had witnessed the idiot's tongue falling out of his mouth like he was in some bad cartoon or something. He salivated so much that I called him Pavlov's freaking dog. He didn't get it. Of course he didn't get it. He had a GPA of negative 2.4. But even if he _had_ gotten it he wouldn't have cared. Because all he saw, all he heard, and all he cared about was Rachel.

I had often wondered how Billy was going to keep the fact that Jake was a werewolf from Rachel when she moved home. It certainly wasn't an easy lie to live. My mom was constantly yelling at me for sneaking out. I'd gotten used to it. I understood the importance of keeping the werewolf thing a secret. It was a lot for people to handle. It was hard on Leah and Seth's dad. Hell, it _killed_ him. I didn't want my mom to suffer a heart attack like Harry Clearwater.

"I just feel bad for her. I mean, for the next fifty years the girl is going to have to pretend you're pleasing her." Leah shrugged. "Oh, well. At least she'll have time to perfect her acting skills."

Again, even if Leah's statement wasn't true it was still hilarious to see Paul huff and puff like a little three-year-old. I think this argument was going to go on for a while. It always amused me to watch Leah verbally kick Paul's ass.

"Not everyone is as loose as you, Leah," Paul snapped.

"Apparently, your mom is because _you're_ here." Leah grinned.

Paul let out a low growl and Jared stood up, intervening. I guess he thought that since Sam wasn't here someone magically voted _him_ the Alpha in the room. I frowned.

_This election was rigged! I want a recount!_ I would have never voted Jared as Alpha.

"Leah, leave Paul alone." Jared frowned.

Of course he would defend Paul. I took a moment to sympathize with Leah. She was the only female among us. I don't think any of the guys took into account how hard it had to be for her to try and keep up with the boys. Not that she wasn't good at it. Hell, half the time she far surpassed a _girl's_ expectations. If anyone was tough enough to be a wolf, it was her.

"Wow, I'm surprised you were able to speak, what with your mouth being so full all the time. I'm touched that you would take the time to remove Sam's dick from your mouth for half a second." Leah didn't even flinch at Jared's warning.

Jared snarled at Leah as well. He and Paul were both trembling now. Without Sam around it was going to be really hard to keep them from phasing and lunging for Leah. But that was one thing about her...she was really good at getting a room to shut up and pay attention. She'd make an awesome school teacher some day…if she wasn't such a foul-mouthed hateful person.

I looked over at Collin and Brady. They didn't look as terrified as I thought they would. They were leaning forward in anticipation.

Seth was the only one brave enough to muster up a response.

"Leah," he softly said to his sister, "maybe it's time for us to go."

"But things were just getting interesting." Leah laughed.

She didn't look afraid. Sometimes I thought she was suicidal. I cringed thinking about a time after Sam had broken up with her that Leah _did_ get all Emo and depressed. If Seth and I hadn't found her when we did…well, I didn't want to think about it.

Finally I broke my silence, "Eh, come on, let's get out of here." I stood up. "You mind giving me a ride home?"

"Sure. Whatever." Leah stood up. She never took her eyes off of Jared and Paul.

"I'm just going to let Emily know we're leaving." Seth walked towards the back door.

I followed Leah out the front to their mother's car.

She leaned against the car and let out a sigh, "Paul is such a fucking douchebag."

I laughed uncontrollably. I had _just_ thought that to myself two minutes ago.

"He's definitely a nuisance," I agreed.

She let out an aggravated grunt.

"I just…I want to break his god damn dick in half."

"You can borrow my tweezers to do it," I offered.

She let out a boisterous laugh. It wasn't that "fake" laugh that she'd been doing for the past year. It was a genuine chuckle of amusement. I had never seen Leah smile. Something about it drew me in.

I glanced up from the ground. I'd always been kind of a shy guy. I formed a habit when I was a kid of averting my eyes from actually making eye-contact with everyone else.

"Hey, thanks for having my back in there." It really was nice of her to come to my defense.

"Sure. It's cool. Any chance to fight with Paul is fun for me." She shrugged and paused for a moment. "Plus, you're the only one in this pack I give a flying butt-fucking fart in space about." There was her trademark naughty language again. I laughed. "You're worth defending."

That was kind, especially for Leah. I looked at her and she smiled at me. We locked eyes. Her smile made me feel really warm. And her eyes were softer than I'd realized. I had never taken the time to stop and look at how pretty she was. I felt something strange jolt my body and my eyes widened with realization.

Jesus, Mother of the Frickin Lord. I was in love with her. Had I just…imprinted? On Leah Clearwater?

Leah Clearwater? The same girl who gave me hell for not knowing who my father was? Leah Clearwater? The woman who swore she would never love again? Leah "I hate the world" Clearwater? But that didn't make any sense. I thought the "imprinting" thing was supposed to be this whole "love at first sight" deal. The first time I'd seen Leah was when she beat me up when I was four and she was seven. I had offered to share some of my pudding with her at a get together at her parent's place. She'd told me that she didn't need someone to take care of her; that she could get her own pudding. She then proceeded to dump the pudding over my head, pushed me down, and ran away.

Even after we were wolves I never gave her a second glance. She was just Leah and I was just Embry. Besides, if we were meant to be together then why had _she_ not imprinted on _me_? My head was spinning.

"You okay, Embry?" Leah questioned.

Wonderful, I hadn't been very skilled when it came to hiding things. I had to play it cool.

"Fine." _Freaking the HELL out!_

Thank God Seth came bouncing out the front door. "Ready to go?"

But even as Seth came outside, I couldn't take my eyes off of his sister. I had to wonder if I was drooling like that moron Paul. I smiled stupidly at Leah but she didn't seem fixated on me at all. In fact, she wasn't acting like anything was different. But I knew it was. I felt it. And if I didn't play this _just_ right this was going to work out to be a complete disaster.

Riding home in the car probably wouldn't be a very good idea. I had to talk to someone about this. Someone who knew about what it felt like to imprint. Not Paul...and I wasn't exactly friends with Jared, either. That only left Sam. I glanced at the house. I had to stay here and wait on Sam to get back.

"You know, it's probably still too early for me to head home." I was going to have to lie through my teeth. I hadn't really had practice thinking on my feet like this. "This is the first time I've gotten out of my house in a while." I forced out a laugh. _I love you, Leah. _I shook my head. _Get a goddamn grip, Embry._ "Maybe I should take advantage of that."

Leah just shrugged as she tossed her brother the keys.

"Suit yourself."

I breathed a sigh of relief. She had bought it. And Seth was so stoked to be driving that he hadn't noticed my erratic behavior either.

"Later, Embry." Seth couldn't crawl behind the wheel fast enough.

Leah smiled at me one last time.

"Hey, since you're staying get in a few more jabs at Paul for me."

"Will do." I nodded. _Just leave before I grovel before you and tell you how much you mean to me_!

She climbed in the car and I suddenly felt a twinge of sadness. I really didn't want her to go. I frowned as I watched their car pull away. I wanted to be with Leah. I stood in silence for a moment before heaving out a sigh.

A voice from behind me startled me.

"You decided to stay?" Emily had about given me a heart attack.

I caught my breath. "Yeah. I need to talk to Sam about something."

"Is it something I can help you with?"

It was sweet of her to offer. But what would she know about being in love with Leah Clearwater? Yes. _Leah Clearwater_. I thought her name in a much softer tone now.

"Any idea when Sam will be back?" I questioned.

"Well, the phone call that Sam took earlier was Billy. He had an update on Jacob. Seems that he phased long enough to let his dad know that he was okay and that he wanted to talk to Sam alone. So I don't know how long it's going to be." She smiled sweetly at me. "Are you sure there's nothing I can do to help you?"

Not unless she was a licensed psychiatrist.

"No. I'll just hang out until he gets back." I wasn't going to tell her what it was about.

I followed her back in the house, where the guys were singing karaoke again. I sat down on the couch and buried my hands in my face as I listened to Collin and Paul belting out some Rolling Stones song.

I was going to have to sit here and endure Paul's really crappy impression of Mick Jagger while waiting to talk to Sam about the fact that I had imprinted on his ex-girlfriend.

Just. My. Luck.

When Sam got back from talking to Jacob I was quick to rush him outside so I could talk to him about what was going on. He laughed as we walked out on to his front porch.

"I know Paul's singing is bad, but was it really worth running out of the house?" Sam asked. Paul was now howling a Motley Crew song. I let Paul's terrible impression of Vince Neil answer Sam's question for me. "What's up, Embry? You're more spastic than usual."

"Something happened and I'm not sure how to handle it." I was jabbering nervously. I was not looking forward to telling him that his ex-girlfriend was the girl of my dreams. Why did I have to fall for her? Why couldn't my life be easier than that?

"What is it? What's wrong?" I had Sam's full attention.

"Um…there's a bug over there. Look at it." I failed miserably at an attempt to distract Sam. My plan had been to distract him long enough for me to get a head start in running for my life and yelling "I love your ex. Sorry!" Why did it have to be Leah Clearwater? Why couldn't it be some other girl? Hell, at this point I would just as soon have imprinted on a dude. Sam was going to kill me. I wasn't ready to die.

"Embry, what is going on?" Sam was starting to get impatient. He wasn't very nice when he was impatient. _Crap, you're pissing him off before REALLY pissing him off. Just stop being a pussy and tell him!_

I held my breath and then exhaled sharply while saying, "I kind of imprinted…"

"Wow, good for you, kid."

"Here's the part you're going to be kicking my ass for…" I swallowed a knot in my throat. "Please go easy on the face." Let the killing commence in three…two… "It's Leah."

"Leah who?"

"Come on, man. This is a small town. We only know one Leah."

"You don't mean…"

"Yes, your ex-girlfriend." It was hard for me not to yell at him,_ I know you're not that dense!_

"But that's impossible."

"Nothing is impossible." Didn't growing up watching the Disney channel teach him that?

"You've known Leah for years. And you've both been wolves for a significant amount of time. It would have happened way before now…"

"I don't know what to tell you, Sam. I looked at her today. I mean I _really_ looked at her…and she is the only thing I saw."

"It certainly sounds like imprinting. Perhaps we should phase and you could let me see it from your point of view?"

"No!"

I didn't want the entire pack to know about this. I didn't want Leah to find out about it. Sam was right about one thing: We had known each other for years. And one thing I knew about her is that when it came to relationships…you sure as hell better have a good plan in store or else she would punch you and run away.

"Is there any way to keep this between the two of us? I want to work my feelings out."

Sam stifled a laugh. What a dick. He cleared his throat and furrowed his brow.

"I think maybe you're just experiencing a crush. I doubt it's the real thing." His tone had a hint of mockery. Like it was impossible for someone like me to end up with someone like Leah?

"That was your relationship with Leah. Not mine."

Fuck. Had I really just said that out loud? He was going to pummel me. I saw a look of rage in his eyes and I took a step back. Sam grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and lifted me a couple of inches off of the ground.

_Great job, Embry. Now you're going to die before you get the chance to romance Leah._ I braced for the hit. To my surprise he let me go and shoved me backwards.

"Damn it. I can't hit you."

"Why not?" That was one of the stupidest things I had ever asked. I was basically inviting him to beat the shit out of me.

"If you two were truly meant to be together and Leah is meant to one day imprint on you that would make you her imprintee, and the law says you can't ever hurt a werewolf's imprintee."

I had never been so happy for a law's existence. I grinned when I realized that I could use that against him in the future. I could be the biggest douche in the world to him and he couldn't do a damn thing about it.

"Wipe that smug grin off of your face. People break laws all of the time." Sam slapped me. I was a bit surprised when his palm made contact with my face.

"Did you just bitch slap me?" Made sense. He could be the biggest bitch in the world.

"Imprint or not…Leah is my ex-girlfriend." He grunted in frustration. "You're lucky I like you, Call."

"Look, I'm sorry. I couldn't control…"

He held his hand up and shook his head in understanding. He wasn't in the mood to hear the 'I lost control and imprinted' speech. He was the king of that speech.

"Are you certain that you imprinted?"

"Considering that I've felt the strength of imprinting through your thoughts, Jared's non-censored sexual relationship with Kim in his mind, Quil's blabbing about Claire's adorable unsuccessful attempts to put on make-up, and Paul's pussy-whipped obsessive Rachel-centric mind I'm pretty sure that I know what imprinting feels like."

"If it's true then you have to tell her."

"To hell with that. I don't want her to kick me in the nads!"

"Embry, we can't sensor our thoughts."

"Then I'll stop phasing."

"Don't you think you're overreacting?"

"Do you think you could order me to not be in love with her?" At least until I figured this out.

"Believe me, I would if I could," he muttered. "I'm not thrilled about this."

"Yeah, heaven forbid Leah wind up with a guy who can make her happy." I rolled my eyes. Sam decked me in the stomach, forcing me to double over and catch my breath. I exhaled a gust of air and then stood back up. I had deserved that one. I really wished Jacob was here. I did not want to be talking about this with Sam. "You broke the law." I heaved out a cough.

"It's a misdemeanor." He shrugged. This banter was getting us nowhere. It was time to act like an adult.

"I…I love her." I flinched, afraid that he would punch me again. He didn't, so I continued, "What should I do, Sam?"

He stood in silence for a couple of minutes. His eyes were distant as he let his thoughts run wild.

"I wish I could tell you what to do." He finally broke the silence. "But I can't. When it comes to matters of the heart you have to decide for yourself." He paused and a weak grin washed across his face. "Plus, do you really think that I'm the best guy to ask for advice when it comes to Leah Clearwater? She hates my guts."

"Nah, man. Her hatred for you has…lessened." I was a terrible liar.

"She called me a ball-sucking jizz-licker earlier today."

"Yeah, but she said it with love." I had a nervous grin on my face. Sam rolled his eyes at my attempt to patronize him. Something suddenly occurred to me. If she ever saw this conversation in our thoughts she was going to throw a fit. "Is there anyway to delete or erase this conversation?" I begged hopefully.

"She'll be pissed if she ever sees the replay." Sam knew my concerns. He sighed, "If you're not ready to tell her I suppose I could teach you to channel your thoughts about her when you're running as a wolf."

"We can do that?"

"It's not easy. And don't make the mistake of assuming it's the same thing as suppressing thoughts. It is only a way to distract yourself in thought. It might buy you a few weeks."

"So this…distracting thing will keep her off of my mind?"

"More or less."

"When do we get started?"

This form of super A.D.D was my only shot at keeping Leah in the dark about my feelings for her. I needed some time to figure out what I wanted to say to her. I wanted to do this right. It was an imprinter's duty to assure the happiness of his imprintee. How in the world was I going to bring happiness to the most miserable angry she-wolf alive? I was screwed. I sighed. I had my work cut out for me. I saw an image of Leah in my head and smiled.

_She's worth it._ She was. She really was. Sam saw the smile on my face and a sneer formed on his. He ground his teeth and then let out a sigh. He'd figured out that it was the real thing. Leah was who I was meant to be with. And even though he had Emily…that hurt him. I couldn't believe that he duped me into feeling sorry for him.

"I'm sorry," I said sincerely.

What he said next astonished me.

"I could have settled for her, but we wouldn't have been happy. I couldn't stand the thought of knowing she was meant for someone else." He got lost in thought for a moment. "But I'm glad that it's you, Embry. I know that you'll love her more than I ever could."

I was so stunned that I couldn't speak. I opened my mouth without thinking and didn't filter my thoughts at all.

"Dude, you're a hell of a lot more mature than I ever gave you credit for."

The front door busted open and Jared came running into our conversation.

"Embry, Sam…you guys gotta see this! Brady is going to belt out Whitney Houston!"

Sam and I glanced at one another. We couldn't miss this. This whole Jerry Springer love triangle would have to wait. A teenage werewolf rendition of 'I will always love you' was something that we had to see. As we raced into the living room I thought about the lyrics in the song. It made me realize that Leah isn't the only one who had suffered a broken heart at the end of her relationship with Sam. Sam had once believed he was in love, but when he realized that he wasn't he had to set Leah free so she could find her true love. And as that person, I was thankful.

Great. Now I was going to tear up like a pussy. So much for mocking Brady. They were going to call me a bitch and ask me if I was taking hormones. But I didn't care. I thought of Leah and I couldn't help but smile.


	68. Author's Note

**Author's note:**

**That's all she wrote...** (hey, ha ha...that rhymes...so I'm a dork. Sue me...)

I just wanted to take the time to thank a few people who made this story come to life. First and foremost: to everyone who _read_ the story creating my little fan base...you guys are incredible. Writing the story has been wonderful and the readers were great about leaving comments, suggestions, and other helpful tips.

To Stephenie Meyer, who created the characters for me to write about (and I'll be honest, poke fun at, too). Thanks for creating "Twilight"

To my friend Amy, who shoved the damn "Twilight" series down my throat...relentlessly. Thank you for being so obsessed with the series, but I still have to say that I think you need help with your obsession with Robert Pattinson.

I'd also like to thank my friends and coworkers, not that any of them will probably ever even read the story but would kick my ass if I didn't mention them.

To everybody who was kind enough to review: Thank you. I tried to take all of the criticism (good and bad) to help make me a better author. I've always believed that criticism helps you learn. And I like to learn.

A lot of you have asked if I'll ever do anymore fanfiction. I'm afraid that I'm going to have to leave that unanswered. As much as I've enjoyed writing on this site I think I've done all I can with the series. My goal for "The Dawn Was Already Broken" was to give Leah a suitable ending. I like to believe that I accomplished that. Leah's point of view actually came pretty easily to me (I'm not an angry psycho, I swear!) and I've been asked to do a sequel. but I don't know if I could recreate the energy I had in "The Dawn Was Already Broken." Sequels just never tend to be as good as the original. *hides from angry Star Wars fans*.

I've learned to never say never. Who knows? Who's to say that I won't have some weird random dream and spontaneously start writing another story?

If you liked this fic I have several others on here. "The Moon's Dark Side" is about how Leah reacts to Sam breaking up with her. It starts out in her POV, but it shifts to Seth's POV for a bit_. _Then there is "Leah's Sunrise" which is a nifty little OOC story about a "what if" situation with Leah and Jacob. My favorite by far has to be "Emmett Cullen: Wedding Planner" which is a short little two-shot. It's Emmett...planning Bella and Edward's wedding. Hijinks ensue. I have a few other one shots as well.

The fans on this site have always been incredible. I thank you for that. You guys have seriously been so kind. And it's incredibly humbling to hear your positive feedback. I have never enjoyed writing so much.

The greatest thing about writing is imagining an ending that you know could probably never happen in real life. I've always loved to bury myself in writing to create happy endings for everyone. Because unfortunately not everyone gets one in real life.

On a completely random ending note: I feel like I should thank my dog and cat (as odd as it may sound), because they are constantly doing things that make me laugh my ass off, therefore inspiring me to write. Plus, watching my goofball dog helped me to capture some of the funny werewolf traits that I was able to put into the story.

Hmmm, maybe I just need to watch them for a little inspiration? Though I highly doubt that werewolves chase laser pointers and run into the wall chasing soccer balls.

Seriously, thank you, guys.


	69. Final Author's Note

One more thing awesome readers, because of your fantastic encouragement I summoned up the courage to publish my first series, "The Barking Mad Tale of a Teenage Werewolf". Keeping with the wolf groove (I've got a soft spot for dogs, what can I say?) it is about a group of fun-loving werewolves who spend their time playing dare or dare, placing ridiculous bets, and having a little bit of fun while guarding their town against evil. There are wise cracking werewolves, non-sparkling vampires, and a dash of romance on this journey of self discovery. It's Twilight-light, minus the emo, and with more werewolves than vampires. The first book is called "An American Werewolf in Idaho". The second is "A Tale of Two Shih Tzus" and the third is "The Labrador of the Rings". They are all on sale on Amazon as paperbacks and are up for sale on Kindle and Nook. The fourth is due out late this year.

You can also find out more information under the name Katella Stegmann or The Barking Mad Tale of a Teenage werewolf series on facebook, or follow at Barking Mad Books on Twitter. The series is packed with action, romance, humor, vampires, and plenty of pack drama. I am hoping those of you who like my fanfics will enjoy the books. Check them out! I will do a cute little monkey dance for you if you do.

While I assure you it's no Twilight, I hope you will enjoy it all the same.

An American Werewolf in Idaho: American-Werewolf-Barking-Teenage-ebook/dp/B004SY9HWQ/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1323749668&sr=1-2

A Tale of Two Shih Tzus: Tale-Barking-Teenage-Werewolf-ebook/dp/B00589W3NA/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1323749668&sr=1-3

The Labrador of the Rings: Labrador-Barking-Teenage-Werewolf-ebook/dp/B006KA0W66/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1323749668&sr=1-1


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